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Speaker 1: Today. I effed up by turning eleven dollars in bitcoin

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Speaker 1: to four point five million dollars then throwing it in

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Speaker 1: a landfill.

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Speaker 2: See, that was the greatest investment of all time, and

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Speaker 2: then you just trashed it.

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Speaker 1: Now the landfill is this four point five million Richard.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, if you're ever sifting through that landfill, you know,

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Speaker 2: make you find that drive.

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Speaker 1: So this f up started around eleven years ago when

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Speaker 1: I was a poor college student.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's start from the very beginning. Eleven years ago.

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Speaker 2: That's like the beginning of bitcoin.

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Speaker 1: It was the dawn of time, the dawn of a

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Speaker 1: new era. I had just enough money to survive on

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Speaker 1: or at least the student definition of surviving. I had

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Speaker 1: a hugely overinflated sense of how intelligent I was rare

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Speaker 1: for someone on reddits.

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Speaker 2: I know, to be fair, you have to have a

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Speaker 2: severely high IQ to understand Rick and Morty.

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Speaker 1: I am poisoned with a beautiful mind that you cannot comprehend.

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Speaker 2: You cannot comprehend the depths the in a machine of

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Speaker 2: my mind.

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Speaker 1: I thought, instead of getting a part time job, I

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Speaker 1: would make some money the good old fashioned way on

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Speaker 1: the internet.

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Speaker 2: Baby, that's the best way to make money, you know.

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Speaker 1: A straight straight ty loo PESIANDT.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm out here on my garage books.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what's.

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Speaker 2: Better than these Lamborghinis, nalage.

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Speaker 1: I'm smart enough, so why not try it? So I

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Speaker 1: set up a few web pages with the sketchiest of

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Speaker 1: ad networks. Now, I ran these sketchy web pages as

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Speaker 1: best I could, which, to be fair, earned me a

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Speaker 1: few hundred dollars. Let's go.

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Speaker 2: And that's actually pretty good, dude, That.

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Speaker 1: Is pretty good. And I also came across a thing.

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Speaker 2: Called bitcoin, bitcoin, which is this what is the thing technology?

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Speaker 1: And people were giving them away for free on some websites.

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Speaker 2: Really, that's so nuts, dude, dude, that is crazy. In

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Speaker 2: the day wild West bitcoin, It's like bitcoin was like

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Speaker 2: what like a cent or something.

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Speaker 1: I mean in the beginning, like it had to be

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Speaker 1: like nothing, right, it was nothing like it's it's almost

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Speaker 1: as crazy as an amazing platform like coin giving away money,

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Speaker 1: like as much as five hundred dollars. I hear they do, Hey, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they do. Everything I read about them said they were

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Speaker 1: going to be the next big thing. So awesome. I'll

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Speaker 1: get some of those myself. Fill those virtual pockets to

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Speaker 1: them brim. Over the course of one semester, I had

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Speaker 1: gotten around one hundred and fifty bitcoins too.

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Speaker 2: That's so many, that's so many.

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Speaker 1: Which, Sam, are you ready for the grand reveal? Yea,

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Speaker 1: the price I was. Are you really ready? I'm ready.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready, solely prepared.

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Speaker 2: My soul hurts not having bought bitcoins so many years ago,

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Speaker 2: but I'm ready to hear the number. Now.

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Speaker 1: These one hundred and fifty bitcoins at the time were

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Speaker 1: worth eleven dollars.

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Speaker 2: That's not that much. But now they're worth.

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Speaker 1: Like four point five million dollars.

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Speaker 2: That is an increase in price, dude, porting to my calculations.

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Speaker 1: That's that's an investment. What a waste of effing time.

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Speaker 1: These things weren't exploding like they were supposed to. So

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Speaker 1: back to my much better betting and awesome trademark websites.

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Speaker 2: Wait, betting site okay, so so gambling.

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Speaker 1: Gambling and awesome trademark which awesome, awesome trademarks. Those bitcoins

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Speaker 1: were stored on my laptop. I upgraded my laptop the

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Speaker 1: following semester with more RAM and a bigger, super fast

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Speaker 1: hard drive, and I wrote a little sarcastic note to

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Speaker 1: myself about the bitcoins and folded it over my old

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Speaker 1: hard drive.

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Speaker 2: That is the least secure way to keep track of

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Speaker 2: your bitcoin.

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Speaker 1: Dude.

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Speaker 2: If you spill a little bit of coffee on your

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Speaker 2: little post it note, you can't read the numbers anymore, you're.

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Speaker 1: Done, exactly. Like, basically, that sticky note means he lost

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Speaker 1: it all and he never would have lost that bitcoin

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Speaker 1: if he had just used coup coins. Two coins the

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Speaker 1: way to go, exactly. And they're giving away five hundred

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Speaker 1: dollars to one person that signs up five hundred spack

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Speaker 1: of rounds and you can earn up to sixty percent interest. Like,

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Speaker 1: it's a no brainer to.

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Speaker 2: Join bains that five hundred turns into more than five hundreds.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, So join with our biolink for a chance

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Speaker 1: to win that five hundred smack of rooms. Baby. Now,

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Speaker 1: that was the last time I paid attention to bitcoin,

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Speaker 1: but it was not long before I graduated and started

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Speaker 1: earning some decent ish money.

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Speaker 2: Congratso Pe making his way in this world.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward to last month and I'm moving to a

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Speaker 1: smaller apartment in a more expensive area and had to

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Speaker 1: be really picky about what I could bring with me.

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Speaker 1: I had an old box of PC parts and had

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Speaker 1: a quick look through and marveled at the two hundred

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Speaker 1: and fifty six megabyte ramsticks and the forty gigabyte hard drives.

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Speaker 1: You know, even had a few floppy discs, like just

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Speaker 1: some archaic, aient ancient knowlogy.

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Speaker 2: I mean this ancient alien stuff right here.

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Speaker 1: It might as well just have hieroglyphics written on it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is just useless. All of it was

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Speaker 1: completely worthless with today's hardware. So in the trash it went.

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Speaker 2: You know, if you're like following Marie Condo, what does like?

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Speaker 2: What actually sparks Joy? Maybe none of that stuff sparks

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Speaker 2: Joy and knew he wanted to get rid of it.

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Speaker 1: You know what sparks joy? Four point five million dollars, bro,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling joyful now. I use that box to pack

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Speaker 1: some stuff in and move to my new apartment a

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Speaker 1: few days later, and because of my severe laziness, several

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Speaker 1: boxes remained full of stuff for weeks. On end tonight,

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Speaker 1: after a four hour Reddit session, I unpacked one of

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Speaker 1: those boxes and I found a little scrap of paper,

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Speaker 1: and you know what, that scrap of paper said Sam.

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Speaker 1: One hundred and fifty bitcoin roughly equals eleven dollars. Monkey

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Speaker 1: seven seven four three.

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Speaker 2: One, Monkey seven seven four three one.

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Speaker 1: That was the key to the kingdom. I chuckled to

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Speaker 1: myself for a split second before realizing that bitcoin is

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Speaker 1: worth a fair bit more today, fair bit, fair bit,

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Speaker 1: a fair bit. And at this point I panic. I've

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Speaker 1: been googling for hours and hours, but it seems I'm

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Speaker 1: totally eft and the bitcoins are gone.

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Speaker 2: That is the most heartbreaking thing ever to like know

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Speaker 2: that you had millions of dollars and then realize that

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Speaker 2: one dumb mistake cost you four point five million dollars.

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Speaker 1: Bro, It's like hard to fathom that we can make

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Speaker 1: mistakes that well, Like, usually a mistake is something like

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Speaker 1: I decided to, uh, you know, let someone stay in

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Speaker 1: my house and they trashed a place, or like oh

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Speaker 1: I should have trusted. This is literally just like I

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Speaker 1: just wrote a sticky note and I just tossed something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and hear like like that mistake is like life

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Speaker 2: changing money.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. I mean never would have to work

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Speaker 1: a day.

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Speaker 2: If you put that four point five million dollars in

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Speaker 2: cou coin. Sixty percent Apy stop sixty percent.

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Speaker 1: Stop it.

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Speaker 2: That's like two million, over two million dollars.

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Speaker 1: You could have had it all. Sorry, you suck