1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:15,320
Speaker 1: The nik Nikki. Yeah here I am. Hey, no uh going,

2
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:19,640
Speaker 1: Hey besties, everyone listening out there, Thursday show. Let's kick

3
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,119
Speaker 1: it off, Um between you and me, I'm coming in.

4
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,000
Speaker 1: Uh first all, I'm in a great mood, as I

5
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,920
Speaker 1: always am when I start this damp podcast. I'm sad

6
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,360
Speaker 1: that I have three days ahead of me where we

7
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,960
Speaker 1: won't be doing this. It's been a great week so far.

8
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,000
Speaker 1: I um, but I've got really not like nothing to report.

9
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,440
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of happy I have the day off today.

10
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,480
Speaker 1: Um from my show that I'm filming. We're getting ready

11
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,960
Speaker 1: to wrap on it. It's like, uh, well not ready.

12
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,919
Speaker 1: We have like a couple more episodes to tape, tape record.

13
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,279
Speaker 1: I don't know what they do anymore. And um, and

14
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,040
Speaker 1: then I might stick around the Cayman Islands for a

15
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:03,000
Speaker 1: week just to like hang out. And I mean, I'm

16
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,720
Speaker 1: already on vacation with this show. For me, hanging out

17
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,440
Speaker 1: is going to be hard. But today we're going to

18
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:12,520
Speaker 1: a really nice hotel with like a ton of the

19
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:18,039
Speaker 1: people from the crew, and uh, we're getting a cabana

20
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,880
Speaker 1: and we're gonna like hang out by the pool and um,

21
00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,840
Speaker 1: just hang and it'll be fun. It's an hour away, though,

22
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,399
Speaker 1: it's like a long drive, and part of me just

23
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,119
Speaker 1: wants to like be in battle day catch up on sleep.

24
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:34,600
Speaker 1: But I can't sleep. I'm just too excited about my life.

25
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,520
Speaker 1: I But Andrew said the other day, he was like,

26
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,560
Speaker 1: that's good, you know, because you used to be so

27
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,200
Speaker 1: I used to hear you be so depressed that you

28
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,960
Speaker 1: just wanted to sleep to escape your life. And now

29
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,119
Speaker 1: you don't want to sleep because you sleep isn't better

30
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:50,040
Speaker 1: than life. Uh, And that's a good feeling to have.

31
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:55,360
Speaker 1: But I'm sleep deprived, there's no question about it. But

32
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:59,520
Speaker 1: do you ever get so like, you know you're sleep deprived,

33
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,760
Speaker 1: but because you can just add up your hours and

34
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,440
Speaker 1: you can't even do the math because you're so tired.

35
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,120
Speaker 1: But um, you just know you're not getting enough hours,

36
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,519
Speaker 1: but you're just not also not tired. I've never really

37
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:14,440
Speaker 1: had that. Okay, I do know that point. I call

38
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,040
Speaker 1: it like the point of delirium where it's like I'm

39
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,960
Speaker 1: just so crazy but like hyper. But it's definitely not

40
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,720
Speaker 1: good for my brain. Yes, it's like your yeah, well,

41
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,720
Speaker 1: I mean sleep deprivation like makes you like drunk and

42
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:31,160
Speaker 1: then yeah, I just don't my biggest fear and like

43
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,600
Speaker 1: my biggest stressor is not getting enough sleep. Like if

44
00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:35,959
Speaker 1: I see that in my future, you know that as

45
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,480
Speaker 1: working with me for a while. Like if I look

46
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,920
Speaker 1: at my week and I go like when am I

47
00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,520
Speaker 1: gonna nap? When am I going to sleep? I start

48
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,600
Speaker 1: to like panic. But I don't know, I just don't.

49
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm just like so jazzed and like amped about uh life.

50
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,720
Speaker 1: Right now, I'm pretty happy, um, which is a weird feeling,

51
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,720
Speaker 1: but um, I don't know. We were just talking off

52
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:04,040
Speaker 1: air about resentments, and I've got quite a few a

53
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:11,640
Speaker 1: ruin just like where you just art what Like For me,

54
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,919
Speaker 1: resentment is like a kind of newish word because I'm

55
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,720
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I hate that person or I'm mad

56
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:24,000
Speaker 1: at that person. But resentment is interesting because it's all you, like,

57
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,680
Speaker 1: it doesn't really have anything to do with that person,

58
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,760
Speaker 1: and it's just it's interesting to learn so late in

59
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:35,080
Speaker 1: life that when you're mad at someone, it's not anything

60
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:39,119
Speaker 1: that they literally they have no part in it. It's

61
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,760
Speaker 1: just you, and like it's really hard to grasp that.

62
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:47,640
Speaker 1: But it's always the case. I mean literally, Oh, I

63
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,600
Speaker 1: mean maybe if you like someone murders your dog or

64
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,360
Speaker 1: something and you resent them. Maybe that's not your fault.

65
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,520
Speaker 1: Well it is because you could you could let it go.

66
00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,520
Speaker 1: I guess it takes a strong person. No, what do

67
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,960
Speaker 1: you what are your the resentments you you carry? Uh?

68
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,800
Speaker 1: I guess a lot of them is just like stuff

69
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,640
Speaker 1: I have to deal with in my relationship where I

70
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,800
Speaker 1: know that it's a narrative that I created in my

71
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,000
Speaker 1: head in the story. But it's just so much easier

72
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,680
Speaker 1: to have to carry around of resentment and just blame

73
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,279
Speaker 1: it on somebody else, like what's the story? And you

74
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:27,280
Speaker 1: tell yourself. Uh, that is a definitely a hard question

75
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,920
Speaker 1: to put me on the spot Withay. No, but like

76
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,920
Speaker 1: I get, like, you go, oh, this person to the thing.

77
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,640
Speaker 1: They don't care about me. They don't care. Yes, that's

78
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:42,680
Speaker 1: as Yes, I have separation anxiety and like a beagle,

79
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,360
Speaker 1: you know, I just have like dog problems and it's

80
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,400
Speaker 1: all on me and things that I have to work

81
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,680
Speaker 1: on on myself. But I hate resentment. I wish I

82
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,000
Speaker 1: could just kind of get a lobotomy or something, just

83
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,720
Speaker 1: take out the part of my brain that feels them,

84
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,720
Speaker 1: because I know it and it just and the thing is,

85
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:04,040
Speaker 1: I've been trying so hard to voice my resentments as

86
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,840
Speaker 1: soon as they come up, so that because so often

87
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,120
Speaker 1: they're not what I perceive them to be. The story

88
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:14,280
Speaker 1: I'm telling myself is not even like the person isn't

89
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,200
Speaker 1: meaning to make me feel that way, even though no

90
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,360
Speaker 1: one can make you feel anyway, I'm tired of people

91
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:24,360
Speaker 1: saying made me feel but you know, even like as

92
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,360
Speaker 1: simple as I mean, we talked about this the other day.

93
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,400
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was on one of the

94
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,919
Speaker 1: Lost episodes that didn't record, but like when someone's driving

95
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,480
Speaker 1: in front of you and they're going slow or they're

96
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:37,560
Speaker 1: tailgating you, like it doesn't matter really. I mean, I

97
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,960
Speaker 1: guess it's causing you a little anxiety because you could

98
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,880
Speaker 1: stop short and then they could slam into you, but

99
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,440
Speaker 1: so it could harm you. But I mean someone driving

100
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,840
Speaker 1: slow or someone just I watched Andrew gets so much

101
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:55,000
Speaker 1: road rage, not rage, but like road adjita, and I

102
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:59,080
Speaker 1: always just want to be like it's like, it's not

103
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:03,159
Speaker 1: this doesn't the this isn't going to change your life

104
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,520
Speaker 1: in any way like you want to just it's but

105
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,560
Speaker 1: it's all resentments of like this person you're telling a

106
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:13,720
Speaker 1: story like this person is stupid, they're slow, they are selfish,

107
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:18,200
Speaker 1: they are dumb, and it's like maybe they are going

108
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,479
Speaker 1: the speed limit or maybe they're going maybe they're high,

109
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,479
Speaker 1: they're going under it, and then you're like, why are

110
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,039
Speaker 1: they driving high? And you're like, well, maybe they are struggling,

111
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:31,159
Speaker 1: just don't know what's going on in their world. You

112
00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:35,160
Speaker 1: gave me the best advice, yet, unfortunately it is on

113
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,240
Speaker 1: the Lost episode you and Andrew had a heart to

114
00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:41,320
Speaker 1: heart conversation and I asked you, how do you start

115
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,280
Speaker 1: that hard to hard conversation because I only know how

116
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,440
Speaker 1: to start it after a big blowout after an argument,

117
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,839
Speaker 1: and I just want to be able to start it

118
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,120
Speaker 1: without that, And you gave me the best advice. Um,

119
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:57,720
Speaker 1: I think, I said. Couch started with compliments of like

120
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:03,760
Speaker 1: because when Andrew and I were, um, I guess no,

121
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,239
Speaker 1: I was. I I was brought up something to someone

122
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 1: recently that they were like hurting my feelings by something

123
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,040
Speaker 1: they were doing, or I felt my feelings were hurt

124
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:17,560
Speaker 1: because the way I interpreted someone's actions and I wanted

125
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,119
Speaker 1: to like explain it to them, and I just realized, Oh,

126
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,760
Speaker 1: the reason that this hurts me is not because you're

127
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,680
Speaker 1: doing it. It's because the way you treat me otherwise

128
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:32,080
Speaker 1: is so amazing that when you do these little things,

129
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,680
Speaker 1: it makes it so much worse because it's so the

130
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,520
Speaker 1: opposite of what I go to you for. So I

131
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,400
Speaker 1: couched it as like, you make me feel so good

132
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,480
Speaker 1: all the time, and that's why I'm wanting That's why

133
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:48,000
Speaker 1: I like being around you, like having you around me.

134
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,480
Speaker 1: That's why I want to be close to you, because

135
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:54,080
Speaker 1: you always build me up and make me feel amazing

136
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,840
Speaker 1: and cool and beautiful and funny and all these things.

137
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:01,080
Speaker 1: So when you do a little light it just stings

138
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,600
Speaker 1: so much more than if you were just like, uh,

139
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 1: just any other person. It's like, because you're so great,

140
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,720
Speaker 1: I am more sensitive to the smallest light and that's

141
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,840
Speaker 1: a problem I'm working on. But I just want to

142
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,040
Speaker 1: let you know, like, how fucking good do you make

143
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,840
Speaker 1: me feeling. I wouldn't even bring this up unless you

144
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,240
Speaker 1: did make me feel so good. And the person was like,

145
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:22,600
Speaker 1: I feel like you're just like kind of bullshitting me

146
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,040
Speaker 1: right now, and I was like, I'm not, like, this

147
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,920
Speaker 1: isn't me trying to make it palatable for you. This

148
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,080
Speaker 1: is me actually processing why the funk this is annoying

149
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,880
Speaker 1: me so much that you did this little thing because

150
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:39,640
Speaker 1: I feel ridiculous being so hurt by this seemingly innocuous slight,

151
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,640
Speaker 1: and it was it was sincere. I was like, that's

152
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,600
Speaker 1: why it bothers me, And like if if a random

153
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,840
Speaker 1: person to this to me, it wouldn't bother me. But

154
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,200
Speaker 1: it's like I rely on you. It's like, you know,

155
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,679
Speaker 1: when you're your shower has cold water, Your shower that

156
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,440
Speaker 1: you trust to have warm water all the time suddenly

157
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,880
Speaker 1: has cold water, you like freak out. If you're at

158
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,760
Speaker 1: a hotel and it had cold water, you just like

159
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,559
Speaker 1: go like, oh, this is just a cold shower, and

160
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,680
Speaker 1: I won't I'm gonna change rooms. You don't like yell

161
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,040
Speaker 1: at the shower and try to fix it. You're just like,

162
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,120
Speaker 1: this is the way it is. I'm not gonna be

163
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,120
Speaker 1: around the shower anymore. But suddenly this warm shower spitting

164
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,720
Speaker 1: out fucking coldness. It's it's it's worse because no, I

165
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:22,079
Speaker 1: trust the shower. It's my shower. So that was my advice. Yeah,

166
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:26,840
Speaker 1: definitely leading with a compliment and um using positive reinforcement,

167
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:33,680
Speaker 1: praising the the action that I liked is just it's

168
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,520
Speaker 1: so hard for me to do it just like out

169
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,600
Speaker 1: of the blue. But um, I want to say thank

170
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,840
Speaker 1: you because I did it last night and it definitely

171
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,840
Speaker 1: helped me, So thank you. Yeah, you were saying like

172
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,360
Speaker 1: you have lots dogs, like if you associate like the

173
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 1: when you make up with someone after a fight. If

174
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,360
Speaker 1: you're starting with a fight and you get like the

175
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,880
Speaker 1: makeup sex or the kiss or the niceness afterwards, you

176
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:02,000
Speaker 1: start to associal the eight the the warm feeling of

177
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:08,160
Speaker 1: those that affection with the tu molts that has preceded it.

178
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,200
Speaker 1: And so if you start with good, get into the

179
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,839
Speaker 1: bad end with the good, it might not be you

180
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:22,000
Speaker 1: might not start salvating when uh you say, can we talk? Um?

181
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,280
Speaker 1: All right, let's get Andrew in here process more of

182
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,080
Speaker 1: our feelings, get into the news. Lots to talk about today.

183
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,960
Speaker 1: It's the last show of the week, Week three. We're

184
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:34,640
Speaker 1: going out strong. Make sure you follow us on Instagram,

185
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,360
Speaker 1: Nikki Glazer Pod. Lots of original content on there. I

186
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,560
Speaker 1: think we're gonna videotape one of the segments stay so

187
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,439
Speaker 1: you can see us in action doing it. We'll put

188
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,120
Speaker 1: it up on there. It's private account, so we have

189
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,880
Speaker 1: to you know, approve you, but we want you there

190
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,000
Speaker 1: so if you're listening right now. Go um follow us

191
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,440
Speaker 1: on Instagram Nikki Glazer Pod and uh we'll get in

192
00:10:52,480 --> 00:11:00,760
Speaker 1: Andrew in here right after this. Alrighty Andrew, welcome to

193
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,880
Speaker 1: the show, Buddy, How to Sleep last night? Well? I

194
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:10,120
Speaker 1: slept in my bed, not the couch. Uh, you were gone? Wait?

195
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:15,800
Speaker 1: I hold on, wait can I say that I was gone? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah,

196
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,560
Speaker 1: so you were gone. So I got to do the

197
00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:20,200
Speaker 1: thermostatic what I like, which is about forty five degrees

198
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:24,680
Speaker 1: hotter than what you like. You're a eskimo in a

199
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:29,800
Speaker 1: ice luge who has a cold heart, and I am

200
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:34,199
Speaker 1: a hot boy in New Orleans with juvenile So if

201
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,880
Speaker 1: you're a hot sleeper, what the hell is wrong with you?

202
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:41,880
Speaker 1: Just like people who bundle up in flannel pajamas and

203
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,160
Speaker 1: then they like get in Like, I've never just a

204
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:48,719
Speaker 1: flannel pajamas, flannel sheets. I sweat so goddamn much when

205
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:54,160
Speaker 1: I sleep. I don't know. My body like regulates itself

206
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,640
Speaker 1: and it's made to be like it's efficient and it

207
00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,480
Speaker 1: knows that like I might be sleeping outside sometimes because

208
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,679
Speaker 1: I'm a human being that's meant to be sleeping outside.

209
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:09,240
Speaker 1: Homo sapiens, what up and yeah, I don't need to like,

210
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,439
Speaker 1: I don't need to like, I'm not like this little

211
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:19,280
Speaker 1: like tiny shivering baby bird that needs to be like sucking.

212
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,160
Speaker 1: I just wonder what happens at night that makes your

213
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. My body relaxes and it just gets

214
00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,560
Speaker 1: hot and the like and I bundle and I feel

215
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,840
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just like, is it tough? Though?

216
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,840
Speaker 1: Like when you're dating someone or something and you sweat

217
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,880
Speaker 1: so much, are you insecure about it at all? Oh?

218
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,520
Speaker 1: My god, I'm not insecure about literally anything anymore. And

219
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,679
Speaker 1: even even my old sweat problems when I used to

220
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:45,120
Speaker 1: be more insecure, um, we're not. They were funny. My

221
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,440
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend used to call me sweaty Betty. I used

222
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,679
Speaker 1: to say, what the bed? I mean? It was more like,

223
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,920
Speaker 1: oh babe, what is going on? It was just like

224
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'd wake up just like a fucking puddle,

225
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,040
Speaker 1: and um, my clothing used to go flap on the

226
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,920
Speaker 1: cloth and then you know, as maybe a side effective zoloft.

227
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,400
Speaker 1: But I don't really get that sweaty when I sleep anymore. Um.

228
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,280
Speaker 1: It used to happen even if the room was cold

229
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:11,439
Speaker 1: and stuff, so um, I don't really know. But no,

230
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,840
Speaker 1: I I'm literally like not insecure about um anything, Like

231
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,600
Speaker 1: I fart in front of you now, I mean that

232
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:21,000
Speaker 1: is like that's not just like you, that's like pretty

233
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,440
Speaker 1: much anyone ill fart in front of Like I don't care.

234
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,199
Speaker 1: Like I used to be so embarrassed about farts, like

235
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,679
Speaker 1: if someone heard me fart, Like now I can talk

236
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,000
Speaker 1: about the fact like I don't know what happened. I

237
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:34,640
Speaker 1: just don't care. I love when I look over and

238
00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:38,200
Speaker 1: I see that look on your face of just it's

239
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,640
Speaker 1: like I don't know a fart face. You're not smiling,

240
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,560
Speaker 1: You're also you're just there's there's something so peaceful about

241
00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:48,160
Speaker 1: a fart face, and you spread your cheeks. You're right

242
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,360
Speaker 1: because last night you were on No usually I don't

243
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,040
Speaker 1: hide the sound him around you. The last night you

244
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,600
Speaker 1: were on Instagram Live and I wanted I had a

245
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,880
Speaker 1: pretty decent one. And and I'm like on my period

246
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,240
Speaker 1: kind of it's like a phantom period, like I'm having

247
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,320
Speaker 1: every symptom, but I only bled for one day. It's

248
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,880
Speaker 1: really strange. But um, you know, you get kind of

249
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,400
Speaker 1: Gussie when you're on your period. Right, Noah, am I

250
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:15,200
Speaker 1: alone here? Oh? I guess I am. No, you're not alone.

251
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,200
Speaker 1: She was muted because she was on her period too.

252
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:21,040
Speaker 1: We've sinked up even on Zoo. Actually, no, I'm supposed

253
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 1: to get my period like tomorrow was slowly sinking back up. Okay,

254
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,800
Speaker 1: mine might start up again, who knows. But yeah, I

255
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,880
Speaker 1: let one out last night when Andrew was on the

256
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,640
Speaker 1: Instagram live and I yeah, I spread my cheeks so

257
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,720
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be a sound. But I really was only

258
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,920
Speaker 1: doing that because I didn't want to distract from the

259
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:42,240
Speaker 1: riveting show you were providing. Your sixty nine viewers say

260
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,200
Speaker 1: that it was very late at also, you were in

261
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,640
Speaker 1: the You assumed that I was going to say that

262
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:53,680
Speaker 1: I was gonna say it's very late at night. I

263
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:57,200
Speaker 1: hate when you're right about what I predict because then

264
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 1: I have no rebuttal other than to say, wow, you

265
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,320
Speaker 1: finished my sentence perfectly, exactly like I would have, maybe

266
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,200
Speaker 1: better than I would have, because you know more words

267
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 1: than me. But have you farted um in front of

268
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:14,280
Speaker 1: a guy? You fuck? Um? No, I haven't tried that yet,

269
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:19,400
Speaker 1: but because I haven't sucked a new person, or if

270
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:23,240
Speaker 1: I fool around with someone, um, I would I would

271
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,680
Speaker 1: fart in front of um. Like, if I'm considering the

272
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,840
Speaker 1: people that I would consider fooling around with, yes, I

273
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,760
Speaker 1: would fart in front of them. I would. There are

274
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,200
Speaker 1: maybe ones that I wanted. I don't want to. I

275
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,680
Speaker 1: don't want to be like, oh, this is uh fun thing,

276
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,000
Speaker 1: But if I did it, I wouldn't be horrified And like,

277
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,120
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna like try everything in my life to

278
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,480
Speaker 1: never have them hear me fart like I used to.

279
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,040
Speaker 1: I do feel like there's a way to ease into it,

280
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,240
Speaker 1: Like as you know, as a guy, I just feel like,

281
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,160
Speaker 1: if you farted, let's say, um, you know, in the

282
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 1: car about five hours before we're gonna fuck, I wouldn't

283
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,520
Speaker 1: even think twice about it. But if we were in

284
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 1: bed and we're about to apate, Yeah, And I'm not

285
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,360
Speaker 1: going to try to fart around something Like I do

286
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,040
Speaker 1: want to keep things sexy, and I do think it's

287
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,480
Speaker 1: important to like not be like, may be too browy

288
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 1: around guys that you're attracted to. But I, um, I

289
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 1: don't feel like they want you to fart in my mouth.

290
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 1: Would that turn you on or turn you off? Um? Listen,

291
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,560
Speaker 1: I'm into some things that not everyone's into. If a

292
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,880
Speaker 1: guy I really loved was into me farting in his mouth,

293
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 1: Like I would feel like that there's something going like

294
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:33,160
Speaker 1: it's weird, but I wouldn't judge it, honestly, that's the dope, dude.

295
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 1: I wouldn't like really want to be the ship in

296
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,560
Speaker 1: their mouth. That's just a mess, and I don't want

297
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,840
Speaker 1: to sell my own ship. But if a guy like

298
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:45,800
Speaker 1: like between that and the sweat, well my um. Someone

299
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,760
Speaker 1: asked me the other day, like casually, like, would you

300
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,320
Speaker 1: if like a guy wanted to pee on you, would

301
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 1: you be into that? I was like, in the shower, sure,

302
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,080
Speaker 1: if a guy wanted me to be on them, sure?

303
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:59,080
Speaker 1: What about at a funeral? What? No, I'm just saying,

304
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 1: like the most absurd time a guy with like it's yeah,

305
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,119
Speaker 1: it's all appropriate. It's all like because I'd be wearing

306
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 1: black and if I got piano, wouldn't you know? That's

307
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,280
Speaker 1: a good point saying. But I'm I'm into like experimenting,

308
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,160
Speaker 1: Like I'm into some kinky stuff that not everyone is into.

309
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:19,800
Speaker 1: Like my sexual proclivities will not overlap perfectly with anyone,

310
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,680
Speaker 1: so that means I'm going to be introducing someone down

311
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,000
Speaker 1: the line to something that they might not be aroused

312
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,560
Speaker 1: by themselves, and therefore I probably will have to do

313
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,679
Speaker 1: some things that I don't really want to do. You

314
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 1: think women are are act don't want to do, but

315
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,560
Speaker 1: you think women act um more crazy because they're holding

316
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,880
Speaker 1: in so much gas and that if they were able

317
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 1: to fart, they want to yell about you not doing

318
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 1: the dishes. I was going to say on Conan the

319
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:52,679
Speaker 1: other day that men's emotions, men's like intense feelings, are

320
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,159
Speaker 1: like women's farts. You just hold them in until you

321
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,720
Speaker 1: can't any until it's so painful that you just let

322
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 1: it out at a time that's not you're not ready

323
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,360
Speaker 1: to and then it comes out of nowhere, and it's

324
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,360
Speaker 1: so it just ruins the mood and it you really

325
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 1: can't go back from it, because like if you fart

326
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 1: as a woman and it comes out and you've never

327
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,760
Speaker 1: farted before in your life, when it comes out, you're

328
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 1: going to be embarrassed. It's going to be at a

329
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:21,240
Speaker 1: weird time. It's gonna be like a sound that you

330
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,720
Speaker 1: didn't mean to make. And when you're a man and

331
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,480
Speaker 1: you're hiding in like emotions about the way you're dad

332
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 1: didn't let you, you know, far in front of them. Yeah, yeah,

333
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like it's gonna come out as

334
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 1: a burst of anger. That's I feel like guys like

335
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,199
Speaker 1: they'll do like a Dutch Oven to their girlfriend and

336
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,119
Speaker 1: then not expecting the fart. Like the difference between a

337
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 1: Dutch oven and no farts is wild. Like, I mean,

338
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,960
Speaker 1: i've Dutch oven girls before and it's they seem to

339
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,440
Speaker 1: really I mean, that is a cruel joke and prank.

340
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 1: I don't like when you fart around me and I

341
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 1: have to like smell it. But if you're across the

342
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,920
Speaker 1: room and fart, I think it's funny. Farts are so funny,

343
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:03,520
Speaker 1: the funniest things ever made. There they're they're the the

344
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 1: sound you can't a fart machine is even funny. Who

345
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,560
Speaker 1: remember Whoopie Cushion came out and you don't remember when

346
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 1: they came out, but like when they were they were around,

347
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 1: didn't come out. Cushion has been around. Sin's like two

348
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,920
Speaker 1: probably it's a balloon. It's one of the most basic

349
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 1: fucking games ever wiki it know, can we get a

350
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: research on when the far remember shout out to Kyle Duningan.

351
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,120
Speaker 1: He has a tesla and the only thing we liked

352
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 1: about the car was the far fart noises that you

353
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 1: can do in this in the car, you can like

354
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 1: make the person in the backseat sound like that that

355
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,639
Speaker 1: they farted. Yeah, he spent eighty grand to do specific parts.

356
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 1: It's so funny, it really is. I, um, yeah, how

357
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 1: did you sleep? By the way, we um, I slept great.

358
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I'm I'm I'm sleeping when I do sleep,

359
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:07,239
Speaker 1: sleeping hard sleep mask. Um, I'm you know. I had

360
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 1: a sleepover with some friends and brought my sleep masks

361
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 1: with me, and uh was like like that's the only

362
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 1: thing I brought. I was just like, I washed my face,

363
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 1: I brushed my teeth, and I was like, I'm going

364
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,679
Speaker 1: brought my phone to my sleep mask. That's all I

365
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 1: need out on the on the road. No toothbrush, No,

366
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 1: I already brush my teeth before I left. But you

367
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,879
Speaker 1: figure you're sleeping, they're gonna wake up in the morning

368
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 1: with rank breath. Now, Um, I don't mind. I just like,

369
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,679
Speaker 1: there's an explanation for that. It's like, oh, it's you know,

370
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 1: come in your mouth. Yeah, there's a old come Oh

371
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 1: my god, Andrew, Andrew, don't tell people my my midnight snack.

372
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 1: Do you think calm helps your teeth get whiter? Because

373
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 1: it's no, I do not. I don't. That's not a thing. Well,

374
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 1: you said there was come inside yours a line, so

375
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 1: wouldn't that help? I didn't say that. I'm just kidding.

376
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 1: We could take that out. I guess what did I say?

377
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 1: There was invisible? Said you gave a blowjob with the invisible.

378
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 1: I've done that before, and I do recommend it because

379
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 1: it makes your teeth very soft around the edges, and

380
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: you can you don't have to worry about scraping or

381
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 1: like biting a penis should bring that on? Sharks? Can

382
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 1: you pitch? That? Gave me real quick shark tank style? Yeah,

383
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: hi sharks? Are you wait? Hold on, hi sharks? Are

384
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 1: you worried about high sharks? Hold on, hi sharks. Do

385
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: you want to straighten your teeth while giving a pleasure

386
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 1: to your man that you're going to resent later because

387
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 1: he did nothing to you? Well, then I have the

388
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 1: perfect thing for you. It's called invisicom. It's actually wait,

389
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 1: it's called come a line. It's wait. Is that shark

390
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,199
Speaker 1: out there? WHOA? I think I just come along? I

391
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 1: literally think I just I'm seeing a shark in the

392
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: ocean really up your pitch? Well, I saw a real

393
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 1: shark at that one. I don't know. I think that

394
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 1: was Mr Beautiful, Mr Beiful. No, but really, if you haven't,

395
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 1: I think there should be mouthguards for women to give.

396
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: We talked about this yesterday. Yeah, Like, if women are

397
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: always so worried about their teeth when they give a

398
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 1: blow job, and they have to do this like Grandpa pace,

399
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 1: or like oh how and you look like an old

400
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 1: toothless turtle. Would really you could just wear a mouth

401
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: guard or in visi line and just go to town

402
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 1: and smile the whole way through and straight near teeth.

403
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 1: I think the invisible line should come with a vibrating feature.

404
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: That's what we were talking about, and a like thing

405
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 1: like pop Rocks. Oh wait, wouldn't that hurts? It's fun.

406
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 1: I've had a girl blow me one time. Yeah, I

407
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: want to try that. I love Candy Rocks boy, and

408
00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 1: I popped. Oh my god, that's so that's so fun. Wait,

409
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 1: who did that to you? This was years ago. This

410
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: is who were big when pop Box first came out

411
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,479
Speaker 1: with the Whoopee cushion back in three when you were

412
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: a young Todd running around the slums of Brooklyn, like

413
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,119
Speaker 1: the whoopee cushion coming out when you go when it

414
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 1: came out? You think when things just waffed into your

415
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: field of vision is when they come out. Let's see

416
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: came out. I'm guessing the sixties. When were they popularized? Though?

417
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: When did it get popular usage? Oh if the victim

418
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 1: happens to be sit sit on the opening, blocking the

419
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 1: air flow, it can rupture the cushion instead. For this reason,

420
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 1: some pranksters blissed the cushions of the opening extends towards

421
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 1: the front of the chair, which is less likely to

422
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: be set on. However, this can make the cushion more conspicuous.

423
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 1: Oh my god, people on Wikipedia are coming out. Oh

424
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 1: my god, that's really very good, Harry, you like go

425
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:08,919
Speaker 1: underwater around everyone. Come look at the new blue job

426
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 1: mouth guard. Come alone, Come alone on the ride with us.

427
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 1: Your teeth will be white and your dick will be

428
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 1: hard to come. A line will take care of everything.

429
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: How are you next? Thanks? Compliments to get to the

430
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: news first. Did not get to the news desk in time? Yeah,

431
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,959
Speaker 1: I was in the bathroom. I apologize. I was taking

432
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 1: a dusky Uh, that's where poop comes out of my back. No,

433
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 1: what is going on in this episode? I don't know.

434
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 1: We're having fun. It's Thursday, you know, Fridays always are funnest.

435
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 1: I know we're having fun, but what about the listener. Yeah,

436
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: I guaranteed that our best friends out there are having

437
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: a fun time out there and they're having all the swells. Wait,

438
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: do you hope that they are or do you guarantee?

439
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm almost gonna start guaranteeing, but I just hope for now.

440
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: But in two months or so, I'm gonna throw out

441
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 1: some guarantees. I'm just letting you know. Stay ready. Oh boy,

442
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: you're gonna love this headline. Nick, I hope you're sitting down.

443
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 1: I am all right. We're sitting right next to me.

444
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 1: He could definitely see that. Yeah, I see you're sitting

445
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 1: there all right. Home inspector got on nanny cam pleasuring

446
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 1: himself with an Elmo doll. Faces charges home inspector. So yeah.

447
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 1: A homeowner hired a fifty nine year old Kevin van

448
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 1: Luven shout out to inspect property. A nursery camera detected

449
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 1: movement in the nursery. So the twenty two year old homeowner, Wow,

450
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 1: humble Bragg checked her phone and caught Van Luvin in

451
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: the act. After he finished pleasuring himself, he returned the

452
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: doll to its original place. One question, Van Leuven said,

453
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 1: he moved the doll to check an electrical outlet. These

454
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: does this a tickle me Elmo? Was it like the vibrating,

455
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 1: like the laughing tickle me Elmo? I mean, if that's

456
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,159
Speaker 1: what Elmo is into, I think it would choke me Elmo.

457
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 1: Is this guy? What the Oh wait, there's a video

458
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 1: of it? Do we have a video? He's wearing a mask.

459
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 1: At least he's Oh my god, he literally just is

460
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: carrying this Elmo. The Elmo looks like a victim. It

461
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,159
Speaker 1: looks like he's holding Elmo by the neck. Yeah, it

462
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: really does look sexual. You guys, he is trapesing across

463
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: a nursery with an Elmo. He looks so terrifying. At

464
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: least he has his mask on. Oh man, it is funny.

465
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,199
Speaker 1: Look how empty that room is, like the electrical outlet,

466
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: Like he's saying, like Elmo was in the way, so

467
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 1: I had to do we have like the footage of

468
00:26:56,119 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: the jerking off? No, but have you ever do off

469
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: on the job? Um? No? No, no, no, I had

470
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 1: had sex at work, Yes, yes, a lot. What do

471
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 1: you mean? What do you mean? Yeah? I used to

472
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 1: um my ex boyfriend I got together before people on

473
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: our show New and he used to like we used

474
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 1: to just used to like bang me in my office

475
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 1: like behind like we're like very I mean, people could

476
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: have seen it. It It was so used to like sneak

477
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 1: into like he used to do this whole building because

478
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 1: he worked in there for years and years and I

479
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 1: was like kind of new to this building. And he

480
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: used to like be like meet me on the seventeenth

481
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,400
Speaker 1: floor and I just take a like elevator out. He's

482
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: like third door in the right and I would just

483
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: like walk in and it would be this like dark

484
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: edit bay that like no one would be in that

485
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: he would like have access to, and we'd go in there.

486
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: I remember one time I came in. I was wearing

487
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: my robe that like we had these robes that would

488
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 1: go over our wardrobe so that we would get stains

489
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 1: on them while we waited, and I was wearing nothing underneath.

490
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 1: And he didn't know that because he had just seen me.

491
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 1: But I was like I'll surprise him, and I just

492
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 1: remember that's the best thing when you like do something

493
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: hot and guys like what the fun, like their their

494
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 1: minds are kind of blown. That's like my favorite guy

495
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: reaction is like, I can't believe that you just did that,

496
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,199
Speaker 1: like being in awe of me. And that's all the

497
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: porn I watched too was like men being like proud

498
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: of Like what a horror you are? Man. That story

499
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,679
Speaker 1: reminds me of when I would walk dogs and go

500
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 1: in people's bathroom and jerk off and then mine. You

501
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: don't want to say that on air, Andrew, He's never

502
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: going back to that life. You can throw it out

503
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 1: the past. Wait, you you definitely jerked off at my

504
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: apartment when I would smell your pillow. Oh god, No,

505
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: I wouldn't smell your pillow there was too much sweat

506
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 1: on it. But no, I would masturbate in the bathroom,

507
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: never on an Elm a doll. I would always keep

508
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: it PC and uh I would come and I'd be like, whoa,

509
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 1: he did it again. I'd always be surprised, And that

510
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 1: was my favorite reaction to myself. I mean, that's that

511
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: that you guys got to go look at that Elmo

512
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: doll picture. I mean, it's kind of disturbing it. That

513
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: guy is definitely like he's I mean, why Elmo? I

514
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: mean I think that was the only doll in there.

515
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: I think Cookie Monster, I'd rather be These guys are

516
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: doing it because of Elmo. I mean, he'd gobble it

517
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,239
Speaker 1: up and make a mess. You Cookie Monster have so

518
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: much in common. I just realized, I feel like you

519
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: eat the same, and you're like the same, like happiness, Um,

520
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: if you, if you, oh my god, he would be

521
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: the best at eating. But like that guy, for what

522
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: it's worth, I will just say that, um, the Elmo guy,

523
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: this was not a nice lad incident he enjoyed. Is

524
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: the idea of there's there's a pedophilic nature to this

525
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: in a nursery. I mean, let's just be glad it

526
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: was just a doll and there's cameras everywhere. Folks have

527
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 1: to be like, he's a sexual predator, not because he

528
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: did it like in a nurse. I wonder who knows

529
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 1: next story. We'll find out, probably in a month when

530
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: he's back in the news. Esther Peril breaks down relationships

531
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: in the Pandemics. Essentially, wait, please, Andrew, just honor her

532
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: by not saying, yeah, I mean, she's a no, and

533
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 1: I love her books, Writing in Captivity and the other

534
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: like affairs. In that case, ether says that the crisis

535
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 1: of the pandemic acted as an accelerator in relationships, urging

536
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: people to move in together, have kids, get married, but

537
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: can also make them ask the question if life is short,

538
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this for another twenty years. Yes, Rituals

539
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: ease us through transitions. Rituals are routines. Say rituals like you, like,

540
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 1: we don't know what you're reading, Like you have to read,

541
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: like we're not reading along with you, you know what

542
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 1: I mean? Like I feel like you read like we're

543
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: also on the page. So when you say rituals, we

544
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: can just know it's rituals because we're reading, but we're not,

545
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: So you have to say rituals. Okay? Do that? Why

546
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 1: are you so mean to him, Nikki? Why are you

547
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: made me were mama? Mama? I don't bully him well

548
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: because I'm trying to make him a better newsman, y'all,

549
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: but you also want me to get through the fucking

550
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: stories quick. Do you understand that I have a trouble reading?

551
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: First of all, I didn't know that. No, I don't.

552
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: I'm a very good reader. You're supposed to say, no,

553
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: you actually can read, all right. I just want to

554
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: get through it fast. There's a lot of words here.

555
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 1: Didn't know it just Rituals is a word that you

556
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 1: made me not want to. Rituals ease us through transitions.

557
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: Rituals are routines elevated by creativity, driven by intention, and

558
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 1: imbued with meaning. I esther encourages post breakup ritual wolves

559
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: because they help us understand that although relationship is over,

560
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 1: we are not over. Breakup ritual So like a post

561
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: breakup ritual would be like writing a letter to the

562
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 1: person going to a spot that you guys would would

563
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: go on dates and like have a moment. So don't

564
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: look at a breakup so negatively, like be like we're ending,

565
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: but we're not ending. Yes, love it, love it, love it.

566
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: Everything must end, whether you die or you break up,

567
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: like you will have a breakup at some point in

568
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 1: your life, whether like when, so everything will end. Endings

569
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 1: don't need to be like the saddest thing. They can

570
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 1: be almost celebrated or like honored. Noah, is this what

571
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: the justice? Yeah, that's exactly it. And to Andrew's point

572
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 1: about going to a place that you went with your ex,

573
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: like instead of seeing it as a place you went

574
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: with your ex. Take your girlfriends there, go there, connect

575
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 1: connect with other people and just um, you know, don't

576
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: look at breakup is such a negative thing. Yes, she

577
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 1: was saying, how like like a wedding, like you have

578
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,479
Speaker 1: an engagement, you're celebrating, and then a divorce is like

579
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,959
Speaker 1: dark and you know take divorce photos. Yeah, it's all

580
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: about your perception of it and how you presented. I

581
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 1: whenever people tell me they're going through divorce, I say congratulations.

582
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: I always do. And it's not something that I'm just

583
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: like faking. I really do think it's so brave to

584
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 1: have sworn to to be or you know, like not

585
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: sworn in, but to have vowed to do something forever

586
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: and then realized that you've changed your mind. Like I

587
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 1: had a good friend, um, possibly a close relative who

588
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: quit their job. Resigned because they were like, I don't

589
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 1: want to do this any more, and then they changed

590
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: and then you know, the job was like we understand,

591
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 1: we'll miss you. And then the person changed their mind

592
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 1: and was like you know what, actually that was a

593
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 1: rash decision. I didn't think about it enough. I'm going

594
00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: to ask for it back, and I was like, I say,

595
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: congratulations on both. None of those are embarrassing, none of

596
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: the like you just at least you are doing what

597
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: you want. And so I think when you break up,

598
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: you should treat it as a celebration because just because

599
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: the relationship ends, it doesn't mean it was a failure.

600
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: That is not a cliche thing. That is true. A

601
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:21,879
Speaker 1: tenure relationship deserves a party, um, even when if it ends.

602
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,800
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I mean I look at my whatever

603
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 1: my parents divorce, and like, the divorce was horrible, but

604
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:32,720
Speaker 1: then the twenty five years of fighting after is way

605
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 1: worse than the actual breakup. And you just wasted time arguing, ego,

606
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 1: just drop it and understand, like, yeah, we had a

607
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 1: great time. It's time to move on. You don't need

608
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: to drop it, but you need to work on your resentments,

609
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,959
Speaker 1: which No and I talked about of like, Okay, why

610
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 1: am I my husband cheated on me? What did not

611
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: that it's my fault? But what's my role in this?

612
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: Do I need to let this ruin my life? Do

613
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 1: I need to play the victim here? Maybe? But what

614
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: can I do to take back control and not let

615
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 1: this ruin my life, and it's hard to do it,

616
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 1: really is. It takes a lot of work and a

617
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: lot of self reflection. I recommend start stripping. There we go.

618
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: Next story. Men are often lying when they say they

619
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: want an older partner to study ship. I love these studies,

620
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: Like it's not like, yeah, I mean then these are

621
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: all studies that I've conducted, just based on my d

622
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 1: MS slides with the youngest guy in your d M.

623
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 1: These days, I get like nineteen year olds Jesus, you know,

624
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 1: I uh, if you're interested in a younger man, I

625
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: know you probably don't want to go there. It's always

626
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 1: very self deprecating, like you would never want me, Like

627
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: the young boys don't have a lot of confidence in

628
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: that way. They're not like I'm a young buck that

629
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 1: can fuck you better than an old man. Like it's

630
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: always like you probably don't want me. Um yeah. You

631
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: always get mad when you're like, oh, can you teach

632
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: me a few things? And you're like no, like I

633
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:03,399
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know even how to do long

634
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 1: division anymore. Um yeah I can the happy A C.

635
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 1: T s um that essay part no I Um yeah,

636
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 1: I've always said that I don't want to be a

637
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 1: fetish to a young boy. So if like men are like,

638
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: you know, into older women, I don't want to contribute

639
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 1: to that, and like makes me uncomfortable. But I'm definitely

640
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,919
Speaker 1: down to Um. I think that I'm okay now with

641
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 1: engaging in romantic relationships that I know aren't going to

642
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 1: stand the test of time. Um. I can picture them

643
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:39,919
Speaker 1: as like, oh, they exist in this moment. I don't

644
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 1: they don't need to be forever. So like when I

645
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 1: don't want to wait to get the phone, yeah, I

646
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: just think that what were we talking about? I don't know,

647
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 1: we got a phone call. Uh, we were talking about age,

648
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,320
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, I just don't want to be you

649
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 1: don't fetish. But I'm just scared a guy is going

650
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,359
Speaker 1: to use sleeping with me because I know that I've

651
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 1: asked guys this before, like what's the oldest woman you've

652
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 1: ever been with? And when I was twenty something, and

653
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: they in a guy my age year old would be

654
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 1: like I slept with the FORTI SI year. I'll be like,

655
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: oh my god, what was it like? And they're like

656
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 1: and they can like say something that will make me

657
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 1: feel young and validate me. And I just don't ever

658
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: want a guy to be like her skin was saggy

659
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,880
Speaker 1: and her tits were old, or like. There's just so

660
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 1: many insecurities I have about men saying mean things about me,

661
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,399
Speaker 1: even though I just said I wasn't insecure. I don't

662
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,919
Speaker 1: think you would ever even hook up with a guy

663
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 1: who is that. Um yeah, it was like a guy

664
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: who's who would actually say that about a woman is

665
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 1: disgusting and I don't see that what guys say to

666
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 1: get hot girls to fuck them. And if they think

667
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: telling a hot girl that Nicki Glazer isn't that hot

668
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: when you take your clothes off, because they'll be like, oh,

669
00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 1: I sleppt with Bicky Glazer because I'm famous ish, they

670
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: might use that some day down the road to get

671
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,359
Speaker 1: laid with like younger girls, and like the girl will

672
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: be insecure and be like you did you slept with her?

673
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: And they'll be like, yeah, but she wasn't even that

674
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 1: hot or whatever, and then the girl will like them more.

675
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 1: Like guys will just like lie to get I just

676
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: don't ever want to be used as like a novelty. Yeah.

677
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 1: The problem is there's a lot of times too, like

678
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 1: a guy who's like twenty nine will sleep like a

679
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: with a fifty year old or whatever, or like someone

680
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: older and be like, it always feels like it will

681
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 1: only be a one time thing, which is sad because

682
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: it's talked about like, yeah, one time, I just fifty

683
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: or you know, it's never like, oh and then we

684
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 1: actually dated and I and I you know, met her

685
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: kids and we we got along really well. And she

686
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: loves to read and she loves to travel. It's always

687
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: like I fucked her and she had faked her tids

688
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 1: were actually firmer. Yeah. I mean I am finding that

689
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 1: like even with the small amount of sexual experience I

690
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,919
Speaker 1: have in the grand scheme of things, is not a lot.

691
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: I've had like a lot of dark days. Um, like

692
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: my sexual like I really haven't had regular sex and

693
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 1: years and years and then before that it was just

694
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 1: the same person forever. But I feel like I am

695
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: so much better sexually than most young girls, Like I

696
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: just I know I am. I'm better in bed and

697
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: and that's just not because of my experience, but because

698
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: I'm just like a woman who's comfortable with her body.

699
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: And I think that that, um yeah, like I I

700
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: feel like I have something to offer the young young boys.

701
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 1: I'm not opposed to it, but so it says they're lying. Look,

702
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: you reached the farting stage, which is the stage you

703
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,240
Speaker 1: start to funk like a champ because you have let

704
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: all your insecurities go yeah, and all my farts go

705
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,760
Speaker 1: to findings. Essentially, there was a survey on an average

706
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 1: respondent said they were seeking a partner who was within

707
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 1: two years of their own age old showed that while

708
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: members of both sexes between the ages of eighteen and

709
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 1: twenty three typically accepted invitations from users close to their

710
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: own age at the mine for older men m the

711
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 1: number oh, it declined. For older men would tend to

712
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: only one people in their closer age, Yes, close age.

713
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 1: The number dropped drastically once men reached the age of thirty.

714
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,240
Speaker 1: On the other hand, older women were far more likely

715
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 1: than men to contact partners their own age as they

716
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 1: got older. So men are just staying in that young

717
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,240
Speaker 1: age and women are more inclined. They keep getting younger.

718
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: You guys get older, they like the fucking McConaughey line

719
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 1: from yeah fast, where was that line? They can give

720
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 1: them high school girls I get older and back then

721
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:46,320
Speaker 1: were all it's really um, yeah, it's uh, it's gross.

722
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 1: But you know this is this is nothing new? Um

723
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: sports story ready for this? Yeah, let's do our sports moment.

724
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: You get one a week Gears Andrew's weekly sports Moment.

725
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:03,840
Speaker 1: Oh you sound thrilled, okay. Shaquille O'Neil, he was a

726
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: basketball player. Nikki paid for a stranger's engagement ring when

727
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: he overheard him asking how much is left to pay

728
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 1: it off. Shaquille says, I'm just trying to make people

729
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:17,719
Speaker 1: smile cute, so essentially, at first he didn't want to

730
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 1: take it. The guy he said, he was like, man,

731
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 1: I can't do that, But I told him, don't worry

732
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,919
Speaker 1: about it. I do it all the time. O'Neil says

733
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,800
Speaker 1: he didn't intend for the moment to go viral because

734
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 1: he does it all the time, and not for that reason.

735
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 1: Oh my god, cute, Oh my god. I love him,

736
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: and you know what, I believe this. That's so cool.

737
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 1: I want to be so rich. That's gotta be a

738
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 1: great feeling that you could buy a diamond that was

739
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 1: mine by people slaves, just that like you over here,

740
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 1: someone struggling to you know, get their change together at

741
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: the counter, and you just go I got it. I mean,

742
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: if Shaquille O'Neil is doing this all the time. I

743
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 1: gotta start following around and I got it. I mean

744
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: like you picked the nickel off the ground that they

745
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: dropped and you go, I got it, and you give

746
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: it back to them and then you wait patiently for

747
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 1: them to pay, and then you pull out your no.

748
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 1: I think it's just so cool that UM to do

749
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: that for people, UM and to yeah, Like that's the

750
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,839
Speaker 1: thing about like tipping even five dollars extra on a

751
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 1: meal or something like that says you don't have to

752
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 1: be Shaquille O'Neal to like kind of spread this kind

753
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: of joy financially. It's like two or three extra dollars

754
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 1: when you go out to eat, like for a tip,

755
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 1: like on top of the tip that you already left,

756
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 1: will make someone's day better than it would have been.

757
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: It's that simple. And I really implore everyone out there too,

758
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 1: because you'll get it back if you can afford to

759
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: an extra five dollar tip, whether you're at Starbucks, Like,

760
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:51,400
Speaker 1: can you imagine tipping on your Starbucks drink? It's just

761
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: two drinks, Just add on five dollars once in a while.

762
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: These people are they work so hard they'll fuck it.

763
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 1: They'll smile so much they'll be like really like, and

764
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,240
Speaker 1: it's just five dollars. I can ask you a question,

765
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: if you're the woman marrying that guy and Shaquille O'Neil

766
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 1: paid off the ring, would you find out as a

767
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: turn off at all? No, I'd be like, that is

768
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 1: so cool. No, because you already know the the guy

769
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 1: is probably hopefully you know the guy's finances and you

770
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: It is really dumb, though, for that guy to buy

771
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 1: a ring, or for that woman to expect that guy

772
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,439
Speaker 1: to buy a ring when he doesn't have the money

773
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: for it. I think that's just ridiculous. I think wedding

774
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 1: culture and diamonds and all that stuff is just so

775
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 1: stupid if you can't afford it unless you have Shaquille

776
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,879
Speaker 1: O'Neill there. You know what I did, always shop where

777
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:46,879
Speaker 1: he shoots in that tone shops. I saw the guy

778
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 1: cutting um the bushes outside, and I feel like the

779
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,879
Speaker 1: gardener at like a hotel never gets a thank you,

780
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: and he works harder than like anyone, And I just

781
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 1: made sure to say thank you to him, and he

782
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 1: looked at me like no one has effort said thank

783
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 1: you before, and he goes You're welcome man and whatever.

784
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 1: I know. I'm like, well, I did my deed, but

785
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 1: it really was just a very little deed that I

786
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: swear to you like the guy has never like he

787
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 1: deserves it more than anyone. Yep, just say thank you more,

788
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 1: put good energy out there, try to make people smile

789
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 1: by telling women that they should smile more. Just like

790
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 1: ever you gotta do. Well, thank you for the sports

791
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: moment that was very palatable for me. I know, we

792
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 1: we Me and Noah figured out the exact sports moment.

793
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:36,799
Speaker 1: It has no stats, no winser laws, and has nothing

794
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 1: to do with the game. Well that's for you, because

795
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,720
Speaker 1: last time you actually had one of those, you fucked

796
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,760
Speaker 1: it up royally. Sorry Kansas Kansas City Royals. Alright, so

797
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 1: let's get into a return to a segment that we

798
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 1: started out. Remember a couple of weeks ago when we

799
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 1: did um, what's the blankest thing You've ever done? And

800
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: it was the category of grossest. Well, we shared our

801
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 1: grossest things, and boy, we got some submissions for some

802
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: grossest things from our listeners are besties, and we're going

803
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 1: to read some of you for some of them now,

804
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 1: and just they are grossly you've read them I read

805
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 1: one line and I got sick. Okay, okay, these are

806
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 1: the uh these are our listeners. Wait, sorry, no, I

807
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 1: just want to say, um, some of them are edited

808
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 1: down a bit, so uh the grossest thing because we

809
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 1: do get long emails. Thank you Noah for reading through them.

810
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 1: You can always write the show at the Niki Laser

811
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. Yes, and these are just

812
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 1: some of them. We've had so many, but there's just

813
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 1: not enough time for them all, so thank you. And

814
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 1: I wrote more information Lacy. Let's start with Kelsey. Kelsey Uh,

815
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: She says, I had the flu about ten years ago.

816
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: I was sent home from school for being sick and

817
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: started to feel super nauseous. I didn't want to throw

818
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: up on my mom's cat, so I ran up the

819
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: stairs but didn't make it to the bathroom, so instead,

820
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 1: I stuck my head over the banister of the staircase

821
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 1: and just let the vomit project down to the first

822
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,840
Speaker 1: floor like a waterfall. I also simultaneously peed my pants.

823
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 1: My mom made me clean it up. That bitch. Fuck

824
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: your mom. Your mom made you clean up your throw up,

825
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: You poor little girl. I'm so sorry. Your mom is

826
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:26,240
Speaker 1: a cunt. SUSY's aunt. No, that soun needs to clean

827
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: that ship. Don't try your mom a bit because she

828
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: didn't clean get first of all, get to the bathroom.

829
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 1: Grow up. Kelsey was so sick, she was pissing and

830
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 1: vomiting at the same time, and she was trying to

831
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 1: make a beautiful waterfall scene in her house. It's like,

832
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 1: those aren't cheap to do an indoor waterfall. I for

833
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,280
Speaker 1: your mom to make you clean that up is a Misshannigan,

834
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: move you style. I would have made her eat it

835
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 1: off the floor, off my nice wooden floor. No that

836
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 1: is That's the one thing I love about when I

837
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 1: was a kid was when I got sick, my mom

838
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: would really like to be me and like, never make

839
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 1: me feel bad, clean everything up. It was like the

840
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 1: time from my Netflix special that I said that I

841
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 1: had engaged in some sex where some maybe some stuff happened,

842
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 1: some stuff came out and my ex boyfriend acted like

843
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,320
Speaker 1: when I came back to bed after running to the

844
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 1: shower and crying in embarrassment, came back to the bed

845
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 1: and it was the sheets were done. It was as

846
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 1: if it never happened, and it wasn't. I wasn't blamed

847
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 1: for it. It It was like that was like it was

848
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 1: just like so nice that all my mess was cleaned up.

849
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 1: And that's what that mom should have done for you. Yeah,

850
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:42,399
Speaker 1: but her mom didn't tear that ass up. Next next

851
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: grossest thing Number two, Lacy Lazy is just one line.

852
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 1: It was the best email. Well, Lacy, I don't know

853
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 1: if you're like an ear nurse, this would make more

854
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: sense you guys. Everyone just hold on. If you're walking

855
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 1: up some stairs about tom it, run now to the

856
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 1: bathroom because you're about to release it. Guys, I'm not

857
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 1: kidding you, Like I don't want to trigger warning. Lacy's

858
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 1: Lacey says, I had to pull maggots out of someone's

859
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 1: dick hole. Okay, I don't even know what how this

860
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:21,919
Speaker 1: could happen. I don't know how you could love someone

861
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 1: enough to do this. I actually maybe if I was

862
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: on a desert island, was with my loved one and

863
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 1: there was no Maybe she's a pall bear, like she

864
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 1: works at a funeral or something. I love like operating

865
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: on people, but this is too much like I would I.

866
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,279
Speaker 1: I got to pull a piece of coral out of

867
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 1: someone's foot the other day, and it was fucking amazing. Yeah,

868
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: it's like maggots out of a dick It was so

869
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:47,360
Speaker 1: good just searching for it and pulling it out with

870
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: a tweezers. It felt so satisfying. So maybe I can

871
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 1: see some enjoyment and maggot's out of a dick hole.

872
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: But and it just like, you know, he got some

873
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 1: food stuck in there, and then next thing you know,

874
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,799
Speaker 1: the maggots come up and know what happened? To mean,

875
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:04,319
Speaker 1: he's a corpse? Though I know, did did Lazy give

876
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 1: any other information? Or was this one sentence? It was

877
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 1: just one sentence? She did say, Um, let me know

878
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: if you need more info? Yes, lay please, we need

879
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: more info. The fact of your name is Lacy is

880
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: also like the most juxtaposed name for pulling maggots out

881
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: of a dicky About me pulling maggots out of a

882
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 1: dick hole? Yes, we needed one more sentence? Please, at

883
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:31,399
Speaker 1: least I would. I would take a Um, I don't

884
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 1: know a novella about this, Yeah, I would, I would, alright,

885
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:39,359
Speaker 1: Mica is next. Mica. I went to a guy's house

886
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:41,319
Speaker 1: after being at the bar and we started hooking up.

887
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 1: Before we were about to have sex, I realized I

888
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: still had a tampon, and the guy got up to

889
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 1: grab a condom, and in my drunken state, I took

890
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: the opportunity to rip out my tampon and put it

891
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 1: under the bed. We had sex, and somehow I forgot

892
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 1: about said tampon. Oh girl snuck out in the early

893
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: morning hours, and while in my uber I remembered my

894
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 1: used hamp on. Nesting under nesting is hilarious. Nesting under

895
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: his bed. He moved out of his house a few

896
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:08,759
Speaker 1: days later, so there is no way he didn't find it.

897
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 1: Needless to say, we never spoke again. What would you do,

898
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 1: Andrew Colin if you went to the bathroom before bowing

899
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 1: a girl and you two days later, we're moving out

900
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 1: and you found a bloody tampon underneath your bet. I

901
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 1: would have to frame it, yeah, as like the first

902
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,959
Speaker 1: like a like a new sandwich shop, a new deli

903
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 1: that opened in the first customers dollar bill. Yeah yeah,

904
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 1: like I would frame in like a jersey, like I'd

905
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 1: make it a fat head. I would blow it up

906
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: and I put it on the next while that I'm honestly,

907
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,800
Speaker 1: I would be probably pretty disgusted, but um I would

908
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: I would almost respect it that she was so down.

909
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 1: But maybe, but you know, maybe a couple of dames.

910
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,800
Speaker 1: Number one, you have a d D. That's insane, you

911
00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't remember to get that. But I also relate to

912
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:04,760
Speaker 1: like forgetting things that are that important. And you also

913
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 1: might have a drinking problem, but you probably have a

914
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 1: d D. Is what is going on here? And you

915
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 1: know what, I love you so much for writing this

916
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 1: in I love all of these I love that they

917
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 1: were all girls. From what I can tell, Kelsey might

918
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 1: have been a boy the vomitter. But I love these

919
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 1: stories of just gross, gross ladies. I love it. I

920
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 1: love how gross women can be about forgetting a tamp

921
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 1: on and pulling it out and not like I do

922
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 1: that ship all the time where I'm just like, I'll

923
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,399
Speaker 1: just put it here and I'll remember, like a piece

924
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,839
Speaker 1: of gum or something like gross, Like I'm just like, oh,

925
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 1: I'll put it here until and I'll get it later.

926
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,320
Speaker 1: Wiping your bookers on something being like I'll clean that

927
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 1: in the morning, and then you don't clean it ever,

928
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 1: and then you would They found that when I was thirteen,

929
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 1: I would just wipe my come on the right on

930
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 1: my carpet and it got underneath my bed kind of

931
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 1: I would pull a Lacey or not a lazy that's maggots.

932
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 1: Who was who was the Mica Mike, I'd pull a

933
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 1: micun and I would just wipe it underneath. And then

934
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 1: eventually we moved and there was a two by two

935
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 1: foot of just hardcome on my carpet. Oh my god. Yeah,

936
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 1: well that was the blankest thing you've ever done. And uh,

937
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 1: we're going to start a new one next week, I'm guessing,

938
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 1: and uh, we'll get your submissions for that. But if

939
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: you have any more gross things to send in, keep

940
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 1: them short paragraph or less. Sent them into the Nicki

941
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 1: Glazer Pod at gmail dot com and make sure, uh

942
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 1: make sure Lacy you follow follow up and let us

943
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: know why you were pulling. The man gets out of

944
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 1: a dick hole. Let's move into final thought of the day.

945
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 1: I'm in a great moved right man. You know we're

946
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 1: going to a hotel, a really nice hotel, to go

947
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 1: hang in a cabana all day. Are you ready? I'm ready.

948
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 1: I got my swimmy's on, I got my black T

949
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 1: shirt on that I could swim in, and and are

950
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 1: you ready to take your shirt off? And take my

951
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:52,320
Speaker 1: shirt off because we're not around a bunch of thirty

952
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 1: fucking hot whatever. Never mind, take that out to get Wait,

953
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,240
Speaker 1: why you are you going to swim without your shirt? Yes,

954
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 1: of course I'm ready to take my shirt off. I

955
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 1: I'm ready to um just spread my wings and you

956
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 1: know what I do, though, I'll go in the pool

957
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 1: and I'll go to about four ft five inches so

958
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: it's right around the shoulders, and I'll just sit there,

959
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 1: you know, for a while, so they won't see your

960
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 1: whole tours. Yeah. I was in the hot tub the

961
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:23,000
Speaker 1: other day and no one likes to sit on the

962
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 1: floor of a hot tub more than your boy. Yeah,

963
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 1: to hide up the body. Yeah, oh man. Yeah, I

964
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: have let go of my um body and security is

965
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 1: in a big way. Like I really, my biggest insecurity

966
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 1: is my ass. And like none of the none of

967
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 1: bikini bottoms cover your full ass. The carve into it

968
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 1: now like they they're not doing a full thong, but

969
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 1: it's just like it's for girls with big butts, but

970
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 1: mine's just like so flat and like I I just

971
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,879
Speaker 1: hate the way my cheek meets my leg. I hate

972
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:53,719
Speaker 1: that part of my body. There's nothing I can do

973
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 1: about it. Just like is not good. There's not enough definition.

974
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to work hard enough to get it.

975
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 1: And and now I'm just like I don't care. It's

976
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:04,840
Speaker 1: like not that I'm doing if your body isn't the

977
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 1: way you want it to be, Like, I know this

978
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:08,840
Speaker 1: is the simplest thing in the world, but it's not

979
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 1: like you're choosing for your body to be that way,

980
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 1: like girls like and I'm speaking to girls and guys,

981
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 1: but mainly girls like I always felt like, God, I

982
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 1: I eat too much, blah blah blah, I don't work out,

983
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 1: Like this is my fault. And it's like, no, it's not.

984
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,399
Speaker 1: You're You're not wrong for your body doing this thing.

985
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 1: If you could change it, you would, but you don't

986
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,960
Speaker 1: have enough time to do pilates and enough money to

987
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: get a reformer or whatever the funk. It is so

988
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 1: just the thing that you hate about your body, that

989
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:40,840
Speaker 1: you think is so different than everyone else's, and like

990
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:44,240
Speaker 1: it is holding you back from happiness. When I focus

991
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 1: on that part of my body, which is my butt,

992
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 1: I just go, I'm not wanting. I didn't choose this.

993
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 1: I'm not a bad person. I'm not like it's not

994
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 1: like murdering someone like, why do I make it a

995
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 1: moral issue of like I'm a bad person because my

996
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 1: butt is this way, Like it's just the and I

997
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: was dealt or it was the butt I was dealt

998
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 1: and no hands really want to grab onto it, and

999
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:09,239
Speaker 1: no hands that we want to grab it, but it's

1000
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:11,839
Speaker 1: just like it's not my fault. I read a great

1001
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: stat the other day that people see you hotter than

1002
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:21,160
Speaker 1: you see yourself. Yeah, okay, I might have made that up.

1003
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 1: I think you did know I read that somewhere maybe

1004
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 1: Esther Esther rituals. This has been a great pod. I

1005
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 1: really appreciate our fans. We have some amazing best friends

1006
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:36,839
Speaker 1: out there, and thank you so much for writing. And

1007
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 1: I had this one guy write me because I also

1008
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 1: was afraid to take my shirt off at the pool

1009
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 1: and like, I I relate to you, bro, and if

1010
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 1: you ever I wanna do a standing sixty nine, hit

1011
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 1: me up. And I was like, thanks, Jeff. No. Our

1012
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 1: listeners are so nice and they are also DM me

1013
00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 1: and I just like I love all the followers we've

1014
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 1: accrued over at Nikki Glazer pod on Instagram. I feel

1015
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:03,319
Speaker 1: like that's like the saturated, that's like the that's a

1016
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,719
Speaker 1: group of listeners that I can depend on. I can

1017
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: post things on there that they will get. I'm not

1018
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 1: going to be judged. I'm not going to be objectified.

1019
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,359
Speaker 1: I'm just like I can just be more vulnerable too

1020
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 1: with our listeners than I can with anyone else. And

1021
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 1: we do this every day. I'm going to miss you

1022
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 1: the next three days, guys. We really do miss doing

1023
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 1: the show, um. And it feels like too long of

1024
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 1: a weekend. I don't like a three day weekend when

1025
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 1: it comes to a podcast, but listen, this is four

1026
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:32,919
Speaker 1: times more shows a week than any and it's still

1027
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 1: not enough. But thank you for listening. I hope you

1028
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:39,920
Speaker 1: all have a great freaking weekend and be kind to yourselves.

1029
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:43,319
Speaker 1: Tip well, um, forgive yourselves for the thing you hate

1030
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 1: about your body. It's not your fault. It was just

1031
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000
Speaker 1: the way you were born. Just keep saying that, like,

1032
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:49,239
Speaker 1: it's not my fault. I didn't. I don't want. If

1033
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: I could stop my finger and make my arm not

1034
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,839
Speaker 1: that flabby, I would, but it's it's this. I can't

1035
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:57,719
Speaker 1: change it. So just accept acceptance, acceptance, and have all

1036
00:56:57,719 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 1: the swells and all the swells, um, and we will

1037
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: see you on Monday. Okay m