Speaker 1: I just want to say, moms are the friggin' best.
Speaker 1: I was on vacation and I walked onto the beach
Speaker 1: where Brynn was laying out, and she said to me,
Speaker 1: this man came over to me and was like asking
Speaker 1: me my name and where I went to school and
Speaker 1: all this stuff. And I guess he was trying to
Speaker 1: do like a play date with his child. Meaning on vacation.
Speaker 1: We're going to get into that people are so desperate
Speaker 1: and need to make plans for their kids and it's
Speaker 1: just not it.
Speaker 2: And I'll explain because I.
Speaker 1: Screwed up, but so I believe that the man was
Speaker 1: trying to make a plan for his child, but I
Speaker 1: don't trust a man. And I walked over to the
Speaker 1: chair and she was telling me the story, and another mom,
Speaker 1: like this blonde mom walked up to me and she goes,
Speaker 1: there was a man who walked up to your daughter
Speaker 1: and it was not appropriate. And brim I was like,
Speaker 1: she was just telling me that, and the mom's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like that was not appropriate. So we got you and
Speaker 1: it was just like this community just like it's just
Speaker 1: the mom. You know, moms are the nosiest, yendahest bitches alive.
Speaker 1: But thank God, because you know, they're scoping it out.
Speaker 1: They're on vacation. This is their time. They got to
Speaker 1: fucking figure out everything. It's going out with everybody. They
Speaker 1: got to have their three drinks in at home, they're
Speaker 1: doing laundry, they're taking their kids to school, they're ripping
Speaker 1: their hair out. Their roots are you know, fucking silver.
Speaker 1: They're just trying to hang on by a thread. They're
Speaker 1: on vacation and they got they just want to like
Speaker 1: let loose, and part of that is like gossiping and
Speaker 1: watching what's going on in other people's lounge chairs, you know,
Speaker 1: And you see the hostility come through overall on a
Speaker 1: vacation because people just like you know, people get a
Speaker 1: little crazy. It's like they're getting a little crazy because
Speaker 1: they're not quite used to this new environment of relaxation.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I digress because I'm gonna get into that
Speaker 1: story about this lunatic by the beach. But this woman
Speaker 1: came up and she was like, we got you. And
Speaker 1: I just love that mom community that like mama bear
Speaker 1: cub community.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I was on the plane coming home and Brynn was
Speaker 1: behind me, and the woman sitting next to her said
Speaker 1: do you want to sit near her? Like she just
Speaker 1: knew and but she herself, I guess her kids were
Speaker 1: back in first class. She was so happy to be
Speaker 1: away from her kids after a week. She's like, I
Speaker 1: have a fifteen year old daughter and you know her
Speaker 1: her hair was falling out too, after a vacation with
Speaker 1: her kids. So you can't win for losing because she
Speaker 1: went a way to relax and as she was with
Speaker 1: her kids for a week, so she doesn't know what
Speaker 1: to do. She wants to go back to doing laundry
Speaker 1: to relax after a vacation with her kids. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's just rough going, like being on a plane and
Speaker 1: you got your kids in the back. But like there
Speaker 1: was like a mom no, like she was looking to
Speaker 1: be with my kid, and she was just like you
Speaker 1: just speaking a language. It only a mom understands. So
Speaker 1: I got to give a shout out to that mom
Speaker 1: come up and being like it was inappropriate that a
Speaker 1: man is talking to your child. And by the way,
Speaker 1: he could have been wanting to set up a play
Speaker 1: day for his kid. Nobody gives a good fuck and
Speaker 1: it's touching story. Man, don't come talk to my child
Speaker 1: unless I'm present. It's just fucked up and creepy. And
Speaker 1: we live in too fucked up a world that a
Speaker 1: man cannot walk up to my child, much less in
Speaker 1: a turquoise bikini looking like a tan young goddess on
Speaker 1: you know, the beach, because you know, a fourteen year
Speaker 1: old could be an eighteen year old. Just stay the
Speaker 1: fuck away from my kid, any person, like frankly, any man,
Speaker 1: stay the fuck away from my kid. So now on
Speaker 1: to the story about like kids and play dates, et cetera.
Speaker 1: So it is a fine line between your kid not
Speaker 1: wanting to be lonely on vacation and like now being
Speaker 1: trapped with other people. So we were going on this
Speaker 1: last minute vacation Brennan I three nights in Turks and Caicos.
Speaker 1: Real impulsive, just like, let's do something we never do.
Speaker 1: Let's just not have it planned, let's just go together,
Speaker 1: get on a plane tomorrow and let's just do it.
Speaker 1: It was very exciting for both of us. It was bonding,
Speaker 1: It was amazing.
Speaker 2: So we went.
Speaker 1: So the first day in we were paddle warning and
Speaker 1: after relaxing all day because I said to her, I'll
Speaker 1: see you in three days as a joke, meaning like
Speaker 1: this is not like we're we go in this, go
Speaker 1: into the town, Let's go look at this, Let's go
Speaker 1: do that, let's go hang gliding, let's do I was like,
Speaker 1: this is called Mommy's laying on a lounge chair drooling
Speaker 1: and I'll see you in three days, which, of course
Speaker 1: isn't what happens. We end up swimming and going to
Speaker 1: nice dinners and having a great time. But like, I
Speaker 1: don't want any obligations. This is not the activation trip.
Speaker 1: This is not Costa Rica zipline and take a jungle tour,
Speaker 1: you know, put the mud masks all over our body,
Speaker 1: see the fucking monkeys.
Speaker 2: This is not that. This is like land, you goddamn ass.
Speaker 2: You wanted to go. We agreed to go.
Speaker 1: We could have gone to the Hamptons and gone ice
Speaker 1: skating and sledding and all that shit.
Speaker 2: Instead we decided to go to Turk.
Speaker 1: So enjoy the water, see you in a couple of days.
Speaker 1: And I have a very good kid at just being alone.
Speaker 1: Like she's just a very independent soul. She's like an artist.
Speaker 1: She likes to be free. She likes to go swim,
Speaker 1: she likes to collect shells, she likes to snorkele, she's
Speaker 1: the greatest. We're both loaners and it's great, but we
Speaker 1: like to be together like loaners together. So by this
Speaker 1: dame token, she would be having a different fun time
Speaker 1: if she had a kid, and it's really different because
Speaker 1: then at the end of a occasion, she starts to
Speaker 1: get sad because she didn't really get to bond with
Speaker 1: me if there were other people around. So she likes
Speaker 1: to have like one day with another kid, but ultimately
Speaker 1: she doesn't like too many. She gets sick of people
Speaker 1: after sleepovers and stuff like that. Okay, so we're paddleboarding
Speaker 1: in the afternoon, and I'm so trained from when they're
Speaker 1: young you just want to like connect.
Speaker 2: Oh, Jeremy's for and Brin's for too.
Speaker 1: Yay, they can be best friends for the next three
Speaker 1: days and you know, do collor spin art. But now
Speaker 1: she's like a teen and people are cool and they're
Speaker 1: not cool, and you like them and you don't like them.
Speaker 1: So there's a kid and now they're into the boys.
Speaker 1: So like, I don't know exactly what's cute, what's not cute,
Speaker 1: what's dork, what's not dork? Like I kind of do,
Speaker 1: but I also always tell her to be kind and
Speaker 1: someone could be not cool and they don't get to
Speaker 1: hang out with anybody. That was Once she was invited
Speaker 1: to about Mitzvah. It was someone She's not really good
Speaker 1: friends with them, but like I could tell by the
Speaker 1: vibe that like the kid, you know, she thinks he
Speaker 1: thinks she's popular and pretty cool. And so like he
Speaker 1: invited her, and I said, just go, It'll make his life.
Speaker 1: Like I know, you're not friends with them, you don't
Speaker 1: want to go, It doesn't matter you said you were
Speaker 1: gonna go.
Speaker 2: He's probably excited. You never know.
Speaker 1: If like he's excited you were coming in, it's going
Speaker 1: to ruin his day and you just do.
Speaker 2: Just be compassionate and just go.
Speaker 1: So we were in the water and there was this
Speaker 1: dad that we were talking to, and there was this kid.
Speaker 1: He was like fourteen, and he looked cute enough, and
Speaker 1: the dad was like, Oh, yeah, he's dying to go
Speaker 1: tubing and he's dying to do all this stuff because
Speaker 1: his siblings are older. And I'm thinking, oh great, it's
Speaker 1: someone BRIT's age. She's friends with cool kids, she's friends
Speaker 1: with dorky kids, she's friends with everybody. She's an equal
Speaker 1: opportunity friender, and she likes quirky people. She likes unusual
Speaker 1: Napoleon Dynamite types. So now she's sort of I go, great, Brun,
Speaker 1: I'll go on the tube because she always likes the tube,
Speaker 1: Like what's not to like the tube? But like I
Speaker 1: could tell she sort of maybe didn't almost want to go.
Speaker 1: So then I said, Okay, do you not want to go?
Speaker 2: She's like, no, I'll go.
Speaker 1: I don't know if she thought like maybe it would
Speaker 1: be an adventure and she might like it, or she
Speaker 1: felt guilty because I'd said it. I'd don't know why,
Speaker 1: but you said i'll go. So then she went and
Speaker 1: I said to the guy, I'll pay for half of it.
Speaker 1: He said, i'll get it, you can get tomorrow. I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh god, now we have tomorrow. So she went, and
Speaker 1: then after I think she like you know, said I
Speaker 1: have to now go over to the pool with him.
Speaker 1: And I went back to the room for a while,
Speaker 1: and then she didn't come back for a long time.
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, she's having fun. She met other kids,
Speaker 1: who knows. So then it was like hours later and
Speaker 1: I got scared because she was just at the pool
Speaker 1: like feet away from the room.
Speaker 2: But I just was like, where's this kid? So she
Speaker 2: came back. She like, I felt bad. I didn't want
Speaker 2: to leave.
Speaker 1: Like what, No, you're on vacation, Like you're not obligated
Speaker 1: to stay like and talk to anybody.
Speaker 2: She's like, I know, I just felt bad.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, so long story short, this kid's and
Speaker 1: the kid's father like kept, you know, chumming up with us,
Speaker 1: like hey.
Speaker 2: Where's Brnn and where are you and where are you
Speaker 2: gonna be?
Speaker 1: And now like on vacation with people that I don't know,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, we're now like aligned.
Speaker 1: And the cautionary tale is like it's great for you
Speaker 1: to want your kids to meet people, but like then
Speaker 1: you can get into a situation where, like trying to
Speaker 1: enter the Witness Protection program on vacation, you're making up stories.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, we have malaria, you know, Brenna Scurvey,
Speaker 1: she can't come out, like so she's like hiding half
Speaker 1: the vacation from people. So I don't know, you got
Speaker 1: to kind of let kids do their own thing. Like
Speaker 1: it's not a great idea when they're thirteen for parents
Speaker 1: to get involved in like who they're gonna meet on vacation.
Speaker 1: I almost think it's better for them just be annoying
Speaker 1: and lonely than aligning with the wrong kids, because then
Speaker 1: you might feel like you're on vacation with their parents.
Speaker 2: And I've had it too. You get excited in the.
Speaker 1: Beginning of a weekend and you like, you know, people
Speaker 1: are talking to you, and.
Speaker 2: Everyone thinks it's fun.
Speaker 1: And then you're like, all right, we're not on vacation
Speaker 1: with you, like we're doing our own thing. So vacations
Speaker 1: at hotels that aren't gigantic, and even ones that are gigantic.
Speaker 1: And I say that because like a kiddie pool, you know,
Speaker 1: if you have little kids, the kiddie pool, even at
Speaker 1: a gigantic hotel, becomes real small and you meet all
Speaker 1: the families and it's great to meet people on vacation,
Speaker 1: but you can also get really.
Speaker 2: Fucking sick of them.
Speaker 1: And they seem really cool on vacation and then you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna best friends forever. And I've done that too,
Speaker 1: Like it's all so just like tread lightly with the
Speaker 1: friends on vacation, like dip in and dip out, always hedge,
Speaker 1: always have somewhere you got to go and do like
Speaker 1: don't get into like, oh hey, we're dining at six
Speaker 1: o'clock too, let's sit with you guys, Like, I don't
Speaker 1: need to be negative, it's just I just think you
Speaker 1: gotta be a positive. You got to test drive people
Speaker 1: on vacation before you decide to buy. Not to mention
Speaker 1: the man ripping the people at the beach chair kiosk.
Speaker 2: Right, let's just fucking.
Speaker 1: Get this out of the way right now. Rule one
Speaker 1: oh one is like chairs are, like, it's a tough
Speaker 1: shit program. Hotels have to either like implement like you're
Speaker 1: in this room and you're assigned chairs, Like why isn't
Speaker 1: that a case? You are in this room. We have
Speaker 1: eighty five rooms at this hotel, and we have two
Speaker 1: hundred you know, the family of four, we have, you know,
Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty chairs like average.
Speaker 2: Out, Like right, that's what we have.
Speaker 1: And these are assigned to your room and you can
Speaker 1: fight it out if you only got two assigned to
Speaker 1: your room, like in your four people, that's tough shit.
Speaker 1: Each room should have two chairs assigned to it and
Speaker 1: not like a fight for your life, Like why is
Speaker 1: every hotel a fight for your life? A fucking beach chairs.
Speaker 1: So it's like the hostel program. People get up at
Speaker 1: seven in the morning to put their shit down on
Speaker 1: the chair. Then once the pool guys get in at nine,
Speaker 1: they start counting the time and making rules. You can't
Speaker 1: leave your chair for more than you know, forty five minutes,
Speaker 1: and you got to leave something on it. Now people
Speaker 1: are leaving forever, and you're resenting them because they're leaving
Speaker 1: and going down on like fucking zip line tours and
Speaker 1: like you know, glass bottom boat tours while the chair is.
Speaker 2: Just sitting there.
Speaker 1: Anyway, this guy, all I heard was this, get me
Speaker 1: two chairs. Now. I'm not exaggerating, like yelling at these
Speaker 1: guys behind here. I took everything for me to not
Speaker 1: walk up there and be like, why.
Speaker 2: Don't you go fuck yourself? Like I was crazy? What
Speaker 2: would possess someone?
Speaker 1: What do you think Those two guys that were and
Speaker 1: the Kiosk woke up today and they're like, we're just
Speaker 1: gonna fuck with the New Yorker and take his chairs, Like,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: The guy put his ship.
Speaker 1: I let later ask the guys what happened that he
Speaker 1: would yell like that he put a shit down on
Speaker 1: the chair. He went off to breakfast for a while
Speaker 1: or whatever. Someone else took it off and took his
Speaker 1: front row beach chairs. Yeah, it's called the tough shit program. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you think you can fucking yell loud enough with
Speaker 1: these guys, buy yourself your own goddamn island, or buy
Speaker 1: yourself your own chairs and get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1: I was so mad, I was like, what the hell?
Speaker 1: And it makes it just made me sad. It's soul crushing.
Speaker 1: I said that my New Year's resolution was going to
Speaker 1: be that I can only control myself. I really love it,
Speaker 1: like I can't control what other people say or do.
Speaker 1: I can only control myself and my daughter. The other
Speaker 1: part of my New Year's resolution, it's a multi tiered
Speaker 1: New Year's resolution, is to eliminate people, practices, obligations, anything
Speaker 1: that is soul crushing.
Speaker 2: What do I mean by that?
Speaker 1: Like you, we're just so trained to do things we
Speaker 1: don't want to do. We don't even notice anymore. And
Speaker 1: there are things like there are jobs that I've had.
Speaker 1: I used to work selling on HSN. While it's a
Speaker 1: good company and they have a great model and it's
Speaker 1: great for some people, and people make a lot of
Speaker 1: money doing it. I would be two o'clock in the
Speaker 1: morning with neon lights, dehydrated and still talking about the
Speaker 1: same pair of leggings, like forty five minutes later, and
Speaker 1: your eyeballs would be falling out of your head on springs,
Speaker 1: and like the concept is that you're supposed to be
Speaker 1: happy because if you get this major ts, which is
Speaker 1: the sale opportunity, then you get to sell for twenty
Speaker 1: four hours and you make the most money because you're
Speaker 1: on the biggest sale. But you're up in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night with your eyes bleeding, and you're supposed
Speaker 1: to be excited. And I remember saying it was soul crushing,
Speaker 1: and like I kept doing it until I really just said,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to do this anymore. I gotta
Speaker 1: get off this ride. It doesn't matter how much money
Speaker 1: you pay me. There's no number you could pay me
Speaker 1: to do this. Years ago, when I had a radio show,
Speaker 1: they wanted me to come drive to Midtown every day
Speaker 1: and go in there and do the radio show five
Speaker 1: days a week when I have other obligations and I'm
Speaker 1: a mother, and I just I didn't want to know
Speaker 1: that I had to be trapped inside a dark studio
Speaker 1: all day doing a radio show. It doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: that's a bad job. It meant that for me, that's
Speaker 1: soul crushing. Being on the Housewives that was soul crushing.
Speaker 1: It was just it was wrong inside my body. It
Speaker 1: felt wrong. Relationships can be soul crushing. Plans can be
Speaker 1: soul crushing. Dynamics like sibling relationships, parent and child relationships,
Speaker 1: and those you can't like just you know, excommunicate a
Speaker 1: family member, but you can manage it in a different way.
Speaker 1: And I just do not want to put myself in
Speaker 1: situations anymore that are soul crushing. Like I had a
Speaker 1: business partnership for a production company where I got paid
Speaker 1: a lot of money. I was guaranteed a lot of money.
Speaker 1: I didn't like the way it made me feel. I
Speaker 1: just didn't want to do it. I didn't like the
Speaker 1: partners and I didn't want to do it. Why it
Speaker 1: was crushing my soul, crushing my spirit. I just think
Speaker 1: there's so many things that you can do and if
Speaker 1: at all possible, you can avoid circumstances that feel like
Speaker 1: they're crushing your soul and your spirit. Do it and
Speaker 1: it creeps up on you don't even realize it. I
Speaker 1: have this therapist. He's like a sort of more of
Speaker 1: a life coach therapist. He doesn't believe in obligations. It
Speaker 1: means like he believes in obviously you're in a relationship
Speaker 1: and it's sacrificed, and there are things that you do
Speaker 1: but you want to do them because you're in a
Speaker 1: relationship or you know it's the right thing to do.
Speaker 1: But like there's a fine line between that and when
Speaker 1: like you're being guilted into doing things.
Speaker 2: You're doing things because you feel guilty.
Speaker 1: You're doing them because someone else is telling you that's
Speaker 1: what you do, and it makes you feel suffocated. And
Speaker 1: that's the type of stuff that crushes your spirit and
Speaker 1: crushes your soul. And then you get into dynamics at work.
Speaker 1: There are certain people. The way that they speak to you,
Speaker 1: it kills you and you just like get into you
Speaker 1: get heated or you get lit up, and you just
Speaker 1: don't like the way that makes you feel.
Speaker 2: Change the dynamic.
Speaker 1: Either make it that it's email or that you text them,
Speaker 1: or that you're not the one that speaks to them,
Speaker 1: or you just find a way to like control it,
Speaker 1: find some sort of internal safe word with yourself, or
Speaker 1: find a way to like reframe it. But anything it's
Speaker 1: soul crushing, spirit crushing, just all of that should be eliminated.
Speaker 1: That is a big one. That's been a big one
Speaker 1: for me. But I'm really sticking to it. I'm not
Speaker 1: doing things that make me feel like my spirit is
Speaker 1: being dampened. It's too important to be alive and to
Speaker 1: be happy and to be positive, because you'll become negative
Speaker 1: real fast being around things that aren't good for you
Speaker 1: and that make.
Speaker 2: You feel bad about yourself or that crush your soul.
Speaker 1: Just don't do it, if at all possible, and don't
Speaker 1: allow yourself to be treated in a way that is
Speaker 1: less than what you deserve. And if people around you,
Speaker 1: family members, people you work with, et cetera, are doing that,
Speaker 1: it's not going to be that you can cure it
Speaker 1: in a day. But start snapping that leash very subtly.
Speaker 1: Start reframing retraining patterns. There's a way that a parent
Speaker 1: speaks to you that's like negative, or that they're just
Speaker 1: not being respectful, or there's some dynamic that was set
Speaker 1: up years ago. Start start to curtail that, start to
Speaker 1: snap that leash. And a great way to do that
Speaker 1: is to say calmly, it's unacceptable how you're speaking to me,
Speaker 1: or it's unacceptable how you're treating me, or I'm not
Speaker 1: going to stand around and listen to this. Like exit
Speaker 1: from whatever situation is uncomfortable. Exit if someone's not treating
Speaker 1: you properly. Exit if someone's not speaking to you properly.
Speaker 1: In the micro or the macro. That means you could
Speaker 1: break up with someone if that's habitual, or you could
Speaker 1: just step away from the situation at a holiday dinner
Speaker 1: if it's something with a family member that you really
Speaker 1: can't control. Take yourself away from things that have negative energy.
Speaker 1: It's very contagious and it's about them, not you. I'll
Speaker 1: give you more New Year's resolutions. Play tennis with better
Speaker 1: tennis players. Do not dumb yourself down. Do not punch
Speaker 1: down in your weight. Like if you want to get
Speaker 1: good at something, play the game with someone better than you,
Speaker 1: whether it's literally a game like tennis or volleyball, or
Speaker 1: whether it's a working Elevate the game, and do not
Speaker 1: accept less than what you deserve. I was telling my
Speaker 1: daughter today about a circumstance. I was saying, this has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you. It has everything to do
Speaker 1: with them. And just because somebody tries to dampen your
Speaker 1: spirit or make you feel bad that nothing. Do not
Speaker 1: allow that. That is contagious, that will penetrate. Do not
Speaker 1: allow that. Find a distance from that, keep a distance
Speaker 1: from that. Keep yourself protected from negative energy from people
Speaker 1: that try to bring you down and treat you less
Speaker 1: than what you deserve. Do not accept that