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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. Guys, and if you

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Speaker 1: need advice and relationships on sex, on dating, on parenting,

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Speaker 1: on work, and more, please please submit your Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: to Steve HARVEYFM dot com. I tried to sound like

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Speaker 1: you on Matt one, nephew and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're gonna read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here.

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Speaker 1: It is Strawberry Letter. Okay, I gotta do a disclaimer

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Speaker 1: on this one because it's a little could be a

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Speaker 1: little graphic, so if you have young children in the car, parents,

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Speaker 1: please be aware of that. Okay subject, How often should

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Speaker 1: you get a massage? Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a

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Speaker 1: thirty year old man and I love working out. I

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Speaker 1: started a new very intense workout routine last month and

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Speaker 1: my trainer suggested that I get a good deep tissue

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Speaker 1: massage to get out the kinks. So I scheduled a

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Speaker 1: ninety minute deep tissue massage with a massage therapist. It's

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Speaker 1: an in home massage service that came highly recommended by

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Speaker 1: my trainer. A day later, A female therapist showed up

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Speaker 1: in my house, and I was surprised at how beautiful

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Speaker 1: and in shape she was. She sat up the massage

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Speaker 1: table in the den and I got on top of

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Speaker 1: the table, face down in my underwear. She advised me

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Speaker 1: to get totally undressed so she could work every muscle,

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Speaker 1: including my glutes. I was naked, only covered by a sheet.

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Speaker 1: As she carefully rubbed each muscle in my body, she

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Speaker 1: whispered for me to roll over on my back. She

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Speaker 1: worked on my neck and my shoulders. Then she moved

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Speaker 1: down to my legs and leaned over to whisper, may

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Speaker 1: I may. I shook. I shook my head. This is

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Speaker 1: my letter. I shook my head. Yes, and this fine

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Speaker 1: female therapist grabbed a muscle that I normally don't get massaged,

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Speaker 1: lay there quietly as yeah, as she massaged it. And

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Speaker 1: she even yeah, she even went downtown. I was speechless.

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Speaker 1: She even went downtown. Yeah. Yeah, we can't read, but

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Speaker 1: it means the same thing. Okay, I was speechless, but

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Speaker 1: I was praying that my wife didn't walk in. Yes

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Speaker 1: I'm married, God, but but ye, yes, I'm married. But

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Speaker 1: there is no way I was going to stop this

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Speaker 1: massage therapist because she handled me way better than my

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Speaker 1: wife ever has a Yeah, shut up, I tipped her

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Speaker 1: well and she left. Now I'm not stupid enough to

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Speaker 1: have an affair, but I really really need to see

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Speaker 1: her again. After all, my trainer did tell me that

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Speaker 1: I should get regular massages. There's got to be some

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Speaker 1: way I can justify this, Steve, I need your advice.

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Speaker 1: See yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, Threeve, I need

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Speaker 1: your advice. Yeah yeah, all right, I'm right you answering

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Speaker 1: the question, I'm I'm I'm about my head and prayer. Okay. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's saying he can't be stupid enough to have an affair.

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Speaker 1: But smart people have affairs. Okay, and if you think

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Speaker 1: you're smart, uh, you know, listen, smart people have affairs.

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Speaker 1: How do you think affairs get started? They get started

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Speaker 1: in some sometimes in these ways, certainly massages sometimes then

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Speaker 1: repeat massages like you want to do. Come on, Mary man, Uh,

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Speaker 1: your trainer and this massus have quite a hustle going

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Speaker 1: on here. Uh, so please be careful never ever write

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Speaker 1: her a check, because what you don't want is for

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Speaker 1: your wife. Well, you stated in the letter, dummy, very

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Speaker 1: clearly that it's not better. She's not better than the

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Speaker 1: masseuse at handling you. I mean, come on, what if

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Speaker 1: your wife comes in and catches you? Okay, do you

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Speaker 1: think about these things? The other thing you have to

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Speaker 1: stop is letting this massus, this massage therapist come into

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Speaker 1: your home and massage you. There's no way you can

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Speaker 1: justify that continually. All right. Your wife could come in

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Speaker 1: and walk in on you at any time. What are

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Speaker 1: you gonna do? Then? Okay, you waited till the very

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Speaker 1: end of the letter to tell us you were married,

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Speaker 1: after you sucked us all in anyway after one, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure after I heard me. We're all caught up in

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Speaker 1: the letter. And then he drops the bomb that he's married.

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Speaker 1: All right, he needs to stop this immediately, you know,

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Speaker 1: especially at his home he's gonna I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: how affairs start. Right here. The writing is, don't do it.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it, all right, Steve? Come on, I hear

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Speaker 1: your prayers. I hear your prayers. I'll make me proud

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Speaker 1: for I don't listen to thank you, listen to me.

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Speaker 1: Just thirty old man loves working out. I don't. I

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Speaker 1: work out just so I don't look like certain people

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Speaker 1: I know that's the only reason I work out. If

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Speaker 1: that was appeal that could get the stomach off, I

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Speaker 1: take it. I promise you I would. I started a

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Speaker 1: very intense workout routine and uh trainer told you to

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Speaker 1: get a deep tissue with shots. Get out to kings

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Speaker 1: scheduled a ninety minute when massage stairs was reprimmentded by

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Speaker 1: your trainings inner home therapist. A day later, this woman

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Speaker 1: show up after doing Lord her Mercy. She was fine,

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Speaker 1: scared Wait a minute, I am scared sharing because he's

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Speaker 1: asking me for helping. I ain't got nothing for his ass.

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Speaker 1: She set up the massage table into the den. I

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Speaker 1: got the table face down well as you should, in

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Speaker 1: your underwear as you should. She advised me to get

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Speaker 1: totally undressed so she could work every muscle, including my glutes.

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Speaker 1: Now let's stop right there. First of all, we're in

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Speaker 1: your house. If a fine woman is in your house

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Speaker 1: and tells you to take your draws off, we're in trouble. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I get this massage without taking my draws off,

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Speaker 1: and she wanted to work every muscle, include my glutes.

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Speaker 1: That's his as Hold up, Once you touch my ass

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Speaker 1: with your head and I don't have draws on. There

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Speaker 1: is a reaction that come with that. I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to tell you that we'll be back. Yeah. Well, well

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Speaker 1: that first two of Steve's response coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three after the hour. Today's a letter? How often should

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Speaker 1: you get a massage? We'll be back right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening show, all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap

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Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter, which you are so mad about the

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Speaker 1: subject her family and ghetto and she doesn't know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: tell me what. Most ghetto people don't know. They get

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Speaker 1: on because they're from the ghetto. That's just where they from,

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Speaker 1: That's just where they live. Now, you sitting up been

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Speaker 1: here because both your parents got college degrees, worked hard,

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Speaker 1: you and your siblings. You mad twenty great woman two teenage,

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Speaker 1: both of y'all got degreed, you met in college. But

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Speaker 1: you can't stay in her family where her family probably

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Speaker 1: can't stand you either. Your bullish, your ass coming over.

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Speaker 1: See there there are a lot of they lack for

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Speaker 1: a better turn. Yeah, here comes his snobby ass sitting

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Speaker 1: up in here. You don't like nothing they do down there,

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna tell you about him. I must admit

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Speaker 1: that as the kids grew up. I limited their access

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Speaker 1: to my wife's side of family, but had to be

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Speaker 1: careful not to film these people who they have a

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Speaker 1: cookout for everything. See, you think your kids is well

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Speaker 1: manned and smart kids, but they don't got no read smarts.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean. It's stupid ass book smart people.

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Speaker 1: I know. Bill Gates ain't got a college degree. Mark

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Speaker 1: Zuckerberg ain't got a college degree. Hold on, let me

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Speaker 1: show you. So let's get it rid of them. We're

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Speaker 1: talking about college green Timmy got a college degree. Oh

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Speaker 1: my don't have a college degree. Now, which one us

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Speaker 1: you want your kids to be? You want your kids

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Speaker 1: Timmy got a college degree. I ain't who you want

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Speaker 1: your kids to be, probably neither one of us. But

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Speaker 1: if you had to pick one, would you pick his

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Speaker 1: stupid ass? That's all I'm asking. You got a college degree,

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Speaker 1: ain't got a damn brain in his school. So much

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Speaker 1: for your little damn college degree. They have a cookout

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Speaker 1: for every occasion. They live on the Stame Street in

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Speaker 1: five or six mobile homes. They always down the party,

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Speaker 1: play cars and dre Damn it, what's wrong with that?

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Speaker 1: You got to do something? We've been working all week.

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Speaker 1: We got to have some fun. We ain't got a

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Speaker 1: whole lot of money, so we're gonna play cars. That's

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Speaker 1: what doesn't matter. What your punk ass kids. They don't

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Speaker 1: know how to play spade. They can't play dead whiz,

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Speaker 1: they don't know how to or they don't play tongue.

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Speaker 1: They don't shoot dice. You little punk ass kids gonna

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Speaker 1: go off to college. Ain't gonna do a damn thing.

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Speaker 1: He gonna get the ass hustle. They're gonna go in

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Speaker 1: Time Square. Somebody gonna have a three card model game

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Speaker 1: set up. Take all your little ignorant ass kids money.

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Speaker 1: Somebody gonna have to share game set up. Take all

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Speaker 1: your kids money. Oh yeah, they're gonna but they're gonna

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Speaker 1: go visit everybody go to Times Square. Your little kids

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Speaker 1: gonna come back broke. The kids always a part of

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Speaker 1: the festivities. Your kids probably need to learn how to

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Speaker 1: play tongue. I hell, you grow up, don't know how

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Speaker 1: to play tongue. You can't shoot no damn pool. My

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Speaker 1: wife want our children to get they know their cousins.

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Speaker 1: Because your wife is right, because she know you ain't

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Speaker 1: taught them a damn thing. Set up here and taught

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Speaker 1: them all that book knowledge and all that next over

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Speaker 1: and they're getting their ass whipped every time they go

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Speaker 1: to the playground. He did not what I'm telling. If

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Speaker 1: you want to sound this is what I'm reading in

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Speaker 1: the letter. I'm reading all this in the letter. Your

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Speaker 1: wife want them to know their cousins cause they damn

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Speaker 1: dad is soft. They didn't last long costing hood cousins.

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Speaker 1: They want them to come over and could start teasing

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Speaker 1: your children about the way they speaking, how they care themselves.

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Speaker 1: They ain't the last time they're gonna hit this. The

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Speaker 1: hood cousins was getting them ready for life. Why are

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Speaker 1: you mad because they're sitting up in here and not

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Speaker 1: not not honoring the value of these hood cousins. It's

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Speaker 1: good in the hood. You need to let these hood

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Speaker 1: tease your kids about the way they speak. They probably

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Speaker 1: speak real properly, just like your hands. One of my

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Speaker 1: sons be graduated from high school. My wife got a

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Speaker 1: party playing. She want to invite her and tie party

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Speaker 1: to the five family to the party that's in our

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Speaker 1: community center in our neighborhood. Oh oh, I see you

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Speaker 1: live in a complex that's got a community center. Oh,

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Speaker 1: now you're gonna, Oh you scared the hood people gonna

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Speaker 1: come over the start swimming with all their clothes on

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Speaker 1: and stuff like that. Gonna bring us grill out there,

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Speaker 1: because you know, we travel with grills in our car.

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Speaker 1: I had a grill in my car till I was

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Speaker 1: thirty four years old. Sorry to mention, Yeah, kepta, grill

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Speaker 1: in my car, charcoal, light of fluid too, and a

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Speaker 1: fishing rod. Hell yeah, hey, never know when I run

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Speaker 1: acrossing the lake, I need some need. I was homeless.

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Speaker 1: I ain't no time to do them this punk ass letter,

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Speaker 1: and you were sitting up in here. I politely remind

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Speaker 1: her how much of fiasco it'll be if I invite

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Speaker 1: them people over there, But she did sit on, having

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Speaker 1: her family clue. I can imagine the dice game jumping

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Speaker 1: off by the pool if they uncle come, who don't

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Speaker 1: like to shoot dice? Hell no, I know you ain't

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Speaker 1: say we can't shoot dice. He we can't shoot dice.

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Speaker 1: Were at the swimming pool. People don't swim, So what

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Speaker 1: they gonna do? All Your uncle can't swim? He got

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Speaker 1: some dice were standing around. We do it, and then

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Speaker 1: you hold on shut we're shooting. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be disrespectful. I need to put my foot down. You

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Speaker 1: can kick the dice. Put your foot down if they roll,

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Speaker 1: kick it forward, hit point. You could kick a dice,

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Speaker 1: get a rethrown fade. Why can I make this party work?

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Speaker 1: Your ass? Don't go now what you want to ask?

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Speaker 1: So you're rolling around with a fishing pole because you

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Speaker 1: get hungry. So you'll go get some fish and then

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Speaker 1: catch it and bring it back and cooking on the

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Speaker 1: grill that's in your car. No, I take it up

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Speaker 1: to the rest area because they got some cassinn grills

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Speaker 1: already dug into the ground. We threw parties my brother.

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Speaker 1: My brother still got card parties at his house. When

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Speaker 1: my older brother died. We stopped for six months because

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Speaker 1: we was morning. But we're back now. Thank you your comments. Son,

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