1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,040 Speaker 1: Hey everyone, Rebecca here. I am so excited to share 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: with you one of my favorite podcasts. Stolen is an 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: investigative podcast hosted by my friend and Cree journalist Connie Walker. 4 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: This season, Stolen Surviving Saint Michael's explores the traumatic legacy 5 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 1: of Canada's residential school system. This reporting was personal for Connie. 6 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: It brought her home to Saskatchewan to investigate a secret 7 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: within her own family. What she uncovered was a much 8 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 1: bigger story. In May, Stolen was recognized with both the 9 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: Pulitzer Prize and a Peabody Award. So we hope you 10 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode, and if you'd like to hear more, 11 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: you can find the full season by searching Stolen wherever 12 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. 13 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 2: Before we start the show, we want to let you 14 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 2: know that this episode contains references to violence and sexual 15 00:00:53,360 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 2: abuse against children. Please take care while listening. Where I 16 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 2: come from, the open plains are broken up by gravel 17 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:08,119 Speaker 2: roads that intersect every mile or so, and small paved 18 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 2: highways linking tiny town to tiny town. Driving at night 19 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 2: on these roads, it can feel like you're the only 20 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 2: person around for miles and miles, and on the nights 21 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 2: where there's no moon. It's dark and heavy and quiet. 22 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 2: If something happened out here, it might never be discovered. 23 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 2: One night in the late nineteen seventies, something did happen. 24 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 2: Two men met out here in the darkness. Their chance 25 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:45,160 Speaker 2: encounter felt like fate because they had met before, but 26 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 2: under very different circumstances. One of those men was my dad. 27 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 2: He was a police officer in rural Saskatchewan. My dad 28 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 2: was driving alone in his patrol car when he spotted 29 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 2: a set of tail lights swerving ahead of him in 30 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 2: the darkness. He flicked on his lights and the car 31 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 2: pulled over on the side of the road. My Dad 32 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 2: got out of his cruiser and walked up to the 33 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 2: driver's side window. He motioned for the man inside to 34 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 2: roll it down, and as he raised his flashlight, he 35 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 2: realized he recognized the man behind the wheel. He knew 36 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 2: that face, those eyes, the white collar under his chin, 37 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:34,079 Speaker 2: and he saw the man recognized him too. For a moment, 38 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 2: neither of them moved. Then my dad opened the door, 39 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 2: grabbed the man by his collar, and dragged him out 40 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:45,919 Speaker 2: of the car. He hit him again and again until 41 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 2: he was tired and out of breath. My dad walked 42 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 2: back to his patrol car and drove off into the night, 43 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: leaving the man crumpled on the side of the road. 44 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 2: There were no witnesses. The only people who knew what 45 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: really happened were the two men who were there. But 46 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 2: this is how I imagine this story. It's a story 47 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,640 Speaker 2: that my father told that was later told to me. 48 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 2: Hearing it has changed the way I think about my 49 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,920 Speaker 2: life because the man whom my dad beat up that 50 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 2: night was a priest, a priest who abused him in 51 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 2: residential school. I'm Connie Walker from Gimlet Media and Spotify. 52 00:03:33,440 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 2: This is Stolen Surviving Saint Michael's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, 53 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 2: eight nine. Okay, I am just arriving in Duck Lake 54 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 2: and I'm on my way to meet my brother Hal 55 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 2: at his house, which actually used to be my dad's house, 56 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 2: if I can find it, because I think I've actually 57 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 2: only been there like a couple of times. That's kind 58 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 2: of weird, I guess, maybe to not know where your 59 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 2: dad lived. It's around four o'clock in the afternoon on 60 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 2: a warm summer day in August. I've just pulled onto 61 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 2: a small highway in central Saskatchewan. As I drive there 62 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 2: are fields of wheat on either side in big stretches 63 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 2: of open sky. I know this place. I used to 64 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 2: live here, but I haven't been back in a long time. 65 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 2: The road I'm on connects the small town of Duck 66 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 2: Lake to the Beardy's and Okamaa's crew. This is my 67 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 2: dad's home, and my brother Hal lives here now. He's 68 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 2: the one who first told me the story of my 69 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 2: dad and the priest, so that's why I'm here to 70 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 2: ask him about it. Okay, this is a road called 71 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 2: Constable Cameron Road. My dad would have been Constable Cameron, 72 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,599 Speaker 2: but this road is actually named after my sister, who 73 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 2: was also Constable Cameron. She followed in my dad's footsteps, 74 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,919 Speaker 2: and I'm pretty sure they lived down this road. He 75 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:31,159 Speaker 2: lives down this road. It's a pretty big hint. My 76 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:35,279 Speaker 2: dad's name is Howard Cameron. He's my father, but I 77 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 2: didn't know him very well. My mom and I used 78 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 2: to live here with him, but they split up when 79 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 2: I was seven and we left. I didn't see or 80 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 2: hear from my dad until I was a teenager and 81 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,359 Speaker 2: came back to the reserve to visit. But whenever I 82 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 2: would come here, I wouldn't stay with my dad. I 83 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 2: would stay with my godparents, my Auntie Lois, and my 84 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 2: uncle Ernie. The first time I came back to Beardies, 85 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:02,119 Speaker 2: I was fourteen, old enough to ride the bus alone. 86 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 2: My Auntie Lois and Uncle Ernie picked me up from 87 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 2: the bus depot and I stayed with them. When they 88 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 2: asked me if I wanted to see my dad, I 89 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,600 Speaker 2: kind of felt like I had to say yes. And 90 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 2: then while I was here visiting them, I would have 91 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,160 Speaker 2: a visit with my dad and my brothers and sisters, 92 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 2: including Hell. By then, my dad had a new life 93 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,920 Speaker 2: with a new wife and four more children. I remember 94 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 2: walking into his kitchen and immediately being surrounded by little 95 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 2: kids and having them all hug me and call me sister. 96 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:41,479 Speaker 2: How was one of them okay that this has to 97 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,839 Speaker 2: be Yet As I pull up, I see Hell waiting 98 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 2: outside for me. 99 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 3: What are you doing? 100 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 2: Just golfing? 101 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:53,840 Speaker 4: No? No, I was sitting by the fire. 102 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 2: Like most camerons. He's obsessed with golf and he's holding 103 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 2: a club practicing his swing. Oh no, he said, hey, 104 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 2: hold on, let me go to my pig. Is your 105 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 2: dog friendly? 106 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 4: He's a gentle giant. She's a little bit like skittish 107 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 4: of new people, but. 108 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 3: Once she warms up, how are you doing good? 109 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 4: Went once? Well for the past, like last week. It's 110 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 4: like medicine picking seasons. Yeah, so like I went all 111 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 4: last week picking. 112 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 3: What kind of medicines are you picking? 113 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 5: Today? 114 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 4: Went off for a sweet grass? 115 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 2: Oh my god, it smells so good already. 116 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 4: Wow, so you pick pick probably with this, it'll be 117 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 4: over twenty braids so far. 118 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 2: We walk over to a cluster of birch trees. Inside 119 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 2: is a small fire pit house. Has our dad built 120 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 2: this setup, including the wooden benches surrounding the fire. He 121 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 2: lights a pipe as we sit down. 122 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 3: This is so nice out here. 123 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 4: It's nice to be able to just be in a 124 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 4: nice little secluded spot. Fire is not really going to 125 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 4: go in right here, and that's nice and quiet. 126 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 2: Hall is thirty two. His full name is Howard Cameron Junr. 127 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 2: Which is fitting because Hall really takes after my dad. 128 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 2: They look alike with their jet black hair and brown skin, 129 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 2: but Hal's very different than my dad was at his age. 130 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 2: He's easygoing and gentle. A few months ago, Hal shared 131 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 2: that story about my dad beating up the priest on Facebook, 132 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 2: and as soon as I read the post. I couldn't 133 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:32,319 Speaker 2: stop thinking about it. I called Hal on the phone, 134 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 2: and then I decided to come home with a microphone. 135 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 2: But interviewing your brother is kind of weird. 136 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:38,839 Speaker 3: What is your job? 137 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 4: Cultural resource support worker? That is basically this, it's a blend, 138 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 4: even a quit. 139 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 2: Do you think you'll stay here? 140 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 4: I don't know, Like I I think. 141 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,839 Speaker 2: The truth is, i haven't spent that much time with Hell. 142 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 2: I'm twelve years older than him. I didn't grow up 143 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 2: together because we have different moms, and it feels like 144 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 2: we had different dads too. 145 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 5: Late. 146 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 4: Dad and I were pretty we were pretty close, so 147 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 4: like I was always like kind of by his hip, 148 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 4: and like we spend so much time together. So I 149 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 4: remember lots of like doing things with him and like 150 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 4: him taking a sweet glass picking and things like that. 151 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:27,679 Speaker 4: Like I remember like just having heart to heart with 152 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 4: laid dad. 153 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 2: The way Hal talks about our dad feels foreign to me. 154 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,199 Speaker 2: I sometimes feel a little uncomfortable even calling him dad, 155 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 2: not just because I didn't spend much time with him, 156 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 2: but because the man I remember didn't feel like a dad. 157 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 2: I only have a few memories of him from when 158 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 2: I was a kid, and I don't think any of 159 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 2: them are good. Some are hazy impressions of his presence, 160 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 2: of what it felt like to be near him, Like 161 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 2: I can picture him sitting in a volue armchair, one 162 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 2: that swivels or rocks. He's watching TV and eating radishes 163 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 2: out of the bag, his jaw muscles clenching with every bite. 164 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:16,199 Speaker 2: I remember how tense I felt, how small and quiet 165 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,959 Speaker 2: I tried to make myself when he was around, how 166 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 2: I tried to avoid whatever it was that would set 167 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 2: him off. There are also memories that are very clear. 168 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 2: Most of them are at night, when I'd be woken 169 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 2: up by his bursts of anger, the sounds of his 170 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 2: violence filling the house, filling my head. I remember flashes 171 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 2: running away from him, me and my mom, dipping into alleys, 172 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 2: hiding from him, trying to get to the safety of 173 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 2: a relative's house. So when he and my mom split 174 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 2: up when I was seven, it was a relief. It 175 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:57,080 Speaker 2: was like we escaped. And as an adult, I didn't 176 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,839 Speaker 2: see my dad very often. When I did, I could 177 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 2: see that he had changed, that he was a different 178 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:06,720 Speaker 2: father to my younger brothers and sisters. But I was cautious. 179 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 2: Whenever I saw my dad, he would tell me that 180 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 2: he loved me, but we never talked on the phone, 181 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 2: and we only saw each other once every few years. 182 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 2: My memories of him from my childhood were enough to 183 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,960 Speaker 2: make me want to keep my distance, and I've kept 184 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 2: that distance from my dad. But there's something about the 185 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 2: story of him pulling over the priest that feels like 186 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 2: a clue, one that could help me figure out why 187 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 2: he was the way he was. 188 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. Actually, I don't know how the 189 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 4: conversation came about, but I remember where we were driving, 190 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 4: and then he started talking about how he saw a 191 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 4: vehicle driving on the highway and it's kind of swerving, 192 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 4: so he figured that they're impaired. 193 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 2: How says it was about ten years ago that my 194 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 2: dad told him the story. 195 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 4: So he went he pulled them over, and when he 196 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:02,960 Speaker 4: walked up to the window asked for their identification or 197 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 4: driver's license, he recognized him as being one of the 198 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 4: priests that and he said one of the priests that 199 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 4: abused me in residential school. He ended up like taking 200 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,719 Speaker 4: him out of the vehicle and beating the shit out 201 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 4: of him in that moment. I guess he just didn't 202 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 4: care what the consequences were. 203 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 3: And what did he say happened? 204 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,559 Speaker 4: He thought for sure there would be a call to 205 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,840 Speaker 4: his commanding officer and that would be the end of 206 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 4: his career. But there's no call or anything came in. 207 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:39,319 Speaker 2: What was his mood when he was telling you that. 208 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 4: Like no, no regrets, no remorse for what he had done, 209 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:56,199 Speaker 4: and this was an instance where justice was taken into 210 00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 4: our own hands. I felt this like pride. It's almost 211 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,680 Speaker 4: I wanted to like warrior cry. I feel like that 212 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,839 Speaker 4: that pride. 213 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 2: I can understand why Hell feels pride when he thinks 214 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: of that story, but that's not what I felt. I 215 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 2: felt sick because immediately I thought of my dad as 216 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,719 Speaker 2: the boy he was at residential school. Did you get 217 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 2: a sense of what kind of abuse he endured? 218 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 4: He shared a book like he did like like experience, 219 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 4: like sexual abuse. 220 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 2: That was my fear when I read Hell's post. When 221 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 2: I first heard it was a priest, my dad pulled over. 222 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 2: I knew my dad went to a residential school, but 223 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 2: I never thought about what it was like for him, 224 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 2: which is surprising given the amount of time I've spent 225 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 2: reporting on what happened to children there. They were called schools, 226 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,440 Speaker 2: but the focus wasn't really education. They were funded by 227 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 2: the federal government and most were run by the Catholic Church. 228 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 2: It was a perfect union. The government wanted to quell 229 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 2: Indigenous resistance and continue its colonization of Canada, and the 230 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 2: church was eager to indoctrinate as many Indigenous children as 231 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 2: it could. Residential schools became machines of assimilation. They separated 232 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 2: Indigenous kids as young as four years old from their 233 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 2: families and communities to get rid of the Indian problem, 234 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 2: to strip away our culture, our language, our very identities. 235 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 2: There were more than one hundred schools that operated for 236 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:40,040 Speaker 2: over one hundred years. Generations and generations of kids were 237 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 2: forced to go. There were at least twenty residential schools 238 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 2: in Saskatchewan alone. One of them was the Saint Michael's 239 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 2: Indian Residential School in Duck Lake. I think that's where 240 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 2: my dad first crossed paths with the priests who abused him. 241 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 2: I drove past it on my way to househouse. It 242 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 2: was a big, red brick building, three or four stories high. 243 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,240 Speaker 2: It always looked to me like an abandoned hospital, like 244 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 2: something out of a horror movie. Saint Michael's was one 245 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 2: of the last schools to close in nineteen ninety six, 246 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 2: and then the truth about residential schools began trickling out 247 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 2: about the rampant neglect and abuse that happened inside school walls, 248 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 2: abuse often inflicted by the priests and nuns who ran them. 249 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 2: Very few were ever held responsible. In two thousand and eight, 250 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 2: Canada established a Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Thousands of residential 251 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 2: school survivors testified about the physical and sexual abuse they endured, 252 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 2: and other horrific discoveries came to light. At some schools, 253 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 2: nutritional experiments were carried out on children. One school used 254 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 2: a homemade electric chair as a form of punishment. The 255 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 2: Truth and Reconciliation Commission found that what happened in residential 256 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 2: school was cultural genocide, and last spring, ground penetrating radar 257 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 2: found what are believed to be the remains of two 258 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 2: hundred and fifteen children on the grounds of the Kamloops 259 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 2: Indian Residential School in British Columbia. It made international news 260 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 2: and it seemed like people were finally starting to pay 261 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 2: attention to what survivors have been saying for decades. It's 262 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 2: been said that there's not a single Indigenous person in 263 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 2: Canada who's not been touched by the legacy of residential schools. 264 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 2: And I know that's true. I felt it the moment 265 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 2: I heard it, But I've never connected the dots in 266 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 2: my own family. I've done this reporting for years, but 267 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 2: when it comes to individual schools like Saint Michael's and 268 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 2: individual stories like my dad's, there's still so much that's unknown. 269 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 2: It's like the biggest open secret that we just don't 270 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 2: talk about. But my brother Hal saw how residential school 271 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 2: haunted our dad throughout his life. He told me it 272 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 2: came up in unexpected ways that even the most mundane 273 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,160 Speaker 2: things would remind him. 274 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 4: I remember we started walking up steps and there's like 275 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 4: that black metal or that cage kind of step and yeah, 276 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 4: and it kind of like echoes when you step on it. 277 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 4: I got to the top and I was going to 278 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 4: open the door, and I looked back and he was 279 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 4: like at this top step and he was like he 280 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 4: had the railing and he was like kind of like 281 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 4: hunched over and like looking down, like focusing on something. 282 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,439 Speaker 4: And then he kind of gathered himself as he went in. 283 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 4: But then on the way home, he told me that 284 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 4: that was a trigger for him because that was the 285 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,479 Speaker 4: same stairs that they had at the residential school. So 286 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 4: when he heard it, they brought him back because I 287 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,959 Speaker 4: was reminded him that he was going back in there, 288 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, just a man up stairs? 289 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:01,400 Speaker 4: What that did to him? 290 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 2: Learning that what happened to my dad at residential school 291 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 2: followed him his whole life, learning that he was sexually 292 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 2: abused by a priest. I can't unhear it. I can't 293 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 2: ignore it. I tried, but now I'm here sitting with 294 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 2: my brother Hal at my dad's old house, feeling like 295 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:24,119 Speaker 2: I need to understand how the father I remember was 296 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 2: impacted by the priest who abused him. Did he tell 297 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,440 Speaker 2: you who the priest was or anything about him? 298 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 3: No? 299 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,439 Speaker 4: He didn't know, no, or maybe he did. I just 300 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:40,919 Speaker 4: didn't like remember the name, but no. Yeah, I've only 301 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,440 Speaker 4: just created this image in my head of what this 302 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 4: person looks like. 303 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 3: What do you imagine? 304 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 4: He looks like he's in black and white, Like I 305 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 4: don't even see a complexion. It's just like this black 306 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 4: and white film. But it just has this like dark 307 00:18:54,720 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 4: rimmed glasses, very pale white hair, and has like really 308 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,639 Speaker 4: big intense eyes like you see people who have like 309 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 4: just hate in their eyes like that. 310 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 2: Now, that's how I imagine the priest too. One of 311 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 2: the last times I visited my dad was when I 312 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,360 Speaker 2: brought my six week old daughter home to meet my family. 313 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,399 Speaker 2: There's a photograph from that visit that I love. My 314 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 2: dad's smiling with his mouth open and looking up at 315 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 2: me while cradling my daughter in his arms. His hair 316 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 2: is black but starting to gray on the sides. He 317 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 2: looks strong and healthy. Eight months later, he was diagnosed 318 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 2: with incurable lung cancer, and we came home to see 319 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,400 Speaker 2: him again. By then, he had already lost a lot 320 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 2: of weight. I remember he was very sick, but he 321 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 2: sat up with us at the kitchen table and held 322 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 2: my girl in his lap. By February he was in 323 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,560 Speaker 2: the hospital and we were called in to say goodbye. 324 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 2: He was only fifty eight when he died. I saw 325 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 2: him three times that year. It was the most I'd 326 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 2: seen him since I was a kid. I had always 327 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,200 Speaker 2: imagined that at some point in my life I would 328 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,679 Speaker 2: take the time to get to know my dad, to 329 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 2: talk to him, to reconnect. When he died, I thought 330 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 2: I lost that chance, and I came to accept that 331 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 2: my understanding of him and our relationship was going to 332 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,719 Speaker 2: stay the way we left it. But now it feels 333 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 2: like a door has been cracked open, like there might 334 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,359 Speaker 2: be a chance to write a new story for me 335 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,440 Speaker 2: and my dad. I feel like the answers are here 336 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 2: for me if I want them, but I know unearthing 337 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 2: this story will also unearth a lot of painful memories, 338 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 2: not just for me but for my family. I need 339 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 2: their help to find out more about what happened to 340 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,240 Speaker 2: my dad, and I kind of feel like I need 341 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 2: their permission. Is that your garden? Oh nice? 342 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 3: What are you growing in the box here? 343 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 5: I have. 344 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 3: Beats? 345 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 2: Oh wow? 346 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,600 Speaker 3: What are you going to do with your beats? I'm 347 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:38,920 Speaker 3: I love Canada. 348 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 2: After leaving Hells, I drive over to my Aunti Ivy's 349 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 2: house in the reserve. My dad was one of fifteen 350 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:51,120 Speaker 2: Cameron kids. My Auntie Ivy is one of the younger siblings, 351 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 2: but she's become sort of a family caretaker, the one 352 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,919 Speaker 2: everyone turns to when they need help. She takes me 353 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,200 Speaker 2: over to her gazebo, where there's a table in hair 354 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 2: set up. Can I have some of this too? 355 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,920 Speaker 3: Yeah? Awesome? The coffee in the thermost keep up. 356 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 2: A few minutes later, my Auntie Leona arrives with her grandkids. 357 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 2: My Auntie Leona lives just across the road and must 358 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,919 Speaker 2: have heard we were having a visit. My aunties look alike. 359 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 2: They both have big smiles and long, long, dark hair. 360 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 2: My Auntie Ivy keeps hers in a braid, but my 361 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 2: Auntie Leona's is held up by a barette and flows 362 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 2: down her back. 363 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, our hair is anus. I can't have my hair down, 364 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 3: No drives me. And have my hair off like that, 365 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 3: I mean, in. 366 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 2: A braid, No, just drives me nuts. 367 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,159 Speaker 3: That's the only way people can tell us about. 368 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,879 Speaker 2: My Auntie Ivy's house was built behind another house that 369 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,359 Speaker 2: I remember well, my cook and Mary's house, my dad's mom. 370 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,800 Speaker 2: We lived with my cook and Mary for a while 371 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 2: when I was little. The yard where the grand kids 372 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,679 Speaker 2: are playing now is the same one that I played 373 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,919 Speaker 2: in and the same one that my dad played in 374 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:05,920 Speaker 2: when he was a kid. 375 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 5: I remember the one time I don't know what the 376 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 5: heck was going on, but anyway, there was an argument. 377 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 3: Somebody was standing on the on the porch go get. 378 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,200 Speaker 2: Him, or on the steps right here at this house, 379 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 2: At this house, my Auntie Ivy tells me about a 380 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 2: time when my dad and my uncle Ernie got into 381 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 2: an argument. 382 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 5: And Ernie grabbed the mop that was sitting in water 383 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 5: to slap this person with them. Your dad grabs a 384 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,640 Speaker 5: gun and Ernie is running zigzag down the road. 385 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 3: So you get. 386 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 2: The ability to laugh about things that are dark is 387 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,880 Speaker 2: a gift that all Cree people seem to have, especially 388 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 2: in my family. We're talking about my dad as a 389 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 2: boy taking a gun and shooting at his brother. My 390 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 2: uncle Ernie, he's the uncle I used to stay with 391 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 2: when I came home. He's my godfather, and in some 392 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 2: ways I was closer to him than to my dad. 393 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,400 Speaker 2: My uncle Ernie died last year, also of lung cancer. 394 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,560 Speaker 2: My aunties say that he and my dad were a 395 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,159 Speaker 2: lot alike. They were a few years apart in residential school, 396 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 2: and after school they both joined the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. 397 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 2: I don't know much about that period in my dad's 398 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 2: life other than it was around the time I was born. 399 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 2: Do you know why my dad joined the RCMP. 400 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,360 Speaker 3: No, I think he did. They were doing a recruiting thing. 401 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,919 Speaker 2: A few years ago, the RCMP tweeted out a photo 402 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 2: from its archives. It was of my dad. It was 403 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 2: jarring to scroll past a picture of him in my 404 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 2: Twitter feed, but I instantly recognized him in the photo. 405 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 2: He looks just like my little brother. He's standing next 406 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,400 Speaker 2: to an old police car in his uniform. He has 407 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,640 Speaker 2: one hand on his hip and he's looking very serious. 408 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 2: His eyes are narrowed and his jaw muscles are clenched. 409 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 2: I retweeted the picture and a bunch of people were 410 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 2: bonded with questions like when was the photo taken, where 411 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 2: was he stationed? Which division was he in? I couldn't 412 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,640 Speaker 2: answer any of them, and now when I look at it, 413 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,800 Speaker 2: I have my own questions like was this taken before 414 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,360 Speaker 2: or after he beat up the priest? Did you guys 415 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,239 Speaker 2: see Hell's status about my dad? When he was an 416 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 2: officer and he pulled over a priest residential. 417 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 3: He told me the story, but not at the time. 418 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, What did he say about it? 419 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 3: Well, he just was kind of proud of himself because 420 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 3: of what he did. I just see kind of I 421 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 3: don't really remember that. That's the total story, though. Telling 422 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:45,639 Speaker 3: that story is a big smile. 423 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,120 Speaker 2: Did he ever say who it was? Which priests? 424 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 3: No? I don't remember the priest. My brothers. They didn't 425 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,200 Speaker 3: really talk about things that. 426 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 5: Happened, Like even to this day, they don't talk about, yes, 427 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,840 Speaker 5: what happened to coming by residential school. 428 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 3: Nobody just don't want to talk about it. 429 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 2: I can understand that feeling of not wanting to talk 430 00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 2: about painful memories from your childhood, because for a long 431 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 2: time I didn't want to talk about the memories I 432 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 2: have of my dad. I think in part because I'm 433 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 2: still dealing with them. I still sometimes have dreams of 434 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 2: being chased, of trying to get away from some imminent danger. 435 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,000 Speaker 2: I wake up with my heart racing and fear and 436 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 2: adrenaline coursing through my body. Despite the lingering effects of 437 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 2: his anger on my life, I've never fully understood where 438 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 2: that came from in him, But it seems like having 439 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 2: a microphone is giving us all permission to talk about 440 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 2: things we've never talked about before. I remember my dad 441 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,960 Speaker 2: drinking when I was a kid, and that he. 442 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 5: Was very he was mean, abusive, Yeah yeah, yeah, very 443 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 5: short temper. 444 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. 445 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 5: You have to be very careful of what you said 446 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,479 Speaker 5: or did, because yeah, you would fly off the handle 447 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,240 Speaker 5: like like that, you know. 448 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, even when he was sober. 449 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, like, my kids don't know what we went 450 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 5: through and they need to be educated. 451 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 3: I don't know how they're going to get it. I 452 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 3: don't know how what's going to be the outcome of this. 453 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 5: But I think that that's our error as parents, because 454 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 5: that's what we were taught. I never told them anything 455 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 5: about residential school. 456 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 2: All of my dad's brothers and sisters went to the 457 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 2: Saint Michael's Indian Residential School. This is the first time 458 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,679 Speaker 2: I've heard any of them talk about. 459 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,880 Speaker 3: It, and I think that's where we went from. 460 00:27:53,960 --> 00:28:00,520 Speaker 5: Man, what we suffered they don't know about. I'm like, 461 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:05,679 Speaker 5: we had to endure that wasn't ours. They don't know 462 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:06,040 Speaker 5: about it. 463 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,879 Speaker 3: So stuff like that, to just try and bury, just 464 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,159 Speaker 3: to not think about it on it likes to affect 465 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 3: your life. 466 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, But the thing about trauma is that it doesn't 467 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:23,639 Speaker 2: often stay buried. It keeps popping up. And one of 468 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 2: the ways to heal is to talk about it. 469 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 3: It's the trauma that caused a lot of heartache. 470 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:36,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, and they always wonder why, Well, now you know. 471 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 2: Why I see you? Yeah, I should let you guys 472 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 2: go inside. It's getting cold out, are you cold? No? 473 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 2: I'm okay. I'm all right. The kids all go inside, 474 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 2: and I know I should let my aunties go into 475 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,480 Speaker 2: but I don't want to leave. Learning the story from 476 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 2: how and hearing my aunties talk about my dad is 477 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:03,080 Speaker 2: helping me realized that his life went beyond my bad memories, 478 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 2: that there's more to his story. 479 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 5: He had to find that and he had to work 480 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 5: on it and to become who he was, because he 481 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 5: was very humble at the enes, like not the mean 482 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 5: Howard that I knew growing up. He was very gentle, 483 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 5: especially with the kids, Like I couldn't believe that amount 484 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 5: of patience he had with the kids, And I said, what, 485 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 5: That's not the Howard that I grew up with. 486 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 2: I'm soaking up every story, every insight my aunties are 487 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:42,000 Speaker 2: giving me, talking and laughing and crying with them. As 488 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 2: the light fades to black, I'm starting to see what 489 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 2: I've been missing, my dad, my family, this place, and 490 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,560 Speaker 2: I'm going to find out that what happened to us 491 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 2: is part of a far bigger story than I realized. 492 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,920 Speaker 2: It's pitch black when I finally leave my Auntie's house 493 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,480 Speaker 2: and get into my car to drive the hour back 494 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 2: to my hotel in Saskatoon. Oh my god, Okay, it 495 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 2: is ten forty one. I got to my Auntie these 496 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 2: at six forty five, I think, so I was there 497 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 2: for like four hours. It was just. 498 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 4: So hard to. 499 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 2: Describe how I'm feeling because it's such a mixture of 500 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 2: emotions and that I like, it feels amazing on one hand, 501 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 2: because I feel like I'm remembering a part of myself 502 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:43,000 Speaker 2: with every conversation and talking with them, it feels familiar. 503 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,280 Speaker 2: And then also obviously the people that were talking about 504 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 2: with my dad, my cooka Mary, you know, like those 505 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,240 Speaker 2: were people that I spent a lot of time I'm 506 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 2: with and I was closer to, but that who I 507 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,800 Speaker 2: then really kind of lost when I was seven and 508 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:12,160 Speaker 2: we left here. And so it feels so good to 509 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 2: kind of be reminded of them and reconnect with them 510 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 2: all in a way. But then it's also just so 511 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:30,560 Speaker 2: sad because because my dad passed away and the only 512 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 2: way I can get to know him now is through 513 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 2: these interviews and these conversations with people who knew him 514 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 2: better than I did. My dad was stolen from me 515 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 2: because his childhood was stolen from him by residential school, 516 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 2: but also by a man in a black robe their 517 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 2: lives first intersected at residential school when my dad was 518 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 2: a boy and the priest a grown man, and then 519 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:08,920 Speaker 2: they collided again years later one night on the side 520 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:13,000 Speaker 2: of a dark road in Saskatchewan. My dad's life was 521 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 2: cut short when he passed away in twenty thirteen. But 522 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 2: what happened to this priest? 523 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 3: Who was he? 524 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 2: And can I find him? This season on Stolen Surviving 525 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:30,840 Speaker 2: Saint Michael's. 526 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 4: I was so used to getting up in the morning, 527 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 4: running outside, playing with my dog, go and visit my grandparents, 528 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 4: and all that was taken away. 529 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 2: Did you understand any English when you arrived? 530 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 3: Nothing at all, Connie. 531 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 5: Nothing. 532 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 2: They wanted to kill the Indian in me, They sure did. 533 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 3: He's one of that said he was sexual? 534 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 4: That used by a priest? 535 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 2: Did he say it was a priest? 536 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 3: I said, you know what? Father, Hey, track you down? 537 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 4: What is this? 538 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 2: It looks like there are photos of boys and dressing? 539 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 2: Can you sometimes lie? Are you lying to me now? 540 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 2: Stolen Surviving Saint Michael's is a Gimblet Media and Spotify 541 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,480 Speaker 2: original production. The show is hosted and reported by me 542 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 2: Connie Walker, additional reporting by Betty Anne Adam, reporting and 543 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:37,800 Speaker 2: producing by Chantal Belbrichard, Max Green and Anya Schultz. Our 544 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 2: supervising producer is Allen Frankman. Our editor is Devin Taylor. 545 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:47,280 Speaker 2: Our consulting editor is Heather Evans. Additional editorial support from 546 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:53,120 Speaker 2: Lydia Polgreen, Rayhan Harmancy, Jonathan Goldstein and Sayi Tjan Thomas. 547 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 2: Fact checking by Naomi Barr. Original music by Emmamonger, Chris 548 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 2: Jerkson and Raymond and Cameron Scoring, sound design and mixing 549 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:08,319 Speaker 2: by Emmamonger. Music supervision by Liz Fulton. Legal support from 550 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:13,239 Speaker 2: Iris Fisher, Natalie Russell, Whitney Potter and Rachel Strom. If 551 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,799 Speaker 2: you have information that you'd like to share about Saint 552 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,799 Speaker 2: Michael's Indian Residential School in Duck Lake, Saskatchewan, you can 553 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:24,120 Speaker 2: write to us at Stolen at spotify dot com. If 554 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:28,840 Speaker 2: you're a survivor or intergenerational survivor of Canada's residential school 555 00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,239 Speaker 2: system and you need help, there's a twenty four hour 556 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:36,120 Speaker 2: support line you can call one eight sixty six nine 557 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 2: two five four four one nine. And if you were 558 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,840 Speaker 2: someone you know as dealing with physical or sexual violence, 559 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,759 Speaker 2: you can find resources in your area by going to 560 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:50,080 Speaker 2: spotify dot com slash stolen thank you for listening,