WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: My 8-year Marriage Has Gotten Boring!

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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<v Speaker 1>voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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<v Speaker 1>advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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<v Speaker 1>your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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<v Speaker 1>to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.

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<v Speaker 1>What arever the cases I want to hear from you.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're

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<v Speaker 1>suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help

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<v Speaker 1>from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and

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<v Speaker 1>leave your question at the sound of the beat.

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<v Speaker 2>Ni Cheeky's, I want to remain anonymous. First of all,

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<v Speaker 2>I want to say that I love you and your mom.

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<v Speaker 2>Make sure we're same peace. You're such a doll and

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<v Speaker 2>I had with everything that you do. You look great.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm hoping to lose weight as you did. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Have a dilemma. What would you do if you know

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<v Speaker 2>you're married with your husband. You guys been together for

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<v Speaker 2>eight years and then you start to lose that connection,

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<v Speaker 2>you start to fall out of love. You know, everything

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<v Speaker 2>just became boring. How do you rekindle that. What do

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<v Speaker 2>you recommend? What do you and Emilia do so you

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<v Speaker 2>guys can keep up, you know, the flame going. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know. I'm lost. I don't know if I really

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<v Speaker 2>want to continue this marriage. What advice can you give me?

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you? Love you.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm going to respect the fact that you want

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<v Speaker 1>to be anonymous. I get it, Okay, eight years. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>my relationship with the media is fairly new. We just

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<v Speaker 1>got married, like we've been together, like it's going to

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<v Speaker 1>be four years soon. You know, I don't know what's

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<v Speaker 1>going to happen when we are together eight years. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I hope that we are still in love and still

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<v Speaker 1>like super into each other. One thing that we told

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<v Speaker 1>each other is always to communicate and to be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>Like if I'm not feeling connected, we tell each other.

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<v Speaker 1>I tell him straight up. I was like, hey, I

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<v Speaker 1>feel disconnected from you, or he tells me, and I'm like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>what can I do? What is it that you're missing?

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<v Speaker 1>We actually had this conversation this morning. He's like, I

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<v Speaker 1>haven't been here. He's been working and traveling a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>He's like, I need a weekend with you. I'm like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>so what do you need to say? Just hug me.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, okay, cool, Like it's a lot of communication.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that you have been with this person for

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<v Speaker 1>so long there is definitely room to grow. It all depends,

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<v Speaker 1>like what is happening. It's hard to respond to like

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<v Speaker 1>answer that question, but I think there is hope. There's

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<v Speaker 1>hope because you've been with this person for a long time.

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<v Speaker 1>There's there are things that you love about him. So

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<v Speaker 1>definitely try to remember why you started dating this person,

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<v Speaker 1>mayor and why did you decide to marry this person,

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<v Speaker 1>and really try to rekindle that. You know, to like dates,

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<v Speaker 1>date night is important, surprising him with the things that

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<v Speaker 1>he likes, and or if he you're missing something, if

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<v Speaker 1>he's not doing something for you, then you need to

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<v Speaker 1>communicate that and try that. I feel like try until

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<v Speaker 1>trying is no longer an option. People do fall out

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<v Speaker 1>of love. That is something that is so scary to

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<v Speaker 1>me too. But I think when you look at it

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<v Speaker 1>as this is my companion. Because we change, we evolve,

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<v Speaker 1>we're not attracted to the same things as we get older,

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<v Speaker 1>so that's bound to happen. But I think when you

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<v Speaker 1>fall in love with the person's soul and you know

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<v Speaker 1>that you want this person with you forever. It's just

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<v Speaker 1>all depends. Maybe you want something new. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I need a little bit more information

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<v Speaker 1>to be able to give you better advice, but definitely

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<v Speaker 1>a communication. Really try to figure out what it is

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<v Speaker 1>that missing and what he's missing as well, and if

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<v Speaker 1>you really care about him. Maybe you're not in love,

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<v Speaker 1>but you can fall in love again, like get to

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<v Speaker 1>know each other again, because because there are different people

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<v Speaker 1>from eight years ago, you know. So I wish I

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<v Speaker 1>could give you better advice, But leave me another voice. No,

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<v Speaker 1>let me know, give me more details. If you can,

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<v Speaker 1>that way I can give you better advice. Okay, we're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna move on to Celeste.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, Cheeky's. First of all, I wanted to tell you

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<v Speaker 3>that I admire you so much and you motivate me

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<v Speaker 3>on the daily. My question was how do you cope

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<v Speaker 3>with infertility? I currently have a ten year old son

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<v Speaker 3>and I haven't been able to get pregnant after him,

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<v Speaker 3>and there's just some days that I just can't take

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<v Speaker 3>the pain anymore. I really really want to have another baby,

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<v Speaker 3>but I mean, if it's God's will that I don't.

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<v Speaker 3>Then I guess I don't. But it's just some days

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<v Speaker 3>are harder than others. So I just wanted to hear

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<v Speaker 3>your advice and thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>I love you, Oh Soles said, thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 1>I love you too. Infertility, I know that that. Thank goodness,

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<v Speaker 1>you have a baby already. That's a blessing because there's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of people that can't have children. At least

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<v Speaker 1>you were able to have one. Now I understand that

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<v Speaker 1>you want another baby. There are things that you can do.

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<v Speaker 1>I've heard of acupuncture for infertility supplements. And I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how old you are, but I'm hoping and you

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<v Speaker 1>sound young. I don't know, but I'm a little older.

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<v Speaker 1>So for me, that's why I decided to do IVF

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<v Speaker 1>because I wasn't sure when I was going to get pregnant,

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<v Speaker 1>and I kind of wanted to do it naturally. And anyways,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a whole other story. But how do you deal

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<v Speaker 1>with it? I think for me personally, like if I

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<v Speaker 1>if God decided that I wasn't meant to have a child,

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<v Speaker 1>I would just say, okay, then that is his will.

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<v Speaker 1>That is this is part of my journey and my

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<v Speaker 1>story to tell I think because of my faith, i'd

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<v Speaker 1>be able to cope with it a little better. I've

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<v Speaker 1>been able to, but for sure not lose faith because

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<v Speaker 1>I really do believe miracles happen. Go get check though,

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<v Speaker 1>Go check your like your eggs count, and the not

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<v Speaker 1>only the egg count, but how healthy your eggs are.

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<v Speaker 1>There are certain things that you can drink or take

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<v Speaker 1>should I say, to make sure that your eggs are

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<v Speaker 1>as healthy as possible. It all depends on your age

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<v Speaker 1>as well, but I think more than anything is that

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<v Speaker 1>like doing everything that you can to make sure that

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<v Speaker 1>your body's healthy to give birth. But yeah, and just

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<v Speaker 1>pray a lot. I mean, I don't know, That's what

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<v Speaker 1>I do.

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<v Speaker 2>I cope.

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<v Speaker 1>That's how I cope with everything. I pray and I

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<v Speaker 1>meditate and I'm just like okay, and then it just

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<v Speaker 1>makes you feel better. So hopefully that helps, and hopefully

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<v Speaker 1>you're able to get pregnant and have another baby. But

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<v Speaker 1>thank god you have one. That's a blessing in itself.

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<v Speaker 1>Our next question comes from Elizabeth.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi chi Geze.

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<v Speaker 5>I love you and your family and your mother, and

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<v Speaker 5>I love your good vibes that you've been sending out

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<v Speaker 5>to the world. I wanted to see what your favorite

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<v Speaker 5>type of wine was, and also I was kind of

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<v Speaker 5>curious to know if you've ever either read or listened

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<v Speaker 5>to the book Sacred Contracts. I think this is my

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<v Speaker 5>third time listening to it, and for whatever reason, I

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<v Speaker 5>just thought.

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<v Speaker 4>Of you this time around. So I figured I just

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<v Speaker 4>asked the question, and if you haven't read it, if

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<v Speaker 4>you could, you know, listen to it. Maybe it's something

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<v Speaker 4>you're interested in. Maybe not, but it did make me

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<v Speaker 4>think of you.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, bye, Elizabeth, thank you so much for your question.

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<v Speaker 1>I like it. Okay, so wine, I used to be

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<v Speaker 1>a big wine drinker back in the days, like red wine,

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<v Speaker 1>and I liked Merlau because I don't like sweet wine

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<v Speaker 1>or too dry, so I feel like merlow is, like

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<v Speaker 1>it's great. And then when I used to go to

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<v Speaker 1>Olive Garden, I used to always ask for like the

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<v Speaker 1>blush one. The pink one that they had was so good,

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<v Speaker 1>but it was a little bit like too sweet. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a tequila drinker. I want to get back into wine.

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<v Speaker 1>I do. I will. So that that's the first part

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<v Speaker 1>of your question, my favorite wine. The second part of

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<v Speaker 1>your question was if I've ever read or heard the

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<v Speaker 1>book Sacred Contracts. I have not, but I will definitely

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<v Speaker 1>look into it because this morning I was thinking, I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I really need to find a new book

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<v Speaker 1>to read. I like to read like two books at

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<v Speaker 1>a time. I know, weird. I have one like for

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<v Speaker 1>home and then one for the airplane when I travel.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, it's I don't like to read the

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<v Speaker 1>same Anyways, that's a whole other episode, but okay, I

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<v Speaker 1>will do that, Elizabeth. The next question comes from another

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<v Speaker 1>anonymous listener.

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<v Speaker 6>All right, let's see, Hey, Cheeky's so, I want to

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<v Speaker 6>remain anonymous for this, but if you want to put

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<v Speaker 6>a face to this message, I guess he can ask

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<v Speaker 6>behind the scenes because we follow each other on Instagram.

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<v Speaker 6>So straight to the point, I'm currently dealing with ad

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<v Speaker 6>l Man d L meaning you know, downlow and out

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<v Speaker 6>off the closet, very straight passing. And when we first

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<v Speaker 6>started talking last year, I already knew what it was,

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<v Speaker 6>you know, just sex. But a couple of things transpired

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<v Speaker 6>with them this year to where I felt like we're

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<v Speaker 6>progressing into you know, you know, something in the city

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<v Speaker 6>that he's staying in at the moment he is dating

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<v Speaker 6>and the girlfriend now she read our messages and you know,

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<v Speaker 6>he's new to her, so I really don't like she's

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<v Speaker 6>just like, you know there. But I've been knowing him

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<v Speaker 6>and I just felt like, should I keep talking to him?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 6>Is it something I should fight for or leave alone?

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<v Speaker 6>Because you know, dating right now, especially in the gear road,

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<v Speaker 6>is very superficial. So I'm like, at this point, I'm

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<v Speaker 6>just gonna want to take what I can, you know,

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<v Speaker 6>because it's been a while since I've talked to somebody

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<v Speaker 6>in this way and I'm kind of bored. But I

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<v Speaker 6>know it definitely deserves better. But should I keep tagging

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<v Speaker 6>along with the antics or trying to move on and

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<v Speaker 6>you know, not talk to nobody. I guess.

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<v Speaker 1>Papasito, you already know the answer. And you know what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna tell you. If you know me and we

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<v Speaker 1>follow each other on Instagram, you know what I'm about.

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<v Speaker 1>If you listen to my podcast, you know what I'm about.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that you're wasting your time. Straight up, you're

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<v Speaker 1>wasting your time. This guy is straight ish, he's in

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<v Speaker 1>the closet. He is not ever going to be able

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<v Speaker 1>to give you the place that you deserve because he

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<v Speaker 1>is not comfortable yet with his own sexuality. Once he

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<v Speaker 1>comes out, hopefully he does and says, you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm bisexual. Great, then maybe you have a chance. But

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<v Speaker 1>he's still talking to girls on the side, like he's

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<v Speaker 1>very confused, and you're gonna get all wrapped up in

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<v Speaker 1>this confusion of his and you're only gonna end up hurt.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's not fair to this girl. It's not fair

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<v Speaker 1>to you. It's not good karma for you knowing that

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<v Speaker 1>this is his truth and you're okaying it, like you

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<v Speaker 1>are not giving yourself your place and you are lowering

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<v Speaker 1>your standard so much and as much as it's gonna hurt,

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<v Speaker 1>I would say, bang it out one last time if

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<v Speaker 1>you want just to get it out of your freaking system,

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<v Speaker 1>bang it out real good and then block them and

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<v Speaker 1>go find another penis to sit on, because I just

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<v Speaker 1>sorry if that sounds really like harsh, but like you

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<v Speaker 1>can't like get a vibrator, like do something, love yourself

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<v Speaker 1>enough to say I need to walk away from this

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm not getting what I want and I deserve

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<v Speaker 1>out of this. If you don't give yourself your place,

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<v Speaker 1>no one else will. And this guy seems confused, so jess,

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<v Speaker 1>you gotta let him be confused on his own and

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<v Speaker 1>not get involved, because someone's gonna get hurt for sure,

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<v Speaker 1>and I hope it's not you. So that is my advice.

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<v Speaker 1>And wow, these are really good questions, guys, great questions,

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<v Speaker 1>different questions. I love that. This is why I love

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<v Speaker 1>Dear Cheekys, and I hope and pray that you guys

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy it as much as I do. To be able

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<v Speaker 1>to listen to you guys and believe me, everything that

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<v Speaker 1>I tell you, I would tell my sister, I would

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<v Speaker 1>tell a friend. I am truly giving you my best advice.

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<v Speaker 1>And sometimes I don't have advice. I sometimes I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I have no idea, But I just want you guys

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<v Speaker 1>to know that I care and that I'm here and

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<v Speaker 1>that if you have a question, it could be about anything.

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<v Speaker 1>I tell you guys this all the time, about love, finances, business,

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<v Speaker 1>anything and everything. I am here to answer it. And

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<v Speaker 1>you can leave your question at speakpipe dot com slash

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<v Speaker 1>Cheeks and Chill podcast. That you guys for listening, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'll catch you on the next episode of Dear Cheeky's.

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<v Speaker 1>I Love you guys, Take care, be good. This is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of iHeartRadio and Mike Quintura podcast Network. Follow

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<v Speaker 1>us on Instagram at Mike Quintura Podcasts and follow me

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<v Speaker 1>Chipy's That's c h i.

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<v Speaker 2>Q u i s.

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<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you get your favorite shows.