WEBVTT - Tiffany Haddish Discovers Her Superpower 0:00:14.916 --> 0:00:32.596 Pushkin girl. If I hadn't gone through all the stuff 0:00:32.636 --> 0:00:34.956 that I've been through, I would not be funny at all. 0:00:35.156 --> 0:00:37.916 Like if you think about it, like everything that I 0:00:37.956 --> 0:00:40.596 am capable of, that how am I able to access 0:00:40.756 --> 0:00:46.756 it comes from all of the tragedy. That's Tiffany Hattish. 0:00:47.036 --> 0:00:49.796 She's a badass comedian who's won an Emmy for her 0:00:49.836 --> 0:00:53.596 performance hosting Saturday Night Live. Her Netflix special won her 0:00:53.636 --> 0:00:56.916 a Grammy for Best Comedy Album, and she's also been 0:00:56.996 --> 0:00:59.916 in the hit blockbuster movies Bad Trip and Girls Trip. 0:01:01.276 --> 0:01:03.676 This movie had made history, had made a one hundred 0:01:03.836 --> 0:01:07.636 million dollars plus, okay, and I'm trying to figure out 0:01:07.636 --> 0:01:09.516 where is maka of that money because I have this 0:01:09.556 --> 0:01:12.396 sing it at all? Yeah, And all my friends are 0:01:12.396 --> 0:01:14.596 telling me, Tiffany, you will start now, you big time. 0:01:14.596 --> 0:01:16.876 You're bawling out of control, and I'm looking at my 0:01:16.916 --> 0:01:22.516 bank account. Like I love Tiffany's irreverence. She is really, 0:01:22.756 --> 0:01:25.636 really funny. But the reason I wanted to talk to 0:01:25.676 --> 0:01:28.756 Tiffany is not because she's funny. It's because of how 0:01:28.796 --> 0:01:32.036 she uses funny, how she's turned her comedy into a 0:01:32.156 --> 0:01:36.556 superpower to navigate the profound changes She's confronted in her life. 0:01:37.516 --> 0:01:40.916 Comedy isn't just something Tiffany does on stage, it's how 0:01:40.956 --> 0:01:45.116 she survives. I'm maya Shunker. I study how and why 0:01:45.156 --> 0:01:47.556 we change, and my work as a cognitive scientist has 0:01:47.596 --> 0:01:51.236 taken me all over, including the Obama White House. All 0:01:51.276 --> 0:01:54.796 season long, I'll have intimate conversations with folks who've navigated 0:01:55.076 --> 0:01:58.756 remarkable change in their lives, and hopefully it'll get us 0:01:58.756 --> 0:02:03.316 to think differently about change in our own lives. This 0:02:03.436 --> 0:02:28.276 is a slight change of plants. I want to introduce myself. 0:02:28.796 --> 0:02:33.636 I googled you. Okay, I'm a cognitive scientist. No, I 0:02:34.116 --> 0:02:37.156 read that you was the Obama psychic. I came here 0:02:37.156 --> 0:02:40.916 to get a reading. No, I'm just flying. Your future 0:02:41.116 --> 0:02:45.236 is looking right, okay. Um, look, Tiffany. The reason I'm 0:02:45.276 --> 0:02:48.996 so excited to interview you is because you have one 0:02:49.036 --> 0:02:53.436 of the most radiant personalities, and I think that it's 0:02:53.476 --> 0:02:58.516 easy for people to forget just how challenging your childhood was. Um, 0:02:58.676 --> 0:03:00.236 so you don't mind, I'm just going to jump right in. 0:03:00.636 --> 0:03:03.916 That's mom My mom worked the graveyard shift at the 0:03:03.916 --> 0:03:07.276 post office. She gets something from working like six five 0:03:07.316 --> 0:03:09.876 in the morning or whatever. I was probably like six. 0:03:10.276 --> 0:03:13.076 I used to make these mudpies. I used to take 0:03:13.156 --> 0:03:15.636 all these spices and seasons that I could get to 0:03:15.676 --> 0:03:18.316 in the cabinet and I would mix everything together and 0:03:18.396 --> 0:03:20.676 make her like a patty. But I wake her up 0:03:20.676 --> 0:03:24.636 and I'd be like, thieves are for you, mommy, and 0:03:24.756 --> 0:03:26.956 she would go, oh, thank you. And I'd be like, 0:03:27.276 --> 0:03:31.316 because you work so hard, then you're the best working 0:03:31.476 --> 0:03:34.836 mommy ever. And she would go, oh, thank you very much. 0:03:34.916 --> 0:03:38.036 Now let working mommy sleep. And then I go, okay, 0:03:38.356 --> 0:03:39.916 I let her sleep. And then me and my sister 0:03:39.916 --> 0:03:42.516 will be playing and I would be trying to clean 0:03:42.596 --> 0:03:45.396 up the kitchen and she come in and she's seen 0:03:45.436 --> 0:03:47.196 me trying to clean up, and then she would pick 0:03:47.276 --> 0:03:50.796 me up. She gave me the best. She used to 0:03:50.836 --> 0:03:55.156 have the best, the best hugs. Sometimes I dream about 0:03:55.196 --> 0:04:00.156 those hugs, Like those hugs that's like you just feel 0:04:00.196 --> 0:04:02.436 like you're in that person's body, like you're in the 0:04:02.476 --> 0:04:07.436 safest place, like just so warm. You feel like the 0:04:07.476 --> 0:04:10.196 back of you can't even be seen. All their meat 0:04:10.236 --> 0:04:13.396 has just sucked you in. You can take a deep 0:04:13.436 --> 0:04:15.756 breath and just let all your pain out in their chest. 0:04:16.996 --> 0:04:21.516 That version of Tiffany's childhood changes in an instant. Your 0:04:21.556 --> 0:04:24.276 mom got into a terrible car accident when you were eight. 0:04:25.076 --> 0:04:28.676 Do you mind sharing how that changed your relationship with her? Oh? 0:04:28.716 --> 0:04:33.316 My goodness. Okay, so that changed the entire dynamic. It 0:04:33.516 --> 0:04:36.956 flipped it in a way. Okay, So my mom had 0:04:36.996 --> 0:04:40.436 the accident. She was in the hospital for like three months, right, 0:04:40.916 --> 0:04:43.836 And during that three month process were with my grandmother 0:04:43.916 --> 0:04:46.636 and my aunties. And when my mom came out of 0:04:46.636 --> 0:04:49.956 the hospital, and mind you, she had to learn how 0:04:49.996 --> 0:04:55.196 to talk, walk, eat, everything all over again. And I 0:04:55.276 --> 0:04:57.676 remember the day we went to go get her. The 0:04:58.116 --> 0:05:01.996 doctor said, you're gonna have to be your mom's biggest helper. 0:05:02.556 --> 0:05:04.396 You're gonna have to grow up now. You're gonna have 0:05:04.436 --> 0:05:06.756 to be right there for all the time. And I 0:05:06.836 --> 0:05:10.116 remember telling him, no problem. I love her. She's whatever 0:05:10.156 --> 0:05:13.796 she needs, I'm gonna do it right. So I'm doing 0:05:13.836 --> 0:05:18.036 these things everything. I mean, she taught me how to 0:05:18.036 --> 0:05:19.996 tie my shoe. Now I'm teaching her how to tie 0:05:19.996 --> 0:05:22.276 her shoe. She taught me how to make hot dogs. 0:05:22.276 --> 0:05:25.236 Now I'm teaching her how to make hot docts. Everything 0:05:25.276 --> 0:05:29.916 that she taught me, like, I'm teaching her, and then 0:05:29.916 --> 0:05:33.116 it was so many things that because it was hard 0:05:33.156 --> 0:05:34.836 for her to communicate, like my mom was like an 0:05:34.836 --> 0:05:40.796 excellent communicator. She had this crazy vernacular and now she 0:05:40.836 --> 0:05:44.196 barely has any words and she couldn't express herself, so 0:05:44.236 --> 0:05:47.836 she started to become violent. So it became this relationship 0:05:47.876 --> 0:05:51.276 of the person that I loved the most less planning, 0:05:51.676 --> 0:05:54.996 the first person I ever loved like she was my 0:05:55.076 --> 0:06:00.836 God is now my tormentor. And she was so mean. 0:06:01.036 --> 0:06:03.036 She was set of meaning shit in the world, like 0:06:03.556 --> 0:06:06.796 crush your spirit type stuff, and it made me start 0:06:06.796 --> 0:06:10.796 to resent her and hate her. Right. Not until I 0:06:10.796 --> 0:06:14.556 got older did I realize like she had she had 0:06:14.636 --> 0:06:16.876 brain damage. And I mean, the doctor explain that to me, 0:06:17.356 --> 0:06:20.076 but that does not register as a child when I 0:06:20.196 --> 0:06:23.556 just think about like I could feel how I felt them, 0:06:23.756 --> 0:06:28.996 just like constant fear trying to figure out how not 0:06:29.036 --> 0:06:31.476 to get my neck broke or another tooth knocked out 0:06:31.556 --> 0:06:35.796 my head, or you know, just constantly trying to figure 0:06:35.796 --> 0:06:38.996 out how do I make this person happy enough to 0:06:39.156 --> 0:06:43.956 not hurt me. Is that when you realize, like, hey, 0:06:43.996 --> 0:06:46.716 wait a second, I think my humor has power, Like 0:06:46.756 --> 0:06:50.316 I can use it to get out of dangerous situations 0:06:50.556 --> 0:06:54.076 or help get me what I want. Yeah, humor is 0:06:54.116 --> 0:06:57.596 definitely a power, and I definitely realized that as a kid. 0:06:58.036 --> 0:07:02.556 It got me hit less or make her forget to 0:07:02.716 --> 0:07:06.756 lay her thought of what she's gonna do, and then 0:07:06.796 --> 0:07:09.516 I was able to I was using that in school 0:07:09.516 --> 0:07:12.236 because I was getting bullied in school because I didn't 0:07:12.276 --> 0:07:15.436 have the best clothes, my hair wasn't done the best 0:07:15.476 --> 0:07:19.556 like I was because I was raising I was raising 0:07:19.596 --> 0:07:22.676 me and my brothers and sisters, working to try to 0:07:22.716 --> 0:07:25.476 make sure my sisters and brothers eating, that they have 0:07:25.636 --> 0:07:28.316 clothes and that they're clean, and that you know, like 0:07:28.436 --> 0:07:31.276 in getting those food stamps in the mail and helping 0:07:31.316 --> 0:07:33.436 my mom get the groceries and all this stuff, like 0:07:34.356 --> 0:07:37.836 and it's so crazy because I couldn't even barely read, right, 0:07:37.956 --> 0:07:43.676 I'm doing all this grown mom's stuff. Tiffany's mom doesn't improve, 0:07:44.116 --> 0:07:48.116 and eventually she becomes so unwell Tiffany and her siblings 0:07:48.156 --> 0:07:52.076 are forced to enter the foster care system. She's thirteen. 0:07:52.956 --> 0:07:56.116 She moves from foster home to foster home, lugging her 0:07:56.116 --> 0:07:59.716 stuff around with her in a garbage bag. Throughout all 0:07:59.756 --> 0:08:04.516 of this, her one constant is humor. I would try 0:08:04.556 --> 0:08:06.796 to make like my foster parents and the like group 0:08:06.836 --> 0:08:09.476 palm leaders and stuff, try to make them so they 0:08:09.516 --> 0:08:11.796 could keep me around, so they want me around. And 0:08:12.276 --> 0:08:13.916 you know, for a while, I was feeling like, dang, 0:08:13.916 --> 0:08:16.236 am I not good enough? Nobody wants me. They don't 0:08:16.276 --> 0:08:18.436 love me, they don't like me. Like I'm trying to 0:08:18.436 --> 0:08:19.876 be nice, I'm trying to make them laughs. I don't 0:08:19.956 --> 0:08:22.516 understand they laughing at all my jokes, but I don't 0:08:22.596 --> 0:08:26.716 understand what's wrong. And later on I learned that that's 0:08:26.716 --> 0:08:29.236 not always up to them, and so a lot of 0:08:29.236 --> 0:08:31.476 times up to the court system, you know, the age 0:08:31.516 --> 0:08:33.716 limits and blah blah blah, so many things that have 0:08:33.876 --> 0:08:36.116 nothing to do with you. Yeah, that thing to do 0:08:36.156 --> 0:08:39.196 with you, but doesn't mean that it did not affect 0:08:39.236 --> 0:08:45.716 me mentally absolutely, But my comedy, it also catapulted me 0:08:45.756 --> 0:08:49.436 and it got me help in school. Like like I said, 0:08:49.476 --> 0:08:51.316 I couldn't read that good, but I had a really 0:08:51.316 --> 0:08:53.676 great memory. So I would get like I would make 0:08:53.716 --> 0:08:56.036 somebody laugh, a guy laugh that had a cool deep voice, 0:08:56.036 --> 0:08:57.316 and I'd be like, can you read this to me? 0:08:57.356 --> 0:08:59.836 And I memorize everything he said, and I'll be able 0:08:59.836 --> 0:09:04.636 to regurgitate that verbatim in class. By the time Tiffany 0:09:04.636 --> 0:09:08.036 gets to high school, she's getting into trouble a lot, 0:09:08.396 --> 0:09:12.836 a lot. It gets to the point where Tiffany's social 0:09:12.876 --> 0:09:15.916 worker is so tired of showing up to school she 0:09:16.076 --> 0:09:19.236 gives Tiffany an ultimatum. She was like, Okay, Tiffany, you 0:09:19.316 --> 0:09:21.596 got two choices this summer. You can go to the 0:09:21.676 --> 0:09:23.876 Laugh Factory comedy camp, and you can go to psychiatric 0:09:23.916 --> 0:09:27.036 therapy because something is wrong with you. You're not normal. 0:09:27.636 --> 0:09:30.236 And I was like, which one got drugs? And she said, 0:09:30.236 --> 0:09:32.276 You're definitely gonna be on drugs if you go to therapy. 0:09:32.476 --> 0:09:34.916 And I'm like, I'll be damned. I don't want that. 0:09:34.996 --> 0:09:37.156 I don't want those drugs, So I'll go to the 0:09:37.196 --> 0:09:40.676 comedy camp. I'm trying to imagine what it was like 0:09:40.716 --> 0:09:43.076 on that first day of comedy camp. They sent the 0:09:43.156 --> 0:09:45.996 paper right that says you've been accepted to comedy camp 0:09:46.076 --> 0:09:49.876 and there'll be a lunch provided please be prepared to 0:09:49.916 --> 0:09:53.516 talk for three minutes and we will have there will 0:09:53.556 --> 0:09:58.076 be comedians there to help you grow in public speaking 0:09:58.236 --> 0:10:03.476 and comedy. Right. So on the way there, I'm thinking, 0:10:03.596 --> 0:10:08.076 like I'm gonna have lunch today on a Saturday. Normally 0:10:08.116 --> 0:10:10.676 you don't. We don't eat lu Saturday. As you get breakfast, 0:10:11.156 --> 0:10:13.316 you kind of play all day, do whatever all day, 0:10:13.356 --> 0:10:16.356 and then you get dinner. So I'm excited. I'm gonna 0:10:16.356 --> 0:10:19.756 get three meals today. All right, Saturday boom, I'm gonna 0:10:19.796 --> 0:10:21.876 get lunch. Then I'm like, I'm thinking of all the 0:10:22.036 --> 0:10:24.996 like little monologues that I know in my head I 0:10:25.076 --> 0:10:28.236 can do, and I'll just like make a fart noise 0:10:28.356 --> 0:10:31.436 or do a funny pose or something to make it great. 0:10:32.276 --> 0:10:35.036 Comedy Camp is a summer program hosted by well known 0:10:35.076 --> 0:10:39.596 comedians like Dave Chappelle, Eddie Murphy, and Charles Fleischer. And 0:10:39.716 --> 0:10:42.916 this is where Tiffany finally gets to showcase her comedic 0:10:42.956 --> 0:10:47.396 powers to the world. I get there and Charles Fleischer 0:10:47.556 --> 0:10:50.196 is there. I don't really I know the name, but 0:10:50.236 --> 0:10:54.236 I'm don't recognize him. And he gets on stage and 0:10:54.356 --> 0:10:56.636 he introduced it. He says, welcome to the Life Factory 0:10:56.676 --> 0:11:00.556 Comedy Camp. Everybody, my name is Charles Fleischer. You may 0:11:00.636 --> 0:11:04.396 recognize my voice from movies like Who Frame Roger Rabbit. 0:11:04.716 --> 0:11:07.116 My philosophy is this, if you don't have a good 0:11:07.116 --> 0:11:11.276 sense of humor. Yeah better, I'm dead. I start screaming 0:11:11.396 --> 0:11:15.796 at the top of my lines, like and everybody's looking 0:11:15.796 --> 0:11:17.156 at me, like what, And I was like, I love 0:11:17.276 --> 0:11:21.196 Roger Rabbit. That's why I'm funny because of Roger Rabbit. 0:11:22.116 --> 0:11:25.116 I got I love Roger Rabbit. And he goes, what 0:11:25.156 --> 0:11:27.236 do you love about Roger Robbit? And I tell him 0:11:27.276 --> 0:11:29.796 about the scene in the movie when the detective says 0:11:29.836 --> 0:11:32.596 to the rabbit, why are these people doing these nice 0:11:32.636 --> 0:11:35.156 things for you? And the rabbit says, because I make 0:11:35.196 --> 0:11:37.396 them laugh, Eddie, If you make people laugh, they'll do 0:11:37.556 --> 0:11:40.396 anything for you. And I said, that's what I've been 0:11:40.436 --> 0:11:42.396 doing all these years. You know. That's how I've been 0:11:42.396 --> 0:11:43.956 able to get people to help me read. That's how 0:11:43.956 --> 0:11:45.716 I get people to let me cheat on their homework. 0:11:46.116 --> 0:11:48.756 You know. That's how I get like an extra coffeecake 0:11:48.916 --> 0:11:53.396 and breakfast. And when I went to that comedy camp, 0:11:53.796 --> 0:11:57.396 it changed everything because it was the first time I 0:11:57.476 --> 0:11:59.716 felt and they told me I'm smart. I'm like me, 0:11:59.876 --> 0:12:03.076 I'm smart, Like, oh, you're talented, meet me, I'm talented. 0:12:03.716 --> 0:12:05.916 That was a feeling I never felt before. I felt safe. 0:12:07.036 --> 0:12:09.716 This camp proves to be a real up ortunity. For 0:12:09.756 --> 0:12:12.436 Tiffany and she gets to be on TV for the 0:12:12.476 --> 0:12:15.556 first time in her life. Channel two News in LA 0:12:15.796 --> 0:12:19.596 wants to do a story on her. Tiffany is thrilled, 0:12:20.236 --> 0:12:22.836 but she's a minor, so she needs a parent or 0:12:22.876 --> 0:12:26.196 guardian to sign a media release form, and because she's 0:12:26.196 --> 0:12:28.996 in the foster care system, the government has to play 0:12:28.996 --> 0:12:32.036 this role. So she goes to the LA Family Court 0:12:32.156 --> 0:12:34.676 to get in front of a judge, and in typical 0:12:34.716 --> 0:12:39.996 Tiffany fashion, she is on a mission. So the first day, 0:12:40.196 --> 0:12:43.236 I go to that courtroom and I'm sitting there. I'm 0:12:43.276 --> 0:12:45.596 sitting there, and I'm sitting there and nobody's really paying 0:12:45.636 --> 0:12:48.356 me any attention. I'm sitting there, sitting there, and I'm 0:12:48.356 --> 0:12:51.556 listening to all these other cases, these kids things. Nobody's 0:12:51.636 --> 0:12:55.756 paying me any freaking attention at all. And in the 0:12:55.956 --> 0:12:58.996 day the court day's over. Before I left the courtroom, 0:12:59.036 --> 0:13:00.756 I saw that there was a sign I said no gun, 0:13:00.996 --> 0:13:04.956 no food, no drinks, no magazines, no this, all these nos. 0:13:05.316 --> 0:13:07.516 I was like, well, I'm gonna guess those tomorrow. So 0:13:07.916 --> 0:13:10.196 I come back the next day. Right to come back 0:13:10.236 --> 0:13:15.556 the next day, I brought up magazines, walk man, you 0:13:15.596 --> 0:13:21.716 know food, I had soda everything right, yep. First I 0:13:21.836 --> 0:13:23.876 break out the magazine and I start chewing the gun 0:13:24.116 --> 0:13:26.516 that star drinking the dream. The judgment was like, who 0:13:26.516 --> 0:13:29.556 are you? I'm like, I'm Tiffany Hottish, and I need 0:13:29.596 --> 0:13:32.476 you to sign the release forms for me? Like what 0:13:33.516 --> 0:13:36.676 they get my case? Has me come up there? Asked me, 0:13:36.716 --> 0:13:38.716 what do you need a release forms signed for a why? 0:13:38.756 --> 0:13:41.076 Blah blah blah. I tell them why because I want 0:13:41.116 --> 0:13:42.836 to be a comedian. I'm gonna be like one of 0:13:42.836 --> 0:13:45.956 the greatest comedians in the world. And he was laughing 0:13:46.076 --> 0:13:48.396 and smiling. He looked like the quake gir olds man 0:13:48.836 --> 0:13:51.596 and he's like, you know what, if you are half 0:13:51.636 --> 0:13:54.356 as funny on stages you are right now, then you 0:13:54.396 --> 0:13:56.916 deserve it. And signed a release and I was able 0:13:56.956 --> 0:13:59.396 to go on the news. So what was it like 0:13:59.476 --> 0:14:02.636 seeing yourself on TV? Well, girl, let me tell you something. 0:14:02.676 --> 0:14:04.516 First of all, I did not get to see myself 0:14:04.596 --> 0:14:08.436 right away because Princess Diana died and got me bumped. Okay, 0:14:08.716 --> 0:14:11.556 I got bumped, and then it was like not till 0:14:11.636 --> 0:14:14.076 the fall. I didn't get to see it because I 0:14:14.116 --> 0:14:16.116 was at like track practice or something. By the time 0:14:16.116 --> 0:14:20.356 I got home it was like already off. So I 0:14:20.476 --> 0:14:23.796 called the news station and got the video and then 0:14:23.836 --> 0:14:25.516 I saw it. I like for people to see me 0:14:25.556 --> 0:14:27.436 and laughed. I don't care if you're laughing at me 0:14:27.516 --> 0:14:30.796 or with me, as long as you're laughing right. And 0:14:30.836 --> 0:14:35.716 I was like beaming from ear to ear, like wow, 0:14:35.796 --> 0:14:37.716 I thought I looked pretty. I thought I looked a 0:14:37.716 --> 0:14:41.916 little weird, but it was really cool. When Tiffany turns eighteen, 0:14:42.396 --> 0:14:44.956 she's out of the foster care system and on her own. 0:14:45.516 --> 0:14:47.996 She's got nowhere to go, so she starts living out 0:14:48.036 --> 0:14:51.476 of her car, a car she's now immortalized in her 0:14:51.516 --> 0:14:53.836 stand up routine. And I used to be my little 0:14:53.876 --> 0:14:56.636 Geo Metro. That ship was packed out, but I was 0:14:56.676 --> 0:14:59.396 class with mine. I slept in real nice places. I 0:14:59.476 --> 0:15:04.436 lived in Beverly Hills Beach, kept it classic. Police will 0:15:04.516 --> 0:15:06.716 come every morning about seven. They would make me move. 0:15:06.916 --> 0:15:08.516 It was like an alarm clocket. Was cool. I was like, 0:15:08.516 --> 0:15:11.996 that's why I pay taxes, Thank you police. I'd only 0:15:11.996 --> 0:15:14.916 ever heard the stand up version of Tiffany's story about 0:15:14.956 --> 0:15:19.636 being homeless. I wanted to hear the real life one. Yeah, 0:15:19.636 --> 0:15:22.996 I get emancipated and I get homeless. And I have 0:15:23.036 --> 0:15:26.156 to figure out how I'm gonna survive. So I was 0:15:26.276 --> 0:15:28.836 doing the Bermitsist, but that wasn't really paying. I'm just 0:15:28.956 --> 0:15:31.796 doing comedy shows, but that's like twenty dollars to ten 0:15:31.836 --> 0:15:34.756 dollars a show. That's not really enough to survive one. 0:15:35.276 --> 0:15:38.236 So I got a job working in customer service at 0:15:38.236 --> 0:15:41.556 an airline, and then I kind of moved around from 0:15:41.596 --> 0:15:44.116 airline the airline, and I was there for some years, 0:15:44.756 --> 0:15:47.436 and then I got depressed and I ended up in 0:15:47.516 --> 0:15:50.756 psychiatric therapy because I had stopped doing stand up altogether. 0:15:51.316 --> 0:15:54.116 And my therapist was like, what makes you happy? What 0:15:54.276 --> 0:15:57.236 makes you feel good? And I'm like, hearing people laugh, 0:15:57.436 --> 0:16:01.276 seeing people's smiles, that makes me feel good. And she's like, 0:16:01.316 --> 0:16:03.156 why don't you get back into stand up as like 0:16:03.236 --> 0:16:07.196 a hobby? You know the psychiatrist story. I almost feel 0:16:07.196 --> 0:16:11.316 like you're underselling it because you're telling these stories to 0:16:11.396 --> 0:16:17.236 your psychiatrist and she cannot shop cracking up. Oh my gosh, 0:16:17.236 --> 0:16:20.236 she made me sum. She wouldn't laugh at everything exactly, 0:16:20.916 --> 0:16:24.836 laughing at everything, like you are so funny that a 0:16:24.996 --> 0:16:28.636 trained mental health professional who's trying to give you counsel 0:16:28.996 --> 0:16:31.916 cannot keep her shit together. I mean, it's a show 0:16:31.996 --> 0:16:34.556 not tell situation. It's like, Tiffany, I don't need to 0:16:34.596 --> 0:16:37.276 tell you to become a comedian at this point. Right, 0:16:37.756 --> 0:16:40.036 she was right? So you so you have this big 0:16:40.036 --> 0:16:42.316 turning point. Right, So the psychiatrist says, hey, this is 0:16:42.636 --> 0:16:44.236 you know, this is what you love. Just give it 0:16:44.276 --> 0:16:48.196 a try. What is it about being on stage and 0:16:48.276 --> 0:16:53.556 performing that really speaks to you while I feel safe? Right? 0:16:53.676 --> 0:16:56.716 And it's like, if anybody's gonna try to hurt you, 0:16:57.596 --> 0:17:03.596 they can't because you have witnesses. That's what you have, witnesses. Right, 0:17:03.956 --> 0:17:07.836 If somebody tries to do something, at least one person 0:17:07.916 --> 0:17:11.476 in that room will be like, that's not right, stop it, 0:17:12.236 --> 0:17:15.156 or I got your back, tipp for me. I'll confess 0:17:15.356 --> 0:17:19.756 for you. It is really striking, and I think it 0:17:19.756 --> 0:17:23.596 says everything about your story that you sought physical safety 0:17:23.636 --> 0:17:25.956 on stage, right. I mean you hear all these performers 0:17:26.036 --> 0:17:29.156 say being on stage, that's right, comfort zone, and that's 0:17:29.156 --> 0:17:30.916 where I feel most at home. I used to say 0:17:30.916 --> 0:17:33.396 things like that, but we always mean it in a 0:17:33.436 --> 0:17:36.516 metaphorical sense, and I think you know you meet it 0:17:36.556 --> 0:17:41.276 in a physical sense. Yeah, you know you're not alone. 0:17:42.716 --> 0:17:50.876 The immediate, like gratification that I see you, I'm here 0:17:50.916 --> 0:17:55.036 with you, We're present, right, Like, that's why I love 0:17:55.076 --> 0:17:59.076 doing live shows. That laughter, it comes right out of 0:17:59.076 --> 0:18:03.156 people's mouths directly to your ears, may bounce off the 0:18:03.196 --> 0:18:06.676 walls and amplify you feel it through your whole soul, 0:18:07.676 --> 0:18:15.116 Like it is the most wonderful drug. For me. It's 0:18:15.156 --> 0:18:18.676 how I get high. It soothed me, and I don't 0:18:18.716 --> 0:18:21.796 know why. That's my soothing thing, even like if I 0:18:21.796 --> 0:18:25.796 get really depressed, that's my medicine. You're not that question. 0:18:25.836 --> 0:18:27.876 I said, if you can have any superpower, what would 0:18:27.876 --> 0:18:31.116 it be. I have it. I have a superpower, and 0:18:31.156 --> 0:18:36.316 it's to control people's happiness. Right. If I could control 0:18:36.396 --> 0:18:40.076 people's happiness, like if I step in a room and 0:18:40.156 --> 0:18:44.756 everybody lights up, everybody gets joyous, that's a really good thing. 0:18:45.276 --> 0:18:47.236 And then you could I feel like you could dominate 0:18:47.316 --> 0:18:49.556 the whole world with that, Like you could rule the world. 0:18:49.836 --> 0:18:57.116 And so am I a superhero? Yes? That's why. After 0:18:57.156 --> 0:19:01.156 the break, Tiffany talks about processing all the change she's 0:19:01.196 --> 0:19:04.756 been through. We'll be right back with a slight change 0:19:04.756 --> 0:19:16.236 of plans. I'm maya Shunker and we're back with a 0:19:16.276 --> 0:19:19.116 slight change of plants, and as a heads up, we're 0:19:19.116 --> 0:19:21.516 going to be talking about sexual assault at a moment. 0:19:22.756 --> 0:19:25.756 Tiffany's gone through so many changes in her life, using 0:19:25.796 --> 0:19:28.676 comedy as a tool over and over again to survive. 0:19:29.516 --> 0:19:32.036 But are there times where comedy's fallen short for her 0:19:32.476 --> 0:19:36.036 when life is simply too dark to laugh about. For example, 0:19:36.116 --> 0:19:38.956 when Tiffany was twenty, she said her stepfather told her 0:19:38.996 --> 0:19:41.156 he had cut the break lines on her mom's car 0:19:41.276 --> 0:19:44.116 before the accident in order to try and kill her 0:19:44.116 --> 0:19:48.596 family and collect life insurance. You learned as an adult 0:19:48.676 --> 0:19:51.156 that your mom's car accident may not have actually been 0:19:51.196 --> 0:19:54.196 an accident after all. Can you tell me more about that? 0:19:54.876 --> 0:19:58.956 I just I g it makes that makes me so 0:19:59.156 --> 0:20:01.676 mad when I think, like, I get really upset about it. 0:20:02.316 --> 0:20:03.956 But at the same time I can find a funny 0:20:03.996 --> 0:20:06.956 any Like this guy was a sniper. He was in 0:20:07.076 --> 0:20:08.876 the you know, he was in a military. His job 0:20:08.996 --> 0:20:12.476 was to kill people. That's such a job and he 0:20:12.556 --> 0:20:15.276 wasn't obviously wasn't that good at it. Because we're still 0:20:15.316 --> 0:20:19.436 all alive, Like, you know what, I can't find the 0:20:19.516 --> 0:20:21.876 funny what I have still yet to be able to 0:20:21.916 --> 0:20:24.716 find to be able to make funny. And I have 0:20:24.876 --> 0:20:29.556 tried many times, and I just I'm not capable of 0:20:29.596 --> 0:20:32.796 it because I feel like there's it's kind of impossible, 0:20:32.916 --> 0:20:36.756 but maybe it's but anything it's possible. But I can't 0:20:36.796 --> 0:20:42.756 find being raped. Yeah, I tried. I try to tell 0:20:42.916 --> 0:20:45.596 like I tried to tell myself when it happened to me, 0:20:45.716 --> 0:20:48.236 Like I tried to tell myself what it means. That 0:20:48.276 --> 0:20:54.036 means you're sexy, you're beautiful, you're irresistible. Girl, look at 0:20:54.116 --> 0:20:57.356 shit Like That's not funny though, but that is how 0:20:57.476 --> 0:21:04.236 I was able to process it. There's nothing I can't 0:21:04.316 --> 0:21:10.796 find nothing about like I was robbed and there's no 0:21:11.316 --> 0:21:14.836 redemption in it. There's no recovery of what was right, 0:21:14.996 --> 0:21:20.516 Like you can never get that back. I would like 0:21:20.556 --> 0:21:22.196 to figure out a way to make it funny so 0:21:22.236 --> 0:21:24.956 people can heal from it. And I'm so grateful to 0:21:24.956 --> 0:21:27.916 people that are willing to share their stories, because when 0:21:27.956 --> 0:21:31.916 you share your experience in your story, you have no 0:21:31.996 --> 0:21:35.276 idea who you are healing, who you are helping, who 0:21:35.396 --> 0:21:40.756 you are uplifting. Another thing that struck me about your 0:21:41.756 --> 0:21:45.636 life is that you've lived two starkly different lives in 0:21:45.716 --> 0:21:50.356 one lifetime. Right. So as a child, you're neglected, you're undervalued, 0:21:50.876 --> 0:21:54.596 and now you live in a world where even strangers 0:21:54.596 --> 0:21:57.076 will run up to you and say, oh my god, Tiffany, 0:21:57.116 --> 0:21:58.716 I love you so much. They want to hug you. 0:21:58.756 --> 0:22:02.876 And like, what is it like to have lived both 0:22:02.916 --> 0:22:08.716 of these lives within one lifetime? Yeah, but both lives 0:22:08.796 --> 0:22:13.196 are the same in a fucked up way, like right, 0:22:13.236 --> 0:22:15.916 Like so like here I am an adult and and 0:22:16.556 --> 0:22:18.316 people are telling me they love me, which is what 0:22:18.396 --> 0:22:20.476 I wanted as a kid. I wanted that love as 0:22:20.476 --> 0:22:25.676 a child. Did I want the whole world's love? No? Right, 0:22:25.716 --> 0:22:30.076 I wanted my father's love. I want my grandmother's love. 0:22:30.756 --> 0:22:36.236 I want my mom's love. Is your mom better today? 0:22:36.956 --> 0:22:40.756 So we um? Well, I got my money together, I 0:22:40.796 --> 0:22:43.436 got her out of the mental institution. I got her 0:22:43.476 --> 0:22:49.036 the best doctors, best therapist, psychiatric therapists, and like when 0:22:49.036 --> 0:22:53.676 she comes to my house, the it's like the communication 0:22:53.836 --> 0:22:55.836 is so much better. That first year that she was 0:22:55.876 --> 0:22:58.556 out of the institution, it was a little shaky there 0:22:59.036 --> 0:23:01.756 and there was a little bit of or I think 0:23:01.756 --> 0:23:05.196 I'm gonna find my mom again going on, and what 0:23:05.316 --> 0:23:07.196 you have to realize what I realized now, it is 0:23:07.236 --> 0:23:11.916 an adult is when people are hurting. If they're hurt, 0:23:12.316 --> 0:23:16.316 you can only give them. It doesn't matter if you 0:23:16.396 --> 0:23:22.476 give them your whole soul. They have to heal on 0:23:22.516 --> 0:23:25.996 their own and maybe just a little bit. The little 0:23:26.076 --> 0:23:29.236 laugh that you give them is a little it's enough. 0:23:29.276 --> 0:23:32.116 But they're going to continue to hurt others until they 0:23:32.156 --> 0:23:35.356 stop hurting, and you can't always take that hurt away. 0:23:35.436 --> 0:23:39.716 That's something they have to do. But it's been like 0:23:39.836 --> 0:23:45.036 three years now, so much better. So it's just a 0:23:45.236 --> 0:23:48.356 huge difference. And it's there's glimpses like I could see 0:23:48.396 --> 0:23:54.556 glimpses of my mom pre accident. Wow, Mom, pre accident. 0:23:55.036 --> 0:23:58.876 Do you feel like, um, getting those glimpses today changes 0:23:58.916 --> 0:24:01.076