1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,280 Speaker 1: It was good that they gave us all these options 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: because otherwise I don't know what I would have done. 3 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: I would have honestly, we were talking about should I 4 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: cut back hours so that I can homeschool the kids 5 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: if I have to send them back, or do I 6 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: have to quit my job and we have to cut 7 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,639 Speaker 1: you know, expenses and make sure we adjust our budget 8 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 1: so that we can keep the family. 9 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 2: Safe from futuro media. It's Latino, USA. I'm Maria Ino 10 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 2: josaf and today the parents are not all right. I'm 11 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 2: in the virtual studio today with producer Ginnie Montalbo. Hey, Genie, 12 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,639 Speaker 2: I'm waving to you all the way from Harlem. 13 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 3: Hey Maria, I'm in Queens. 14 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 2: So Genie, we're talking about our favorite topic today, parenting, 15 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 2: right yeah. 16 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 3: And parenting in twenty twenty is a whole new level 17 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 3: of parenting. 18 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 2: You know what. I have adult children now, so honestly, 19 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 2: I am so thankful that I do not have to 20 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 2: be raising little kids during this time. I just can't imagine. 21 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 2: So what have you been doing? Because how old is 22 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 2: your little boy? 23 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 3: Now? My thing is turning three. It's been an adventure. 24 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 3: I don't know how else to put it. 25 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 2: But in this adventure, you're not really going anywhere, right. 26 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 3: No, it's an adventure within the four walls of our apartment. 27 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 2: So what's it been like? Like, how do you even 28 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 2: manage it? 29 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 3: I don't some days, and some days I do. I 30 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,119 Speaker 3: had to cut back to part time, so when everything 31 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 3: shut down, I just tried to manage the best I could. 32 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 3: But it became too much. I was burnt out. I 33 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 3: was trying to work at night. I was trying to 34 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 3: work in his naptimes, and also like switching gears from 35 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 3: mom to trying to like write an email or work. 36 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 3: I can't multitask. I can't if I have a toddler 37 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 3: running around in the background running my life like he's 38 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 3: the boss. I can hear Marting in the background saying mummy. 39 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 2: Is But yeah, you know, you just kind of deal 40 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 2: with it. 41 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, I have to say in the beginning, the only 42 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 3: way I made it through was my coffee in the 43 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 3: morning and passing the torch to the wine that I 44 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 3: would have at the end of the day. 45 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 2: I know you're tired, Genie as a parent, but the 46 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,359 Speaker 2: thing is is that when people are tired, they're like, 47 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 2: oh my god, the last thing I want to do 48 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 2: is go to work. But for you, you're like, I'm tired. 49 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,839 Speaker 2: I really want to go to work. 50 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I just want to work without distractions. Like 51 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 3: how many times a day do I have Martine running 52 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 3: in here and being like mummy and like ohla, you know, 53 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,679 Speaker 3: and he wants to play and like you know, and 54 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 3: it's nice on some level, but I really just want 55 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 3: to focus for an eight hour day without a distraction. 56 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 3: And it's because it's really hard to switch gears. I 57 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 3: feel like women are good at multitasking, but this is 58 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 3: not one of those. I want a parent when I 59 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 3: need to parent, and I want to work when I 60 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 3: need to work. I can't do both at the same time. 61 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 2: So this whole thing about the schools being closed down 62 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 2: like New York City, like they tried to never close 63 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,080 Speaker 2: the schools down, right. 64 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, So the fact that they did shut down, and 65 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 3: they shut down all around the country poses a really 66 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 3: big challenge because not everybody can set up for remote learning. 67 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 3: I mean, not everybody has internet. Some kids only get 68 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 3: their meals if they're going to school, So it really 69 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 3: has been a challenge on a lot of different levels. 70 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 2: So you decided that you, like all good parents, you're like, Okay, 71 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 2: I need to talk to other parents and commiserate and 72 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 2: think and see how other people are doing it. So 73 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 2: you did gather a group of parents, I guess virtually right. 74 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I did, because there's been a slew of articles 75 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 3: about the mental load that everybody is dealing with as parents, 76 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 3: because you're not meant to do both things at once, 77 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 3: like you can't parent and work full time. That's why 78 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 3: childcare exists. And none of this was meant to be 79 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 3: a long term solution. But I do want to say 80 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,160 Speaker 3: before we start that even though we have all been 81 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 3: affected by the pandemic, all of us participating in today's 82 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 3: roundtable have been fortunate enough to still be working in 83 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 3: some format. So we're all healthy and we're all grateful 84 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,719 Speaker 3: for that, but we're barely hanging on by a thread. 85 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 3: So here we go. I want to welcome from Dallas, Texas. 86 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,280 Speaker 3: We have Ordincia. 87 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 4: Cabas, Hi, how are you? 88 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 3: Thank you for having me, so glad you're here. I 89 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 3: have Joe Marventura from Richmond, California. 90 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 5: Hither thanks for having me. 91 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 3: And I have Jehida Alan Castro from Orlando, Florida. 92 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 6: Hey, thank you, Jeanie. 93 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 3: Thanks for having me and just disclaimer, so everyone knows 94 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 3: Tohida and I have actually known each other for like 95 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 3: twenty years, so no surprises there a little bit, all right, 96 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 3: So I just want to quickly go around the virtual 97 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 3: room and tell me about your kids and what you do. 98 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 4: This is ourthans. 99 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 7: Yeah, I am in Dallas, as you said, I have 100 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 7: two little girls. One will be ten in three weeks, 101 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 7: the other one will be four in two weeks, and 102 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 7: I for a full time I'm a digital marketing manager 103 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 7: for Mary Kay Corporate here in Dallas. 104 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:42,040 Speaker 5: Great, Jomar, Hi, Yeah, I'm Jomar and I am in Richmond, California. 105 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 5: That's you know, the Bay Area, and my little one 106 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 5: is turning three months and I teach elementary school. So 107 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 5: juggling the new definition of a teacher and first time 108 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 5: parent has been a very very interesting adventure. 109 00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 3: And a Hida. 110 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 6: So, I have two kids. 111 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: My son is ten years old and my daughter is 112 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 1: about to be eight in a few weeks, and I 113 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:11,119 Speaker 1: am assistants engineer for Lockheed Martin. But I work from home, 114 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: so I've been a telecommuter since two thousand and five. 115 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,599 Speaker 3: Okay, so we're going to start from the beginning, I think, 116 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:18,919 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know about the rest of you, 117 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 3: but I think we all were kind of like, oh, 118 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 3: this is going to be a few weeks. We can 119 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 3: do this, no big deal. But walk me through personally 120 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 3: what each of you guys had to go through and like, 121 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 3: what kind of plan you came up with to get 122 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 3: by for the end of the school year. 123 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 7: Well, for us, like all of you, we've had to adjust. 124 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 7: We did not work from home. Originally, we were released 125 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 7: for spring break and never came back. We were told 126 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 7: we were going to stay and do e learning, and 127 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,720 Speaker 7: so it was a shock. 128 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 4: I'm not going to lie. My husband and I freaked 129 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 4: out a little bit. 130 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 7: But then we had to pivot really quickly, Right, what 131 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 7: are we going to do? Do we have the right equipment? 132 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 7: Do we have the right set up at the house. 133 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 7: Both of our kids are in the same school, so 134 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 7: that was one good thing because it was new to everybody, 135 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 7: so the school didn't know what they were doing, We 136 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 7: didn't know what we were doing. The girls were like, 137 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 7: what's going on? So the ambiguity of it all was 138 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 7: really challenging for all of us. But we just started 139 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 7: getting a routine down our dining room became our command center. 140 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 7: So I would say the first two weeks were horrible. 141 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 7: I'm not going to lie, but I think we've all pivoted. 142 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 7: We've all done what we can. And so I was 143 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 7: pivoting at home, I was pivoting at work. I was 144 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 7: pivoting even with myself, Like how am I going to 145 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 7: take time for myself and not, you. 146 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 4: Know, lose it. 147 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 7: Yeah, but I'm not alone. 148 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 4: I'm sure I'm not alone alone. 149 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 6: Yeah, we're not alone in this. 150 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 3: And Diana, what about you? 151 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: So for us, we did the same thing. We set 152 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: them up in the dining room. I had all their 153 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: supplies in the middle, and we didn't have any live 154 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: teacher instruction. 155 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 6: There weren't even really zoom calls or anything like that. 156 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 6: At the beginning. They were like their own with us. 157 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 1: I just made sure that they got on, listened to 158 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: their little videos, clicked and checked off everything they were 159 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: supposed to do. There was a lot of email communications. 160 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: It was like being off one hundred percent homeschooled mom 161 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: while working. 162 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 6: It was kind of a nightmare, you know. 163 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: The screen time limits kind of went out the window 164 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: a little bit because mom and dad have to work. 165 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 4: Right, everybody everybody. I felt so guilty, right, the guilt. 166 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 6: It's a real thing. 167 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 3: So much guilt. But I think most of the times 168 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 3: it was literally the only way to get through an email. 169 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 3: So I've kind of learned to let it go some 170 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 3: of the times. So Joe mar you guys were dealing 171 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 3: with the end of a pregnancy at that point. How 172 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 3: was that right? 173 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 5: So you know, I believe around March spreen break, it's 174 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 5: when you know, the hospitals and everything got a lot stricter, 175 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 5: and so I was not able to go to the checkups. 176 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 5: You know, that was that was rough. I was able 177 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,439 Speaker 5: to go to the birth, which you know was great, 178 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 5: but the whole time, you know, I mean I was 179 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 5: reading like a doula book, like I was our dueler. 180 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 5: I was prepping. I was like, let me do, let 181 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 5: me do my part, and like all that was out 182 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 5: the window because it may or may not be in 183 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 5: the room. And at work as a teacher, we had 184 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 5: a complete overhaul. Also, I was having to pick and 185 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 5: choose what things I would personally participate in because I 186 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 5: have asthma. 187 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 3: That definitely complicates things. But I'm curious, once the baby 188 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 3: was born, what decision you guys made and you know, 189 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 3: I assume your wife was on maternity leave for most 190 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 3: of the summer. 191 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 5: Do tell yes, yes, over the summer, Yes, she was 192 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 5: on family leave and sort of the planning of daycare 193 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 5: for us was, you know, to delay dake care as 194 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 5: much as possible. So yeah, and the plan was or is, 195 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 5: I'm not quite sure where we're at, but to have 196 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 5: my mom come up and support myself and be with 197 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 5: the baby and you know, be part of the kid's 198 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 5: life and so and even that, well, that's a very 199 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 5: tough decision. I mean, like it's been three months and 200 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,560 Speaker 5: the only faces you've seen are you know, hospital staff, 201 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,439 Speaker 5: and that like breaks my heart, you know. 202 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 3: Oh yeah. For us, we had our son in preschool 203 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 3: near my job actually, so I would commute with him 204 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 3: in and drop him off. So it was very difficult 205 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 3: that at first, most of the time, I did the 206 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 3: bulk of my work during nap time and at night, 207 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 3: which you know isn't ideal because if you're working late 208 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 3: at night, then I'm also have to be like on 209 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,199 Speaker 3: at seven am when he decides that it's time to 210 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 3: get up. So and I wonder in my personal case, 211 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 3: I actually had to cut back to part time because 212 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 3: basically it was like I had three different jobs. You know, 213 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 3: I was taking care of my toddler, I was working 214 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 3: full time, and so I'm wondering, did any of you 215 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 3: guys have to make changes to your schedules because lack 216 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 3: of childcare or anything like that. 217 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean for me, they expected me. 218 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 1: You know, every minute of my day has to be 219 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: accounted for, so I had to make sure that I 220 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,960 Speaker 1: put in all my hours regardless of what was happening 221 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: during the daytime. What I ended up doing at the 222 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: beginning was I told my team, I said, look, I 223 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: can get my kids through school by like two PM. 224 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: I can check email, sky by an IM things like 225 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: that I can do, but please don't schedule meetings during 226 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: that time because I got to make sure that they're 227 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: on and they're getting their stuff done, and then I 228 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,959 Speaker 1: would just work whenever they finished up until, however, late 229 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,720 Speaker 1: at night. I needed to on the weekends in the 230 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: evenings to make up the rest of my time and 231 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:27,920 Speaker 1: get my stuff done. 232 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 6: And that was pretty much from March all the way through. 233 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 3: Summer, which is obviously not sustainable. 234 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 7: What it ends, Yea, I was going to say, my 235 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 7: situation are as both of us my husband I work 236 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 7: at the same place, so we just managed as best 237 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 7: as we could. If my husband wasn't working or I 238 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 7: didn't have a meeting, he would take care of the girls. 239 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 7: And if I wasn't working or didn't have a meeting 240 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 7: that moment, I would then look after the girls. But 241 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 7: the taller is the most difficult one. Mommy, Valentina is 242 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 7: hitting me. Mommy, I gotta go potty. Mommy, I'm hungry, Mommy, 243 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 7: can you talk to me? Mommy, can you play with me? 244 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,839 Speaker 7: That constant interruptions by every five minutes was we're a 245 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 7: little bit draining. So I just told her, look, give me, 246 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 7: mommy has to work. Give me until you know, three 247 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 7: o'clock and then we can play. We can talk, okay, mommy, 248 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 7: and then she would walk away. But it was that 249 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 7: bragging negotiations every day. But no, Now, looking now that 250 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 7: I'm thinking about it, I'm like, Wow, I can't believe 251 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 7: we pulled that through since March until all summer really 252 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 7: because we never stopped. 253 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, super super draining. 254 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 1: Plus being on twenty four to seven for your children 255 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: who are not leaving the house ever anymore, so they're 256 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 1: always there and that's very draining too. 257 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 3: I kind of have days where I feel like I 258 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 3: am failing at everything. I'm failing at work, I'm failing 259 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 3: at parenting and Orthente, like you said, so much respect 260 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 3: for teachers because I'm over here, like you know, watching 261 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 3: social media and there are some moms who are dads 262 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 3: who are like really creative at doing stuff with their 263 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 3: kids to help them learn, and I'm over here, like, 264 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 3: let me see what kind of educational programming I get find. 265 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 7: We got to stop comparing because I know social media, 266 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 7: but it's just. 267 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 3: Like there were some some people were cut out for 268 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 3: being teachers and some people were not. And I just 269 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 3: know I love being a mom. I always wanted a family, 270 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 3: but like I'm not cut out to do the teaching 271 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 3: and the working. Like it's it's okay, Yeah, I'm with you, Yeah, yeah. 272 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 3: I mean it is very much a mental drain. Very exhausting. 273 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 3: I think that's been like the biggest word for this 274 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,679 Speaker 3: whole time. It's just how exhausting it's been to kind 275 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 3: of juggle both. 276 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 7: It's been really tough. Now I had the taste of 277 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 7: two worlds. So from March until that the school year 278 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 7: where we're virtual but come this fault. 279 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 4: We're actually in school. 280 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,840 Speaker 7: We've been there three weeks already in person, so that's 281 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,959 Speaker 7: a completely different perspective. The girls were thrilled. Do you 282 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 7: think they were going to Disneyland? 283 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 3: You know, I mean, since you brought that up Portensia, 284 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 3: you know, let's dig into that a little bit. So 285 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 3: can you just walk me through, like mentally, what that 286 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 3: kind of decision was like for you guys. 287 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 4: It's going to sound bad, but don't judge me. 288 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 7: Nobody has don't judge me, and I know people will 289 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 7: listen to this, but no, for us, it was we 290 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 7: did sit down as a family. We wanted to collectively 291 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:29,520 Speaker 7: talk about this. 292 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 4: The little one. 293 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 7: Could probably not care or have any input. However, the 294 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,480 Speaker 7: older one we talked about the risks. We talked about 295 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 7: the positive and the negative, right, the pros and cons 296 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 7: to each scenario. If you go to school, this is 297 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 7: what's going to happen. If you don't go to school, 298 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 7: we're working, We're not going to help you or you know. 299 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 7: We laid out the truth basically, and so she was like, 300 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 7: Mom and Dad, I really want to go I want 301 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 7: to go to school. I feel like I want to 302 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 7: be with the teachers. I want to be with other peers. 303 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 7: And she's like, I'll wear a mask, I'll wear shield 304 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 7: I'll do whatever it takes. 305 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 4: Just send me back. 306 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 7: But I would say, we're very pleased with the school protocols. 307 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 3: Okay, nobody's judging. 308 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: My kids would have loved to go back to school, Dancie, 309 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 1: like you said, they would have worn the shields, gloves, whatever. 310 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 6: I would have told them. They would have worn it 311 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 6: just to be with their friends. 312 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: And I was so hopeful, like, please let us be 313 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 1: able to send them back because they really are craving 314 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 1: interaction with other people. But of course Florida then had 315 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 1: another spike. So here we are again. 316 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 3: I'll briefly tell you what happened with us. We were 317 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 3: fine for a little bit. Like I said, I had 318 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 3: to go part time because I couldn't handle the burden. 319 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 3: Burden is not the right word. My three year old 320 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 3: is not a burden. He's a joy. 321 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 6: We get it. Judging situation judging. It's not the baby, 322 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 6: it's a situation. 323 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 3: Yeah. So we were okay in the beginning, me trying 324 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 3: to like juggle, and then we got pregnant. H In 325 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 3: the beginning, I was really sick a lot. By June, 326 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 3: my husband couldn't pick up the slack anymore. I was dying. 327 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 3: So we decided to get help from some distant family 328 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 3: and she works with us three days a week as 329 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 3: our sitter. And it was kind of like live or 330 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 3: die Soka. But yeah, and we know we were going 331 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 3: to send him back to the same school in the fall, 332 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 3: but we're not commuting. There's no reason to commute all 333 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 3: the way to where he was at school. So and 334 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 3: like two year olds on Zoom, I was like, I'm 335 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 3: not doing that again. Some day, yeah, I was like 336 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 3: some days he's into it, some days he's kind of 337 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 3: like whatever, just running around the apartment. It boiled down 338 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 3: to the decision of I don't want to pay for 339 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 3: school again in the fall. If they end up going 340 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 3: virtual at the last minute, then I'm paying for school 341 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 3: to do Zoom with the almost three year old. And 342 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 3: then but I still have to pay somebody to come 343 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,880 Speaker 3: take care of him on a regular basis. So it's 344 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 3: like I'm paying two ice as much. And you know, 345 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,159 Speaker 3: it's like he's young. What is he really missing at 346 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,119 Speaker 3: two or three? He's missing the socializing, he's missing this structure, 347 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:14,360 Speaker 3: you know, Yeah, and. 348 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:16,239 Speaker 7: I mean, I think we still have to factor that 349 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 7: we're thinking plan being, like, what's going to happen. 350 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 4: They're going to be home eventually. 351 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 7: I'm sure this is not gonna last for long, and 352 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 7: we just have to be prepared for that. 353 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 2: Coming up on Latin know usay, we hear about the 354 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 2: mental repercussions that parents are dealing with during this pandemic, 355 00:17:37,680 --> 00:18:28,040 Speaker 2: and also some of the silver linings stay with us. 356 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 3: Hey, we're back. 357 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:38,440 Speaker 2: You're going to continue our conversation on parenting during the pandemic. 358 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 2: Here's producer Genie Montalo. 359 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 3: I really want to talk about how we are all feeling. 360 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 3: I want to talk about our feelings. There's been so 361 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,639 Speaker 3: many reports about the mental aspect of what this is 362 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 3: doing to parents, So speak freely. How are we all feeling? 363 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: I feel like it there's good days and bad days, 364 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: you know, Like sometimes I feel like I have it 365 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: under control and everything's going good, and then there'll be 366 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 1: a couple of days and I don't know if it's 367 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: like a full moon or something, but the kids are 368 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,880 Speaker 1: all haywire and like things aren't working and the internet 369 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: breaks down and Google Meet kicks them out, and. 370 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,120 Speaker 6: Then I get like the twitchy. 371 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 1: I you know what I'm talking about, Like it literally 372 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 1: starts to twitch and I'm like, okay, I'm that is 373 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 1: my physical signal that I need to take a breather 374 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: for myself, because. 375 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 6: For self care, what is that? What is that? 376 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 1: Right? And so I don't have time outside of the house. 377 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,159 Speaker 1: I work from home twenty four to seven. Before, at 378 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,119 Speaker 1: least I had time to myself where I could like 379 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 1: step away to the other room and stretch or whatever 380 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 1: I needed to do. But now I have kids here, 381 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: and at one point I had the kids and my 382 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,919 Speaker 1: husband here at twenty four to seven, so we just 383 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 1: looked at each other the same four walls for months 384 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 1: on end, and it starts to make you feel a 385 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:59,120 Speaker 1: little stir crazy. I've been trying to be conscious of 386 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 1: taking time for my myself throughout the day because life 387 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:03,040 Speaker 1: doesn't stop. 388 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 7: You know. 389 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 1: You still have doctor's appointments, you still have groceries you 390 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 1: have to do, you. 391 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,560 Speaker 6: Still have booboos and all these things. You still have 392 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 6: to pay the bills. 393 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,679 Speaker 1: And I've gotten to the point where, like, I have 394 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,680 Speaker 1: to stop worrying about all the little things. 395 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,400 Speaker 6: There are some things that can wait till tomorrow. 396 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:21,160 Speaker 7: I think it's the same for me. What we did 397 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,240 Speaker 7: right from the beginning. We would take walks every day. 398 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,320 Speaker 7: So even though I was working after hours at six o'clock, 399 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 7: I would pause all four of us. The kids would 400 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,199 Speaker 7: go on a bike, I would run, and when they 401 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 7: didn't want to go, I run. I run every day. 402 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 7: I go out and run for twenty minutes. So as 403 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 7: long as I was. 404 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 4: Letting go of that energy, I felt good. But it 405 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 4: helped me. 406 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 7: It helped me to just feel get out of the house, 407 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,199 Speaker 7: change the scenery a little bit for a couple of minutes, 408 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 7: and just release some of that anxiety and stress. So 409 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:57,679 Speaker 7: I carry stress a lot because I'm like you, I'm 410 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,439 Speaker 7: constantly to do list. And so the thing that I 411 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,720 Speaker 7: enjoyed most about going to work and that I miss 412 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 7: is my alone time in the car my commute, because 413 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,399 Speaker 7: I would listen to podcasts, I would catch up with 414 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,440 Speaker 7: my mom. Even though I'm home, I never get to 415 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,679 Speaker 7: talk to anyone. I mean, if I pick up the 416 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,360 Speaker 7: phone and call my mom, the girls are screaming and yelling, 417 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 7: and I want to talk to Bila and I want 418 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 7: to say hi to her, and then I give the 419 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 7: phone to them. So it's really hard to have a conversation, 420 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,119 Speaker 7: which is why I'm lucky we're having this conversation when 421 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 7: they're not here, because I don't have this interaction. I 422 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,960 Speaker 7: really don't, And so I learned that from the beginning 423 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 7: I have to do something. There are days where do 424 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 7: not talk to me because I am going to lose it. 425 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 4: At work at here. 426 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 7: Most of the time, I have good days, but I 427 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,719 Speaker 7: have to constantly work at it. It's not something that 428 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,680 Speaker 7: just comes naturally. I'm doing the best that I can. 429 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 7: And that's why I say, there's one thing I've learned 430 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 7: through all this this patience. I don't have to have 431 00:21:55,840 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 7: the house perfect. And that's when that went out the door. Yeah, 432 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,320 Speaker 7: it's being a self aware. I don't know if it's 433 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 7: self care, but self awareness and what's bothering you and 434 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 7: what you need to do to take care of them? 435 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 3: Jo Mar, what about you? 436 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know during these times, I'm seeing it just 437 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 5: personally first hand with my wife right and just keeping 438 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 5: the baby alive, the nursing, the pumping. It's just this constant, 439 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 5: like you know, I can just like see it on her. 440 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 3: What about you? 441 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:33,520 Speaker 5: For myself, I think that it feels like a lot 442 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 5: sometimes tell us how. 443 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 4: You really feel. 444 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,200 Speaker 3: I'm waiting for it. 445 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,199 Speaker 5: I told my wife's related that it's so hard to 446 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 5: compartmentalize right where I feel like I do take on 447 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,679 Speaker 5: a lot of like my students family. I call them 448 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,879 Speaker 5: my kids, right, my students my kids, and sort of 449 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 5: what they're going through, what they're navigating, and I like 450 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 5: to feel like that sort of cultural negotiator for them. 451 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 3: Right. 452 00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 5: And then at the same time, though, like how do 453 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 5: I turn it off and then go over a room 454 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:06,399 Speaker 5: over and then like just close that off and go 455 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,240 Speaker 5: help my wife and help the baby. And it's hard. 456 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,680 Speaker 5: It's difficult if I go help out for ten minutes, 457 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,479 Speaker 5: but I'm not helping this kid get on online on class. 458 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 5: It's just I'd rather put in a little bit here 459 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,439 Speaker 5: so that it efficiently wraps up so that I can 460 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,199 Speaker 5: be more present over here. Yeah, and that how do 461 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,880 Speaker 5: I feel? It's I've learned to hold my time more sacred, 462 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 5: changing a role for myself as a man, as a 463 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,720 Speaker 5: Latino man, and what it means to be a father, 464 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,199 Speaker 5: but also as a teacher. 465 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've definitely found the same. It's really hard to 466 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,199 Speaker 3: switch gears between mom and work. But it's good you 467 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 3: eventually found a way to compartmentalize. We've been talking a 468 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,439 Speaker 3: lot about how hard things are, but I'm curious if 469 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 3: you guys have found any positive outcomes to all being home. 470 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 5: Yes, oh yeah, yeah, Like I said, you know, I am, 471 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,160 Speaker 5: you know, a door over, and I can, you know, 472 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 5: if she needs to take a phone call, set up 473 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 5: a meeting, I can quickly go and sort of help out, 474 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,640 Speaker 5: tag in, I guess, sort of speak and then tag out, 475 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 5: and that that's worked out. I do want to say, 476 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,920 Speaker 5: for like staying positive. One thing I began to sort 477 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,879 Speaker 5: of mention is like having this like space in a 478 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 5: different room has been really helpful. I can't hear the baby, 479 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,439 Speaker 5: and I don't know how I would be functional right 480 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 5: if I heard the baby. 481 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:30,320 Speaker 3: Try You're lucky. I can hear my toddler all day 482 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 3: running around, and it's really hard not to abandon ship 483 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:35,160 Speaker 3: and just run out there. 484 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 5: I mean, with what we're talking about, I think that 485 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 5: sort of working from home, I say, over two hours 486 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 5: not commuting because I live in Richmond, and so i'm 487 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,439 Speaker 5: you know, that frees up sort of time for me 488 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,480 Speaker 5: to like, I am looking up guest speakers and how 489 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,679 Speaker 5: can I get you know, folks that are relevant to 490 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:58,119 Speaker 5: our curriculum in front of them on zoom. So in 491 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,399 Speaker 5: that regard, it's been kind of interesting how to be 492 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 5: creative with a little bit of additional time. Well, what 493 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 5: can I do with that time to help either my wife, 494 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 5: the baby, or sort of me and my sort of 495 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,959 Speaker 5: professional and or creative goals. 496 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's been the same in New York. I mean, 497 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,160 Speaker 3: the amount of time that we spend commuting on trains 498 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:20,640 Speaker 3: to get to places. It's like, you know, you get 499 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 3: a little bit more of a breather. We can start 500 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,880 Speaker 3: a little earlier, if we can to work, we can 501 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,239 Speaker 3: work a little bit later, which isn't great, but you know, 502 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 3: it is what it is. 503 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 7: I think for us, I think it was call it God, 504 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 7: call it the universe way of saying time out for 505 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,560 Speaker 7: all of us. Right for us, we have very busy schedules. 506 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 7: The girls both are in soccer, so that was out 507 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 7: of door. So we spent dinners together, we did walks together, 508 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 7: we played games together. We've found creative ways to do 509 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,679 Speaker 7: movie nights and to do camps in the yard. So 510 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 7: we would have never had that opportunity quite frank Like 511 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,760 Speaker 7: John Paul, my husband, wild run one way, I would 512 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 7: run the other, divide and conquer, and he comes in, 513 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,959 Speaker 7: I go out the door. So it was just a 514 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 7: lot of bad. You know, we never really saw each other. 515 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,400 Speaker 7: High five pass, the torch tape I'll be back. 516 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,719 Speaker 4: Now is none of that. 517 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 7: We were here and we had to figure it out 518 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 7: and make it work. 519 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 4: And I think the girls have seen that. 520 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 7: They're like, Mom, I like how we are all together now, 521 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 7: and so even now when we are starting to do 522 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,679 Speaker 7: because soccer's back, they're like, can we all go to 523 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 7: soccer together? They're used to that now, they're used to 524 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 7: all of us being together, so now in their mind 525 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,960 Speaker 7: they're thinking everything's together as a family. 526 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,440 Speaker 4: We do everything together now. 527 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 7: So I think that's been the silver lighting of all this, Right, 528 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 7: they're starting to see and and get more of us. 529 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,640 Speaker 4: At the beginning, not so much. 530 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,760 Speaker 7: But I think now I'm able to be more present 531 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:53,120 Speaker 7: to your point, Jamar, because you're right, I was off work, 532 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 7: but I was on the phone, checking emails, responding to emails, 533 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 7: and cooking on the other side, so I wasn't really present. 534 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 6: Yeah, no, absolutely, I was going to say the exact 535 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:02,120 Speaker 6: same thing. 536 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:06,719 Speaker 1: I mean, I missed all of the baby years because 537 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,080 Speaker 1: I went back to work at three months. For both kids, 538 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,880 Speaker 1: I missed out on all of those things, like their 539 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 1: first steps. 540 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:13,919 Speaker 8: And. 541 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 1: I didn't realize that I had felt that way that 542 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,160 Speaker 1: I missed, that I missed those things, if that makes sense, 543 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,920 Speaker 1: until the pandemic and it all shut down and we 544 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: were all at home, and yes, it was overwhelming. 545 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 6: But I was like, wow, this is really cool. 546 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 1: Like I get to see all these different like growths 547 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,120 Speaker 1: in my children every day, and like we do things 548 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 1: together and they come up with these stories for me, 549 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:44,880 Speaker 1: and the snow gold time, it just felt like very different. 550 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,440 Speaker 1: It felt like this was missing and I didn't even 551 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 1: realize it, you know, all of that bonding time because 552 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: I'm very much the same as what Artensia's describing, like 553 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 1: I'm go, go, go go, and so is my husband. 554 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,560 Speaker 1: And I think that forced us to do it. Like 555 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,719 Speaker 1: you said, maybe it was the time out that we 556 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,320 Speaker 1: all needed. I think in a way, it's brought us 557 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,400 Speaker 1: away from being plugged in all the time to electronics 558 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: and technology, to being plugged in more with the family. 559 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 6: And I've loved that part. 560 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 3: That's beautiful. Great. Yeah, I definitely have enjoyed our lunchtime 561 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:21,400 Speaker 3: dance parties that has been we never got to see. 562 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 3: I guess been saying I went back to work at 563 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,880 Speaker 3: three months as well. It's kind of weird how it's 564 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 3: like such a love hate. It's like it's so hard 565 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 3: but it's so nice. It's a weird thing for your 566 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 3: brain to kind of like mentally grasp. But yeah, no, 567 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 3: it's it's for sure. I think the world everything is 568 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,040 Speaker 3: going to change. The way we work, the way we parent, 569 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,000 Speaker 3: the way we family. 570 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 7: Nothing's going to be the same. This is a whole 571 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 7: new world now. 572 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 5: There's no going back. I think it's parents and teachers 573 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 5: alike are going to have to sort of adapt to 574 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,560 Speaker 5: this demand to be more creative, right to tap into 575 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:00,720 Speaker 5: that sort of artistic self. 576 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 3: I want to thank you all for taking this big 577 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,720 Speaker 3: chunk of time out of your day. You know, when 578 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 3: I was trying to schedule this, I was like, man, 579 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 3: I'm trying to schedule a bunch of parents who are 580 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 3: dealing with making school and work and this to have 581 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 3: a conversation about how we're dealing with school and kids. 582 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 3: I'm really glad that we were able to find a 583 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,640 Speaker 3: time that worked for everybody, So thank you so much. 584 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 7: This has been great. Thank you for putting this together. 585 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 7: It actually helped. It was therapeutic for me to hear 586 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,200 Speaker 7: everyone's perspective the book. 587 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 3: We're all in the same boat, Yeah, exactly, We're all 588 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 3: in together. 589 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 9: Thank you to our Tensia Cabaz, Joe mar Ventura and 590 00:29:48,680 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 9: to hide aland Castro for joining me today. 591 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,960 Speaker 2: This episode was produced by Gini Montalbo and edited by 592 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 2: Miel Macias. The Latino USA team includes Luis Reyes, Julieta Martinelli, 593 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 2: Alisa Escarce, and Alejandra Salasa, with help from Andrea Lopez Gruzsado, 594 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 2: Adriana Tapia and Raoul Berees. Our engineers are Stephanie Lobau, 595 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 2: Julia Caruso, and Liah Schoff. Our Director of Programming and 596 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:32,760 Speaker 2: Operations is Natalia fidel Hutz. Our digital editor is Luis Luna. 597 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 2: Our New York Women's Foundation Ignite Fellow is Julia Rocha. 598 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 2: Our interns are Jimen Ale Serro and Emil se Quiros. 599 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 2: Our theme music was composed by Zenjar Robinos. If you 600 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 2: like the music you heard on this episode, stop by 601 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 2: Latino Usa dot org and check out our weekly Spotify playlist. 602 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 2: I'm your host. And executive producer Marie Jo Josa join 603 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 2: us again on our next episode, and in the meantime, 604 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 2: look for us on all of your social media. Ailos 605 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 2: wachov Astella, Proxi man Who. 606 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,960 Speaker 8: Funding for Latino USA is coverage of a culture of 607 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 8: health is made possible in part by a grant from 608 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 8: the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. Latino USA is made possible 609 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 8: in part by the Annie E. Casey Foundation creates a 610 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 8: brighter future for the nation's children by strengthening families, building 611 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 8: greater economic opportunity, and transforming communities. And New York Women's Foundation. 612 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,720 Speaker 8: The New York Women's Foundation funding women leaders that build 613 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 8: solutions in their communities and celebrating thirty years of radical generosity. 614 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:43,239 Speaker 3: We have a lot going on. 615 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 6: It's okay, yeah, isn't that the point of this conversation. 616 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, the parents are not okay. 617 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:56,160 Speaker 2: I'm Mariao Hoosa. Next time on Latino USA, the story 618 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 2: of Roland Sylvain, a Haitian American immigrant who's now in 619 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 2: d importation proceedings, all because of a little known Trump 620 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 2: administration policy decision known as the Matter of Castro Tomb. 621 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 6: It's like a kryptonite in this house. We don't talk 622 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 6: about what if it doesn't work out. 623 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 2: That's next time on Latino USA.