WEBVTT - Second Cup: Keep track of others' big days

0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:07.600
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.

0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:09.479
<v Speaker 2>Good Morning.

0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:16.680
<v Speaker 3>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:20.479
<v Speaker 3>tip is to keep track of big days in the

0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:24.159
<v Speaker 3>lives of people you care about. I am not just

0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:28.680
<v Speaker 3>talking birthdays, though it is good to remember birthdays. I

0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:33.040
<v Speaker 3>am talking about other momentous occasions as well, like when

0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:36.400
<v Speaker 3>someone is dropping their first kid off at college or

0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:40.159
<v Speaker 3>giving a major presentation at work. You want to be

0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:43.880
<v Speaker 3>aware of when the people you care about might appreciate

0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:48.480
<v Speaker 3>a little extra care. Noting these days is a great

0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:51.800
<v Speaker 3>way to show that you well care.

0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:56.920
<v Speaker 2>So as I go through life, I realize that some

0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:02.840
<v Speaker 2>people are naturally emotionally attuned to others. They automatically devote

0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:06.679
<v Speaker 2>time and energy to understanding what is important to other people.

0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Some of us are just not so naturally skilled in

0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:17.200
<v Speaker 2>these areas, But like anything, friendship skills and interpersonal skills

0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:23.320
<v Speaker 2>can be learned and practiced. Keeping track of important dates

0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:28.760
<v Speaker 2>is one such skill. The key realization here is that

0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:32.720
<v Speaker 2>everyone has various events in their lives that will be

0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:38.200
<v Speaker 2>front of mind for them. When other people acknowledge those events,

0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:42.920
<v Speaker 2>they feel seen as most of us aren't very good

0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:47.360
<v Speaker 2>at remembering other people's events, we need a good system

0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:53.080
<v Speaker 2>to keep track of them. Fortunately, this is not that difficult.

0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.400
<v Speaker 2>If you can schedule a meeting with your sales team

0:01:57.480 --> 0:02:01.720
<v Speaker 2>for next Friday, then you are equally capable of noting

0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:04.680
<v Speaker 2>on your calendar that your neighbor will be dropping her

0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:07.080
<v Speaker 2>child off at overnight camp for the first time on

0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:10.680
<v Speaker 2>July ninth, So you can then text your neighbor on

0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:14.160
<v Speaker 2>the ninth with Hey, big day for you guys, hoping

0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:16.799
<v Speaker 2>it all goes well. I am sure Henry will love

0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:20.960
<v Speaker 2>this adventure. If you can note on your calendar that

0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:24.280
<v Speaker 2>you have a dentist appointment next Wednesday, then you can

0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:27.040
<v Speaker 2>also pay attention when your running buddy tells you that

0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:30.320
<v Speaker 2>next Wednesday she's going to meet with her boss and

0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:34.160
<v Speaker 2>ask for a raise. You can then text her next

0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:38.400
<v Speaker 2>Wednesday morning to say encouraging things and offer to be

0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:42.760
<v Speaker 2>a sounding board for anything she wants to process afterwards.

0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:50.440
<v Speaker 2>This isn't difficult, but it requires listening when other people

0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:53.679
<v Speaker 2>mention things that matter to them, and then having some

0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:58.720
<v Speaker 2>system for noting the date when some support would be nice.

0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:02.119
<v Speaker 2>One easy way to do this is just to email yourself.

0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:06.160
<v Speaker 2>You probably have your phone with you all the time,

0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:10.639
<v Speaker 2>so just email a note like h camp drop off

0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:14.440
<v Speaker 2>seven to nine. I'm guessing the majority of people listening

0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:18.720
<v Speaker 2>to this have some system for processing their primary inbox

0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:22.720
<v Speaker 2>to completion, So when you are sitting down to do

0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:26.440
<v Speaker 2>that processing, you will get the note about your neighbor's

0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:30.040
<v Speaker 2>kid at a time when you probably have your calendar

0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:33.680
<v Speaker 2>available and you are in the mode of getting stuff

0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:37.960
<v Speaker 2>on there. Then you just need to remember to look

0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:42.000
<v Speaker 2>at your calendar regularly. But again, if you do this

0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:44.080
<v Speaker 2>when you check when you are meeting with that sales

0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:47.520
<v Speaker 2>team or have your dentist appointment, then you will see

0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:52.960
<v Speaker 2>any messages about other people's important dates as well. Now,

0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.720
<v Speaker 2>I suspect that some people listening to this probably think

0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:59.040
<v Speaker 2>this whole episode is strange. I mean, doesn't everyone do

0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:02.360
<v Speaker 2>things like remember the date that their best friend's mother

0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:06.600
<v Speaker 2>passed away. Doesn't everyone make sure to be extra supportive

0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:10.960
<v Speaker 2>of their friend on that grief anniversary? And you know what,

0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:15.520
<v Speaker 2>It would be nice if everyone was this emotionally intelligent

0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:22.080
<v Speaker 2>and organized, but unfortunately that isn't always the case. For

0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:26.680
<v Speaker 2>those who are not so naturally attuned, keeping track of

0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:30.719
<v Speaker 2>other people's important dates is a smart way to be

0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:36.760
<v Speaker 2>kinder and more supportive of those around us. Maybe it

0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:41.320
<v Speaker 2>feels forced, but so what. Your friend would rather you

0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.800
<v Speaker 2>send her an encouraging note on the day she asks

0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:49.479
<v Speaker 2>for that raise than you not sending an encouraging note,

0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.360
<v Speaker 2>even if she finds the entry on your calendar funny

0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:57.160
<v Speaker 2>should she ever see it, so do it. You will

0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.000
<v Speaker 2>probably be glad you did.

0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:01.400
<v Speaker 1>In the meantime.

0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:07.120
<v Speaker 3>This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:16.960
<v Speaker 3>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.960
<v Speaker 3>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:23.840
<v Speaker 3>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:26.719
<v Speaker 3>and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.

0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:32.640
<v Speaker 1>That's b E the number four then Breakfast pod. You

0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:36.080
<v Speaker 1>can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast

0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:39.560
<v Speaker 1>at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out

0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:42.040
<v Speaker 1>with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look

0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:50.400
<v Speaker 1>forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:55.799
<v Speaker 1>of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:59.279
<v Speaker 1>Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:04.800
<v Speaker 1>To gag

0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:08.000
<v Speaker 2>H