00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. 00:00:23 Speaker 2: And I said, no, guests. 00:00:27 Speaker 1: Your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff. 00:00:35 Speaker 3: So how do you dare to surbey me? Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Winneger. Look, we have we I mean we should get a little business out of the way. I apologize. We have merch. Merch is available on the internet. You're gonna have to just google it. I can never remember the the URL. But we've got greeting cards, We've got the gift master game. It's the holiday season. They want me to mention. I'm mentioning, there you go. Go get something bigger news. I'm seeing a new optometrist. And today I went and saw this man. He took my contacts out of my eyes for me. So that's something that I'm dealing with a new chapter in my life where an optometrist has reached into my eyes to pull off my contacts. So if that explains whatever energy I bring to this episode, I hope that that's a little key, a little clue. Let's get into it. Our guests. I adore I just love this man. It's Damien Fahe Damien, welcome to I said, no gifts, thank you. 00:01:57 Speaker 2: For having me. 00:01:57 Speaker 4: I adore you too. You're one of my favorite favorite people. I'd never see you ever, but we've hung out like three times, but you are truly one of my favorite people. And in fact, I didn't want to mention it on our little pre podcast chat because I figured this is a good little nugget for when we're live. But you know, Dave Holmes, I love Dave Holmes. Yeah, And so Dave Holmes. Was that some sort of a Halloween party or something and he texted me. I got a text from him and he said, I just need you to know Bridger Wineger is here and he's dressed as what was the costume? 00:02:39 Speaker 3: I went as a woman having a horrible vacation. 00:02:43 Speaker 2: I mean, that's so perfect. 00:02:47 Speaker 3: Oh, that makes me very happy. After the party, David and I had no communication at the party. He messaged me on Twitter to let me know that he had enjoyed my costume. I let him know that I hadn't recognized him until he stood up for the costume party because he had this wig on. He went as mayor of East Town. Oh okay, I had passed this kind of alarming looking person through the party with kind of a bizarre wig, not realizing it was Dave. And it all came together far too late. But I think we both admired each other's costumes from afar, or or at least kind of shocked and dismayed. 00:03:26 Speaker 4: Yes, well, I can say for him, he was admiring your costume, because you don't send a text to someone. 00:03:32 Speaker 2: Who was wonderful anyway, I'm happy to be here. This is a treat. 00:03:38 Speaker 3: I'm so happy to have you here. And like I said, up top new optometrists, Damien, do you wear contacts? 00:03:46 Speaker 2: No? 00:03:47 Speaker 4: You know what I got. I got Lasik. And let me tell you something. You may not hear this from a lot of people who get lasick. I may be the first ever to say this, but Bridger, it was the great gatest thing I've ever done. Don't you hate the laser people? That's that If you ask someone who got Lasik about Lasik, they go, let me tell you something. 00:04:10 Speaker 2: I guarantee those like ninety percent. 00:04:13 Speaker 4: Yes, it was the greatest thing I've ever done. 00:04:17 Speaker 2: And I think that speaks to. 00:04:21 Speaker 4: You know, a life below a certain threshold of excitement. You know, if getting laserk if getting a laser shot into your eye. It was the greatest thing you ever did. I think we need to take you out and you know, yeah, we. 00:04:38 Speaker 3: Get you, put you on a roller coast or something. 00:04:41 Speaker 4: Some sort of fundy, some sort of drug. You know, let's get a little dopamine pumping in you. This is just a sad statement that that's the greatest thing, but I get it. It really is an amazing It really is an amazing thing. And I got about ten years ago and I was I was working on the radio as a DJ out here, and I got it offered to me for free as part of like an endorsement. Oh okay, yeah, and my mom just had it done and I said, well, I'd like to speak to the doctor. And it was one of these these companies you hear that have like I had it like a jingle, and I always think there are so many red flags already with this. 00:05:25 Speaker 3: A jingle. 00:05:26 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, okay, this is going to be between like a liquor store, in a vape store, in a you know. 00:05:32 Speaker 2: In a little mall. But no, but I did a little video interview. 00:05:38 Speaker 4: With the guy, and I asked him, you know how many he's done. I said, I'm going to need to know how many you've done, and he goes, so I do, I probably, I do, you know, thousands of years. So I've probably done somewhere around eighty thousand of these. And I'm like, WHOA, well, that's a lot. I probably will be in good hands here, and and I was, and so it was. 00:06:00 Speaker 2: It is a remarkable thing, and kind of one of the weird. 00:06:06 Speaker 4: Parts about it is you go up until thirty three years old, I couldn't see things unless I had glasses on, you know, pretty much that length of time majority of my life, and then one day you get the surgery and you can see perfectly, and you just wake up in the morning, and it's like this weird miracle because you know, the quick moment where you wake up and you don't realize that your brain doesn't, you know, recognize that you have the surgery. So it's just like this weird miracle that happens over the course of like a month, and then you just slowly get used to it. And now there's probably two or three moments a year where just out of the blue, I'll just be like, oh right, I have lazy. I got lazy is amazing. 00:06:49 Speaker 3: Now walk me through the actual surgery, because up until literally a week ago, everyone that had had Lasik had basically described it how you had the whatever, over the top, best thing I've ever done. Then I had some coworkers, two different ones in the same meeting, say that they had to be restrained while getting the Lasik. That and also I think they were given xanax. So I'm now I'm now wondering because I have considered it. But my fear is that my primal instincts overtake me and I'm like throwing the doctor off or doing moving jerking so hard that suddenly my face is sliced open. 00:07:39 Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't want to move, you becauld, They say, don't it's really you get to a point where they well, first of all, let. 00:07:47 Speaker 2: Me just I'll take you through it. 00:07:48 Speaker 4: You do a little consultation, then you come back and then they say you cannot. You need someone to pick you up and drive you home. And I didn't have anyone at the time to do that, so I had to have one of the prize patrol employees at the radio station pick me up. So after after this crazy surgery, I'm bandaged up, I can't see anything fairly and. 00:08:17 Speaker 3: And you picked up in the prize patrol van. 00:08:20 Speaker 4: No, you know, for for this story, let's just pretend I was and you know what I mean. 00:08:23 Speaker 3: There was like, yeah, I can only live in a reality where. 00:08:26 Speaker 4: A wrap d'urngo with you know, dollars all over it. No, it was just a regular kind of car. And uh but they but anyway, so that you have to make sure that you're picked. And then they say, you know, if you want because we'll give you. We'll give you a small prescription. Uh of, We'll give you some xanax, you know, a small little xanax. And I said, I don't think I'm I'm not super into the prescription thing, so I'm like, I don't really think i'll need that. 00:08:57 Speaker 2: But yeah, you go in and. 00:09:01 Speaker 4: I remember walking in and I remember being boy, there's a lot of people in this waiting room, like just like it's like he's clearly like it's like, you know, McDonald's. 00:09:10 Speaker 2: It's like a drive through. 00:09:11 Speaker 4: He's just gonna you know, lasers thirty people's eyes today within the course of like eight hours, which is pretty amazing. I mean, it's a pretty amazing thing. He's like curing people's eyesight. So but I went in and I don't remember too much of it. I just remember sitting in a room. They finally call me, and you go in and you lie in a chair and it's a very dark room. It's very cold, and you go in and you lie in a chair and he goes. All I remember is don't move your head. He's like they stressed it, do not move your head and just stare at the little red dot and they do one eyelid each and what they'll do first is and by the way, after I described this, you're definitely not getting laser because it's a. 00:09:56 Speaker 3: Two minutes ago. 00:09:58 Speaker 4: Yeah, they slice the layer of your eye and they peel it back, and then you have to stare into this red dot. And the red dot is very sharp, and then all of a sudden it gets super blurry, and then it sharpens again, very very like super sharp, and that's how you know you now have twenty fifteen vision whatever it is. And then they do the other eye and that's that. And so it's about a ten minute, ten to fifteen minute procedure. You're in and out. That's the shortest part of the procedure, really. 00:10:29 Speaker 3: And do you just have to hold still for ten minutes? I can't hold still just on my own for ten minutes. 00:10:35 Speaker 2: I know. But that's and that's how I am. I'm you know, I hyper and I like to move around. 00:10:40 Speaker 4: But for when you have the fear of God that you may go blind if you move a millimeter, you do not move. 00:10:48 Speaker 3: Wow, And then you're just ushered into this prize patrol van and taken it to resort or something. 00:10:55 Speaker 2: Yes, right exactly. 00:10:57 Speaker 3: Now has your vision deteriorated at all since in the last ten years? 00:11:01 Speaker 4: Oh no, not that. Not that I've been able to tell my visions great. 00:11:06 Speaker 3: I mean actually, now that we've been through this conversation that we've talked, you've talked me through this, I'm and I've been so concerned about a laser going in my eye. I remember, not more than six hours ago, a stranger was literally just sticking his fingers in my eyes and pulling my contacts off, which feels probably more dangerous. 00:11:26 Speaker 4: I would actually probably like that less, only because no one's touching your eye. No one's like and some people are like rough and then some people are very gentle, and you don't know what you're getting. And it almost seems like, couldn't you have just done that, oh easily, just ask me to I do it every day. 00:11:44 Speaker 2: Why why did he do it? 00:11:47 Speaker 3: I don't know, and I've you know, I guess I'm not. It was a little glimpse at who I am as a person that I didn't just say, oh, I'm happy to take the contacts out myself. And then he put contacts back in my eyes. Right, I've been in context since ninth grade. 00:12:01 Speaker 4: I know. Okay, wait, situation. He sat in the chair and he tipped your head back. He didn't even tip it back. How did he put him in? He said, look up, and then he like kind of grabbed him. He said, look up, look up, and. 00:12:17 Speaker 3: Then someding, he's putting contacts in my eyes. The whole I mean, the entire situation was very strange. And look, he mentioned that he knew at some point new Mark Summers. I don't know if we can even leave that detail in this because I don't want anyone to identify who this optometrist is. 00:12:39 Speaker 4: I don't think you're yeah, I don't think anyone is gonna discover based on what you've divuliged so far. You can google optometrists mark summers and you won't get much. 00:12:51 Speaker 3: So the whole process. You know, I've had a difficult you know, the year of I've had a difficult dental year. I'm now open up this box of the eyes. It's like, I need to find some medical professionals that I can just depend on. I can't have some guys sticking his fingers in my eyes. My old optometrist was perfectly fine, but it's an extra ten minutes away, so I make this is all on me. 00:13:17 Speaker 4: Yeah, this was a this was a mistake. This is a mistake. And look at you. You're not yourself. I can tell you. 00:13:25 Speaker 3: Just listen to the tone of my voice. 00:13:26 Speaker 4: Yeah, like when you signed on, I was like, there's something wrong, something shifted. Yeah, you don't want it to be uncomfortable. 00:13:34 Speaker 3: And now this situation. 00:13:36 Speaker 2: Also, you know what. 00:13:37 Speaker 4: Another thing about Sorry to interrupt, but another thing that I'm so glad I enough to deal with at an optometrist is watching people try on new glasses brutal. 00:13:50 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 00:13:52 Speaker 4: You know, like guys just who have no clue about wearing car heart shorts and you know, no fashion sense and they're trying on these glasses. And then occasionally, like I remember going to Lens Crafters and there'd be like someone try on glasses and they FaceTime like their wife there and it's just like this, Oh, it's so sad. It's a really sad, sad, sad, sad thing to witness. 00:14:17 Speaker 3: It's a very vulnerable place to be trying on glasses and you don't know how they're going to alter how your face looks. No, and if you don't have any sense of style to begin with, you're really just stumbling through the dark. And you might put on something that is frightening to other customers, yeah yeah, and then to face time, that's not going to help anything. No one can tell what something looks like over FaceTime and reach I agree, especially glasses, your face is a little distorted. It's a very close look at it. You have to bring you have to bring a partner to try on glasses. And then they should have little booths. Why not a dressing room, right, you try on like pants or something, you get a little booth. It's a very vulnerable. 00:14:59 Speaker 4: I got to the point where I wouldn't even I would just look and go that seems okay, and then I just walk out and if I have to return it, I have to return it. But I'll try it on in the privacy in my car, you know, And like, I just don't want to be that. I don't want to make anyone else feel what I feel when I watch people try on glasses, right. 00:15:16 Speaker 3: And just like looking in a mirror in public feels weird. It's just something like, oh, I'm looking at myself. I'm trying to figure it out, and everyone else is like, you look terrible. 00:15:29 Speaker 4: We all know you look terrible, right, Nothing you do is going to improve this. 00:15:35 Speaker 3: So it's just a sad situation for everybody. 00:15:38 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh God. 00:15:41 Speaker 3: Look Damien talking about uncomfortable situations and things that I don't want to deal with. You agreed to be on this podcast a little while ago, and I thought, I love Damien. Damien and I have known each other for years now. We've had delicious pizza together. Yeah, we're gonna have a comfortable time. We haven't seen each other since before the pandemic. It'll be a nice catch up. We'll move on and we'll continue to lead happy lives. So earlier today I was a little shaken up. Well, look, I've been shaken up a lot of times today, now that I'm thinking about it. This optometrist was kind of the I should have just gone to bed after the optometrists, But what are you going to do? It was noon. I got a little package in the mail. I got a little something that was not something I had ordered. It was not something my boyfriend had ordered. My mom had not sent cookies in the mail. This was something from It said care of Damien Fahey, but was addressed to me or was it the reverse. I don't know. I never heard care of works. 00:16:53 Speaker 4: I didn't either. I was hoping I is I had a fifty to fifty chance. You put one name here in the care of, and then you know one name on the other side. 00:17:02 Speaker 3: I don't know the pologies. 00:17:03 Speaker 2: Well, you are caring for it. You are like caring for it, I. 00:17:06 Speaker 3: Think, right, I guess I'm now the caretaker, the unwilling participant in this little little game. Anyway, you agreed to be on the podcast it's called I said, no gifts. You're familiar. I'm familiar enough with the show. There's obviously a clear directive up top. Can't miss it, even if your optometrist has gouged both your eyes out. You're not gonna be able to miss what's going on on this podcast. I said no gifts, so I'm going to pick it up now. It's you haven't opened it. It hasn't been opened. It's in kind of a bag. This is Born to be Fabulous, which feels like an assault. 00:17:48 Speaker 4: Wait are you serious? Wait? That's what it came in. 00:17:52 Speaker 3: It's hard to say. Nobody can say how it ended up in this bag. There are so many histories in my life and so many mysteries for the listener. That's kind of the idea of this podcast is mystery. 00:18:07 Speaker 4: I hope I'm watching you see this for the first time. 00:18:12 Speaker 2: I have a feeling i'm not. But that's okay too, Damien. 00:18:16 Speaker 3: I'm going to say there has only been to this date, I think one gift that I was aware of before the podcast. 00:18:24 Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, good. Whatever is in this bag? 00:18:28 Speaker 3: I don't know what's happening in here, and that's why I'm going to ask you, is this a gift for me? 00:18:34 Speaker 2: That is a gift for you? Yes? 00:18:36 Speaker 3: Should I open it here on the show? 00:18:38 Speaker 2: I believe you should. 00:18:44 Speaker 3: Okay, let me get in here, okay, shoe to shoe. Yeah, okay, so I'm pulling it out. There's a it's now in kind of a priority mail envelope. 00:19:01 Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit of a crude envelope. 00:19:04 Speaker 3: And yeah, we can now confirm it does say care of Bridger, not care of Damien. That would have that probably would have gotten lost in the mail. Okay, so I'm going to get in here. Let's see press firmly to seal. Where's my entry point? That's my question. 00:19:19 Speaker 4: With all that, there was a little bit of drama too about this because the delivery date was between today, the day we're recording this, and eight days from now, so I had an eight day span that this may not arrive. And I saw this, and I go, I don't care if this is late. We have to he needs this. 00:19:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, I cannot wait to see what's in here. I am let's see. I might have to just use my scissors, because look, I love the UPS. I support the ups in so many ways that make so many beautiful stamps. But I will say the Priority mail envelope sometimes TMES is a bit of a mystery as to how to open it. 00:20:02 Speaker 2: I agree, there's no ripped tear thing that you. 00:20:06 Speaker 3: I need a little tab. So I've cut it, and then it is tough, tough, it's leathery. You could make a jacket out of this. I'm gonna keep snipping. Maybe I'll just snip near the micy. 00:20:24 Speaker 2: Broy the gift. 00:20:28 Speaker 3: Just absolutely shred the gift. 00:20:31 Speaker 4: The gift cut it in half. No, you can't, just can't do that to this. 00:20:36 Speaker 3: Exit the zoom and go to bed. 00:20:38 Speaker 2: This is so quality material. 00:20:40 Speaker 3: Okay, here we go. I'm like, I caught a glimpse of it, but I. 00:20:44 Speaker 4: Don't I have no idea what this Okay, making sure that is empty now looking, Yes, oh my god, this is a beautiful sign. 00:21:02 Speaker 3: It's gorgeous. 00:21:03 Speaker 2: Yes, it's a little wood. 00:21:05 Speaker 3: Sign with a little piece of like this. 00:21:08 Speaker 2: This twill maybe I don't know. 00:21:11 Speaker 4: It's like a rope at a white person's wedding neck would go around the mason jar or something. 00:21:20 Speaker 3: Right. It says, so there's a picture of a cruise ship going through a beautiful tropical location, and then there's some words. It says, I have no cruise control. Dot dot dot dot four dots. 00:21:34 Speaker 2: There's four dots. 00:21:38 Speaker 3: I would notice that I couldn't ask for more. 00:21:41 Speaker 4: It's a lot of suspense buildings for what would be next. That's what it is. I have no cruise control. It's like the cruises book themselves. Yeah, this speaks to me on so many levels. This is I knew you would appreciate it. There are so few people in in my life who would truly appreciate that. And I'm like, this is perfect. 00:22:06 Speaker 3: I love nothing more than a piece of home decor that is just just the black hole of taste. Yes, and this to me is stunning. I love cruise culture. I love you know. This is you know, we've all seen live, laugh, love, We've seen it used in a million different It's dead on so many lives. I will say in two thousand and eleven, I made some friends they were getting married. I made them a homemade sign that said giggle, give Grow, which I feel like I should make my own. I should start an Etsy shop for that. That's good, Yeah, because I'm sure it was a shock to their system and God only knows where they keep it in their home. But leaving giving somebody something like that is kind of It's kind of sabotage because now suddenly they have this hideous piece of decor that what do you do with it? 00:23:06 Speaker 1: Right? 00:23:07 Speaker 3: This just recently? Where did you get this? Was it an Etsy purchase? 00:23:12 Speaker 2: No? This was on Amazon. Oh you're kidding. 00:23:15 Speaker 4: Yes, I googled cruise and it led me and I hit shopping and it led me to a few shirts which were just not right. And then I saw this, and I go, well, there it is, there it is, that's. 00:23:33 Speaker 2: What he needs. 00:23:35 Speaker 4: We share the same affinity for women who are pleased very simply the simple pleasures in life, like unlimited lobster, you know, and a magician. And there's something really admirable, admirable about that, you know, absolutely, And I wouldn't even say I would limit it to women. 00:23:59 Speaker 3: I would say there are couples, There are certainly gay men, you know. The lack of taste or let's not even say it's a lack of taste, a simple pleasure, the ability to just there it is. There's my I have no cruise control sign. Yep, it's almost enviable. 00:24:22 Speaker 4: That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm I wish I sort of possessed whatever that is, right, because I think too much about how I might be perceived. I don't even know if it's perceived. I just think too much. And these people are like, I know what I like. I like a big old ship with a bunch of strangers and screaming children. I like a little gift shop, you know, fruit, fresh fruit, wine, and I like karaoke. 00:24:54 Speaker 3: And there you go, perfectly nice things. 00:24:57 Speaker 2: It's the highlight of their year. 00:24:58 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I don't have a single highlight during the year. 00:25:02 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm with you. 00:25:04 Speaker 3: I mean probably. I mean these are things I need to get into a therapy, and I frequently do. I never have anything to look forward to. It gets harder with every passing day. I'm not just totally because I'm overthinking every decision. How am I going to enjoy it? I have laser accuracy at just destroying the enjoyment of anything for myself. 00:25:29 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, same as me. 00:25:32 Speaker 4: I can experience something absolutely wonderful, like objectively great, and I'll feel good for about five minutes, and then the thoughts will creep in as to how this could sabotage my entire life, and I'll be homeless under a bridge. I'm not being funny. This is how I think. 00:25:48 Speaker 3: Well, I'm laughing because this is exactly how I feel. 00:25:51 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is. 00:25:52 Speaker 4: Great now, but this is going to lead to me on the street, no job completely any less. 00:26:01 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, the catastrophe cycle in my brain is. I mean, I'm probably burning four thousand calories a day just thinking how something connect to catastrophe. Yes, I mean I started a new job maybe a month and a half ago, and it's been going well. But every time someone asks me how it's going to I say, oh, it's great, but I'm just waiting to see what the bad part of it is. 00:26:22 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, yep. 00:26:24 Speaker 3: Which look, I mean this is the and this is the even more dangerous thing about this is I'm able to recognize this about my thought patterns, the way I behave, and yet I do nothing to correct it. I mean, I am in therapy, but it's you know, it's like, uh, I'm trapped. I feel truly trapped by some sort of demon in my brain. 00:26:49 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:26:50 Speaker 4: Well, we're also both writers, and we work in Hollywood, and it's a business full of mentally ill people. Else, let's be honest, it's just literally a fact unstable and very mentally ill celebrities, people behind the camera. 00:27:07 Speaker 2: You know, I would love I. 00:27:08 Speaker 3: Mean I still fantasize I think, oh, what if I just and then this just speaks to how dumb I am. I'm like, oh, why don't I open up bakery? And it's because that's an extremely difficult job that requires a talent and skills. That's not just something. 00:27:25 Speaker 2: You pop into right right, right. 00:27:28 Speaker 3: But back to cruises. You've really nailed it here, because probably a month ago I was on Etsy looking for a Carnival cruise shirt. I bought one, a vintage Carnival cruise shirt. I find beautiful. 00:27:47 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 00:27:48 Speaker 3: Anytime I wear it, I'm extremely conflicted because it's not vintage enough to just look like, oh, that's a vintage shirt, right, it's probably it was probably made in somewhere nineteen ninety four to nineteen nine. Ok So it almost just looks like I'm a cruiser and I don't know how to operate in the world, thinking that someone might think I have the cruise bug. 00:28:14 Speaker 2: I understand that is the shirt nearby? 00:28:16 Speaker 3: Or no, oh no, it's uh, okay, that's fine. I wish it were. Maybe I'll have to shire. I think it's a beautiful Whoever at Carnival was behind this design really went for it. It's fun, it's splashy. It I think it sums up the carnival experience. I've never been on a carnival cruise, but I imagine do you remember the Kathy Lee commercials. Yeah, it really captures that energy. I think it's like kind of an aquamarine. It's got maybe a little cartoon crab on the beach. 00:28:50 Speaker 4: It's great, that's great, But I understand I understand your concern. 00:28:56 Speaker 2: I get that. 00:28:57 Speaker 4: Yeah, you want people to know that you're sort of not poking fun, but just sort of sending up the cruise culture. 00:29:05 Speaker 3: A little bit, right, And there's you know, look, cruises are not for me for a variety of reasons. 00:29:11 Speaker 2: Say, I'll never go on. 00:29:13 Speaker 3: On I'm not getting on a cruise ship. I know there's plenty to enjoy there, but for me, first of all, I get seasick. 00:29:22 Speaker 2: Yeah that's really important to know. 00:29:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, second of all, I like to be in control of what I'm going to be eating when I travel somewhere. I'm going to do months of research finding out what I'll be eating on a cruise. You have to really let go and suddenly it's whatever cruise food you're eating, which is. 00:29:42 Speaker 2: Whatever they pushed onto the boat. 00:29:44 Speaker 4: Yeah, just absolutely shoved off a crane to the ship, a palette full of you know, crab claws or I don't know. Also, everything is so decadent. It's hard probably to eat healthy on that boat. And you're on that boat for a week and you're sitting flyn and lobster and you know, like, oh my god, it's in prime rib. And now after COVID, it's like, oh my god. 00:30:13 Speaker 3: I can't imagine getting on any outside. I mean, obviously a plane you just kind of have no option at we've kind of confirmed that they're safe. But the idea, I mean, there were quarantines on cruises before COVID. 00:30:25 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh it was a mess before. Yeah. 00:30:28 Speaker 3: Right, it's the scariest thing in the world. I can't imagine. But all that aside, if you want to go on a cruise, listener, I support you. 00:30:35 Speaker 4: One hundred percent. I'm actually jealous that right that you can enjoy it, that. 00:30:39 Speaker 2: You could enjoy it. I couldn't. 00:30:40 Speaker 4: People would First of all, the people I'd be people just like irritate me, like the right things they do. And I know I'm crazy for the being irritated by the things I'm irritated by. It's me, it's not them. They're just living their lives. But I'm like, it'll drive me crazy. 00:30:57 Speaker 3: So yeah, right, I need to be a little I just need to be in control of my destiny and be able to know that I can. I can be around people when I want to be, but then I can be doing my own thing. And now I know that people are probably saying, but the excursions, but the all of the you know, do it on the cruise. I'm not doing it. 00:31:19 Speaker 4: I also remember why I'm suddenly defending my inability to go on a cruise to the wider audience. That's true too, I do feel well, it's because you're having the same thought as me, which is, oh my god, what if someone listening to my podcast, a dedicated listener loves cruises and have I've I just suddenly turned on my on myself and my podcast and will never listen again. And then you know, that's one less shirt that you can sell. Were what you were saying before, or lunchbox or whatever you got. 00:31:54 Speaker 3: Going on lunchbox is galore. 00:31:56 Speaker 2: No, I hear what you're saying. They do. 00:31:58 Speaker 4: Let you stop off, because that's sort of the thing when I say I don't want to be on a cruise for a week on a boat, like and they go, well, the ship is huge, and they give oh and by the way you get off, you know, you get to go into town and and I'm like, but then my you know, my eyes on my watch the whole time. 00:32:16 Speaker 2: How long do we have? And then the second you get off the ship. 00:32:20 Speaker 4: I've seen in Bermuda people exit a cruise ship and it's like locals selling different wares see you as like, you know, money like that. They could run there going up to you. Would you like a necklace? 00:32:35 Speaker 2: How about this? How about that? 00:32:36 Speaker 4: So you're just like, yeah, you're just a I'd rather sort of blend in a little bit more too, or have a more authentic experience, you know, instead of being dropped off by like, you know, senior frogs or wherever they drop you off. It's like, I want to like oceanside mall, yeah, exactly. 00:32:53 Speaker 3: Yeah. I just feel like vacation money can be better spent on you pick a single location, you go there, you enjoy everything that location has to offer, and then you go home, rather than this cruise thing where it's like, I don't know, I'm not on board with it. Look, I'm not a listener. Now, the more I think about this, I think cruises are there's just better ways to spend money. 00:33:21 Speaker 4: I'm surprised they're even we're even in sort of inventive or thought of, Like you know that one person was like, you know what people might like is if we fill the ship with five thousand people and they all ate dinner at the same time, and like, we got one magician, you know, who isn't good enough to perform on land, We'll put him on a boat. 00:33:46 Speaker 2: I just don't get it. 00:33:47 Speaker 3: What do you like to do for vacation? 00:33:50 Speaker 4: I do like going on vacation. I actually need one right now. But what all I mean? Oh, I don't want to sound See this is going to make me sound very ah well, like a dick. 00:34:03 Speaker 1: You know. 00:34:04 Speaker 4: I like it. I like going to a nice you know, warm climate resort, a nice you know, four star. 00:34:16 Speaker 3: Okay, here we go, listener, we're getting a little peek into the life of Damien. 00:34:22 Speaker 4: Mm hmm. I need a nice, crisp white sheets, you know, a nice pool area. 00:34:29 Speaker 2: No children. I don't want tony children. 00:34:31 Speaker 4: At the pool area. I need a certain kind of music playing at the pool, you know, like a relaxing I don't like people screaming in the pool. I don't want like a lot of like rough housing, like no one under thirty would be good. 00:34:49 Speaker 3: That sounds like a perfectly nice vacation. 00:34:52 Speaker 4: And then I do a bunch of research and I found a good restaurant in the in the place, and then the town. And then you go to the nice restaurant, You have a nice experience, have I meal, drink some wine, have a few cocktails, go back to the room, and then that's kind of it. 00:35:05 Speaker 3: You're someone I know you go to Palm Springs pretty frequently. 00:35:09 Speaker 2: That's sort of what I'm Yeah, that's a bulls eye for me. 00:35:13 Speaker 3: I love a trip to Palm Springs, and I think it may be actually the closest to a cruise that I will do, because I think the thing that appeals to cruisers is they don't have to make a lot of choices. Yeah, Palm Springs, God bless. I love it. A lot of bad food, a huge amount of restaurants that are probably something that you wouldn't eat at the bottom of a cruise ship. But there are some good restaurants, and if you can figure out those ones, they become your only option. So you don't have to decide about that. It's extremely quiet there. Palm Springs is a pretty quiet town. 00:35:53 Speaker 2: I like quiet, yeah, right. 00:35:56 Speaker 3: I feel like, I mean, everyone has something else they want want to get out of their pool experience, but for me, I need it to be relatively quiet. I would like to be able to focus on a book for at least part of the time. Yeah, and then I don't want to be splashed. No, I don't want to, you know, I just want a nice quiet, you know, dip and children. I don't have children, will not be having children. So I feel like that deliberate choice. I want to be in a space where I can enjoy that choice. 00:36:32 Speaker 4: I'm the exact same way. Yes, I want to sort of enjoy the choice not to have a child. 00:36:40 Speaker 3: Right. But again, if you have a kid, of course you want to have fun with them at the pool, but they're not my kid. I don't want to have fun with your kid at the pool. 00:36:47 Speaker 2: No, I don't. And I like kids. I've you know, I always think. 00:36:51 Speaker 4: Oh, I don't like kids, but I've every time I kind of am around a kid, for I'm like, there's things where I'm like, oh, I like this kid, you know, I think I do like kids, but I don't want them on my vacation. And also that's another thing about cruise ships is it's all children, you. 00:37:10 Speaker 3: Know, families and children galore. 00:37:13 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I can't do it. 00:37:15 Speaker 4: I was at the avalon once in Palm Springs and there was and now I call ahead to ask if there will be a bachelor party, bachelorette party. 00:37:28 Speaker 2: So smart again. 00:37:29 Speaker 4: Yeah, there was a wedding that weekend and it was and I'm from Boston. I'm from Massachusetts, an hour outside of Boston, but it was all people from It was all girls from Boston, and they were doing the you know by the pool and then the music's like kind of tranquil fun, you know, remixing reggae stuff, which is perfect. I walk out in the morning like this is going to be just like a day of relaxing, and then they all show up at the same time and they're like, I'm not even kidding. Something happened with to Tom Brady in the news that that that day or the day before, and that's all they were talking about. And they were and they're doing this thing where they're talking people in the pool are yelling to people on on on and they're yelling and talking and laughing, and then of course the more drunk they get, the ladder they get. 00:38:19 Speaker 2: Yeah, it kind of ruined my whole experience. 00:38:22 Speaker 3: In a public pool. There should be no liquid to land communication, thank you. I think that that is a very clear rule. If you're in the pool, talk to people in the pool, right, if you're on land, talk to people on land. 00:38:36 Speaker 2: I agree. 00:38:37 Speaker 3: No one should be caught in the cross spire of a screaming wedding goer and their Tom Brady friend. 00:38:45 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. 00:38:47 Speaker 3: I think that that's just a clear rule. But I people, you know, people. 00:38:50 Speaker 4: See this is the thing when I'm talking about being irritated that the thing you just said seems like the norm to me, seems like. 00:38:59 Speaker 2: A respectful. 00:39:03 Speaker 4: Way of being, and people don't even consider that, And I'm like, what is is it? Me? 00:39:12 Speaker 3: Sometimes I feel like I've was dropped on the wrong planet. Yeah, just placed in an environment where I cannot thrive because there are so many obnoxious loud idiots. Well, I'm so thrilled to have this cruise control sign. I mean, I have so many places I can place this, and I'm now apparently collecting cruise memorabilia. I now two different pieces of cruise merch. What will be next? 00:39:47 Speaker 2: I don't know. 00:39:51 Speaker 4: I asked you a question, Yeah, I don't know. God, that felt very acute, like as if like, what will be next? What else is going to show up at my door? Well, it was those four dots that put me in kind of this mood where I just don't know what's going on anymore. It's just that I didn't even. 00:40:10 Speaker 2: Catch that up. 00:40:11 Speaker 4: Yeah, the four dots. I've never seen four dots before. 00:40:16 Speaker 3: Of course, not that's not correct. 00:40:18 Speaker 4: Like two. I feel like I've seen two and that's not I think two is three, of course is the number. Yes, the ellipsi is sort of the yeah there's a term, you know, it's right formalized. Yeah, the four is so dot dot dot dot. So it's almost like it wants to throw you a little bit or keep you off balanced, the extra dot for what's coming. And in this case, I think it like it paid off. It was worth it. 00:40:49 Speaker 3: Yeah, I love a four dot. I also really appreciate a two dot. No one Ever, it really is kind of a deranged looking use of punctuation. You're like, this is if this wasn't a mistake. This person. Their view of the world is truly out of control and what are It's not quite enough for suspense or mystery, but it's not enough to just shut down the sentence. It's like, how is this supposed to be read? 00:41:20 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a timid sort of ellipses. I also think for me, like when I see two exclamation points, one or three seems right to me, Like two feels. 00:41:33 Speaker 2: Weird to me. 00:41:34 Speaker 4: I don't know if that's if I'm maybe I'm just alone on that, but I'm like two, but the other one there's one. 00:41:39 Speaker 2: You need three, like the rule rule of three. 00:41:42 Speaker 4: I don't know if it's like a. 00:41:43 Speaker 3: I feel like I actually will. I'm going to fight back. I never used two, but three almost feel three exclamation points almost feels two thought out or it feels like going on. I feel like something's on sale. I'm picturing like a grocery store sign. 00:42:05 Speaker 4: Under new management right under If you see a sign that is under new management, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. 00:42:13 Speaker 2: There is no good can come of that. That sounds like a warning. 00:42:17 Speaker 4: Actually, like, look these people who took over this this dry cleaners, they're crazy at the fun we can't say don't come in here, but just this is the you gotta look into. 00:42:31 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, under new management to me has never meant anything good. Either means the restaurant was bad and now it's going to be someone has decided to take over a bad restaurant, which is a bad move. Yes, or it was good and is now going to not be the good thing you thought it was going to be. 00:42:50 Speaker 4: Yeah, just use the money for that you spent on the undernew management sign to buy a new sign for the restaurant, pick a new name. 00:42:58 Speaker 2: Yeah. It's also like. 00:43:02 Speaker 4: It's a business transaction, you know, like it changed hands. It's like a it's a business thing. So it's like you Brett the News would ever like or bread never get go on the show and be like, by the way, guys, I have a new accountant, you know, like like. 00:43:18 Speaker 2: It's like it's like managerial. 00:43:20 Speaker 4: It's like it's like business, Like, why why are we why are there balloons on this on this vinyl sign? Who's excited about It's like yeah, new dishes, new, you know, new, new, new desserts, you know, new entrees, you know. Whatever, salad it's chicken Southwest Baja salad, that's that brings people in, right, But like a management, it's. 00:43:44 Speaker 3: Like management just means they're we're problems galore. Yes, right, and so it's like, well, there's almost certainly haven't solved all of those problems. This business is bad. 00:43:57 Speaker 4: It's like, look, I know I had a drug problem in the past, but I've done some work. Please let me stay at your house for a week, you know, like like I know I used to steal. 00:44:12 Speaker 2: I don't steal anymore. Yeah, were you? 00:44:16 Speaker 3: Did you follow the Cugurt drama in Los Felis No. Cugurt is the worst name business of all time. It was kind of a vaguely Mediterranean restaurant on Hillhurst Avenue was spelled cug u rt, apparently a combination of the words cucumber and yogurt. Kind of became famous for how terrible that name was. The food was not good. It was probably I would describe it. 00:44:46 Speaker 4: Maybe as the food was dot dot dog not good. 00:44:53 Speaker 3: The owner, she brought an uneasy energy to every dining experience. But you know, Cugert obviously was struggling. They didn't they didn't know what they were doing. They tried to switch the business to a new business I think they tried to rename it Mel's, but they had this giant neon sign that said Cugert Green sign. They just instead of replacing Cugert taking the sign down, they just threw one of those kind of fabric signs over it that said Mels. They did nothing else to change the restaurant, the exact same restaurant, but anytime the wind blew, the sign would blow up and Kugert would be revealed. I can uh, to no one's surprise, Kugurt and Mels have gone out of business. It's now a hot chicken restaurant. It's called like. 00:45:46 Speaker 4: Hot Chicks Hot Chicks, which is another terrible It's very bad. 00:45:52 Speaker 3: There's a chance that the Kugurt people are running Hot Chicks. I can't say that sure, but they at least had the sense to finally tear down Cugert. I wonder where those letters ended up. I would love to own the Kugert letters. It's a hard restaurant owning seems tough, but I feel like naming a business run Kugert pasted a few people before you lay down the money for the sign. 00:46:18 Speaker 2: I agree, you can do better than Kugert Damien. 00:46:21 Speaker 3: I think it's time to play a game. Do you want to play a game called Gift or a Curse or a game called Gift Master. 00:46:28 Speaker 4: Let's do Gift Master, because I think i've heard gift and a Curse before. 00:46:31 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, we're gonna play Gift Master. I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:46:37 Speaker 2: Let's go seven. 00:46:38 Speaker 3: Okay, I have to do a little bit of calculating. 00:46:41 Speaker 2: That's fine. 00:46:42 Speaker 3: While i'm doing this. You've got the mic. You can recommend something, you can promote something, whatever you want. I'll be right back. 00:46:49 Speaker 4: Oh god, i'd have to be left alone here. Okay, I can see him counting. It's just a number between one and ten. What could he possibly be doing? Simple math? That's fine. Yeah, shirts available, cups, and there may be sucks available as well on the website. 00:47:14 Speaker 3: So I should start having the guests promote my thing. 00:47:19 Speaker 2: That's right. 00:47:20 Speaker 3: That's not a bad idea. 00:47:21 Speaker 2: That's how I feel. 00:47:22 Speaker 4: Honestly, I was gonna promote on me, but I'm like, I just feel like it'd be a bick thing to do to promote my ownself. I'm like, you know what, buy a nice shirt. 00:47:30 Speaker 3: Damien's very funny. Look at Damian. He does. He kind of does it all. He's a writer, he's a DJ, he plays the drums. 00:47:40 Speaker 4: This is someone with multiple skills and I'm struggling with as he's just roasted me basic math. This is how the game works, Demian. We'll see who comes out on top. Here. 00:47:51 Speaker 3: I'm gonna name three items, three potential gifts, and I'm gonna name three celebrities, three famous people. You're gonna tell me which person you would give which gift and why does that make sense? Okay? The gifts you'll be giving today are a paintball gun. Okay, so that's kind of your you know, a gun that shoots balls of paint. 00:48:13 Speaker 4: Sure. 00:48:13 Speaker 3: Number two true love's first kiss. So that's more of an experience. This person's going to, uh, you know, experience a true love's first kiss. 00:48:26 Speaker 2: Is that? 00:48:27 Speaker 3: How is that? 00:48:27 Speaker 4: Yeah? 00:48:28 Speaker 3: I think that's the phrase. And then finally another more experience thing, tickets to the rodeo. So those will be as many tickets as you want. 00:48:38 Speaker 4: And this is just true love's first kiss is in a kiss. It's just a kiss, the first kiss of their life where they actually feel true love. True love is that what it is? 00:48:47 Speaker 3: Right? Right? And you're going to be giving them to the following people. Number one, she's you know, this person's kind of up and coming. She's made a real splash. Sarah Snook. She plays do you watch Succession? 00:49:02 Speaker 2: Oh? 00:49:02 Speaker 3: Yes, Sarah Snook is the Australian actor. I mean, I'm amazed when someone with another accent is able to do an American accent. Sarah plays Shiv right stunning actor. Okay, so got that. Number two, we've got the weekend musician, the weekend not the Yes. And finally we have oh a legend, Ray Lioda. Oh, actor Ray Lioda, most recently seen unfortunately seen in the Sopranos movie which oh oh he's in Chantis commercials. 00:49:43 Speaker 4: He is Enchantics commercials. Yeah, but no, he is in the new Sopranos movie that I haven't seen. 00:49:48 Speaker 3: The Sopranos movie I've only seen part of. And that's kind of where I'm going to end. 00:49:56 Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, I'm gonna go. This is pretty easy. I think for interesting Sarah Snook gets I think true love's first kiss. 00:50:06 Speaker 2: Oh, I think she deserves that over Raleiota in the Weekend. 00:50:14 Speaker 4: I think, well. 00:50:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope. I mean if she Sarah if you haven't already received true love's first kiss. Here we are, we're manifest, We're we're. 00:50:25 Speaker 2: Giving it to you. Yes, And I don't know. 00:50:27 Speaker 4: I don't even know if I have an explanation for that. It's just a feeling that she gets that. 00:50:33 Speaker 3: She's someone who seems to be deserving of love. Yes, she's beautiful, she's talented, she's Australian. 00:50:41 Speaker 2: Yes, she's got it all. 00:50:44 Speaker 3: She's got it all. 00:50:45 Speaker 4: Now the weekend, I think I'm going to give him the paintball gun. 00:50:52 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:50:53 Speaker 2: Now, I don't know why. 00:50:55 Speaker 4: Again, I don't really have an explanation for this. I just know it feels right to me. It seems like he would have a lot of fun with a paintball gun. He seems like he's a little mischievous. Also, he takes himself a little seriously. I think he maybe needs to like let loose. I feel like a paintball gun would be good because it'll sort of get him out of his shell. 00:51:17 Speaker 2: It'll loosen him up a little bit, you. 00:51:18 Speaker 3: Know, right, I can, and I can kind of weirdly picture him holding and shooting a paintball gun. I'm kind of picturing I feel like he has a music video in Las Vegas where's kind of wandering around. I can my mind can instantly drop in a paintball gun and he's having the time of his life exactly, probably on some sort of psychedelic. 00:51:39 Speaker 4: Yes, and now, I mean a rodeo. Perfect for Rayleiota. 00:51:45 Speaker 3: I think you'd have a blast. I think it's like this is he is kind of an East Coast guy, and it doesn't seem like the sort of thing that he's probably even had the opportunity to experience. 00:51:56 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think he'd get the whole crowd going, few beers, let loose, you know, get maybe you know, you do some some lines from good Fellows or something for some fans, I don't know. It feels like you could get into a rodeo. Rodeo tickets obviously are a perfect radio to choice. I think so the rugged, the rugged like him. Paintball is silly and weird, like the weekend, and a nice beautiful kiss where you feel true love's embrace. I think, Oh, that just feels so aligned with everything Sarah snook is. 00:52:26 Speaker 3: She's just a phenomenal actor. Yeah, Sarah, go off, find your love if you haven't already. My heart goes out to you, Damien. This is first of all, excellently played. 00:52:39 Speaker 2: Oh thank you. I'm so glad it worked out. 00:52:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, I am too, because I could easily have cut this podcast short. And you know, we just delete the audio. Yes, we have, you know, scrolls and scrolls of past guests who we've recorded with, and I've just sent the audio to the trash. 00:52:58 Speaker 2: Wow. Really do I know some of these people? 00:53:02 Speaker 3: Just hit IMDb, type in a letter and you'll find one of the guests that I've deleted the audio to celebrities, color, they don't bring it right, they don't bring it. People surprise you in the worst ways. 00:53:14 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:53:15 Speaker 3: This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I said no emails. People write into I said. 00:53:19 Speaker 2: No one, all right at. 00:53:22 Speaker 3: Gmail dot com. These people are desperate for answers. These people need help. They you know, everybody needs a little help navigating socially through gift situations. Whatever. Life is complicated and difficult, and so people reach out to me. They reach out to the guest as well, you are going to help me. I'm not even going to ask. This is this is the first email. This is Hybridger and wonderful guests so that's a nice little compliment for you. My dad turns fifty in December and I don't know what to get him. He invited all of his friends to a cam to celebrate, but I can't be there since I'm in college three hours away. He loves live music, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and the Wizard's basketball team. Is that Washington feel like? 00:54:10 Speaker 2: I think so? I think so. Yeah. 00:54:13 Speaker 3: He's also a very amateur drummer. Oh interesting little slight there, dig at dad and a workaholic. He doesn't drink or cook, and isn't into cars, home improvement, or outdoorsy stuff. So a lot of the typical dad gifts don't fit well. Well, it sounds like this person has a very narrow idea of what a dad can be. Anyway, we don't have the best relationship, but it's a but it's been a stressful few months for my family and I want to show him I care about him. Any ideas for a thoughtful gift, I'm planning to spend fifty to one hundred dollars. Thanks so much, love the podcast, Thank you, Kelsey. 00:54:51 Speaker 4: Kelsey, we got to get that budget off. Your dad's turning fifty. 00:54:54 Speaker 3: It's not a dollar a year. Kelsey. No, Well, look she is in college. 00:55:01 Speaker 2: Oh okay, she. 00:55:03 Speaker 3: May not have you know, she may be working down at the cu Doma or whatever limited budget. I can absolutely and she also reading between the lines, she hates this person. 00:55:16 Speaker 4: Yeah, amateur drummer, very very amateur. He's going to a concert. She doesn't really know what concert. 00:55:24 Speaker 2: He's going to. 00:55:25 Speaker 3: If we don't get the band. 00:55:26 Speaker 2: Yeah, she barely knows her father. 00:55:28 Speaker 4: I think I think it's probably best if he gets if she just kind of slowly sort of parts from the man who gave her life. 00:55:39 Speaker 2: He's not for you. He probably doesn't like her, you know. 00:55:44 Speaker 3: So, Kelsey, you're an absentee daughter in almost every respect. You know that your dad likes peanut butter cups and live music, but have not even bothered to inquire as to what sort of music he likes to listen to, so, you know, and then you send it into two strangers who don't know your dad. Now we've removed there's so many layers between us and your father. I mean, it would be a miracle for us to land on a you know, an item between the price of fifty and one hundred dollars. I don't know, an expensive flashlight. 00:56:20 Speaker 4: I don't just get maybe just I don't know. I'm trying to think something with the drumming, But like anything between fifty one hundred dollars isn't going to be a great You can't even but really by a symbol for that much Like it's like, right, I'm really stumped here, and I have more of an issue. I don't think she deserves our advice. To be quite honest, this if you're writing in a podcast asking people you don't know what you should get your dad for his fiftieth birthday. 00:56:52 Speaker 3: Fifty years, fifty years on this planet. Look, this is what I'm going to say, Kelsey. You've got fifty to one hundred. That's enough for a round trip bus ticket. You go home, pack up your things, just clear out the house, hopefully while dad's at a concert. This is going to require a little getting to know dad. But find out his schedule next time he's out for the night with the boys, he's off at you know he's going to see. 00:57:24 Speaker 4: Uh, you can't say van Halen, right. 00:57:26 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna say van Halen. That no longer an option. 00:57:29 Speaker 4: He's at whatever version of Motley Crue. 00:57:34 Speaker 3: Dad is you know, in the pit at Moshley Moshley Crue. That's you know right, this is my daughter Mashley Crue, Motley Crue. 00:57:44 Speaker 4: If he's fifty in a drummer, he's probably into classic rock. So let's say he's at a Doobie Brothers concert. 00:57:49 Speaker 3: You know right, he's at the Eddie Money show. Wait for him, Dad to be out of the house, Wait for him to be long gone. You get on the bus, you head to Okay, we don't know even know where you live, somewhere and within the vicinity of the Washington Wizards. Get your boxes, get out, get out, and leave dad with whatever, you know, the handful of positive memories he has about your relationship. 00:58:16 Speaker 4: If there's even that. And I also think that she should maybe when she believes her room, move Dad's drums up from the cold and put them in your room. Set them up for the man, you know, bring the posters up, the Playboy centerfolds. Tack him on the wall. You know. Let dad, you know, he's had his eye on your room for years. 00:58:44 Speaker 2: You've been going. 00:58:46 Speaker 4: When will this person who doesn't understand me, I don't understand her. What is she still doing in my house. She's in college. Legally I can kick her out. 00:58:54 Speaker 2: I don't want to go. 00:58:55 Speaker 4: That far, but I want that room for my drums. 00:58:59 Speaker 3: It's perfect. This has actually come around. I'm glad we spent some time we got to know Kelsey. We used to scattered clues that she gave us, and we have solved not only a gift situation, but I would say a family problem. 00:59:17 Speaker 4: Yeah, that probably wasn't talked about. It sounds like there wasn't a lot of addressing the fact that no one cares for anyone else in this family. 00:59:25 Speaker 3: They's a lot of quiet dinners, Oh, a lot. 00:59:29 Speaker 4: Of Yeah, just the sound of cutlery on porcelain, fork scraping, looking for that last morsel of roast beef, Yes, scraping, and then you know it's good, right, you know, just sort of. That's the only thing that's discussed was the quality of the experience. 00:59:49 Speaker 2: Kelsey. 00:59:50 Speaker 3: I'm so glad that we've you know, we've released you and your father, and I guess ultimately it was good. You wrote into the podcast you wouldn't you know? No one was going to be to give you this advice, but us. 01:00:02 Speaker 4: This is honestly, this is honest advice. I mean, if you called in, you know, you wrote into a you know, another podcast, a lesser podcast, a lesser podcast, they probably would have. 01:00:12 Speaker 2: Been, well you could. 01:00:13 Speaker 4: The Apple has a new uh you know, watch and there's a new They released ten new bands and there's rubber ones and the one's leather and that might be nice for old We said, look, there's clearly, you know, a crack in the foundation. It's splintered over years. You don't know who your father is. You bare, You're lucky, you know. Yeah, I don't want to keep going on, but yeah, this is what I feel like. 01:00:39 Speaker 2: We did a good thing. 01:00:40 Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so. I feel like a weight has been lifted for people tonight. 01:00:44 Speaker 2: I feel better now, right, don't you feel less stressed now that. 01:00:48 Speaker 3: You Well, I'll say I felt horrible, you know after that letter. I was in it. I was in a just a cloud of darkness. Yeah, absolutely missed that I could not see through. And now it's parted, and I'm you know, I'll be able to wake up tomorrow and move. 01:01:07 Speaker 4: On with my life knowing we did something good. 01:01:10 Speaker 3: Right right, Yeah, Damien, I have my cruise control sign. I want to say it out loud again, just for one final I have no cruise control. It's like the cruises book themselves was that. I feel like that was the right amount of time. 01:01:31 Speaker 2: I think. So. 01:01:33 Speaker 4: I also think the way you said it, it's like, I think that's your mantra. 01:01:38 Speaker 3: Absolutely this is going wrong. 01:01:41 Speaker 4: Just you stop and you take a deep breath and you go. 01:01:46 Speaker 2: I have no cruise control. The cruises book themselves. 01:01:48 Speaker 4: I have no cruise control the cruises book. It's sort of like you're you know, you're soreety now. 01:01:56 Speaker 3: This now that I'm saying this, I mean, I'm seeing this. It does seem just like someone who has is probably three hundred thousand dollars in debt. They're explaining to whoever, like the guy who is from collections has come to take their car and they're screaming this it's out of my control, Damien. I've had such a wonderful time. It's so nice seeing you. 01:02:17 Speaker 2: It was great seeing you. 01:02:18 Speaker 3: And now I have a beautiful piece of home decor that hopefully you'll see at some point hanging proudly in my house. 01:02:25 Speaker 2: I hope. 01:02:26 Speaker 3: So listener, look, go book that cruise that you're so mad at me about that you're so mad at Damian about you need to unwind on a cruise. Yeah, the podcast is now officially over. Take care, Bridger, take care. Thank you so much, Damien. 01:02:45 Speaker 4: I'm gonna have the last word here. The podcast is over. The podcast is over. We're drawing to a close, and we just wanted to say goodbye. Right, the podcast is over and goodbye. 01:03:03 Speaker 3: I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend Annalisa Nelson, and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me. And why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do, considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to midrool dot com slash adsvit. 01:03:48 Speaker 1: Did you hear Funa Man myself perfectly clear, but you're a guest to Merthal, it come to me empty and I said no guest, your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?