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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's suing the Hershey's Company because

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Speaker 1: it finally found a wrong way to eat a reesis

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Speaker 1: tongue up through the middle with reverse Wow girl thrown in.

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Speaker 2: Number one issue Peanut.

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Speaker 1: Butter burns all up and down the tongue.

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Speaker 3: I didn't even know that.

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Speaker 2: Don't try it.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna be seeing warning labels on there soon thanks

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Speaker 1: to Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we've got a laser and those other Choco sloppos just

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Speaker 1: don't This first Lazer Stories out of England. A few

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Speaker 1: years ago, a conceptual artist from Italy made a toilet

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Speaker 1: out of eighteen carrot gold and proudly named it America.

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Speaker 1: It's a commentary on unbridled capitalism or something like that.

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Speaker 2: Anyway.

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Speaker 1: It was originally on display at the Google high in

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Speaker 1: New York. He's what it looked like. You could actually

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Speaker 1: wait in line and go in and use.

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Speaker 3: It to Can you imagine I would totally waited for

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Speaker 3: that afore you. The time doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: The time limit was three minutes that you had to

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Speaker 1: use it, and if you went over a security guard

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Speaker 1: would bang on the door and tell you to finish

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Speaker 1: up your business that quick.

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Speaker 3: Never mind, dude, the pressure.

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Speaker 1: Eventually that got moved to a World Heritage site in

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Speaker 1: England where Europeans could see it. But in September of

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Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, the Golden commode mysteriously vanished in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the night.

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Speaker 3: Whoa a plumber A ghost plumber.

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Speaker 1: Authorities have been searching for it ever since, and they

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Speaker 1: finally got a break the other day when a tip

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Speaker 1: led them to four men, all between the ages of

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Speaker 1: thirty five and thirty nine, and there's some strong evidence

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Speaker 1: against them. They're facing charges for burglary and conspiracy to

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Speaker 1: transfer criminal property.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: Maybe they just stole it because they needed more than

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Speaker 4: three minutes on that thing, you know, like it's the

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Speaker 4: right age men need a little bit more time.

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Speaker 1: Sadly, police still don't know where the toilet is, but

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Speaker 1: chances are it's no longer a toilet anymore. They think

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Speaker 1: the guys melted it down long ago to just sell

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Speaker 1: the raw goal.

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Speaker 3: You don't think they installed it in the suburban home.

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Speaker 2: That would be kind of cool.

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Speaker 1: It's got to your next lazer story out of the

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Speaker 1: happiest place on Earth. Yes, I'm not sure who needs

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Speaker 1: to hear this, but Disney theme park workers would really

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Speaker 1: appreciate it if you'd stop pooping in line.

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Speaker 2: I thought about this recently. Two and a half hour

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Speaker 2: way and you're in the middle, what would you do?

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Speaker 3: You just leave and let your family hold your spots?

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Speaker 1: You can leave, Yes, A very famous newspaper just did

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Speaker 1: a big article on a long standing rumor that some

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Speaker 1: Disney guests are so desperate to keep their spot in

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Speaker 1: line they'll resort to relieving themselves right there on the ground.

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Speaker 4: I thought on the ground, like, you don't even have

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Speaker 4: the decency to put on an adult diaper before this

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Speaker 4: plan takes place.

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Speaker 2: You bought the whole bag of adult diapers in case

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Speaker 2: you need you.

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Speaker 4: If you're this person, have some forethought and some decency.

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Speaker 1: This happens at Disneyland and Disney World more often than

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Speaker 1: you'd realize. In fact, someone on Reddit recently said they

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Speaker 1: saw a parent letting their kid take a tusie while

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Speaker 1: standing in line for the ride Star Wars Rise of

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Speaker 1: the Resistance.

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Speaker 2: It's like a three hour wait.

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Speaker 3: That's a lot of resistance.

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Speaker 1: An employee backed them up in the comments and said

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Speaker 1: there were actually three poop related incidents that day. Just

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Speaker 1: in that one line alone.

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Speaker 4: I will say I was in a downtown department store

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Speaker 4: one time.

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Speaker 2: Please don't finish this story. Don't don't finish it. We

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Speaker 2: don't need to know the rest of the story. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Back to Disneyland in two Former Disneyland janitors also talked

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Speaker 1: about it in a twenty fifteen book called Cleaning the Kingdom.

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Speaker 2: They wrote a whole book about it. They said, it's

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Speaker 2: so common.

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Speaker 1: There's a secret code for it now, code H, which

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Speaker 1: used to mean a horse relieved itself on main street.

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Speaker 2: Now the H also stands for human.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Sense, The question is what should you do if

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Speaker 1: you're halfway through a four hour line and you need

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Speaker 1: to use the john Just ask.

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Speaker 4: The person behind you, even if you don't have someone

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Speaker 4: with you, be like, hey, I don't know you.

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Speaker 3: But we hold my spot while I go to the bathroom.

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Speaker 2: Wrong, you can't trust other people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to flag down an employee and tell that,

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Speaker 1: and they would let you back into the.

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Speaker 2: Line rather than clean up yesterday's lunch for you. Oh,

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Speaker 2: that's actually good to know.

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Speaker 3: Why do we have to tell people's logic?

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Speaker 4: All?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: That story perfectly transitions into our next laser story out

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Speaker 1: of Food News.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it started the segment with a toilet.

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Speaker 1: Jeff, like, what, here's a hypothetical for you. If a

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Speaker 1: company took all of your favorite burger toppings and condiments,

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Speaker 1: blended them up and released one sauce to save you time.

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Speaker 2: Would that be awesome or gross?

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Speaker 3: Gross? I don't know, but that's what fry dip is.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 1: I say that because Hines is coming out with a

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Speaker 1: new flavor, pickle ketchup.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of like tartar sauce, but for ketchup.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there's a photo of it.

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Speaker 1: It is what It sounds like, a condiment that combines

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Speaker 1: the tangy and savory flavor of pickles with traditional Hines

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Speaker 1: ketchup creamy.

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Speaker 4: I need some chunks though this looks smooth. Do you

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Speaker 4: do you have any report on the consistency of this

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Speaker 4: guy who want.

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Speaker 2: A chunky ketchup?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I know someone who's tried it says that it's like

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Speaker 1: they bottled up the flavor of McDonald's pickles and ketchup.

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Speaker 1: It isn't super dilly, and if you dip french fries

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Speaker 1: in it, it takes it to another level. Oh yeast

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Speaker 1: part is this isn't a limited release that you'll have

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Speaker 1: trouble getting your hands on. It's gonna start showing up

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Speaker 1: on shelves nationwide early next year.

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Speaker 2: A lot of confidence in it. Okay, why are they

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Speaker 2: doing this?

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Speaker 1: According to Hines, seventy three percent of Americans like pickles,

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Speaker 1: and if you're one of them, would you give this

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Speaker 1: new condiment a shot?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely?

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Speaker 3: Sure?

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Speaker 4: Good.

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Speaker 2: We found an old pickle in the break room fridge.

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Speaker 2: We chopped it up. Our watch jose In Brook eat

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Speaker 2: it on our Instagram at Brook and Jeffrey is chunky.

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Speaker 3: Old pickle A fresh pickle?

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Speaker 1: Jep his next laser stories out of the animation station.

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Speaker 3: That's fine.

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Speaker 1: I know Brook's going to be sad about this, but

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Speaker 1: The Simpsons is dropping one of its longest running gags,

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Speaker 1: child abuse.

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Speaker 3: I saw this already, Jeffrey, and I'm not. I mean, wait,

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Speaker 3: I am happy about it.

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Speaker 2: She can't decide how she feels.

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Speaker 1: In an episode a few weeks ago called Mansion in Wife,

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Speaker 1: Homer and Marge made a new neighbor. When Homer shakes

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Speaker 1: his hand, the guy comments on his strong grip, and

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Speaker 1: Homer says Marge strangling the boy paid off, but then

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Speaker 1: he adds, quote, just kidding, I don't do that anymore.

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Speaker 2: Times of change.

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Speaker 3: That's right, Yeah, you can't strangle kids anymore.

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Speaker 1: The Simpsons is in its thirty fifth season now, and

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Speaker 1: that begs the question. Our show has been on the

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Speaker 1: air for years and many many people have wondered when

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Speaker 1: or if the ending of Laser Stories will ever make

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Speaker 1: a change. From an amorous turtle getting busy with a shoe.

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Speaker 3: A lot of people.

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Speaker 2: Adverquested it, Well, here you go, this is a turtle

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Speaker 2: humping a drone.

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Speaker 3: That's dangerous.

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Speaker 2: It's an Amazon drone that's delivering shoes. But you know what,

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Speaker 2: at least it's a step towards the future, clinging for

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Speaker 2: dear life.

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Speaker 3: Do they have a little para watch out for the blades, buddy?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and there he goes right our studio. That's how

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Speaker 1: means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We'll do it again, same time on Monday,