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Speaker 1: You ever been dating someone and suddenly realized, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this person's a total idiot. I missed that.

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Speaker 2: Every girl that's ever dated me. I'm a figure it out.

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Speaker 3: Eventually.

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Speaker 2: It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's an ex, maybe it's the person you're currently with,

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Speaker 1: or maybe it's you.

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Speaker 2: For us like yourself. It usually is.

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Speaker 1: But I only bring it up because recently a new

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Speaker 1: survey came out asking people to share their best I'm

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Speaker 1: dating an idiot stories.

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Speaker 2: We found the funniest ones.

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Speaker 1: Number eight on the list says, my ex boyfriend cooked

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Speaker 1: dinner and secretly put shrimp in my food to see

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Speaker 1: if I was actually allergic to shelfish or if I

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Speaker 1: was just being dramatic.

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Speaker 2: My gosh, I have a friend who will die, like

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Speaker 2: literally die.

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Speaker 1: What?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Like that could to actually be like something where

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Speaker 3: you could get arrested for that.

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Speaker 1: It required an EpiPen and a trip to the e

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Speaker 1: R God he found out.

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Speaker 2: No, I was not lying. It's not like a cat allergy,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like, well, it's good to just make sure that your

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Speaker 1: significant others are being honest with you all the time,

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Speaker 1: because honesty is important.

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Speaker 2: Peanut butter Next.

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Speaker 1: Yes number seven, My date tried to argue with me

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Speaker 1: about whether babies can breathe underwater. He said they can

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Speaker 1: because they haven't fully lost their gills from the wound.

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Speaker 1: That's I'm not sure what birds in the Bees class

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Speaker 1: he took, but I definitely want to sign up for that.

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Speaker 3: Why do I feel like there's at least four men

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Speaker 3: listening that are like, yeah, duh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's an ambilical board, gentlemen. Yes number six.

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Speaker 1: My ex boyfriend and I got into a heated debate

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Speaker 1: about whether or not dinosaurs were around during the American Revolution.

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Speaker 1: He was one hundred percent certain t rex was roaming

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Speaker 1: the earth while George Washington was crossing the Delaware.

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Speaker 3: I remember a t rex in the background of that painting,

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Speaker 3: you know, the famous one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just over the water. Jefferson rides one into battle.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, God, was that a velociraptor.

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Speaker 2: I can never the difference between the dinosaurs.

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Speaker 1: We're looking at a survey where people share their funniest

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Speaker 1: I'm dating a total idiot. Stories Number five. I went

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Speaker 1: out with a woman who complained the temperature in her

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Speaker 1: house never changed even when she adjusted the thermostat.

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Speaker 2: She couldn't.

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Speaker 1: She couldn't understand why she was always feeling hot or cold.

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Speaker 1: Turns out she left the sticker over the digital thermometer

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Speaker 1: and that's why it always said seventy two degrees.

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Speaker 2: My god, says that's so funny. I mean, honestly, like

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Speaker 2: that's dumb. But I feel like I could accidentally do that.

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Speaker 1: You're shivering in your home and you know it's not

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Speaker 1: seventy two one.

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Speaker 3: Is that the problem with this studio? Yeah, it is

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Speaker 3: always saying here and he says it's seventy one. Is

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Speaker 3: it's like, does someone take the sticker off?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. We gotta go check out when we're done.

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Speaker 2: You're idiot.

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Speaker 1: Number four we were talking about where to go out

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Speaker 1: to eat for dinner. I suggested an Italian restaurant. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she said she hated Italian.

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Speaker 2: And wanted a place with more options.

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Speaker 1: So we went to Cheesecake Factory, where she ordered lasagna.

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Speaker 2: They'd be like, oh, man, but I love Boston. She's like,

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Speaker 2: it's American.

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Speaker 3: It's cheesecake.

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Speaker 2: By the way.

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Speaker 1: For just tuning in and you're unimpressed with the intelligence

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Speaker 1: of your significant other, this is gonna make you feel

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Speaker 1: a whole lot better I stories about your people, because

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Speaker 1: we're going over the funniest stories from people who realized

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Speaker 1: they were dating a total idiot. Number three on the list.

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Speaker 1: In the movie seven spoiler alert, here all the characters

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Speaker 1: die for committing one of the seven deadly sins.

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Speaker 3: That's such a good movie. Have you seen that Alexis's pitt.

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Speaker 2: It's really good. She says.

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Speaker 1: In the scene that shows the word gluttony written on

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Speaker 1: the wall, my ex boyfriend said, gluten gluten, Gluten kills.

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Speaker 2: G up for life. Baby. Oh god, she's eating bread.

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Speaker 2: She's gonna die.

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Speaker 1: Number two and Brooke, You're gonna like this one. It

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Speaker 1: says I dated a woman who thought Mark Twain was

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Speaker 1: Shanaia Twain's husband. That's why she wrote the song Tom

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Speaker 1: Sawyer Don't Impress Me Seriously, move over, Beyonce and jay Z,

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Speaker 1: Mark Twain, Shannaia Power Couple.

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Speaker 3: Huck Finzer Baby, and the number one I'm dating an

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Speaker 3: idiot story from this survey says I used to date

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Speaker 3: a woman who genuinely thought the sun and the moon

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Speaker 3: were the same thing.

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Speaker 1: She explained the moon is just the sun when it

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Speaker 1: runs out of fuel at the end of the day

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Speaker 1: and it's dim like a flashlight losing battery and then

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Speaker 1: it gets recharged.

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Speaker 2: Right, It's like if it's one of those shake ones too.

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Speaker 2: These people not know what Google is.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I understand that their education system failed them.

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Speaker 3: But like, honestly, the answers are right at our fingertips

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Speaker 3: these days.

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Speaker 1: And we do have an honorable mention on this list,

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Speaker 1: not in the top ten. My ex boyfriend thought his

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Speaker 1: car was stolen, filed the police report. Turns out he'd

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Speaker 1: driven it across the street to buy a soda at

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Speaker 1: the store, walked home and forgot he moved it there.

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Speaker 3: Really, hose you, you definitely have hot your car with stolen.

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Speaker 3: I used to he's a a parketing new spot every

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Speaker 3: single day, Alexis. He would call it to the show

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Speaker 3: and be like, I'm gonna be late today. I can't

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Speaker 3: find Mark.

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Speaker 2: Fact.

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Speaker 1: Jose was nine of the ten top answers on this list. Congratulations, Josey,

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Speaker 1: I'm cute if you're looking for that's right.

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Speaker 3: That's right. You can't be hot and smart.

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Speaker 2: It's just no one can have it.

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Speaker 1: That's too much of a powerhouse. That's like Mark Twain,

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Speaker 1: Shania Twain. Those were the best I'm dating in idiot stories.

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Speaker 1: Phone tap is coming up right after this.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.