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Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is Eh John. And

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Speaker 1: we've last showed in some amazing stories for y'all the

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcasts. But before that we got a wrangle,

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Speaker 1: a quick little two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

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Speaker 1: We bucking love so.

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Speaker 2: Much either paid us the bucks to help this show

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Speaker 2: stay alive. I refuse to attend my best friend's wedding

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Speaker 2: because she's pregnant and getting married to my ex.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot to unpack.

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Speaker 2: So two major parts of my life inverged recently, and

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Speaker 2: I'm just devastated and questioning pretty much all my actions.

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Speaker 2: Hence why I'm posting here because I may be acting

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Speaker 2: awful to two people I love dearly. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Broken Hearted And if you want to

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Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to our slash shooky Storytime

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Speaker 2: supparate it. Part one is Tammy, my best friend since

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Speaker 2: elementary school. She's literally my sister. We have done pretty

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Speaker 2: much everything together, same college, same dorm, roommates, confidant, sloppy,

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Speaker 2: wasted mates, you name it. I love her so much.

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Speaker 2: Part two is Gregory, my college boyfriend. I love him

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Speaker 2: as well, but we just could never make things work.

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Speaker 2: Had one of those hot mess relationships, which are a

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Speaker 2: combination of torture and bliss. We have dated off and

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Speaker 2: on since freshman orientation. All of us are twenty seven now,

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Speaker 2: but usually end up in flames. I always loved him

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Speaker 2: so much that I hoped we'd mature and be able

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Speaker 2: to make things work. He moved to a different city

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Speaker 2: after college, but we stayed in touch, sent flirty texts,

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Speaker 2: and even went on vacation twice. We got along great

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Speaker 2: as long as we both had our own places to

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Speaker 2: retreat to, if that makes sense. All along we both

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Speaker 2: had dating lives, and to be fair, I never told

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Speaker 2: him about my long term idea that we'd beat together.

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Speaker 2: A year ago, Tammy moved to a city about thirty

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Speaker 2: minutes away from Gregory. She was having a really hard

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Speaker 2: time meeting people, so I told her, since she knew

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Speaker 2: Gregory so well, she should call him up and see

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Speaker 2: if he can introduce her to his group of friends.

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Speaker 2: She did, and I knew she was much happier. About

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Speaker 2: three months after that, the flirty text from Gregory just

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Speaker 2: stopped out of the blue, which isn't that big of

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Speaker 2: a deal because it's happened before, But looking back, I

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Speaker 2: should have known what was coming. Tammy just came home

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Speaker 2: for the weekend and said she was making a special

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Speaker 2: trip just to see me. Of course, I was super

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Speaker 2: excited to see her. She came over and she just

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Speaker 2: seemed a little off. First, she told me she was pregnant.

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Speaker 2: After we got past the shock and established she was

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Speaker 2: happy and keeping the baby, I was elated to be

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Speaker 2: an aunt. Then she said there's more, and this is

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Speaker 2: really hard. I about passed away when she said the

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Speaker 2: baby is Gregory's. She apologized and said she was so sorry.

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Speaker 2: They had just hit it off and they didn't mean

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Speaker 2: to do anything to hurt me, and they even tried

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Speaker 2: breaking up for my sake, but they just realized there

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Speaker 2: was too much attraction and they started dating. She hadn't

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Speaker 2: planned on getting pregnant, but now that she is, they're

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Speaker 2: getting married. She said she hoped this didn't hurt me,

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Speaker 2: and she always dreamed about me being her maid of honor,

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Speaker 2: and there's no one else she could ever ask. I

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Speaker 2: tried to keep my cool, but I just lost it.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't mad at her, just really really sad. I

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Speaker 2: told her that I loved her, but I just couldn't

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Speaker 2: be around her. Right now, and no way I could

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Speaker 2: even go to their wedding, let alone be in the

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Speaker 2: wedding party. She said she was sorry about a million

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Speaker 2: times as she was leaving, and she texted me quite

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Speaker 2: a bit wanting to see me before she left town

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Speaker 2: on Sunday. I just couldn't do it. I literally cried

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Speaker 2: all week. Here's the thing, if I were nicer in

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Speaker 2: the picture, they make a perfect couple. Perfect Tammy's brand

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Speaker 2: of fiery is much better match to Gregory's calm nature

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Speaker 2: than mine. They are both gorgeous and smart and great

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Speaker 2: with kids. If two people should be hooking up to

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Speaker 2: be great partners and parents, it's those two. I just

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Speaker 2: can't help being hurt. Am I the a hole for

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Speaker 2: not wanting to be or made of honor? And there

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Speaker 2: is an edit and an update. But what are your

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Speaker 2: initial thoughts? Because I've got some.

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Speaker 1: I think for me, I understand why she feels upset,

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Speaker 1: Like she introduced these two people together. She's incredibly close

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Speaker 1: to them. She has residual feelings, probably unresolved, yeah stuff

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Speaker 1: for Gregory.

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Speaker 2: Like especially because she thought that they were She was like,

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Speaker 2: I always thought we'd end up together, and.

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Speaker 1: Like a flirty text continuously throughout, Like even if they're

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Speaker 1: not like actively dating anymore, there's still some affection on

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Speaker 1: both sides. So I get where she's coming from. But

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Speaker 1: you're not together.

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Speaker 2: Any I think. Yeah, I think I agree with that,

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Speaker 2: and I don't think this will be relationship or friendship ending,

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Speaker 2: you know, like friendship ending on either side.

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Speaker 1: She recognizes that they're a good couple.

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Speaker 2: I just think that she needs a minute, she.

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Speaker 1: Needs time to process that she's not the one for him, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that her friend is.

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Speaker 2: I also think that it's totally fair if she doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to be made of honor for this wedding. Edit.

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Speaker 2: This blew up like crazy. I had no idea. Thank you.

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Speaker 2: I think pretty much everyone so far thinks at least

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Speaker 2: my initial reaction is okay. The thing that people seem

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Speaker 2: most confused by is the timeline, And honestly I was

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Speaker 2: wrong in my original post. Tam and I only talked

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Speaker 2: for maybe ten minutes on Friday evening, so there is

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Speaker 2: a lot I don't know. But I went through my

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Speaker 2: texts and such, and this is the best I can

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Speaker 2: put together. June twenty seventeen, Greg took me to White

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Speaker 2: That is the last time I saw it. We texted

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Speaker 2: maybe two three times a week. May twenty eighteen, Tammy

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Speaker 2: gets her job and moves to the new city. We

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Speaker 2: text her call easily combined one hundred times a day

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Speaker 2: or more dang. Late July twenty eighteen, Tammy confesses that

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Speaker 2: she's really lonely. All her coworkers are older, and she's

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Speaker 2: seriously thinking about quitting and moving back. I tell her

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Speaker 2: she should call it Greg. She doesn't have his number,

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Speaker 2: so I give it to I still keep getting flirty,

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Speaker 2: but nothing over from Greg in this time period. August

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Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, I start a project at my job promotions company,

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Speaker 2: setting up for a December event for ab list celebrity.

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Speaker 2: It's literally a make or break for my company and

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Speaker 2: my career. I work sixteen hour day minimums and basically

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Speaker 2: go off the grid. Greg still texts occasionally, and I

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Speaker 2: keep missing Tammy's calls. September twenty eighteen, last text from Greg,

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Speaker 2: like I said, no big deal. I didn't even see

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Speaker 2: this until today, but Tammy's texted me please call me.

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Speaker 2: I sap, we really need to talk about something. This

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Speaker 2: adds a whole new element to the story, but I

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Speaker 2: can't believe I forgot or miss the text. I responded

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Speaker 2: to another text of hers later in the day kind

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Speaker 2: of witchy. Hey, you know, I'm busy. Give me some

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Speaker 2: time to breathe. Ooh, another piece I forgot until I

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Speaker 2: dug in my text. She may have taken this as

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Speaker 2: a message I wasn't ready. I assume this is when

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Speaker 2: they first hooked up. Oh okay, so she did try

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Speaker 2: to tell you. She did try to tell you.

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Speaker 1: It's not not that it's anyone's fault, but it's really

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Speaker 1: not her quote unquote fall.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not Tammy sauce. She did try to tell you.

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Speaker 2: She was like, hey, I need to tell you, and

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Speaker 2: I thought, O peace. While she was she was in

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Speaker 2: like a make or break moment for her career. She's like,

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Speaker 2: I'm working sixteen hour days, Like I truly don't know

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Speaker 2: at that point. It's after that, you go home, you eat,

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Speaker 2: you sleep, Yeah, go back to work. You don't have

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Speaker 2: time to really be worrying about anything else.

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Speaker 1: Which is fine.

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Speaker 2: It's it's it's just the circumstances happened and you didn't

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Speaker 2: find out because.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the cards fell in a very unfortunate way here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. September to December we still miss each other, and

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Speaker 2: honestly don't think I talked to her, And looking back,

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Speaker 2: she texted about five times to every one of my responses,

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Speaker 2: and if I read it right, she initiated all conversations.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't a very good friend. My event goes off

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Speaker 2: pretty well, and then I immediately leave for an overseas

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Speaker 2: vacation with my family. January. We still didn't talk at all,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't think much of it. Briody the first

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Speaker 2: she drops the news in person. She's been pregnant for

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Speaker 2: about two weeks and getting married in April, so that's

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Speaker 2: the timeline. Not sure if it clears anything up, but

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Speaker 2: it looks like tam it may have reached out to

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Speaker 2: me at least once. It seems like she was trying

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Speaker 2: to have that conversation for a really long time, and

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Speaker 2: there is an update. Again, I don't think anyone's a

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Speaker 2: hole here. I think it was a lot of I mean,

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Speaker 2: like maybe you're a little bit the ale in how

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Speaker 2: like you weren't really there for her even after the.

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Speaker 1: Job finished, but she was on vacation.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, so it's like.

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Speaker 1: It's not even she's not trying to be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think you're necessarily a whole maybe just

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Speaker 2: like somewhat inconsiderate in the friendship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe inconsiderate, maybe a little bit busy, maybe just

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Speaker 1: not the most available at the time.

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Speaker 2: I mean even your friend seems to be like Tammy

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Speaker 2: seems to be understanding as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like she still wants you to be They still

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Speaker 1: like they're still friends. They still like, yeah, hung out

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Speaker 1: after that independently, like she thought that, oh, she's coming

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Speaker 1: to see me, not to drop this news.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and like you.

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Speaker 1: Said, she she's she's saying, will you come be my

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Speaker 1: maid up, honor? I still care about in spite of

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Speaker 1: the distance that's happened in the last few months, in

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Speaker 1: spite of I know how like this is going to

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Speaker 1: hurt you, I still care about you enough to want

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Speaker 1: you as this important position. Yeah, in my wedding.

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Speaker 2: So I do think it. But I think it's less

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Speaker 2: important for us to all of this because it's like

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Speaker 2: you know, I mean, it just tells us like everyone

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Speaker 2: had stuff going on. But I think it's more important

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Speaker 2: that open he knows this, because it's like she tried

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Speaker 2: to tell.

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Speaker 1: You mm hmm, you know, and like op recognizes it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. So that's why I don't think this

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Speaker 2: f think.

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Speaker 1: She even recognizes that they're an excellent copy. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Update, I got so many nice comments on my original

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Speaker 2: and my first ever gold I figured I owed everyone

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Speaker 2: an update and sort of what I'm thinking now. After

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Speaker 2: getting a chance to talk it out with Tammy and

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Speaker 2: see Gregory for the first time in almost two years,

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Speaker 2: I took the rest of the week off to have

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Speaker 2: a self pity party that wasn't working, so I just decided,

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Speaker 2: screw it, I'm gonna drive seven hours to see Tammy

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Speaker 2: and just tell her how I was feeling. I texted

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Speaker 2: her on the way and she said she was happy

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Speaker 2: I was coming. I really wanted to address all the

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Speaker 2: very good questions you good people had brought up in

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Speaker 2: my post from Tuesday. So I got there and we

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Speaker 2: basically hugged he low, and I have to admit I

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Speaker 2: was very happy to see her. What was so effing

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Speaker 2: weird as it was obvious Gregory was living in her

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Speaker 2: place now I don't even know why I hadn't even

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Speaker 2: thought about this, but he's a pretty messy dude. So

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Speaker 2: when I saw cereal bowls on the coffee table and

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Speaker 2: socks on the floor grat that used to drive me

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Speaker 2: up the wall. I was like, wow, this is real.

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Speaker 2: Thank god Greg wasn't there, and Tammy apologized that she

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Speaker 2: just didn't feel good enough to clean up before she

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Speaker 2: heard I was coming. So our conversation basically centered around

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Speaker 2: what happened and why she never told me. At first,

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Speaker 2: she was kind of talking about it to spare my feelings,

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Speaker 2: and I got sort of frustrated with her. I told

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Speaker 2: her to please just tell me what happened. It turns

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Speaker 2: out they went out as a group right after I

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Speaker 2: gave her Greg's number, and they just had an immediate attraction.

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Speaker 2: For the first few times they hung out, it was

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Speaker 2: all just reminiscing about college days and they never mentioned

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Speaker 2: the attraction. After about two weeks of hanging out, they

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Speaker 2: kissed for the first time, and she was so pissed

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Speaker 2: at herself that she blocked his number and didn't see

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Speaker 2: him for almost a month. Dang, I guess she got

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Speaker 2: lonely again. They ran into each other and they admitted

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Speaker 2: they had real feelings. She said she texted me and

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Speaker 2: told me she wanted to talk about it right after

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Speaker 2: they agreed to start dating. I found this out on

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Speaker 2: my own on Tuesday after going through my texts, but

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Speaker 2: since I was so busy, I wasn't very nice to her.

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Speaker 2: She knew I was busy and really wavered on interrupting

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Speaker 2: the most important time in my professional career versus telling

242
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Speaker 2: me some very hard to swallow news she said, rightly

243
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Speaker 2: or wrongly, she decided to tell me in person when

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Speaker 2: she saw me again. As forward a little bit, things

245
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,800
Speaker 2: got so serious they talked about eloping after only two months. Dang,

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00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,280
Speaker 2: and we're pretty much living together. She said. They had

247
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,800
Speaker 2: a wasted New Year's Eve party and just weren't careful,

248
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Speaker 2: and that's when she assumed she got pregned. She knew

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Speaker 2: then that it was an in person conversation she had

250
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Speaker 2: to have with me. Her first free weekend was last weekend.

251
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Speaker 2: I basically responded by saying, I just didn't know how

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Speaker 2: to feel. In my brain, I knew Gregory and I

253
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Speaker 2: were not compatible, but my heart always hoped we'd grow

254
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Speaker 2: up and be able to make it work, and she

255
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Speaker 2: was my best friend and I basically hooked them up.

256
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Speaker 2: I just don't know how to deal with all of this.

257
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,320
Speaker 2: I know it's over, but even seeing his stuff on

258
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Speaker 2: her floor was sort of painful. Honestly, that would have

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Speaker 2: been a massive fight between Greg and me. Like I said,

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Speaker 2: Tammy's much more chill. I told her that I was

261
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Speaker 2: always lover and always be her friend, but in April

262
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Speaker 2: wedding is probably just too soon to be involved in

263
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Speaker 2: the wedding party. She said, she totally understood. We talked

264
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Speaker 2: about the elephant in the room for maybe twenty more minutes,

265
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Speaker 2: but honestly we were just talking in circles, saying the

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Speaker 2: same thing over and over again, so we just sort

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Speaker 2: of moved on how she was feeling, how work was going.

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Speaker 2: Me apparently wearing some sort of man repellent because I

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Speaker 2: can't even hook up on Tinder and all the other

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00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,840
Speaker 2: things friends usually talk about. Damny is in full blown

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Speaker 2: morning sickness, so she must have barfed fifteen times in

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Speaker 2: the first two hours of me being there. That sucks.

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Speaker 2: At first, I just let her do her thing, but

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Speaker 2: then I felt really bad because we've been friends for

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Speaker 2: over twenty years and I wasn't even helping her. So

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Speaker 2: I went in helped put her hair in a ponytail

277
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Speaker 2: and rubbed her back. That's when it hit me. I

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Speaker 2: would absolutely regret it and never been able to forgive

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Speaker 2: myself if I weren't there for her wedding, pregnancy, and

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Speaker 2: having a baby, no matter who she was marrying. We

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00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:32,440
Speaker 2: went to lunch, and at that point I told her

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Speaker 2: I was sorry for being selfish and then I would

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Speaker 2: be her maid of honor.

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Speaker 1: Okay, surprise, surprise.

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Speaker 2: She just needed a minute.

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Speaker 1: She just needed to like actually like see her friend. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: talk to her.

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Speaker 2: She's like, okay, married, Yeah, literally, like I.

289
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Speaker 1: Feel like she was ambushed in the beginning, which is time.

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Speaker 2: I know it was coming. Needed a minute to sort

291
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Speaker 2: through feelings, right, Yeah. She said, no way was I

292
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Speaker 2: being selfish, but that she would never have another made

293
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Speaker 2: of honor besides me. It's not going to be the

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Speaker 2: easy thing in my life. But I can't not do it.

295
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,439
Speaker 2: So we went back to our apartment and Gregory was home.

296
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Speaker 2: Suddenly I felt like such an idiot because I couldn't

297
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,960
Speaker 2: possibly be in their wedding, let alone ever be around

298
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Speaker 2: the two of them together. That was the most awkward

299
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Speaker 2: aloe I've ever had in my life. And then God

300
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,280
Speaker 2: he cleaned up, because I was just amped up with

301
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Speaker 2: nerves to scream at him like I would have been

302
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Speaker 2: the past. We sort of awkwardly sat on the couch,

303
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,719
Speaker 2: not saying much, But after a few minutes, I just

304
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,360
Speaker 2: started telling myself again to grow up, don't let my

305
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,160
Speaker 2: own feeling good in the way of two people who

306
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,880
Speaker 2: may really belong together. Seeing them together in person is

307
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,440
Speaker 2: even more saccharine sweet than I thought possible. They're perfect

308
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,120
Speaker 2: for each other. Gregory's supportive. I don't know how many

309
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,079
Speaker 2: times I had to claim best friend privilege when she

310
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,760
Speaker 2: got sick over a loving fiancee privilege. Ah and sweet,

311
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 2: and she's far more tolerant of him than I could

312
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,040
Speaker 2: have ever possibly been. It was still hard for the

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Speaker 2: rest of the evening, but I think it will get

314
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,599
Speaker 2: better with time. I decided again I would be in

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00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,880
Speaker 2: their wedding. We had dinner and I got a hotel

316
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,199
Speaker 2: because even though I'm trying, I'm not ready to sleep

317
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Speaker 2: in the same house as them. That's fair. Dammy had

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00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,160
Speaker 2: to work today, so I'm just hanging out before I

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00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,679
Speaker 2: see her for lunch, and then I'm going to drive

320
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,160
Speaker 2: back home. We have a long, long way to go,

321
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,760
Speaker 2: but I'm so glad I came to see her because

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00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,000
Speaker 2: at the very least we saw each other, talked it out,

323
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Speaker 2: and I'm very happy that I'm going to be involved

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00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,360
Speaker 2: in these major life offents with her. Thank you so

325
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,559
Speaker 2: much for all the input the other day, and thank

326
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,920
Speaker 2: you for reading all this edit too. I totally passed

327
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,360
Speaker 2: out last night, so I didn't get to participate like

328
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,440
Speaker 2: I would have. I have to jump in into fend Tammy.

329
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,400
Speaker 2: Maybe no one will see this because it's probably a

330
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,760
Speaker 2: time this fades. Maybe no one will believe me. But

331
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 2: for all the criticisms of her, there's a good explanation

332
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,400
Speaker 2: that can most likely be explained away by me being

333
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,160
Speaker 2: a bad writer or not wanting this to be a

334
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,320
Speaker 2: self absorbed person novel. For example, I saw someone saying

335
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,400
Speaker 2: Tammy should have called after the first guess. I've known

336
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,320
Speaker 2: her for so long to know that she knows I

337
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,040
Speaker 2: can be very irrational and angry. I alluded to it

338
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,600
Speaker 2: in the other post, but I had to do a

339
00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:46,920
Speaker 2: year of anger management therapy because I could be like

340
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,360
Speaker 2: Dynamite when I get pissed. I'm way better now, but

341
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,640
Speaker 2: she probably has legit PCSD from some of my pre

342
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,720
Speaker 2: freak outs. She figured it was a one time thing,

343
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,600
Speaker 2: so I poke the bear, if that makes sense. I

344
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,000
Speaker 2: mean propsto pee for coming so far, because it seems

345
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,240
Speaker 2: like you handle both of those interactions pretty well after

346
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:02,480
Speaker 2: with Dammy.

347
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like with her knowing that and like

348
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,480
Speaker 1: with with it Via, like a one time she cut

349
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,720
Speaker 1: it off afterwards, she was like blocked him, She's blocking

350
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,079
Speaker 1: his number. She's like, I'd never intend to see him again.

351
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,200
Speaker 1: And it's only at Ope.

352
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,480
Speaker 2: He's in the middle of like a whole work thing too.

353
00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like if Cammy had come to her

354
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,840
Speaker 1: during this work thing and blown this whole big secret

355
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:27,160
Speaker 1: wide open that like if it's crushing op now like

356
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,120
Speaker 1: it's it was going to be crushing then totally distracting,

357
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,400
Speaker 1: would she been able to do her work exactly.

358
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,840
Speaker 2: No, and she would have been more upset than like, oh,

359
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,520
Speaker 2: you know, Tammy totally ruined my work thing. Secondly, I

360
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,320
Speaker 2: can't stress enough how busy I was last fall. Not

361
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 2: an exaggeration to say I was working sixteen plus hour

362
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,640
Speaker 2: days with maybe a day off every twenty to thirty days.

363
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,280
Speaker 2: I was planning a huge event that centered around a

364
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,840
Speaker 2: truly self absorbed person, and he would have me on

365
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,680
Speaker 2: my phone texting questions and answers all day long. The

366
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,520
Speaker 2: last thing I wanted to do in my time off

367
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,600
Speaker 2: was get on my phone. I counted from that period

368
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,000
Speaker 2: and I'd say it averages two to one of Tammy

369
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,560
Speaker 2: texting me. I assume calls were worse, but in one

370
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,600
Speaker 2: stretch I think accounted she texted me forty times before

371
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,200
Speaker 2: I texted her back. It's bad timing more than anything,

372
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,560
Speaker 2: because any one of those may have been when she

373
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,320
Speaker 2: wanted to tell me, and I definitely appreciate her thoughtfulness

374
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,040
Speaker 2: and not wanting to spring it on me while I

375
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,000
Speaker 2: was losing my mind from lack of sleep and work.

376
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,680
Speaker 2: I agree with her that this was an in person

377
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,200
Speaker 2: conversation anyway. But you don't have to be in person

378
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,360
Speaker 2: to watch full episodes of stories just like this. Just

379
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,680
Speaker 2: go to Spotify, Apple podcast, or iHeartRadio and search. Okay,

380
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,080
Speaker 2: story time, but there is a little bit left to

381
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:31,320
Speaker 2: the story, and do you have any final thoughts.

382
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 1: I feel like she's wavering a little bit back and

383
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,600
Speaker 1: forth on her feelings, like she's handling this the right

384
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,040
Speaker 1: way and she's only being human.

385
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,560
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, she's gonna have mixed feelings.

386
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:40,960
Speaker 1: She this could have gone a lot worse. She could

387
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000
Speaker 1: have been like, I'm.

388
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,840
Speaker 2: Black's never going to see you as again every.

389
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,400
Speaker 1: Single part of my life. Yeah, but no, she's she's

390
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 1: handling this better than I think most people would like.

391
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:49,200
Speaker 2: I agree.

392
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,000
Speaker 1: I can see she's not going to be ecstatic about

393
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,400
Speaker 1: like her perceived soulmate being uh, you know, with her

394
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 1: best friend, with her best friend and having a kid

395
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,400
Speaker 1: like all at once. It's like, Okay, that's that's a

396
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,880
Speaker 1: lot to take in, and even if you were like

397
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,920
Speaker 1: super supportive of them, it's like it's a lot to

398
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:03,440
Speaker 1: take in.

399
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she's doing a good job.

400
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's doing her best, and she's acknowledging her faults.

401
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,440
Speaker 1: She's acknowledging that they're good for each other, and she's

402
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,640
Speaker 1: trying to wish them the best that she can, the

403
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,440
Speaker 1: best way that she can.

404
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 2: Agreed. I know Tammy is just an internet's sprite to

405
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,160
Speaker 2: all but one of you, But she is a real

406
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,520
Speaker 2: person who has been my ride or dies since we

407
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 2: were ten and eleven. We've fought, screwed each other over

408
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 2: so many times, and we've always forgiven each other because

409
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 2: having her in my life is way more important than

410
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,760
Speaker 2: pining over a guy spent most of my time frustrated with. Anyway.

411
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,080
Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong, I'm still pining and I cried

412
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,440
Speaker 2: last night over this. But like so many people said,

413
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,480
Speaker 2: maybe Tam TAM's best gift to me as a friend

414
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 2: was forcing me to move on from a guy who

415
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,360
Speaker 2: wasn't right for me. And that is the end of

416
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,160
Speaker 2: that story. But yeah, I think I think it probably

417
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,720
Speaker 2: is going to be helpful for you in the long

418
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,520
Speaker 2: run because it seems like you kept coming back to

419
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:50,720
Speaker 2: this guy. I know you can move on.

420
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,479
Speaker 1: It's finality. That's the gift that she got, that finality

421
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:58,120
Speaker 1: that she has to move on. Yeah, my fir mom

422
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,360
Speaker 1: friend wants to be included in the Mother's Day lunch.

423
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 1: She got upset.

424
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,480
Speaker 2: Does she not have a real child, She just has

425
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,840
Speaker 2: a dog or something.

426
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,119
Speaker 1: Layla and I are friends with five other women and

427
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 1: have been since middle school. Everyone but us has kids.

428
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,439
Speaker 1: We have for babies instead. Once our group had kids,

429
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,920
Speaker 1: we tried to do a Mother's Day lunch with all

430
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,320
Speaker 1: of us. By the way, this comes to us from

431
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,359
Speaker 1: brunch with dogs. And if you want to submit your

432
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,840
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

433
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 1: It didn't really go over that well because those without

434
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,480
Speaker 1: kids couldn't really participate, Like, what do I know about

435
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 1: late night feedings and diapers and first steps or going

436
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 1: through the adoption process. So people without kids were just

437
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,120
Speaker 1: left out and everyone was okay with that. It's been

438
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,600
Speaker 1: like this for the last eleven years, and now it's

439
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 1: turned to their kids and husbands slash partners, making them

440
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 1: brunch together, serve it up, exchange gifts, stories, and spend

441
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,080
Speaker 1: the day together on one big family outing. Leila got

442
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 1: her pup last year. She is one hundred percent the

443
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 1: dog mom. Stickers shirts will give you presents from her dog,

444
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 1: signs cards from her dog. I don't think there's anything

445
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,439
Speaker 1: wrong with that, and it's cute. She can go overboard,

446
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,000
Speaker 1: like the birthday party she threw for her pup last

447
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 1: month and invited our group and her friends from her

448
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 1: doggy daycare. Some of our friends left because a couple

449
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 1: of the kids have dog allergies and she has dogs

450
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 1: everywhere and didn't include that info. She was sad they left,

451
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 1: so we had to explain to her that she knows

452
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 1: some of our friends' kids have these allergies and she

453
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,200
Speaker 1: didn't give a heads up. She invited people to bring

454
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,639
Speaker 1: her dog's friends from the doggy daycare. Eventually she let

455
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,159
Speaker 1: it go Mother's Day rolls around. She came over and

456
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,920
Speaker 1: was pretty upset, said she needed to vend. She said

457
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,960
Speaker 1: she was hurt she was left out of the Mother's

458
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,160
Speaker 1: Day outing because she's a dog mom and that counts too.

459
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 2: No, it doesn't, No, it's not. The thing is if

460
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 2: she had come and said, like, hey, I feel a

461
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,120
Speaker 2: bit left out because everyone's part of this Mother's Day,

462
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,200
Speaker 2: things sense and I always yeah, and I always feel

463
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,199
Speaker 2: like I can never come, but I want to, you know,

464
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 2: even though I'm not, I'd like to be there. That

465
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 2: would have made sense. But her argument is I'm a

466
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 2: mother too. I have a dog, like, oh.

467
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: He's not invited to this thingy op, he's not throwing

468
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,439
Speaker 1: a fit at least not that she's telling us. I

469
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,639
Speaker 1: listened to her for a bit, but when she started

470
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 1: to get actually angry with our other friends, I told

471
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 1: her they had a point in not inviting us. We

472
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 1: could deal with not being invited to the one or

473
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,359
Speaker 1: two celebrations out of the year that's for families. She

474
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 1: asked if that means I don't think of my cats

475
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,439
Speaker 1: and dogs as family. I told her I do, but

476
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,399
Speaker 1: it's not the same. I told her that the outing

477
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 1: is for real moms and their kids. Our friends are

478
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 1: actually making sacrifices, giving up time, energy and resources that

479
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,200
Speaker 1: we don't. I gave the example that for her pup,

480
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,880
Speaker 1: she got her at eleven weeks and she was already

481
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 1: born and weaned. She had helped training her at a

482
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 1: doggy academy free and easy adoption, and she has her

483
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 1: in doggie daycare five days a week and any time

484
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,959
Speaker 1: she wants to take off, and a groomer does all

485
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 1: the bathing and trimming. I told her, I'm not trying

486
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 1: to take away from the joy being a dog mom

487
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: brings her, but just trying to highlight how we aren't

488
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 1: the same kind of moms exactly. Layla left after that,

489
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 1: and none of us have heard from her. The only

490
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 1: one who has talked to her works with her and

491
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 1: says Leila has been making some comments about how she

492
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,680
Speaker 1: was intentionally left out and her friends don't take her

493
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:23,159
Speaker 1: serious because she doesn't have a crotch goblin. Okay, oh,

494
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 1: he's being left out.

495
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 2: Too, Yeah, are you talking about her?

496
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:26,679
Speaker 1: She's not.

497
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 2: She could have made a commerce like she could have

498
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 2: brought that up and said, hey, I would like to come.

499
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 2: I feel like I've been left out as you guys

500
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 2: have kids, I want to join these parties. That could

501
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 2: have been the argument. Her argument's bad.

502
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 1: She's taking it a little bit too personal. Yeah, Like

503
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: I feel like she maybe is left out of other things,

504
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 1: or maybe she's not available to come, so that when

505
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 1: there's something where she's like actively excluded, it just maybe

506
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,199
Speaker 1: hurts a little. B Yeah, I'm starting to think I

507
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 1: may have messed up and should have just been quiet

508
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 1: and let her be mad for a bit. Am I

509
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 1: the a hole?

510
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 2: I don't think you've done anything else. No, I don't

511
00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,880
Speaker 2: think you've done like a single thing.

512
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 1: You tried to like talk sense into Leylai. Yeah, you

513
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 1: were the voice of reason when she didn't have anyone

514
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 1: to talk to. She came to you. Like maybe sometimes

515
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: the answer is to kind of let people stew in

516
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 1: their anger. But I don't think that OPI would have

517
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,400
Speaker 1: had any malicious intention. Now, it was just like, hey,

518
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: just look at it from their perspective, like, I'm not

519
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: going to I have cats, I'm not but hurt about this.

520
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,200
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you tried, and she's been a little

521
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,200
Speaker 2: bit of a diva about it. So I think that

522
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 2: you can't control the letter actions let her figure yourself out.

523
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 1: Honestly, there's an edit. Our mom friends do not just

524
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 1: randomly exclude us. The first two years of having kids,

525
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 1: we did celebrate together those of us without kids. It

526
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 1: was more than just she and I at first could

527
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 1: not talk at length about parenting and families. Going someplace

528
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: after lunch had to be kid friendly because the parents

529
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 1: wanted to have their kids with him. We wanted to

530
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 1: go to a bar or a day trip. Our friends

531
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,119
Speaker 1: with kids have always made sure to not gush about

532
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,440
Speaker 1: their kids all the time as a group, So as

533
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: a group, we all decided. Layla included that the Mother's

534
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 1: Day lunch would just be for the moms and their kids,

535
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 1: so they can all do kid friendly activities and gush

536
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 1: about their kids all they wanted. Back then, Laylah would

537
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: get bored with them talking about their kids too much

538
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,199
Speaker 1: or spending too much time and attention on kid picks

539
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,639
Speaker 1: and not other topics. She still has that same attitude today.

540
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 1: There's the second edit. Unless she is keeping the info

541
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 1: to herself, Layla chooses to be child free, and it's

542
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 1: not an issue of being childless. Her marriage did end

543
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 1: because her ex eventually changed his mind to wanting kids.

544
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: She took it pretty hard when she found out he

545
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 1: remarried and has kids now and got Lemon not too

546
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 1: long after that. There's another update. Thank you everyone for

547
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 1: your input and insight. Some of the gals and I

548
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: met with Layla this past weekend to talk with her

549
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 1: and see if we could make a compromise and just

550
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,479
Speaker 1: see how she's doing. See they care about you, Laylah.

551
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, all you had to do is talk to them.

552
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 1: It's one day a year.

553
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: It's Mother's Day.

554
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 1: One day Mother's Day. Come on.

555
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:00,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

556
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 1: I apologize to her for my wording of real moms

557
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 1: instead of saying moms with human kids. Okay, I think

558
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: that's taking a little too far. I don't think you

559
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: didn't need to apologize for that.

560
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:09,640
Speaker 2: That's nice.

561
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: I think that's like giving her a little too much

562
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 1: credit there for saying real moms with human kids are

563
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 1: something similar. I also apologized for the examples I used

564
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,640
Speaker 1: and explained. I felt just that if I said, remember,

565
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 1: we agreed to this because we didn't like hearing about

566
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 1: kids all day and doing kid friendly things would have

567
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: been invalidating. We all told her she's an amazing dog

568
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 1: mom to Lemon and didn't thing less of her, just that,

569
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: like we originally agreed, Mother's Day would be the one

570
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 1: day they can talk about their kids without restraint and

571
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 1: do kid friendly things without worrying on infringing on child

572
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 1: free friends. After that, I brought up the pet Parents'

573
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: Day and Dog Mom Day users mentioned in my original post,

574
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 1: and we proposed doing a celebration for her on one

575
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 1: of those days. We even said we do a belated

576
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: pet parent slash dog Mom Day celebration since we hadn't

577
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 1: heard of them prior. I think that's a little bit

578
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: like patronizing and fantilizing.

579
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 2: This is a little bit I mean, I guess that's

580
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: really nice of you, but it is a little bit like,

581
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's nice a sending.

582
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: I feel like the intention is there, yeah, but it's

583
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: it's not a fix to the scenario.

584
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 2: I think the Yeah, I feel like maybe yeah.

585
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 1: Feeling isolated and not knowing how to express it.

586
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. Maybe maybe she likes it. We'll see.

587
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: Leila asked if everyone and their kids would be there,

588
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 1: and they said if she wants it like the get

589
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 1: together for Lemon with multiple dogs, then no, because of

590
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 1: the dog allergies. She said no to this because she

591
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: feels a separate celebration isn't acknowledging her as a mom,

592
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: and they don't skip the kids party slash games, so

593
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: it shouldn't be any different when Lemon has her doggy

594
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: friends around. I gently reminded her that she often leaves

595
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: the kids' birthday parties early or skips them entirely because

596
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 1: she doesn't like being around kids for long. She said

597
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,399
Speaker 1: it's different, so we asked her how she would like

598
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 1: to do future Mother's Day events. She wants them to

599
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: go out to eat at dog friendly places and do

600
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: dog friendly activities after so she can have Lemon and

601
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: Lemon Caid have friends to play at the same time

602
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 1: like kids do.

603
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 2: This is crazy.

604
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 1: We explained to her that it wouldn't be feasible due

605
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,160
Speaker 1: to the kids with allergies.

606
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 2: This is so funny because they're going in circles. They're like,

607
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 2: the kids have allergies, and she's like, well, I just

608
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 2: don't think it's fair because I think that Lemons should

609
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 2: have her dog friends. And they're like, the kids have allergies,

610
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 2: and she's like, well, I want the dogs to all come,

611
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 2: and they're like, well, they can't happen because the kids

612
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 2: have allergies.

613
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: And then it's like, well, what about you guys leaving

614
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: during my party? Well you leave during our thing?

615
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, well but you don't like stupid. Honestly, you guys

616
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 2: need to stop like coddling her. She doesn't need her

617
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: dog mom Day. I'm actually annoyed at her now. I

618
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 2: don't know.

619
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 1: Her suggestion was to just let the kids that are

620
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: allergic stay home and their moms can do something with them.

621
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: In the evening, our friends said leaving kids out of

622
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 1: Mother's Day wasn't possible and that we already do monthly

623
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 1: things together. Layla included that the kids are left out

624
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,119
Speaker 1: and Layla gets to bring Lemon to most of those things.

625
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 2: My god, Literally they're talking to her like she's a baby. Yeah, Like, Leyla,

626
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,479
Speaker 2: we already do things together. She's like, what dogs, just

627
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 2: leave your kids at home? And they're like, Layla, it's

628
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,719
Speaker 2: Mother's Day. We can't leave our kids at home, and

629
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 2: she's like the mother, I'm a mother to a dog.

630
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: Well, Sophie, you know what Layla and Lemon could do together.

631
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: They could listen to full episodes with stories just like this.

632
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 1: They all you have to do is just go to Spotify,

633
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or whatever your favorite podcast app is and

634
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: looked for Okay storytime, there's one more relevant update. Do

635
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: you have any other thoughts besides just annoyance?

636
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 2: Annoyance La, I'm just annoyed at Laila. Leayla is being

637
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 2: a baby. I love my dog so much, you're being stupid.

638
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 2: You're being stupid. You can love your dog and I'll

639
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 2: be stupid. But let's finish this story off.

640
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: Layla said no, either Lemon gets accepted everywhere all the time,

641
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: Mother's Day included, or it's nothing. I then asked her

642
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: if she was really doing okay any of this had

643
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: to do with her ex remarrying. She got really mad

644
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 1: at that and left, So I'm going to guess yes,

645
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: We're going to give her space for now, but some

646
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: of the others aren't willing to hang out with her

647
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 1: anymore after she suggested leaving the kids out and comparing

648
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: the kids and Lemon. I'll still try to give her

649
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: support and have asked her family to keep an eye

650
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,479
Speaker 1: at her see if they can talk to her. There

651
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 1: are some comments We've got. Comment number one, Layla seems

652
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: to have a my way or no way kind of attitude.

653
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:28,199
Speaker 1: You all have apologized endlessly for her behavior. That's another thing.

654
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 1: They don't need to apologize for something that Layla's doing.

655
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 2: Exactly.

656
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: You have all apologized endlessly for her behavior, tried to

657
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: come to a compromise, and she still just walks out.

658
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 1: She's unwilling to listen and kind of comes off as

659
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 1: a bit of crazy with her demands. I might sound

660
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: like an a hole, but maybe not give her so

661
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: much spot Exactly, it's almost enabling her. I feel like,

662
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: if there's not a united front, she's going to think

663
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: her behavior is acceptable and it's not. She's going through

664
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: a hard time, but instead of talking out her anger

665
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 1: with a therapist, she's taking it out on your friend group.

666
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,959
Speaker 1: And that's not there to anyone. Opie said. I couldn't

667
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,479
Speaker 1: put our entire conversation into the post, but during our

668
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: conversation with her, she did say things that made it

669
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 1: clear a lot of this new attitude was coming from

670
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: her new friends from the doggy daycare.

671
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 2: All the doggy daycare people are like.

672
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 1: Oh, I've talked about them.

673
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, all of your friends aren't letting you bring your dog.

674
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 2: That's totally discrimination.

675
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: And of course they're going to take the sides of

676
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: the dog. They're like all doggy daycare. Yeah, those friends

677
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: have family and other friends that will treat the dog

678
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: just like children, gifts, watching them clothing, car taking them

679
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: on trips, calling them niece, nephew, god dogs. And that's

680
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 1: what she wants and expects from us as well. So

681
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 1: I don't think a united front would work either. She's

682
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: around others who get this kind of acceptance and encouragement,

683
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: so when we say no, she's taking it as us

684
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 1: not supporting her. Another comment, Yeah, honestly, good on those

685
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: friends who don't want to hang out with her anymore.

686
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,239
Speaker 1: She was ridiculous in your first post, and she's ridiculous. Now,

687
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: what are some of the good qualities she has as

688
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 1: a friend, because wow, Opie said, prior she was a

689
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 1: really good friend. Used to be the kind of person

690
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: you could talk to and she'd offer an outside box,

691
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 1: bigger picture perspective, which is so ironic.

692
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so funny because she can't seem to.

693
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: Do that for her now. Really kind. She didn't used

694
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 1: to be so dismissive of our friends with kids and

695
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: their kids. Good humor, smart, helpful, charitable, did a lot

696
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: of volunteer wors tried to cheer you up, compassionate and

697
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: open minded, appreciated their effort to minimize talking about their kids,

698
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 1: and was happy with it. How she's acting now is

699
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: not at all how she was when we were growing

700
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 1: up until all of this. Man that so man Leila

701
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: friends ault, she's a cult in the cult.

702
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that is the end of that story. Hey,

703
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 2: it's Sam, your og host.

704
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 1: Here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

705
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My

706
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 2: oldest friend was unsupportive during a personal struggle, so I

707
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: cut her off.

708
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: I guess the there is no such thing as friends

709
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: to the end anymore.

710
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 2: Buckle up. This is a long one for context, Me

711
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 2: thirty seven female, and my oldest friend, thirty seven female,

712
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 2: let's call her Nancy, were born about a month apart

713
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 2: from each other. Our grandparents were neighbors, so we basically

714
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 2: grew up together. That's fun until now, I guess by

715
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 2: the way this comes from by guilt buy and if

716
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 2: you want to smit your own stories, go to our

717
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: slashooky storytime. Supured it. So although our grandparents lived in

718
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 2: the same building, we had a very different lifestyle and upbringings.

719
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 2: Neither of us were rich, but I grew up with

720
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: happily married parents who tried for a baby for seven years,

721
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 2: while her mom had her when she was nineteen and

722
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 2: was forced to marry her sorry excuse of a father.

723
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 2: She agrees with this part. I also had a very

724
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 2: stable life, while she moved around a lot, and her

725
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 2: only sense of stability came from her grandparents, who passed

726
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 2: when we were teens. Her mother was super strict and

727
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 2: wouldn't let her do anything, afraid she would repeat history.

728
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 2: Now to the story. Since very young, even before our

729
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 2: teenage years, my other friends always felt like Nan she

730
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 2: was in some sort of competition with me. She wanted

731
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 2: the same clothes, same toys, to study in the same schools.

732
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 2: But for me, this passed like regular child behavior, and

733
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 2: I think that up to that point I made excuses

734
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 2: because I knew how tough her life was. The First

735
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 2: time I really noticed that was when I decided on

736
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 2: a major and she immediately decided to major in the

737
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: same field. I understand that millions of people study the

738
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: same thing, and I'm fine with it. It was the

739
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: context threw me off, because we were planning for you

740
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 2: and I for a year, and not once had she

741
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 2: expressed interest in that field until I decided to go

742
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 2: for it. We ended up studying away together for a

743
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 2: few months, but then I changed majors and eventually transferred

744
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 2: universities altogether. I always said that my biggest dream was

745
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 2: to live abroad, and when she told me she also

746
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 2: had plans to leave the country, I was super excited.

747
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: I knew how hard her life was and whatever she

748
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 2: could do to get rid of those toxic people, she

749
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 2: should absolutely go for it. So she found an O

750
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 2: pair program and she left for Europe, and I truly

751
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 2: think that's when her life began. It was tough, as

752
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 2: it always is the beginning of moving to a different country,

753
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 2: and although I think it did her good in regard

754
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 2: to her family, on the other hand, she became extremely competitive.

755
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 2: At the same time, I was living in the US

756
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 2: in an exchange program, and I was living my best life.

757
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 2: I was a waitress and Americans tip super well, and

758
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 2: I won't lie. I was doing really well for myself.

759
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 2: My parents always gave me everything I needed, but that

760
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 2: was the first time that I could actually afford everything

761
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 2: I wanted. So I bought an iPhone, a MacBook, digital cameras, speakers,

762
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 2: all the electronics I could think of that are super

763
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: expensive in my country that I knew I wouldn't have

764
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 2: the chance to buy otherwise, and I traveled a lot

765
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 2: around the country as well. I love having the latest technology,

766
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: but I don't need it to be happy. If I

767
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: have the opportunity, sure, but it's not something I'll go

768
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 2: out of my way to get or spend money I

769
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 2: don't have, and I never was the one to show

770
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: what I have either, especially in my country where it's

771
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 2: not safe. So I kept my stuff pretty much to myself,

772
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 2: but for some reason, she would ask about it and

773
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 2: always make a snarky comment. Cut to the latest years.

774
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 2: She's been living in Europe for a few years. Already

775
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 2: she had a more stable job, met her husband, had

776
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 2: a baby, and life was good. I was and still am,

777
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 2: very happy for and the life she created for herself.

778
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 2: On my side, I moved to Canada about five years

779
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 2: after she moved to Europe. I struggled a lot for

780
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 2: the first few years. I was in a super toxic

781
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 2: relationship and money was also an issue because as an

782
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 2: immigrant it wasn't that easy to find jobs and although

783
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 2: I speak English fluently, I came to the one part

784
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 2: of Canada where I needed to learn French, which actually

785
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 2: I did. Yeah, moving to Canada. When where are they

786
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 2: originally from? Are they from the US? I don't think so.

787
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: I don't think they're from the US, because yeah, because

788
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 1: it just that although Americans, yeah, Americans tip very well,

789
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 1: like as in the exchange program, and I couldn't get

790
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: the technology that we have in America in their home country.

791
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 2: And also doesn't seem like they're from Europe.

792
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 1: They're not from Europe. They're not from Canada, not from America.

793
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 1: So that I'm guessing maybe either an Asian country or

794
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: a Latin American country.

795
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, and possibly like somewhere where like family, because the

796
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 2: mom was like forced to Yeah.

797
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 1: Initially I was going to like attribute the competitiveness to

798
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: maybe cultural h but if within their own like community,

799
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: that sort of competition isn't seen as normal to their

800
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: own friends, I don't think that that's a cultural thing.

801
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 1: I think that maybe it is a competition thing. But

802
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:22,440
Speaker 1: also like yeah, maybe by copying ope, like the friend

803
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: could have potentially associated op with like the good parts

804
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: of their childhood. Yeah, so they're trying to maybe capture

805
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 1: that sort of stability or maybe keep Opee in their

806
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 1: life for as long as possible, because it's like they're

807
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 1: chasing that source of comfort.

808
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So basically our buying power was reversed, maybe

809
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 2: for the first time ever, and everything that I would

810
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: conquer that I was excited to share with her was

811
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 2: met with something she did better. Today, after so many

812
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 2: years in Canada, my life is stable again. I met

813
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: my partner and we have a beautiful baby boy, and

814
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 2: I just avoid sharing if I bought something new or

815
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 2: if I got a promotion, and if it comes up

816
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 2: in conversation, I would try to diminish it's important so

817
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 2: it wouldn't be a source of competition. Last December, we

818
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,280
Speaker 2: visited my in laws in Europe. When I was pregnant.

819
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 2: The year prior, we had plans to go spend a

820
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 2: part of summer with my in laws in the south

821
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 2: of the country, and because Nancy and her husband were

822
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 2: going to be in that country as well for an event,

823
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 2: we decided to spend one day together. I ended up

824
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 2: not being able to travel, so when I said I

825
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 2: was coming to Europe for Christmas, she decided to come

826
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 2: visit me. Mind you, I am a guest at my

827
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,720
Speaker 2: in law's house. I cannot invite people over. She decided

828
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 2: to go on her own with her kid, who I

829
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 2: absolutely adore, by the way, and stay for five days.

830
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 2: And although I was very happy to see her, I

831
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: made sure to tell her that I wasn't even on vacation,

832
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 2: I was just working remotely. She still wanted to come,

833
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 2: bought the tickets, and then asked where she could stay.

834
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:43,919
Speaker 2: I gave her my in law's address so she could

835
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 2: find a hotel or airbnb close by. She did not

836
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,320
Speaker 2: like that, and from the moment she booked that hotel,

837
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,879
Speaker 2: she felt entitled to have everything else paid for. Now

838
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 2: OPI literally said, like, I'm working. If you want to come, sure, Hm,

839
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 2: you decided to come, you have to be able to

840
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 2: pay for that. You can't just tell people to pay

841
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 2: for you.

842
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 1: What do you define as a friend, like Sophia like,

843
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: ever since they split apart, I don't think that they

844
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:09,720
Speaker 1: were friends.

845
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 2: No, I agree, I think that they've been in competition.

846
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 2: It's like, I feel like you guys are friendly, but

847
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 2: I feel like that friendship is like it seems like

848
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 2: it's grown apart a lot and now it's just kind

849
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,240
Speaker 2: of somewhat antagonistic in ways.

850
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: If Opie has to hide what she's doing, what she's

851
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 1: buying from this former friend from Nancy, then that's not

852
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 1: a friendship anymore. You're regulating what they see. Yeah, a

853
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: friendship should be like supportive. This is not supportive at all,

854
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: not at all.

855
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 2: When we arrive, my son immediately started showing symptoms of

856
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 2: a viral infection. Uh oh, he was feverish, wasn't sleeping,

857
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 2: wasn't eating. It was heck for four straight days. She

858
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 2: arrived one day after we did, and my mother in

859
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 2: law lent me her car to pick them up at

860
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 2: the airport that was about an hour away from the

861
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 2: city we were staying in. I told her about my son,

862
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 2: who's won by the way, and she's seen I'm sympathetic

863
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 2: because her son had the same virus when he was

864
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,240
Speaker 2: a baby. But it turns out no, she demanded my attention.

865
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 2: Almost twenty four to seven. I was barely sleeping taking

866
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 2: care of a sick baby, and on top of that,

867
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 2: I was feeling guilty because she needed attention, and at

868
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 2: top of that, you're working. She did not go anywhere

869
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 2: without me and was not happy when I was late

870
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 2: for something. My in laws are very reserved people and

871
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 2: they wanted to be with family only since they don't

872
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 2: see us enough, So they were okay inviting her for

873
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 2: lunch one day, but they didn't invite her for anything else.

874
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 2: So I had to find activities for us without really

875
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 2: knowing the city either, and miss a bunch of time

876
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 2: away from my sick baby. I won't even mention work.

877
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 2: I know by the way Nancy talks about her mother

878
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: in law that she feels entitled to rule their house

879
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 2: because they live together different floors, which is not my problem.

880
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 2: You deal with your mother in law the way you

881
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 2: think is best, but I respect my in laws and

882
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 2: I would never act that way in any circumstances, but

883
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 2: especially not towards them or my parents for that matter.

884
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 2: Also important, me and my partner had some considerable issues

885
00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 2: with one of our properties and we had to spend

886
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 2: and basically all our savings to fix the place. I

887
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 2: was on maternity leave for a year and my salary

888
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 2: was cut to less than half. The only reason we

889
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 2: were able to travel is because his parents paid for

890
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,919
Speaker 2: the tickets for us to come for Christmas. Little context here,

891
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 2: we don't own multiple properties. We both had our respective

892
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: apartments when we met, and when I got pregnant, we

893
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 2: decided to move to a bigger place, but rent the

894
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 2: other apartments instead of selling them. She knew about all

895
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 2: the issues we were having, and she still expected me

896
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 2: to pay for almost everything. And I'm going to list

897
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 2: some of the things that happened here. I paid for

898
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,280
Speaker 2: all the ubers back and forth from places we visited

899
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 2: that amounted to over one hundred and fifty euros. I

900
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,360
Speaker 2: paid for coffees, desserts, pastries, at least not for four meals.

901
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 2: She didn't offer it out with gas at all for

902
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 2: my mother in law's car when I picked her up

903
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 2: at the airport. She also spent over one hundred euros

904
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 2: on cheese and wine to bring back home, but never

905
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 2: got anything to share with us or my partner's family

906
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 2: when she was invited for lunch. She went out for

907
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 2: lunch with the family one time, me, my partner's parents,

908
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: and our son, and when the waiter asked how to

909
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 2: do the bill, she didn't offer to pay her part

910
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: at all, and my partner had to pay for them.

911
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 2: The last night she had a mid morning flight, she

912
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 2: still didn't know how to get to the airport the

913
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 2: next day and expected my mother in law to lend

914
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 2: me the car again, which wasn't happening because it was

915
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,399
Speaker 2: the last Saturday before Christmas and she needed the car

916
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,720
Speaker 2: to pick up stuff she had ordered from the market. Also,

917
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 2: it's her car and she does whatever she wants with it.

918
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 2: If you're the one traveling, figure out your own plans.

919
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:27,359
Speaker 2: But guess what, she wanted me to rent a car

920
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 2: to driver to the airport.

921
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 1: There's a fundamental respect issue.

922
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, just the fact that she's kind of

923
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 2: encroaching on op and her family's plans for seemingly Christmas

924
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 2: is pretty wild.

925
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 1: I feel like Nancy feels entitled to Opie's time because

926
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: they grew up to you.

927
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, oh, well, I'm taking the time to

928
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 2: come visit you, so you have to come hang out.

929
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, And like I think she sees it as like

930
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 1: an inconvenience to her. Yeah. I think that there's a

931
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,360
Speaker 1: chip on Nancy's shoulder because she did grow up with

932
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: such a hard life and now was like doing a

933
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 1: better herself. Yeah, so I feel like she's maybe not

934
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 1: one hundred percent intentionally, but it's kind of lording it.

935
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 1: I think sound op yeah in somewhere for yeah.

936
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 2: I was lucky enough that the city we were staying

937
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 2: in was so little that every car rental needed a

938
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: European driver's license, and not all European countries were accepted,

939
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 2: so neither of us could rent a car there. But

940
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 2: I found her train tickets. The train station was an

941
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,359
Speaker 2: eight minute Uber ride from her hotel. She would arrive

942
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 2: with plenty of time to get an Uber and go

943
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 2: to the airport, which was another twenty minutes. She was

944
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 2: upset because she would have to wake up earlier than

945
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:34,359
Speaker 2: she planned, but accepted. Oh my god. I cent her

946
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 2: the train options and the linkfer to buy them, and

947
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,760
Speaker 2: her answer was you can buy the extensive one, and guys,

948
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 2: I did. She's not even bag for anything. Dude. I'd

949
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 2: be like, oh sorry, I can't do that, and just

950
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 2: a response. Not only that, but the next day I

951
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 2: woke up super early, got uber, picked them up at

952
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 2: the hotel, chop them off at the train station, and

953
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 2: took an Uber back to my in laws. Now you

954
00:40:56,040 --> 00:41:00,360
Speaker 2: must be thinking what if me, and you're right, But honestly,

955
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 2: I was so exhausted because of my baby and the

956
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,919
Speaker 2: lack of sleep that all I wanted was for them

957
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 2: to leave. I could not come up with the energy

958
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 2: to do anything else. And it's not about the money. Obviously,

959
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 2: I'm worried about the money because I don't have much

960
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 2: right now, but it's more about the principle, because if

961
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 2: I had the money, I wouldn't care about paying for her.

962
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 2: In fact, I've done it several times before when I

963
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 2: knew I was in a better position. I'm still very

964
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 2: upset about that. But there were also some other messages

965
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 2: and comments that really threw me off, like her buying

966
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,479
Speaker 2: a super expensive running smart watch and she doesn't even run,

967
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 2: but I have one my parents gave me for my

968
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 2: birthday because I do run. Another trying to warn up.

969
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're going back to the copying of what she has. Yeah,

970
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 1: even when she's doing better, Yeah, she's still trying to compete.

971
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 2: Wh are you acting like this? One day I woke

972
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 2: up to a message, completely unsolicited, asking me if she

973
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,880
Speaker 2: could consider changing her upcoming trip to our home country

974
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 2: tickets to premium because it was only five hundred euros more.

975
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. By the way, you can listen to

976
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 2: premium full episodes of stories just like this. Just go

977
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:04,240
Speaker 2: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay,

978
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 2: straight time, but there is a little bit left insane

979
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 2: that this woman was like, OK, can you pay five

980
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: hundred dollars for me please?

981
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:14,399
Speaker 1: I think part of it stems from Opie saying that

982
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: she's done it before. Yeah, she's paid this before.

983
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 2: She keeps doing it. I mean, she did it with

984
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 2: the Uber, she did it with the train tickets. She

985
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 2: just keeps letting her friend quote unquote get away with

986
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 2: all of this, and so her friend's just gonna keep

987
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 2: taking money until you put your foot down.

988
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: I feel like part of it might be like just

989
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,879
Speaker 1: a feeling since they did grow up together. Yeah, maybe

990
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 1: it's a feeling of protectiveness like that. Maybe possibly, Yeah,

991
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 1: she said, shows recognized that Nancy is not from the

992
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,320
Speaker 1: best of backgrounds, and like friends tend to be protective

993
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:45,879
Speaker 1: of each other.

994
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, but at this point they're not friends anymore. No,

995
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 2: just no, like she's just a person you've known for

996
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 2: a really long time. There is a little bit left

997
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,360
Speaker 2: to this story. I just answered, if you have the money,

998
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 2: why not. But inside I was screaming like come on,

999
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 2: and I couldn't have contributed to one uber ride one coffee,

1000
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 2: not even asking to pay for me, just yourself and

1001
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 2: your son. I think she's saying that she's gonna pay

1002
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 2: the five hundred euros, but OP is upset because she's like,

1003
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 2: if you had the money to pay for a premium ticket,

1004
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 2: why were you asking me to pay for everything? Which

1005
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:17,880
Speaker 2: is still yeah, the issue was still the same, but

1006
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 2: just slightly just.

1007
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: I read it as she was asking OP to bump

1008
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,080
Speaker 1: up their tickets. That's what I thought, to the premium

1009
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: because they're only five hundred more.

1010
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 2: Which is also crazy because instead of just doing that,

1011
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,919
Speaker 2: she's telling Ope that she has the money. She's like, yeah,

1012
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:34,399
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pay five hundred euros more.

1013
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. It's rubbing it in her face.

1014
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've thought about talking to her before cutting contact,

1015
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 2: but I'm not confrontational. If it wasn't obvious, I'm a

1016
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 2: people pleaser. It was very obvious, and I know she

1017
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 2: would get defensive because one dime I disagreed with her

1018
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 2: and she got really pissed and I'm too tired to

1019
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 2: go there. Am I the ale for wanting to go

1020
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 2: low contact? No, honestly, it should have been low contact

1021
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 2: years and years ago. Like I feel like you just

1022
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 2: keep letting her kind of come back into your life

1023
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 2: and exploit you for money. But that is the end

1024
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 2: of that story.

1025
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: Hey, it's johniog host here. We're gonna get back to

1026
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 1: the stories, but here's a quick three minute break of

1027
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors. I supported my friend during her struggles,

1028
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: but she didn't do the same for me. Dropper, Just

1029
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 1: like that, like a hopit dropper, She's gone. Hi, I'm

1030
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 1: twenty seven female. I apologize for any grammatical mistakes, as

1031
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: English is not my first language. This is my first post,

1032
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 1: and I hope people don't be too rough. I also

1033
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 1: sometimes think what I did was wrong, but it's been

1034
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 1: one and a half years and now I just want

1035
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: to get it off my system. By the way, this

1036
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 1: comes from Lost Visit six eight niney five and if

1037
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to our

1038
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: slash storytime Separate it. So, now coming to the topic.

1039
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 1: I met my then best friend let's call her Sia

1040
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: a decade ago in twenty fifteen. I went to my

1041
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 1: maternal house for graduation and that's where I first met

1042
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: her in a tuition class and we instantly clicked.

1043
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,880
Speaker 2: A tuition class. I don't tuition class I've.

1044
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: Never heard of that. She had a very outgoing personality,

1045
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 1: is very pretty, and lots of guys used to dote

1046
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 1: on her. But one thing I must mention is that

1047
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: she was a bit should I say, naive. She had

1048
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: a key headphone, couldn't understand memes, and didn't know about corn.

1049
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,439
Speaker 1: I was the one who introduced it to her. Over

1050
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,239
Speaker 1: our seven years of friendship, I taught her everything, how

1051
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 1: to create boundaries, be polite, feel confident, and so many

1052
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,800
Speaker 1: other things which I'll explain later. You're like her mentor

1053
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 1: you're her lifeline.

1054
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:33,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're her life coach.

1055
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: Honestly, really, that's not your job. You're not her mother. Yeah,

1056
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 1: I've created a new personality for her which is somewhat

1057
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,879
Speaker 1: similar to me. Oh, I don't like that.

1058
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 2: It feels like clueless.

1059
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, they don't have the closet though. Yeah, it

1060
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 1: seems a little bit like it probably was unintentional because

1061
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 1: she's teaching her all these things in.

1062
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 2: Mind and she's just kind of mind.

1063
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think it feels like it's unintentional that

1064
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 1: she made like a mini version of.

1065
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 2: They go out into the world. Yeah, they seem a

1066
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 2: little codependent. Mm hmm.

1067
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 1: She used to live in a fairy tale and had

1068
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 1: little experience in practical life. Even though people were using her,

1069
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: she would let them. She's from a very conservative but

1070
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 1: wealthy family from the countryside, and her father was one

1071
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,760
Speaker 1: of those people who pushed for a son. Oh that's sad.

1072
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 1: They have three sisters, and her father stopped only because

1073
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,399
Speaker 1: her mother couldn't take it. There's that toxicity. Anyways, when

1074
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 1: I first met her, people used to gossip about her

1075
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 1: because she broke up with one of our seniors. It

1076
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 1: was a small town. She was a pretty young lady,

1077
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: so people loved to gossip. Anyways, me and another friend

1078
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,720
Speaker 1: backed her up and told people off on her behalf

1079
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 1: and everything was going fine. We told her she should

1080
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: take some time off from dating, but she started dating

1081
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 1: behind our backs. That's a weird way to phrase it.

1082
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 2: D Yeah, behind your backs, you're not again, she's allowed

1083
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 2: to do whatever she wants, not her mother.

1084
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:53,399
Speaker 1: She's allowed to date. And like, maybe she didn't want

1085
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 1: to tell you because maybe.

1086
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 2: You guys were a little bit You're like, oh, she's nice.

1087
00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 2: You don't understand. I think you're treating her kind of like, Yeah,

1088
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:02,240
Speaker 2: she isn't fair. She's a lot to date people.

1089
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 1: She used to live in a PG and her roommates

1090
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,799
Speaker 1: kind of pushed her, as she said to me, so

1091
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 1: she hid it from me and told me months later

1092
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 1: because her boyfriend was afraid that I would say no.

1093
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: I take care of myself pretty well, so people don't

1094
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 1: cross boundaries. Maybe that's why, even if they gossip behind

1095
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 1: my back, they don't have the guts to say in

1096
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: front of me. I didn't mind much because we weren't

1097
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: exactly best friends. The day she told me about the guy,

1098
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: I knew they would eventually break up, mostly because she

1099
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 1: was way out of his league, and they also have

1100
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 1: different casts, which is a big deal in India. Okay,

1101
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 1: I can kind of see all or part of this

1102
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 1: is coming from. On one hand, it's also kind of

1103
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 1: like it's upsetting to me. It's like, oh, I knew

1104
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: you were going to break up from the beginning.

1105
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 2: Which is also where I'm like a little bit thinking

1106
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 2: maybe OP is somewhat of an unreliable narrator, because it

1107
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 2: seems like they're falling into this thinking of like the

1108
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 2: cast system, right, They're like, oh, well, he's done in

1109
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 2: the cast, so he's not he's not worthy of dating

1110
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:57,759
Speaker 2: this girl, it's like okay, it's.

1111
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 1: Also incredibly like peppered with judgment. So this is not

1112
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 1: an objective view, and it's not even they're not trying

1113
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 1: to be objective. I think they are trying. They're venting.

1114
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 1: Plus her parents would never accept him, and that's a

1115
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: story for another day, and that's also juicy. Things went

1116
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 1: smoothly and we didn't study at all during our first

1117
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,439
Speaker 1: year and had a great time hanging out, all three

1118
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,479
Speaker 1: of us. But things started to go downhill when exams came.

1119
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 1: We didn't have semesters and had only one exam at

1120
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 1: the end of each year. That's a lot of pressure. Yeah,

1121
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: one exam. If you failed even one subject, you'd have

1122
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 1: to repeat in a year. So I barely passed, Sea failed

1123
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 1: and her boyfriend got very good grades. She had a

1124
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 1: hard time dealing with her father, and we promised to

1125
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: study hard. Here's one thing. I don't have an outgoing personality,

1126
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 1: and during those years even less. So I don't like

1127
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: sharing my problems with people unless we have a very

1128
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 1: good bond, because if they don't listen properly, I feel

1129
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,280
Speaker 1: hurt and don't want to share anymore. During my final

1130
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 1: year of high school, I started dating my ex who

1131
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 1: was very toxic and had a lot of issues. I

1132
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:08,480
Speaker 1: was having a hard time and planned to break up

1133
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 1: with him. During that time, I also met my now

1134
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 1: fiance Blush Blush like as unreliable and kind of toxic

1135
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: as their narration is. It's fun, It's fun.

1136
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 2: It's like blush flush.

1137
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 1: Cia was a good friend to me and supported me

1138
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: throughout my breakup and starting a new relationship in twenty seventeen.

1139
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 1: After the second year results twenty seventeen, I became the

1140
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 1: top of my class, but Sia barely passed first year.

1141
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,359
Speaker 1: She was genuinely happy for me, and I supported her

1142
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,840
Speaker 1: as much as I could with notes in all for

1143
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 1: the second year. After my final year, I moved to

1144
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,320
Speaker 1: a new location to prepare for the civil exams. Cia

1145
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: was in that town, but her boyfriend also moved to

1146
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 1: the same city as me because it's the capital city

1147
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 1: of our state. I moved to a PG.

1148
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 2: PG is a rental accommodation where in a person has

1149
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 2: to pay a specific to live with the property and

1150
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 2: share facilities being offered with other people living house. There

1151
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 2: are pgs where you can share your facilities in space

1152
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 2: with one, two, or more people. Yeah, so it's just

1153
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: shared living.

1154
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a cold yeah. See. It was

1155
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 1: a bit jealous, and she would also post pictures with

1156
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: others that would make me jealous. My fiance would often

1157
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:20,280
Speaker 1: laugh and say, she's my girlfriend. I'm sorry. It's already

1158
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 1: gotten long, but I haven't started the main story yet.

1159
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 1: These are all the factors I want you all to know.

1160
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 1: I have a personality of out of sight, out of mind.

1161
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 1: I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people. But

1162
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,320
Speaker 1: for her, I tried my best and planned a surprise

1163
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 1: visit to my college town for her birthday. She was

1164
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,800
Speaker 1: very happy and the problems we were having resolved. But

1165
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 1: just after a few months, her second year result came

1166
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,760
Speaker 1: October of twenty eighteen and she had failed. She didn't

1167
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 1: have the courage to share it with her parents and

1168
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:53,239
Speaker 1: pretended to take preparation for the third year because if

1169
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 1: her father knew about it, he would marry her off

1170
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,359
Speaker 1: to someone. We're from India, so things like these are

1171
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: pretty common. She called me trying sharing all of this,

1172
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 1: and the only thing I could say to her was

1173
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 1: to pretend to complete her third year twenty nineteen March

1174
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: to April, and then come to our city so me

1175
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: and her boyfriend could help her find a job and

1176
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 1: she could pursue distance education. Okay, this is very this

1177
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: seems very dire for Seer. Yeah, Like, I feel like

1178
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 1: Opi is trying to be a good friend here mm hmm, but.

1179
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 2: It might end up like that Sea relies on her

1180
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 2: too heavily. I mean, we already know that she has

1181
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:28,320
Speaker 2: a history of that, so and Ope kind of encouraging

1182
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 2: that reliance.

1183
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 1: And if something goes wrong, then there might breed resentment

1184
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 1: on either side.

1185
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 2: Line.

1186
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, Opie would be like you didn't take my offer

1187
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 1: for help seriously enough, or Si it could be like

1188
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 1: you didn't help me enough.

1189
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, see what happened.

1190
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 1: I arranged by PG and also the coaching center that

1191
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 1: I was studying at for her father, so she had

1192
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 1: an alibi. But I wasn't there the day she came,

1193
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 1: as I had to visit my hometown. She was frankly

1194
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,880
Speaker 1: in a very bad state with all the stress. We

1195
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 1: would talk for hours about what we could do about

1196
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 1: the situation, and I would even stop talking with my fiance,

1197
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,000
Speaker 1: say so she didn't feel alone?

1198
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 2: What wait, sorry, she's jealous of your relationship with your fiance,

1199
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 2: so she's like, it'd be better if you just like

1200
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 2: didn't hang out with him or talk to him, so

1201
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 2: that you know, I don't feel alone because I don't

1202
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 2: have a relationship.

1203
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 1: However, her boyfriend was not supportive during that time at all,

1204
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 1: and she started thinking about breaking up with him. But

1205
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 1: after a couple of months, I had to move back

1206
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:24,840
Speaker 1: to my town because my brother, who was financially supporting me,

1207
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 1: couldn't do so anymore. It was sad, but I didn't

1208
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 1: have many options left. After two to three months, I

1209
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: cracked one of the preliminary rounds, so one of my

1210
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 1: maternal uncles allowed me to stay in their empty apartment.

1211
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 1: We started visiting each other's places often, but then the

1212
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 1: pandemic hit we all went back to our homes. It

1213
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 1: was hard for Sea to live with her family, and

1214
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,920
Speaker 1: all her accumulated stress also led to seizures.

1215
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 2: O no break man.

1216
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 1: Nothing is going right for this now. Geez, And now

1217
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 1: we have a story talking about her.

1218
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, now all of her troubles are posted on Reddit.

1219
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 1: Thank you Internet. She had to eat at a certain

1220
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 1: time or she might get seizures. We didn't talk much

1221
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 1: during that time. We rented a one. It looks like

1222
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:10,840
Speaker 1: a one bedroom. I'm guessing ONEBHK one bedroom. In February

1223
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,399
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty one and started living together. I would

1224
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 1: cook meals on time so she never had an empty stomach.

1225
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 1: But one day it took me longer because we had

1226
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 1: a hangover and she had seizures.

1227
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 2: Well, that's not your fault. She should be feeding herself out.

1228
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:22,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, she should ow.

1229
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 2: To take care of herself.

1230
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:25,880
Speaker 1: She knows it's good that you're helping her, Yeah, but

1231
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,359
Speaker 1: that is ultimately her responsibility. Yeah, she knows she's having

1232
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,000
Speaker 1: this seizure, she knows she needs to eat, so that

1233
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,720
Speaker 1: at that point is on her exactly. I was so afraid.

1234
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:36,759
Speaker 1: Contacted her sister who's a nurse, and followed her instructions.

1235
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 1: After that, I would always look after her and come

1236
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:42,880
Speaker 1: home so she's not alone. We also planned our dream vacation,

1237
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 1: which we had planned since twenty fifteen. I forgot to

1238
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 1: mention we made a plan, and she convinced her father

1239
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 1: and applied to a course in hospitality management and December

1240
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, during her first exam, she was so nervous

1241
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 1: that she was literally shaking. I had to help her

1242
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 1: take photos and make a PDF of her answers. It

1243
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 1: was an online exam. She later told me she was

1244
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:06,560
Speaker 1: planning on self harm but couldn't. Hearing that broke my

1245
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 1: heart and I made her promise to never think of

1246
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:10,360
Speaker 1: something like that ever. Again.

1247
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 2: That's so sad because like, I understand what he's trying

1248
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 2: to do, but that is not the way to help.

1249
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:15,960
Speaker 2: I mean, like, it's not your small again. You were

1250
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 2: not equipped to help her in that moment. But that's

1251
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 2: like based on OPE, it just tells people to not

1252
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 2: think about it, right, It doesn't work based on OP.

1253
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,879
Speaker 1: He's telling like they're doing everything that they can.

1254
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, they just don't have the you know.

1255
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's not high responsibility to fix see his

1256
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:32,799
Speaker 1: situation and their mental.

1257
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 2: Health, and they've been trying, like their whole friendship to

1258
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:35,839
Speaker 2: do this.

1259
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 1: She also broke up with her boyfriend during that time

1260
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,279
Speaker 1: of April twenty twenty one. I would often say bad

1261
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 1: things about my fiance, like we're not happy, or he's

1262
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: also not understanding even though he is, Oh, this is

1263
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 1: not good. Don't lie about your fiance, But he understood

1264
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 1: and didn't say anything. Sadly, the second phase of the

1265
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 1: VID started and we had to move back to our

1266
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,280
Speaker 1: hometown again. She had to deal with her breakup alone.

1267
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,400
Speaker 1: I tried to I call her as much as I could.

1268
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 1: We would speak three to four hours a day. She

1269
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 1: was in better shape than before, but pleaded with me

1270
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 1: to move with her again because her college started. She

1271
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,479
Speaker 1: was not confident living with others and afraid of letting

1272
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 1: her college roommates know her age. But I motivated her

1273
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,959
Speaker 1: to get rid of her insecurities and if someone wants

1274
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 1: to be her friend, they would to be honest. I

1275
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 1: didn't have any reason, but I convinced my parents that

1276
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:26,080
Speaker 1: i'd take preparations and also find a job to support myself.

1277
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 1: I found a job in December twenty twenty one. She

1278
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:30,799
Speaker 1: didn't come on the day and arrived much later. We

1279
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 1: rented in the same building, but on a different floor,

1280
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 1: so I had to move everything by myself. In October

1281
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,759
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two, she started dating a guy many years

1282
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 1: younger than her. She was twenty five twenty six and

1283
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,320
Speaker 1: he was twenty twenty one. He was the first person

1284
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,280
Speaker 1: she shared her secrets with, aside from me, her ex

1285
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 1: and my fiance. I supported her because I believe it

1286
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 1: will help her regain some of her confidence. Do you

1287
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 1: think that that's too big of an age gap, like

1288
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one versus twenty five to twenty six. It's

1289
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:58,320
Speaker 1: a little bit.

1290
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 2: As a twenty three year old, I wouldn't date a

1291
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:04,920
Speaker 2: twenty two years old. But I don't think twenty five

1292
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 2: and twenty one is crazy because I think, I mean,

1293
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:07,760
Speaker 2: you're out of college.

1294
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:09,959
Speaker 1: But part of it is that they're starting college again,

1295
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 1: both of them at the same time. Yeah, So it's

1296
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 1: like there's I do there's a lot of a kind

1297
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:16,879
Speaker 1: difference there, but they're still kind of in the same

1298
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 1: stage of life.

1299
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 2: It's not like thing I think stages life.

1300
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 1: She graduated and he's still in school. Yeah, they are

1301
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 1: starting over again, Yeah, kind of together.

1302
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think this is crazy.

1303
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 1: Okay, that's where her problems started. She started getting obsessed

1304
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 1: with him. No, her life finally started to flow. She

1305
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: met new friends who were four to five years younger

1306
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,359
Speaker 1: than me and her, and she spent more time with them.

1307
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 1: As I mentioned earlier, I don't have an outgoing personality,

1308
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 1: so I was a bit insecure. I'm not gonna lie,

1309
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,920
Speaker 1: but I didn't say so. I let her enjoy her

1310
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: life after so many years of stress and anxiety, as

1311
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,360
Speaker 1: a good friend should do. During our time in the

1312
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 1: new home, I would cook and she would clean the dishes,

1313
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 1: but she would never clean the room. Most of the

1314
00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 1: time she would go home or stay at one of

1315
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 1: her friend's houses. I was actually having a rough year

1316
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty two. My new job was pretty stressful,

1317
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,840
Speaker 1: and I would often suffer from something. One time, she

1318
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: knew I had a fever. She was staying out that night.

1319
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 1: The next day she came to our room, took her things,

1320
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 1: and went back to her friend's place. She asked me

1321
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 1: if she should stay. I said no, because her friend

1322
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 1: was waiting for her. I'll never forget that day. Wait, what,

1323
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 1: I think maybe OP expected her to take care of her.

1324
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:28,240
Speaker 1: She said no, But I think that was like that no,

1325
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 1: don't live.

1326
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, but okay, that's so childish to be like, it's no,

1327
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 2: but you should.

1328
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 1: Stay you have a fever. I I want to get

1329
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 1: your fever exactly help you. But like, I don't want.

1330
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 2: To do that. I mean, she offered to say, and

1331
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 2: you said no. It's like if you wanted her to say,

1332
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:45,479
Speaker 2: or you needed help.

1333
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 1: Don't play the game, Yeah, don't play.

1334
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 2: Don't be a coy and like, you know.

1335
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 1: If you need the help, ask for the help.

1336
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 2: What do you mean You'll never forget the day? She

1337
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:52,520
Speaker 2: hasn't do anything wrong, and that's.

1338
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: I think culturally there might be a thing of against

1339
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 1: asking for help. I cried the whole night and confronted her.

1340
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:01,919
Speaker 1: We made up. That's what I cut to. March twenty

1341
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: twenty two. She was in her second year and had

1342
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 1: to do internships. She didn't have much formal clothes, so

1343
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 1: she would wear mine. I would wake up at seven

1344
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: to make our lunch, so we'd eat at least one

1345
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:14,880
Speaker 1: home cooked meal. I would do all the grocery shopping,

1346
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: buy dinner, handle our landlord bills, and almost everything, which

1347
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 1: was hard because we were supposed.

1348
00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 2: To split it.

1349
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:24,280
Speaker 1: It was little things, but they had a big impact.

1350
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:26,280
Speaker 1: She would come to me if she had any problems,

1351
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:29,680
Speaker 1: otherwise spend her times with her new friends, like one

1352
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 1: day she had to take ivy drops in the midst

1353
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:34,440
Speaker 1: of her internship at a hospital and I went to

1354
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:37,160
Speaker 1: release her as her guardian. Another time, she lied to

1355
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:40,680
Speaker 1: her supervisor that her eldest sister had an accident who

1356
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 1: didn't even exist, and put me on a call without.

1357
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 2: Context, that's actually gonna find that.

1358
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,920
Speaker 1: There's also another day she had a seizure when me

1359
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 1: and my fiance were having a date. See, I don't

1360
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 1: mind doing these for her, but after a certain time

1361
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 1: it felt one sided. She would even copy things me

1362
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 1: and my fiance did as a couple, like are intimate

1363
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:02,640
Speaker 1: moves that I have shared with her, or some cute

1364
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 1: photo and share or showed to me, which felt creepy

1365
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 1: because she was not like that before. I feel like she's.

1366
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 2: Beings like your whole life.

1367
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:12,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like at this one your sister's Yeah.

1368
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 2: You literally you shaped her, You formed her into you.

1369
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:20,120
Speaker 1: You introduced her to non TOUCHTNE telephone, and corn and corn.

1370
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 1: I had a very hectic nine hour job with minimal pay,

1371
00:59:23,360 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 1: so I wanted to sleep earlier at eleven PM to

1372
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 1: wake up early. But she would talk to her new

1373
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 1: boyfriend and take a long time to make the bed,

1374
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 1: which irritated me. Plus she would talk to her boyfriend

1375
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 1: for hours at night.

1376
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 2: Keeping oh they're in the same room. I'm just like

1377
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 2: what okay. Yeah.

1378
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 1: Things went like this for a few months, and then

1379
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 1: she said she wanted to move to a new place

1380
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 1: for her studies. I said, fine, because I was also

1381
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: getting tired. She wanted to have her own room and

1382
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 1: tried to convince me to rent a two bedroom with her. Frankly,

1383
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 1: I didn't have the money, so I said no, and

1384
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:55,720
Speaker 1: I just moved back to my old PG. She couldn't

1385
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 1: find any rooms and decided to rent the room next

1386
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 1: to hours. One month later, I got a new job

1387
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 1: with a much higher salary and decided to stay in

1388
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,320
Speaker 1: my room because the PG said they didn't have any

1389
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 1: empty beds. Anyway. We planned our vacation with me, Sea,

1390
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 1: her sister, and her college friend because obviously I don't

1391
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 1: have friends who would go with me on a trip.

1392
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 1: You have, Sia, you have?

1393
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:16,240
Speaker 2: What about?

1394
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 1: Where is your fiance?

1395
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1396
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 1: What happened to him? Why won't he go on his dream?

1397
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 2: Here? Is he?

1398
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:22,880
Speaker 1: Does he even exist?

1399
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 2: Yeah? If he's like yeah, Sea told me to stop

1400
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:26,920
Speaker 2: hanging out with him. You know, I haven't seen him

1401
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 2: in a while.

1402
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 1: He was in her head all alone. We went on

1403
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:33,400
Speaker 1: our dream vacation on December tenth. On the last day

1404
01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 1: February fourteen, which is Valentine's Day, after I got on

1405
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 1: the train, my dad called me and said my brother

1406
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:41,480
Speaker 1: got into an accident. And broke two bones above his wrist,

1407
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: but the doctors couldn't perform surgery due to his high

1408
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:48,720
Speaker 1: blood sugar levels. February fifteen was Sea's birthday. I was

1409
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 1: panicking and she tried to support me. We went to

1410
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:54,000
Speaker 1: sleep and we celebrated her birthday on the train as

1411
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 1: best as I could. I couldn't sleep that night, and

1412
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 1: after we arrived, I called my dad to confirm if

1413
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 1: everything was fine, then took a few hours of sleep.

1414
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,360
Speaker 1: See his boyfriend and sister had planned a small party

1415
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 1: for her and asked me to participate. I was not

1416
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 1: in the mood, but I still went to the room

1417
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 1: next door and stayed the entire time. At my new job,

1418
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 1: I explained my situation and said I would have to

1419
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 1: take a few more days off. Then I went back

1420
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 1: home to see my brother the next day and stayed

1421
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:22,400
Speaker 1: there for the next two days. His sugar level was

1422
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:25,439
Speaker 1: still high and the doctor could not operate during those

1423
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:28,680
Speaker 1: two days. Everyone like those I don't often talk to,

1424
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 1: spoke to me and asked about my brother's well being,

1425
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 1: But my best friend only asked if I could explain

1426
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 1: to her how her sister could go to a particular location.

1427
01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 1: Are they best friends in now or are they not

1428
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:39,160
Speaker 1: best friends?

1429
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 2: And I don't know. You said would beginning your warm

1430
01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 2: up friend, but maybe like by this time they have

1431
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 2: to be they have to Yeah.

1432
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:48,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just shocked and said no and hung up.

1433
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:50,360
Speaker 1: I was so tired and just didn't want to talk

1434
01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: to her. I didn't even after coming back, she approached

1435
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:55,600
Speaker 1: me and I just said pleasantries and that was it.

1436
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 1: You somehow understood and stopped talking to me completely, to

1437
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 1: the point where she would shut the door even if

1438
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:03,240
Speaker 1: she saw me. Anyways, I was feeling pretty sad and

1439
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 1: thought of making up. On my birthday. She posted a

1440
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 1: photo of me saying how I was a good friend

1441
01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 1: to her in one of the best things for me.

1442
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 1: So I thought of sharing my birthday cake with her

1443
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 1: through my landlord. She rejected it. By the way, you

1444
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: don't have to reject this offer because you can listen

1445
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,200
Speaker 1: to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go

1446
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:25,600
Speaker 1: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and

1447
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: search Okay, Story of Time. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with cake,

1448
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:31,320
Speaker 1: which you can reject through your landlord. Yeah, there's another

1449
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 1: relevant update here, but let's take a minute to I

1450
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:35,520
Speaker 1: just dissect this.

1451
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:37,920
Speaker 2: I think they're both that at communicating. Mm hmm. I

1452
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:41,080
Speaker 2: feel like they both made mistakes on either side of

1453
01:02:41,120 --> 01:02:46,560
Speaker 2: this long friendship, right, and I think, you know.

1454
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:48,680
Speaker 1: I think that they're just kind of neither of them

1455
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:51,919
Speaker 1: has made truly terrible decisions. Yeah, like they haven't made

1456
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,040
Speaker 1: the best decisions.

1457
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 2: Exactly, I think. And they're just codependent.

1458
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:56,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're just being human. Yeah, Like, no one, I

1459
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 1: don't think anyone here is really at fault.

1460
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:00,880
Speaker 2: No. I feel like I I could say, like everyone

1461
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:03,080
Speaker 2: kind of a little bit here, but no one's really

1462
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 2: No one's like an a hole anybody. Yeah, I don't

1463
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 2: think anyone's an a hole. Or I think they're just

1464
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:11,160
Speaker 2: like not really great friends in terms of just like

1465
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:15,080
Speaker 2: they're friends, but they're just not good at being friends.

1466
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 1: They're good friends, yeah, but they're not good to each

1467
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:21,120
Speaker 1: other exactly. They are moderately okay to each other. Yeah,

1468
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 1: I couldn't take it anymore. I made a recording of

1469
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 1: everything I've done for her and how selfish she is,

1470
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:29,280
Speaker 1: used some bad words as well, and cut her off

1471
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:32,600
Speaker 1: from my life. Oh yeah, yeah, this is so extra. Yeah,

1472
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,600
Speaker 1: there are a lot of things I didn't mention but

1473
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:36,919
Speaker 1: did for her, doing twenty nineteen to twenty twenty three

1474
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 1: because my hands are tired. Let me know if anyone

1475
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:41,280
Speaker 1: wants to know more. I would like to know more.

1476
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 1: So Am I the a hole for breaking off a

1477
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:44,640
Speaker 1: friendship over my brother's accident?

1478
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 2: I don't know. Seems like you guys just never have

1479
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:49,640
Speaker 2: conversations about these things, Like you had that one conversation

1480
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 2: where you were like you didn't stay when I was sick,

1481
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:55,480
Speaker 2: and that and every other time you've both just like

1482
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:58,080
Speaker 2: held it in and not talked about. Yeah, but that

1483
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:00,280
Speaker 2: is the end of That's Torri