1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts. 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you. 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and then we'll 6 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 1: get into the episode. 7 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:18,799 Speaker 3: I told my in laws that if they disagree with 8 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 3: my parenting, they should get out. 9 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, get out sugar. 10 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 3: Warning brief mention of and by the way, this comes 11 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 3: from username and if you want to submit your own stories, 12 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 3: go to the our size Okay Storytime subreddit. First off, 13 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 3: I don't think I was in the wrong, which was 14 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:35,279 Speaker 3: infuriated my girlfriend, I twenty five female, recently moved into 15 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 3: my house. My girlfriend twenty seven, and I had a 16 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 3: little house warming her family, my mother, and a few 17 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 3: of our friends. We were eating outdoors and the kids 18 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 3: at there on table. My girlfriend's nephew knocked over and 19 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 3: drinking to loot. 20 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 2: I was at the. 21 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,599 Speaker 3: Table when it happened, and it was clearly an accident. 22 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 3: He is very polite and apologized. He was a little upset, 23 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 3: but I just laughed it off. His father came over 24 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 3: and I was shocked how much his father gave out 25 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 3: on him. I told her it was only an accident, 26 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 3: and he kept going. I felt really guilty for not 27 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 3: stopping it. He ran over to the corner of the 28 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 3: garden and started crying. His father went back to the table, 29 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 3: and he said what happened, and his wife said he 30 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 3: deserved that. He said he should have stayed there a 31 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 3: long time or something along those lines. There was almost 32 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 3: a snicker from someone from their family. Anyways, I went 33 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 3: over to the boy a couple of minutes later, gave 34 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,199 Speaker 3: him a bar of a chocolate and he's still crying. 35 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 3: He said he was sorry again. I gave him a 36 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 3: high five and taught him this high five I used 37 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 3: to do as a kid. His mother came over and said, 38 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 3: do you mind not talking to my son. He needs 39 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 3: to think about what he did wrong and he needs 40 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 3: to do that alone. I took her and her husband aside, 41 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 3: said this is my house. If you want to upset 42 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,759 Speaker 3: your kid, don't do it here. If you don't like it, 43 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 3: then get out. I swear the reaction that followed was insane. 44 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 3: They went back to the table saying it. My mom said, 45 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 3: never holding back. I didn't raise the great son. He 46 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 3: spot on did not let bullies in his house, which 47 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 3: erupted it even more. My girlfriend spoke to me in 48 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 3: private and asked me to apologize to them. I said, no, 49 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 3: I stand by what I said this part. I regret 50 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 3: a bit. I told her I think less of her 51 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 3: for even asking me to apologize. A maid of mine 52 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 3: and his son kicked a ball with the boy and I. 53 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 3: He actually gave me a hug I don't do hugs 54 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 3: at the end of the party and said sorry again. 55 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,680 Speaker 3: He hugged so tightly for a couple of seconds. So 56 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 3: break down. Opie comes with. 57 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 2: The rescue, said, hey, don't worry about spilling a drink. Yeah, 58 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 2: parents are like bad, bad. 59 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 4: But these are the kid's grandparents, the kid's parents. 60 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 3: It's just a kid's parents. Ok So he's having a 61 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 3: birthday party, has okay, the kid's parents are just acting 62 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 3: out all crazy. And then he's like, hey, don't do 63 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 3: this here, Yeah, go do this somewhere else. And then 64 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 3: Opie's mom's like, I didn't raise a great son. Opie's 65 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 3: girlfriend's like, hey, could you like apologize to him? I 66 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 3: think to ease attention, okay, And he's like, I'm not 67 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 3: going to do that, and I think less of you. 68 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,639 Speaker 3: Because of it, and then the kid gave him a hug. 69 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,639 Speaker 3: That's what happened during this party. 70 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 4: Okay, I actually have mixed opinions on that. Then I'm 71 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 4: not gonna lie. 72 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 2: Really, what do you think you did wrong? 73 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 4: I don't think like I think defending the kid ten 74 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 4: out of ten. But I do agree that maybe you should. 75 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 4: I shouldn't parent someone else's kid. 76 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:05,079 Speaker 2: I think it was the long belines, don't. 77 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 4: I know it's because it was in Op's house. So 78 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 4: he's like, y'all can't do that here. Yeah. 79 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, and they shouldn't. 80 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 4: Be yelling at the kid. But like, it's tricky. 81 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 3: It is tricky. It is tricky for sure. I see 82 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 3: what he's doing here. Yeah, what he said it was girlfriend, 83 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 3: Come on, but he's a man of house. 84 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 2: He's trying to be like it was my house. 85 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 4: Trying to set a good He's like, this is how 86 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,679 Speaker 4: all ray's my kids exactly. 87 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 3: I could really go on about all the drama, but 88 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 3: in short, her family thought I was in the wrong. 89 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 3: I was getting little digs, et cetera. My girlfriend's friend 90 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,839 Speaker 3: came up to me privately and said I was right 91 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 3: to step in. My girlfriend is still pushing for me 92 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 3: to apologize. I still don't think I did anything wrong. 93 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 3: I didn't tell them how to parent, but I told 94 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 3: them to leave if that's how they want to parent. 95 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 3: If I'm being completely honest, I didn't say this. I'm 96 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 3: not sure i'd want a kid with a family like that. 97 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 3: Argue over spilling effing flavored water. While there's so many 98 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 3: messages apologies, I can't respond to them all. Here are 99 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 3: some of the common ants. Two responses agreed that must 100 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 3: be what they're like in private. Snigger is a word, 101 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 3: at least in the UK. My mother is the best 102 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 3: friend of any kid could have had. Yeah, puts a 103 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 3: big hole in my future with my girlfriend comments, I'm 104 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 3: a girl man in my forties. With my own children, 105 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,119 Speaker 3: I still flinch when I spill or break a dish. 106 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 3: No one has yelled at me or physically punished me 107 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 3: for such things since I left home at eighteen, Yet lingers. 108 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 3: When my kids spill or break I calmly ask if 109 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 3: they are hurt. If they aren't, they help clean up 110 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 3: the spill. If it's a break, I remove them from 111 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 3: the glass danger and clean up myself my kids. I've 112 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 3: never flinched in fear over a spill. No child should 113 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 3: another response, not the a hole always put trash in 114 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 3: their place. You are in the right about everything, my bro. 115 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 3: You are much more of a man than most people 116 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 3: twice your age. If you marry into a family like that, well, 117 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 3: don't complain later. True, this is something hard I'm thinking about. 118 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 3: I'm not against giving out. There are times when it's 119 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,039 Speaker 3: probably unnecessary, but if someone did that to my future 120 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 3: kid over something so small, I'll be an effing nightmare. 121 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,039 Speaker 4: That's what I agree for that if it's your kid 122 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 4: one hundred percent. Oh my god, yell at the person. 123 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 3: Yeah with the girlfriend said, hey, could you apologize to him? 124 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 4: Yeah? I don't agree. The girlfriend was probably also in 125 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 4: the wrong. I don't think he should have parented their 126 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 4: kid to that extent, But I also don't think people 127 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 4: should be coming to him like, well you shouldn't have 128 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 4: done that. 129 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,160 Speaker 2: Come on, it's my house. Yeah, I'm yelling over him 130 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 2: over a spilled water. 131 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 4: You can say don't do it here, but you can't 132 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 4: be like, this is how to parent your child. 133 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 2: Oh, maybe you should teach people how to parent the kids. 134 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 2: I've done that to my aunt. She loves it. 135 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 4: Does she? 136 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 3: Actually no, she hates it. Balls bar Ranch says, not 137 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 3: the ah. You don't realize you can't have a kid 138 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 3: with your girlfriend now. She supports this behavior, thanks, it's 139 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,040 Speaker 3: acceptable and will do it with her own children. If 140 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 3: you have children with her, those are its grandparents. They 141 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 3: will treat your future child the same way, and she 142 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 3: will always let it happen. Op he says, Honestly, that's 143 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,279 Speaker 3: really what's going on through my head more than anything. 144 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 3: Even my girlfriend doesn't seem to have had much too 145 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 3: of an issue of it. And that is all the comments. 146 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 3: I'm gonna get to the update update two months later. 147 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 3: This isn't ama they old, but a bit of a RAMT. 148 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 3: Not sure if manny remember my girlfriend's nephews spilled flavored 149 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 3: water and my housewarming and crapit fanned. That happened about 150 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 3: two months ago. Not long after I made the post, 151 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 3: my girlfriend and I broke up. Honestly, the more I 152 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 3: thought about the situation, the more it annoyed me. Wednesday evening, 153 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 3: my ex called me and asked me to come over. 154 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 2: I went over. 155 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 3: I thought she might want to try and get back together, 156 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 3: but that wasn't it. She was looking after her nephew 157 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 3: for a few nights and noticed a mark on his arm, 158 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 3: but he didn't want to talk about it. She wasn't 159 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 3: so sure who he turned to, but she got in 160 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 3: touch with me. 161 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I was worried about. 162 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, that seems like that. Who do you go to 163 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 2: in the scenario in a wellness check? 164 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 4: The wellness check? Yeah, if you can get the kid 165 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 4: to say, because that becomes real tricky, you want to 166 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 4: alert someone. I don't know if you'd go right to 167 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 4: CPS for that. 168 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 2: Or not, but this is tricky. 169 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 5: This is ugh. 170 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 2: I don't like this. 171 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 4: This makes me like you were way more in the 172 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,679 Speaker 4: right for stepping in at the party. 173 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. 174 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 3: I spent a bit of time playing football with him 175 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 3: and gently asked him about the mart I first did 176 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 3: it say much and got a little upset, so I 177 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 3: reassured him it wasn't in any kind of trouble. After 178 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 3: a while, he quietly mentioned it happened during a moment 179 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 3: with his dad when he got really upset. He said 180 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 3: it wasn't something that normally happens, and I believe him. 181 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 3: I told my ax. She said she shocked. I don't 182 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 3: think it was shocking, she said she can't ring social 183 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 3: services and ask if I would, so I rang them. 184 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 3: They will take it seriously once his parents are home 185 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 3: from their holiday. Apparently, poor little lad and top caregiver 186 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 3: thirteen says, you absolutely did the right thing by calling, 187 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 3: even it was just once. A child being hit like 188 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 3: that is never acceptable. Hopefully this leads to proper intervintion. Hope, 189 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 3: he says. 190 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 2: Thanks. 191 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 3: Honestly, it was the other stuff he said that worried me. 192 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 3: And another commenter says, and we know from the first 193 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 3: post the way they treat their son is horrible and 194 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 3: feels like emotional to me, and now it's escalating to physical. 195 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 3: You absolutely did the right thing, OPI. I hope you 196 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 3: plan on having kids one day, because I think you're 197 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 3: going to be a wonderful father. Opie says. It was 198 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 3: the emotional stuff that really was the issue. The behavior 199 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 3: she was saying was just wasn't right. 200 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:12,559 Speaker 2: Haha. 201 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 3: I go back and forth on kids. I probably won't, 202 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 3: but I'm not sure be his dad. Oh my gosh, 203 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 3: get back with that X and be his dad. 204 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 4: That's true too, because we didn't get the full context 205 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 4: with what they were saying. When the kids spilled the drink, 206 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 4: I was just picturing like over the top, like how 207 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 4: could you spill that drink kind of thing, which like 208 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 4: is not great but better than like what they probably 209 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 4: were saying. 210 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 2: Oh gosh. 211 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 3: Overshare seventy four says, I think whatever decision you make, 212 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 3: you'll thrive in. You'll definitely sound like you'd be a 213 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 3: stellar parent. But that doesn't mean you have to be 214 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 3: wont I wash you both and this kid the best. 215 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 3: He deserves so much better than the cars he's been dealt. 216 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 3: Thank you for doing what was right and protecting him. 217 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 3: You're a good person, Opie and hope, he says to 218 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,559 Speaker 3: this other commenter. If you were able, give that kid 219 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 3: your number, tell him to ride it in a shoe 220 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 3: or something so that he has it with him. Tell 221 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 3: him he can call you anytime he feels unsafe. Be 222 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 3: sure he knows that. All you may be able to 223 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 3: do is talk with him. But you won't yell at him, 224 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 3: and you will listen you can't. If you can do that, 225 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 3: if you are emotionally able to make that effort, you 226 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 3: will have changed that kid's life. He may never call, 227 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 3: He may just call to check in with you that 228 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 3: you will answer, but he will always know that there 229 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 3: was someone who thought he did not deserve to be 230 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 3: left alone. Hope, he says, true, he doesn't have a 231 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 3: phone or anything yet. I told him I probably won't 232 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,839 Speaker 3: see him that often. But next thing they do or 233 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 3: say something, tell your aunt or a teacher. 234 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 2: They will help you. 235 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 3: If you do ever see me, tell me that kind 236 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 3: of thing too. Ope, he says to another commenter, I 237 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 3: suggest you don't give him your contact number unless you 238 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,679 Speaker 3: really want to. You did the right thing. She is 239 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 3: now your ex and that plays it to the dynamics. 240 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 3: Don't feel guilted into feeling an ongoing responsibility if you 241 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 3: want to remove yourself from that family dynamic. Just a 242 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 3: reminder that whatever you choose to do is right for you. 243 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 3: Take care, dude. 244 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 2: Honestly, I think you should be a role model on 245 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 2: this kid's life. 246 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 4: I think it'd be great. Yeah, if you're coming people, 247 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 4: given him your number, do it, dude. 248 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 2: For sure? 249 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 3: I mean, like I like that one commenter. Even if 250 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 3: he doesn't call you, he will always know, and it's. 251 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,839 Speaker 4: The having that, like you're a support system. I don't know, 252 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 4: just talk to yeah. 253 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 3: Hope, he says, I have no issue with giving him 254 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 3: my number, but he doesn't have access to a phone 255 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 3: to ring me. I have no problem getting involved. He's 256 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 3: a lovely little lad and sometimes has to speak up. 257 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 3: My ex and I are pretty amicable. I don't want 258 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,439 Speaker 3: that family as my family, but I have no qualms 259 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 3: about getting involved as an outsider, if that makes sense. 260 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. 261 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,719 Speaker 4: I stood up to my sister in law's husband and 262 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 4: it tore the family apart. 263 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,679 Speaker 2: As sometimes you stand up, everybody sits down. 264 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 4: I can't sleep because I'm so distraught over this whole situation. 265 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 4: My husband and I are currently fighting with my sister 266 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 4: in law and her husband. I am twenty five female, 267 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 4: my husband is twenty seven male. Sister in law is 268 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 4: thirty nine female. Brother in law is forty two male. 269 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from skiff Key on the 270 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,640 Speaker 4: r slide to hot take subreddit, and if you want 271 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash 272 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 4: okay storytime subreddit. So this all started about three months ago. 273 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 4: Context my sister in law and her husband leased out 274 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,839 Speaker 4: a property for an auto shop. Connected to the shop 275 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 4: was a house that they weren't going to use. Sister 276 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 4: in law offered to rent it to us because it 277 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 4: was closer to the town where I went to school 278 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 4: and where my hobby worked. Okay, I was against this 279 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,440 Speaker 4: idea initially because I don't like the idea of mixing 280 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:32,319 Speaker 4: family and finances. I eventually agreed after my husband assured 281 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,600 Speaker 4: me that it wouldn't be an issue. We moved in 282 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,319 Speaker 4: shortly after our wedding in September of twenty twenty three. 283 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:43,079 Speaker 4: Fast forward to three months ago, a mysterious wet spot 284 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 4: showed up on our living room floor. I texted my 285 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 4: sister in law's husband to tell him about it and 286 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 4: send him a picture. He told me he would reach 287 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 4: out to the landlord about it. A few more weeks 288 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 4: went by, and I sent several more texts and pictures 289 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 4: of the growing wet spot on the floor. I couldn't 290 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 4: see any leaks from the ceiling, dishwasher, fridge, et cetera. 291 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 4: One day, I was out getting groceries, hubby was at work, 292 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 4: and I got a desperate and angry sounding text from 293 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,559 Speaker 4: my sister in law's husband. He was talking about how 294 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 4: the leak was way worse than he thought, and he 295 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 4: reprimanded me for not explaining the severity enough. I guess. 296 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 4: He then sent an ominous threat, saying things are going 297 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 4: to be changing around here. I get home and our 298 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 4: kitchen is torn apart. He threw everything under the sink 299 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 4: all over the floor and left the cabinet doors open. 300 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 4: I was livid, Yeah. 301 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, because what destroying your apartment? That might be his 302 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,600 Speaker 2: apartment and it's not clearly it's this is all messed up. 303 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 2: We needed a contract, we needed terms. From the very beginning. 304 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 4: Is he trying to like stage a break in? 305 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 2: I don't know what he's trying to do. Was he 306 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 2: maybe trying to find the leak? He got frustrated and left, 307 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 2: like what's going on? 308 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 4: The leak's in the living room, though. I took a 309 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 4: picture of the chaos and sent it to him, saying, 310 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 4: I don't worry, we will be moving out. Thanks for this. 311 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 4: By the way, I was trying to calm myself down 312 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 4: when he walked into the house and said, you really 313 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 4: want to f with me right now? 314 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 5: What? 315 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 4: I was already crying and shaking, And he started yelling 316 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 4: about how the leak could be thousands of dollars worth 317 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 4: of damage, yet do fish That's. 318 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 2: Why I texted you about it three weeks ago. 319 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 4: Then he started talking about everything wrong in his life, 320 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 4: and he admitted that they weren't going to renew the lease, 321 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 4: so we were going to have to move out anyway, okay, 322 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 4: and he didn't want to have to tell me all 323 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 4: this this way, YadA, YadA YadA. At the end, he 324 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,680 Speaker 4: calmed down and apologized for being so intense and snapping 325 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 4: at me. I forgave him, thinking that this was just 326 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 4: an out of character breakdown from a stressed out dude. 327 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 4: My husband was also upset about the situation, but chose 328 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,680 Speaker 4: not to press the subject anymore and just find a 329 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,839 Speaker 4: new place to live. I thought it was over after that, 330 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 4: but I was very wrong. Fast forward to two weeks ago. 331 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 4: We found a place and decided to move everything ourselves 332 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 4: with our friends. We didn't want to ask our in 333 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,319 Speaker 4: laws to help because the situation still felt tense. Sister 334 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,920 Speaker 4: in law's husband had been acting a bit distant, but 335 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 4: still cordial. There were a few pieces of furniture we 336 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 4: wanted to sell, and sister in law had said we 337 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,440 Speaker 4: could leave it there while we sold it. I double 338 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 4: checked with sister in law's husband that it was okay 339 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 4: that we did that. 340 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 2: Writing, yeah, things, writing everything in writing. 341 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,240 Speaker 4: He shrugged and said he couldn't see why it would 342 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 4: be a problem. Spoiler, of course it was an effing problem. 343 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 4: We sold one item and hubby asked sister in law 344 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,400 Speaker 4: if the person could just go grab it and she 345 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 4: could venmo us so we didn't have to go all 346 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 4: the way back out to the old place. She said 347 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 4: that was fine. The house was empty beside stuff we 348 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 4: didn't want anymore, and there was no access between the 349 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 4: house and the shop except a locked door way at 350 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 4: the back of the house. In hindsight, I know this 351 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 4: is still risky, but I'm from the Midwest and far 352 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 4: too trusting. 353 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 2: Ah good mid Western trust mead West. 354 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 4: A few days later, someone wanted another piece of furniture. 355 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 4: I asked sister in law's husband if he could unlock 356 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 4: the door so the person could look at the furniture. 357 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 4: He asked if I was going to let someone in 358 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 4: without physically being there. I responded saying that was my plan, 359 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 4: but if he preferred, I could definitely go out there. 360 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 4: He responded with an angry text, saying I don't like 361 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 4: being forced and volunteered to do things while I'm working, 362 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 4: and I don't need people lurking around my business that 363 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 4: I don't know. My stomach dropped, but I just responded, Okay, 364 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I'll go out there to meet him. No 365 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 4: issue whatever, This has become a non issue. 366 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 2: Just hey, we had a conversation. You said, don't do this. 367 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 2: I said, okay, I'll do it the other way. 368 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 4: Yeah. 369 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 2: Right, How is this guy going to make this an issue? 370 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 4: When I got there, I tried to open the door 371 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 4: I usually go in, but there was a piece of 372 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 4: wood blocking it closed. I went to the side door 373 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 4: and use the code, but that wouldn't open it either. 374 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 4: I texted sister in law's husband to ask if he 375 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 4: had changed the door code. He never responded. I tried 376 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 4: the shop door and the code also didn't work. I 377 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 4: knocked with no answer. The buyer was there waiting while 378 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 4: all of this was happening. I called my hobby to 379 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 4: ask him to come down and try to figure it out. 380 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 4: He tried the code on the back of the shop 381 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 4: and a door finally opened. I went to the door 382 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 4: that connected the two buildings to get into my old 383 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 4: house while my husband went to meet me at the 384 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 4: front door. Then my sister in law's husband appeared. 385 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 2: Like a wild pokemon in tall grass. 386 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 4: He'd been just waiting, watching them, like, when will you 387 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 4: get the door? 388 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 2: Was he inside the whole time? I feel like he 389 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 2: was just sitting. 390 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 4: There waiting for them to try every possible door. Oh yeah, 391 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 4: here we go. He had been in the shop the 392 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 4: whole time. He started yelling at me that I should 393 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 4: have communicated with him. I responded that I had texted, 394 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 4: and he yelled that he was working and busy. He 395 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 4: tried to keep yelling, but I just got into the 396 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 4: house to let my husband in. We just gave the 397 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 4: buyer the desk since he had to wait so long. 398 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 4: This time, my husband defended me to his sister and 399 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 4: said he wouldn't tolerate her husband yelling at me anymore. 400 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 4: A fight ensued, and I started a group chap for 401 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 4: the four of us, asking if we could all sit 402 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 4: down and talk about this because things were getting out 403 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 4: of hand, way out of hand. 404 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have an idea. Just don't let the brother 405 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 2: in law be the point man for any of this. 406 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 4: Everybody else was okay with this happening. 407 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 2: He is the only guy consistently losing his cool. 408 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 4: Yeah. Sister in law suggested we wait a few days 409 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 4: for things to settle. Yesterday, we went with my husband's 410 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 4: parents to pack up a few pieces of furniture that 411 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 4: were left. They said they would keep it until we 412 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,120 Speaker 4: sold it off. I was gonna say, get the rest 413 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 4: of your stuff out of there. Yeah, when we got there, 414 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,399 Speaker 4: the rest of our stuff had been put outside. I 415 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 4: chose to take the high road and not say anything 416 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 4: about that. I texted sister in law to see what 417 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 4: our nieces wanted for their birthday. She seemed fine and 418 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 4: told me what the girls liked and wanted. I bought 419 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 4: the presents and wrapped them. I asked my husband when 420 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,640 Speaker 4: I got home from work today when we should drop 421 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 4: off the presents. He told me that he had called 422 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 4: his mom earlier and she was at the girl's birthday party. 423 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 4: What sister in law hadn't invited us or her other 424 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,679 Speaker 4: brother and nephews for any of it. I know my 425 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:06,359 Speaker 4: husband is hurting inside. He has been to every single 426 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 4: one of their birthdays. He's trying to put on a 427 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,160 Speaker 4: brave face. But if I'm distraught over not seeing our nieces, 428 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,439 Speaker 4: then I can't even imagine how he's feeling. 429 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is messed up at this point. I have 430 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 2: a theory on I feel like it's because the brother 431 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 2: in law and the sister in law are like a 432 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:27,119 Speaker 2: decade older. Yeah, and maybe, like they're clearly whatever, they're 433 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 2: not renewing the least for the spot that they have 434 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 2: their business, so maybe that's not going very well. And 435 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 2: then they're seeing Ope and her husband and maybe they're 436 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 2: thriving a little bit. And I bet you this is 437 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 2: coming from that more than anything. That's my suspicion. 438 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 4: I'm kind of wondering if she just feels like, oh, well, 439 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 4: I'm gonna support him because he's my husband kind of thing, 440 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,720 Speaker 4: and he's kind of the ring master of this all. 441 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, from what you said though, which sounds like you 442 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 2: shouldn't because he has no composure. 443 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, what do I do? I know standing up for 444 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,400 Speaker 4: myself was the right thing to do, but I can't 445 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,639 Speaker 4: help but feel like I contributed to my husband and 446 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,639 Speaker 4: sister in law's relationship crumbling. Please help, We do have 447 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 4: another update. But how are you feeling now? Oh boy? 448 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,240 Speaker 2: Oh, I don't think you need to feel responsible for this, 449 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 2: because you can't be responsible for how you know, the 450 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 2: sister in law and the brother in law conduct themselves. 451 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:23,439 Speaker 4: Like, yeah, that's their own relationship, Yours is clearly doing good. Yeah, 452 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 4: then missing out on the nieces as a bummer. But 453 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,120 Speaker 4: that's like their parents need. 454 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 2: To get over that, right, It's not. It has nothing 455 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 2: to do with you, guys. It's their decision. Yeah, and 456 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,679 Speaker 2: it's based on stuff that's really not your fault. 457 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,479 Speaker 4: So maybe you could take them out for like their 458 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 4: own special birthday thing, give them their little gift. 459 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 2: But yeah, that's probably a good idea. 460 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,199 Speaker 4: Edit to clear a few things up. The landlord was 461 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,640 Speaker 4: not upset about the leak incident. He sent a guy 462 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 4: out after brother in law explain the severity of the issue. 463 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 4: Turns out the dishwasher was leaking under the subflooring in 464 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,640 Speaker 4: the kitchen and creating the wet spot on the carpet. 465 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 4: He apologized for not taking it seriously at the time 466 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,000 Speaker 4: and offered to get the carpets cleaned for us. But 467 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,679 Speaker 4: I had wanted to shampooer for a while, so I 468 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 4: just cleaned it up myself. 469 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:05,080 Speaker 6: Two. 470 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,920 Speaker 4: Yes, I was wrong for assuming it would be fine 471 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 4: if I wasn't there for the furniture thing. I'm definitely 472 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 4: not claiming that was a smart move. It was a 473 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,679 Speaker 4: very dumb, lazy move in fact, which is why I 474 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 4: was willing to eat the angry text. I immediately apologized 475 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 4: and got in my car to meet the buyer instead. 476 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 4: I also apologized to the buyer for not coordinating well 477 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 4: enough when I couldn't get into the house. I told 478 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 4: him that I understood if he wanted to leave, but 479 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 4: he was very cool about it all and stuck around. 480 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 4: I gave him the dresser for free for his troubles. 481 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 4: We have some comments. Comment one. I don't know if 482 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 4: I have any great advice for what you should do, 483 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 4: but what you shouldn't do is contact your sister in 484 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 4: law's husband ever again, or allow yourself to be alone 485 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 4: with him. He seems dangerous and unhinged, and I cannot 486 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 4: imagine how he's treating your sister in law and niece's 487 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 4: behind closed doors. If this is how he's conducting himself 488 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 4: with you, this is not your fault, and they're handling 489 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 4: the bad situation poorly, and your sister in law is 490 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 4: allowing her husband to call the shots and affect the 491 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 4: relationship with her brother and you. I'm sorry your husband 492 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 4: is devastated, but I'm sure he's not blaming you unless 493 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 4: he's a rational too. And the only blame worthy party 494 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 4: here is your sister in law's husband and anyone enabling 495 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 4: this erratic behavior. Hope time and distance ultimately helps things improve. 496 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 4: And hope your sister in law safely gets out of 497 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 4: the relationship with this angry, unpredictable person. Hope he responds yep. 498 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 4: I told my husband I never want to be around 499 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 4: him alone again. What is tripping me up is that 500 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,720 Speaker 4: brother in law and I have had really good conversations. 501 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 4: He's always seemed like a genuinely good guy before this. 502 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 4: They got married around the same time my husband and 503 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 4: I did. Two of the girls are not his. The 504 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 4: youngest one just turned to The girls love him, and 505 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 4: I've seen him be a wonderful dad to them. They 506 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 4: are under a lot of stress, and I wonder if 507 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,720 Speaker 4: I'm just the easy target. He has complained to me 508 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 4: before that sister in law makes decisions without talking to him. 509 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 4: We've had lots of talks about joining in on the 510 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 4: family and the weird quirks they have. I can imagine 511 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,399 Speaker 4: he can't take it out on his wife, or his 512 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 4: wife's brother, or their girls or his in laws, so 513 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 4: maybe he's just taking it out on me. My husband 514 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 4: isn't mad at me at all. He is furious with 515 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 4: his sister and super mad at brother in law. He's 516 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 4: also upset with his parents because they are staying neutral 517 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 4: on the matter, which I get, and then Commoner replies, 518 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,280 Speaker 4: I just want to point out there is no neutral here. 519 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 4: Either they condone the behavior from brother in law or 520 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:24,159 Speaker 4: they don't. Silence and not expressing disappointment is condoning it. 521 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,399 Speaker 4: That's the end of that story. 522 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 2: My boyfriend's parents refuse to attend our wedding. I told 523 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 2: them it would change everything, drag him there. So my 524 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,399 Speaker 2: boyfriend male twenty eight comes from a very religious Catholic 525 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,679 Speaker 2: family Protestant female twenty six and don't know much in 526 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 2: detail about Catholics. My boyfriend is agnostic and has been 527 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 2: since he was sixteen. Since his parents are very strict 528 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 2: and religious, he went over ten years without telling them. 529 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user designer Raccoons sixty 530 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 2: six's one and if you want to submit your own stories, 531 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime suburn it. So sue. 532 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 2: When we got together, they were really upset about me 533 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,960 Speaker 2: not being Catholic and him not picking someone within the faith. 534 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 2: We live together, and that's another thing. They're upset about 535 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:10,360 Speaker 2: living in Sinny. 536 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 4: You're sinning. You're sinning, you're living in sin now. 537 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,160 Speaker 2: The most understandable thing is the baby. I was pregnant 538 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 2: when we met and told him. When I found out 539 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,639 Speaker 2: it was from a previous partner, he decided to stay 540 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 2: and when we marry adopt our baby. This I understand 541 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,560 Speaker 2: his parents being concerned about. I would be too as 542 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 2: a parent. The baby is now the least of the worries, 543 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 2: as everyone has accepted our baby. Now. It's the religion 544 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:38,920 Speaker 2: that's the issue. 545 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 4: I just love that you really hit him with everything. 546 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 4: The religious parents hate. 547 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 2: It's baby out of wedlock, and that's not their sons. 548 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 2: You're not Catholic, you're. 549 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,159 Speaker 4: Living together, you're adopting the baby together. 550 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 2: And low key your boyfriend's secretly not even Catholic anymore. 551 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're gonna be very mad. 552 00:23:58,760 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 4: I'm here for it. 553 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 2: They live in Michigan and we are here on vacation. 554 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 2: My boyfriend decided it was time to tell them the 555 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,879 Speaker 2: truth after Easter, since it's a big deal for Christians, 556 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,400 Speaker 2: even me I am a believer as well. 557 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:11,679 Speaker 5: Well. 558 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,720 Speaker 2: Yesterday he sat down with his parents and told them. 559 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,160 Speaker 2: It didn't go well. His mother cried, and his dad 560 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,200 Speaker 2: went on a lecture and told us what they're unhappy about. 561 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 2: The night before, I had learned that apparently Catholics don't 562 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,680 Speaker 2: go to Protestant weddings if one of the people getting 563 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 2: married isn't a Catholic anymore, and that's why they didn't 564 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,480 Speaker 2: go to his cousin's wedding because it wasn't in a 565 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 2: Catholic church. Them not going would be a big deal 566 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 2: for me and my boyfriend as well. He said he'd 567 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 2: be hurt. Of course he would. His parents aren't gonna 568 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 2: go to his wedding. 569 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 4: Anyone would be hurt about that. Okay, say this was 570 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,480 Speaker 4: him telling them I'm agnostic for since I was sixteen. 571 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 2: I think so. I think everything has been laid on 572 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 2: the table. 573 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 4: The rest of it. 574 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,359 Speaker 2: It's been revealed, Okay, Okay, the truth is on the table. 575 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 2: So I asked them when we get married, would they 576 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 2: be there or not? They said no, oh, because it's 577 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 2: against their faith, and how it's not a valid wedding 578 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 2: because it's not by the church. So I told them 579 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 2: I would have a pastor because I believe in God 580 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 2: and being united under God. They said, it's not a 581 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 2: valid wedding, so one, they would not attend, and that's 582 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,160 Speaker 2: a blow to me. Second, it feels like they are 583 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 2: dismissing our wedding. My boyfriend is hurting and I'm hurting. 584 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 2: I was honest with them and told them it's a 585 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,160 Speaker 2: big deal for me and that if they don't go, 586 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,239 Speaker 2: it will change things for me. His mom asked, what 587 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 2: do you mean. I told her it would change how 588 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,679 Speaker 2: close I am to you guys, it would be a 589 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,160 Speaker 2: while before I'm ready to see you again. His mom 590 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 2: got angry and raised your voice, saying it was unfair 591 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,679 Speaker 2: to say that because it's not about me and it's 592 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 2: about their faith. Saying it's not about her when it's 593 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 2: about her wedding to your son is the most brain 594 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 2: dead logic I've ever seen. This isn't even about you. 595 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 4: All you have to do is show up and watch 596 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,359 Speaker 4: your son get married to someone that he loves, that 597 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 4: you have known for years. 598 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 2: Curly Pop. I told her, I get that, but it 599 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 2: doesn't change the fact that it would hurt me regardless. 600 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,120 Speaker 2: I do understand, but I feel like they're justifying hurting 601 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,119 Speaker 2: us because they're hurting because her son is agnostic and 602 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 2: I'm not Catholic. It insults me because it feels like 603 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 2: I'm being treated like I'm also agnostic. It reminds me 604 00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 2: of my dad with their my way or the highway mentality. 605 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 2: My dad and I don't have a great relationship because 606 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 2: of that. I feel as if we will have to 607 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 2: set up boundaries with them as well. So now I'm 608 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 2: upstairs not wanting to go down because I feel awkward. 609 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 2: I had to go down to make a bottle for 610 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 2: my baby and I told his dad good morning, and 611 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,679 Speaker 2: he didn't say anything back. That could have just been 612 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,879 Speaker 2: him not hearing me. Since knowing this information, it means 613 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,640 Speaker 2: a lot of family won't go due to the religion. 614 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 2: His sister and his brother are very Catholic too. They 615 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 2: are borderline zealous. If I'm being honest, There's much more 616 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 2: I haven't written down, but I don't feel very comfortable. 617 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Way before the 618 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 2: conversation yesterday, I guess what I'm wondering is if I 619 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 2: was out of line for being honest with them about 620 00:26:58,560 --> 00:26:59,280 Speaker 2: how I felt. 621 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 4: No, no, not at all. And I feel like this 622 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,239 Speaker 4: is something that you need to decide now, like you 623 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 4: might lose them in the rest of the relationship. And 624 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 4: if y'all are okay with them just not being part 625 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 4: of your life because of this, or with them trying 626 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,959 Speaker 4: to jump back in after and you're just gonna need 627 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 4: to get over that they missed the wedding. 628 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you know this will end up being 629 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,920 Speaker 2: like an arm's length for a while situation. But you're 630 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 2: not in the wrong for having feelings in expressing them. 631 00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 2: Not a single bit has anyone been in this position? 632 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,720 Speaker 2: And how did it go? And if any of you 633 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,880 Speaker 2: guys are strict Catholics? Is this true? I've never heard 634 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 2: of that until now. And edit, I forgot to say. 635 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 2: My boyfriend wants to elope now and be civil, but 636 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 2: I always wanted a wedding with the families to feel 637 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,560 Speaker 2: special for one day at least. I don't want to elope, 638 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,959 Speaker 2: and I have not told him this year. 639 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 4: I don't think you need to elope. I think you 640 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,800 Speaker 4: can still have the wedding. I think you just need 641 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,719 Speaker 4: to get over the fact that they're not coming. 642 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 2: I would agree. 643 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 4: I don't know religion well enough. Is Protestant a form 644 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,360 Speaker 4: of Christian? Is that why they're so mad? 645 00:27:59,640 --> 00:27:59,920 Speaker 5: Okay? 646 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,160 Speaker 2: But like they're like next door neighbors. 647 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 4: Know. I'm not a theologian, listen, but I dated a 648 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 4: Michigan religious family man once and they were the most 649 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 4: welcoming people ever, to the point where even after we 650 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,680 Speaker 4: broke up, I was in the grandma's like Bible Verse 651 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,679 Speaker 4: group chat for like two extra months. I mean, it 652 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,640 Speaker 4: wasn't Catholics, so maybe that's the difference, but like there 653 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 4: is totally room to go around these like rules of 654 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 4: religion and still support the person, like it doesn't matter, 655 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 4: It shouldn't matter. 656 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really just like they could just be like, well, 657 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 2: you're different than us and we will accept that. And 658 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 2: instead they're like, you need to be exactly the way 659 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 2: we want you to be, and if you don't, then 660 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 2: we won't be there. And that's a power play. But 661 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,960 Speaker 2: there's an update. I female twenty six, had time to 662 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 2: cool down because I was pretty pissed for many different reasons. 663 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 2: I felt insulted because my boyfriend's male twenty eight parents 664 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 2: are Catholic, instead our wedding will be invalid and not real, 665 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 2: and that they want him to be with a Catholic girl, 666 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,840 Speaker 2: and that they aren't going because it's not in a 667 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 2: Catholic church, and it felt insulting to my faith. So 668 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 2: I'm Protestant. My boyfriend is an atheist. I'm going to 669 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 2: well that's an upgrade from agnostic. We're going to have 670 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,040 Speaker 2: a pastor do the ceremony because I still believe in God. 671 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 2: So I went and talked my pastor and he said, 672 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 2: this is rough. And I talked to our town's local priest. 673 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 2: He said, maybe talk and see if they can come 674 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,479 Speaker 2: to the reception. The next day, I talked to our 675 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 2: local priest, great guy by the way, super chatty, just 676 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 2: like me. I told him the situation. He said, because 677 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 2: my boyfriend hasn't been a practicing Catholic for over a decade, 678 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 2: it's not like he's for the first time turning away 679 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 2: from the church. So his parents should use this as 680 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,640 Speaker 2: an opportunity to show him love and grace the church 681 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 2: has and go and to bring a nice gift. He loo, 682 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 2: like I said, he's a good guy. And he said, 683 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,600 Speaker 2: if they don't feel comfortable going to the ceremony, to 684 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 2: come to the reception. My boyfriend told his sister this, 685 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 2: and she said that she still doesn't want to go 686 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,680 Speaker 2: because it's an internal fight, and that they still a 687 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 2: lot of his family is Catholic. Don't think they will 688 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 2: come even if the priest gave the green light. 689 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 4: Nope, don't. They're bad people. Well, automatic, No, you got 690 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,880 Speaker 4: the green light, that was the only thing holding you 691 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:05,880 Speaker 4: back and they told you could go. If you don't go, 692 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 4: you're a bad person. 693 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just like, I don't like it. Now they're 694 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,239 Speaker 2: saying I don't like it, so I don't want to. 695 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, stop throwing your temper tantrum and go to your 696 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 4: son's wedding. 697 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 2: So again I felt hurt and unsupported. I think they're 698 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 2: just using religion as an excuse because they don't want 699 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 2: us to get married. I understand why. If you read 700 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 2: the first post, you'll see why. I'd rather them just 701 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 2: tell me upfront though, and be honest instead of lie 702 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 2: and use religion to lie about it. I feel like 703 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 2: that's hypocritical. Personally, I would rather go no contact, but 704 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,080 Speaker 2: my boyfriend is not willing to do that, so I 705 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,960 Speaker 2: want to at the very least go low contact because 706 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,520 Speaker 2: I know from both sides there will be resentment, miscommunication, 707 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 2: and misunderstandings, and I don't think that's healthy. My boyfriend 708 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 2: and I made a deal so that we can both 709 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,120 Speaker 2: get what we want. He's an atheist, and I want 710 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 2: him to study the Word of Christ, go to classes, 711 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,680 Speaker 2: and ask the questions as to why he doesn't believe. 712 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 2: So he will do the latter and see if he'll 713 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,840 Speaker 2: have a change of heart. If he doesn't, I will 714 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 2: ever pressed the issue, and for me, I will start 715 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,240 Speaker 2: low contact with his family and slowly build a relationship. 716 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 2: And I will also learn the things he does and 717 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 2: find out whether God is real or not. He wants 718 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,960 Speaker 2: me to challenge my beliefs, which I think is valid. No, 719 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,240 Speaker 2: if they're all like, you' all need to be Catholic 720 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 2: or we're not going and then your boyfriend's like you 721 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 2: need to be atheist or you're wrong, I hate all 722 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,920 Speaker 2: of this and you should just be single. 723 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 4: I don't think that the boyfriends saying or you're wrong. 724 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,320 Speaker 4: I think he's just saying, if you're forcing me to 725 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 4: learn your ways, at least hear me out in my ways. 726 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 4: I think that this is turning into just wildly too 727 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 4: much of a like, why are we not just believing 728 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:37,280 Speaker 4: what we believed at the start? 729 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, why don't we just get married right and then 730 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 2: be married and move on? I told him, I can't 731 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,520 Speaker 2: promise a close relationship because I don't know if that 732 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 2: can happen with how his family is. His family and 733 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 2: I are very different. I mean we are different races, 734 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:57,360 Speaker 2: so different cultures and customs. I love to dance and 735 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 2: as Mexicans, we have big parties. His family doesn't do 736 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 2: any of that and see that as sin. They sound 737 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,160 Speaker 2: very fun, So I know we won't be close. But 738 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 2: I promised him a working relationship, and if they grant 739 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,560 Speaker 2: themselves as a deeper connection, I will do the same. 740 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 2: He says he's content with that. We've got a little 741 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,000 Speaker 2: bit more of this story. Let's finish this. I guess 742 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,440 Speaker 2: what I want advice on is if this is the 743 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 2: right way. Should I not force him to try and 744 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 2: learn about God? And should I not try to force 745 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 2: myself into a situation that can go south with his family. 746 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 2: This has made me doubt whether we are compatible because 747 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 2: I know he's very close to his family, and I 748 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 2: think they can get away with anything, and he won't 749 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,720 Speaker 2: change his boundaries with them. I noticed that all the 750 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 2: siblings do that. One just is low contact with them 751 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 2: because of the religion thing. So I wonder if I 752 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 2: should stay or not. But my boyfriend is a wonderful 753 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,720 Speaker 2: person and I love him so much and I really 754 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 2: don't want to leave. Our relationship itself is strong, it's 755 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 2: just the outside sources. My family is uber supportive of him. 756 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 2: I guess any advice to help sort these conflicting feelings 757 00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 2: are welcomed. And that's the end of that story. Hey, 758 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 2: it's John yog Host here. We're gonna get back to 759 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 2: the stories. But he's a quick three minute break of 760 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 2: ass from our sponsors. 761 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 6: My stalker is back, but my husband won't do anything 762 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:09,160 Speaker 6: about it. 763 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 2: Ooh husband bad and trigger. 764 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:12,480 Speaker 7: Warning for stalking. 765 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 6: So I thirty two female and my husband thirty three male, 766 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 6: have been arguing a lot recently over my old stalker. 767 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 6: For some background, back in college, I was twenty four. 768 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,280 Speaker 6: I dated a guy let's call him Fred, for around 769 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 6: two months. Fred was interesting, to say the least. To 770 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 6: save time, he had several red flags once we started dating, 771 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 6: so a dumb dump. Fred acted like he couldn't cure less, 772 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,480 Speaker 6: So I thought that was that. By the way, this 773 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,840 Speaker 6: comes from cardiologist far five two three nine on the 774 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,960 Speaker 6: r slash too. I take subredt it and if you 775 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,000 Speaker 6: wants to submit your own stories, go to the r 776 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 6: slash Okay, storytime subred it. So a few months go 777 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 6: by and I'm starting to see Fred everywhere. I see 778 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,440 Speaker 6: him at the grocery store, I go to my go 779 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 6: to nail place, my favorite restaurants, et cetera. I thought 780 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 6: it was just a weird coincidence, so I left it 781 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 6: at that. A year after our breakup, he starts messaging me, 782 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 6: telling me he was the happiest with me and that 783 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,879 Speaker 6: he misses me so much. I called BS and blocked him. 784 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 6: Then things escalated. Fred changed numbers every time I blocked him, 785 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 6: and made new social media accounts, and I started seeing 786 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:25,360 Speaker 6: his car everywhere. I tried getting a restraining order against Fred, 787 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,760 Speaker 6: but since he hadn't done anything to me, they couldn't 788 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,960 Speaker 6: do anything. A few months later, I was walking to 789 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,560 Speaker 6: my car at night. Fred coincidentally saw me walking alone 790 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,520 Speaker 6: and offered me a ride home. I said no, that 791 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,680 Speaker 6: I had my own car and kept walking. Fred proceeded 792 00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:43,040 Speaker 6: to get out of his car. I ran to my car. 793 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 6: I drove away. Luckily he didn't follow. I tried again 794 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,520 Speaker 6: to get a restraining order, but it was basically his 795 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,439 Speaker 6: word against mine. They gave me a temporary restraining order, 796 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,680 Speaker 6: but that's it. I was terrified of even walking outside 797 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 6: and deleted all my socials. Thankfully, a very close friend, 798 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,440 Speaker 6: let's call him pe Pete, stepped in to defend me. 799 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,160 Speaker 6: Pete ended up threatening Fred and I finally stopped hearing 800 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 6: from Fred. I felt free and slowly got back into 801 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:12,880 Speaker 6: my normal life. Now to present day, I'm now married 802 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 6: to my husband. I've graduated from college and live alone 803 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 6: with my husband. We've moved to a nearby city and 804 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,560 Speaker 6: bought a house together. Sadly, a month ago, Pete passed 805 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:27,319 Speaker 6: away during his sleep, and I was absolutely devastated. I've 806 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,200 Speaker 6: known Pete since I was in high school and he 807 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 6: was my closest friend. To be honest, I'm still not 808 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 6: over his passing and sometimes I can't believe he's gone. 809 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,120 Speaker 6: But guess who heard about his death? Fred found out 810 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,319 Speaker 6: and is now back. I received texts from Fred a 811 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:45,120 Speaker 6: few days after Pete passed away. I now see him 812 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,839 Speaker 6: everywhere and he's insisting we talk. I just ignore him 813 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 6: and walk away. I've reported him, but nothing has happened, 814 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,479 Speaker 6: so I've deleted my socials again. Friends have been telling 815 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 6: me Fred has been asking around about me. He's asked 816 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,320 Speaker 6: if I move, what I'm doing lately, if I have 817 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:04,640 Speaker 6: other social media accounts, etc. I'm honestly terrified. I've moved 818 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 6: since I finished college, but somehow I see him at 819 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 6: my gym, grocery store, park, et cetera. It honestly makes 820 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,840 Speaker 6: me believe he's never stop watching me, and it's terrifying. 821 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,160 Speaker 6: I've told my husband about everything, and he says I'm 822 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:24,279 Speaker 6: overreacting or just plane ignores my concerns and changes the subject. 823 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 6: I've argued that he doesn't care, and he argues back, 824 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,560 Speaker 6: asking what do I expect him to do? He said 825 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:30,920 Speaker 6: that Fred is to know where we live and that 826 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,000 Speaker 6: will just change gyms. My husband is telling me to 827 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,360 Speaker 6: just change my regular routine and stop going to certain places. 828 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,440 Speaker 6: He says it's no big deal and Fred is harmless. 829 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,360 Speaker 6: I'm like, Fred tried to force me into his car. 830 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,759 Speaker 6: How is that harmless? My husband has been distant ever 831 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,439 Speaker 6: since this started, and I feel alone. I don't want 832 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 6: to tell my friends and fear they will tell Fred. 833 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,600 Speaker 6: If you think that any of your friends are capable 834 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,799 Speaker 6: of telling your stalker what's going on, cut them out 835 00:36:58,800 --> 00:36:59,160 Speaker 6: of your life. 836 00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,840 Speaker 2: They have great things at the Army surplus store. 837 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 6: I can't go to my family because I'm in no 838 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,160 Speaker 6: contact with him, and of course my husband couldn't care less. 839 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,720 Speaker 6: I need advice. What do I do? Am I crazy? 840 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 6: Should I just change my gym and my routine? Like 841 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 6: how my husband says, part of me just wants to 842 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,319 Speaker 6: move completely, But another part is basically asking myself. Why 843 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 6: do I have to uproot my life and change everything 844 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,839 Speaker 6: because of him? Can't he just leave me alone? It's 845 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:27,799 Speaker 6: been like ten years already and I want to move 846 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,040 Speaker 6: on from this. Should I just talk to Fred hoping 847 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,480 Speaker 6: he'll finally leave me alone? 848 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:32,399 Speaker 2: It's not gonna work. 849 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:33,399 Speaker 7: If you just talk to him. 850 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,279 Speaker 2: You should have a can of mace, and when he 851 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,040 Speaker 2: finds you, you go. If you take one more step, 852 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,040 Speaker 2: well I'm going to empty this entire thing into your 853 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:43,960 Speaker 2: sinus cavity. 854 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 6: Added comments from OPI what does her husband think? My 855 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,400 Speaker 6: husband thinks I'm overreacting and says if anything happens that 856 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,879 Speaker 6: Fred will end up in jail. Why would you want 857 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 6: to wait until anything happens. 858 00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,239 Speaker 2: I'm literally I'm so angry at this man. Why we're 859 00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:58,239 Speaker 2: seeing him immediately? 860 00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 6: Why would you want to wait until something happens to 861 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 6: your wife eight when he says that, because what does 862 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 6: it even mean? Do I have to end up in 863 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 6: a ditch before I can finally be left alone. My 864 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,040 Speaker 6: husband's excuse is that the law will protect me, and 865 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,799 Speaker 6: if Fred tries anything, he'll end up in jail. Well, 866 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 6: to change your routine. I've been changing up my routine 867 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,239 Speaker 6: hoping I won't see him, and it's worked a bit, 868 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,400 Speaker 6: but not entirely. I do have a protection back, and 869 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,560 Speaker 6: I carry a bat in my car just in case. 870 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:28,719 Speaker 6: And there is an update, folks. But just I your 871 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 6: husband does not support you. 872 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,320 Speaker 2: I think you need something with it that's a little less, 873 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:33,360 Speaker 2: you know, close range. 874 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:34,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true. 875 00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:35,560 Speaker 2: I think you need something that can alle you have 876 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 2: a little distance. Yeah, I do think well to put 877 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,440 Speaker 2: somewhere you're like, I own arrow or something. I think 878 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,880 Speaker 2: the pepper spray is a good idea. Yeah. Literally, Like, 879 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,000 Speaker 2: first of all, you need to serve your husband divorce papers, 880 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,680 Speaker 2: because it's unacceptable that any person who's supposed to be 881 00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,920 Speaker 2: like your partner is treating this like a oh yeah. 882 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:57,719 Speaker 2: Once he literally rem has you from the planet, I 883 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:02,839 Speaker 2: guess I'll care. That's I'm leaving immediately. 884 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,480 Speaker 6: My friends don't talk to Fred, and they are aware 885 00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:08,360 Speaker 6: of the situation. Fred has reached out to them randomly 886 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,040 Speaker 6: asking about me. They have reported and blocked him as well. 887 00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,840 Speaker 6: Good now for the update. Last night, I decided to 888 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:18,479 Speaker 6: have a serious conversation with my husband one last time. 889 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,720 Speaker 6: I sat down with him and explained the whole situation again, 890 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,760 Speaker 6: told him how scared I've been and that he needs 891 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 6: to take this seriously. I wanted to show him how 892 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,600 Speaker 6: terrified I was, how small I've been made to feel, 893 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,879 Speaker 6: not just by Fred but also him. How is lack 894 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:37,080 Speaker 6: of support concern for my own safety is making me 895 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 6: question our marriage. I asked if he'd even do anything 896 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,920 Speaker 6: if I was found in a ditch. He was silent 897 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,919 Speaker 6: the whole time, while looking at the floor. He sat 898 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,440 Speaker 6: in silence for a few minutes before I got up 899 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:53,440 Speaker 6: to pack my things. My husband proceeded to cry. He 900 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:57,440 Speaker 6: apologized and said he'd make this right. He said he 901 00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,359 Speaker 6: didn't want to overreact in fear of scaring me more, 902 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,440 Speaker 6: but when in reality it made me feel alone. My 903 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:06,880 Speaker 6: husband has been looking into Fred without my knowledge and 904 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,480 Speaker 6: has found out where he works, lives, and even Fred's 905 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,919 Speaker 6: family contact information. He wanted to gather more information about 906 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,879 Speaker 6: Fred before contacting a lawyer. We're both taking a few 907 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,960 Speaker 6: days off of work to get our ducks in a row. 908 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:22,080 Speaker 6: We're getting a lawyer and gathering evidence of Fred's pesterment. 909 00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,920 Speaker 6: We're also currently looking for a therapist for us so 910 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,120 Speaker 6: we can both talk about the whole situation and other 911 00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,759 Speaker 6: issues we have in our marriage. I also have some 912 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,759 Speaker 6: voicemails Fred has left me, and I officially think he's 913 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,319 Speaker 6: lost it. I have an Apple iPhone and you're able 914 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,680 Speaker 6: to see voicemails from block numbers. Some of the messages 915 00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:44,160 Speaker 6: are of him staying straight up gibberish, while others as 916 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,360 Speaker 6: if he's having a conversation with me. He says things like, 917 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,440 Speaker 6: oh yeah, babe, I get off work lates to two 918 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,160 Speaker 6: nights and no go or I'm off so you can 919 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:53,720 Speaker 6: come pick it up right now? 920 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 2: No, yeah, I don't know. 921 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,000 Speaker 6: I can't do this anymore. There's a lot of fashion 922 00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,319 Speaker 6: in my life. Sounds like he's having a conversation, but 923 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,600 Speaker 6: it's no one else else, just him, and it's terrifying. 924 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,640 Speaker 6: My husband does feel bad and is trying his best 925 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:09,000 Speaker 6: to console me. He has apologized repeatedly for making me 926 00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,840 Speaker 6: feel lonely. And has been more supportive and open. Currently, 927 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,360 Speaker 6: he's looking through my car to check if there's anything 928 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,839 Speaker 6: that might be giving my location to Fred. There is 929 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,160 Speaker 6: a second update, so we're gonna get into it. After 930 00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:23,480 Speaker 6: my husband didn't find anything in my car, I still 931 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 6: felt something was wrong, so I took people's advice and 932 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 6: told and took my car to the mechanic. Told my 933 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,200 Speaker 6: mechanic about my situation and if he could take a 934 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,920 Speaker 6: look at my car, and, to my horror, a couple 935 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:37,839 Speaker 6: days later, my mechanic found a small little cube that 936 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,879 Speaker 6: was placed hidden under my car. At first, I really 937 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,560 Speaker 6: wanted to believe it was just part of my car 938 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:46,279 Speaker 6: or something, but my mechanic explained that it wasn't and 939 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:49,680 Speaker 6: it was deliberately hidden. The cube is really small and magnetic. 940 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,160 Speaker 6: I called my lawyer right then and told them everything. 941 00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:55,360 Speaker 6: I got pictures of the GPS and where it was placed. 942 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,520 Speaker 6: I thanked the mechanic and drove to my lawyer's office. 943 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,360 Speaker 6: At this I was shaking and wanted to cry. How 944 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:07,160 Speaker 6: long have the GPS been there? How long had Fred 945 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,640 Speaker 6: been following me without me knowing? Was he watching me 946 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,120 Speaker 6: at that moment? Is he going to add another one? 947 00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,400 Speaker 2: What does this goofy do for work? What do you 948 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,200 Speaker 2: you just follow this woman? Und go get some money 949 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,040 Speaker 2: once you go make so once you get a job, 950 00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:20,880 Speaker 2: makes some money, Fred. 951 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,800 Speaker 6: Some people are really awful. I called my husband to 952 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,000 Speaker 6: meet me at the lawyer's office and told him everything. 953 00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,520 Speaker 6: At the office, I just wanted to disappear. I wanted 954 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,560 Speaker 6: to run away and not look back. I was terrified 955 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,560 Speaker 6: and felt so violated, knowing I was being watched for 956 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:38,160 Speaker 6: who knows how long. With everything we had gathered, my 957 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:42,400 Speaker 6: lawyer was able to get a temporary restraining the same. 958 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,800 Speaker 2: Day, which is crazy because I feel like, with everything 959 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,440 Speaker 2: you have, you should have been able to, like, I 960 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,480 Speaker 2: don't know, throw this guy in a bottomless pit, and 961 00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:50,239 Speaker 2: which is okay to say because he never hits the 962 00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,799 Speaker 2: bottom so he's fine. But he's just there. He's just 963 00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:53,600 Speaker 2: going back and forth. 964 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:55,520 Speaker 6: We are currently going through the process of getting a 965 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,560 Speaker 6: restraining order where I will have to go to court 966 00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,600 Speaker 6: and see Fred again. My lawyer says, the ross can 967 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,960 Speaker 6: be long and draining, but it's something I do need 968 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,680 Speaker 6: to get for my own safe There is a little 969 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,840 Speaker 6: bit left to this story. 970 00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,200 Speaker 7: Do you have any final thoughts? 971 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:12,400 Speaker 2: Again, Man, there there is an inadequacy in the American 972 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,200 Speaker 2: legal system to allow this kind of behavior to just 973 00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:20,600 Speaker 2: go unchecked. Like, yeah, I'm sorry that your husband was 974 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:25,800 Speaker 2: so like brain dead about this, Like maybe I don't 975 00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,600 Speaker 2: leave him after he like breaks down and it admits 976 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,200 Speaker 2: all this stuff. But again, I'm extremely suspicious that he's 977 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 2: somehow like blessed this or like knew about this, and 978 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,640 Speaker 2: maybe it was some kind of deranged test to make you, 979 00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:44,480 Speaker 2: like like be more assertive or something. I don't know. 980 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:46,280 Speaker 7: I certainly hope that's not the case. 981 00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:49,120 Speaker 2: But it really drives me. I would need to know how. 982 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,080 Speaker 2: I would need to know by all right, walk me 983 00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:54,040 Speaker 2: through the exact process of you gathering all this information 984 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,280 Speaker 2: and finding it and how you got his contact information 985 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,480 Speaker 2: and his family's information. How did you do this? 986 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:02,240 Speaker 7: But we got a little bit to this story, folks. 987 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,560 Speaker 6: I got a bit scared and had my husband's car 988 00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:07,879 Speaker 6: also checked for anything. Thankfully, nothing was found in his car. 989 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:11,000 Speaker 6: I started feeling watched at home, so I ad my 990 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:15,760 Speaker 6: whole house turned upside down looking for anything maybe Fred 991 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:19,600 Speaker 6: had placed. Again, thankfully, nothing was found. I've told neighbors 992 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,319 Speaker 6: about what we found and to keep an eye out 993 00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:25,319 Speaker 6: for anyone suspicious. I've also started my safety training for 994 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,600 Speaker 6: handling a pew pew and shootin' and still trying to 995 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,000 Speaker 6: get my CCW, but it can be a long process. 996 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,600 Speaker 6: Thank you again for everyone who has given me advice, 997 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,600 Speaker 6: and I'll keep you updated if creepy Fred tries anything. 998 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:40,680 Speaker 6: And Commoner says, air tags can be very small. If 999 00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:42,520 Speaker 6: you have the means, take your car to a mechanic 1000 00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,440 Speaker 6: and tell them you have a stalker. Well, I mean, 1001 00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,200 Speaker 6: I think shirty did that. They can check up on 1002 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,759 Speaker 6: the wheel wells a car and the like. Check your 1003 00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:50,839 Speaker 6: purse too, just in case. I think there's an app 1004 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,440 Speaker 6: you can download that will scan for low frequency devices 1005 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:57,160 Speaker 6: like trackers tend to bet. I'm glad your husband apologized 1006 00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:02,359 Speaker 6: and is finally taking this seriously. Opie says, my car 1007 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,920 Speaker 6: is currently at the mechanics getting checked out. Thank you 1008 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,359 Speaker 6: so much for this advice, and folks, that is the 1009 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:08,600 Speaker 6: end of that story. 1010 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:14,040 Speaker 2: My boyfriend and sister just can't get along and I'm 1011 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:15,239 Speaker 2: stuck in the middle of it. 1012 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,799 Speaker 7: And they not get along or do they get along too? 1013 00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:18,200 Speaker 5: Well? 1014 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:21,759 Speaker 2: My twenty six mail sister Kayla twenty four mail and 1015 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:25,200 Speaker 2: I are very close. My boyfriend Tim twenty five. Mail 1016 00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:28,399 Speaker 2: and I have been dating for almost three years. In 1017 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,680 Speaker 2: March twenty twenty three, Tim and I had been indulging 1018 00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:33,960 Speaker 2: in a little bit of the Devil's Lettuce together and 1019 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,160 Speaker 2: then my sister called me. We spoke on speakerphone. She 1020 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,880 Speaker 2: was talking about her job at the Plasma Donation Center, 1021 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,640 Speaker 2: and she was venting about how disappointed she was that 1022 00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:46,800 Speaker 2: this is what her degree biology amounted to, earning eighteen 1023 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,040 Speaker 2: dollars an hour. By the way, this comes from users 1024 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,080 Speaker 2: Sacred Math eighty one oh five, and if you want 1025 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,040 Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash 1026 00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:57,360 Speaker 2: Okay story time subreddit. Tim overheard this and interpreted that 1027 00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,759 Speaker 2: she was making a dig or throwing shape him a 1028 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:04,560 Speaker 2: pharmaceutical tech. I tried telling him over and over, we're 1029 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,799 Speaker 2: not talking about you, Tim, that she's allowed to be 1030 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:12,000 Speaker 2: disappointed in her job. He dropped it, though it wasn't 1031 00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,919 Speaker 2: the most harmonious resolution. That August, Tim and I, as 1032 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,000 Speaker 2: well as my brother and sister, were all attending a 1033 00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,359 Speaker 2: local concert. We weren't all going together. Tim and I 1034 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:24,080 Speaker 2: had seats together, as did my siblings, but since we 1035 00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,840 Speaker 2: were all headed to the same place, I suggested we 1036 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:30,000 Speaker 2: could get together beforehand for lunch so he could properly 1037 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,759 Speaker 2: meet my siblings. Tim seemed hesitant, but he agreed. So 1038 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,720 Speaker 2: the four of us meet for lunch, and it was rough. Tim, 1039 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:41,040 Speaker 2: who was normally very extroverted and personable with strangers like 1040 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,920 Speaker 2: the uber driver in cashier, was completely silent during the lunch. 1041 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:49,120 Speaker 2: My siblings, who are introverted like me, tried their best 1042 00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:52,400 Speaker 2: to make small talk, but it was extremely awkward at best. 1043 00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,680 Speaker 2: We all went to the concert together and we came 1044 00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:58,160 Speaker 2: back together afterwards. Tim said, my brother is cool, but 1045 00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:01,840 Speaker 2: he was on yellow light with my sister. I asked why, 1046 00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,560 Speaker 2: and he said that she said shady comments during the lunch, 1047 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,520 Speaker 2: like which one of y'all have the tickets? And where 1048 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:11,239 Speaker 2: will you be sitting during the concert? I immediately shut down. 1049 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,959 Speaker 2: Later on, we got in a heated discussion in which 1050 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,840 Speaker 2: I basically accused him of bringing his feelings from the 1051 00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,200 Speaker 2: March phone call into how he approached the lunch mentally 1052 00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:24,040 Speaker 2: and literally. He denied this and basically said, his feelings 1053 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:25,960 Speaker 2: are his own and I essentially can't tell him how 1054 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:29,200 Speaker 2: to feel about Kayla if he felt her behavior was untoward, 1055 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:33,759 Speaker 2: So basically we dropped it and I guess I left 1056 00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:37,000 Speaker 2: it at yellow light. Then in December of twenty twenty three, 1057 00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,520 Speaker 2: my sister and I were playing a game and she won. 1058 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,239 Speaker 2: I was happy for her. She never wins, so I 1059 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,480 Speaker 2: texted Tim about it and his first response was, did 1060 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,200 Speaker 2: you let her win? I said no, don't do her 1061 00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,440 Speaker 2: like that. He then said I wouldn't defend him like 1062 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,719 Speaker 2: I defend her, and that led to a huge spat overtext, 1063 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,760 Speaker 2: in which it was revealed that he lied. In August, 1064 00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,600 Speaker 2: when I asked him if he still felt some way 1065 00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:00,440 Speaker 2: about the phone call, he said that he didn't tell 1066 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,200 Speaker 2: me because he wanted to observe my siblings and I 1067 00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,839 Speaker 2: and see for himself how they would interact with him 1068 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,520 Speaker 2: or each other. I told him that that wasn't his place. 1069 00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,560 Speaker 2: It was mine to set up or call off the lunch, 1070 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,200 Speaker 2: and I should have had that information before I set 1071 00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,680 Speaker 2: it up. Eventually, and I forget how we resolved the 1072 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:22,480 Speaker 2: talk and essentially agreed that at some point, no timeline, 1073 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,560 Speaker 2: he was going to chat with Kayla and sort it out. 1074 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:29,160 Speaker 2: So that brings us to now. Yesterday, Tim said he'd 1075 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,919 Speaker 2: like to speak with Kayla. I'm just a little concerned though, 1076 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:34,480 Speaker 2: that it will once again go left. My sister is 1077 00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,920 Speaker 2: a black woman, and in the last year she was 1078 00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:40,280 Speaker 2: fired from her job not the Plasma Center, for essentially 1079 00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:45,160 Speaker 2: not being nice or a team player or whatever bs 1080 00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,439 Speaker 2: they gave her. The truth is, and this is something 1081 00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:51,120 Speaker 2: I'm not debating on. People, especially in professional settings, have 1082 00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,799 Speaker 2: a tendency to assume the worst of Black women, and 1083 00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:56,120 Speaker 2: so the situation with Tim and her job has made 1084 00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,440 Speaker 2: her very self conscious about herself, what she says, and 1085 00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,320 Speaker 2: her face expressions. When I spoke to Kayla yesterday to 1086 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,520 Speaker 2: gage her feelings on the potential meeting, she expressed this, 1087 00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,080 Speaker 2: she doesn't uh, she doesn't understand what she did wrong 1088 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,640 Speaker 2: to Tim, but she said it could be an intention 1089 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,840 Speaker 2: versus impact thing. She said she's concerned about meeting with 1090 00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:18,360 Speaker 2: him because one wrong expression could have him thinking negatively 1091 00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,359 Speaker 2: of her. I told her that if she is who 1092 00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,000 Speaker 2: I think she is and he is who I think 1093 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,959 Speaker 2: he is, it will be fine. Kayla called me back 1094 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,560 Speaker 2: in tears, saying that by me saying I think I 1095 00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,520 Speaker 2: was implying that what Tim and her previous employer were 1096 00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,000 Speaker 2: saying could be valid and I shouldn't be doing that 1097 00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:39,759 Speaker 2: as one of her closest friends. I apologized, and that's 1098 00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:41,040 Speaker 2: where the entire situation is. 1099 00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:45,359 Speaker 6: Now, Wait what Okay, I think I don't know any 1100 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:47,879 Speaker 6: of these people the semantics, right, we need to let 1101 00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:48,719 Speaker 6: go of the semantics. 1102 00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,600 Speaker 7: I think it's like, no, he was being nice. 1103 00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,319 Speaker 2: Come on, by the way, Kayla, you might just not 1104 00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,480 Speaker 2: be good at customer service. Take race completely out of it. 1105 00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,960 Speaker 2: I know people who can who don't have the patience 1106 00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:03,719 Speaker 2: for dealing with people one. I'd be terrible. I do customersise? 1107 00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:06,200 Speaker 2: I do you think that black woman. I'm not trying 1108 00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:10,480 Speaker 2: to delegitimize the black experience of like being seen as like, 1109 00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:12,680 Speaker 2: oh well, you're always on thin ice. It's like a 1110 00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,960 Speaker 2: one expression away from being fired. That's not cool. What 1111 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:20,360 Speaker 2: I'm saying is whatever, just move on from the semantics here. Yeah, okay, I. 1112 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:23,040 Speaker 7: Think in this situation, she's focusing on the wrong thing. 1113 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:26,200 Speaker 2: Now I'm concerned that their potential sit down won't be 1114 00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,200 Speaker 2: great for her or him. Tim has been quick while 1115 00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,920 Speaker 2: venting to me to call Lady cowork. He's irritated with witches, 1116 00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:35,480 Speaker 2: and that's something I'd like to call him out on. 1117 00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,319 Speaker 2: I say that to say that on some level he 1118 00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,440 Speaker 2: does have biases, and I'd like him to check his biases, 1119 00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:44,080 Speaker 2: but it's sensitive. I haven't told Tim that Kayla lost 1120 00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:46,640 Speaker 2: her job or why I haven't told him how she 1121 00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:50,200 Speaker 2: feels generally about being misconstrued, because I feel like if 1122 00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:53,040 Speaker 2: I tell him, he'll think I'm trying to shrink his feelings, 1123 00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:55,600 Speaker 2: and to be clear, I don't want to shrink his feelings. 1124 00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,400 Speaker 2: I'm unsure of what to do. So this just all 1125 00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,080 Speaker 2: seems like a precarious situation, and it seems like every 1126 00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:03,319 Speaker 2: time I try to fix it, it gets worse. I 1127 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,000 Speaker 2: don't feel it should be this stressful reconciling them, and 1128 00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,319 Speaker 2: I don't even need them to be friends, but it's 1129 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,080 Speaker 2: been stressful for me in the lead up to their conversation. 1130 00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 2: What should I convey to each person? If anything? 1131 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:19,040 Speaker 6: And you go to your boyfriend and you say, hey, dude, uh, 1132 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,160 Speaker 6: you need to get over a thing that wasn't even 1133 00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:22,880 Speaker 6: about you. 1134 00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:23,920 Speaker 7: Maybe you could say it nicer. 1135 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:26,879 Speaker 2: I think you actually put the foot down and you go, 1136 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,120 Speaker 2: if you can't be friends with my sister, this isn't 1137 00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:29,600 Speaker 2: gonna happen. 1138 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:31,120 Speaker 4: You don't have to be friends with my sister. 1139 00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:34,400 Speaker 6: If you can't pay nice to my sister, if you 1140 00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:37,080 Speaker 6: can't even be polite to my sister. This doesn't work 1141 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,000 Speaker 6: because my sister is important to me and you are 1142 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:40,600 Speaker 6: being rude. 1143 00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:42,960 Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't care if you don't like her. 1144 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:46,480 Speaker 2: If my sister calls me from this lunch and she's upset, 1145 00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:47,439 Speaker 2: this is done. 1146 00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:48,040 Speaker 6: This is over. 1147 00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:51,840 Speaker 2: And understand that, and now go be then nice. 1148 00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:53,239 Speaker 6: And then you go to your sister and you say 1149 00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:56,280 Speaker 6: I love you. I'm not trying to I'm on your side. 1150 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,920 Speaker 6: Stop attacking me for something that someone else is doing that. 1151 00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:01,520 Speaker 6: I'm trying to handle. You guys have beef. I'm trying 1152 00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:02,120 Speaker 6: to handle it. 1153 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,520 Speaker 2: There is an update. Well, I want to thank each 1154 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:06,759 Speaker 2: and every one of you who contributed their thoughts to 1155 00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:10,000 Speaker 2: my initial thread. Tough words, but I needed to read them. 1156 00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,600 Speaker 2: Lots of wisdom that I recognized as such at the 1157 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,520 Speaker 2: time but did not fully accept. So I told Tim 1158 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:18,399 Speaker 2: about my concerns with my sister. It did not go well. 1159 00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,879 Speaker 2: We ended up arguing for at least eight hours. This 1160 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:25,560 Speaker 2: culminated in him finally speaking over the phone with my 1161 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:29,400 Speaker 2: sister and I was present. Suffice to say that conversation 1162 00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,360 Speaker 2: and the hour long follow up the next day also 1163 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,600 Speaker 2: did not go well. I mean, my sister explained she 1164 00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:37,520 Speaker 2: meant nothing wrong and apologized and heard all of the 1165 00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,000 Speaker 2: words salad he had to say, but she came away 1166 00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:43,120 Speaker 2: with the market impression of if you like it, I 1167 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,120 Speaker 2: love it with my boyfriend, and she asked me not 1168 00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:49,239 Speaker 2: to call her for any more resolution talks with him. 1169 00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,239 Speaker 2: She felt he was condescending in tone, long winded, and 1170 00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:55,840 Speaker 2: using a lot of therapy speak, while ultimately saying nothing 1171 00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:59,799 Speaker 2: undermined his own apologies with more confusing sentiments somehow talked 1172 00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,319 Speaker 2: to what offended him and thus seemed to want her 1173 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,120 Speaker 2: to figure out the problem and the solution. I, having 1174 00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,040 Speaker 2: heard everything he said, agreed to her request. If you'd 1175 00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,480 Speaker 2: like more details on that, I can share in the comments. 1176 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,480 Speaker 2: Even if that was a stressful situation two years in 1177 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,480 Speaker 2: the making. Apologies were made by both parties, as well 1178 00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:19,719 Speaker 2: as from me to each of them. What did you 1179 00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:25,720 Speaker 2: have to apologize for? It is so exhausting word salad again. 1180 00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,799 Speaker 4: He states he didn't even know what he's mad at. 1181 00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,279 Speaker 6: He's like, you're asking, oh, like I'm sorry if I 1182 00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:34,680 Speaker 6: said something I don't And he won't even specifically state 1183 00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:35,440 Speaker 6: what he's mad at. 1184 00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,160 Speaker 2: He's mad at a feeling of incompetency, that came from 1185 00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:42,319 Speaker 2: his own brain about himself. The only reason he's mad 1186 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,200 Speaker 2: at your sisters that she spoke the words that gave 1187 00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,000 Speaker 2: him the thought. So now it's her fault. 1188 00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:47,480 Speaker 5: Ah. 1189 00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:51,799 Speaker 2: Eventually, uh, and there were a lot more heated discussions. 1190 00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:53,839 Speaker 2: Tim and I got back on the same page as well. 1191 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,120 Speaker 2: A few weeks ago, I was a passenger in the 1192 00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:59,040 Speaker 2: car with Tim. He had the stop sign and proceeded 1193 00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,359 Speaker 2: onto the main road, and then we got t bone 1194 00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,000 Speaker 2: on my side. Day I got the worst of it, 1195 00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,759 Speaker 2: a mild concussion and a few scrapes. Following this, Tim 1196 00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:08,759 Speaker 2: could not wrap his head around the fact that he 1197 00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:10,960 Speaker 2: was at fault. He wouldn't even say it, and he 1198 00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,880 Speaker 2: was shocked as the police charged him with failure to yield, 1199 00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:16,759 Speaker 2: and his insurance found him one hundred percent liable. In 1200 00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:19,360 Speaker 2: his mind, the other driver was speeding and she should 1201 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,960 Speaker 2: have yielded to him. She was uninsured, which didn't help 1202 00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:25,880 Speaker 2: that mental process. As he was liable, I was entitled 1203 00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,479 Speaker 2: to file a medical claim with his insurance. Tim asked 1204 00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:31,480 Speaker 2: me not to do this ultimately out of consideration of 1205 00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:35,200 Speaker 2: his insurance premiums, and he offered to pay my expenses 1206 00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,359 Speaker 2: out of pocket. This stressed me out. For a couple 1207 00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:41,080 Speaker 2: of weeks. I couldn't pinpoint why, but ultimately I realized 1208 00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:42,840 Speaker 2: it was unfair of Tim to ask that of me, 1209 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,600 Speaker 2: especially when he was responsible. It's not that I don't 1210 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,560 Speaker 2: trust that he wouldn't pay, but it's not personal. When 1211 00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,120 Speaker 2: things like this happen. We go to insurance. If your 1212 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,840 Speaker 2: rates go up, they go up. That's the deal we 1213 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:57,480 Speaker 2: make when we go behind the wheel. I expressed my 1214 00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,400 Speaker 2: feelings to Tim, even ultimately agreeing with his out of 1215 00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:03,920 Speaker 2: pocket plant. My healthcare is handling the bulk of expenses anyway. 1216 00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:07,440 Speaker 2: Tim first apologized, then we didn't speak again until the 1217 00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:10,000 Speaker 2: next afternoon, where Tim tried to flip it on me. 1218 00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,359 Speaker 7: He's exhausting. He's exhausting. 1219 00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:16,319 Speaker 2: Do you run a marathon every day? You're dating this guy? 1220 00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:19,080 Speaker 6: He's truly exhaust Why would you want to be with him? 1221 00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,680 Speaker 6: I hate your sister. He doesn't seem to like you 1222 00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:22,239 Speaker 6: very much. 1223 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,560 Speaker 2: Is this the only guy you've been with? Do you 1224 00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:27,000 Speaker 2: think there's no one else? There's so many thoughts. I 1225 00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,640 Speaker 2: think that creeps in so many better people like not 1226 00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:32,600 Speaker 2: every relationship has to be an eight hour argument and 1227 00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:36,160 Speaker 2: on the next day and then the next day, you come. 1228 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,120 Speaker 2: It's not worth it. On a side comment that was 1229 00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:45,279 Speaker 2: said nine months ago, yeah bye, oh my put me 1230 00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:48,160 Speaker 2: in a in a trash compactor. I'd rather be there 1231 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:50,879 Speaker 2: than have to listen to Tim for one more day. 1232 00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:54,719 Speaker 2: So Tim said he was being accountable. He's contesting the 1233 00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:58,000 Speaker 2: charge in court. I wasn't being collaborative in this process, 1234 00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,360 Speaker 2: and I wasn't being considerate of all of his rsses. 1235 00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:03,680 Speaker 2: I ended that conversation as I felt it wasn't productive. 1236 00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:05,799 Speaker 2: Then I followed up and said, sure he was being 1237 00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:09,480 Speaker 2: financially responsible, but it's more so the emotional responsibility that 1238 00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:12,040 Speaker 2: I'm seeking. I haven't gotten anything more than I'm sorry 1239 00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,120 Speaker 2: the accident happened. Tim didn't respond to that. He just 1240 00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:18,240 Speaker 2: said my feelings are valid, he understands, and thanks for sharing. 1241 00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,000 Speaker 2: After that, our text became a lot colder and more distant. 1242 00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:25,920 Speaker 2: We lived ninety minutes apart, so we primarily communicate through text. Essentially, 1243 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,759 Speaker 2: Tim either gave me the silent treatment or decided I 1244 00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:32,120 Speaker 2: was one of the stresses. Having my very reasonable feelings 1245 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,200 Speaker 2: be flipped on me was genuinely one of the most 1246 00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:37,239 Speaker 2: jarring things ever. Here I was arguing for an hour 1247 00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,719 Speaker 2: about my feelings and then he'll say he'll never tell 1248 00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,479 Speaker 2: me how to feel. This is also the same guy 1249 00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:45,160 Speaker 2: who always urges me to be vulnerable with him. It 1250 00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:48,560 Speaker 2: was another week of reflections for me. Tim sucks true. 1251 00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:51,640 Speaker 2: I already knew that he can never be held accountable. 1252 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,759 Speaker 2: He is always the victim, and I just had to 1253 00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:57,120 Speaker 2: tell myself over and over that this is not what 1254 00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,720 Speaker 2: I wanted my life to be and I deserve better, 1255 00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:05,040 Speaker 2: not even just romantically. I just deserve peace. I need that. Yes, 1256 00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,040 Speaker 2: after a week of silence and low contact, him said 1257 00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,120 Speaker 2: he wanted to talk. I thought he was going to 1258 00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,120 Speaker 2: break up with me, and I was well and ready 1259 00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,360 Speaker 2: for it. Then he got on the phone and actually 1260 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,520 Speaker 2: he just wanted to argue about my feelings some more, 1261 00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:20,160 Speaker 2: this time for two hours. I realized afterwards that I 1262 00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:22,360 Speaker 2: was arguing to convince him and he was arguing to 1263 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,960 Speaker 2: avoid accountability. He told me at the end of that 1264 00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:28,400 Speaker 2: convo that every relationship has conflict. But I realized that 1265 00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:32,000 Speaker 2: this isn't healthy. I gave him one more chance a 1266 00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:34,040 Speaker 2: week to say the words I wanted to hear. They 1267 00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:36,160 Speaker 2: never came, so I broke up with him, and then 1268 00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:39,480 Speaker 2: we argued about my feelings a little more. He was 1269 00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:43,320 Speaker 2: extremely frustrated, and in some ways I'm frustrated for him. 1270 00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:46,800 Speaker 2: I think he just doesn't get it or doesn't want to. 1271 00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:50,520 Speaker 2: So that's it. That was my first relationship. 1272 00:57:50,680 --> 00:58:02,040 Speaker 8: Ah, get it an eight hour argument because you're like, 1273 00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:04,320 Speaker 8: I guess this is just how it works. 1274 00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:06,240 Speaker 4: No. 1275 00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:10,040 Speaker 2: No, oh, And for somebody who already had low self esteem, 1276 00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:12,080 Speaker 2: this is probably gonna be a doozy to reflect on. 1277 00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:16,320 Speaker 2: Shout out to the commentor who suggested therapy. I hear you, folks, 1278 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,959 Speaker 2: break up with your red flag partners, even if they're 1279 00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:23,800 Speaker 2: your first partners. You did, just do that, Please the 1280 00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,520 Speaker 2: love of God. I feel sad about it. I look 1281 00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,200 Speaker 2: back fondly on some moments, but I have so many 1282 00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:32,360 Speaker 2: journal entries in Reddit posts like these, and conversations with 1283 00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:35,440 Speaker 2: my sister that will not allow me to romanticize this relationship. 1284 00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,240 Speaker 2: I recognize that even if there were good moments, maybe 1285 00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:41,280 Speaker 2: even mostly good moments, the bad moments were terrible and 1286 00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:44,200 Speaker 2: just not worth it. So many red flags to recall. 1287 00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:46,600 Speaker 2: I just didn't want to believe that he was who 1288 00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,760 Speaker 2: he was. I wish i'd put my foot down earlier. 1289 00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,480 Speaker 2: One of my lessons is to trust my instincts and 1290 00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:55,640 Speaker 2: act on them, and my intuition is better than I 1291 00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,520 Speaker 2: give myself credit for it. I spent a lot of 1292 00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,800 Speaker 2: time during this relationship wondering if I was crazy. 1293 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:04,600 Speaker 4: Oh, you're not crazy. 1294 00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:09,040 Speaker 2: I'll go I'm letting it go. First relationship, first crazy relationship. 1295 00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:11,520 Speaker 6: Queen procrastination says, to go to why didn't you tell 1296 00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:14,320 Speaker 6: me that fifteen years ago? You had to learn Sometimes 1297 00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:15,400 Speaker 6: you gotta learn things on your own. 1298 00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,880 Speaker 2: Because I was fourteen, I was in freshman by honor. 1299 00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,360 Speaker 7: Why didn't you tell her when you were fourteen? 1300 00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:21,400 Speaker 2: I was busy. 1301 00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:23,240 Speaker 7: He was busy doing biology. 1302 00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:27,120 Speaker 2: Having my first girlfriend. Really, actually, dang, I didn't know. 1303 00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:29,200 Speaker 2: I definitely didn't know back then. 1304 00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:30,600 Speaker 7: Let's finish her off. 1305 00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:33,040 Speaker 2: And finally, I'm thankful to be alive. I could be 1306 00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:34,680 Speaker 2: passed away in the grave right now, and Tim would 1307 00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:38,840 Speaker 2: be telling my family incessantly, well she was speeding. I'm here. 1308 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,560 Speaker 2: I'm alive. I just have a few healing scrapes and 1309 00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,000 Speaker 2: headaches that are getting less intense every day. I get 1310 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,560 Speaker 2: to move forward and meet new people, have new experiences, 1311 00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:48,320 Speaker 2: and learn new lessons. I'm living. 1312 00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:52,560 Speaker 7: You are living, Ovita Lika, and that is the end. 1313 00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:53,240 Speaker 5: Of that story. 1314 00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,280 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host here. Bring to get 1315 00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:58,080 Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes fads from 1316 00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:03,600 Speaker 1: our sponsored My boyfriend bar road my keepsake without asking permission. First, 1317 01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:07,800 Speaker 1: I've had this shark tooth ever since I was maybe eleven. 1318 01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,480 Speaker 1: I found it on a beach on vacation. At the time, 1319 01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:13,840 Speaker 1: it was just cool, because what are the chances just 1320 01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:16,760 Speaker 1: walk on a random beach and find a shark tooth. 1321 01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:17,880 Speaker 5: By the way this comes from. 1322 01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:20,440 Speaker 1: It's about tank tooth, and it'd be honest of your 1323 01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:23,520 Speaker 1: own stories going to the arsage. Okay, story, I've st 1324 01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:26,720 Speaker 1: I read it so in time it became an important 1325 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,480 Speaker 1: emotional keepsake for me that reminded me of all the 1326 01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:33,200 Speaker 1: good parts of my childhood. Honestly, most of it wasn't 1327 01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:36,720 Speaker 1: very good, so extra important. I just really like this 1328 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,720 Speaker 1: stupid tooth, and whenever I was upset, I would just 1329 01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:42,960 Speaker 1: rub it in my hands and feel comforted. My boyfriend 1330 01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,240 Speaker 1: saw it in my room early on and I told 1331 01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:47,800 Speaker 1: him this story and he was like, hey, cool. To 1332 01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,120 Speaker 1: be fair, at this point, I didn't go into detail, 1333 01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:53,080 Speaker 1: just said it's important to me. Some years went by. 1334 01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:55,120 Speaker 1: We don't live together yet, but most of the time 1335 01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:58,000 Speaker 1: he comes to my place because it's larger. One day 1336 01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,160 Speaker 1: a few months back, I was looking for my shark, 1337 01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:04,680 Speaker 1: and it was not in the two or three places 1338 01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,320 Speaker 1: it has been in. No, biggie, I'm honestly pretty messy 1339 01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:09,960 Speaker 1: and often lose stuff somewhere, only to find it in 1340 01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,400 Speaker 1: my sock drawer a week later or something. I kept searching, 1341 01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:15,680 Speaker 1: confident it would resurface because it has never left my flat. 1342 01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:18,920 Speaker 1: After two weeks or so, I began to worry. I 1343 01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:22,160 Speaker 1: took my vacuum cleaner apart and started panicking about maybe 1344 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,600 Speaker 1: having dropped it in the trash somemoal and that it 1345 01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:27,439 Speaker 1: may be gone for good. Eventually, my boyfriend is over 1346 01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:29,600 Speaker 1: and notices that one of my drawers was kind of 1347 01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:33,080 Speaker 1: messy because I had gone through it and searched every nook. 1348 01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:36,600 Speaker 1: I tell him I cannot find the tooth, and he 1349 01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:40,240 Speaker 1: was like, ooh, that's a shame. I'm sure you'll find it. 1350 01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,439 Speaker 1: I didn't notice any weird vibes, so I guess he's 1351 01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:45,600 Speaker 1: got a good poker face. I didn't notice any weird vibes, 1352 01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:47,520 Speaker 1: so I guess he's got a good poker One more 1353 01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:49,800 Speaker 1: week he says over text, Okay, I need to tell 1354 01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:52,160 Speaker 1: you something, don't be mad. He sends me a picture 1355 01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:57,240 Speaker 1: of some art project and it has my shark tooth 1356 01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:00,360 Speaker 1: in it. Apparently he had to do a sculpture type 1357 01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:03,400 Speaker 1: thing for university, and it's like a Viking ship that 1358 01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:06,880 Speaker 1: has made half out of seashells, driftwood, et cetera, with 1359 01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:09,680 Speaker 1: my tooth as a centerpiece. And he tells me he 1360 01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:11,919 Speaker 1: saw the tooth in my flat when he was over 1361 01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:14,440 Speaker 1: and I was in the shower, so he put it 1362 01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,320 Speaker 1: in his pocket to ask me later that I forgot 1363 01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:20,240 Speaker 1: about it when he rediscovered it at home. The shark tooth, 1364 01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:23,320 Speaker 1: that is, he supposedly thought it was part of some 1365 01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:27,400 Speaker 1: other materials he had gotten elsewhere and just went ahead 1366 01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:29,840 Speaker 1: and used it. So I tell him he's gonna give 1367 01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:32,960 Speaker 1: it back to me asa and he goes, oh, well, 1368 01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:35,840 Speaker 1: it might take a few months because it's in an exhibition. 1369 01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:39,680 Speaker 1: And also he you super glue, though he doesn't know 1370 01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:42,440 Speaker 1: if he can get it off. After I had calmed 1371 01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:45,160 Speaker 1: down a bit, I know, genuinely, I'm not sure if 1372 01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,160 Speaker 1: I'm overreacting or not, like, yeah, it's just the tooth. 1373 01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:51,560 Speaker 1: But he didn't ask me I could believe him that 1374 01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:54,280 Speaker 1: he doesn't remember our short conversation a few years ago 1375 01:02:54,720 --> 01:02:58,600 Speaker 1: about it. But who just takes something someone's bedroom and 1376 01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:02,280 Speaker 1: slaps it on their work without saying anything. I feel 1377 01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,520 Speaker 1: like if I see him in person, I'd have to 1378 01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:08,240 Speaker 1: struggle not to flip out. So am I the ahle 1379 01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:14,200 Speaker 1: for reacting strongly? So question to chat to Carly? Is 1380 01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,200 Speaker 1: opda hole for acting strongly? 1381 01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,480 Speaker 4: No? No, not at all. That's a very special thing 1382 01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:22,680 Speaker 4: that you had that you told him about, and then 1383 01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,240 Speaker 4: he still went and took it and then is like 1384 01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:28,919 Speaker 4: I don't remember like he remembers. 1385 01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:31,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean like it's not like she like, 1386 01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:34,040 Speaker 1: I'm looking at it. I'm looking at the conversation. And 1387 01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:36,760 Speaker 1: she's not saying like I'm breaking up with you. No, 1388 01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,000 Speaker 1: She's just like I'm. 1389 01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:41,400 Speaker 4: Mad, I'm mad, and give me my toothback. 1390 01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:43,640 Speaker 1: And yeah, she's like what she said is like I 1391 01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:45,280 Speaker 1: was just done at the conversation, stared at a wall 1392 01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:49,480 Speaker 1: for like thirty minutes. But yeah, I mean I feel like, one, 1393 01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:51,920 Speaker 1: this was not an overreaction. I think it was a 1394 01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:59,600 Speaker 1: normal reaction to having a child, a childhood memory tarnish destroyed. 1395 01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:02,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, bastardized I don't know. 1396 01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:05,320 Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of other words, but a bunch 1397 01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:07,760 Speaker 1: of a bunch of words that mean he just just 1398 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,360 Speaker 1: took a little, a giant poop all over your your 1399 01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:14,320 Speaker 1: your childhood dreams. So I think, uh, I think it's 1400 01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:18,400 Speaker 1: not at all an overreaction. No, no, op, you're not 1401 01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:21,720 Speaker 1: the a hole. Verdict from everyone else, not the a hole. 1402 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,560 Speaker 1: Obviously we got some comments. He's lying to you. He 1403 01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:27,640 Speaker 1: definitely lied about just forgetting to ask you, which is 1404 01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:28,280 Speaker 1: what we said. 1405 01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:30,720 Speaker 5: You were in the shower, not on the moon. 1406 01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:34,120 Speaker 1: You telling me you have the kind of relationship where 1407 01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,760 Speaker 1: he can't yell something to you in the shower or 1408 01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:38,439 Speaker 1: wait to ask until you get out. 1409 01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:40,800 Speaker 5: He purposely waited. 1410 01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:43,439 Speaker 1: For you to not be in the room to take 1411 01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,440 Speaker 1: the tooth. There's no way he didn't make the connection 1412 01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,720 Speaker 1: between the tooth you were searching hectically for and the 1413 01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,240 Speaker 1: one he took. It's not like it's an iPhone that 1414 01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:54,720 Speaker 1: everyone has or a sweatshirt. It's a shark tooth. He 1415 01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:58,240 Speaker 1: is using it as a centerpiece of his dumb project. 1416 01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:02,400 Speaker 1: You honestly believe that b yes about forgetting where he 1417 01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:05,000 Speaker 1: found it. No, he just lied to you all over 1418 01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:08,040 Speaker 1: again and let you believe you lost it. 1419 01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:09,680 Speaker 5: He waits a week. A week. 1420 01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:12,600 Speaker 1: Come on, you think you would connect the centerpiece of 1421 01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:15,960 Speaker 1: his exhibit entered art piece with the object he swiped 1422 01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:18,680 Speaker 1: while his girlfriend was in the shower unless he literally 1423 01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:22,240 Speaker 1: got a traumatic brain injury and the last week. There 1424 01:05:22,320 --> 01:05:26,480 Speaker 1: is no effig way he'd forget I remembered where I 1425 01:05:26,600 --> 01:05:29,960 Speaker 1: sourced everything for my art projects when they were made 1426 01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,320 Speaker 1: out of trash. You think you would honestly forget finding 1427 01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,840 Speaker 1: a shark tooth? That means he even debated telling you 1428 01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:38,640 Speaker 1: the truth for a whole week. Remember remember that it 1429 01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:40,720 Speaker 1: took him a week to decide you deserve to know 1430 01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:43,240 Speaker 1: the truth and that you weren't responsible for losing your 1431 01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:47,240 Speaker 1: prized object. Girl, throw the whole boyfriend out. If he 1432 01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:49,600 Speaker 1: expects you to believe this BS, just to imagine the 1433 01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:51,920 Speaker 1: stories he will try to sell you in the future. 1434 01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:55,240 Speaker 1: No man who has any respect for a woman's intelligence 1435 01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:58,520 Speaker 1: would attempt to sell her this crap. I'm telling you 1436 01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:01,800 Speaker 1: for all the women ten plus years into this dating 1437 01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:04,160 Speaker 1: game who have fallen for crap like this. If it 1438 01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:07,440 Speaker 1: acts like a douche and quacks like a douche, that's 1439 01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:07,960 Speaker 1: a doch. 1440 01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:09,760 Speaker 5: Nothing all. 1441 01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:13,400 Speaker 1: He claims he only remembered this sometime after I told 1442 01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:15,240 Speaker 1: him that shark tooth is missing. I definitely don't believe 1443 01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,720 Speaker 1: his story. I was just unsure if I maybe believe 1444 01:06:17,760 --> 01:06:20,240 Speaker 1: parts of it or nothing. He's forgetful, so I thought 1445 01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:24,840 Speaker 1: it could be possible. And then Pickaboo. Another confident says, oh, pie, 1446 01:06:25,120 --> 01:06:28,160 Speaker 1: it's a shark tooth, and it's the center piece of 1447 01:06:28,240 --> 01:06:31,720 Speaker 1: his piece, so it probably is the only shark tooth 1448 01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:33,720 Speaker 1: either at all over its size. He lied to you 1449 01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:36,480 Speaker 1: and stole from you. Why would he ever take anything 1450 01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:39,200 Speaker 1: from your home without asking to begin with? Forgetful about 1451 01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:42,000 Speaker 1: the story. Maybe forgetful that he took it from your place, 1452 01:06:42,120 --> 01:06:44,080 Speaker 1: use it in this piece and didn't tell you until 1453 01:06:44,120 --> 01:06:46,600 Speaker 1: you were going crazy looking for it, and he may 1454 01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:47,880 Speaker 1: get cut hard. 1455 01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:49,560 Speaker 5: No, ohp, he responds you. 1456 01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:52,880 Speaker 1: Right at this point, I honestly wonder why he told 1457 01:06:52,920 --> 01:06:54,920 Speaker 1: me at all, since I didn't even know he was 1458 01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,440 Speaker 1: doing that sculpture. He could have kept quiet, and I 1459 01:06:57,440 --> 01:07:00,960 Speaker 1: would have one hundred percent blamed my own messy booty. 1460 01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:04,280 Speaker 1: And it's because he does have a conscience, very small, 1461 01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:06,919 Speaker 1: very quiet. But it was yelling, was yelling in his ear, 1462 01:07:07,240 --> 01:07:09,120 Speaker 1: saying you gotta confess he felt too bad. 1463 01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:10,880 Speaker 4: Do you think he would have tried to like sneak 1464 01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:13,320 Speaker 4: it back in after the installation was over, clean. 1465 01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:16,240 Speaker 2: The off of it, Yeah, or you no, not sneak 1466 01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:17,720 Speaker 2: it back like sneak it somewhere like that. 1467 01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,680 Speaker 4: Opie hasn't looked one of the three places. 1468 01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:23,440 Speaker 1: One of the three places. I think he could have 1469 01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:25,680 Speaker 1: snuck it. But I think he felt bad. Yeah, I 1470 01:07:25,680 --> 01:07:26,439 Speaker 1: think he felt bad. 1471 01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:29,400 Speaker 2: Well, I mean, if it's also the piece Dave resistance 1472 01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:31,080 Speaker 2: in his art piece, she didn't. 1473 01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:33,720 Speaker 4: Even know about it, you know, he had an art piece. 1474 01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:35,240 Speaker 5: I think also that's a problem. 1475 01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:35,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1476 01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:39,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like it was like a really big deal. Yeah, 1477 01:07:39,280 --> 01:07:41,640 Speaker 1: and you didn't you didn't ask him questions about this 1478 01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:42,960 Speaker 1: thing that he's working on in school. 1479 01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:45,240 Speaker 5: This seems like a broken relationship. 1480 01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:48,600 Speaker 4: I'm getting more and more on the breakup wavelength. Yeah, 1481 01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:49,400 Speaker 4: I think there. 1482 01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:52,200 Speaker 5: Are multiple problems. Like that's a great point. 1483 01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,440 Speaker 1: He's been working on this art piece, big art piece, 1484 01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:56,600 Speaker 1: that's it's it is. 1485 01:07:56,680 --> 01:07:57,760 Speaker 2: It is like a ship. 1486 01:07:58,000 --> 01:07:59,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's the most important thing. 1487 01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:04,480 Speaker 1: He's probably working on it for like weeks months maybe, 1488 01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:08,080 Speaker 1: and it has it come up at all. I don't 1489 01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:10,720 Speaker 1: have the first time you're hearing about the Viking ship. 1490 01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,200 Speaker 2: I don't have ages. No, I don't know. There's no 1491 01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:13,680 Speaker 2: ages of this. 1492 01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:15,440 Speaker 4: It was there a hell long. They've been together. 1493 01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:17,320 Speaker 5: They are in university. That's what we know. 1494 01:08:17,479 --> 01:08:20,799 Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so like twenty twenty one. 1495 01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:26,320 Speaker 1: I think, I think we're in a broken relationship break 1496 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:27,360 Speaker 1: I think breakup. 1497 01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:28,240 Speaker 5: I think breakup. 1498 01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:29,520 Speaker 7: I'm on the breakup. 1499 01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:35,040 Speaker 1: Breakup train. All right, well, we got a small update 1500 01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:36,920 Speaker 1: in the comments. I will use this for a small update. 1501 01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:39,719 Speaker 1: I wrote an email to the university. Sadly, the answer 1502 01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:41,840 Speaker 1: was not encouraging, as they asked me for proof that 1503 01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:44,439 Speaker 1: I bought the tooth, even though I wrote in there 1504 01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:47,000 Speaker 1: that I found it, So that's dumb. I will try 1505 01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:49,680 Speaker 1: to find out who's responsible for the arts department, though, 1506 01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:53,000 Speaker 1: and keep trying. And a conter I forgot my pastor said, 1507 01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:55,760 Speaker 1: can't you screenshot your text messages when he says he 1508 01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:58,200 Speaker 1: took it and you can have it back that proof 1509 01:08:58,280 --> 01:09:00,840 Speaker 1: that it doesn't belong to him. Ope, he responds, We 1510 01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:03,360 Speaker 1: sadly never directly refer to the tooth and the messages, 1511 01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:06,559 Speaker 1: but it might work. We're gonna get right into the 1512 01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:09,799 Speaker 1: rest of this update in a sec but any final 1513 01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:12,679 Speaker 1: thoughts before we go into the update that might change everything. 1514 01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:14,400 Speaker 4: I'm still on the breakup trains. 1515 01:09:14,520 --> 01:09:18,719 Speaker 1: Still on the breakup train. Angela Selton rich says the tooth, 1516 01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:24,480 Speaker 1: the whole tooth, and nothing but that tooth. Breakup am 1517 01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:28,880 Speaker 1: Chuck comment Kimberly Holly Dack's a lot of armies as 1518 01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:31,920 Speaker 1: he stole and liedop guaranteed that's not the only thing 1519 01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:34,840 Speaker 1: he's lied about or stolen. What is he going to 1520 01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:37,680 Speaker 1: lie about or steal in the future break up? I 1521 01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:41,400 Speaker 1: have my tooth back. Boyfriend threw it in my mailbox 1522 01:09:41,439 --> 01:09:43,960 Speaker 1: in an envelope without a card or anything, so I 1523 01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:45,840 Speaker 1: don't know if I'm supposed to take that as an 1524 01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:49,640 Speaker 1: apology or if he's pissed. Tooth seems unharmed. Have I 1525 01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:52,720 Speaker 1: knocked boyfriend ever since this happened, and don't know what 1526 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:55,400 Speaker 1: will happen with us. But I have the tooth back, 1527 01:09:55,479 --> 01:09:57,639 Speaker 1: and I'm actually now planning to get a tattoo of it, 1528 01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:01,000 Speaker 1: so if it ever does get lost, I will still 1529 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:04,360 Speaker 1: have it with me. Thanks for everyone assuring me that 1530 01:10:04,479 --> 01:10:07,400 Speaker 1: I was not the a hole comments hope they broke up. 1531 01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:11,360 Speaker 1: Imagine stealing someone else's sentimental items for your own selfish 1532 01:10:11,439 --> 01:10:13,800 Speaker 1: art pieces comment to honestly the fact that she got 1533 01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:16,679 Speaker 1: it back fully intact with no mention of glue, residue anything. 1534 01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:19,439 Speaker 1: I feel like the art project itself I might. 1535 01:10:19,280 --> 01:10:22,439 Speaker 4: Have been a lot because there was no super clue on. 1536 01:10:22,439 --> 01:10:24,400 Speaker 1: It, like it was under a week after when the 1537 01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:27,200 Speaker 1: university essentially told her to f off until she can 1538 01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:29,080 Speaker 1: prove it after he said it would be several months 1539 01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:31,360 Speaker 1: before the end of it. Subsition, I have no idea 1540 01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:33,439 Speaker 1: what he could have actually been doing with it, but 1541 01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:35,680 Speaker 1: I bet my house there was no art project. In 1542 01:10:35,720 --> 01:10:38,719 Speaker 1: comment three, what gets me is while it's a neat 1543 01:10:38,720 --> 01:10:43,200 Speaker 1: really neat uh find and op is right to cherish it. 1544 01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:45,479 Speaker 1: It's not like shark heath are rare you can buy 1545 01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:48,040 Speaker 1: them online. Boyfriend could have easily sourced several for his 1546 01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:50,920 Speaker 1: art project. Comment for I don't know what will happen 1547 01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:52,600 Speaker 1: with us, girl, I'm gonna need you to take that 1548 01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:54,880 Speaker 1: one again real quick. That is where that ends. 1549 01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:57,080 Speaker 2: Break up, break up, breakup. 1550 01:10:57,200 --> 01:10:58,640 Speaker 4: I would have had to see a picture of the 1551 01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,920 Speaker 4: art project to like in the moment of him saying 1552 01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:04,040 Speaker 4: your shark tooth is in an art project like I 1553 01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:05,840 Speaker 4: would have been like show me, show me, show it 1554 01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:06,559 Speaker 4: to me right now. 1555 01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:08,640 Speaker 5: Prove it, prove it. I do kind of want to 1556 01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:10,519 Speaker 5: see what that Viking ship looks like. That sounds kind 1557 01:11:10,520 --> 01:11:13,880 Speaker 5: of cool, but that is where that story ends.