WEBVTT - 1 in 4 Women Have Rejected A Marriage Proposal: Why “She Said No” 0:00:02.120 --> 0:00:05.080 Hey, that folks. It is Sunday, August sixteenth, and it 0:00:05.240 --> 0:00:11.200 wasn't too terribly long ago that I proposed to Amy Roebuck. 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:15.160 She said yes. Turns out I'm one of the lucky ones. 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:18.599 And with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and tej. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:20.840 You just told me the stat before we started. I 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:24.200 was shocked to hear, baby, how many women actually say no? 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:24.640 Yeah? 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:27.720 This shocked me too, And I looked at multiple different 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:30.760 sources and they all had the same number. One in 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:34.440 four women doesn't say they have turned down our proposal. 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:35.640 In their lives. That's so hot. 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:36.519 That's high, isn't it. 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:36.840 Men? 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:40.160 I know men are nervous before they proposed. With that statistic, 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:41.760 you should be sweating. 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:45.680 One out of four you got age twenty five percent 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:48.520 chance of rejection. That's high. Wow, that's high. 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:50.800 That's crazy. 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:52.680 That what am I? Okay? How about say I'll be 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:54.760 I would wonder if a lot of those women say 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:56.600 no and then they still end up getting married later 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:59.080 Maybe it wasn't the right time or oh answer is yes, 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:00.800 day okay, then maybe that's not so bad. 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:02.560 But that sounds is yes to that? 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:05.560 So yeah, actually we are almost coming up on our 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.640 one year, proposal versary is that a thing? 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:11.000 It's not, and we're not going to make. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:12.720 It one, all right. 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:17.600 So I started looking into this story because Yahoo had 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:20.400 something up this week about men sharing their stories about 0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:24.160 proposal rejections. I got into it. It was fascinating, It 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:26.959 was interesting. Most of them said they were grateful that 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:30.000 she ended up saying no, But it was just fascinating 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:32.880 looking at the moments that don't go as expected and 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:35.000 the whole notion that rejection is protection. 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:39.800 We hear that all the time. This was absolutely the case. 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:43.360 So we are going to get into a study from 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:46.800 psychology today about why women say no, and it was 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:49.520 women because I think they said in the ones they studied, 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:51.800 it was like ninety eight percent of these were men 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:55.000 proposing to women. Of course, but some of the stories 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:56.280 I just wanted to read some of them to you 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.720 because I wanted to get your reaction. I thought this 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:02.680 was and some of these actually play perfectly into the 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:06.680 reasons why women say no. The first one, my significant 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:09.160 other said no to me. She said marriage is an 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:11.919 archaic institution and she sees no reason why if we 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:13.959 want to stay together forever, we can't do it without 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:14.560 a contract. 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:16.600 That's only you. Rauh. You should have known ahead of 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:17.880 time how your woman felt. 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:19.640 About that, so she said no. He said that was 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:20.600 in two thousand and nine. 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:21.640 Should have never asked. 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:24.000 We have three kids in a house together now and 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:26.359 we both wear wedding rings, still not married. 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:30.480 We were actually considering that road. 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:34.480 Yeah, and then I thought better of it. 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:37.280 Why do you think better of it? 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.320 Because there does you? This is. 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:42.080 Right. 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:48.000 I've been married twice before. No right, no disrespect to 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:51.239 those previous unions, rolled, because this is the first time 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:56.680 where I have wanted to get I want to be 0:02:56.800 --> 0:03:00.120 your husband, not based on well this is the next step, 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.400 where this is the right thing, or this has been official, 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:05.080 or she's gonna leave it's been too many years, like 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:07.079 there's always something, and sometimes you get married because you 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:08.639 think it's the right thing to do. Of course it's 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:12.320 the right next step. I just want to We don't 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:15.760 have any reason at all, nope. 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.040 That we need to get married, and yeah we both 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:19.040 want to gain no. 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:23.040 Kids to deal with and their last names. There ain't nothing, 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:26.760 but I want to. So, yes, it is different, and 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:28.320 I knew what the answer was going to be when 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:31.520 I propose. You should always know when it's like lawyers, right, 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:33.079 don't ask a question you don't know the answer to. 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:35.720 We'll get into that too. That's a part of that's 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:38.160 a part of the advice. This is one of my favorites. 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:39.240 It was just one line. 0:03:39.440 --> 0:03:41.520 She came out of the closet while I was on 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:42.400 vended knee. 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:44.840 Wow, I mean again, that's all you, bro. 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.240 I feel like it's good to know though there were. 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.080 Never any signs, really right. 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:54.840 I think maybe that's one of those. Upon reflection, Yeah, see, 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:55.680 that's tough. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:57.000 That's tough. 0:03:57.160 --> 0:04:00.400 I drove her to I. 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:03.440 Was ready to marry her, this woman and walk down 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:05.680 the aisle with her, and the whole time she doesn't 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:06.600 even like men. 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:08.560 What was I missing? 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:08.800 Oh? 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:10.400 You got to do a lot of self reflection on 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:10.720 that one. 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:13.240 Okay. So the two you've really so far have to 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:17.640 do with things that should have been known previously. 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:21.040 Yes, correct, okay, yes, And this third one is fun 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:25.760 because again this goes straight into the why my friend 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:27.880 proposed to his girlfriend at red lobster in front of 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:28.600 his whole family. 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.680 She felt pressured, of course, and said yes. She broke 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:33.279 up with him shortly before the wedding. 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:36.200 Okay, I thought you were going to say shortly before dessert. 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.400 Nobody wants that. Where'd you get proposed in front of 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:42.520 his whole family while they were serving hut up biscuits. 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:47.160 I know that one made me laugh. I was thinking 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:48.640 of you. I know you worked at Red. 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:52.080 Lobster, the whole thing, not a proposal place. 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:57.039 Yes, where you do it matters, how you do it matters, 0:04:57.160 --> 0:04:58.200 when you do it matters. 0:04:58.240 --> 0:04:59.920 We're going to get into all of the whys right now. 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:01.239 This is so interesting. 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:04.680 So Psychology Today looked at hundreds of proposal stories and 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:09.679 they studied why some of them were rejected. So the first, 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:12.280 they said, by far, the number one reason why she 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:16.799 said no, too young, not ready. By far, the most 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:19.400 rejections happened because the women thought they were just too 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:21.960 young or they just were not ready for marriage yet. 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:24.080 So it's not necessarily you're not the right guy, I 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.240 don't want to marry you. It's not they're not saying 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:29.320 I want this relationship to end. I guess it's difficult 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:32.279 after you get rejected. 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:35.040 And we'll get into those numbers in just a bit. 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:38.159 But there were stories on this article. In that article 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:42.080 about how mom said like a child's telling the story 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:43.000 of their parents' proposal. 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:45.560 Mom said no, but then two years later she said yes. 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:47.520 I mean so that is one of those cases where 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:50.039 maybe just let it go, let it breathe for a 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:50.480 little bit. 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:52.880 We're gonna have to go back and watch that movie 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:57.480 with our guy from White Lotus plays all the same, 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.800 arrogant guy. He proposed to someone and she said no, 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:02.360 the whole they're hiking, what what moviem I think about it? 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.960 That was called I'll get it, I'll get it because 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:06.080 it was a proposal. 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:10.640 And his feelings were very Oh that was so painful. 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:12.560 Yeah, and you knew she was going to say no, 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:14.520 and like, no, don't do it, don't do it, don't 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:14.760 do it. 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:16.359 She's not ready. Okay. 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:21.120 Number two, the proposal was public. When men propose in 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:24.440 front of other people, their proposals were more likely to 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:25.280 be rejected. 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:28.880 I'm shocked. I thought it would be the opposite, they said. 0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:32.520 Other proposals that were accepted other people were present only 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:35.560 about a third of the time. Of the proposals that 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:39.120 were rejected, other people were present nearly half the time 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:44.480 forty five percent. That that is that means you really 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:46.400 really don't want to get married. 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.160 If you say no, in front of an entire group 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:49.599 of people. 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:53.640 What would you say? Is that possibly a signal of 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:57.080 something else going in a relationship if somebody chooses to 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.880 have an audience around like in that private, that that 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:02.640 moment and to each his or her own and yes 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:04.440 you maybe sometimes you want it. They don't. They do 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.760 it a lot at uh Christmas and the family gatherings. 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:09.440 People propose to I would actually say, my friends who 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:12.920 are Italian Americans, it is absolutely I have noticed a 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:15.640 tradition where they will gather all their friends, all their 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:19.600 family and then it's like it's almost expected that they're 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:22.360 waiting and then there's a party afterwards, and it's a 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:26.560 big public thing. For me, that would be terrible. I 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:28.840 would never want a public proposal. 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:31.000 Yeah, I wonder what the numbers are on the te 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:32.920 I bet there are very few that are rejected. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:36.560 I mean they knew ahead of time, almost certainly, but. 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:39.720 They oftentimes we talk about family, how important sometimes families are. 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:42.600 I mean, you're a girl over in New Jersey. It's 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:47.680 a big deal that I can understand robes, but a 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:50.840 public like you are really you got it? I would 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.360 there should be one hundred percent success rate because if 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:55.640 you got the balls to propose in front of people. 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:59.360 You should know for sure she's gonna say yes enthusiastically. 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:01.440 Yeah, And I guess, oh, my goodness, because you can 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:04.280 even tell even when, like we've seen the stadium proposals 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.920 where a young woman will say like yeah, but you 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:08.080 can see on her face. 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:09.200 It's not gonna happen. 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:12.040 Nobody does it in terrible woman wants that. 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:14.680 I don't know. It's not me and I don't really 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:16.160 know any of my friends who would prefer that. 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:19.800 That's pressure. Spotlight is on you and you have to 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:20.320 say yes. 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:23.920 Well apparently not apparently not okay. 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:27.560 Number three, this blows my mind. The couple never discussed 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:31.400 marriage before the proposal. Every time a proposal was accepted, 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.720 the couple had already discussed marriage. Of the proposals that 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:38.080 were rejected, forty of them had not talked about it. 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:38.880 And you deserve that. 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:39.679 Why would a. 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:43.320 Guy ask a woman to marry him without talking about 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:44.960 the future ahead of time. 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:47.160 Maybe want to be a surprise, getting. 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.120 A feel for where she stood on things. 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:52.080 Maybe wanted to be a surprise come out of nowhere. 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:53.920 Well he got surprised. 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:56.240 If nothing else, don't you need to have some idea 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:57.199 of the ring she wants. 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:03.520 Uh, that's to just that. More on that to come. Okay. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:06.720 The couple had not been dated for as many years, 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:09.720 so when proposals were accepted, the couple had been dating 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:13.560 for nearly twice as many years as when proposals were rejected. 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:16.320 So the average I was surprised by this four years 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:17.360 and they were. 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:19.760 That was like the the one that were most people 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:20.320 said yes. 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:22.960 Two years was where there were more rejections. 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:26.080 So they were just saying, the longer you're dating, the 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:27.760 more likely it is to be accepted. 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:29.199 That makes sense because. 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:32.200 If she's stuck around waiting for you to propose, she's 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:33.240 probably gonna say yes. 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:38.200 Ah, okay, I didn't even think about it like that. Okay, 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:39.679 I got you all right. 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:42.880 Number five, the man doesn't have a ring. It wasn't 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.800 even that they didn't like the ring. There are men 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:47.800 who propose without a ring. 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:49.800 And if you want statistics, men here it is. 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.240 When the man did not offer a ring, his proposal 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:55.040 was eight and a half times more likely to be rejected, 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:59.560 just eight eight and a half times more likely to 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:01.960 be reject And how about this, if he did not 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:05.600 get down on one knee, his proposal was four zero 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:07.800 point seven times more likely to be rejected. 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:11.079 Okay, but you down on one knee. Nobody's getting down 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:12.800 on a knee without a ring though, right, that's not 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:13.480 what we're talking about. 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:15.120 Yeah, you're right when you get down on one knee. 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.480 Although some people, you know, what they do, like this 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.680 is a promise ring and they'll bring like a little 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:21.319 bubblegum thing or a string. 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:23.160 I've seen you present that from a knee. 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:24.600 I have seen people do on a knee. 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.640 Yes, Like maybe it's just in a movie or on 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:28.960 a reality show, but I have a vision of that. 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:31.240 I'm like, dude, if you're gonna do that, go ahead 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:33.200 and get a ring. Maybe we've seen it on ninety 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:35.559 day fiance when they don't have a lot of money 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.360 and they like remember the guy who did the ring 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:39.200 and tied it around. 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:39.560 On a soccer field. 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:41.320 Yeah, but he got down on one knee and he 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:43.920 tied a string around her finger. 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:45.160 And I was like, wait, that's all I had to do. 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:49.679 No again, eight and a half times more likely to 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.200 be rejected if you don't have a ring. 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:54.600 Okay, on that point, can you ever propose without a ring? 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:58.760 I think you can if you're I don't know if 0:10:58.760 --> 0:11:00.480 there's a reason why neither one of you have any 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:04.360 money and there's a there's a promise for something later, But. 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:07.440 It seems like that shouldn't be a proposal that's almost 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.319 a discussion, like the formality of getting down on a 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:14.120 knee and saying will you marry me? Yes? Now, what 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:16.079 do we do? We want to go lunch? I mean 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:18.880 that there had to be some ceremonial something in that 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:22.400 moment that signifies that we are now more than we were. 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:24.880 I agree. I think that's important for me. It would 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:25.360 be important. 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:27.000 And it's not even like it doesn't have to be 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:30.640 some like huge, you know, diamond ring. It could be 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.319 if you don't have the money or the funds or whatever. 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:35.480 You can't tell me you can't go out and buy 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:39.080 a thirty dollars you know, gold plated band or whatever, 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.880 just as a symbol and say this will be replaced 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.320 by something when we build something more and better. But 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:46.560 just I think it's a signal that I took the 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:50.280 time to consider you, to find something to recognize that 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.280 we are now in a different Yeah, it's a gesture. 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:55.520 It doesn't have to be an expensive gesture, but to 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:58.840 not have one to me, speaks volumes about your level 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.320 of preparedness, how you regardless of preparedness. 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:03.520 I just all of that would also that would all 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:04.079 bother me. 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:09.040 Generally do most well. I guess how large of a 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:11.959 segment of the population has the feeling that it doesn't matter, 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:16.360 It shouldn't matter, this is a stupid tradition. Rings and 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:20.320 signifying this and showing that I'm now your blah blah blah. 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.200 I mean, what is there a good ground swell of 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:25.719 support for that mindset or is that just something we'd 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.760 like to say out loud in public but secretly every 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:30.559 single woman wants the biggest ring possible. 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:33.400 I think that the d I think the last thing 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:34.400 you just said is the truth. 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:36.679 Nobody will admit that. 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.160 Nobody will admit that, because then now you're shallow and 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:44.280 all you care about is the bling on your finger. No, 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:45.920 no one wants to admit I mean, some people will 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:50.160 happily admit that, but I think most people don't. All right, 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:53.880 And finally, one of the reasons why they found that 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:57.360 women say no the man proposed in an attempt to 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:58.720 save the relationship. 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:03.720 That makes sense, though I was like, yep, I totally 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:06.040 get that. Yes, they said. 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:09.160 One of the reasons that was mentioned why proposals were 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:12.160 rejected that the man was doing it to save the relationship. 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.120 The couple was having problems and the man thought a 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:15.200 marriage proposal. 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:15.520 Would solve them. 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.120 It's kind of like when you joke to me if 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:19.920 if we're like, you know, we're in a little bit 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:21.839 of a funk, You'll say, you know what, we should 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:22.360 have a baby. 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:23.480 That'll fix everything. 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.199 Once a weekly say. 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:28.040 That to me at least once a week, and then 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:31.400 I start laughing, like, you know what we should we 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:32.480 should definitely have a baby. 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:33.600 Is that'll fix it all? 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:36.160 That's always say, you know, things will be better when 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:38.040 the baby gets it all right. 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:40.120 When we come back, we're gonna tell you you you 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:44.559 hit on this a little bit. You would be surprised 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:48.400 at just what what the percentage is of people who 0:13:48.440 --> 0:14:02.120 continue to date after she says no. Welcome back everyone 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:05.560 to Amy and TJ as we talk about rejection is protection. 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:07.440 Yes, we were shocked. 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.640 To find out that one in four women say they 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:13.199 have turned down a proposal in their lifetime. 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:15.880 And there have been some fascinating looks that just the. 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:20.680 Stories behind the nose and the whys behind the nose? 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:22.120 Why do women say no? And yes? 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:25.240 I think all of them were Yes, they made a 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:27.480 lot of sense and I think most women would agree. Yep, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.280 I need a ring. I want you down on one knee. 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.479 I don't want you to do this to fix the relationship. 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:36.560 Let's not make this public. Let's have dated at least 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:38.920 for a decent amount of time. And why don't you 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:42.840 have discussed this before we actually go through with the anails. 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:44.840 I'm not sure if I know the answer. And this 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:46.840 is a very big mistake. I should never do this. 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:48.320 And if this doesn't go well, I'm going to edit 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:53.680 it out. I don't think have you rejected a marriage 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:54.600 proposal place I have not? 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.840 Okay, no, no, And look. 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.000 So my chances were high you're gonna say this. 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:00.920 No. 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:02.680 We had discussed it before. 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:07.960 Yes, yeah, you know we didn't discuss time. Well, we discussed. 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:10.760 Marriage, but I told you I wanted to marry, and. 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.280 I've told you plenty of times. Yes, so we had, 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.880 but we didn't go but timing. We didn't do anything else, 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.760 but we had an understanding that this would be accepted. 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:21.120 You shocked the hell out of me. I was not 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:23.880 prepared for it. I did not know you were preparing 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:24.280 to do it. 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:25.920 In fact, I actually. 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:30.480 I I'm rarely shocked in my life. I was genuinely 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:33.840 shocked on that day, and it was a it was 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:34.600 a good shock. 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:38.640 I was like blown away. I immediately started crying happy tears. 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:39.160 I was. 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:41.800 I was, Yeah, you did a really good job. 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:44.600 But we had talked a lot about wanting obviously to 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:46.400 be married and to continue our lives together. 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:48.480 And I had told you I wanted to be your wife. 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:50.440 Now this is as close as I am going to get. 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.600 We have been very, very protective of our engagement story. 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:57.520 This is as far as I will go, robes, as 0:15:57.600 --> 0:15:59.640 far as I will go, because it goes in line 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:03.280 with some thing you were talking about that should happen 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:07.680 in public with people all around And that's all I'm 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:08.120 going to say. 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:08.600 That is true. 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:14.400 It did happen in public with people all around us, 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:15.040 and yet. 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:16.600 It was private and it worked. 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.840 Yep, Because yes, that was actually perfect. It was a 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:23.320 perfect public setting. That was that we were still allowed 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:24.400 to have a private moment. 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:28.000 No one knew around us what had just happened. 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:30.320 That is funny. There's one I don't know if we 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:33.040 will ever actually we should commit. I don't ever want 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:36.760 that story out. I don't. But there are people who 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:40.239 are for they will are a part of our relationship 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:41.520 that have no idea. 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:43.520 Yeah, that's true, that is true. 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.880 No, And this was there was some shocking or surprising 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:51.800 parts to this survey that was done, This study that 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:55.440 was done. Would you be surprised to hear that thirty 0:16:55.560 --> 0:17:01.080 one percent of couples where she rejected his propose went 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:02.640 on to continue to date. 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:05.280 That sounds right, And you know what, I wouldn't have 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:10.280 been surprised if that was a little higher. That makes 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:12.480 just it's a timing issue. It's tough to get past, 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:14.600 I suppose, Robes, because you said going to date, you 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:16.960 didn't say going to marry. Is there a different stat 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:17.440 on that one. 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.919 Some of them eventually did marry, And I will say this, 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:24.760 on average the relationship lasted another two and a half years, 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.360 but in most cases it did end. 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.480 But in some cases they did go on to mary. 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:33.320 It's tough to get past that one. And also, Robes, 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.119 if someone says no to a proposal, there's probably a 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:40.200 good reason for it. Then maybe we need to flesh 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:41.800 out in the next couple of years. 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:45.399