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Speaker 1: Confession I can't take back arms.

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Speaker 2: Mouse speak text to seventy five ninety two says my

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Speaker 2: wife texted me asking if I could do a small

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Speaker 2: household chore. I replied Oki dokie, which got auto corrected

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Speaker 2: to okay, donkey. Now I'm sleeping on the couch. Few technology,

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Speaker 2: Sometimes autocorrect really can't hurt you.

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Speaker 1: You're trying to bab, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: It's like babe, I'm sureley.

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Speaker 3: Without being asked.

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Speaker 2: On this segment, we auto correct your name to something

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Speaker 2: else in order to protect you so that you can

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Speaker 2: confess your secrets, like today's caller, whose name is being

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Speaker 2: auto corrected to Ralph. So, Ralph, is there anything polite

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Speaker 2: you would like to stay that we can auto correct

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Speaker 2: into something slightly offensive?

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Speaker 1: Is fun? Watch and if you think otherwise, you should

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Speaker 1: not be here right.

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Speaker 2: Not sure what that means, but perfect that works. Voice

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Speaker 2: changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready,

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Speaker 2: let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: So I'm close to fifty and I have to say

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Speaker 1: something really really embarrassing that happened to me back in

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Speaker 1: my twenties. Something nobody yeah, something nobody knows about.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well, it's a long time to hold on to

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Speaker 2: a secret. Yeah, what happened in your twenties?

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Speaker 1: So back then I was hotthead as many people growing

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Speaker 1: up get to be. So I was willing to fight

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Speaker 1: anyone and anything.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, no, wonder you're an NFL fan.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, rip his helmet off.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I'm going to show a bit more of

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Speaker 1: my age back when Blockbuster was still around.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, wow, that's a video rental story. Alexis Blacks lived.

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Speaker 1: Though, So I remember I was really looking forward to

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Speaker 1: renting a movie The Mummy. Big guys seen it. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: when it first came out super popular. I went to

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Speaker 1: the Blockbuster three days in a row. They never had

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Speaker 1: it in stock Oh yeah, man.

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Speaker 3: I was just telling my kids about this process, like

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Speaker 3: how disappointing it would be, and how you'd watch this

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Speaker 3: whatever stupid movie leah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Imagine now going into your TV and you're streaming

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Speaker 1: and not having the movie in stock.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Netflix is like too many people watching. Sorry, that's

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Speaker 2: not good for your twenty year old rage.

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Speaker 1: Oh how many TVs would be destroyed? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, So what happened? I mean, like you're on

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Speaker 3: the third day of trying to see the Mummy and

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Speaker 3: it's not working out.

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Speaker 1: So I start to leave on that third day and

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Speaker 1: I see a copy of The Mummy on the counter

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Speaker 1: next to the guy. Yeah, a copy of it next

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Speaker 1: to the guy running the register.

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Speaker 3: Okay, you go just returned it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm excited, so I go. I asked the

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Speaker 1: cashier about it, and he said it's already spoken for.

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Speaker 1: It was for him and his girlfriend that we're going.

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Speaker 3: To watch it that night, you know, but he's got

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Speaker 3: to have some Benny's working at a video rental s.

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Speaker 2: How did you take that?

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Speaker 1: I was like, are you serious? I've been dying to

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Speaker 1: get to it. It was totally cold to me and

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Speaker 1: was like nothing I can do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's that Blockbuster quality customer service that peplement

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Speaker 2: business so long, and.

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Speaker 3: You're like a teenager working at Blockbuster, Like why would

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Speaker 3: you care?

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Speaker 1: So I don't know why. It made me more pissed.

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Speaker 1: So I left the store really angry. Okay, and I was,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was a total idiot. I bought some gasolene,

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Speaker 1: got some matches.

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Speaker 2: Wait wait, whoa in arson took a turn?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? And not rocking off?

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Speaker 3: What did you do? With the gasoline in matches.

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Speaker 1: I was fully planning to set the place on fire.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, okay, you say the phrase you don't do it?

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Speaker 3: You know that that's like eighty steps further than normal normal,

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Speaker 3: like being upset.

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Speaker 1: So I get there. It's around one am. I'm in

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Speaker 1: the back alley behind the Blockbuster, and for some reason,

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Speaker 1: I like the match before pouring out the gasoline.

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Speaker 2: You're just too excited. Just make sure this works, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And then I had a little bit of gas

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Speaker 1: on my hands from when I pumped it. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm on fire.

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Speaker 2: Oh you put yourself on fire. No, I'm only lying

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Speaker 2: because you're obviously okay and alive.

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Speaker 3: I know, but that's like you're by yourself, Like, what

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Speaker 3: do you do?

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Speaker 1: What happened? So it's both my hands, Blayne going up

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Speaker 1: my arms. Oh so I drop and roll and try

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Speaker 1: to take it out, patting myself, and then I put

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Speaker 1: my hands in a puddle. Thank god, it was water.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not like a puddle of gasoline.

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Speaker 1: He's an alley.

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Speaker 3: Oh anything, I mean anything? Rightly? Did you have to

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Speaker 3: go to the hospital.

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Speaker 1: So when I put the fire out, I obviously could

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Speaker 1: not drive, so I then walked a nearby convenience store

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Speaker 1: in excruciating pain, and I asked the worker there to

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Speaker 1: call nine one one, and an ambulance came. They took

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Speaker 1: me to a hospital. That's where they treated me for

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Speaker 1: minor burns.

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Speaker 2: God, yeah, dude, inane.

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Speaker 3: Uh did the Blockbuster catch fire?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Blockbuster was Okay, that's important to what happened after that.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't go to work the entire next week.

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Speaker 1: I told everyone I had a back case, and then.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, don't tell them. I tried to set

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Speaker 2: the Blockbuster on fire, got fired on mew oops.

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Speaker 1: But then when I did go back to work, I

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Speaker 1: started wording gloves, including ski gloves, for the next few months.

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Speaker 3: But the real question is did you ever get to

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Speaker 3: see the Mummy?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I mean the scene that you just painted for us

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Speaker 2: is way more exciting than and you'll see and you'll

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Speaker 2: see in the Mummy.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to know if it was worth all day.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I did when I was at the hospital.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's quite a tale. I can't believe you told.

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Speaker 1: That, but there you go. I finally got that out

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Speaker 1: of my chef and told someone about it. And it's

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Speaker 1: a room full of strangers and possibly hundreds of listeners.

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Speaker 2: Yes, lucky this wasn't like now because social media would

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Speaker 2: have found this video.

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Speaker 3: I probably been all over, but he would have been

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Speaker 3: like the real life Mummy because of the bandages.

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Speaker 2: That's right, It did come full circle for you. Jeez. Well,

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Speaker 2: thanks for sharing that man in text in seventy five

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Speaker 2: nine too. If you have a confession you've been holding

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Speaker 2: on to, we can hide your identity, mask your voice,

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Speaker 2: and make you our next mass speaker. Your phone tabs

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Speaker 2: coming up right after this

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Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,