1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: We need to give ourselves permission to cry, give ourselves 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: permission to take a time out and not feel guilt 3 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,400 Speaker 1: or like we shouldn't be giving ourselves that space. 4 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 2: Hey, Hurdler's Emily ABOUDI here bringing you another installment of 5 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:33,559 Speaker 2: Hurdle Moment from Hurdle. For this week's episode, I Am 6 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 2: Chatting the Akia read about overcoming fear and confronting pain. 7 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 2: Akia is a mental health activist, and she in today's episode, 8 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 2: shares her own story about being diagnosed with depression and 9 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:53,239 Speaker 2: generalized anxiety disorder in twenty sixteen. In today's episode, she 10 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 2: tells me all about her struggle, about what she learned 11 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 2: from her diagnosis and the tools and tricks she used 12 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 2: to cope with anxiety, depression, and stress. Before we get 13 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 2: into today's episode, I do want to wish you a happy, 14 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 2: happy Thanksgiving from me and mine to you and yours. 15 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 2: I know that things are a bit different this year, 16 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 2: but there is plenty for us to be grateful for, 17 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 2: plenty for us to be thankful for. And please, however 18 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 2: you are celebrating this week, stay safe. 19 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 3: Be careful, and stay kind. As always. Reach out to 20 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:31,919 Speaker 3: me over on social media. 21 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 2: Tag the show as you are listening at Hurdle Podcast 22 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 2: and at Emily a Body And if you have a 23 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 2: hurdle moment of your own to share, or you just 24 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 2: want to say hi, feel free to reach out to 25 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 2: me over email. It's Emily at hurdle dot us. And 26 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 2: with that, oh, let's get to hurdling. 27 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 4: Today. 28 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 2: I am sitting down with Akiya Read. She is a 29 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 2: mental health activist and an author. How are you doing today? 30 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 4: I am doing great. How are you? And thank you 31 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 4: for having me? 32 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 2: Of course I'm doing pretty well. You know, it's a 33 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 2: sunny day out. I think we're all making this transition 34 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 2: into the cooler months. But nothing a few layers and 35 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 2: a nice cup of coffee can't fix, if you know 36 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 2: what I mean. 37 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 4: Absolutely. Yeah. 38 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 1: So I'm in the Midwest here in Ohio, and the 39 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 1: last few weeks we were blessed with such beautiful colors 40 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 1: of leaves turning in. Now because of all of the 41 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 1: wind on Sunday, we see a lot of empty trees. 42 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,239 Speaker 3: A lot of empty trees. All the winds blown the 43 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 3: leaves away. 44 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, so they're now in piles. So which is fun, 45 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: you know if you like to go jump in the leaves. 46 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 2: So today, what we're chatting about, we are chatting about 47 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 2: overcoming fear and confronting pain. I mean, there are so 48 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 2: many things that happen in our day to day that. 49 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 3: Make us us scared right, and. 50 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 2: These things they feel or they can make everyday tasks 51 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 2: feel like everest. So I'd love before we hop into 52 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 2: this topic, before we dive right in, for you to 53 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 2: give me a little bit of info, tell the hurdlers 54 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 2: about your background and how you got into talking on 55 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 2: these topics. 56 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: Well, wow, that, let's see, let's try to condense that. 57 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: I actually, four years ago was diagnosed with generalized anxiety 58 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: and depression, also an eating disorder after a emotional breakdown. 59 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: Had gone through a lot of stuff in my past, 60 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: you know, my childhood. I'm a daughter of a preacher, 61 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: so there's just been a lot of things that had 62 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: happened in my childhood and I kind of suppressed all 63 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: of it. And I often like to say that if 64 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: you don't deal with life, life finds a way of 65 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: dealing with you. And that was what happened to me 66 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,080 Speaker 1: four years ago. Is I had suppressed the pain. I 67 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: did not deal with it, I did not confront it, 68 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: had one and it came to a head if you will. 69 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: And therefore, you know, it struck me really hard and 70 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: I had to go seek treatment because I could no 71 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: longer function. 72 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 3: Wow. 73 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 2: Okay, so talk to me about what that treatment looked 74 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 2: like for you. 75 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: So initially, you know, I went to therapy, and it's 76 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 1: really this is really crazy because I was in therapy 77 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: several years before I actually had any of this like 78 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 1: anxiety stuff officially diagnosed. I was in therapy because I 79 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: wanted to be a better mom, better wife. 80 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 4: You know. 81 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: I knew I had some childhood stuff, so I was like, 82 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 1: you know, just self improvement, and my therapist would always, 83 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,839 Speaker 1: you know, insinuate that I had some kind of underlying 84 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 1: anxiety and I was just like whatever, you know, didn't 85 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: pay attention to it. So when it all hit me 86 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,919 Speaker 1: and I had that breakdown, I not only would go 87 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 1: to therapy whatever every other week or you know, once 88 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: a month whatever for check ins, I was going every 89 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 1: single week consistently, and on top of that, I was 90 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 1: also taking medication because it had gotten so far out 91 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: of control that I was just not able to manage 92 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: it without the help of medicine any longer. 93 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 2: Right, And I think something that's interesting and I'm something sure, 94 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,600 Speaker 2: I'm sure something that you dealt with as well. Was 95 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 2: just this feeling or shame that we bring on upon 96 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,159 Speaker 2: ourselves that we're feeling anxious, as if we are not 97 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 2: strong enough to like come back this feeling. 98 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think for me, that was one 99 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 1: of the reasons why it took me three days to 100 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: decide whether or not I actually wanted to take the prescription. 101 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 1: One I didn't think that I would actually feel better, 102 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: and I didn't think it was, you know, gonna help me. 103 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: But then I think there was another part of me 104 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:55,359 Speaker 1: that I was just like, well, this means that I 105 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: am admitting that I can't handle this and I don't 106 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 1: want to have to take a pill or rely on 107 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: a medication, you know, to be able to function every day. 108 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 1: And I think, to be really honest, I am a 109 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: black woman, and so being taught as a Black woman 110 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 1: and even as just a woman in general, that you 111 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: have to be strong, you have to put on a 112 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: brave face. You don't want to show weakness. It was 113 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 1: specifically strong in my culture and where I grew up 114 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 1: in my community, for sure. 115 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 3: So then talk to me. 116 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 2: Talk to me about when you kind of started to 117 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 2: see the light at the end of the tunnel, so 118 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 2: to speak, after seeking out the treatment and the help 119 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 2: that you really needed. 120 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: So it took about physically speaking, for like the panic 121 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,279 Speaker 1: attacks and the shaking and all of that to stop. 122 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,359 Speaker 1: It took about a good four to six weeks for 123 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: the medicine to work. I will say, you know, as 124 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: with anything, when you're adjusting to new things that you're 125 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: putting in your body, it takes a while. 126 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 4: So things did get a little bit. 127 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: Weird the first couple of weeks, but the physical stuff 128 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: was the first thing that I noticed to leave. 129 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 4: And then I think. 130 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 1: As I moved forward with the medication and consistent therapy, 131 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: I started to notice that my brain activity, as far 132 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: as like how much I would actually put energy into 133 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: negative thoughts or overthinking. 134 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 4: Started to dissipate a little bit. And so when I 135 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 4: was in. 136 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: Therapy, I could actually focus on the things that you know, 137 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: I needed to focus on at that time, and not 138 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: you know, so much of like right now, I've got 139 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 1: to focus on this right now because you know, whatever 140 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: my mind was telling me at the time. It helped 141 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: me to go back and reflect on some of the 142 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: things as a child and really deal with that stuff. 143 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: So that was when I really started to see a 144 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 1: greater perspective, if you will, and. 145 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 4: A better path to recovery. 146 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 2: I had a guess not that long ago on the 147 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 2: on the show. Her name is Kara Lowenthile, and she's 148 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 2: a life coach and a podcaster, and she said something 149 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 2: that I thought was really interesting, which is really applicable 150 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 2: now bringing this full circle to how you're in the 151 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 2: position to talk on this and to offer up some 152 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 2: really great tips, is that unless you've been through it, 153 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 2: if you hadn't gone through this, if you hadn't had 154 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 2: these struggles, then how would you have had otherwise the 155 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 2: opportunity to learn these lessons to then bestow these takeaways 156 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 2: and the wisdom upon others. And I just thought that 157 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 2: was so valuable and really relevant to what we're about 158 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 2: to get into. 159 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you know what, absolutely, because yesterday I actually 160 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 1: talked about this very thing is that I've had to learn, 161 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 1: and I think one of the most important things I've 162 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 1: learned through this journey is to show gratitude for the 163 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: things that I've experienced and the things that I have 164 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: been through. Because to your point, and to your previous 165 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 1: guest point, I would not be where I am advocating 166 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: and writing about these very topics if I would not 167 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: you know, have gone through what I went through and 168 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:15,200 Speaker 1: experienced it and even had the courage to get the 169 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: help and be completely open about the help as well. 170 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:25,559 Speaker 1: So it definitely is something that was worthwhile. It didn't 171 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: feel like it at the time, and it rarely does, 172 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: but you can look back and say, Wow, I'm glad I. 173 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 4: Won't be that. 174 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you 175 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: all about my sponsor at good Gooder makes the best 176 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 2: active sunglasses. 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Today we're talking 190 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 2: now about overcoming fear and confronting pain. 191 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 3: So where does one even begin. 192 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: I would say that a person has to really get 193 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: super honest with themselves, right, I mean, I think that 194 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: that's where it started for me, even when I first 195 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: started going to therapy, before you know, the breakdown even happened. 196 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: I think I had to get really honest with myself 197 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: and say, hey. 198 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 4: I need help. 199 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: I need to go to therapy because you know, there's 200 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: some things in my life that are just not working right. 201 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:25,439 Speaker 1: And admitting that you don't have it all together and 202 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: that you know you need some help and you can't 203 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: do it by yourself is the first step. I think 204 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:37,199 Speaker 1: being aware is a huge, huge first step. And then 205 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 1: once you become aware or acknowledge it, then awareness and 206 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: then you actually begin to act on those that self awareness. 207 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 2: And I think a lot of the time, you know, 208 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 2: we may recognize that we're scared or that we're dealing 209 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 2: with something, but it could be kind of a reflex 210 00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:00,840 Speaker 2: to make a joke about it or be about it, 211 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 2: and by doing that, we're deflecting and not fully admitting 212 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,079 Speaker 2: what's actually going on. So it's not just like saying it, 213 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 2: but it's like being honest and open to the fact 214 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 2: that it's not something to joke about. 215 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 4: Right. 216 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that that's one of the most frustrating 217 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: things in the line of work that I do, is 218 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 1: really what people fail to realize is that when you 219 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: make jokes about mental health topics and sensitive issues like that, 220 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: it stigmatizes it. Even more so over the last several years, 221 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: we've heard, you know, the word bipolar come up and like, 222 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I feel so bipolar. 223 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 4: Oh my god, you know, like. 224 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: It's just a common thing to say, and a lot 225 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 1: of times we throw out that diagnosis to people just 226 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 1: for somebody who has a change in mood. Now, granted, 227 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: there may be some truth to it, and there may 228 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,719 Speaker 1: be some people that act like that that are not 229 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 1: necessarily that, but it's just further like putting more stigma 230 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 1: on top of this whole mental health crisis that we 231 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: have going on in our country right now, And so 232 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 1: joking is not appropriate, you know, dealing with it and saying, yes, 233 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: I do have this issue, Yes I do need to 234 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 1: go get help. It's okay that I'm feeling this way, 235 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 1: and acknowledging it, I think is the best way to 236 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 1: handle it. 237 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 2: Once someone acknowledges that this is going on, then what's 238 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 2: the next step. 239 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: Once you acknowledge, I think that that opens up the 240 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,840 Speaker 1: door for you to become self aware, right, so you 241 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 1: actually start. 242 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 4: Doing some digging. 243 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:46,839 Speaker 1: One of the things that I did was not only 244 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 1: did you know I go to therapy to help me 245 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: deal with other people, but I also went to therapy. 246 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 4: To learn about myself. 247 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:58,439 Speaker 1: It was a way for me to start my self 248 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 1: discovery journey and figure out exactly who Akia is, not 249 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: who everybody else wanted me to be, but who Akia is. 250 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 1: And so that is huge because the more you have 251 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,680 Speaker 1: clear understanding of your identity for who you are as 252 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: a person, your awareness, your self awareness goes to a 253 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: whole different level. And once you have a clear cut 254 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: understanding of who you are and your self aware, then 255 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: everything else follows soon. So then you start putting those 256 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 1: things into action. So that's what it's about. It's about acknowledgment, 257 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: it's about awareness, and then action. 258 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,119 Speaker 2: I still think though that I mean in the process 259 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 2: of taking action, in the process of confronting pain, it 260 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 2: can still be super intimidating and really scary. 261 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 3: So how do you get. 262 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:56,960 Speaker 2: Over that hurdle of ponying up and confronting what's really 263 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:57,440 Speaker 2: going on? 264 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. 265 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 1: So, you know, I give this analogy a lot, and 266 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: I talk about how we all are familiar probably with 267 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: the story of Tarzan and how in order for the vine, 268 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: the next vine to appear, he had to jump off 269 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 1: of the one he was on. And so that's kind 270 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 1: of how I look at my life, Like there, I 271 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 1: was on a completely different path before any of this 272 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: happened to me, and I had a choice. Am I 273 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: going to just take this diagnosis and am I just 274 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: gonna go quietly into the sunset and just fold? 275 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 4: Or am I going to actually be scared to death? 276 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 4: But do it anyway? 277 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: And that's what we have to do, Like there is 278 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 1: no you know, we can't necessarily just dip our little 279 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: toe in. We just gotta go for it. And then 280 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 1: once we go for it, I believe that all the 281 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 1: other stuff comes to fruition. It's not easy, It is 282 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: definitely not easy. It was one of the hardest things 283 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: that I had ever done in my life to start 284 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: talking about on a bloe, all of the stuff that 285 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 1: I had gone through, all of the stuff that I 286 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: was facing, and the discoveries that I was making about 287 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: myself as a person, and some of them weren't great. 288 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 4: It was hard, but it's a part of moving forward. 289 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: You've got to go backward and it may be a struggle, 290 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:23,040 Speaker 1: and that's a part of the process, definitely. 291 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 2: And so when it came to your personal journey and 292 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 2: confronting pain, did you use any specific tools, whether that 293 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 2: would be journaling, I know you mentioned I know you 294 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 2: mentioned therapy, but any other tools that were in your 295 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 2: personal toolbox to help you in this process. 296 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 4: Yeah. Absolutely. 297 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: So I colored when I felt really anxious, Like for me, 298 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 1: for example, I shaped. 299 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 4: I was shake a lot, and so. 300 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 1: Coloring was the only thing that I could actually like 301 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: hyper focus on that would stop the tremors, especially early 302 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: on in my recovery. So that was something that I did. Journaling, absolutely, 303 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 1: but I journaled in a different way, like whenever I 304 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: felt overwhelmed by a to do list or things that 305 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 1: I wanted to accomplish in the month, or the year 306 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: in my head because of the anxiety disorder, it would 307 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,920 Speaker 1: just those thoughts will go like a hamster wheell, and 308 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: it would lead me down all kinds of rabbit holes. 309 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,399 Speaker 1: And so what I decided to do was just start 310 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,520 Speaker 1: taking out my journal and just writing them down. And 311 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 1: I realized that what seemed to be like a lot 312 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,320 Speaker 1: in my head was only about four things on paper. 313 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,880 Speaker 1: It was the rabbit holes that I was going down 314 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 1: that actually made the four things seem like twenty four things. 315 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 3: I think that's such a beautiful designation. 316 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 2: I mean, how often do we just feel like the 317 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:52,560 Speaker 2: entire world is just closing in on us and overwhelmed, 318 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,959 Speaker 2: and like we can't even articulate what's wrong when we 319 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,240 Speaker 2: don't even take the time to sit down and try. 320 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 2: We've talked about the strategy of journaling, talked about therapy. 321 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 2: What else, if anything, would you offer up to someone 322 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,360 Speaker 2: who is just really going through it in terms of pain? 323 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: Right now, these last two things I'm gonna say are 324 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:17,160 Speaker 1: going to sound really really like common sense and maybe 325 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: even silly. But the first one would be cry it out. 326 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:27,639 Speaker 1: And there is such a thing that when you cry, 327 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 1: it releases toxins from your body, no lie, and it 328 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 1: resets your brain. The other thing I would say would 329 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 1: be take a nap. You know how people say when 330 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: they've had a rough day, you know what, I'm just 331 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 1: going to go home and sleep on it. Definitely, that's why, 332 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: because sleep, also like crying, resets your brain. And so 333 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 1: I know that I have gone to bed sometimes frustrated, irritated, disappointed, 334 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 1: like I will tell you last Thursday was that day 335 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,200 Speaker 1: for me. I had a very for a week. Last week. 336 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,720 Speaker 1: I was feeling like I was being pushed to the brink, 337 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: and I had a lot of anxiety. So I just said, 338 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 1: you know, it's time for me to take a time out, 339 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 1: and I got in I took a shower, I got 340 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:17,800 Speaker 1: into bed early, and I slept, and when I woke 341 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,360 Speaker 1: up the next morning, everything looked a whole lot clearer. 342 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: And so I think that we need to give ourselves 343 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,400 Speaker 1: permission to cry, give ourselves permission to take a time 344 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 1: out and not feel guilt or like we shouldn't be 345 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,880 Speaker 1: giving ourselves that space. 346 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,040 Speaker 2: Definitely, and I think that I mean the sleep on it, 347 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,199 Speaker 2: the taking a step back, Like sometimes it's just so 348 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,639 Speaker 2: easy to be so reactive in the moment, so to 349 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 2: fall back and give yourself some grace along with some space. 350 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 3: It can just be so vital. 351 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 4: Yes, grace and space. 352 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 3: That's exactly right, space and grace and space. 353 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much for everything that you've shared, 354 00:19:54,400 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 2: for your strategies for navigating some scary time, some fearful times. 355 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 2: And I really appreciate what you what you had to 356 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,520 Speaker 2: offer the hurdlers today. 357 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 1: Well, I just appreciate you and what you do and 358 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: your podcast. I love the concept. I think it is amazing, 359 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: So thank you for having me. 360 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 2: Thank you. Please take a moment and leave a quick 361 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,680 Speaker 2: review by clicking the link with the description to this episode. 362 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 2: We all face multiple hurdles in life. I want to 363 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 2: hear about yours. Reach Out to me at Emily at 364 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 2: Hurdle dot us. Connect to the podcast on Instagram and 365 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,120 Speaker 2: Twitter at Hurdle Podcast. 366 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 3: How do we keep up with you? Akia? Give me 367 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 3: the details? 368 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 4: All right? 369 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: Well, you can follow me on Instagram at Akia Red, 370 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,440 Speaker 1: or you can go to my website Akia read dot 371 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,879 Speaker 1: com and signed up sign up for my newsletter. I 372 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 1: promise I don't sell your information. So I do is 373 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 1: just communicate on a weekly basis and talk to you 374 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 1: about different thoughts that I'm having, different tips, mental health 375 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: things that I'm thinking about. 376 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 4: So yeah, Instagram and my newsletter. 377 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 3: I dig it. 378 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 2: I am over at emia, body and at hurdle podcas 379 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 2: cast another hurdle conquered. 380 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,720 Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.