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Speaker 1: Still World.

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Speaker 2: I would you.

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Speaker 1: Mind Docilian pieces?

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Speaker 2: Would bananas bana banana bana?

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Speaker 1: Banana? Guys, guys down, binary pals. Welcome to another minisode

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Speaker 1: of Bananas.

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Speaker 2: Hello Scottie, Hello Kurtie. B oh boyl Boy. We are

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Speaker 2: in the middle of screener season here in Hollywood, California.

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Speaker 2: Have you gotten any Kurt? Look?

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Speaker 1: The only screeners I get. For those of you don't know,

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Speaker 1: if you're in a union like Screen Actors Guild or

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Speaker 1: the Writers Guild, you get screeners because people vote on

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Speaker 1: them for like you know, SAG Awards or WGA Awards.

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Speaker 2: Right. Screeners are DVD's, actual physical DVDs of movies that

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Speaker 2: are up for awards or TV series like you can

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Speaker 2: get The Boys. You can get the entire season of

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Speaker 2: The Boys sent to your house as a DVD.

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Speaker 1: Which is at this point the dumbest thing agreed, like

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Speaker 1: Amazon Can needs to stop sending out DVDs of their

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Speaker 1: shows because they all are on Amazon.

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Speaker 2: Send the link. It's free, Just send a link in

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Speaker 2: an email.

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Speaker 1: The majority of us have Amazon Prime. We can go

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Speaker 1: watch your show. It's so annoying and it just like

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Speaker 1: piles up and piles up. But what I love is DVDs,

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Speaker 1: movies that are still in the theater out there is

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Speaker 1: so much.

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Speaker 2: But what plays DVDs at your house? Do you have

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Speaker 2: a DVD? Oh, you have kids, so maybe I have

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Speaker 2: a DVD player.

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Speaker 1: We bought a DVD player for a screener season, got it.

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Speaker 2: Got it because I don't have one anymore. A lot

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Speaker 2: of people have PlayStations and xboxes that play them. I

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Speaker 2: don't have those, so they are literally worthless. I used

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Speaker 2: to send them to my parents. You're not supposed to

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Speaker 2: share them with anybody, by the way, you know, for

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Speaker 2: those listening. They're supposed to be like private property, not

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Speaker 2: to give away or whatever. But there used to be

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Speaker 2: like a black market. The first time I came to

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Speaker 2: LA like fifteen years ago, I literally saw somebody pop

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Speaker 2: a trunk and they were trading screeners to each other, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you have this one, I have this one, you have

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Speaker 2: this one, I have this one. So I'm about I

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Speaker 2: have about twelve or fifteen. Now I've received the joke

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Speaker 2: in Hollywood is the first screener you get is the

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Speaker 2: biggest piece of shit, and the company's just trying to

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Speaker 2: get you the first screener just to try to get

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Speaker 2: people to watch it. Yeah, this year for me, it

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Speaker 2: was the thirteen. It was the rescue of the kid,

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Speaker 2: the soccer team that got stuck in the caves.

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Speaker 1: That's supposed to be very, very good.

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Speaker 2: That was the first one I got this year.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, people say that that's like an amazing movie. I

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Speaker 1: do remember one screener I watched last year that I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is a horrible movie. It was

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Speaker 1: Nightmare Alley. Did you ever watch Nightmare Alley?

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Speaker 2: Did watch that? It is very boring.

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Speaker 1: It's such a bad movie. It's fascinating, but it's all.

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Speaker 2: Worth it.

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Speaker 1: For the final scene of Nightmare Alley. Night Mary Alley

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Speaker 1: is a terrible movie. I'm not ruining anything telling you

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Speaker 1: of the last scene, but it's Bradley Cooper.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, who's flavorless. The entire movie just tough, and mean

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Speaker 2: the whole movie tough.

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Speaker 1: I mean the whole movie. And then at the end

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Speaker 1: he is like completely broken and they see like this guy,

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Speaker 1: this circus guy is like essentially running a con on

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Speaker 1: him that he's very aware of because he used to

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Speaker 1: run the same con on other people in the circus.

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Speaker 1: And and he's like, hey, you know, maybe maybe you'd

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Speaker 1: be good for a geek and Bradley Cooper's face when

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Speaker 1: he goes perfect for it. I was born for it.

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Speaker 1: And it's the craziest face. It's the craziest like accent

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Speaker 1: that he uses. Yeah, the whole movie is worth it

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Speaker 1: to see Bradley Cooper, I was born for it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. It's always like a really bad joke, a wagon

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Speaker 2: reel joke. This is like bores you into Oblivia and

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Speaker 2: then there's a punchline. It is.

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Speaker 1: It's like a two and a half hour log movie

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Speaker 1: just for the funniest joke.

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Speaker 2: Right, Yes, that's the best. It's a beautiful boring movie.

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Speaker 2: It's a beautiful boring by Guerramel del Toro. So at

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Speaker 2: the top of my hill in Echo Park there is

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Speaker 2: sort of a dead it's like a three what's the

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Speaker 2: way a three way intersection, so not a four way intersection,

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Speaker 2: so you can basically drive straight or you can take

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Speaker 2: a left. And there's a really good, useful sort of

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Speaker 2: stump there that for the last eight years, if I'm

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Speaker 2: getting rid of something, I'll put it up in a

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Speaker 2: free box and it will be gone within ten minutes,

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Speaker 2: no matter what it is. I love that love I

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Speaker 2: do it almost every day, Like if they're there's just

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Speaker 2: something that I get, sound like a promotional thing, like

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Speaker 2: say it's a sweatshirt for a movie, I'll just put

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Speaker 2: it up there in the box that came in, say free,

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Speaker 2: and it's gone within half an hour. Yeah. So this

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Speaker 2: year I've been doing it with screeners because when I

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Speaker 2: go up, I walk up to my mailbox and as

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Speaker 2: soon as I get one, I just walk up the

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Speaker 2: hill and I put it on this thing. And I've

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Speaker 2: been doing it, like I said, about fifteen times. And

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Speaker 2: my I like to think that it's the same person

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Speaker 2: takeing each one, that they are just some lonely person

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Speaker 2: that walks a dog. And then they found Elvis, the

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Speaker 2: screener for the movie Elvis. And then they came back

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Speaker 2: the next day around the same time, and there's the Batman.

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Speaker 1: Oh you at a time, you put one one at

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Speaker 1: a time.

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Speaker 2: And I did it today. I had to make a

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Speaker 2: rand of the post office. We got a ton of

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Speaker 2: bananas mail. Thank you everybody that sends this banana's mail. Uh,

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Speaker 2: And I put The Boys Season five or whatever it's

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Speaker 2: on up there, and by the time I came back

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Speaker 2: from the post office, it was gone. So it really

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Speaker 2: is like fifteen minute loops. But I love it's either

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Speaker 2: somebody spying through their blinds waiting for this guy just

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Speaker 2: to leave a DVD fairy. I'm the DVD fairy, but

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it until the screeners stopped flowing. Just

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Speaker 2: a one for one with one of my neighbors. It'll

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Speaker 2: probably end up on next Door.

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Speaker 1: It's really funny. I what in my mind, what I

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Speaker 1: would like to imagine is that there is one squirrel

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Speaker 1: who has the fucking coolest nest. It is just billboard

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Speaker 1: from his perspective, just billboard size pictures of all the

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Speaker 1: popular movies just lining his tree.

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Speaker 2: That is what I'm hoping for too, exactly that. Okay, Doki,

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Speaker 2: I do have some so we are confessions. We got

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Speaker 2: so many for I'm a bad friend or only God

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Speaker 2: and I know about it. But we also got this one.

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Speaker 2: Okay before that, based on one of our big main

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Speaker 2: live feed episodes. Okay, so good morning. I just listened

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Speaker 2: to the most recent pod about the longest tongue in

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Speaker 2: the world. Mm hmmm, you'll recall that one Lacaso la

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Speaker 2: Cassa licked a beaver painting. Very funny app maybe this

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Speaker 2: is a confession. I have an experience with the shortest tongue.

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Speaker 2: Oh I don't know. Anyways, in college, I went over

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Speaker 2: to a friend of a friend's dorm just to make

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Speaker 2: out a little, as you do. So we're kissing, it's

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Speaker 2: all good. Then he stops and goes, Okay, if you

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Speaker 2: want a French kiss, you're gonna have to do all

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Speaker 2: the work. I was like, what he said, My tongue

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Speaker 2: is too short. It doesn't go past my mouth, so

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Speaker 2: you'll have to do all the French kissing. Not gonna lie.

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Speaker 2: It threw me off. I would never have noticed it

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Speaker 2: if he hadn't said anything. But I'm but I'm a trooper,

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Speaker 2: so I carried the load for both of us. The

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Speaker 2: worst part was when we left the room. He was

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Speaker 2: in an ROTC program and all of his buddies were

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Speaker 2: outside high fiving and cheering for him. Definitely one of

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Speaker 2: the weirdest makeout experiences ever. That is so mean, so funny. Okay,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna have to do all the work because I

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Speaker 2: have a very short tongue.

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Speaker 1: Trying to figure out, like I'm trying to see where

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Speaker 1: my tongue would stop if it didn't come out of

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Speaker 1: my mouth, like.

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Speaker 2: But if your tongue can't hit your teeth, there are

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Speaker 2: a lot of things you can't pronounce, like thhs, Like

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Speaker 2: there's things you can't say without your like a long tongue.

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Speaker 2: But I love that this person had to just say it,

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Speaker 2: like also calling saying it like French kissing. It is

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Speaker 2: still so funny we called French kiss.

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Speaker 1: It's very funny that we call it French kissing, which

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Speaker 1: suggests that we were all just kissing, just like a

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Speaker 1: peck on the lips, and then people were like, no,

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Speaker 1: you have to do it the French way. Yes, French

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Speaker 1: introduced it to us. And also like the French exhale

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Speaker 1: with smoking, that's like where you let it drift out

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Speaker 1: of your mouth and then inhale it through your nose.

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Speaker 1: It is so funny that the French have this this

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Speaker 1: reputation worldwide.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oral specialists, the French, they're excellent at maybe everything. Also,

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Speaker 2: like smelling, right, isn't like that one perfume institute where

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Speaker 2: it's like the four people with perfect sense of smell

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Speaker 2: in the world. It's like some competitive thing where it's

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Speaker 2: like we have the best sniffers in the world.

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Speaker 1: The super sniffers.

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Speaker 2: I in college, there was I was an RA one

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Speaker 2: year and there was another RA, and she was very,

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Speaker 2: very beautiful. She was a really pretty girl, and we

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Speaker 2: became friendly and we were both single, and sometimes after

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Speaker 2: our staff meetings we would do this. We would just

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Speaker 2: go make out our hook cup or whatever. It was

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Speaker 2: really funny. But the first time we did also, I

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Speaker 2: say that I think there was even an understanding back

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Speaker 2: then like that we were just never going to date

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Speaker 2: or end up together. So it was just very much like, hey,

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Speaker 2: we're sophomores in college, let's let's smooch. We love a

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Speaker 2: smooch on the Bananas podcast of course. But before or

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Speaker 2: right as we started making out the first time, she goes,

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Speaker 2: I have devil horns, and I was like, say what,

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Speaker 2: And she goes here, and she took my flat palm

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Speaker 2: and put it on the back of her skull, on

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Speaker 2: the back of her head, and she had two points

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Speaker 2: her skull points on like the bat I don't even

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Speaker 2: know how to describe it, like the crown of your

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Speaker 2: head around the back basically if you have a snapback hat,

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Speaker 2: like right on the ends of that. There were two

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Speaker 2: bony points there well, and she was like, I just

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Speaker 2: want you to feel this so that you're not freaked out.

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Speaker 2: Like if you felt it that, I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's fine. I was like eighteen, I'm like, passes the

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Speaker 2: test with me. Even if you had been like I

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Speaker 2: worship Satan as my lord, I'd been like, cool, we're here,

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Speaker 2: my shirt's already off. Let's party. But yeah, she had it,

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Speaker 2: and I always kind of respected her for just jumping

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Speaker 2: out in front of her. You know, her shirt short

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Speaker 2: tongue was two little points on the back of her skull.

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Speaker 1: But also I wonder I guess obviously it has been

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Speaker 1: an issue in the past because she's telling people about it.

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Speaker 1: But like, I don't know how often I do a

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Speaker 1: full scalp check during a makeout session. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how Maybe you a hand through the hair, but not

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Speaker 1: like hand on scalp, pushing down on scalp all the

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Speaker 1: way back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't. You don't use both hands to catch

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Speaker 2: like catching a water balloon. You don't catch a water

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Speaker 2: balloon on the back of her head and pull her

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Speaker 2: in for a kiss. Guys, if you're doing that, you're

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Speaker 2: not doing it right. Don't leave that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just like oh yeah, that just both hands around

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Speaker 1: the back, grab the horns, and that we shall.

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Speaker 2: Kiss, like pulling down the trunk of a car and

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Speaker 2: closing it. It's a you don't want to do it anyways,

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Speaker 2: Carrie Lynn. If you're out there, if there's some radical miracle,

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Speaker 2: you're bananimal. Thanks for telling me. I appreciate the heads up.

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Speaker 2: It was very cool of you. I hope your life

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Speaker 2: turned out great. Here's another one. Oh, this is funny. Okay,

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Speaker 2: here's kind of a h okay. This is I was

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Speaker 2: a bad friend because I was a bad friend because

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Speaker 2: when I was in high school, I found out my

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Speaker 2: bestie hooked up with a guy she knew I was

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Speaker 2: talking to at a party. So I got back with

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Speaker 2: her and sent her secret admirer notes. You can see

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Speaker 2: where this is going.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: This was back in nineteen ninety nine, before texting and

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Speaker 2: really before the internet were even a thing for ninth graders,

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Speaker 2: so it was a lot of work to disguise my

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Speaker 2: handwriting and set up random ways to drop the notes

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Speaker 2: off to her. Wow. One of the On one of

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Speaker 2: the last notes, I told her to meet up with

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Speaker 2: me aka the secret admirer at a friend's party and

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Speaker 2: to wear something red so I could recognize her when

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Speaker 2: we met up in the garage. The day of the

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Speaker 2: party came and we showed up.

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Speaker 1: I love ninth grader.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Please wear something red so I can recognize you. Like

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Speaker 1: what you've You're the secret admirer. You're the ones she

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Speaker 1: doesn't know who they are. That's right, you are admire

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Speaker 1: this person.

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Speaker 2: You know what they look like. It's so secret. I

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Speaker 2: don't even know what you look like. He's so secret.

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Speaker 2: I'm not even sure what you look like. God, that

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Speaker 2: is so funny. Boy. So were's something red so I

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Speaker 2: could recognize her when we met at the garage. The

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Speaker 2: day of the party came. We showed up, her friend

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Speaker 2: and herself showed up together like we were our usual BFFs.

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Speaker 2: And then she said something that she had to go

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Speaker 2: do something, which was her going out to the garage.

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Speaker 2: I lit a stink bomb and locked her in my

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Speaker 2: friend's garage for over an hour. A person that holy shit,

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Speaker 2: this is this is like oh this whoever's dating or

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Speaker 2: married to this person now needs to be very loyal

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Speaker 2: and very caring forever. I followed her to the garage,

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Speaker 2: I lit a stink bomb and locked her in my

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Speaker 2: friend's garage for over an hour until a person at

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Speaker 2: the party heard her in the garage and finally let

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Speaker 2: her out. I don't think she ever figured out what

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Speaker 2: or who did that to her, but I felt better.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that is so good.

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Speaker 1: That is the most intense confession I think we've had

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Speaker 1: in that really good who burned down someone's house into this?

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Speaker 2: Yes, well you were absolved, but animal I mean that.

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Speaker 2: It's also like with time, so this is ninety nine,

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Speaker 2: you know, all these years later, twenty three years later,

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Speaker 2: like I wish this person could be Like, I didn't

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Speaker 2: like that guy after the next party. Looking back, I

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Speaker 2: never really had feelings for him. You know. It's like

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Speaker 2: at that moment, her teenage passion was so powerful, and

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Speaker 2: she wanted that guy's attention and to be the only

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Speaker 2: one and the love, and she was willing to cat

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Speaker 2: early catfish pre internet catfish her friends. Yeah, and they

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Speaker 2: torture her for an hour for a guy that she

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Speaker 2: probably wouldn't look at twice. Now, beautiful, you're absolutely as

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Speaker 2: one totally.

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Speaker 1: That's an amazing one. Okay, here's another one that I

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Speaker 1: do remember once because I've never I don't like lit

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Speaker 1: a stink bomb. I've never seen the lights the stink

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Speaker 1: bombs that require fire, but I remember what we had

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Speaker 1: in Jersey was they would they were little glass castles.

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Speaker 1: I stunk, and it was crazy how quickly they stunk,

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Speaker 1: because I remember I did it. I had one in

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Speaker 1: my hand, probably in sixth grade or something. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I got on the bus and I immediately just like

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Speaker 1: dropped it on the ground and then someone walked over

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Speaker 1: it and cracked, and then immediately the whole bus like

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like a smell came from a certain place,

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Speaker 1: it was like the moment it cracked, it was like

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Speaker 1: everywhere smell bad. And the bus driver was so like

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Speaker 1: angry that she pulled over, yeah, in the middle of

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Speaker 1: like driving us home, and was like who did this?

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Speaker 1: And I just did not say anything, and then we

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Speaker 1: had to all ride with them, and I just felt

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Speaker 1: so bad.

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Speaker 2: I just felt so bad.

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Speaker 1: It was like it smelt so bad that everyone was

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Speaker 1: upset and everyone was angry, and I just couldn't say

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Speaker 1: anything because people would just be so furious.

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Speaker 2: And I just kindly sat there. I used to meet

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Speaker 2: my best friend growing up at the end of the

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Speaker 2: street because he would ride the bus and I went

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Speaker 2: to different schools, and so I would get out of

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Speaker 2: our school sooner and carpool home, and then i'd walk

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Speaker 2: up down the street where they would drop all the

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Speaker 2: kids that lived in my street, and then he and

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Speaker 2: I would walk back to his house and hang out.

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Speaker 2: One day, the bus didn't come. The bus didn't come,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, maybe the public schools had

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Speaker 2: a holiday or maybe you know. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: And then the bus finally comes and I'm like, he's like, dude,

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Speaker 2: we were just on the side of the road for

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Speaker 2: like an hour, and I was like, what happened? And

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Speaker 2: he's like, someone ate the bus driver's doritos. And they

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Speaker 2: found out and they pulled over, and they made all

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Speaker 2: the kids pulled their money and then go into a

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Speaker 2: Highs which is like a regional seven to eleven, and

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Speaker 2: buy him a bag of cool Ranch doritos because this

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Speaker 2: bus driver was pissed. But like somebody saw that there

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Speaker 2: was a full bag of cool Ranch. You know how

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Speaker 2: kids are, They like passed the back of the back,

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Speaker 2: opened it quietly and they're all just passing out dorito's

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Speaker 2: and the bus driver is like, Nope, no fucking way,

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Speaker 2: I don't care what you miss. You were not going home.

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Speaker 2: And so they pulled their money, all their loose chains

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Speaker 2: and stuff and bought the guy a king size bag

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Speaker 2: of cool Ranch critos.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's so crazy when you see the

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Speaker 1: human side of yes as a child, to see the

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Speaker 1: human side of authority figures is terrifying on some level,

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Speaker 1: you know, I hope so it is. It's like it

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Speaker 1: was like that you genuinely are like you're a human

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Speaker 1: in big No, it is really it just like breaks.

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Speaker 2: You in some way.

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Speaker 1: It's very surprising.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is. I think that fears kind of good

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Speaker 2: in a way, like I think it keep I mean

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Speaker 2: that instance, it's like, yeah, don't steal shit from people.

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Speaker 1: Of course.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And also like this guy's he's like he's driving a bus.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't want to. It's the last that's all he's

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Speaker 1: looking forward to is his bag of cool ranch doritos.

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Speaker 1: At the end of the day, day long kids hates

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Speaker 1: all of them, but he's got his cool ranch doritos.

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Speaker 1: And that was a step too far.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know the way you're saying it, I agree.

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Speaker 2: And it's like a great start to a horror movie.

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Speaker 2: Is they just eat the wrong guys doritos at the

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Speaker 2: wrong time and he snaps and then it is over

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Speaker 2: for the rest of them. It is over. Let's send

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Speaker 2: us out on this quickie.

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Speaker 1: Sounds good.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for sending these in and and animals. By the way,

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Speaker 2: these are great. All the confessions are always so fun.

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Speaker 2: This is why we love mini sods. I had a

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Speaker 2: ceramics class the last period of the day eleventh grade.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. This is from the same person WHOA

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Speaker 2: I didn't realize this. Wow. A second message. I had

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Speaker 2: a cerabics class the last period of the day at

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Speaker 2: eleventh grade. The same friend that I locked in the

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Speaker 2: garage had ceramics class two periods before me. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Our cerabics teacher would have would have

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Speaker 2: the students lock up their finished projects that were ready

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Speaker 2: to be put in the kiln and graded in a

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Speaker 2: cabinet at the back of the class. We were all

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Speaker 2: able to access the other student's projects during class. There

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Speaker 2: was a one month period where I smashed my friend's

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Speaker 2: project every week of the day before they were due,

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Speaker 2: just because I felt like it. Oh my god, what

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Speaker 2: I mean we absolved this one because you've you're an adult,

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Speaker 2: but oh my god, that is so mean.

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Speaker 1: Continually, and the person was still her friend two years.

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Speaker 2: Later after stink bombing them out anonymously. Good luck to

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Speaker 2: this person's significant other in twenty twenty three. My god,

387
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 2: oh wow, oh wow. Destroying art. Destroying art that could

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Speaker 2: have led that person down a career path to pursue

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Speaker 2: the arts if they were great at ceramics, and instead

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Speaker 2: it's like, I guess I'm just not doing it right.

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Speaker 2: They keep cracking. Oh my goodness, you are barely absolved

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Speaker 2: for the second one. First one lover scored. I get it.

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Speaker 2: Second one, you were a dickhead.

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Speaker 1: But thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing that.

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Speaker 2: That's right. Thank you for opening up. You are absolved.

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Speaker 2: Walk forward in life with that weight lifted off your

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Speaker 2: banana's shoulders.

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Speaker 1: Thank you guys for listening to this wonderful minisode. Thank

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Speaker 1: you Scotti, Thank you Curty B.

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Speaker 2: Bananas Maam Bananas is an exactly right media production.

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Speaker 1: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

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Speaker 2: The catchy banana theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

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Speaker 1: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard and.

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Speaker 2: Our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia

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Speaker 2: hartstart

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Speaker 1: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern.