WEBVTT - I'm Back Baby!!!! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:04.520 and The Black Effects. 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:15.760 Andy. 0:00:15.880 --> 0:00:18.160 Just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back, 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:20.880 Welcome back, y'all. Y'all haven't heard my voice in a while, 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:23.000 and I haven't done a podcast in a while, y'all. 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:25.119 Of course, I had a baby. Her name is Marley 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:28.360 sky Moore Tolliver. Yes, I hyphenated her name. She has 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:32.600 me and her dad's last name. And she was born 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:36.080 August twentieth to forty seven in the morning. My baby 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:39.840 is a Leo Lord and she is. She was seven 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:42.800 pounds and three ounces nineteen inches. My baby was a 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:45.320 long baby. My father is like six two sixty three 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:47.280 something like that. So I'm gonna have me as taller. 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:49.600 She's gonna be dunking on bitches. She backed up be 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:52.880 dunking on these bitches, okay, but real, she gonna be 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:55.720 a trained Olympian or something. We're gonna get at something 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:59.360 where her height is gonna matter. All right, But motherhood 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:03.200 has been great to me. It's been very challenging, y'all. Know. 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:05.280 I do have a twelve year old Ashton. He has 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:06.199 been amazing. 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:09.759 He is like a part of the village that is 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:13.520 helping us take care of Marley. He's happy to be 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:17.600 a big brother again. We know the first baby daddy, 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:20.920 little baby father. He got five kids. I think Ronan 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:22.240 is got fire up five. 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:23.560 Kids, and so he is. 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:26.039 Ashton is used to being a big brother, but not 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:28.480 used to mommy having a new baby. And I just 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:31.560 think he's just ecstatic that he can grow up in 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:33.959 the house with the baby this time, you know, because 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:36.680 all of his siblings live with their moms and so 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:38.319 he don't get to see them every day, don't get 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:40.400 to talk to them. But he is around Marley every 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:43.880 day all day. He loves her like she loves him. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.640 She'd be looking for him. And my baby is now 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:49.400 almost three months. She's not three months yet, but she 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:52.320 is a breastfed baby, so y'all, she's big and she 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:56.040 looks like she's about four months going on five months. Man, 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:57.960 I'm trying to figure out when the fuck I can 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:01.360 feed her some actual food because she don't look her age. 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:05.880 This is crazy, but the journey has been up and down. 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:07.760 I'm not gonna lie. I thought I would be like 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:08.880 right back to work. 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:12.200 I thought after like six weeks I was gonna be 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:14.840 like pumping and listen, these are my pumps that y'all hear. 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:16.160 I know, y'all, like, what the hell is that noise? 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:16.760 If you're driving in. 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:18.799 Your car, or you in a gym, or you're doing 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:20.840 something sitting at your job working, you're probably trying to 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:23.720 find a sound I'm pumping. I am a breast pumping 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:28.440 breastfeeding mom. Okay, so duty calls, and whenever it calls, 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:30.799 I got to be on the duty. So this is 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:34.600 what you get. And it's very challenging. I'm not gonna 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:36.119 lie like I said. I thought I would be back 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:39.480 at work a month and a half in No I 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:41.959 felt crazy six weeks. 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:45.359 I know, I felt crazy. 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:49.239 Yeah, but you know why because I didn't anticipate breastfeeding 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:53.160 being a whole nother full time job. Imagine being somebody's food, yo, 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.600 Like you can't like I had to alter my diet. 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:57.400 I have to, you know, I can't do certain things. 0:02:57.440 --> 0:02:59.840 I can't be away from her long, like even like 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:03.160 right now sitting at iHeart doing my podcast like she 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:04.919 on her last bag of milk. I got to run 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:06.480 out of here as soon as I finished wrapping up 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:08.680 this episode. And that's why I'm pumping, so I can 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:11.320 like be there with her next bag of milk whenever 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:11.919 she's hungry. 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:12.680 You know what I'm saying. 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:17.280 And I have a village, you know, I always say this. Now, 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:21.960 I take my hat off, and I worship the ground 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:25.079 that the single moms walk on, you know, because I 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:28.399 have help. And it's still a big challenge every day. 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:32.000 Me and Chris. We have his mom. She's the nanny, 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:34.040 so we call her the grand nanny. And she moved 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:36.320 all the way from Kuwait to come here and be 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:38.400 a nanny for meet and her son. And this is 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:42.720 our first grandchild, and that this is big for her, 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:44.240 and this is also big for Chris because this is 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:45.000 his first baby. 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:46.520 And we are excited. 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:51.520 We're definitely excited to be parents to her. It's definitely 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:55.880 a challenge though she's so attached to me. But having 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:58.960 to that transition from like taking her off the nipple 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:01.240 putting her on a bottle, that was a little challenging 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:03.080 because she got so used to being on my nipple. 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:05.480 Whenever she cries, they go pop it right in boom. 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:09.600 She latched perfectly. She latched well, and she is healthy. 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:13.720 She ain't missing no meals. But sometimes I will say, 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:18.240 being a breastfeeding mom, it definitely gets tiresome. I haven't 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:21.359 had a full eight hour sleep yet I have to 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:24.160 get up every two to three hours and pump. So 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:28.600 this is this is like kind of like this is 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:32.039 more uncomfortable than the pregnancy. The last trimester. I wasn't 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:34.160 getting sleep, but I really can't even get even once 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.880 I get like where I'm dreaming and getting that good 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:39.520 rim cycle of sleeping, I gotta wake up in pump 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:43.920 like it's crazy. So tailor here, Taylor here, y'all, tailor here, 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:47.080 So how much do you pump? Though? Then? All right, 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:50.799 so each session it varies, it's different, y'all, like, because 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:53.880 some weeks are great and then some weeks it's like, damn, 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.200 I feel like I'm doing something wrong because I'm not 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:59.000 pumping hardly like anything. 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:01.200 And I tell you, like what to eat. 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:03.680 Yeah, so I have lactation cookies. I had to change 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:05.560 my diet like I was. 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:06.080 I had. 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:08.919 I think I was eating too much dairy because my 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:11.240 baby's gas. She was smelling like a grown ass woman, 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:13.960 and there's no way a baby's supposed to smell like 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:14.960 my baby was smelling. 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:18.640 At uh, four and five weeks. 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:21.880 I'm like, oh, hell no, So I like instantly changed 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:26.679 my diet. I stopped eating dairy, and then I started 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:31.800 eating more protein, more vegetables, more fruits, fresh fruits, and 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:35.039 then like flax eats, she is seeds, elderberry, chema meal tees, 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:37.440 and just like trying to find different things to increase 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:38.080 the milk flow. 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:40.400 I have lactation cookies. 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:42.840 I have a lactation specialist who I consult with every 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:47.120 now and then. She's really really, really good. But you 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:49.520 just learn in doing this, like you can't take advice 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:51.719 from very well. You can take advice, but every woman 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:53.520 is different. It depends on your body. And then I 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:55.839 also got my boobs done at at a younger age 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:58.280 as well, So I don't know. They keep saying dad 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.039 on hand on had nothing to do with it, but 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:02.920 I do believe it does. Because my right boob does 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:05.520 not pump as much as my left boob, and one 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:10.760 boob also hurts more when I'm pumping than the other, 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:15.200 you know what I'm saying. And I don't know, it's 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:20.840 more comfortable to breastfeed her than pump. Pumping hurts, like 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:25.000 it hurts. It's a different type of pool. Yeah, definitely 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:27.000 and it's a machine, you know what I mean, especially 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:30.400 and when the pumps are fully charged. It's definitely some 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:34.200 power behind that pump, you know. And I appreciate that 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:37.719 I can actually make milk for her, because some moms 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:39.160 can't pump milk at all. 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:42.120 And that was me with my first son. He and 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:42.880 my first child. 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:45.480 My son did not latch, so I was just gonna pump, 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:46.960 but then it hurts so bad I couldn't. 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:48.640 Then I wasn't, you know, producing. 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:53.120 I didn't really understand the benefits of breastfeeding back then though, 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:56.280 So I I was young. I was pregnant when I 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:58.000 was nineteen. I had him when I was twenty. Girl, 0:06:58.120 --> 0:06:59.960 I was back at working like four weeks, you know 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:04.279 what I'm saying. And I it was it was good 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:05.920 for me. And guess who I worked at. I worked 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:11.000 at McDonald's. And look at my otfit today. Oh my god, y'all. 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.160 So listen, I'm sitting up here right. I got dressed 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:15.040 for work this morning, this acide. Now I'm gonna get 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:17.400 back to all the shit I get ready for work 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:19.240 this morning, right, And I had I got a white 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.960 button up on him with red and yellow sweater. 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:23.560 All right. 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:25.400 The sweater goes over top of the white button up 0:07:25.400 --> 0:07:26.840 and I got the collar coming out of you know, 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:29.200 I get real preppy or whatever, right, And I got 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:32.000 on these black slacks and I got some black leather 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:36.880 platform chunky hills, right, So that outfits sound cute, sound 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:37.400 like it's geffing. 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:39.840 And so I just thought I was killing them when 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:40.720 I walked up in here today. 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:42.520 So I first person I see is one of the 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:45.560 producers here is Samantha, and she said, oh, you look cute, 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:47.040 but it was the way she said it, and I 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.040 was like, hold up doing So I went over to 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:50.720 the mirror and it was quiet for like two minutes, 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:52.920 and I came back like I did think I look cute, 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:55.080 but now it looked like somebody managing at McDonald's. 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:55.720 I looked like the bitch to. 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:57.960 Walk out whatever, Like can I speak to a manager? 0:07:58.000 --> 0:07:59.280 And I kind of out like, hey, what's that like? 0:07:59.400 --> 0:07:59.679 Fuck? 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:03.760 I look like I work at I can't unseeing yeah, 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:07.000 because like I don't know. And I really thought I 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:08.800 was killing them when I was strutting in his visch 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:12.000 today and and then that just that was a trigger 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:15.600 for me just talking about my first pregnancy, at my 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:19.040 first birth because I worked at McDonald's and I love the. 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:22.400 Fucking manager girl looking dambis shit. 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:25.720 Okay, so hold up, hold up, I know the ship 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:28.040 getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds of 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:29.800 a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:35.880 Let's get back to it. Is this about all right? 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:39.000 So what's the what's the What we think is the 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:43.880 biggest difference being pregnant at this age versus when you 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:44.840 first were pregnant. 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:48.120 I worry more like I worry about everything. Sometimes I 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.280 feel like I'm doing things wrong all the time. 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:52.079 And sometimes I wake up and I feel like, Yo, 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:53.439 what the fuck am I even doing? 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.719 Like you know what I'm saying a boy versus a 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:58.160 girl too. You said, it's a different like that I 0:08:58.200 --> 0:08:58.720 have a girl. 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.040 No, But I honestly just felt like I was in 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:04.160 a different I was in a different time in my life. 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.640 I was in a different state of mind, and I 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:10.000 just now I'm fully aware I'm a grown woman, and 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:12.400 it's just like, but now I wish I had that 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:15.120 not a care in the world mindset that I had 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:16.640 when I was younger. It's like now I feel like 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:20.480 I care about too much and I overthink things and 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:23.160 That's why I was saying, I don't know if I 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:27.240 do have postpartum depression. Some days, well actually a lot 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:29.400 of days, I don't feel pretty. I don't feel like 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.480 I can accomplish certain things that I knew I could 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:35.120 accomplish before. I felt like I got to get back 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:36.480 to work. I gotta get back to work. People are 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:38.840 not gonna miss me, people are not gonna want me 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:40.839 around anymore. And then I gotta get back on tour. 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:43.640 My fans are gonna forget about me. I gotta write 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.360 more comedy. I feel like I don't want to tell 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:50.000 the same jokes and when I overthink a lot. But 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.200 do you all think that's just your ambitious Like say 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:55.880 you weren't pregnant, Maybe you just like broke a leg 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.000 or something you just can't come in. Yeah, I don't 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:01.440 feel like we'll be same it. It definitely would probably 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:06.240 be the same. But the only thing that makes me 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:08.760 feel like it is postpartum depression, and again I haven't 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:14.280 been diagnosed, guys, is that I cry so much, like 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:17.840 I feel like I can't do anything right, like crazy. 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:22.760 And then and then I also feel like so many people, 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:29.280 like every everything plays on your mind when you have 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:35.040 postpartum depression, and I'm just gonna say, yeah, every little 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:38.880 thing bothers me. Like even if I change my daughter 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:41.839 and she starts like to cry, I feel like, oh 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:44.240 my god, I hurt her or I'm not I'm not 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:47.480 gonna pump enough. I always often think, like in the future, 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:52.520 like you know what, one day I won't have milk 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:54.360 for her, then what the fuck do I do? Because 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:56.320 I don't want to give her a formula and now 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:58.640 I'm standing on it. I don't, like, I really don't, 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:01.640 and to reach his own I give my hat to 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:04.520 a woman who has try breastfeeding and can't do it 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:06.920 because everybody just can't do it, you know what I mean. 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:10.400 I've been in that predicament before as well, But I 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:12.680 always think about that because I don't pump enough to store. 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:15.520 You know, you got women who can pump, like to 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:19.280 share breast milk and still have milk for their kids. 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:23.000 You got women that got too much damn milk. You 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:26.160 know what I'm saying, Like that their breast leak. My 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.560 breast has not leaked yet, you know what I mean, No, 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:32.320 I haven't. I don't have that, and I feel like 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:35.120 that would be a great problem. I hear women complain 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:37.160 about it, but that's what I want. I want to 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.200 be able to make massive amount of milk so I 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:41.880 don't have to take my daughter on these fucking airplanes 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:44.840 and shit and risk getting her sick at such a 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:47.000 young age and shit. But those are all sort the 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:51.040 benefits of breast milk. Your kids don't get sick easily. 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:53.240 You know, they're getting all the nutrients and vitamins and 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.120 protein and everything that they need because it's right there 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.280 in the milk, and like all the good things that 0:11:58.320 --> 0:11:59.959 you have in you, it's just going right back into it. 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:01.280 Baby. You know I did. 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:05.720 I capitalize my placenta, so'm I'm still taking my prenatal 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.000 vitamins to try to increase milk flow. Like I said 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:12.880 the lactation cookies, I'm taking lactation capsules, like I'm staying hydrated. 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:16.520 I only drink coconut. 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:20.720 Water body armor because it's made with coconut water and. 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:23.199 Water regular water. Like I don't drink cooly, I don't 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:23.760 drink sota. 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.480 I don't drink all the shit that I I always 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:30.440 wanted to huh No, I mean everything that I that 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.920 I want to drink. I can't orange juice, yes, but 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:35.560 if I do drink juice, it got to be like 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:37.720 one hundred percent juices. So I will drink grape juice 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:40.679 or cranberry juice and not even a cocktail. I mean, 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:45.240 like the real cranberry juice, orange juice, pineapple like all 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:45.920 of that. 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:47.640 So I'm trying to be as healthy as I can. 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:50.120 But it's like only but so much you can do, 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.480 like it's up to your body, like it's what your 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:54.440 body produces. And I just get scared that I'm not 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.320 gonna be able to feed her and I may have 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:58.920 to put her on formula, and I just don't want 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:01.319 to do it. And how long did you want to 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:05.160 pump for until she's about eight nine months? 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.560 I honestly wanted to, you know. 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.560 And even when she starts eating like solids, like you know, 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:14.080 real food, I actually still want to mix up my 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.240 breast milk with it, Like I want to like puree 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:22.760 carrots and carrots and celery and fucking broccoli and vegetables, 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:26.200 cucumbers and shit like that, you know, things like fresh 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.480 fruits and vegetables, and then mix it with my breast milk. 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.160 I was watching this lady on TikTok and she does 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:32.960 that and it's so healthy. Her kid be fucking that 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:34.960 food up, and I'd be like, shit, that's I can't 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:38.040 wait to do that. But like I don't want to 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:42.960 have to put my baby on formula before then because 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:44.319 I feel like I don't make enough. 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.720 Milk for her. I just I really don't. 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:51.160 And then also like on ano another point, like coming 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:52.240 back to work was hard. 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:56.600 It was hard as shit because everybody just so it. 0:13:56.679 --> 0:14:00.800 Everybody just flip flops. Like the interner is a strange 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:01.240 place now. 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:01.520 Listen. 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:05.760 I've never been the type to care and to cater 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:08.520 to people's opinions about me and shit like that. 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.520 But when you feel the way. 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:13.679 You feel after having a baby and shit and like 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:17.240 your hormones up and down, it's like it's a like 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:22.000 your mind does not allow you to think positively about shit. 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:25.440 And I feel like people went from loving me and 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:27.840 there's a few haters scattered around and there I mean, 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.720 but I always had haters. I always confind for myself 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:33.120 and let share roll off my back. People been talk 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:36.080 about me my whole career. I don't care about that, 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.640 but it's just something about it now, like it just 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:43.520 seems like I've gotten so much more hate. Like yeah, 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:45.400 like I don't know if my mind is set up 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.680 to only go there with it, you know what I'm saying. 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.520 Yes, So I feel like you always said that. 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:56.120 It might be like you said, push permit, you say 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.080 like you don't feel as pretty and everything else too, 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:01.440 So that might be also a mindset to you haven't 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:03.560 been here for a long time. Yeah, not a long time, 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:07.920 but you know a few months, so the absence filled 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:09.720 with all the other stuff you got going on and 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:11.000 away with you. 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:13.960 But I don't think definitely, But I always think that 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.920 people are on the internet. Yeah, in real life. 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.280 I know there's so many people on the internet that 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:24.080 probably talking and then they've met me, like, oh they'll 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:27.480 say nothing. Yeah, Like it's just I don't think you 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.000 should pay that much mind to. 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.120 It, I know, And that's the thing I try not to. 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:32.320 And then I have like Chris. 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:35.040 Chris always helps me with that, like he'll snatch my 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:36.600 phone out my hand, like yo, what the fuck are 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:36.920 you doing? 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:42.640 Like why are you looking for validation for your position? 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:45.040 What it is? Yeah? 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:48.280 Or just bored nothing against y'all. We appreciate the listenership. 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:51.040 I'm just saying a lot of times are just at 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:55.280 their boring job. Yeah, and they know they can't be seen, 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:58.480 so they're like, all right, cool, Like I'm basically a bot. 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.200 I'm gonna troub her, and but to try to break 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:04.240 somebody it's crazy. And it's like, I never really thought 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:07.560 that I would be the person that struggled with this, 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:09.560 because girl, you know, I don't get a fuck when 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.280 nobody saying like usually like about me. 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:17.520 But I oh, oh my gosh. 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:19.200 That frenchy gas is a difference. It's a whole different gas, 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:22.960 hain't it. I know, listen my dog be smelling like 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:24.760 a whole fucking crack alley. 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:27.240 I'd be like, wait a minute, where the fuck did 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:31.400 you go? What did you eat? What did you digest? Honey? Yeah, 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.040 I know her dog is in here and he stank. Child. 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:37.120 If I was pregnant, how to throw it? You already 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:40.880 know I couldn't handle no fucking smells. I could listen when. 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:42.960 I was pregnant. Yo, I could smell when somebody was 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:43.880 coming on their period. 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:48.360 Yeah, Like my nose was like yeah crazy, uh huh, 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.720 Like yeah, I had the cyclops of nose. Why because 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:55.240 what sense are you losing then you say anything like 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.040 you're saying, all your senses are heightened, like yeah, you 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:00.800 got another baby growing like a human being growing. 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:01.720 Inside of you. 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:05.879 Absolutely, so I'm like, yes, man, like I could smell 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:09.280 bullshit from miles the way too with these uh with 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:10.720 a whole bunch of shit going on. That's why I 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:12.800 was fixing a mess because I'm like, oh, yeah, these 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:15.240 niggas are cheating on these bitches out here a little bit. 0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:17.800 If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:21.800 then we'll be right back. You made me consider or 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:27.320 made me realize, like when I was younger, or not 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:30.440 even younger, but I used to be like, man, I 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:32.879 want guys to be able to get pregnant too, so 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:33.359 they could. 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:36.879 Feel how we feel. Yeah, but I don't what's that? 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:37.359 No word? 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:41.640 Just because it is a superpower that women have. Yeah, 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:45.360 and even seeing the challenges after pregnancy is I don't 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:49.720 even Yeah, hell yeah, I appreciate that. No, for sure, 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:52.520 it's a it's a thing. It is really a thing. 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:54.280 And then honestly, I don't even think a man could 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:58.320 handle this reckless Yeah, it is is different because I 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.639 even think, like when you were saying, thinking about how 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.320 you're eating, and it like yeah, because I'm thinking, like, 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:06.480 what's the pregnancy it's going. I mean, people breastfeedp but 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:08.320 I wasn't really taking consideration, like. 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:09.840 Saying me too. 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.560 I didn't know that it would be like this, this 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:14.600 this much of a challenge, especially if you've never done 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:15.040 it before. 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:16.440 Like I said, I just tried. 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:19.359 I wasn't able to go through with it at a 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.479 younger age, but yeah, like it. It definitely is a 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:27.960 whole different lifestyle, you know, And I thank God every 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:31.640 day that I can pump. It's just sometimes I get 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:35.119 so discouraged. So just for the moms out there, I 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:39.919 know that you guys can sympathize with me, and just 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.879 to have a level of level of empathy. 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:44.800 I know that you don't always feel. 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:46.359 Like you're doing your best, you don't look your best, 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:50.200