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Speaker 1: All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please admit your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. It's just that simple, and

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Speaker 1: we could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now. Buckle up and hold on. Tark is what

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Speaker 1: we have here. It's a Strawberry Lanta. You're stupid, Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Nephew's subject he loves to mention his ex wife. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm married to my high school sweetheart, but

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Speaker 1: we have only been married for four years. After high school,

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Speaker 1: we went our separate ways and he was married for

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Speaker 1: twenty years and had three kids with his wife. I

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Speaker 1: was married for thirteen years and I got a divorce

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Speaker 1: and was raising my two children alone. When I reconnect

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Speaker 1: it with my high school sweetheart, we blended our families

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Speaker 1: and picked right back up where we left off in

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Speaker 1: high school. We have lots in common and we share

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Speaker 1: a lot of old friends and memories. The only problem

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Speaker 1: I'm having in the marriage is when my husband mentions

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Speaker 1: how his ex wife did things, and he compares me

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Speaker 1: to her. He makes sure he always gives me credit

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Speaker 1: as being better than his ex. But I need him

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Speaker 1: to stop mentioning her altogether. We were having a crab

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Speaker 1: boil and I peeled the shrimp before adding them to

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Speaker 1: the pot. He told me he likes a shrimp peeled

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Speaker 1: because he likes a shrimp peeled because Carol used to

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Speaker 1: leave the shell on. I don't need to know what

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Speaker 1: Carol did with her shrimp. It's annoying and hurtful, especially

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Speaker 1: when he does it in front of others. Some of

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Speaker 1: his friends from his previous marriage are now my friends too,

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Speaker 1: and it's uncomfortable for them If my husband mentions his

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Speaker 1: ex wife in our conversation. I get that he spent

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Speaker 1: twenty years with the woman, so he got used to

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Speaker 1: how she did things, but he and I need to

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Speaker 1: get settled into our own ways of doing things. He

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Speaker 1: overheard me talking to my son and I told him

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Speaker 1: he's the spitting image of his daddy. My husband later

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Speaker 1: told me that it sounds like I miss my ex husband.

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Speaker 1: Why can't he understand that's how I feel when he

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Speaker 1: talks about his ex. How can I get him to

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Speaker 1: stop bringing up his ex wife to me and others. Well,

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Speaker 1: if I were petty, you know, if I were like

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Speaker 1: a petty and vindictive person, I would just tell you

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Speaker 1: to mention your ex every time he mentioned Carol, his

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Speaker 1: ex every time, and maybe even in the bedroom, although

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Speaker 1: I really wouldn't advise that one. But for me, you know,

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Speaker 1: depends on how petty you want to get here. Okay,

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Speaker 1: get betty, Petty, Betty, petty, betty. You know you could

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Speaker 1: make a contest out of it to see who could

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Speaker 1: mention them the most. Okay, But I'm not petty betty,

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Speaker 1: So I say explain it to him in a rational,

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Speaker 1: calm way. You could start with something like, you know, honey,

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Speaker 1: remember when you overheard me talking to my son, to

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Speaker 1: our son about how much he looks like his dad. Well,

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Speaker 1: you told me, you know, you said it sounded like

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Speaker 1: I missed my ex. That's what you said. But that

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Speaker 1: wasn't the case, you know. But guess what, I understand

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Speaker 1: what you meant by that completely, because every time you

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Speaker 1: mentioned Carol, your X, I feel like you're comparing me

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Speaker 1: to her, and I think you do that a lot.

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Speaker 1: You were with her for twenty years. I get that.

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Speaker 1: So you became accustomed to the way she did things

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Speaker 1: so much so that it seems like you can't help

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Speaker 1: mentioning it every chance you get, especially when we're around

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Speaker 1: our friends. At least I said that to my son,

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Speaker 1: our son and private when it was just the two

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Speaker 1: of us and no one else. I'm bringing all this

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Speaker 1: up because I don't think you realize how much you

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Speaker 1: mentioned Carol, your ex to me. I mean, do you

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Speaker 1: understand how that makes me feel? You're talking to your

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Speaker 1: husband now, do you understand that? And I hope that's

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Speaker 1: what it is, that you just don't really get or

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Speaker 1: realize what you're doing, and not the fact that you

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Speaker 1: miss her like you accuse me of missing my ex.

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Speaker 1: So I'm you know, I'm saying all this to say, please,

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Speaker 1: let's be mindful. Let's be conscientious of what we say

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Speaker 1: to each other and how we say things, how we

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Speaker 1: speak to each other. Please, we've been married for four years.

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Speaker 1: We want this to last a long time till death.

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Speaker 1: So as not to cause any more hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

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Speaker 1: We both have moved on. Remember that's why we're together.

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Speaker 1: That's how we got together in the first place. Because

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Speaker 1: we've moved on. Let's leave the past and the past

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Speaker 1: we have to do that, say something like that, Like

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Speaker 1: I said, in a rational, calm manner, don't go tit

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Speaker 1: for tat with them, you know, unless you absolutely have to.

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Speaker 1: But I wouldn't do that, but just remind him. Maybe

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Speaker 1: he's you know, not thinking clearly enough, and you got

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Speaker 1: to remind him. But if you need to get Patty

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Speaker 1: Girl gone and get Patty Steve, well, I'm in total

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Speaker 1: disagreement with you. Sherla Ah. This letter don't call for

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Speaker 1: all that I think so beautiful response, well thought out,

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Speaker 1: everything like that. Here's a problem. High school sweethearts. He

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Speaker 1: was married for twenty years, had three kids, he was

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Speaker 1: man for thirteen hand two. Y'all got back together, pick

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Speaker 1: right back where we left off. We got lots in commas.

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Speaker 1: We share a lot of old friends and memories. The

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Speaker 1: only problem I'm having with this marriage here is what

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Speaker 1: the letter is about. It's when my husband mentioned how

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Speaker 1: his ex wife did things and he compares me to her.

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Speaker 1: I have one question for him, why is she your ex?

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Speaker 1: The fact that he keeps mentioning her, We've got to

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Speaker 1: dig into why she is the X because if you

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Speaker 1: miss hug and you keep mentioning her, and you keeps

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Speaker 1: comparing you to her. Maybe he didn't want out, he

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Speaker 1: just ended up out. Maybe he's not mentioning her because

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Speaker 1: he's just habit. Maybe it's a longing. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but I have a couple of ideas for you when

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Speaker 1: we come back, because this is crazy. Just keep mentioning

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Speaker 1: her name Carol, Part two of Steve's Carol used to

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Speaker 1: lead the shells on. We'll have part two of Steve's

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Speaker 1: response coming up in twenty three minutes after be our

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Speaker 1: subject he loves to mention his ex wife. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. He loves

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Speaker 1: to mention his ex wife. This man keep bringing up

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Speaker 1: his ex wife to his carron wife. Your husband mentioned

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Speaker 1: how his ex wife did stuff, and he compassed me

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Speaker 1: to her. Now he makes sure he give you credit though,

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Speaker 1: for being better than his ex. But I need him

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Speaker 1: to stop mentioning her altogether. He was a good example.

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Speaker 1: We're having a crab barrel crab boyl excuse me having

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Speaker 1: a crab boil. I peeled the shrimp before adding him

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Speaker 1: to the pot. He told me he likes to shrimp

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Speaker 1: peel because Carol used to lead a shell. I don't

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Speaker 1: need to know what Cal did. See well, he is

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Speaker 1: just Shelley, say get patty. I disagree with it, but

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Speaker 1: he is a freeway. You have to He told me

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Speaker 1: he liked to shrimp peel called Carol used to leave

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Speaker 1: it on the ship. Then Yo' response, I should be

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Speaker 1: Harol always liked him off to shell it and that's

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Speaker 1: why I figured you would too. That's petty sometimes, all right, Well,

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Speaker 1: let me try. It's annoying. It her fault, especially when

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Speaker 1: you do in front of others, some of his friends

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Speaker 1: from the previous manage and now my friends too. And

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Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable for them. If my husband mentioned that his

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Speaker 1: ex wife in our conversation, if he's still uncomfortable for them,

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Speaker 1: if he mentions his ex wife in our conversation, Shirley

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Speaker 1: saying mentioned yours too. Okay, Shirley, say something that the

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Speaker 1: man would say about a woman in the conversation with

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Speaker 1: a group of friends, and I'll give you her response.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's how you wear in your hair. Oh I

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Speaker 1: like it better when Carol. Carol, when she wear her hair.

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Speaker 1: She used to have the bangs kind of swooped to

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Speaker 1: the side. Well, I wear my hair like cal Mama,

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Speaker 1: that's I go to. That's how I just started, right there,

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Speaker 1: got to be petty. Try another one, Shirley. Oh you

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Speaker 1: got on those shoes. Oh Carol used to wear red

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Speaker 1: bottom Well, you know, I get some red red bottoms,

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Speaker 1: but you don't wear they don't come in your side.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who I insulted on that. What you

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Speaker 1: say you got too deep? Yeah, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: just try to hurt somebody. Okay, Now who am I, Shirley?

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Speaker 1: You're the husband who always compares his wife to No,

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Speaker 1: you're doing the husband, and I'm showing how to come back. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you know, okay, now I go okay, yeah, so

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Speaker 1: I'll just do the same one. Those aren't red bottoms.

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Speaker 1: Carol always wore red bottoms. My ex Carol him. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well Carol must have had more money, because yo, broke ass.

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Speaker 1: I'm down here, pay less. You're supposed to bringing her

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Speaker 1: ex husband? Go ahead? Shit, okay, all right? What are

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Speaker 1: these pancakes or waffles? Because when Carol cooked him, I

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Speaker 1: could always tell the difference. We come hell It never

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Speaker 1: made Harold no difference what I did because I was

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Speaker 1: naked cooking both of them. Okay, now you get your

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Speaker 1: legs now, I'm ready, Okay, all right, all right, let's

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Speaker 1: let's go see. Um you want to go see that

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Speaker 1: a comedy. Harold and I always liked, you know, thrillers,

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Speaker 1: Shoot him Up, stuff like that, Murder mysteries, gangster stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're like me and Harold like pawing up. So we're

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Speaker 1: gonna wash a little punk ass movie. You and Carol

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Speaker 1: used to watch me and Harold was in here doing tabletop. Wow,

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Speaker 1: have you gained a little weight? Carol has that same

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Speaker 1: outfit and she it fit her really nicely, you know her.

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Speaker 1: I like the way it fit her butt. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of I don't know, because Harold kept all my dresses

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Speaker 1: on top of my butt, so I don't even know.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know. I don't even Yeah, so I don't

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Speaker 1: even know if mine was fitting it. Now you know

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Speaker 1: hairl so crazy. Oh that's what kind of car you have,

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Speaker 1: because you know, um, Harold, you know he had a

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Speaker 1: g wagon, Carol, I mean, Carol had a Thank you Carol.

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Speaker 1: Well he Harol had a herse. I don't forget it.

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Speaker 1: He was doing me so hard, he was killing me.

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Speaker 1: I just crawled up in the back and he drive

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Speaker 1: me to work. So oh so we're going on vacation,

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Speaker 1: honey after COVID okay, oh uncommercial? Oh um. We always

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Speaker 1: went on private, but okay, we must go commercial. She

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Speaker 1: knew pilots and everything Carol did. Damn, maybe I should

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Speaker 1: have married Carol. All right, thank you? Yeah you did

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Speaker 1: comments on today Strawberry Letter. Yeah, you've gotta get patty

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Speaker 1: with this when you do. But post your comments on

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey, f them on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and Facebook, and please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast

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Speaker 1: on demand now. Coming up at forty six minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour, we're going to talk about the Democratic National

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Speaker 1: Convention last night. Right after this, you're listening to the

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show