1 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Strictly Business, the podcast in 2 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,119 Speaker 1: which we speak with some of the brightest minds working 3 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: in the media business today. I'm Andrew Wallenstein, and the 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,919 Speaker 1: dog days of summer are traditionally the time psychotherapists of 5 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 1: all stripes take some well deserved time off. Well, Strictly 6 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: Business has managed to coax one of them back in 7 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: front of the couch to fill the vacuum. But this 8 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: is no average shrink. Doctor Orna Garalmik is the featured 9 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 1: physician on the Showtime series Couples Therapy, where she helps 10 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 1: relationships in crisis, letting viewers follow their progress we're lack 11 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: thereof from episode to episode. She's currently shooting a fifth season, 12 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: so we're glad she's making time today to talk about 13 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: what it's like to adapt her practice to the small screen. 14 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to Strictly Business. 15 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 2: Auna, Thank you, thank you for inviting me, Andrew. 16 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: We must explain for the uninitiated and maybe some cynics. 17 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: Your show features real life couples sharing real life problems 18 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,559 Speaker 1: with the world, and of course you are a very 19 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: real practicing clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst. You teach An NYU's 20 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: postdoctoral psychoanalysis program, So you're not just playing one on TV, 21 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 1: so to speak. 22 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 2: I'm not playing one at all. 23 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 1: I'm myself okay, But it begs a question, what is 24 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 1: a nice, pre eminently qualified therapist like you doing on 25 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 1: a medium like this, What motivates you to open up 26 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 1: what is a very private process typically? 27 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I join in the question because 28 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 2: I asked myself that question still, But it was it 29 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 2: didn't It happened kind of gradually. It was not at 30 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 2: all my plan. I mean, most people who choose to 31 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 2: be psychoanalysts, including myself, are generally very private people. We're 32 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 2: usually in a profession that privacy is like the number 33 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 2: one frame or rule of the game, right, And we 34 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,680 Speaker 2: like to sit behind our patients and not even look 35 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 2: at them face to face. So we're typically very private people. 36 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 2: But I have become gradually somewhat more public being in academics. 37 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 2: So I teach, and I write, and I write not 38 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 2: only for academics, I write kind of beyond the scope 39 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 2: of psychoanalysts. So I've already had somewhat of a public 40 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 2: reach before, and that's probably what got the makers of 41 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 2: the show to got to me. Somehow. They reached out 42 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 2: to me, and first I thought I would consult to 43 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 2: them just to make sure kind of they're keeping in 44 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 2: like doing a good job in representing my profession. Sure, 45 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 2: but we really hit it off and they convinced me 46 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 2: to actually try and do it myself, which was a 47 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 2: total strange idea to me, to try to do something 48 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 2: so private on camera, and none of us knew it 49 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,359 Speaker 2: was going to work. We didn't know that function on camera, 50 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 2: we didn't know that the work could be done on camera, 51 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 2: and it was all like one big experiment. 52 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: So what made you, you know, give this a world? 53 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 2: Many things. First of all, I guess just kind of 54 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 2: an adventurous spirit, something about the adventure of it. And 55 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 2: I really liked the filmmakers. They're just incredible people, and 56 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 2: they felt like I could do something with these people. 57 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 2: It would be good, it would be of high quality, 58 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 2: it would be ethical, it would be a real project, 59 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 2: it wouldn't be some kind of fake representation. But I 60 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 2: also feel in ways compelled to represent the prefetsion well. 61 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 2: And I think the world kind of needs a lot 62 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 2: more psychological and psychoanalytic thinking nowadays. I think it's and 63 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 2: I think that's one of the reasons the show became 64 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:20,840 Speaker 2: so successful. It just hit a spot that is desperately needed, 65 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:27,280 Speaker 2: which is like deeper, slower thought into like the underlying motivations. 66 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: So I mean, I couldn't agree more in terms of 67 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 1: that public need. But you know, I've also wondered, are 68 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: you want a mission of sorts, maybe even to sort 69 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: of preserve the world of psychoanalysis, which you know is 70 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: often described And please dispute my characterization if you take 71 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: issue with it as something of a dying art approaching obsolescence? 72 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: Did you am? I off both there? 73 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 2: I have two things to say about that. Honestly, I'm 74 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 2: not doing the show to promote psychoanalysis or to promote psychotherapy. 75 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 2: I don't. I mean, there are not enough therapists out 76 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 2: there in the world. There's obviously a great need, but 77 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 2: I'm not there to promote therapy. I'm there mostly to 78 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 2: promote psychological thinking. See, I want people to come out 79 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 2: of the show thinking about themselves in a deeper way, 80 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:32,279 Speaker 2: thinking about fellow humans in a deeper way, thinking psychologically, 81 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 2: not oh, how do I go and find a therapist 82 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 2: right now? So that's my objective as far as, like 83 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,159 Speaker 2: you know, since I became a psychoanalyst, which was quite 84 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 2: some time ago. There's always been talk about like the oh, 85 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 2: it's a dying field, it's a dying profession. That is 86 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 2: not true. I mean, especially not in New York. Sure, 87 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 2: you constantly people looking for therapy. They are not enough 88 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 2: therapists around. People want to do real deep work. They 89 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 2: start with regular therapy, then they want to go deeper 90 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 2: into analysis. It is not a dying profession. And there 91 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 2: are other ways that psychoanalysis is relevant in the world, 92 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 2: not only by way of therapy. It's it's it's a 93 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 2: it's a way of thinking. It's a way of analyzing 94 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 2: the world, and we need it. 95 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: I get it. And so you mentioned that you had 96 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: to be sort of coaxed into trying this out. We 97 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: should mention the names of the producers, by the way, 98 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,720 Speaker 1: Elise Steinberg, Josh Kriegman, and forgive me if I'm miss 99 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: to pray. 100 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:32,479 Speaker 2: You like to pray? 101 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, there you go. And so they put you 102 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,840 Speaker 1: in the saddle, and I'm curious what that first experience 103 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: was like and were you hooked or maybe still a 104 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: little skeptical. 105 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 2: I was definitely skeptical. We started with kind of a 106 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 2: few test sessions with Actually the cameras were still in 107 00:06:54,360 --> 00:07:00,919 Speaker 2: the room when we were doing that, and part of 108 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 2: what happened was oddly, even though I was nervous and 109 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 2: confused about how this is all going to play out, 110 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 2: the work is the work. That was Like I remember 111 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 2: coming out of the few test sessions and saying, wow, 112 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 2: I feel like a baker. I know how to make bread. 113 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 2: Doesn't matter the conditions, you always have to do the 114 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 2: same thing. So the material just presents itself and you 115 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 2: know what to do. I've been doing it for so 116 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 2: many years, so that was like a first surprise. But 117 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 2: then even the people I was kind of working with, 118 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 2: even though they were nervous and confused and not exactly 119 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 2: knowing what's going to happen here, it just you know, 120 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 2: you listen to people and they want to tell you 121 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 2: their stories, and then you think together about how to 122 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 2: problem solve and it just happens. 123 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: It's like, got it. 124 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's stronger than the artific context. 125 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: And but you mentioned artificial context. And so the question 126 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: that arises for me is it certainly looks like what 127 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: you're doing is actual therapy, but is it? I mean, 128 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 1: do you have to explain to participants, perhaps that this 129 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: is maybe like a similacrum of therapy, or you're saying, no, 130 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: this is the real deal, and there's something about I mean, 131 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 1: I guess I wonder if somehow the cameras corrupt the 132 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: process despite the best of intentions. 133 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, really really good questions. It is not therapy per 134 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 2: se in the sense that, first of all, you know, 135 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 2: as I mentioned earlier, like the iron frame of confidentiality 136 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:56,199 Speaker 2: is gone. So whoever starts this work knows that this 137 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 2: is not private information between them and me. It's potentially 138 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 2: going to be broadcast to the world. So in that 139 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 2: sense it's definitely not regular therapy. But also part of 140 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 2: the contract of therapy is the patient pays the analyst, 141 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 2: and we don't do that. I mean, this is free, 142 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 2: so it's not it's a different The whole frame of 143 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 2: it is not the frame of therapy, right, not that 144 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:28,679 Speaker 2: aren't pro bono therapies, but the entire frame of it 145 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 2: is different. So we call them participants, not patients, the couples, 146 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 2: and it is in its in its contract and its 147 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,080 Speaker 2: ens in its essence, it is a similar croom in 148 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 2: the sense that certain aspects of the therapy of original 149 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 2: therapy continue. I think as a therapist, the work we're 150 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 2: doing is therapeutic. It's hopefully helpful, but the basic tenants, 151 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 2: the base frame is gone, so it's a similar room, 152 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 2: but many aspects of the therapeutic process continue and are 153 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 2: very powerful. So we're sitting together, I'm thinking analytically and 154 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 2: systematically about what they're presenting me with. They're talking about 155 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 2: their problems. We're trying to problem solve. Together. We build 156 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 2: a relationship of a certain kind of trust and mutual care, 157 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,840 Speaker 2: and good things happen, like people get better with the 158 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 2: material they bring. 159 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 1: So that's certainly clear to anyone who has watched the 160 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 1: past four seasons. And I'm actually curious, as you're currently 161 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: shooting the fifth season, has the process changed as your 162 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:51,199 Speaker 1: approach evolved. Does it get easier because you sounded initially 163 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: almost as if like you still need a little coaxing 164 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: to even do this. 165 00:10:55,600 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if it gets I mean, I'm 166 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 2: convinced now that what we're doing is an incredibly useful 167 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,199 Speaker 2: thing for the public, which is kind of an amazing 168 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 2: thing to be involved in nowadays. I mean, there's so 169 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 2: many things that are going wrong with our world and 170 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 2: to be part of something that is actually helpful for 171 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 2: the world and pushes whoever is like watching it is 172 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 2: pushing them towards more compassion and slowness and empathy and goodwill. 173 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 2: To be part of that is an incredible experience. And 174 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 2: the team I'm working with is just, you know, just 175 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 2: the best people on earth. But it's not easy. It's 176 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: not It didn't get easier. No, it's hard work. We 177 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:55,559 Speaker 2: take our job and we take the mission very seriously. 178 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 2: So there's like an enormous amount of like thought and 179 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 2: intention and presence that goes into this project by everyone. 180 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 2: It's kind of a very intense commitment. Like every season 181 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,200 Speaker 2: that we shoot, it's like a full on dive into 182 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 2: a few months of just full on commitment to the 183 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 2: well being of the people to like a dignified representation 184 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 2: of who they are. It's it's not easy. It's very satisfying, 185 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 2: and I think we all feel just incredibly lucky to 186 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 2: be part of this. But it's hard work. 187 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 1: I do wonder though, you know, I can't help but 188 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,319 Speaker 1: think about the field in which you operate and the 189 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: fundamentals that many insist on, and so I know you've 190 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 1: gotten compliments. I'm curious though, if you've gotten criticism people 191 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: who say that, well, once you pull out certain frameworks, 192 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: this is not something that is this cheapen or distort 193 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 1: what the actual process is. 194 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I oddly I did not get a 195 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 2: lot of criticism. To my face, I don't want. 196 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:12,679 Speaker 1: To know how that works. 197 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what's happening behind closed doors. But 198 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:21,359 Speaker 2: what I have heard and what I've read are legitimate questions, 199 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 2: really legitimate questions about you know, big ethical questions like 200 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:32,680 Speaker 2: even people who agree to participate and are supposedly benefiting 201 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 2: from the show, do they end up regretting it? Do 202 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 2: they feel exploited? And those are always big questions that 203 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 2: we take super seriously, and I think it would be 204 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 2: dishonest to say that there isn't some degree of compromise 205 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 2: for at least some of the participants experience privacy, and 206 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 2: they may you know, they consent is like a funny thing. 207 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 2: They might feel totally gung ho while they're doing it, 208 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 2: but a year later they might feel very differently about 209 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,319 Speaker 2: it and have regrets or feel like, oh, it would 210 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,679 Speaker 2: have been very different if I did it now, or 211 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 2: and that's real. So you know, my way of thinking 212 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 2: about it is that and I think the participants feel 213 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 2: that way, is that the benefit to the public ultimately 214 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:41,320 Speaker 2: fit it outweighs this this kind of sacrifice. But yeah, 215 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 2: they're they're they're ethical questions here. I mean, I were 216 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 2: super sensitive when when people during the filming, if anyone 217 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 2: is feeling uncomfortable about what they're going through, they're always 218 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 2: free to like drop out and stop. It's people are 219 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 2: always doing it with like a great degree of like 220 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 2: wanting to do it, being grateful for doing it. There 221 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 2: there there's never any kind of pressure on them. So 222 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 2: but it's it's it's a complicated issue. 223 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: How involved are you in choosing which participants participate. I 224 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: assume the producers have their thoughts, but I'm curious if 225 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 1: you know, producers can say, hey, here's a couple with 226 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 1: an interesting dilemma, and you may find, you know, what, 227 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 1: these people need the real deal and maybe aren't suitable 228 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: for TV. 229 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. There, there's there's a whole team that is that 230 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 2: they recruit people and they interview people, and there's there's 231 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 2: a team of psychologists that interview people before I meet them. 232 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 2: So I'm not involved in any of that. I basically 233 00:15:54,320 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 2: meet the people for the first session on camera. Oh, 234 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 2: but if I meet people and I feel like, I mean, 235 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 2: it's been very rare. But if I feel like people 236 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 2: are too vulnerable or there might be kind of an 237 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 2: issue that we didn't think about or that didn't come 238 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 2: up in earlier interviews, I can say I don't think 239 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 2: this is a good idea, this is too vulnerable a couple, 240 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 2: or let's say there's a vulnerable kid that's involved in 241 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 2: the family or something like that, And then I say, 242 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 2: this is not a good idea. But it's rare because 243 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 2: usually they do a really good job of screening. 244 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: Sure, I guess I find as I watch that I 245 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: want to pay you the compliment of saying you really, 246 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 1: you know, you radiate a genuine integrity and it really 247 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: comes across. But it's also a bit of a backhanded 248 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: compliment because I worry about that. I worry about as 249 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: you become a more and more public figure, how you 250 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: protect that integrity and how you preserve it. I mean, 251 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 1: do you ever fear as you I mean, you're several 252 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 1: years into this now sort of a corruptive influence, because 253 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 1: sometimes I see a lot of no one does typically 254 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: what you do, but there are certain people whose names 255 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: I won't name, who are you know, therapists who go 256 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 1: into various modalities of this in the media, and I'm 257 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: amazed at the transformation over time, let's put it that gently. 258 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:27,440 Speaker 2: Totally agree. And I'm very aware of the corruptive nature 259 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 2: that is lurking every corner, whether it's the corruptive nature 260 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,679 Speaker 2: of money, you know, being offered to do something that 261 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 2: will pay you a lot of money but will be 262 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,880 Speaker 2: kind of a real compromise to the profession, or the 263 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 2: corruptive nature of like somehow, you know, I don't know, 264 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 2: somehow fame seems to have some kind of pull for 265 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 2: people I don't. That doesn't do much for me. But yeah, 266 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:59,040 Speaker 2: there's always there's always, you know, on the corners of things. 267 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:04,160 Speaker 2: There's always way that you can forget about your ethical principles. 268 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 2: And I'm very aware of it, and i try very 269 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,200 Speaker 2: hard to protect myself. And I'm also just like you're 270 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,199 Speaker 2: saying that you're worried, I'm worried too my own. I 271 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:20,679 Speaker 2: think about it a lot. I'm it's I mean, especially nowadays, 272 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 2: there's there's just such a sliding slope where like ethics 273 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 2: and morals are like so cheap. Now, wow. 274 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 1: Well, but the thing is success always in in the 275 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:41,160 Speaker 1: biz begets more opportunity. And I'm curious, you know, do 276 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:45,120 Speaker 1: you have ambitions beyond this show in the media space. 277 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 2: I don't have ambitions in the media space. I have 278 00:18:52,480 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 2: I have, you know, somewhat ambitious mcgallu Mannic hopes to 279 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 2: contribute something to making the world a better place. That's 280 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 2: my real ambition is to somehow add to the forces 281 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 2: that are going against this kind of doggy dog world 282 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 2: we're facing. You know, I have things that matter to 283 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 2: me that I want to use this whatever engine I'm 284 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,200 Speaker 2: getting behind me to contribute to things that matter. 285 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 1: So, you know, I could play Devil's advocate here and say, 286 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying. The media is the place 287 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,119 Speaker 1: to advance that cause. If you want to reach the 288 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:47,400 Speaker 1: most people, So do this other show or produce this 289 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 1: other thing. How does that strike you? 290 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 2: If it's something I don't know, if I can produce 291 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 2: a show that will somehow help people deal with their 292 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,880 Speaker 2: denial about climate or about what's going on, and or 293 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 2: I would do it. I'm open to doing things about 294 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 2: to participating in things that matter to me, and I 295 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 2: will I'm going to join an international peacemaking organization. I will, 296 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 2: and I want to, and I appreciate kind of having 297 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,920 Speaker 2: the opportunity to do that if I'm asked to join 298 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 2: in selling a product that doesn't help anyone, No. 299 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 1: Okay, but how do you think about the prospect of 300 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 1: what you do and the way you are doing it 301 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:45,399 Speaker 1: on TV being done elsewhere? I guess I asked the 302 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 1: question because often when I watch your show, which I love, 303 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,920 Speaker 1: I say, oh my god, I could watch this all day. 304 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,639 Speaker 1: This could be a whole network. Do you feel like 305 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,760 Speaker 1: there's an untapped appeal regardless of whether you're the one capitalizing. 306 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 2: I think people can benefit and want to see people 307 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 2: doing therapy. Yes, if it's good therapy. I think the more. 308 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 2: I don't know if the more the better, but more 309 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 2: would be better. I think it would be great for 310 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 2: people to watch a lot of this, to watch people thinking, 311 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 2: taking their time, thinking, analytically, listening to their unconscious, trying 312 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,640 Speaker 2: to listen to their partner in a way that is compassionate, 313 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,680 Speaker 2: in a way that is not about blaming or winning. Yeah, 314 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 2: I think it would be great if more of that 315 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,120 Speaker 2: was out there. 316 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 1: What's also been interesting and I don't know if you've 317 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:45,720 Speaker 1: seen this is the way your show has taken on 318 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: a second life in social media. I constantly see clips. 319 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: Are you aware of that? Do you have any I'm aware. 320 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 2: Of that because I go and sit at my regular 321 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,400 Speaker 2: cafe here and people come up to me and they 322 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 2: say to me, like, I love your social media, and 323 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't have social media. I'm aware that 324 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 2: there's like a lot out there. I'm not part of it, 325 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,199 Speaker 2: but yes, I'm aware that it's out there and that 326 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 2: that's where a lot of people live. 327 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, perhaps even more so than Showtime or Paramount Plus itself. 328 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: But it's also like you kind of have less control 329 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 1: over that. So I was curious, is it a double 330 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,720 Speaker 1: edged sword where it's like, Okay, there's more exposure, great, 331 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,400 Speaker 1: but less control. 332 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,439 Speaker 2: I don't actually know what to do with that. Do 333 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 2: you have any suggestions? 334 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,400 Speaker 1: Well, it would start, and I'm not advocating you get 335 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,400 Speaker 1: an official account because that does not sound like your 336 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,440 Speaker 1: cup of tea, And to some degree, I don't think 337 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 1: you can control it. I mean, I've seen I tet 338 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,120 Speaker 1: to disturb you at this, but like I've seen your 339 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:02,600 Speaker 1: voice get taken and trained with AI so that it 340 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,400 Speaker 1: looks like there are accounts run by you. I mean, 341 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 1: that's got to be disturbing, though frankly it's not particularly 342 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 1: well done, so I don't know who would fall for this. 343 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:17,160 Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, that's that's. 344 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: A lot, I know. On a less dark note, I 345 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: I don't know if you've seen there. You have imitators 346 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:30,359 Speaker 1: meaning impressionists who people have sent me funny memes. 347 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 2: Yes, I love the humor. I mean the more humor 348 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,879 Speaker 2: the better. Yeah, that's right. 349 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: I will shout out a gentleman on tik toktalk named 350 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:44,919 Speaker 1: Miguel Luciano who does a flawless and flattering imitation of you. 351 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,320 Speaker 1: And I was just curious if you had seen it, 352 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,359 Speaker 1: and do you Are you disturbed by that or flattered? 353 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,400 Speaker 2: Or I love humor, even. 354 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 1: If it's at your expense totally? What's the ill Luciano, 355 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 1: Miguel Luciano, Okay, I want to reward good work by 356 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: publicizing it, and I think you will not be disturbed 357 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 1: by it. 358 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 2: No, I love humor and humor at my expense. Please 359 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 2: bring it on. I'm all for that. 360 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,919 Speaker 1: Well, but it's interesting to hear that I think you 361 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 1: know a sense of humor isn't necessarily something you get 362 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 1: to show off in a psychotherapy setting. And my guess is, 363 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 1: and tell me if I'm wrong. Producers are probably pushed like, hey, 364 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 1: we want to see more of you outside the office 365 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 1: on the show, open up your private life. You get 366 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 1: those pressures. How do you feel about that? 367 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 2: I originally when we started making the show, the director's 368 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 2: Josh and Elise and Eli, they were like, well why not? 369 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 2: And I kept explaining I would I remember like I 370 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:55,760 Speaker 2: would read them passages from LACAN to explain why it's 371 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 2: very important to maintain a certain wall of privacy. It's 372 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 2: why it's important for the trans it's important for the process. 373 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 2: It's not and I'm also private, but I also really 374 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 2: believe that the show will do better if it's not 375 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 2: about my private life. That it's not kind of cheap 376 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 2: idolization of the therapist. But it's the emphasis on the process, 377 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 2: not on the person. And they realize as we continued 378 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,119 Speaker 2: making the show, they realize that it's true that people 379 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:34,440 Speaker 2: don't need personal information about me. They need a way 380 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:38,679 Speaker 2: of thinking. They need the insights I mean, not the nonsense. 381 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: Got it? And do you correct me if I'm wrong? 382 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 1: You still maintain an actual, real life practice. 383 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,879 Speaker 2: Yes, that is my real life. I still that's what 384 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 2: matters to me the most, my patience, and that's never 385 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 2: going to change. 386 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,920 Speaker 1: But I can't imagine, and again, correct me if I'm 387 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: wrong that your media presence doesn't somehow impact the real life. 388 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: It must your real patients must see this, and who 389 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 1: knows how that impacts the process. 390 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, First of all, not all of my real patients 391 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,960 Speaker 2: see Some choose not to watch. They just know about it. 392 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 2: And Okay, I've said this in other interviews that I 393 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,880 Speaker 2: feel like my real patients are actually the ones that 394 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 2: carry the most burden of this show because they didn't 395 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 2: necessarily ask for it. They didn't, I didn't. They didn't 396 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 2: start working with me knowing that I'm a public figure 397 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,360 Speaker 2: that I'm going to be and suddenly, you know, their 398 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:49,639 Speaker 2: mother can see their therapist on TV. It's not necessarily great, 399 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 2: and so I think it's not great for my private 400 00:26:54,800 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 2: practice patients. But that's the price, and I think they 401 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,120 Speaker 2: realize that I'm I think a lot of people were 402 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 2: worried that it's going to become my primary preoccupation, that 403 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,040 Speaker 2: I'm not going to care anymore about my practice. But 404 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 2: it's not true. I love my practice. It's really where 405 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,240 Speaker 2: my true self lives. 406 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 1: It's okay, So yeah, I mean there must be quite 407 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:28,240 Speaker 1: a balancing act between academia, the show, the real practice. 408 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 1: Who know, And of course you know you have a 409 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:36,200 Speaker 1: private life. Do you foresee a time where the show, 410 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 1: because of all these other demands, has to go? I mean, 411 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 1: or you're not even looking ahead at this point. 412 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 2: I don't know. Also, you know, with the way the 413 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 2: networks are now operating, who knows, like how long this 414 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:50,800 Speaker 2: go on. 415 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 1: It's not up to you necessarily, definitely. 416 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 2: Not only up to me. But I'm sure at some point, 417 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 2: but either we will stop making it or somebody else 418 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,359 Speaker 2: will replace me. I mean, I'm not going to keep 419 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 2: doing this forever. I'm not. I'm not a young person. 420 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:14,120 Speaker 1: So there could conceivably be a version of this show 421 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 1: that continues with a different therapist. Never thought about. 422 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 2: That, Yeah, I think that would be interesting. 423 00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: M m, certainly, although I would. I mean, we should 424 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 1: mention you're not the only therapist who appears on the show. 425 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:35,000 Speaker 1: Your advisor, Virginia Goldner, your colleagues are seen talking about that, 426 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,560 Speaker 1: and to me, it's almost as surprising, if not more 427 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,959 Speaker 1: so that you're on the show in the sense that 428 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:45,719 Speaker 1: so many from your typically private field are maybe not 429 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 1: opening up their own practices, but opening themselves up. I mean, 430 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 1: did that take arm twisting or. 431 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 2: I think for some of my friends, I mean it's 432 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 2: a lot of these are friends, colleagues that are in 433 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 2: my peer supervision group. These are all people that I anyway, 434 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 2: I have like really strong professional and personal bonds with 435 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 2: and I think early on people felt a little nervous 436 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 2: to participate, but they heard from me that it's there's 437 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 2: something that's really that feels very gratifying about doing this. 438 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 2: You really feel like you're doing a public service and 439 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 2: the you know, the team we work with make make 440 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 2: everything feel very natural and no one's pressuring you to 441 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 2: think in any one or other directions. So just feels 442 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:43,320 Speaker 2: like an extension of our regular life. People have just 443 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:44,920 Speaker 2: joined happily. 444 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 1: That's good to hear. Well, I'll bet I'm the very 445 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: first person to make this joke at the end of 446 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 1: an interview with you, But our time is up. Sweet, 447 00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 1: thank you or enough for your time, looking forward forward 448 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:04,360 Speaker 1: to the following season, and thanks for joining me on 449 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 1: Strictly Business. 450 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 2: Thank you Andrew, Thank you for these awesome questions. 451 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,080 Speaker 3: Thanks for listening, be sure to leave us a review 452 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 3: at Apple Podcasts or Amazon Music. We love to hear 453 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:22,040 Speaker 3: from listeners. Please go to Variety dot com and sign 454 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 3: up for the free weekly Strictly Business newsletter, and don't 455 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,640 Speaker 3: forget to tune in next week for another episode of 456 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:30,640 Speaker 3: Strictly Business