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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope

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Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it

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Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with

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Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

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Speaker 1: for joining me for session of the Therapy for Black

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Speaker 1: Girl's podcast. Today, we're spending some time in the inbox

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Speaker 1: and I'm answering some of the questions you'll have sent

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Speaker 1: in about therapy. If you have any questions about therapy

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Speaker 1: or situations you like some feedback on, please send them

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Speaker 1: into me at podcasts at Therapy for Black Girls dot com.

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Speaker 1: So let's jump right in. Question number one comes from Shannon,

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Speaker 1: and I've given all of these fake names. Shannon says,

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Speaker 1: I sometimes feel like my therapist gets frustrated with me.

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Speaker 1: It only happens occasionally, but it makes me feel a

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Speaker 1: little down? Is it in my head? What should I do?

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much for your question, Shannon. In this situation

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Speaker 1: and in all situations, i'd encourage you to pay attention

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Speaker 1: to what you're feeling, even if it's not completely accurate.

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Speaker 1: When we're sensing that something is all or that something

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Speaker 1: just doesn't feel right, it's an indication that we need

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Speaker 1: to check in with this person about what is happening. So,

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Speaker 1: in this case, with your therapist, I wonder what you're

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Speaker 1: observing that is leading you to believe that they are frustrated.

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Speaker 1: Whatever it is, i'd encourage you to start the conversation

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Speaker 1: with whatever these observations are. So, for example, you might say,

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Speaker 1: I've noticed that whenever I talk about my relationship with

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Speaker 1: my mom, you roll your eyes or whatever behavior you're observing,

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Speaker 1: and it leaves me feeling like I'm frustrating. You can

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Speaker 1: we talk about this, and then you and your therapist

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Speaker 1: can hopefully have a conversation about what's happening. If your

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Speaker 1: therapist is feeling frustrated, they can share this with you

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Speaker 1: and talk about what's frustrating them and what this might

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Speaker 1: mean in terms of your relationship, or if they're not

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Speaker 1: feeling frustrated. They may be able to help you talk

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Speaker 1: through what you're experiencing in the relationship with them and

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Speaker 1: how it might be connected to experiences outside of the

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Speaker 1: therapy office. For example, maybe you came from a family

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Speaker 1: where what you had to say was quickly dismissed or invalidated,

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Speaker 1: and this now leaves you very sensitive to these feelings

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Speaker 1: as an adult, so you may be sensing that others

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Speaker 1: are frustrated when this isn't really the case. So either way,

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Speaker 1: it's not in your head. But it is important for

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Speaker 1: you to get some clarity about what's happening so that

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Speaker 1: you can continue to feel safe in this relationship. It

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Speaker 1: may not seem like a big deal, as you stated

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Speaker 1: that it doesn't happen often, but anything that undermines your

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Speaker 1: ability to be completely honest with your therapist makes therapy

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Speaker 1: less effective, and you deserve to have your concerns addressed.

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Speaker 1: So I hope that you can have this conversation with them.

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Speaker 1: I hope this helps. Question number two comes from April.

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Speaker 1: April says, my therapist shares too much about her own

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Speaker 1: experiences in therapy. One time, we spent thirty minutes talking

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Speaker 1: about her issues and she said on occasion that she

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Speaker 1: wants to live vicariously through me. What are your thoughts, Hey, April,

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Speaker 1: thanks so much for your question. So this is highly

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Speaker 1: inappropriate behavior and it sounds like it may be time

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Speaker 1: for you to find another therapist. I'm really, really sorry

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Speaker 1: this happened to you. So your therapy time should be

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Speaker 1: spent talking about you and your concerns, not your therapists. Now,

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Speaker 1: there may be times when your therapists may share something

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Speaker 1: about themselves with the goal of strengthening the relationship, are

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Speaker 1: helping you to feel less alone, or some other purpose

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Speaker 1: that is of benefit to you and the therapeutic relationship,

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Speaker 1: But under no circumstance should thirty minutes of a session

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Speaker 1: be spent with a therapist talking about themselves. Your therapists

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Speaker 1: also should not be invested in living vicariously through you.

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Speaker 1: Of course, as your therapists were interested in what's happening

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Speaker 1: in your life in terms of how it impacts the

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Speaker 1: concerns that you brought into therapy, but this shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: done in a voyeuristic way or in a way that

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Speaker 1: makes you feel like we're living through you. So I

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Speaker 1: hope that you'll think more about this relationship and make

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Speaker 1: a decision that is a really good fit for you.

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Speaker 1: And then question number three comes from Tanya. Tanya says,

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Speaker 1: I've been in therapy for a while and recently your

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Speaker 1: friend suggested that I see a psychiatrist as well. How

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Speaker 1: do I know if I need a psychiatrist? This is

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Speaker 1: a great question, Tanya, Thank you so much for sending

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Speaker 1: this in. I'm really glad to hear that you've been

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Speaker 1: able to connect with the therapist. It sounds like you've

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Speaker 1: likely been doing some really good work there. And I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure of the exact circumstances that led your friend

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Speaker 1: to make the suggestion of you seeing a psychiatrist, but

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Speaker 1: here's a little bit of information about working with a psychiatrist. Generally,

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Speaker 1: so one a client maybe has been working with a

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Speaker 1: therapist and maybe seeing some improvement in their symptoms, but

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Speaker 1: the therapist suggests that may be working with a psychiatrist

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Speaker 1: and following a medication regimen as outlined by the psychiatrist

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Speaker 1: would be helpful in them improving. Even more so, the

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Speaker 1: therapist might suggest an appointment with a psychiatrist and maybe

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Speaker 1: even give you some referrals of psychiatrists they've worked with

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Speaker 1: In the past, so that's one of the situations that

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Speaker 1: generally happens. Or sometimes people decide to work with the

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Speaker 1: psychiatrist before even seeing a therapist, or instead of seeing

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Speaker 1: a therapist. So sometimes people have done some research about

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Speaker 1: what's going on with them and feel like talking with

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Speaker 1: the psychiatrist, who may be able to prescribe medication to

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Speaker 1: assist them with their concerns, might be a good fit.

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Speaker 1: There's no rule that you have to see a therapist

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Speaker 1: before you see a psychiatrist or at all. If you

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Speaker 1: think you're interested in trying medication and you want to

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Speaker 1: consult with the psychiatrist, you can just make an appointment

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Speaker 1: with them. The psychiatrist may prescribe medication and will schedule

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Speaker 1: you for a follow up visit, and they might also

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Speaker 1: suggest that you see a therapist in addition to taking

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Speaker 1: any medication they prescribe. The important thing for you to

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Speaker 1: remember here is that in each of these cases, you're

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Speaker 1: the one who gets to make the decisions about your treatment.

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Speaker 1: If your therapist suggests a meeting with the psychiatrist and

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Speaker 1: you're not interested, you can decline. And if your psychiatrists

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Speaker 1: suggests a therapist and you're not interested in that you

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Speaker 1: can decline that as well. It's up to you. I

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Speaker 1: hope this helps Tanya. If you have a question about

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Speaker 1: therapy that you'd like to have answered on a future episode,

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Speaker 1: please remember to send it into me at podcast at

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com and it just might

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Speaker 1: be answered on a future show. Remember that if you're

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Speaker 1: looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to

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Speaker 1: check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue

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Speaker 1: digging into this topic and meet some other sisters in

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Speaker 1: your area, come on over and join us in the

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Speaker 1: Yellow Couch Collective where we take a deeper dive into

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Speaker 1: the topics from the podcast and just about everything else.

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Speaker 1: This month, we are doing a group reading assignment, so

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Speaker 1: we're having a little virtual book club over in YCC

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Speaker 1: and we will be reading the Dance of Intimacy, so

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Speaker 1: that starts next week. So if you're interested in having

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Speaker 1: that and joining us for everything else, come on over

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Speaker 1: and join us at Therapy for Black Girls dot com

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Speaker 1: slash y c C. And don't forget to check out

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Speaker 1: our online store where you can grab a copy of

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Speaker 1: our Guided Affirmation track, break Up Journal, or your favorite

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls T shirts or mugs. You can

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Speaker 1: grab your goodies at Therapy for Black Girls dot com

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Speaker 1: slash shop. Thank you all so much for joining me

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Speaker 1: again this week. I look forward to continue in this

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Speaker 1: conversation with you all real soon. Take it care,