1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,160 Speaker 1: Let's go buckle up and hold on tight. We got 2 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: it for you here. It is the straw. Mary Lenna 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: subject drunk dialing dilemma. Dear Stephen Shirley, I have a 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: situation that has become a huge frustration in my life, 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,440 Speaker 1: and I need advice on setting healthy boundaries with a 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: good friend so I don't seem like a prude, which 7 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: I've been called. I have a good friend who seems 8 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,799 Speaker 1: to be having a problem with alcohol lately. I don't 9 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: care what people do in their own homes and on 10 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: their own time. However, when you include me in your 11 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: mess by calling me drunk and belligerent and I can't 12 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: understand what you're saying, then you'll have to hear my 13 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: mouth when you're sober up. I have a friend that 14 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 1: loves to indulge in alcohol, and she always goes overboard 15 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,560 Speaker 1: when we're out or when she's drinking at home. I've 16 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: asked her to please stop calling me when she's inebriated, 17 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: and I don't think that's too much to ask. We 18 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: are in our late forties and it's time out for 19 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: this behavior. Consume as much alco hall as you wish, 20 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,920 Speaker 1: but don't call me and expect me to talk to 21 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 1: your drunk behind when I can barely understand what you're saying. 22 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: Nothing you're saying makes sense, and you get mad at 23 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: me when I tell you. So. The phone calls still continue, 24 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: and I've told her that she needs help when she's sober. 25 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: She's a great friend and person, so I want to 26 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: salvage the relationship. Lately, I've been ignoring her calls when 27 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: I think she may be drunk, but then I end 28 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: up frustrated and worried about her. She calls other friends too, 29 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,399 Speaker 1: and they don't seem to mind. Do you think that 30 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: I am overreacting to the situation and I am in 31 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: fact a prude? Or should I just ignore her calls 32 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: altogether and let the friendship die? Please help? Okay? I 33 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: think you're absolutely right and how you're feeling. I think 34 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: you're perfectly within your rights to feel this way about 35 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: your drunk friend. There's nothing prudish about you. I mean, 36 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: who wants to put up with this? This is foolishness? 37 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 1: Who does this? I mean, I think your friend. You're right, 38 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: Your friend needs help. She needs it right now today 39 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: because she does not know how to control her alcohol, 40 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: and she's holding you hostage as her friend by calling 41 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 1: you and talking to you drunk and getting on your 42 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: nerves and frustrating you. So, yeah, she needs help. This 43 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 1: is a bad situation. You're right, you're in your late forties. 44 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: It is time out for this behavior. You know, as 45 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: a friend, perhaps you can tell her about AA or 46 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 1: take her to Alanon or suggest Alanon to her, or 47 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: seriously stop taking her calls when she's like that. You know, 48 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: if you pick up the phone and you hear her drunk, 49 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: hang up, tell her you don't have time for this. 50 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: You have to go on with your life. This is crazy. 51 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: If you want to be a true friend, you can 52 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: do some of those things I suggested. I don't think 53 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 1: you should necessarily let the friendship go if you think 54 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: she's a great person when she's not drunk, but she 55 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: clearly needs help, and as her friend, maybe you can 56 00:02:54,240 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: lead her down that path. Steve Wow, the name of 57 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: this is a drunk dialing dilemma, which is saying that 58 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 1: this woman has a problem. She's got a good friend 59 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,959 Speaker 1: that she wants to deal with, but she don't want 60 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: to be considered a prude. She seems to be having 61 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: a problem with alcohol lately, well, let me clear up 62 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: on something. Don't nobody seems to be having a problem 63 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: with alcohol. They have a problem with alcohol. You don't 64 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: even have to don't try to soften it. She got 65 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: a problem with alcohol. Now you try to be nice. 66 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: You say you don't care what people do in their 67 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: own homes and on their own time. But when you 68 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: include me in your mass by calling me drunk and belligerent, See, 69 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 1: that's what I don't mind drunk people. I really don't. 70 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: I'm okay with drunk people. I don't like talking to them, 71 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 1: but if they drunk, it's belligerent. Now you're angry heads 72 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: drunk right, See, And drunk people don't when they belligerate, 73 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: it just sounds just it. They're the same as being drunk. 74 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 1: They just make attitude statements like you don't, I don't. 75 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 1: I don't want to be standing on your foot. Hell 76 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: you mean you don't want to be standing on my foot. 77 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: Get your drunk ass off my foot, Get your foot 78 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: from my monder my foot. Wait a minute, Wait a minute, man, 79 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 1: You see, beligerent when you drunk makes other statements you 80 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: make the people you talking to, You make them thinking 81 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: something wrong with them. Stop smiling at me. That's when 82 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: you drunk and belligerent. That's the anger in belligerent. We'll 83 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:07,840 Speaker 1: get into that a little bit more. Now, you got 84 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 1: a friend that loves indulging alcohol, and she go overboard 85 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: when we out and when she's drinking at home. You've 86 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: asked her the police stop calling you when she's inebriated. 87 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: I don't see you are approved because she inebriated, she drunk. 88 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: Stop using big ass words, real small ass situation. She 89 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 1: just drunk. Now, I don't think that's too much to ask. 90 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 1: Here's your other problem. We are in our late forties, yes, yes, Now, 91 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: drunk people in their forties it's hard to talk to. 92 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 1: And you know why because they have forty years of 93 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 1: mess to draw on to bring up. You remember when 94 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: we was kids and you didn't let me go back 95 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 1: then pull your wagon. Kids don't even have wagons anymore. 96 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: So when young people here, forty year old people argon, 97 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: they justice confused. What wagon is aunt Ella talking about? Wagon? 98 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 1: Is she fell off the wagon? Now her wagon? Who 99 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 1: has a wagon? You see? And it's very confusing. So 100 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 1: when drunk people consume alcohol and they're older, they have 101 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 1: a lot and so now you're faced with a lot 102 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,480 Speaker 1: of problems. So when we come back, what I'm gonna 103 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: do is I'm gonna give you a list of things 104 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: that drunk people say that they claim is your fault, 105 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 1: but it's really they fault. This is the problem when 106 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: you're drunk and belligerent. It'd be different if you was 107 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,719 Speaker 1: drunk and happy. Oh I'm sorry, am I all your foot? 108 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 1: I keep stepping the old people's feet. See that's different. 109 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: But the belligerent person stop putting your foot under my 110 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: foot tomorrow today drunk dyaling dilemma. This lady's tired of 111 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: her drunk as forty something year old friend call her. 112 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: She gets tired of her ass, and she really wants 113 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: to find a way to deal with this situation. That's 114 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: all this letters. She got a drunk forty something year 115 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: old friend and she tired of her, and she want 116 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: to know how she can talk to her and get 117 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: her to either stop drinking or quick calling her, or 118 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 1: she stopped just answering her phone and let the friendship die. 119 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: First of all, let me help you with something. This 120 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: is not a friendship. Why do you keep calling it 121 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: the friendship when she brings nothing to the table that 122 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:58,679 Speaker 1: helps you all she do is aggravates you because she drunk. 123 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: So now let's do a series of things that drunk 124 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: people say that do not make sense. But because she's beligerent, 125 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: it's really your fault too. Okay, Okay, you're ready, m 126 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: let's go. Yes, I drank the last other kool aid? 127 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: Who who left it in there? If it wasn't in now? 128 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: I wanted for drinking? What drunk? Now? Ask me anything? Surely? 129 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: And I answered as a beligerarly drunk person. Have you 130 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: seen my shoes when I came home? I took him 131 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: off right at the door. Were Hell? Yeah, I saw 132 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 1: your shoes at the dough. That's why I put them outside. 133 00:08:55,360 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: What they was at the dough? They must have wanted out? 134 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 1: Are we watching a game of Thrones this week? Or what? Together? 135 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 1: I don't use the bad flu like that? Oh? Anybody drunk? 136 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:26,840 Speaker 1: These are drunk people responses? Who are beligion? Anybody? Just 137 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: any question? Caller junior? Hey, why is you mad at 138 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 1: my brother because he your brother? Oh? That makes sense. 139 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: You don't know that. You don't know who your brother is? 140 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: See you you stupid? Hey? Are you drunk? No? Is 141 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 1: your eyes big? Are big? Well? I'm drunk, because you 142 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: sure sound like it, you know, jot you are about 143 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: to sound for me? Hey, would you like a cup 144 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: of coffee? I think you need for no damn coffee? 145 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: You don't kill my hot? Thanks? I drink on this 146 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: looking for ain't got no room in me for no coffee? 147 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: No what ain't no room and for me for coffee? 148 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: For me? I don't know why? Why? Why you don't 149 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: love me? Oh? I do love? Did you? I do love? 150 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 1: Did you? Don't start crying? You know? Sometimes if you 151 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: had loved me back, I would have loved you too, 152 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 1: but I stopped because of that black bastard. Angry angry, 153 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm that question. Where's your where's your husband? Hood? Why 154 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: don't you call him when you're drunk? Why do you 155 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 1: keep calling me all the time? Because he is in 156 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: their sleep? We didn't yeah, oh whoah, and he just 157 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 1: went to sleep. Yeah, it's pretty late. I'd be in 158 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 1: that sleep too, but he won't unlock the door. Don't 159 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: you have to go to work tomorrow? I don't care 160 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: out about to work. Aren't you the boss? The boss? Yeah? 161 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,080 Speaker 1: I don't you the boss of work? Everybody gonna make 162 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: me no, I'm the boss of me. How many people 163 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: do you call when you belligate at night? When you 164 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 1: call everybody into my phone? This? As soon as you answer, 165 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:06,600 Speaker 1: i'd be mad. He took you so long? Beigerent man. Yeah, 166 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: you really aren't angry drunk. I'm not angry for sure. 167 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 1: For sure, I like that. I'm not angry. Kay. Do 168 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: you get sleepy at all? Dude? Does drinking make you 169 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 1: go to sleep or anything? I mean, after you've called 170 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: all these people? Sometimes I like drunk. I'll be scratch 171 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: it when I be sleeping. I'm I'm sleeping now. But 172 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 1: where you you got my bed? No? No, my bed? 173 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 1: You can't here? Have your beds? M damn you shot 174 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: and can't here. I'm talking to you. What's your drink 175 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: of choice? Are you a brown liquor alcoholic? Yeah? I like, 176 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 1: I like, I like look, I like yeah, I like 177 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: mixed drink. I like reefun with it? Wow? Uh? What 178 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:22,199 Speaker 1: is to keep? To keef? And to keep? Oh? I 179 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 1: don't moonshine taste not too good? Oh shin? But I 180 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 1: have his wife for in the mind. He comes over, 181 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 1: he has it in his trailer. I go by there 182 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 1: some time, but we be getting told out he has 183 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: it in his trailer. He has it in his trailer. 184 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: Thin moonshine come from? What is wrong with you? Your bulls? 185 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: What did you loose? Your thing? Just making moonshine? They 186 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 1: ain't making it down after stop moonshine illegal Jesus. Okay, 187 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 1: I can't even tell no jokes around him? Oh yes 188 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: you can now you just want to belee plify correct 189 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:10,439 Speaker 1: and then mess up the jokes just like Seinfeld said. 190 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: Thank you. You can email us or instagram us your 191 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 1: thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FF. I 192 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 1: note I'm closing my Infangraham account, or you can check 193 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to 194 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show.