WEBVTT - THROWBACK INTERVIEW: Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Candace Kelley & Weusi Baraka On The N-Word, Vulnerability, New Podcast + More 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:05.280 Wake that ass up in the morning, The Breakfast Club Morning. 0:00:05.280 --> 0:00:08.760 Everybody is the j n V. Just Hilaris Charlamage the guy. 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:11.520 We are the Breakfast Club. We got some special guests 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:14.800 in the building from the Not All Hood podcast. We 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:18.840 have Malcolm Jamore Warner where you see Baraka and Candice Kelly. 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:21.560 Welcome, Thank you, Hey, good to see you. 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:24.120 How the brothers and sister feeling good? 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:25.000 Life is good? 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:26.080 Yeah, good morning. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:28.920 Yeah, that's about here, y'all just moved into. 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:33.360 It was the first interview in our new studio. That's right. Wow, man, 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:35.680 I love the name Not All Hood? 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:36.600 Nah. 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:37.960 Who came up with that? 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:38.880 That was what you'll see? 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.600 Yeah, I don't even remember for real, for real, Like 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.120 I was just like, uh nah, Like Malcolm and I 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:48.680 have been talking about just the concept of the podcast 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:53.040 and how the diversity and who we are and also 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:57.040 who we're not, right, So I was like, nah. 0:00:57.720 --> 0:01:00.319 Nah, Yeah, it feels like that was some I say, 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:01.960 all black people from the hood. 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:04.560 Nah exactly? 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:07.680 Is it that where a lot of people come from 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:10.920 poor and disenfranchised environments, but we are not our environment? 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:14.720 Like it's just that we come from a bunch of 0:01:14.720 --> 0:01:17.360 different environments, you know, and I feel like, you know, 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:20.080 a lot of media to portraying us either like your 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:25.039 hip hop, you're your hip hop or pop culture right, 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:27.080 you know, and now we're more than that. 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:30.520 It's funny that you actually said that, Charlotmane, because I 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:33.720 grew up in I grew up in La in the 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:39.880 jungle wow. And my mother used to say to me, Malcolm, 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:43.080 we live in the jungle, We're not of the jungle. 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:48.400 So she was very clear on me having my sights 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.640 further than just my neighborhood, which is why she put 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:54.160 me in theater. And it was always trying to find 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:57.360 things for me to do to keep me, you know, 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:00.360 from just going to school and just hanging out, you know. 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:04.120 But it was that it was a certain mindset that 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:06.680 you know, she instilled in me, like Okay, yeah, we're here, 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:08.480 but you know, this doesn't have to define us. 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:13.520 And you know what, we are often recognized before we 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:16.280 enter into any room and judge right, and sometimes you 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:19.080 get the question that you know means you really don't 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:19.720 belong here. 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:21.640 So when that comes in. 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:22.240 Can help you? 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:22.480 Yeah? 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:22.720 Yeah? 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:22.840 Right? 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:23.560 Can I help you? 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:23.799 Right? 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:24.040 Right? 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.120 Can I help you? Or have I seen you be 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:29.000 here here before? Or what are you doing in this neighborhood? 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:30.600 Yes, that's right. One, that's the one. 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:33.280 Right, What are you doing this neighbor This is my neighborhood. 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:34.160 Why are you here? 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:34.440 Yeah? 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:35.640 Why are you jogging here? 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:35.959 Right? 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:37.480 That you know that you just happened to my father. 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:39.600 He would jog in the neighborhood and all the white 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.080 neighbors would stop him when we first moved in, and 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:44.359 they would keep on stopping him. This back in the seventies. 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:46.960 So he finally just went to the police station and said, 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:49.280 I just need to introduce myself so that when you 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:51.880 guys stopped me, you know who you are, and it stopped. 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:54.720 But that's kind of an example of what it means 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:57.440 when people perceive you beforehand, and what you have to 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.440 do to go outside of the box to keep improving 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:02.560 who you are over and over again. So this really 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:05.839 is just an ongoing conversation that we have, Malcolm, let's 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:08.280 call a safe space, which it is just to say 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:13.400 really what we want about anything about our experiences in America. 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:15.160 And that's really kind of key to it too. We 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:17.440 have people that are from diverse backgrounds, whether they're from 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:21.440 the Caribbean or whether they're from all you know, Africa, 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:24.720 but you come to America and there's kind of a 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:26.799 thread And those are the types of stories that we're 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:30.600 sharing to really change this mass narrative that's already out 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:31.240 there about us. 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:32.560 Creator shift is. 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:35.080 A term hood negative though when people say hood sometimes 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:37.520 it comes off as negative. I don't take it as 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:39.000 a negative term. Is it a negative term? 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:39.200 No? 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.960 And I think, you know, part of the you know, 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:44.680 the idea of not all hood is hood is not 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:48.240 a negative term. Hood is part of the community. Like 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:52.440 when we speak of the black community, we always tend 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:54.760 to refer to it as if it's a monolist that's right, 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:58.200 but they are all these different lanes to the black community, 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:02.040 all these levels, all these different lanes, and oftentimes we 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:06.480 don't have a space where we can actually, you know, discuss, 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:09.960 acknowledge and deal with with all of those levels, all 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:12.240 those lanes. So the hood is not a bad thing. 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:14.680 We're not all you know, we're not Yes, we are hood, 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:17.640 but we're not all hood. And the media, and I 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:20.680 think part of it is the media tends to put 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:24.040 more focus on one aspect of the black community. Thus 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:28.279 we get all the stereotypes and preconceived ideas. 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:31.599 And hood comes from like neighborhood, neigh right, and Dayla 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:34.120 said it. You know, they called the hood because we're 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:35.920 not neighbors anymore, you know what I mean, a lot 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:38.599 of times we're not communicating with each other, right, but 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.000 we we're trying to change that. 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:43.400 I did get that question a lot though you have 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.680 been a podcast. Isn't hood negative? 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:47.880 So I understand where you're coming from. But just like 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:50.800 they said, it's a neighborhood. I mean, I live in 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:53.800 a place where I'm next to a lot of Indian neighborhood, 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:57.040 Indian neighborhood, Jewish neighborhood. 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:59.599 You can still call it the hood. People also associate 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:00.120 the word. 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:04.160 Hood we're just us, which really, yeah, we're black. 0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:05.920 So it's just one of those things. 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:09.680 It's kind of some damage that the media, the pop culture, 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:12.400 the news has done and really trying to define who 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:12.720 we are. 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:15.279 Yeah, I never took it as negative. It was always 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:16.720 going back to the hood, to mean, I'm going back 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:19.160 home to my neighborhood, right exactly wherever it was. I'm 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:21.479 going to play basketball in the hood, which was my neighborhood. 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:23.000 You know, I mean, I never took it as oh 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:24.719 my gosh, it's a place. No, I never took it 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:26.800 at that. I know a lot of people do, but 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:28.440 that was always just like going home, you know. 0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:31.040 Yeah, yeah, And you know, we were talking about this yesterday. 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.960 That also when we talk about being African American, we 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.920 talk about the trauma that's associated, like that's really all. 0:05:37.000 --> 0:05:37.200 You know. 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:39.599 We have diabetes and high blood pressure and we're dying 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:46.039 and the infomortality rate. But we're happy people too. But 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.039 we make it to the news when it's bad. You know, 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.760 we may often make it to the news when it's bad. 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:54.680 And so that's another thing that I think this podcast does, 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:56.640 I think for the three of us, is just show 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:01.120 the joy and what it's like being black and because 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:03.279 of the things that are going out there in this 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:04.360 twenty twenty. 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:07.720 Four Lord, every yeah, how did the three of you 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:10.600 all come together? How did y'all get together? We will 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:14.359 do the left yo, everything on you. 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:16.480 Right? 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:19.560 What you SA and I have been friends for she's 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:21.560 for a minute, a long minute. 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:22.279 Twenty plus years. 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.960 We used to both be at the National Back Theater 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:30.120 Festival in Winstern, Salem and where you and I met 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:33.600 in nineteen ninety nine and we had put on the 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:38.880 first poetry jam there and that turned out to be 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:41.600 one of the biggest attractions at the theater. We used 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:44.160 to call the midnight Poetry Jam. So after you know, 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:50.320 all day of theater, you know, in every imaginable performance 0:06:50.360 --> 0:06:54.640 space in the city, then people would come back to 0:06:54.800 --> 0:06:57.840 the to our venue and we would pack out at 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.920 midnight poetry Jam. It would just be open mic starting 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.160 at midnight and we'd go to like two two thirty. 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:07.320 And it was a big attraction, Yeah festival, and then 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:11.480 we just kept hanging out yeah Yeah. And then I 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:15.080 know link with Cannis from I was doing sort of 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:22.160 community organizing and sort of it was a a event with. 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:25.480 Ye Yeah. 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:31.480 In Morris Town, New Jersey, and we connected there just 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:34.920 sort of yeah linked And when macol I decided we 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.160 were going to do this podcast, we're like, yeah, we 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:38.720 need some different voices. 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:40.480 In yeah. 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:41.080 Yeah. 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:42.680 And I do a lot of work, a lot of 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:45.600 commentating on various mostly legal cases. I feel in for 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:50.040 Roland Martin to Roland Martin unfiltered, and so I'm always 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:52.160 running my mouth and when I got on with them, 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:54.320 I think I ran my mouth for them to say. 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:56.440 You know what, you want to keep talking with us. 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:58.320 I was like, I actually do. 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.320 So, you know, really in that first conversation, we talked 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:05.400 about anything from and word to talking to music. I mean, 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:06.960 we were just on for a long time and it's 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:09.880 just a nice everybody was testifying, you know what I. 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:10.680 Mean, it really was. 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:12.840 It was just a good way to connect and get 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:14.680 to know each other. And the conversation has been going 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:15.320 on ever since. 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:19.480 But the dope things. When Way and I first started talking, 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:24.400 we're both older fathers. So the initial idea was to 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:27.320 do a podcast from the perspective of older black fathers. 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.680 So when we first met with Candis, it was as 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:31.720 a producer. 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:33.200 Yeah, to produce this show, that's right. 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:35.160 And then we had that meeting, was like, you know, 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:37.360 ninety minutes, this is the show. 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:40.120 Yeah, We're like, we need to add candas as a 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:43.680 host and expand the concept from just you know, the 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:44.880 black father perspective. 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:46.880 And it turned into yeah, and. 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:48.319 I think your wife because your wife is in the 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:49.719 background like that. 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:52.839 Yeah, what are some of the topics you guys will 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:53.920 be discussing. 0:08:55.160 --> 0:09:03.480 Black fatherhood an older fathers with younger children? 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:05.600 Yeah, how you guys handling that? 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:10.840 Yo? What did yours old your youngest so youngest. Only 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.040 we only have one because I got. 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.880 A two year old Sol, and then I got a twenty. 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:16.200 Two year old. 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:21.840 Fifty three, I got a nine year old. 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:23.680 I got six, he got four. 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:26.240 I'll be forty six and a couple of weeks my 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:27.199 youngest two. 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:28.760 I got a two year old, five year old, eight 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:30.440 year old, and fifteen. 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:30.760 Yeah. 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.720 Yeah, so y'all started around when we started. 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:35.959 Yeah, I'm fifty three and my daughter just turned seven. 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:37.640 Okay, okay, so. 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:41.199 You'll have a conversation we're talking about, you know what 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:45.360 I mean, those those days where they be on, on, 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:47.319 go go, you know what I mean, and you gotta 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:49.959 just wrap your energy up and and make it happen, 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:50.400 you know what I mean. 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:51.080 Crazy you say that. 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:52.920 My homeboy told me that a long time ago, beause 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:55.480 you know, all my homeboys had kids way younger. 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:56.640 Than I did, right, And they was like, man, you 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:58.880 wait till you thirty plus forty to have kids. You're 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.400 gonna be running around you need he's gonna be hurting, Like, no, 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:04.920 he won't. Yes, they are exactly, but that. 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:06.080 Doesn't some good come with that? 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:09.120 You being older, so speak yeah, you know, being a 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:12.640 father and not being twenty one I've been having growth 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:13.840 yourself that you have to go through. 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.320 Oh yeah, my last my two youngest get a version 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:20.200 of me that did not exist ten years ago. 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:21.080 Ten years ago. 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:26.440 You know, I spent more of my adult life in 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:29.520 long term relationship, more years of my adult life in 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:33.760 long term relationships than not. And my wife and I 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:36.680 have been together eight and a half years and not 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:39.280 more than two days go by that I don't give 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:43.119 thanks to the universe forgiving me the wisdom and fortitude 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:45.040 to have waited as long as they did. A lot 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:47.160 of people are like, he's never gonna get married, And 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:48.800 I think at some point I probably thought. 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:51.400 Like we said, have these conversations like yo, they looking 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.640 at us like we you know, damnage goods like to mean, 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:56.960 you thirty done and you don't got no kids? Not married? 0:10:57.840 --> 0:10:58.560 He got a problem? 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:00.760 Yeah, I mean, it's the best thing, and for me, 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:01.640 it's the best thing I could have been. 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:03.679 I would not have I definitely would not have been 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:07.800 as effective a husband and father had I done this 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:09.640 any earlier with anybody else. 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:12.040 That is such a great conversation you never hear men 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.280 have Like that's a conversation you always hear, you know, 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:18.000 women have, but so you actually waited like you were 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:19.160 actually waiting for the right. 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:28.640 Know how many bullets. 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:33.160 I've been since thirteen on TV, since thirteen, you know, 0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:37.800 I neoled my way out of a lot. 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.920 At your circumstance was different, though, because you didn't know 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:41.760 if people wanted to be with you all they wanted 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:42.720 to be with you. 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:43.640 Know what I mean? 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:45.960 There was that because I've been doing it for so long, 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:50.320 I've been really blessed with a great sense of discerning, 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.559 So that was never my issue. 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:55.199 To be completely transparent. 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.320 My thing about marriage was like, yo, I'm not getting 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:00.920 married and then given a chick half of my stuff 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:05.120 because I messed up. So I was very clear that 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.160 even though there were situations that you know, we're really 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:12.079 you know, pressuring if you will, you know, like that 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.840 kind of marriage, I was like nah, because I knew me. 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.040 I knew that I wasn't going to because I wasn't 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:21.960 I wasn't given half of my trap because because I messed. 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:22.520 Up about you. 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:27.600 It was about just being patient, like I know me, 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.400 and I know that, like everybody's gonna be able to 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:34.640 deal with me. As a community organizer who like really 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:37.120 understands that the people around me that are close to 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.360 me are gonna be okay. My work in life is 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:42.160 to make sure that other people are gonna be okay. 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:45.080 So sometimes I'm I'm a little hard on them people 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:46.800 that are close. Right, I'm gonna get out and like 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:48.679 they're gonna have to take a back seat sometimes. Right, 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.720 That was part of it. And the big part is 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:54.839 like raising my child, the idea of like me getting 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:55.800 married and having a child. 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:57.520 You gotta be. 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:02.160 Special, man, where you gots to be special? So I 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:03.119 love you, Shelley. 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.400 With one show where we have these two and Lamar 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:10.240 Rutcker and I just sit back and I listen. It's 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.280 like there could be some people that are taking notes, 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.840 some women that are taking notes because they really I 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.280 was like, this is some good, Like you said, I 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:21.920 don't hear that a lot, just talking about fatherhood and 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:25.320 just the humility and how proud they are and then 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:27.360 all the rules and lessons that they learned in a. 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:29.040 Long way when they were dating. 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:30.120 Yeah. 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:32.080 Yeah, it really was no taking moment. 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:32.480 It was good. 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:34.800 You guys have boys or girls? Girls? 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:36.400 Oh yeah, yeah, girl. 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:38.040 I said that was kind of suspect. 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:41.880 Girls different different, it's way different. 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:44.839 He has four girls I got four girls. 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.439 You know, I love it. Yeah yeah, I love it, 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:48.320 and I deserve it. 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:53.080 You know, they say, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:56.120 All of it. How does that change you? Having girls? 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:58.240 I got four girls, Charlamagne's four girls, How does that 0:13:58.320 --> 0:13:59.360 change you as a father? 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:01.959 I got two off, but some girls changing. 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:06.560 So I asked the universe for a girl first. So 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:11.000 even before, even before conception, we were very clear we 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:13.280 were having a girl. And I know that I needed 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:15.679 a girl first to kind of ease me into it 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.280 because I've you know, I'm I have a pretty good 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:20.360 idea of what kind of father I would be. So 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:24.400 I needed a girl to kind of you know, slow 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:26.880 me down and and and warm and softs me up, 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:35.520 if you will. So for me raising my daughter, I 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:40.960 came into fatherhood already with a certain maturity and uh, 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:48.000 you know, certain understanding of male female dynamics, you know, 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:51.280 and with a girl, all of that starts with the father. 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.120 So I've always since she came, since I literally pulled 0:14:55.120 --> 0:15:01.720 her out of my wife, I've been focused on, you know, 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:06.400 instilling in her the kind of love that she is 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:08.440 not going to have to go out in the world 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:12.720 and try to find, treating her with a level of 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:20.880 respect at nine months old, that she will that that 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:22.200 that kind of loves normalized. 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:23.320 Right. 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:28.040 That's always been my biggest thing. Like we see these 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:31.080 girls out here who don't have a great relationships with 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.600 the fathers, and you know, through our lifetimes we've been 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:38.680 with a lot of them, Right, So I knew that 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:43.240 the for me, the biggest gift that I can give 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:46.720 my daughter is a sense of self so when she 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:50.320 goes out into the world, she is not easily influenced 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:54.880 by her surroundings. So since she was like two years old, 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:57.160 you know, someone says to her, Oh, you're so pretty, 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:59.920 you're so cute, You're so beautiful, She'll say thank you. 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:00.880 When I'm smart too. 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:01.920 That's how we run it. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:05.640 That's the normalization I want her to have. 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:07.680 In terms of how she sees herself in characters. 0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:11.320 Absolutely, you see, yeah, same thing, Like you know, it's 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:17.600 a it's a humbling space. Giving my daughter like a 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:21.400 different kind of vocabulary that's empowering to her so that 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:25.440 when she interacts, she knows she she walks and talks 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:26.360 from posician power. 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:31.080 Absolutely, you know, yet, hold on, can you speak of 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:31.440 that candid? 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:33.680 Yeah, Yeah, I come from a family of three girls. 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:37.960 And my father, I mean really just the king of 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.120 all things. They know all about my father. I told 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:42.040 a story already today about my father, you know what 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:44.640 I mean. So that is very infused in me and 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:46.400 my mother too, don't get me wrong, but since we're 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:50.080 talking about fathers, all everything that he poured into me, 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.840 and you know, sometimes you're doing something and you're like, oh, 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:55.280 that's my dad, what I did right there, that's my mom. 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:58.080 Like you can you know when they've poured into it, 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:01.200 when you see you doing things that are just like 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:03.480 what they did, and you don't even realize it. So 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.400 you don't even realize what the kids see and don't see. 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.360 But really, my parents really allowed me to see all 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.320 of the right things they really did, and parents generally 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:15.760 are always right, I mean really like it might be 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:17.760 twenty years down the line we. 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:23.359 Try and my daughter reminds me that bye bye. 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:26.040 Maybe not Yeah. 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:26.640 Yeah. 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:31.240 It really is powerful to have a powerful father, to 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:34.200 have a presence all the time, even when they're gone, 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:35.240 still there. 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:39.800 I think the funniest thing for girl dads is humbling, right, 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:43.199 meaning I was never in the cheerleading, a dance or 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.719 any of those sports. But now when I take my 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:54.400 daughters today, better get out, not be doing a dance mood. 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:55.200 Right. 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:57.160 It takes you out of that that ego place where 0:17:57.160 --> 0:18:00.440 it's like now I'm gonna talk that now, right, I'm safty. 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:01.080 Yeah yeah. 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.840 I think when my daughter was born, I found myself. 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:07.879 Like crying all the time, went over like just simple 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:10.160 ship be like I had that touches me. 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:17.560 Like baby feet and baby dimples. 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:21.919 I was like, what is Oh, they're so cute? 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:25.680 Man, opened up a whole other world. 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:29.360 It's probably a stupid question. Way, but you hate poetry, 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:30.240 you laugh thing baracca? 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:30.720 You related? 0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:34.480 No relation? No wow, no relation. 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:39.600