WEBVTT - You Are All Wrong!

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<v Speaker 1>All of you on the Castro Valley Facebook are wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>It's one more thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Armstrong and Getty.

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<v Speaker 3>One more thing.

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<v Speaker 2>So you said Castro Valley?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Castro Valley, California. This is my hometown.

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<v Speaker 3>Founded by Fidel Castro when he was exploring the hinterlands.

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<v Speaker 2>So this is your hometown Facebook.

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<v Speaker 1>This is my hometown, born and raised.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>And I.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I know I'm surrounded by idiots, but this

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<v Speaker 4>is next level.

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<v Speaker 1>So I sent you guys a picture.

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<v Speaker 2>I looked at it.

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<v Speaker 4>Just to lay the groundwork here, it is a photo.

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<v Speaker 3>You'll understand in a second. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>It is a photo of a, I'm assuming maybe a

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<v Speaker 4>teenage couple, might be older.

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<v Speaker 1>The man is laying flat on his back.

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<v Speaker 4>And the female has her knees tucked up under his

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<v Speaker 4>armpits and is basically straddling him.

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<v Speaker 2>They're dry humping, I'm guessing.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you. I said that and everybody has been coming

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<v Speaker 1>at me.

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<v Speaker 3>You're such a poet, Jack.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, what are you going to call it there, Byron

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<v Speaker 2>and Shelley all wrapped together?

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<v Speaker 3>Lovely term. Dry humping. Good Lord.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not romantic, is it? Not a romantic term.

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<v Speaker 4>This whole thing got posted because this person wrote, I'm

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<v Speaker 4>just asking whether this is appropriate for a couple to

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<v Speaker 4>do in a public place. They're not undressed, but there

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<v Speaker 4>are young children, including my own, very close in proximity.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, you can't do that in the park with kids around.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you, because I wrote that and everyone is.

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<v Speaker 4>Up my ass about it how do you know they

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<v Speaker 4>were dry humping dry humping more.

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<v Speaker 3>Elegance this is our classiest episode ever i'm starting my

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<v Speaker 3>own show where we will have standards.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah whatever you guys hired me for a reason so

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<v Speaker 4>yes yeah well.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh Parent here, you're being ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 4>You need to mind your own business and let people

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<v Speaker 4>do what they want to in a park.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a stupid take.

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<v Speaker 1>And I said, maybe.

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<v Speaker 4>People shouldn't be straddling their partner in a public place

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<v Speaker 4>where kids are. And then somebody wrote, how do you

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<v Speaker 4>know that they're dry humping? From personal experience? Oh, that's

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<v Speaker 4>another stupid comment.

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<v Speaker 2>Touché!

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, good one.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because only, what, degenerates ever do that sort of thing?

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<v Speaker 1>Right.

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<v Speaker 3>What?

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<v Speaker 2>Usually it's you and me on the couch, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>we were watching a movie and this starts. That sort

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<v Speaker 2>of thing. Alone, not with children around.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's another one, coming from an anonymous profile, by the way.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you know from experience? What, you I'm mad, Kate.

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<v Speaker 2>What a stupid thing to say.

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<v Speaker 3>Bring it up.

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<v Speaker 2>What a moronic comment.

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<v Speaker 4>Also, I'll put as a side note, most of these

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<v Speaker 4>are coming from an anonymous profile or profiles that have

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<v Speaker 4>like a nickname. This next one, you can't control what

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<v Speaker 4>people do in public. If you're a mom, then you

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<v Speaker 4>should know that if you have your child nearby, you

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<v Speaker 4>should steer your kid away from the area instead of

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<v Speaker 4>shaming them for hugging.

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<v Speaker 1>And I said, oh, okay.

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<v Speaker 4>I said, okay, so adults shouldn't change their behavior. I

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<v Speaker 4>just need to make sure my child doesn't see their

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<v Speaker 4>poor choices. Also, if that's a hug, I'm Abraham Lincoln. Wow.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't be able to do that with kids around.

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<v Speaker 2>I would have. I mean, if we're headed that direction

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<v Speaker 2>and we're both feeling kind of frisky, we're getting to

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<v Speaker 2>the car or a secluded area of the park or

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<v Speaker 2>a hotel or something.

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<v Speaker 1>And where this took place, there's plenty of nooks.

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<v Speaker 4>Like, you can go just about anywhere and not be

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<v Speaker 4>seen by anyone. But they chose to do this on

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<v Speaker 4>the front lawn in front of everybody.

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<v Speaker 3>Find a nookie nook. So I don't want to get

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<v Speaker 3>sucked in by trolls. But if that person was sincere that, no,

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<v Speaker 3>if people want to, you know, dry hump in the

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<v Speaker 3>park in front of children, well, you just need to

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<v Speaker 3>get the children out of there. That is, that's suicidal empathy,

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<v Speaker 3>as God sod puts it, the great American now professor, scientist, writer.

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<v Speaker 4>This person, I am appalled that you have the nerve

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<v Speaker 4>to photograph this couple. You don't know their personal situations.

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<v Speaker 2>What difference does that make? What is it with people?

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<v Speaker 2>What is it with people? I don't know their personal situation.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I do.

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<v Speaker 4>You're dry humping in a park in front of kids.

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<v Speaker 1>That's your personal situation.

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<v Speaker 2>Try to come up with a situation to justify. It's

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<v Speaker 2>her birthday or.

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<v Speaker 3>He just got out of prison. They couldn't help themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, here's the next one.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you bitch about women breastfeeding in public as well?

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<v Speaker 4>You sound like a MAGA.

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<v Speaker 2>Another great comment that makes perfect sense. What is wrong

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<v Speaker 2>with you people? Here's the next one.

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<v Speaker 1>Dogs do this in public. Do you have a problem?

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<v Speaker 3>See, this doesn't sound like trolling to me. It sounds

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<v Speaker 3>like clever trolling that lasts.

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<v Speaker 1>No, these are all individual comments.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe the dog one, but the other ones to me

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<v Speaker 2>just sound like morons.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my God.

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<v Speaker 1>Embracing adults.

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<v Speaker 2>The horror.

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<v Speaker 3>All right. To tie this to one of the stories,

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<v Speaker 3>the news stories of the day, as we're recording this,

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<v Speaker 3>the Lindsay Clancy trial, or she killed her kids. No,

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<v Speaker 3>I've been talking a lot about the experience of being

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<v Speaker 3>on a jury. You get into the room with the

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<v Speaker 3>other 11 people and you realize like three of them

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<v Speaker 3>are those people. And then you have to sort out

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<v Speaker 3>whether to take away somebody's, uh, their, their, Their freedom

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<v Speaker 3>or their money or their life or whatever, depending on

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<v Speaker 3>the nature of the trial. You're dealing with people that

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<v Speaker 3>illogical and prone to prejudice and leaping to conclusions and

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<v Speaker 3>coming at you with just moronic effing opinions. That was

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<v Speaker 3>the part I never anticipated being on a jury.

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<v Speaker 2>The morons.

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<v Speaker 4>How do you know they were dry humping? Is that

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<v Speaker 4>from personal experience?

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<v Speaker 2>It's just.

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<v Speaker 3>Monarchy now. We need to end democracy.

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<v Speaker 4>This post is judgmental. Keep being you and mind your

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<v Speaker 4>own business. Again, again, let's just reset this. That photo

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<v Speaker 4>was taken about 25 feet from a child's birthday party. Really? Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow.

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<v Speaker 4>And I'm like, 89% of the comments on here are like,

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<v Speaker 4>where did you grow up?

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<v Speaker 1>You need to mind your own business.

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<v Speaker 2>This is totally fine.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, what?

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<v Speaker 2>If my kid had been at a birthday party like that, especially, well,

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<v Speaker 2>at any age, really. But if my kid had been

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<v Speaker 2>at a birthday party like that, I'd have gone over

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<v Speaker 2>to that couple and said, hey. I get it, but

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<v Speaker 2>can you take it further over there, just right over

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<v Speaker 2>the hill or something?

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<v Speaker 1>And I know exactly where they are.

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<v Speaker 4>They could walk 50 yards to their left and be.

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<v Speaker 1>under a tree, up out of the way.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd have sprayed him with a hose like dogs in

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<v Speaker 3>a park. You're going to act like dogs in a park.

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<v Speaker 3>You're going to get treated like dogs in a park.

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<v Speaker 2>Just kick him in the ass as they're doing it.

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<v Speaker 2>Kick him in the ass. I'd have felt comfortable saying

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<v Speaker 2>that to the guy because he's in no position to

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<v Speaker 2>fight me. I know that for a fact.

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<v Speaker 1>I can tell by this.

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<v Speaker 2>He's not going to jump up and want to fight.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not the mode he's in.

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<v Speaker 4>I can just tell by this post that this was

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<v Speaker 4>made by a bitter old single woman who doesn't have

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<v Speaker 4>any kids, which she obviously does because it was her

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<v Speaker 4>kid's birthday party, which is why she posted it.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow. This is so troubling.

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<v Speaker 2>It really is.

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<v Speaker 4>Young kid. Oh, well, actually, no, that's in favor. People

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<v Speaker 4>are not very modest. Somebody is jealous. Don't be a boomer.

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<v Speaker 3>So while I appreciate your Abraham Lincoln smack, I would

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<v Speaker 3>be tempted to try to engage these people in a

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<v Speaker 3>non-threatening way and draw them out. Just out of curiosity,

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<v Speaker 3>is there any standard of conduct in a park near

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<v Speaker 3>kids that you would be okay with? Ooh, good one.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, if they were actually having sexual intercourse, would

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<v Speaker 3>that be okay? Yes or no? If they were feeling

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<v Speaker 3>each other up hands under clothes, would that be okay?

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<v Speaker 3>Because you seem to be indicating that there are no standards.

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<v Speaker 2>How about completely naked doing the wheelbarrow?

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<v Speaker 1>I see people cuddling. That's educational.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>I see people cuddling. I don't see any lewd behavior.

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<v Speaker 2>It's an embrace.

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<v Speaker 3>This is a hug.

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<v Speaker 1>And again, I'm Abraham Lincoln.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, try that kind of hug at work and see

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<v Speaker 2>if you get fired.

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<v Speaker 3>How long did that loving embrace last, I wonder?

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<v Speaker 2>For me, about two minutes.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, if it was momentary.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, boy.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't worry, it won't take long.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I realize it's unpleasant. Good news, it won't last long.

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<v Speaker 1>This is my perspective as a parent.

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<v Speaker 4>People are free to disagree, but I don't think that

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<v Speaker 4>doing this in public near children is right, which is

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<v Speaker 4>the original poster. Well, it happened long enough for them

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<v Speaker 4>to see it, analyze it, and get a photo.

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<v Speaker 3>Right. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Mind you, also, I cropped the photo when I sent

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<v Speaker 4>it to you guys, but in the background, there's also

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<v Speaker 4>a child like 10 feet from them.

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<v Speaker 3>As these two pervs DH in public.

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<v Speaker 2>Is there any homeless there?

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<v Speaker 1>They probably don't want to see that either.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>What about our homeless population?

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, excuse me. I'm trying to shoot up over here.

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<v Speaker 3>Two of you are acting like dogs in a park.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't respect the reality.

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<v Speaker 1>And somebody's all upset that you took a photo.

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<v Speaker 4>And I responded with, we're all on video all the time.

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<v Speaker 4>And if you don't want your photo or your video

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<v Speaker 4>taken in public, then don't do something that deems it.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're in a crowded park full of people and

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<v Speaker 2>you do that, lots of people are going to whip

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<v Speaker 2>out their phones.

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<v Speaker 1>No kidding. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>And say, geez, look what I just saw at the park.

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<v Speaker 4>Ugh. Again, to reflect yesterday's podcast, you need.

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<v Speaker 1>a background check to have a child.

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<v Speaker 4>Because some of these people are claiming to be parents

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<v Speaker 4>and the fact that they're saying, oh, this is fine.

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<v Speaker 1>They're just, they're hugging in public.

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<v Speaker 2>Again, I will. be uncomfortable getting into that mode that

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<v Speaker 2>close to a bunch of children. I would want to

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<v Speaker 2>take that somewhere else really quickly.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>We're starting to go down that road. Hey, let's go

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<v Speaker 2>over there to the car.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure. Just not next to the child's birthday party. Perv.

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<v Speaker 4>Wow. Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>I bet he wanted to go over and have a

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<v Speaker 2>juice box afterwards.

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<v Speaker 1>Stop it!

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Smoke a candy cigarette.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I don't think you can buy candy cigarettes

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<v Speaker 2>anymore in the United States.

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<v Speaker 3>Nope.

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<v Speaker 1>You can buy them online and have them shipped.

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<v Speaker 2>Henry got some somewhere in Canada, I think. He was

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<v Speaker 2>so happy with his candy cigarettes. Man, did he enjoy that.

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<v Speaker 2>He had all the fun I had as a kid,

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<v Speaker 2>pretending you're smoking.

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<v Speaker 3>Ah, good times.

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<v Speaker 2>Using it as a prop. You know what I think, Dad?

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<v Speaker 1>I used to smoke chopsticks. You know, pretend.

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<v Speaker 2>That's good to pretend. And a chocolate crack pipe.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, good, Michael. Way to go. That's nice. Set the

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<v Speaker 1>bar high.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I guess that's it.