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Speaker 1: Now here's a highlight from Coast to coast AM on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: And welcome back, George Nori with you. Mandy ben Belieda

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Speaker 2: back with us as the president and co founder of

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Speaker 2: today's leading online obituary websitemkeeper dot com, and is also

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Speaker 2: the co founder and editor of the death education platform

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Speaker 2: talkdeath dot com. She works with the US Department of

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Speaker 2: Veteran Affairs the National Cemetery Administration on the Veterans Legacy

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Speaker 2: Memorial Project, which memorializes millions of American veterans and was

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Speaker 2: recently featured as an industry innovator by the American Funeral

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Speaker 2: Director's magazine. Mandy, welcome back, have you.

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Speaker 3: Ben, I've been good. Thanks so much for having me, George.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, thank you for what you do.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's very honorable that you pay attention to

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Speaker 2: the dead, and you do it with such class and grace.

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Speaker 2: We really appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, thanks. It's it's honestly, what more an honor

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Speaker 3: for me to be helping families during a time of need. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: it's it's been like a calling and it's been a

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Speaker 3: really amazing experience. The last so it's been eleven years

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Speaker 3: now that I've been doing this type of work.

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Speaker 2: Start.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, it was a really simple experience, probably just like

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Speaker 3: any other that someone experiences when they start a business.

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Speaker 3: I was actually at a cemetery and I was in

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Speaker 3: a mausoleum and there was a glass front niche, which

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Speaker 3: is basically like an area where you'll have an earn

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Speaker 3: and families can put little mementos alongside the urn. And

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Speaker 3: in there there was a photo of the individual that

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Speaker 3: had passed away. There was like a pen, a piece

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Speaker 3: of paper, and then I actually saw a blank CD,

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Speaker 3: you know, like the one from from the nineties Silver CD,

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Speaker 3: and it had the words Dad's work written on it

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Speaker 3: in sharpie and I was super intrigued by that. I've

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Speaker 3: never seen, you know, a CD rom in cemetery before,

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Speaker 3: and I tried to like look up who this person

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Speaker 3: was and try to figure out what could possibly be

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Speaker 3: on that CD, and I couldn't find anything. Of course,

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Speaker 3: you know, this is back in twenty twelve, and it

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Speaker 3: made me realize that this person's legacy, their work was

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Speaker 3: so important to this family and they wanted to not

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Speaker 3: only preserve it, but they wanted to share it with

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Speaker 3: other people. Who were at the cemetery, and it made

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Speaker 3: me realize that we don't have a way to do

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Speaker 3: that today. So what we had done was, you know,

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Speaker 3: we thought, what if you could walk around to cemetery

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Speaker 3: and learn about the life story of every single person

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Speaker 3: when you're at the cemetery. How amazing would that be?

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Speaker 3: And so that's how Keeper was founded. And we actually

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Speaker 3: started out by putting QR codes on monuments and you

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Speaker 3: could just scan a QR code and learn about the

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Speaker 3: person's story and it was a really wonderful project and

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Speaker 3: we're just still doing that today. We actually stopped doing

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Speaker 3: QR codes, but now the pandemic folks love QR codes

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Speaker 3: and we're actually bringing them back funny enough, So that's

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Speaker 3: that's really how howsible of a founding story we have?

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Speaker 2: Do some people leave a dying video for their family

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Speaker 2: and friends.

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Speaker 3: So what's interesting that we're actually kind of really just

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Speaker 3: starting to see more uptick in folks starting to create

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Speaker 3: what we call a living memorial page, and folks are

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Speaker 3: starting to want to preserve and like tell their story

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Speaker 3: and their own words. So it's not something that we

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Speaker 3: saw before as much. And I think it's because a

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Speaker 3: lot of folks in order to initiate saying I'm going

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Speaker 3: to you know, act they sit down and make this video.

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Speaker 3: Unless you're you know, on hospice and you know, you

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Speaker 3: know your time is coming very soon. Folks try not

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Speaker 3: to think about their own mortality, to be perfectly honest,

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Speaker 3: and so we're noticing especially since COVID, which might sound morbid,

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Speaker 3: but after COVID, we actually saw a really big uptick

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Speaker 3: in folks starting to use our living Memorial feature where

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Speaker 3: they can make their own memorial page on our site,

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Speaker 3: and then they can assign someone to be a keeper

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Speaker 3: of the page who's they feel like, an administrator of

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Speaker 3: the page. So then hold on to that account so

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Speaker 3: that when they pass away, they can take it over

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Speaker 3: and publish it. And we actually just launched with the

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Speaker 3: BA the NCA on Veterans Legacy Memorial, which is the

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Speaker 3: site where we host all of the veteran stories. They

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Speaker 3: actually just came out with a Living Veteran feature which

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Speaker 3: comes from that, and so if you are eligible for

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Speaker 3: pre need at a burial at a VA National Cemetery,

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Speaker 3: then you can actually use this feature to tell your

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Speaker 3: own story, share your military history, all of that online

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Speaker 3: before you passed away and then it starts securely with

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Speaker 3: them and then they'll publish it once you pass. While

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Speaker 3: it wasn't popular, is now.

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Speaker 2: No one time, Mandy. When people read newspapers, the obituary

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Speaker 2: column was one of the first places people went.

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Speaker 3: I think that still happens today. I mean, I know

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Speaker 3: that I'm very lucky to still have my grandmother around.

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Speaker 3: And how that changed a little is now she just

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Speaker 3: goes online to her local funeral homes website and she refreshes,

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Speaker 3: you know, every day, every couple of days, and tries

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Speaker 3: to figure out who passed away. I think that that

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Speaker 3: still happens very often. Not as much on the newspaper though,

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Speaker 3: And I think that's just because newspaper obituaries I'm a

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Speaker 3: lot less accessible in that, you know, they're so expensive now.

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Speaker 2: Right, Tell me the difference between my keeper dot com

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Speaker 2: and talkdeath dot com.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, of course. So my keeper dot Com is the

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Speaker 3: online memorial platform where you can create a memorial page

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Speaker 3: for yourself as you just talked about or for love

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Speaker 3: them that's passed away, and it's essentially like a digital

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Speaker 3: lock box of all the memories, the stories, photos, videos, biographies.

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Speaker 3: We even have a tool called like a map story,

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Speaker 3: where you can have a map and put pins all

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Speaker 3: over the map and make a story around that. So

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Speaker 3: all the places that you traveled, or that your loved

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Speaker 3: one traveled, or let's say there were a marathon runner,

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Speaker 3: and you can put pins and all the different locations.

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Speaker 3: So it's just basically a storytelling platform. There's also a

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Speaker 3: full genealogy in family tree feature where you can tell

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Speaker 3: your whole family history and you could even have direct

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Speaker 3: locations to where your loved one is interred at a cemetery,

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Speaker 3: or let's say you scattered their ashes in the ocean.

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Speaker 3: You could put a pin and say this is where

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Speaker 3: we scattered our loved one and people could go there

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Speaker 3: if they would like. And so that's really a platform

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Speaker 3: you built for storytelling and tools. Whereas talpdesk dot com

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Speaker 3: came out of that because we started writing articles. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I honestly was the one that started writing the articles

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Speaker 3: back in twenty thirteen to sort of write about the

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Speaker 3: funeral industry and death care because I realized that as

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Speaker 3: someone who was kind of from the outside coming into

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Speaker 3: this world, there really wasn't a lot of education and

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Speaker 3: information about it, and it was all kind of a

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Speaker 3: mystery to me, and so I wanted to start writing

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Speaker 3: about it to kind of bridge that gap between the

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Speaker 3: public and professionals and the industry. And as I started writing,

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Speaker 3: I actually was writing it you under the Keeper blog

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Speaker 3: before folks just became really interested in it. And so

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Speaker 3: over time it evolved, and you know, we've grown to

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Speaker 3: hundreds of thousands of followers, and we just kind of

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Speaker 3: gave it its own name because it took on its

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Speaker 3: own world. And we just write about different subjects around

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Speaker 3: death and dying, from hosta's care to you know, medicalate

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Speaker 3: and dying to you know, how you can have your

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Speaker 3: own home funeral. But then we dive into more like

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Speaker 3: political subjects as well, and there's it's amazing that in

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Speaker 3: over ten years of writing, we still have so much

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Speaker 3: to talk about. The death and dying experience really is quite.

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Speaker 2: Expansive generally, Mandy, when somebody dies, let's say they die

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Speaker 2: at home, what happens? You call nine to one one,

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Speaker 2: They come and pick up the body. Where do they

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Speaker 2: take it? Then? What happens?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? So I mean if your loved one dies at

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Speaker 3: home very suddenly, of course, the first thing you need

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Speaker 3: to do is call nine one one as soon as possible,

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Speaker 3: and obviously you know, hopefully there's a chance of potentially

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Speaker 3: saving that loved one, and if not, what would have

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Speaker 3: to happen is a corner would have to come to

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Speaker 3: the house and there may be some type of you know,

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Speaker 3: investigation to understand what it happened. Right, So that's more

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Speaker 3: like the hopefully odd scenario where someone passed away suddenly.

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Speaker 3: If let's say you're on hospice and you have the

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Speaker 3: benefit of having home hospice care where you know that

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Speaker 3: you know your time is coming and you've been ill

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Speaker 3: for some time, then when you pass away at home,

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Speaker 3: you know generally you're there will be hospice nurses in

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Speaker 3: the hospital system. You know, they'll know that you're in

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Speaker 3: that process. What I like to say and what you know,

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Speaker 3: folks who there's actually on being called death doulas who

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Speaker 3: you know help and sit bedside with the individual is

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Speaker 3: you don't have to just like panic and call nine

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Speaker 3: one one, Right, this is something that was expected that

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Speaker 3: your loved one was sick. My first recommendation, if it's

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Speaker 3: something that you're comfortable with, is to kind of just

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Speaker 3: sit there with your loved one that's passed away.

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Speaker 2: How long does the body how long does the body

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Speaker 2: stay there?

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Speaker 3: Well, it can stay as long. So it's interesting. You

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Speaker 3: do not have to like have your loved one get

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Speaker 3: scooped up right away and be taken to the funeral

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Speaker 3: home immediately. You don't have to do that. You can

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Speaker 3: stay with them for hours if you would like to,

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Speaker 3: and just hold and just sit visual fit space some

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Speaker 3: space with them for a moment and just to like

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Speaker 3: take that in. But generally it would be the funeral

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Speaker 3: home that would come take up your loved one.

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Speaker 2: Or well, let's go back to let's assume it was

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Speaker 2: a sudden death at home and you didn't have time

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Speaker 2: to pick out a funeral home, then what do you do.

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Speaker 3: Then generally your loved one would be so there may

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Speaker 3: have to be an autopsy, an investigation that's done on

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Speaker 3: your loved one's body. In that case, the corner would

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Speaker 3: come and would take your loved one's body to the

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Speaker 3: morgue and then there would be an autopsy that would

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Speaker 3: be performed and the body would then need to be

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Speaker 3: released to the funeral home. So that's generally what would

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Speaker 3: happen if it was a sudden death.

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Speaker 2: How many people die generally in any given metropolitan city daily.

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Speaker 3: It's a really good question. I don't have a numberrough

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Speaker 3: top of my head, but it's in America. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it's definitely very high. I don't know the actual number

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Speaker 3: on the top of my head.

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Speaker 2: Could it be twenty people a day? Fifty?

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Speaker 3: Oh more than that?

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Speaker 2: Really?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: How many funeral homes are there in a city?

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Speaker 3: I mean in a city, there's definitely a handful. I

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Speaker 3: would really depend on the city. There's like probably about

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Speaker 3: thirty thousand funeral homes in America.

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Speaker 2: At least they're doing good business. I bet their business

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Speaker 2: is not dying, is it.

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Speaker 3: So it's actually interesting. It's you're saying it's not dying,

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Speaker 3: but there's been a huge shift in the funeral industry,

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Speaker 3: and actually in a way that the funeral home industry

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Speaker 3: is not dying, but it's changing a lot. There's first

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Speaker 3: of all, consolidation, consolidation being there's these really large conglomerates

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Speaker 3: that are purchasing all of these sort of bomb and

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Speaker 3: pop funeral homes all over the cost locales. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and they're putting them under these brands and they are

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Speaker 3: consolidating them and running them from a higher you know,

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Speaker 3: from a head office somewhere in the US. But what

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Speaker 3: has really kind of taken in the funeral industry by

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Speaker 3: storm is cremation. So before, when individuals were passing away,

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Speaker 3: I'd probably say maybe fifteen years ago, you were generally

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Speaker 3: having You're generally gone to the funeral home, having a

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Speaker 3: full service. Your loved one would often be in a casket.

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Speaker 3: There would be a viewing of your loved one and

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Speaker 3: they would be embombed, and you'd have a service, maybe

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Speaker 3: some lunch after at the funeral home, and then you

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Speaker 3: would go all travel, travel to the cemetery and bury

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Speaker 3: your loved ones. Now with cremation, that has changed significantly.

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Speaker 2: Do they all have creatoriums?

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Speaker 3: So funeral homes will either have a crematorium that they

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Speaker 3: are associated with. So what happens a lot of the times,

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Speaker 3: which has also created a lot of issues and challenges

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Speaker 3: for some funeral homes that increasingly enough competition will be

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Speaker 3: like one crematory and let's say a city like Seattle,

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Speaker 3: and the funeral homes will employ that create crematory to

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Speaker 3: create the families that they're serving. And some funeral homes

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Speaker 3: though and some some cemeteries will have crematories on site

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Speaker 3: or will own crematories. Different states have different laws, so

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Speaker 3: for example, in New York, you cannot be a cemetery

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Speaker 3: and a funeral home in one a cemetery has to

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Speaker 3: be separate than so it depends on the state law.

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Speaker 2: They don't want a monopoly.

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Speaker 3: I guess they don't want to monopoly, but interestingly, and

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Speaker 3: have monopolies are still happening, But cremation has just completely

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Speaker 3: changed the way that we're having funerals today. Now the

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Speaker 3: biggest shift is what's called direct cremation.

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Speaker 2: So what's cost many.

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Speaker 3: The cremation can cost anywhere from seven hundred dollars to

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Speaker 3: three thousand dollars just for their cremation itself, not counting

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Speaker 3: a specifically nice earn you know that comes with a

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Speaker 3: free urn or a lower cost earn. No service, you know,

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Speaker 3: there's transportation involved transporting your loved one's body from home

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Speaker 3: from the more to the crematory. So that's like a

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Speaker 3: really basic service, and it's actually competition for who can

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Speaker 3: have the cheapest cremation.

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Speaker 2: But I saw a movie where they put the ashes

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Speaker 2: in a coffee cup and the guy accidentally took the

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Speaker 2: coffee home and drank it.

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Speaker 3: Oh my job. Honestly, it's gotten to that point where

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Speaker 3: folks are like, just cremate me and just like throw

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Speaker 3: my ashes in the sea. I don't care like.

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Speaker 2: Our I mean, it's got to be expensive. How much

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Speaker 2: is a casket a good basket?

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Speaker 3: I mean the average price probably for a good casket

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Speaker 3: is around three thousand dollars. But I don't know if

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Speaker 3: you know this or if any of your listeners know this,

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Speaker 3: and the funeral homes listening will be not very happy

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Speaker 3: with me. Is that you can actually buy your casket

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Speaker 3: at like Costco Costco self caskets, and the funeral home,

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Speaker 3: by law, needs to accept the casket that you purchased,

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Speaker 3: even if you purchased it outside of the funeral.

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Speaker 2: So you buy the casket, you buy the lot for

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Speaker 2: the funeral, for the burial. How much does a headstone cost?

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Speaker 3: Headstones range from probably another like three to obviously you

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Speaker 3: can go as high as ten thousand dollars if you'd like.

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Speaker 3: There's very if there's a range for everything, right, But

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Speaker 3: you know, the cheapest casket you can probab by today

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Speaker 3: is about one thousand dollars. And there are certain headstones

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Speaker 3: that are more like footstones. So they're like small, smaller

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Speaker 3: kind of plaques that go flush with the ground, and

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Speaker 3: those will be less expensive as well. But it also

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Speaker 3: depends on the cemetery you go to.

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Speaker 2: Now, what is a cost at the funeral home.

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Speaker 3: So the average, like full service funeral in the US today,

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Speaker 3: you're probably looking at around ten thousand.

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Speaker 2: Dollars the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: The whole thing. Yeah, and no, sorry, that does not

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Speaker 3: include the plot. Generally, the plot. It's kind of like

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Speaker 3: the plots like real estate, right, the plot will really

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Speaker 3: depend on the cemetery and the location of the cemetery,

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Speaker 3: et cetera. So plots are always considered separate than the

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Speaker 3: full service. A full service funeral would be all of

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Speaker 3: the services of the funeral home and funeral director gives you,

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Speaker 3: which I have to say, you know, it's a lot

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Speaker 3: more work than folks expect. They used to work as

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Speaker 3: a funeral director's assistant and I work at a funeral home.

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Speaker 3: It's a lot of work. It's a lot of service.

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Speaker 3: So know that if you are working with, you know,

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Speaker 3: a reputable funeral home, you are going to get but service.

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Speaker 3: And that's the most important part of that. I know.

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Speaker 2: When my father died thirteen years ago. He was a

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Speaker 2: World War Two veteran and the Veteran Affairs brought him

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Speaker 2: a flag and gave it to my mother. That was classy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, the VA, and I don't think a lot

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Speaker 3: of veterans realize that benefits that the VA can offer.

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Speaker 3: I don't know it in a ton of detail, but

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Speaker 3: you know, between they can there's like a VA head

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Speaker 3: so you can choose like a private cemetery. Let's say

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Speaker 3: there's a cemetery that is meaningful to your family, you

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Speaker 3: can go there, and then the VA can, if you're eligible,

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Speaker 3: send you a marker, so they'll pay for the marker,

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Speaker 3: they'll provide you with fund to have the funeral you

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Speaker 3: can have, uh, you know even obviously of course the

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Speaker 3: intern at one of the national cemeteries, which I'm sure

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Speaker 3: so many of your listeners have been like, they're beautiful.

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