Speaker 1: My Hello, they're my little cum buckets. Thank you for
Speaker 1: joining me, your of course perfect and haunting stepmother for
Speaker 1: episode three of the husband Hunt, where me your cannot
Speaker 1: do no wrong, absolutely iconic Queen of a step mom
Speaker 1: breaks down a step by step guide to securing the
Speaker 1: husband a k a. The life of your dreams or
Speaker 1: many lives and many husbands if you play your cards
Speaker 1: right now. I hope you all remember that you were
Speaker 1: merely a little piece of sperms swimming in your daddy's
Speaker 1: scrotum sack, and then you did come to be And
Speaker 1: now I have to guide you down the hell road
Speaker 1: that we call life. So I hope you are paying
Speaker 1: attention now. As we went over in episode two pursuing,
Speaker 1: I hope you all have done a successful pursuit and
Speaker 1: finally found your prey to you capture. In episode three,
Speaker 1: we will be going over capture now, has I always
Speaker 1: do for those of you that seem to have a
Speaker 1: little numb nuts of heads. In pursuit, we went over
Speaker 1: smelling gorgeous, being rich, making sure that you're not too opinionated,
Speaker 1: being the person he wants you to be by making
Speaker 1: you simply irresistible, always being ready to go on any
Speaker 1: trip at a moment's notice, and always having a good
Speaker 1: time on your date, learning them to you and never
Speaker 1: scaring them off, and of course always being the most
Speaker 1: enticing flower in the garden. That, my dear listeners, is
Speaker 1: the recipe for successful pursuit which allows us for a
Speaker 1: successful capture. Now that we learned them to us, it
Speaker 1: is time we keep them. They should be sucking off
Speaker 1: of your goddamn tate at this point if you have
Speaker 1: done your pursuit correctly. Capturing my darling DearS, when things
Speaker 1: start to get very real because it naturally involves family
Speaker 1: and friends and digging deep into their broader scope of
Speaker 1: what they think their life is, and that in turn
Speaker 1: involves you getting other people's approval to capture. Getting them
Speaker 1: to be yours and all yours means getting others in
Speaker 1: their life, important people in their life, to agree that
Speaker 1: yet you are that special someone and they shouldn't spend
Speaker 1: another ayota of time without you in their life. That
Speaker 1: is when we have captured our sacred pray. Capture, however,
Speaker 1: involves so much more than just needing them and everyone
Speaker 1: else to become fully obsessed and relying upon you. Why
Speaker 1: we need their family and kids. It's to be obsessed
Speaker 1: to and we can't fuck this up. Remember, family, especially
Speaker 1: those sticky fingered little breaks of children, love to stand
Speaker 1: in the way of everyone's happiness and everything in general.
Speaker 1: But don't worry. Like any piece of meat, fat can
Speaker 1: be trimmed, and trimming is what we'll do with a
Speaker 1: very long, sharp, hard knife. Well, of course, we want
Speaker 1: the cleanest capture possible, so again I stress you play
Speaker 1: it smart and find prey that is mm hmmm, childless
Speaker 1: and tasty and whose family is obviously dead. But now,
Speaker 1: if you must find yourself in a situation where your
Speaker 1: capture is complicated, as our first few captures always are,
Speaker 1: here is, of course what we start with for your
Speaker 1: stupid little brains what not to do. Never one, when capturing,
Speaker 1: do not make the absolutely ridiculous decision and let your
Speaker 1: guard down. Never let his mother or children ever actually
Speaker 1: know the real you. And that being said, never let
Speaker 1: him know the real you either, if it happens so,
Speaker 1: they could potentially spot that you aren't the cultured, sophisticated
Speaker 1: lurning woman there Daddy dearest fell in love with, but
Speaker 1: are in fact Amy who used to shop at Trader
Speaker 1: Joe's and worked at a mid level telemarketing firm. Why
Speaker 1: the whole thing will explode. You will not be the
Speaker 1: prize possession that Daddy can only find one of. You'll
Speaker 1: be well replaceable, and we do not want that. You
Speaker 1: do not want mommy, or the children, or the friends,
Speaker 1: or anyone of importance for that matter. Spotting any holes
Speaker 1: and your personality. The person you are to him is
Speaker 1: the person you are to everyone else. Everyone else sure
Speaker 1: were to fuck you just as bad as him. Now
Speaker 1: Number two, do not lose energy. A part of capturing
Speaker 1: is being trotted around town like the prize possession you are.
Speaker 1: This is when he gets to show you off to
Speaker 1: his community, his peers. He gets to say look what
Speaker 1: I have. Remember, he thinks he's captured you, But no,
Speaker 1: my dear, you've captured him and all of his friends.
Speaker 1: Everyone in his life. Needs to be completely transfixed and
Speaker 1: on your side. So you cannot lose energy. It is
Speaker 1: important you always keep up with whatever is happening in
Speaker 1: your surroundings. Say you're invited to an owner's box to
Speaker 1: watch a football game. You cheer, you flail, you drink
Speaker 1: the beer. You have fun. Say you are on a
Speaker 1: boat for example, getting lulled to sleep. Oh, that wave
Speaker 1: is just making you relax, while don't. It is imperative
Speaker 1: you stay awake on that private jet ride all the
Speaker 1: way to Iceland. You need to stay alert because the
Speaker 1: second you whose energy, the second you, for some god
Speaker 1: awful reason, decide to take a nap when you are
Speaker 1: amongst his family and friends, is this second that they
Speaker 1: find an opportunity to talk shit about you and potentially
Speaker 1: sway him in the other direction. Remember, it's a lot
Speaker 1: easier to dump someone when it's not legal yet, So
Speaker 1: the last thing you need is someone with influence in
Speaker 1: his life telling him that he can do better than you.
Speaker 1: There will be no such thing. There will be no
Speaker 1: such conversation had why because you will be taking two
Speaker 1: hundred milligrams of time release adder, all the five anything
Speaker 1: to do with it to ensure your eyes never even blink.
Speaker 1: You're so fucking alert. We never want to let anyone
Speaker 1: whisper anything but are well wishes, especially when they're in
Speaker 1: our presence. Now, do not, I repeat, do not get
Speaker 1: too close to the kids. You can, of course get
Speaker 1: close to his parents, however, they should hopefully be dead
Speaker 1: by now. But if you do need to deal with
Speaker 1: a mother in law. If he is a mama's boy,
Speaker 1: you become a mama's girl. If he wants to suck
Speaker 1: off her teeth, you suck off the other. You make
Speaker 1: her think that she has influence over your life, when
Speaker 1: you will be the first one to make sure the
Speaker 1: plug gets pulled the second she's entered into hospice, because remember,
Speaker 1: her money becomes your money, and it's all the game
Speaker 1: of dominoes, dear. But the children, on the other hand,
Speaker 1: oh they're tempting, and they're sweet little cherub faces, all innocent,
Speaker 1: their sparkly eyes, the way that they can't pronounce they're ours. Why,
Speaker 1: it's like they're little puppies just begging for love. But
Speaker 1: the love is what you are not going to give them. Remember,
Speaker 1: they are entitled to money just by being born from
Speaker 1: that little sperm sack I've afore mentioned, and we need
Speaker 1: to sure that whatever money is theirs, is of course yours.
Speaker 1: So we can't risk having a Jerry McGuire situation on
Speaker 1: our hands, now, can we, And don't be fooled by
Speaker 1: their little adorable, puffy little cheeks or whatever the fun
Speaker 1: piece of noodle jewelry they might make for you. They
Speaker 1: are just as manipulative and sinister as you think of
Speaker 1: them as your opponents in the game. Rather than winning
Speaker 1: their love, win the game. Remember it's too risky. Not
Speaker 1: all professionals can be as emotionally shut off and deranged
Speaker 1: as I am. At this point. It has taken me
Speaker 1: oh about seven successful captures to get to where I am.
Speaker 1: But the children are just too tempting and risky, which
Speaker 1: of course brings me two story time. I guess you
Speaker 1: could say I made the tragic mistake of getting manipulated
Speaker 1: by a little pale pre pubas and tasty slab of fact.
Speaker 1: Now this name was Jasper Jasper van Jensen Devrise van Deeberg,
Speaker 1: the son of Hans Jensen Devrise van Deeburg. That's right,
Speaker 1: the air of every single tulip field in the Netherlands.
Speaker 1: I spotted Hans while morning the loss of my seventh
Speaker 1: husband on a Delta one flight to Paris. I spotted
Speaker 1: him in the airline magazine discussing all the gorgeous tulip fields,
Speaker 1: and I knew that he was my next piece of prey,
Speaker 1: and I knew that I had to seek him. So
Speaker 1: what did I do? Why? I went to Amsterdam, of course,
Speaker 1: to attend his annual tulip Fest. So I went in
Speaker 1: my most gorgeous milk made cosplay. You could ever see
Speaker 1: why not even the Van Trapp family and sound of
Speaker 1: music could compare with this little outfit I had on.
Speaker 1: And of course I knew he wanted that good little
Speaker 1: American girl that he saw in the cinema. He wanted
Speaker 1: the girl next door, that American, sweet, sweetest pie neighbor,
Speaker 1: and that's what I was going to give him. So
Speaker 1: when I met him at the tulip Fest, as I
Speaker 1: had planned, it was on. I took one look at
Speaker 1: his big hunk of buttery skin and knew that he
Speaker 1: was mine, and the cherry on top was of course,
Speaker 1: he was a widow with one motherless son. So what
Speaker 1: did I do? Why? I made the novice mistake of
Speaker 1: wanting to become that son's mummy. I made the novice
Speaker 1: mistake of wanting that son to need me so badly
Speaker 1: his father simply couldn't deny having me around, even if
Speaker 1: he wasn't in love with me. I made the mistake
Speaker 1: of relying too much on Little Jasper's approval instead of
Speaker 1: Daddy dearest. Now I thought that Jasper was on my
Speaker 1: side at the beginning, always inviting me in to eat
Speaker 1: the toast with sprinkles on it, always wanting to finger
Speaker 1: paint me in the nude, which I let him do
Speaker 1: multiple times. Turns out Little Jasper was just wanting to
Speaker 1: steal me away from Daddy and take me away from
Speaker 1: spending time with him. Little Jasper knew that the longer
Speaker 1: and longer I stayed in Amsterdam, and of course I
Speaker 1: booked myself a one way ticket and managed to live
Speaker 1: with him within three weeks. He realized that his time
Speaker 1: with Daddy was gone. One second I was getting completely
Speaker 1: pulled down by his Daddy's uncut dutch cock, and the
Speaker 1: next second he comes pounding out the door, fully knowing
Speaker 1: it was our alone time, just to intrude and wiggle
Speaker 1: between us in bed. So now it was me, Hans
Speaker 1: and Jasper. Now I knew I was coming in on
Speaker 1: my capture. As Hans had planned to charter sailing yacht
Speaker 1: A all around the gorgeous Ionian Islands on the Ionian Sea.
Speaker 1: I knew Little Jasper knew that this time Hans was
Speaker 1: going to propose to sweet dear step Mommy. With that
Speaker 1: gorgeous twenty seven carrot pink diamond set in platinum. He
Speaker 1: had happened to bid on in his sleep at Christie's auction,
Speaker 1: and once it arrived by he knew his subconscious wanted
Speaker 1: him to propose to me, and that's exactly what was
Speaker 1: going to happen. So when little Jasper sensed that this
Speaker 1: trip was going to be more than just a monthly
Speaker 1: jaunt to Corfu, I knew he had something up his sleep.
Speaker 1: Lucky for me, I was able to intervene his nanny
Speaker 1: and pay her off to stop taking him to swimming
Speaker 1: lessons every Tuesday, and instead took him right to the
Speaker 1: waffle stand to book him right up. Now, the second
Speaker 1: I stepped foot on sailing yachte, I knew that Jasper
Speaker 1: was my competition, and Jasper and I were facing off.
Speaker 1: We were no longer enjoying this gorgeous vacation together, Nay,
Speaker 1: we were wanting to take each other out. So what
Speaker 1: did I have to do? Well, unfortunately I had to
Speaker 1: toss Jasper overboard. Of course, off he went Tota by
Speaker 1: flash right down into the Ionian Sea herself. Oh it's
Speaker 1: a shame. It was such a stormy night. Usually the
Speaker 1: Ionian is so calm, and what's that Daddy and the
Speaker 1: Captain were at the helm and we were at the oars. Well,
Speaker 1: I naturally had to let him flail and think he
Speaker 1: was on the brink of death. And then I obviously
Speaker 1: took off my gorgeous cashmere Brunella Cucinelli sweater, stripped into
Speaker 1: my ra as bikini and over right in while making
Speaker 1: a scene, of course, making sure that Hans naturally saw
Speaker 1: me save his flailing, pathetic little child. Once I got
Speaker 1: back on bored m Jasper looked insane. He kept on
Speaker 1: saying she threw me, and she threw me in, And
Speaker 1: it became very easy for me to tell Daddy dear
Speaker 1: that he was clearly under emotional dress and the best
Speaker 1: thing we could do with Peter send him to a
Speaker 1: school for troubled boys. There was a good place to go,
Speaker 1: seeing as he was only six and so impressionable, And
Speaker 1: that was how I dealt with Jasper. I eventually did
Speaker 1: secure the carrot pink diamond ring, and it just so
Speaker 1: happened that Hans died in a tragic vespa accident later
Speaker 1: that year. Well, since Jasper was so young, and since
Speaker 1: Hans had no other family. I am now in charge
Speaker 1: of all of young Jasper's accounts, and looks like little
Speaker 1: Jasper will have a lot of work to do in
Speaker 1: order to see any of that money ever again, and
Speaker 1: you probably never will. Now. It's unfortunate to have to
Speaker 1: do something like that. It broke my heart. But that's
Speaker 1: why you never get close with a child. Never onto
Speaker 1: what to do. As I said, capturing a widow is
Speaker 1: very lucky, and getting close to the child is imperative
Speaker 1: because once you convince the child that they need you,
Speaker 1: then of course their parents wants you even or yes,
Speaker 1: you will officially become stepmommy. But when he dies, you,
Speaker 1: as I said, will be in charge of all of
Speaker 1: the accounts, and it's very easy to cut that little
Speaker 1: rascal or two or three out. You can also emotionally
Speaker 1: take advantage of motherless children. They tend to have emotional issues,
Speaker 1: so of course it's easy to blame things on them
Speaker 1: and get them sent away. As I just detailed, do
Speaker 1: take every opportunity you can if the child unfortunately does
Speaker 1: have a biological parent, that his children would be better
Speaker 1: off at boarding school, or to cut them off completely,
Speaker 1: because you want the children to grow up while adjusted.
Speaker 1: You don't want them to be spoiled rotten like a
Speaker 1: slab of cream cheese left out in the hot summer's sun. No,
Speaker 1: you want the kids to go and you want him
Speaker 1: to not trust his children. So do take every opportunity
Speaker 1: you can, especially if they are teens, to frame them.
Speaker 1: Frame them for murder, frame them for theft, frame them
Speaker 1: for emotional abuse, just frame them. Get creative, I know
Speaker 1: you can. Lastly, do be having sex with them as
Speaker 1: often as you physically can. Take a little light a
Speaker 1: cane cream goes a long way. But step mom, you
Speaker 1: say I don't want to have sex with them, I
Speaker 1: just want to have sex with their money. Well, grow up.
Speaker 1: A part of getting their money is doling out your assets.
Speaker 1: And frankly, dear, the more you let them cream, splooge, slip,
Speaker 1: slap and slip all over your body this year, there
Speaker 1: are to leave you all of that good, good coin. Now.
Speaker 1: Of course, once you're legally married, you can do the
Speaker 1: humane thing and have an affair, of course, but only
Speaker 1: until you're married. Then the law is on your side.
Speaker 1: But until then you cannot be fooling around with anyone
Speaker 1: that might be tempting. That includes the gardener, the pool boy,
Speaker 1: the maid, everyone else. You need to be making sure
Speaker 1: that you are, therefore them to utilize as a come
Speaker 1: bucket whenever they're so late. It is a sophisticated performance, dear,
Speaker 1: not anything to turn your nose up to. Now, please
Speaker 1: make sure you stay groomed. I know how you love
Speaker 1: to get unkempt and bohemian, but there's no time for
Speaker 1: that anymore. Nobody likes a cat that's supposed to be hairless.
Speaker 1: Now the friends, last and most important. You must make
Speaker 1: every single person in his life want to fuck you.
Speaker 1: Then he's going to want to fuck you harder when
Speaker 1: he feels and senses that you are beloved and desirable
Speaker 1: by his whole tribe. Why then, you, my dear, have
Speaker 1: become his most valuable asset. Not even all of those
Speaker 1: Netflix stocks can amount to what that means. He knows
Speaker 1: that you are the piece, the prize. You are that rare, rare,
Speaker 1: rare collectible that only comes once in a lifetime. And
Speaker 1: if he has his friends telling him that I don't
Speaker 1: care what you have to do, flirt with them insanely,
Speaker 1: make him jealous. Do what you will. You will get
Speaker 1: those friends to be on your side. Now Stepmomma Daris
Speaker 1: is going to answer your question, how do I take
Speaker 1: out in your life insurance policy on him without making
Speaker 1: him suspicious? Huh. Finally someone is listening to my work
Speaker 1: and knowing the questions to ask. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for writing in life insurance is a wonderful little thing
Speaker 1: to always have in your back pocket. Now, there are
Speaker 1: two ways of doing this. One you start going on
Speaker 1: gorgeous trips such as safaris or perhaps a desert oh
Speaker 1: the a mongari. One might say a little you've taw
Speaker 1: desert a trek out there? A scorpion could bite you.
Speaker 1: Why he could die? You want him to take out
Speaker 1: as many life insurance policies in your interest. Remember, it's
Speaker 1: about manipulating him into wanting to need you. If he
Speaker 1: needs you, why he should take out as many life
Speaker 1: insurance policies as possible, especially if you're living out all
Speaker 1: of his deep dark fantasies of being Indiana Jones or
Speaker 1: some dumbass thing that all these pathetic little men love
Speaker 1: to pretend to be. Another way of doing this is classic.
Speaker 1: I just said it right before we took our little break. Darling.
Speaker 1: Drug him. It's so easy to do you drug him,
Speaker 1: You take out the policy. He asked, who took this out?
Speaker 1: You say why you did. It's a classic drug and gaslight,
Speaker 1: and I personally think that there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1: You'd give him a little bit of Valume, a little
Speaker 1: bit of Zanex, a little bit of Advent, whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you have on hand, crush it up, mix
Speaker 1: it in a gorgeous the little fashion, and next thing
Speaker 1: you know, you have a fat life insurance policy ready
Speaker 1: and waiting for you. And you didn't really do anything
Speaker 1: wrong other than relax him, pushing him toward a decision
Speaker 1: you know he would ultimately have made for you. After all,
Speaker 1: he's in love with you. You're his soul mate and
Speaker 1: he's yours, so of course he only wants what's best.
Speaker 1: And oh my goodness, I can't believe he ran into
Speaker 1: a tree when we were skiing in Cortina. Oh gosh,
Speaker 1: it's a good thing he took out that life insurance
Speaker 1: policy when you were just enjoying cocktails and Kiowa Island
Speaker 1: a few months ago. You had no idea that was
Speaker 1: going to happen. Now, did you always played dumb? It's
Speaker 1: always your best friend? Hi? So um, I got a
Speaker 1: lot of change happening right now, and I was wondering
Speaker 1: if you had any in fights or on how to
Speaker 1: handle all of it. Look, I got a job interviews
Speaker 1: and went to the city. My girlfriend and I are
Speaker 1: props in together, and U I just really need some
Speaker 1: step motherly advice or on how to process it all. Wow,
Speaker 1: what a thoughtful question. Here's some advice for you. Don't
Speaker 1: process it. Don't give yourself but a little ounce of
Speaker 1: free time to even let that brain think. When we
Speaker 1: let the brain think, it fox us up. When we
Speaker 1: let the brain go and do whatever it wants to do,
Speaker 1: it will start creating thoughts that aren't helpful to our
Speaker 1: overall goals in life, which is of course being gorgeous,
Speaker 1: having money and staying tight. Now, what I suggest you
Speaker 1: do is ask your girlfriend for her credit card, not yours,
Speaker 1: and you go out and you max it the funk out.
Speaker 1: That's right. You buy yourself everything and anything you want.
Speaker 1: A new computer, sure, new tits, why not, a vaginal laby,
Speaker 1: a plastic go for queen. You want to get yourself
Speaker 1: a brand new set of diamond to wear on every
Speaker 1: single finger. I suggest you go forth, max out the card,
Speaker 1: live your life. Spoil yourself rotten, spoil yourself so that
Speaker 1: you are stinking like the piece of Rockford on a
Speaker 1: cheese pladder nobody wants to eat. If you do that,
Speaker 1: I guarantee you'll distract yourself long enough to forget hell
Speaker 1: that you're even in a new city, or that there's
Speaker 1: any change going on around you at all. You'll just
Speaker 1: be suffocating in the bliss of opulence, and that really
Speaker 1: is the key to life. Oh and quit your job
Speaker 1: fan here, do you have any advice on what to
Speaker 1: do to spice up my real lociones a bit of
Speaker 1: a row of me and my other and uh, I
Speaker 1: was wondering if you had any tidbits advice, you know,
Speaker 1: things that could help you know keat ups come and fall. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, dearest listener, for calling in and
Speaker 1: finally bringing up a topic. I can sink my teeth
Speaker 1: and lips into sex, something that I can't believe I
Speaker 1: so foolishly skipped right over when talking about capturing. Of course,
Speaker 1: when we're capturing, you can absolutely just completely pussy whip
Speaker 1: the guy. Nothing is more powerful than a libido and
Speaker 1: two bodies colliding in the sheets. Nothing is more powerful
Speaker 1: than riding someone until the morning comes. Nothing is more
Speaker 1: powerful than making them or gasm at the top of
Speaker 1: their lungs. Nothing is more powerful than you show them
Speaker 1: sides of themselves they didn't know before and when you
Speaker 1: dip into their sexual fantasies. So what I would say
Speaker 1: to you, what's your fantasy? Do you want to maybe
Speaker 1: dress up as uh mailman? Oh special delivery? And then
Speaker 1: what do you know? It's your gorgeous body covered in
Speaker 1: tom Ford body oil, waiting for your man to slip
Speaker 1: and slide right in. I always think a little role
Speaker 1: play is important, and when you get to play someone
Speaker 1: such as an essential worker, it also keeps the sex
Speaker 1: very grounded and philanthropic. So it's nice to feel like
Speaker 1: you're digging down a nurse or a doctor, I'm a
Speaker 1: postal worker, or someone like a lunch lady. It's always
Speaker 1: good to have sort of grounded role play. I had
Speaker 1: one guy once who loved it, absolutely loved it. When
Speaker 1: I was his wet nurse. That's right. I would strap
Speaker 1: on a bottle of milk, put it on my titter,
Speaker 1: and he would lunch right on like a little baby
Speaker 1: and just knob away all while I was jacking him off.
Speaker 1: Now that I think about it, that was probably your father.
Speaker 1: I was doing that too, So if you did hear
Speaker 1: him moaning with absolute ecstasy when you were a child,
Speaker 1: I do apologize. I know he was never able to
Speaker 1: rebound fully from that gorgeous sex. Starting with some role
Speaker 1: play is what I would suggest. First. Choking on the
Speaker 1: dick is always a tough second, getting plowed in the
Speaker 1: ass always a third, and the fourth a good old
Speaker 1: hand job. Now I know what you're thinking. That is
Speaker 1: so boring. Nothing that you can't make spicy, Nothing like
Speaker 1: a hand job while reciting the breakup scene from Cramer
Speaker 1: versus Cramer. Nothing gets a man hard like reliving his
Speaker 1: divorced trauma all while fucking his hot new pieces hand.
Speaker 1: Trust me, it works like a charm. I hope that helps.
Speaker 1: And our last question that I will get to of
Speaker 1: this absolutely sloppy web episode, I actually have a stepmom
Speaker 1: related question. My stepmom and I had kind of a
Speaker 1: falling out over the past few years. How would you
Speaker 1: like to rekindle a relationship with your stepchild? What advice
Speaker 1: would you give your stepchild to win back your heart? Wow?
Speaker 1: What a sickeningly sentimental question that was why if one
Speaker 1: of my many stepchildren wanted to rekindle with their darling
Speaker 1: dearest stepmother, it's simple, sign over your money to me,
Speaker 1: sign over your chunk of daddy, dearest swill, and then
Speaker 1: we'll be square. But if you simply can't do that
Speaker 1: for some dumb moral reason, you could at least buy
Speaker 1: me a gift like a jet or a boat, or
Speaker 1: something that would put you so deep into financial debt
Speaker 1: that you could never buy a house. Your fucking credit
Speaker 1: is so bad. But if your step mommy is a
Speaker 1: little bit more of the soft and tender type, why
Speaker 1: there's nothing that a trip to Paris hasn't fixed. Take
Speaker 1: her on a shopping spree, wine her and die in
Speaker 1: her pour. Just bottles of Chablis down her throat until
Speaker 1: she doesn't see anything but heart in her eyes for you,
Speaker 1: and make sure you compliment her work. It's important that
Speaker 1: everyone knows their faces are sitting right, and when they
Speaker 1: hear it from a young and hip person like yourself,
Speaker 1: what it means the world to them. Remember, everyone loves
Speaker 1: a kiss ass, even if they pretend like they don't,
Speaker 1: And be a good boy and run often. Buy me
Speaker 1: that mink coat I've been wanting oh and gosh, you
Speaker 1: really do freak of shallots. Well that's it from dearest
Speaker 1: stepmother today. I hope that was salty and sinister enough.
Speaker 1: And to just review what I've told my little freakish
Speaker 1: rotted mutts you all are when we sure we don't
Speaker 1: want to make enemies. We want people to want us
Speaker 1: to come in and invade their life. We want our
Speaker 1: prey to feel inspired, nay demanded to wed us. We
Speaker 1: want this to be as easy as possible. The kids, well,
Speaker 1: they gotta go, unless, of course they are parentless, and unless,
Speaker 1: of course they will truly and deeply and earnestly love
Speaker 1: you and potentially one day be on your side. We've
Speaker 1: all seen the classic film Heartbreakers. You could have your
Speaker 1: own Jennifer love Huett too. Remember always be aware of
Speaker 1: what's going on in the environments around you. Never let
Speaker 1: anybody give you a drink that you don't know what's
Speaker 1: in it that you haven't poured yourself. You never know
Speaker 1: who could be slipping kalonapin and the only one slipping
Speaker 1: Kalona pin is. You take out the life insurance policy,
Speaker 1: get close to the family, knock a kid off a boat.
Speaker 1: If you have to take the family trip. Always say yes,
Speaker 1: say yes, until we say oh no when they die.
Speaker 1: Until then, I will talk to you next week when
Speaker 1: we finally get to secure our capture, when we finally
Speaker 1: get to make it legal, when we finally have put
Speaker 1: in all of our blood, sweat and tears. Two, get
Speaker 1: it all now. Remember no one likes a sloppy whore.
Speaker 1: Get it together and I'll talk to you next week.