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Speaker 1: What up? Everyone? Welcome to your favorite podcast, Cheeky's and Chill,

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Speaker 1: the podcast where you come to learn, to grow and

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Speaker 1: to glow and talking about glowing and learning and growing

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Speaker 1: and all the good stuff. We're going to talk about

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Speaker 1: hustle culture. Okay, what that means? Why it is that

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Speaker 1: we do it, or at least me and I want

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Speaker 1: to talk about that today. So we're going to talk

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Speaker 1: about all of this and more on your favorite podcast,

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Speaker 1: Cheeky's and Chill. So, hustle culture and toxic productivity? What

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Speaker 1: is that? I call it the rat race of life.

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Speaker 1: You know, like the wheels at the Hamsters they're on

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Speaker 1: and they're just willing away. A lot of people are

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Speaker 1: on that wheel. I was on that wheel for a

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Speaker 1: long time and in some ways and sometimes I'm still

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Speaker 1: I still am. There's nothing wrong with hustling. There's nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong with working hard. I think that's a beautiful thing.

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Speaker 1: I admired my mom for working hard all of her life,

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Speaker 1: but I think back and I'm like, did she enjoy

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Speaker 1: her life? Was she able to enjoy all of her

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Speaker 1: hard work? And even my grandpa, I'm not close to him,

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Speaker 1: but that's where this comes from. My grandpa has always

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Speaker 1: been a very hard worker. Always wakes up at four

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Speaker 1: or five in the morning. I don't know if he

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Speaker 1: still does. But when I was in his life, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I saw this man wake up every single day at

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Speaker 1: four in the morning and put his health as a

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Speaker 1: priority and would run I don't know how many miles

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Speaker 1: and work, work, work, and he never vacationed. It was

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Speaker 1: rare when we went on vacations. I think we went

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Speaker 1: to k one year. But I wonder. I'm like, does

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Speaker 1: he enjoy the fruits of his labor? And that's one

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Speaker 1: thing that I wanted to change in my family. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to break this because it was costing me a lot.

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Speaker 1: It was costing me me. My mom once said this,

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Speaker 1: and I always go back to my mom, guys, because

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Speaker 1: that's that was my biggest teacher. I always say that

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Speaker 1: she was my professor, right, And she once said that

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Speaker 1: she was very happy with everything she had accomplished. She's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy on stage, and I'm happy with everything

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Speaker 1: I've been able to purchase in my cars and my home,

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Speaker 1: but I'm just not happy in my personal life. And

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Speaker 1: I'll never forget that. And I think it was because

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Speaker 1: I think at that time, I think Jackie had moved

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Speaker 1: out and she was I don't remember exactly what was

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Speaker 1: going on, but I know that when she said her

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Speaker 1: personal life, she met her kid because we were growing

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Speaker 1: up and we were just being kids, and she just

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Speaker 1: felt like everything is so great here, but not here.

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Speaker 1: And I think it was because and I think she

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Speaker 1: was trying to do this at the end of her life,

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Speaker 1: trying to be more of a mother and be more present.

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Speaker 1: And I appreciate that because I remember my siblings telling

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Speaker 1: me because I wasn't around right the last few months

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Speaker 1: of her life. But Jackie, my sister, told me that

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Speaker 1: one of the fondest memories that she has with my

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Speaker 1: mom is I think like a month before she passed,

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Speaker 1: she took her to a No Doubt concert and she

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Speaker 1: was spending a lot of quality time with each of them,

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Speaker 1: and I think it was clicking, like where she was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is what's important, like really carving

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Speaker 1: out time for my kids, you know, because a lot

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Speaker 1: of holidays she was gone. When my niece Luna was born,

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Speaker 1: she was working, and those are things that I know

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Speaker 1: really affected her. So I think she was really trying

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Speaker 1: to like change that so I've made it a point,

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Speaker 1: especially when I hit a rock bottom, because I've hit

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Speaker 1: quite a few rock bottoms in my life. This last

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Speaker 1: rock bottom, emotionally, I was drained physically, mentally, I was

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Speaker 1: just like not happy in my career, and I realized

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Speaker 1: that I was in survival mode. I was like, all

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Speaker 1: I've been doing for the past ten years is just

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Speaker 1: hustling and trying to live up to this image that

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Speaker 1: maybe the world has set upon me because of who's

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Speaker 1: my mother and what people expect from me. But I

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Speaker 1: was working so hard to attain this approval I guess

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Speaker 1: of people, and I was just depleting myself. And I'm like, wait,

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Speaker 1: what the F is really important? What really makes me happy? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I have my Grammys, and yes I'm happy and I

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Speaker 1: go down con I still want to do all of

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Speaker 1: those things, but I had to like scale back and

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Speaker 1: be like, wait a second, these are the things that

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Speaker 1: are important. I want to be able to take a

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Speaker 1: Sunday off and go with my husband to Santa Monica

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Speaker 1: with his family and not look at my phone the

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Speaker 1: entire time. It doesn't matter who's calling me, hopefully it's

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Speaker 1: not an emergency. But I want to be present. I

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Speaker 1: want to remember these moments. There are things that happened

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Speaker 1: within those ten years that I was in survival mode

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Speaker 1: that just went by and I didn't even realize. I

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Speaker 1: don't remember a lot. I was like blinded by work, work, work, work,

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Speaker 1: accomplishing the bigger, better, more more. That's cool. I'm not

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Speaker 1: knocking that. I'm not knocking accomplishments. I love to fill accomplished.

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Speaker 1: What I'm saying is do that, but also carve out

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Speaker 1: some time for you to read, charge your batteries, to

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Speaker 1: really focus on what's important. Family, connection with God, connection

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Speaker 1: with yourself. Stopping and really looking up and saying, Wow,

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Speaker 1: what is beyond the clouds? Have you ever thought about that?

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Speaker 1: Have you ever stopped and like walk outside and be like,

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Speaker 1: instead of just I'm going to the car, I'm on

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Speaker 1: my phone. I gotta get shit done. But you really

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Speaker 1: just stop, You take a deep breath, and you look

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Speaker 1: around and you're like, I really wonder what's beyond those clouds?

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Speaker 1: Like what does space look like? Like? How did we

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Speaker 1: get here? There's a lot more to this life than

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Speaker 1: just living to work instead of working to live. And

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Speaker 1: I've said that a few times in different episodes on

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Speaker 1: Chiky's and Chilla on all my seasons. But like, think

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Speaker 1: about that, a lot of people just wake up every

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Speaker 1: day to work and to make money, but they're not living,

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Speaker 1: they're not like enjoying, and it's like always just chasing

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Speaker 1: the next freaking car that even the next iPhone. Everyone

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Speaker 1: wants the next damn iPhone all the time and waiting

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Speaker 1: and it's like it's it's we're just that's what it is.

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Speaker 1: It's capitalism. It's like it's in our face, it's in

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Speaker 1: our freaking feeds, it hears us, and it's just like

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Speaker 1: bye bye, buy more and more. So if you buy more,

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Speaker 1: you gotta work more. And it's just like they keep

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Speaker 1: you on this wheel of just and it's like stop

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Speaker 1: the damn wheel, get off the wheel. It'll be there.

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Speaker 1: The wheel is gonna be there. Trust me, there's enough

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Speaker 1: for all of us to go around, chill out and

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Speaker 1: just stop for a second and really figure out what

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Speaker 1: is important to me, not to everyone else. The things

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Speaker 1: that are important to me may be very different from

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Speaker 1: the things that are important to you, So don't go

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Speaker 1: based off what I tell you. Really sit and think

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Speaker 1: and say what is really important to me, what makes

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Speaker 1: me happy? I have made lists I could remember of

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Speaker 1: different things that make me happy in different times of

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Speaker 1: my life. For me, for a long time, it was

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Speaker 1: going to church. Now instead of going to church, I

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Speaker 1: make the church at my house. Now, I'm like, every

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Speaker 1: single day I have to go to church, to my church,

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Speaker 1: to the church that I've built in my restroom, in

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Speaker 1: my little altar. Those are the things that make me happy.

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Speaker 1: Spending time, quality time with my husband, make me happy

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Speaker 1: with my friends, the things that really bring me back

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Speaker 1: to life, bring me back to what is important. If

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Speaker 1: I'm constantly just working and working and working and trying

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Speaker 1: to buy myself this and that and blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: Like am I really enjoying it? Or am I getting

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Speaker 1: all those things because I want to up someone Like

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Speaker 1: I want to show people that I have this and

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Speaker 1: I have that. It's like I'd rather have a heart

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Speaker 1: of freaking gold than a watch that is solid gold.

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Speaker 1: You get me, Like, That's what I'm talking about. And

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Speaker 1: I was there for a long time, guys, getting myself

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Speaker 1: into unnecessary debt because I wanted to play the part

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Speaker 1: or show that, yeah, I'm an artist. An artist is

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Speaker 1: supposed to have this type of car and drive this

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Speaker 1: type of car and have this type of house, and

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Speaker 1: dress this way and have these shoes, and I like

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Speaker 1: nice things. I do. I do. I love quality stuff absolutely.

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Speaker 1: Now it's different. Now it's very different. And I think

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Speaker 1: back and I'm like, all of those things that I

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Speaker 1: did just to show that I was successful. A lot

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Speaker 1: of people, guys, and I'm learning this that a lot

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Speaker 1: of people that are very wealthy, very very wealthy. Usually

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Speaker 1: I see this in more of like the Asian culture.

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Speaker 1: They are so well but you see them. They don't

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Speaker 1: have a Rolex on, They're driving a Prius, they have

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Speaker 1: a modest home, but their bank account is crazy millions.

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Speaker 1: Because they know what's important. And I've had conversations. I

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Speaker 1: had a conversation with he was a Chinese man a

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Speaker 1: few months ago, and He's like, I work, but I

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Speaker 1: take it easy every day. It's like I am really

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Speaker 1: enjoying every step I take, every breath that I take.

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Speaker 1: I for a long time was I bought the car

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Speaker 1: every year. I had to have, you know, the car

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Speaker 1: of the year. I had to have the newest iPhone.

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Speaker 1: I had to have the best watch of the best

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Speaker 1: watch out of all my friends. Until I stopped that

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Speaker 1: and I was like, that is just so energetically consuming, mentally, physically, emotionally,

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Speaker 1: Like I just can't do that anymore, and I let

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Speaker 1: it all go. He's like, I sold everything, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I want to have generational wealth. I am working for

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Speaker 1: the generations that are coming. That doesn't mean I'm going

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Speaker 1: to give my children everything that I've worked hard. They

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Speaker 1: have to earn it. But I just want to know

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Speaker 1: that I'm working. And I'm like, it's here. But what's

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Speaker 1: really important is having these moments with my wife. Of

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Speaker 1: she I hear her, I'm not so busy on my

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Speaker 1: phone working that I'm not listening to her. And for

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Speaker 1: a long time I pretended to listen and I wasn't listening.

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Speaker 1: I didn't remember half of the conversations that we were having.

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Speaker 1: And now I enjoy sitting with her with my phone

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Speaker 1: away from us and having this conversation of whatever it

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Speaker 1: is that she's feeling and whatever it is that she

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Speaker 1: needs to talk about. And my life has changed. I'm

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Speaker 1: a happier person. And you see me and it doesn't

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Speaker 1: look like I have money, and I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, like yeah, So anyway, I just went into

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Speaker 1: like this whole other thing. But I had that conversation

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, WHOA Like, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: still like nice things. I mean I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: that's cool for you. I still like my you know,

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Speaker 1: my red bottoms and stuff like that, but I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna like do it because oh I need to have

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Speaker 1: these shoes because I'm going to this party and I

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Speaker 1: want to like, you know, show off or whatever the

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Speaker 1: case may be. Now I'm like, I buy them because

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Speaker 1: I want them, But most of the time, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to spend that much on these shoes.

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Speaker 1: Before I didn't care. Before I was like, oh I

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Speaker 1: need them, It's part of my job. And I would

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Speaker 1: make all these excuses. It's like, no, like I now

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Speaker 1: for me to buy even a bag, I think about

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Speaker 1: it so much. I'm like, Okay, if I'm going to

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Speaker 1: buy this bag, I'm going to donate one. Okay, here's

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Speaker 1: a big thing, guys. This was me, Okay, feeling guilty

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Speaker 1: for resting. Oh my gosh, that was a huge one

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Speaker 1: for me until twenty eighteen. And I've mentioned this on

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Speaker 1: the podcast before, but I had a meltdown, an emotional

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Speaker 1: breakdown in twenty eighteen and That's when I learned the

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Speaker 1: importance of rest, of making that a part of my job.

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Speaker 1: But I used to feel so guilty. It wasn't like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I got a rest. Like it took

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Speaker 1: me a while to really adjust to the idea of

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take two days off and that is okay.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to respond to every message. Before it

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Speaker 1: was like a thing of like, oh my gosh, like

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Speaker 1: obviously responding to messages and everything is important, like I

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Speaker 1: like to be, you know, a polite person and acknowledge people.

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Speaker 1: But there are times where I'm like, I am engrossed

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Speaker 1: in this moment right now. I need to be present

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Speaker 1: and it's okay to respond to people later, it's okay

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Speaker 1: for things to wait. And that took me so long

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Speaker 1: that guilt of just I always felt like I had

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Speaker 1: to be doing something. I felt like if I'm not

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Speaker 1: doing something, then I'm being lazy. And that's something that

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Speaker 1: was embedded in me because my grandpa was like that

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Speaker 1: with his kids. Therefore, my mom was like that with us.

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Speaker 1: My mom was like, it's five in the morning, why

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Speaker 1: aren't you up? Six o'clock is late, and it's good,

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Speaker 1: you know, Like again, there has to be a balance

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Speaker 1: because I enjoy waking up early and getting things done.

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Speaker 1: I'm a morning person, but what if you're not, Like

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Speaker 1: Emidio is not a morning person. Emilio eases his way

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Speaker 1: into the morning and he'll lay in bed for like

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Speaker 1: an hour before he starts his day, and that's okay.

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Speaker 1: I've had to understand that, and that's the way he works,

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Speaker 1: and he works well doing that. I'm different, but for

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Speaker 1: a long time it wasn't the way I'm doing it.

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Speaker 1: Now Now I'm consciously like, I want to wake up

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Speaker 1: at five because I have a schedule, but it's okay.

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Speaker 1: If tomorrow I want to sleep in, that's fine too.

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Speaker 1: I would not sleep in or I did not rest

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Speaker 1: because in the back of my head, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I have to work because the opportunity is here, and

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Speaker 1: I got to get it done because if I don't,

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Speaker 1: then someone else is going to take that opportunity. And like,

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Speaker 1: I got a hustle because the time is now, and

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't allow myself to have that soul space to breathe. Now,

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Speaker 1: I know that whatever's meant for me is meant for me,

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Speaker 1: and no one can take that from me. There's only

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Speaker 1: one of me, and if I need to take three

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Speaker 1: months off of some or take a step back, I

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Speaker 1: need to be okay with that and not feel guilty

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Speaker 1: and not feel like, oh my gosh, someone's gonna take

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Speaker 1: my position, someone's going to like come and be the

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Speaker 1: next whatever. No, I've learned to appreciate the now and

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Speaker 1: really understand what that means and really just be okay

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Speaker 1: with this moment and not worry so much and put

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Speaker 1: so much pressure on myself for tomorrow. So resting is

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Speaker 1: one needing to always be useful, measuring self worth by

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Speaker 1: output to another one never feeling satisfied, never feeling content

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Speaker 1: like again balance because for me, I love the feeling

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Speaker 1: of accomplishment, of finishing something, of getting a goal and

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Speaker 1: accomplishing that. But also there has to be inside of

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Speaker 1: you knowing I am content with where I am right now,

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Speaker 1: like I'm happy. I want this, but I don't need

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Speaker 1: that to be happy. I am happy because I'm happy

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Speaker 1: because I'm happy with who I am, with the person

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Speaker 1: that I am, with what I give to the world.

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Speaker 1: But it's not these materialistic things and all these accomplishments

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Speaker 1: that I need to do in order to feel happy

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Speaker 1: and content. That's another thing that took me a long

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Speaker 1: time to really just understand and really just stop and

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Speaker 1: smell the roses. We've talked about that as well, like

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Speaker 1: really just stopping and smelling the roses and what that

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Speaker 1: whole thing means, and that means really literally, like I

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Speaker 1: said earlier, stop and look at the sky and gaze

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Speaker 1: at the beauty that we have all around us. For

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Speaker 1: a long time, I wouldn't look up, not even when

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Speaker 1: I was praying. Now I go outside, I put my

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Speaker 1: feet on the grass, and I look up and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: thank you for this beauty that I get to see

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Speaker 1: every day. Before I would pray and my head was

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Speaker 1: bowed and my eyes were closed, and I was just

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Speaker 1: like now I'm like open, Like my eyes are open

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Speaker 1: and I'm grateful, and I'm just like in all of

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Speaker 1: all the things that surround us that are free, that

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Speaker 1: are free, and the amount of happiness enjoy that my

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Speaker 1: heart feels. When I do that, I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: a healthier person physically as well since I've been doing that,

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Speaker 1: because I'm taking the time to really care and like

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Speaker 1: really like touch my body. And I did it this morning,

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Speaker 1: realizing again what's important and my body is important. It's

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Speaker 1: what's holding my spirit, and I need to take care

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Speaker 1: of it. The point is that it's finding those moments

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Speaker 1: during the day of just taking deep breaths and slowing

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Speaker 1: down and doing it intentionally, of realizing, Okay, I'm working,

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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful to have this job. I'm so grateful

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Speaker 1: to be able to do everything that I'm doing. But

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Speaker 1: I also have to remember that after a certain time,

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Speaker 1: it's okay for me to turn off my phone and

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Speaker 1: turn off the world and focus on my family and

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Speaker 1: focus on my partner, on my children, on my mother,

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Speaker 1: on my father, on those things that are everlasting, and

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Speaker 1: not just focus on how much I have in my

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Speaker 1: account and how much more I want in my account

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Speaker 1: and AnyWho guys going back to the hustle culture. I'll

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Speaker 1: finish off with the physical effects. Okay, that happened to

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Speaker 1: me personally, and that will definitely, most likely without a doubt,

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Speaker 1: not most likely without a doubt, will happen if we

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Speaker 1: continue on this path of this hustle culture. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: the physical effects, the chronic fatigue, Oh my goodness, did

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Speaker 1: I have the chronic fatigue? And not only chronic fatigue

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Speaker 1: for so long. I could not lose weight because I

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Speaker 1: was so stressed out and I was not giving myself

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Speaker 1: the time to just cleanse and energetically let go of

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Speaker 1: all of this stress because I was working seven days

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Speaker 1: a week and it was just it was causing me

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Speaker 1: a lot of physical fatigue, mental fatigue, and the weight

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Speaker 1: gain was insane. Obviously, I was in a different part

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Speaker 1: of my life as well, and I was in a

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Speaker 1: different relationship and that also affected it. But it's a

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Speaker 1: whole other situation. Obviously, burnout, we had the burnout. The

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Speaker 1: sleep issues. Guys, if your mind is keeping you up

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Speaker 1: guys at night, which for me, my mind was keeping

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Speaker 1: me up a lot. Because we are not taking the

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Speaker 1: time really to take these deep breaths and this time

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Speaker 1: for prayer, and this time to relax our mind or

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Speaker 1: read a book, any type of book before we go

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Speaker 1: to sleep. It's like we constantly like it's like you

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Speaker 1: really need to put your phone to the side and say,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'll answer that tomorrow. I need to

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Speaker 1: just be here and I need to unwind. That's part

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Speaker 1: of unwinding. And if you don't have that unwinding time

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Speaker 1: before you go to sleep, it would be so difficult

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Speaker 1: for you to have a good night's rest and really

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Speaker 1: fall into deep sleep and have the rest that you need,

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Speaker 1: and that's required for you to show up the next

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Speaker 1: day as your best self. Dude, I would sleep four

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Speaker 1: hours a night. It was insane and the way that

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Speaker 1: it was affecting me is crazy. I couldn't even think straight. Also,

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Speaker 1: another one is inflammation in the body, and that's one

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Speaker 1: thing in America, like everyone is overly stressed, and it

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Speaker 1: causes so much disease and so much inflammation. Obviously, the

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Speaker 1: more inflammation in the body, the more disease there is

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Speaker 1: in the body. So it just it's all connected, guys.

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Speaker 1: So that's why it is absolutely imperative that we find

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Speaker 1: this balance in our life and not get stuck in

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Speaker 1: this whole idea of we need to work. And if

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Speaker 1: you don't get up and hustle every single day, like

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Speaker 1: you're never going to accomplish anything. Like I'm sure you will.

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Speaker 1: You definitely will. I'm not saying again hard work is beautiful,

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Speaker 1: but you will burn out and I've seen it time

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Speaker 1: and time again where you're unhappy. And just to close up,

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Speaker 1: remember there's nothing wrong with working hard. It's working hard

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Speaker 1: with intention. That's a word that we use a lot here.

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Speaker 1: Intention Scheduling your rest like you would schedule your meetings.

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Speaker 1: That's what I do now and it does one in

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Speaker 1: my life, having at least one day to simply just

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Speaker 1: be you. I try to do that on Sundays where

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm going to do whatever i want

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Speaker 1: to do today. I'm going to sleep in and let

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Speaker 1: my body wake up today whatever time I want to

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Speaker 1: wake up. Usually it's around seven or eight. I don't

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Speaker 1: really sleep in that much, but I'll take it easy

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm just going to be no plans,

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to do whatever and go wherever my

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Speaker 1: soul says. And listening to your body. Guys, when your

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Speaker 1: body is aching or your body's telling you something, don't

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Speaker 1: ignore it. Please listen to your body. Love your body,

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Speaker 1: hug yourself, and really do your best to treat it

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Speaker 1: as best as you can. Again, we're not always going

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Speaker 1: to get it right, but we can always get back

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Speaker 1: on track with it. So just know that you are

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Speaker 1: valuable even when you're not producing. You don't need to

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Speaker 1: earn rest. You deserve it. It's your god given right.

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Speaker 1: And most importantly, if you take anything from this podcast.

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Speaker 1: Life is meant to be lived, it's not meant to

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Speaker 1: be rushed through. That in itself hopefully sticks with you.

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Speaker 1: And if you need to listen to this episode over

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Speaker 1: and over, do so, because it's going to take a

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Speaker 1: little bit of time to put this into effect. The

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Speaker 1: first step is trying it and it's going to feel

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Speaker 1: a little weird at first, but with time and the

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Speaker 1: more you do it, the more you're going to fall

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Speaker 1: in love with it and it's just going to naturally

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Speaker 1: become part of your life. So just finding that balance

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Speaker 1: and remembering to breathe, to be, remember what truly matters

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, what truly matters to

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Speaker 1: you at the end of the day. So I'm wishing you,

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Speaker 1: guys a best thank you for listening to my episode,

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Speaker 1: and I hope this helps you slow down a little bit,

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Speaker 1: to slow down, to appreciate, to reflect, and to just

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Speaker 1: breathe intentionally. Breathe, Damn. I love that word. Intentional. That's

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Speaker 1: the only way to be. It's intentional in everything that

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Speaker 1: you do. Anyway, guys, this is long enough. Thank you again.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate you, and I will catch you on the

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Speaker 1: next episode of Cheeky's and Chill I Love You, Dude.

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Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network.

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Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Michael Doura Podcasts, then follow

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Speaker 1: me Cheeky's, That's c h i q U i s.

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Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast