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Speaker 1: I heard my husband in an argument and he won't

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Speaker 1: talk to me. Now, how do I fix this? You apologize?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you double.

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Speaker 3: Down, he double down, and you put him on trial

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Speaker 3: and you say which burdam at the stake, and then

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Speaker 3: you don't have to deal with your problems ever.

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Speaker 2: Again, that's true. If you drown your problems, they won't resurface. Wow,

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Speaker 2: harsh words from the Donner siblings come back to you, John,

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Speaker 2: This comes from I am Future's disciple. So my husband,

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Speaker 2: thirty two male, and I thirty one female, have been

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Speaker 2: together for seven years and married for five. We have

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Speaker 2: a three and a half month old son and a

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Speaker 2: one year old daughter. His parents passed away when he

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Speaker 2: was twenty.

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Speaker 1: To describe it, to describe it shortly, he despises his

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Speaker 1: father to this day. His father ruined his promising athletic future.

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Speaker 1: He once ranked in the top ten nationally at his

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Speaker 1: sport insert sport here, Top ten nationally.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's insert sport here. That's a preacher forty.

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Speaker 2: I mean that is to be a top dog there.

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Speaker 3: An insert sport here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it sounds like what OP is saying

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Speaker 2: is every sport you just insert a sport? Yeah, top ten.

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Speaker 1: You gotta put it, You got to lay it all

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Speaker 1: out on the field, slash pish, slash ring, slash.

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Speaker 2: Stadium, which that kid does. Yeah, he does all.

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Speaker 1: Of it absolutely Yeah, and he forced him to focus

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Speaker 1: on school. My husband was accepted into Ivy League school

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Speaker 1: and his father refused to pay the tuition as well.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: His father was a control feek, physically abusive towards him,

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Speaker 1: and refuse to entertain any opposing opinions. My husband vowed

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Speaker 1: to himself to never be like his father and to

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Speaker 1: always encourage his future kid's interests and opportunities. He has

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Speaker 1: always been a kind. He's always been an amazing husband

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Speaker 1: and father to me and our kids. He makes spending

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Speaker 1: time with us a priority, keeps our relationship fun and exciting,

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Speaker 1: and just always makes me feel beautiful, appreciated.

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Speaker 3: What did OP do in the argument?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. It sound sounds like it's great, so far,

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Speaker 2: great and really quick.

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Speaker 3: So Op's dad's husband's dad was like this and bad

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Speaker 3: in me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, husband, and he was like the d one athlete. Ye,

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Speaker 2: what a catch, by the way, nice work, Op.

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Speaker 1: We have been going through a bit of a rough

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Speaker 1: patch for a few weeks and we were arguing about

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Speaker 1: something that wasn't even worth arguing about in hindsight. He

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Speaker 1: said that he was done arguing and walked away made conversation.

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Speaker 1: I blurted out, you're just like your father, the wrong words.

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Speaker 2: As soon as I.

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Speaker 1: Said that, I immediately tried apologizing and ran to him and

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Speaker 1: tried to hug him.

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Speaker 2: He refused my hug, looked at him, shook his head.

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Speaker 3: Oh, not the shaking of the head.

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Speaker 2: It's a disappointment. It's disappointment, saying disappointment, Yeah, Riley. If

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Speaker 2: John shook his head and did that, how do you feel.

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Speaker 4: Like the worst person ever? It's like if you kicked

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Speaker 4: the dog.

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Speaker 2: That's how I feel. Well, I can't kick a dog,

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Speaker 2: I said, Well, I can't kick a dog. Kick a dog?

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Speaker 3: Oh, I see, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Soph It's like, how dare you? I'm like, I'm saying

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't John, you would kick a dog.

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Speaker 3: You're saying that add a dog part.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I add a dog a dog somewhere here. I'm

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Speaker 2: about to get an attacked. A whole day passed and

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Speaker 2: I haven't seen or heard from him. A whole day.

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Speaker 1: I called, texted, left as many voicemails as I could,

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Speaker 1: apologizing and asking him to please come home. I reached

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Speaker 1: out to his friends and they had not heard from

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Speaker 1: him either. He walked in drunk at four am the

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Speaker 1: next night and collapsed on our couch. I heard him

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Speaker 1: come in and ran downstairs to see him. He was

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Speaker 1: slurring his words and was saying things.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm not like him. Oh, why would you say that?

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Speaker 2: I just held him in my arms all night long

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Speaker 2: and apologized, Oh, this is this is so sad. This

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Speaker 2: is so sad because it's like, it's probably it's probably

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Speaker 2: his worst fear, his worst nightmare, to be.

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Speaker 1: Like his dad, and probably just like so much trauma

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Speaker 1: memories packed into that if he.

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Speaker 3: Was physically abusive. Absolutely, yeah, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean just like I mean, it seems like this father

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Speaker 2: just ruined his life, yeah, or tried to actively tried to.

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Speaker 3: And knowing the like op giving us the knowledge that

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Speaker 3: he's not like that, and like giving all that her

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Speaker 3: own pa, from her own POV. She's like, he's great,

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Speaker 3: he sends time with the kids, he's a loving father

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Speaker 3: and husband.

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Speaker 1: Over an argument that OPI was like, this was about

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Speaker 1: basically meaningless.

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Speaker 3: Now, Yeah, Sam Hyatt says the worst part is that

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Speaker 3: the husband wasn't even emulating his father. OPI just simply

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Speaker 3: wanted to say what she knew would hurt her husband

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Speaker 3: the most.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it's been another two days and my husband refuses

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Speaker 1: to talk or look at me. He's not even eating

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Speaker 1: anything I made. I have tried talking to him and apologizing.

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Speaker 1: He just looks at me and says, it's just another

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Speaker 1: living thing I have to live with.

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Speaker 2: Ah like his wife, or maybe it's like a thing

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Speaker 2: I have to live with that I could that, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I see another thing. Yeah that you said that? Yeah wow,

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Speaker 2: and walks away from wherever I am. I have no

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Speaker 2: idea how to fix this.

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean to hurt him, but the fact that

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Speaker 1: he feels betrayed by the one person he should feel

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Speaker 1: supported uplifted by me. He's absolutely loved my life, and

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Speaker 1: it hurts me knowing that I have caused him to

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Speaker 1: feel this pain. Please advise me on what I can

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Speaker 1: do or say to fix this. We have some comments.

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Speaker 1: We have an update, but Riley, Riley, dam and Sophia

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Speaker 1: Yeah maybe really timon.

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Speaker 2: What should Opie do? Well? First, if you all have

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Speaker 2: thoughts on what Opie should do, message Riley in the discord.

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Speaker 2: We can bring you up on stage. But I mean,

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Speaker 2: OPI did the right thing initially by apologizing immediately. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I think I think is obviously is an extreme sore

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Speaker 2: spot for the husband with all that that context that

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Speaker 2: we now know. And I don't I don't know if

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Speaker 2: there's going to be anything that you can do besides

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Speaker 2: apologize and say you'll never do it again and give

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Speaker 2: him the because.

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Speaker 3: Like when reassure him that he's not.

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Speaker 2: Reassure him that he's not. But it just know that,

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Speaker 2: like you've said probably the most hurtful thing that you

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Speaker 2: could say to him, like like and and and also

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Speaker 2: ask yourself. I think that for like like there's there's

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Speaker 2: no there's two parts that you have to address. It's

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Speaker 2: it's the I hurt someone, how do I make them

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Speaker 2: feel better? And then also why did I say the

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Speaker 2: most hurtful thing that came to mind? Like knowing that

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Speaker 2: it was the yeah, like why did I feel the

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Speaker 2: need to say that and investigate that that that that feeling,

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Speaker 2: because like it seemed like it was a way overstep

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Speaker 2: for the situation. You need to say that to communicate

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Speaker 2: what you wanted to communicate.

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Speaker 1: I agree, I wonder what OP would stay to that,

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Speaker 1: like why she chose to reach for the most harmful thing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean maybe I think that's only that's a

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Speaker 2: thing that op has to understand herself. And then you know,

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Speaker 2: I think there's a process of uh, investigating it yourself,

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Speaker 2: but a process of therapy. So it's like individual therapy

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Speaker 2: for that potentially a couple's therapy for you and and

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Speaker 2: your husband, but it can start with you, like we

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Speaker 2: always say therapy, but really what that means is setting

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Speaker 2: aside time for reflection, and like reflection can even if

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Speaker 2: you and a therapy is expensive, so like even if

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Speaker 2: you don't have the money for therapy, sending time for

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Speaker 2: reflection for like how can I how can I think

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Speaker 2: about why I did this? How can I think about

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Speaker 2: how can I repair this relationship? And like move on

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Speaker 2: from this? Deep work on yourself, Deep work on yourself.

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Speaker 2: But some of the comments Lessaana says because she knew,

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Speaker 2: Teddy says again she had that locked and loaded because

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Speaker 2: she knew. Kimberly find says she needs to apologize and

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Speaker 2: articulate specific examples to negate her accusation and reassure him

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Speaker 2: of his most aggressively opposite character. That's a great.

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Speaker 1: Point, because like he's probably in such a hurt, an

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Speaker 1: emotional and volatile state that his brain might like misconstrue

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Speaker 1: and be like, oh, this is the thing that makes

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Speaker 1: me like him or whatever, and so OPI like, really

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Speaker 1: really going hard on hammering it down that you are

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Speaker 1: actually not like your father and explaining why could probably

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Speaker 1: help him get back to reality and stuff.

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Speaker 2: That negative self talking like a sorry is a start,

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Speaker 2: but it is false and it's it is far from complete,

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Speaker 2: and actually, Kimberly fine, I really also, Kimberly find you

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Speaker 2: have been active. You were in the members only stream

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Speaker 2: yesterday drop in bars, so she got a Kimberly.

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Speaker 4: Fine message me on discord Kimberly Fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think that Kimberly finds idea of it's

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Speaker 2: not just that you need a general apology like I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: you need a specific apology with counter examples, like I'm

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Speaker 2: thinking write an entire essay, a letter, page letter, four

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Speaker 2: page letter saying here are all the examples of you

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Speaker 2: actively being the opposite of who your father was, and

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Speaker 2: hear all the values that you embody on a daily, weekly,

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Speaker 2: yearly basis. Points.

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Speaker 1: We do have some comments got are relevance from the

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Speaker 1: stret This comes from Twofindex, who says, great, in order

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Speaker 1: to win a stupid argument, you had to give him

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Speaker 1: a low blow using what was a thing he only

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Speaker 1: confided to a person he truly trusted and loved, loved

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Speaker 1: by what it looks. To win an effing argument, you

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Speaker 1: must be proud of yourself. It will really be worth

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Speaker 1: it in the long run.

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Speaker 2: You will see you're the a hole and that comment

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Speaker 2: are just really going in and there.

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Speaker 3: I hope he already knows that they age.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he knows that they did it bad.

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Speaker 3: Then sure for advice.

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Speaker 2: See were the opposite of Reddit. Reddit, Well, just like

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Speaker 2: see you when you're on the ground and smash you

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Speaker 2: or like, hey, let's help you get up and make

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Speaker 2: sure you're kicking dogs? Yeah? Reddits kicking dog the dog

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Speaker 2: just like dog kickers.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they saw a dog bite someone and they're like

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Speaker 3: and then the dog's like and then they're like.

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Speaker 2: Ah, and then we're like, it's okay, puppy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's work on that.

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Speaker 1: Nover Primate nover Prime nineteen eighty eight says all the

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Speaker 1: way through reading this, I was praying you wouldn't say

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Speaker 1: those words. I honestly thought you weren't that stupid, but

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Speaker 1: you were. Slash r once again proving the point we

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Speaker 1: just said it.

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Speaker 3: How can you help her? Said that they did it,

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Speaker 3: they were wrong.

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Speaker 1: I'm beyond disgusted. So I can only imagine how he feels.

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Speaker 1: You took his deepest trauma and wielded it against him

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Speaker 1: in a petty argument, achieving maximum damage. Congratulations for re

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Speaker 1: traumatizing an abuse victim.

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Speaker 2: You're the a hole. This isn't even a question.

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Speaker 3: But they weren't.

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Speaker 2: Well obviously like.

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Speaker 3: They were asking. They didn't say, am I.

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Speaker 2: They said like, how do I fix this? Reddit?

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Speaker 3: Come on?

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Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's a little bit like

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Speaker 1: where like some people might take a like a virtue

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Speaker 1: signaling thing not to actually push forward like a specific moral,

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Speaker 1: but to feel like superior over someone else, and people

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Speaker 1: are just like.

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Speaker 2: Man, you're so stupid, and it's like that's not helping them. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's a superiority complex. And I think something that we're

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Speaker 2: trying to create, like here in this show is values

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Speaker 2: of understanding, and yeah, we're trying to make Yeah, we're

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Speaker 2: trying to clown on them to know, we're trying to

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Speaker 2: make sure that like all the advice we give is

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Speaker 2: so people can grow most effectively. Yeah right, and that's

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Speaker 2: it's from that point, like repair relationships and grow most effectively.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't agree more.

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Speaker 1: And this last one from Bttle Strength says, Ope, you

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Speaker 1: didn't even mean what you said. He's done nothing to

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Speaker 1: resemble his father. You just wanted to hurt him.

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Speaker 2: You succeeded. That's just cool. The hell you want to

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Speaker 2: know now? You want to know if what you can

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Speaker 2: do to fix this? Fix yourself first. If I'm not clear,

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Speaker 2: you're got like.

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Speaker 3: A tiny sliver of advice from the comments.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was just not yourself productive. That was not productive,

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Speaker 1: by the way. Uh they The judgment on the post

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Speaker 1: itself for the majority was that OP was ales one,

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Speaker 1: which OPI definitely is.

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Speaker 3: That's obvious, of course, the ale.

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Speaker 2: And you know who else is the ahel? John you

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Speaker 2: if you oh, hello dog, what's your dog's name? Willo?

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Speaker 5: Hello?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay? Does she like to sniff? Perfect?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Thank you? Thank you for the visit Willow by Willow.

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Speaker 2: I love those trees. But you know who else is

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Speaker 2: the ahole who definitely not Willow will but everyone who

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Speaker 2: hasn't liked this stream. Yeah, at least how many How

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Speaker 2: many people do we have in this stream? Riley? A lot?

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Speaker 2: We have a lot of people in this stream and

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Speaker 2: we're not even at our first wheel spin.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, seven hundred and twenty of you guys.

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Speaker 2: Seven hundred and twenty and we don't even have a

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Speaker 2: wheel spin. What the heck? Guys?

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Speaker 1: Riley had to carry this entire streaming set up on

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Speaker 1: his back for ten miles, walking without shambles, like a camel.

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Speaker 3: And I whipped him every time.

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Speaker 2: He ya, Sofia was on top of Riley too.

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Speaker 3: She's saying on his shoulders. I was behind and walking.

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Speaker 3: I was on one of those little mopeds.

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Speaker 4: No, no, no, she was on the camel like I'm a camel.

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Speaker 4: And the hump, she was on the hump like.

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Speaker 2: Tears over here. Cheer into this next update, y'all. This

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Speaker 2: is ten days later, by the way.

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Speaker 1: Pretty recently I got some comments and some messages trashing

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Speaker 1: my husband for walking away from the argument that started

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Speaker 1: all of us and saying that he is like his father.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: So there was people on the opposite side of the

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Speaker 1: spectrum too. Who is who's saying it's so mean? Maybe

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Speaker 1: some of the worst comments on any story.

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Speaker 2: And also we have a bunch of donations that we

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Speaker 2: have to read that we will read right after this

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Speaker 2: update and before we bring one of you guys on stage.

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Speaker 1: That is correct, So if you want to be on stage,

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Speaker 1: especially Kimberly, fine if you got any thoughts on this.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to say what the argument was about here,

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Speaker 1: but it was pointless and walking away from it was

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Speaker 1: the mature thing to do. Miss in context, he is

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Speaker 1: the best friend and father. He is the best husband

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Speaker 1: and father anyone could ask for. Even when he wasn't

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Speaker 1: talking to me, he was still spending time with and

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Speaker 1: taking care of the kids. Think whatever you want of me,

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Speaker 1: I deserve it, but leave him out of it. On

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Speaker 1: to the actual update. My husband came back home after

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Speaker 1: work the next day and bought takeout for the family

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Speaker 1: and bought takeout for dinner. We had dinner as a

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Speaker 1: family for the first time in a few days, and

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Speaker 1: put the kids to bed together.

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Speaker 2: I asked if we could talk.

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Speaker 1: I apologized and admitted that I was tired of all

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Speaker 1: the arguments we were having lately, and in the heat

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Speaker 1: of the moment, I wanted to hurt him and said

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Speaker 1: what would hurt the most. He said, he knows he

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Speaker 1: is nothing like his father, and why I thought he would?

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Speaker 1: He said, he he said that he knows he's nothing

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Speaker 1: like his father, and why I thought?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So, like, what what about what I did? Yes,

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Speaker 2: would make you say that? He asked the question back.

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Speaker 1: I promised that I don't believe that at all, and

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Speaker 1: told him all the great things he does for me

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Speaker 1: and our children. I told him that I would see

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Speaker 1: a therapist to figure out what made me say what

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Speaker 1: I did and make sure it never happened again. The

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Speaker 1: conversation lasted about an hour and a half and ended

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Speaker 1: with him telling me that it would take some time,

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Speaker 1: but we would be okay as long as I never

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Speaker 1: compared him to his father again.

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Speaker 2: We kissed, had some spicy sleep together. Oh, we love

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Speaker 2: the makeup sex. Yes, if you have a fight, makeup

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Speaker 2: sex to seal the deal, that's the wax stamp. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's the wax seal.

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Speaker 1: In the next few days. In the next few days,

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Speaker 1: there was a certain coldness about him. He was still

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Speaker 1: happy to spend time with the kids, but was still

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Speaker 1: somewhat cold to me.

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Speaker 2: Well, duh, you need time, Yeah, duh, you just said

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Speaker 2: the worst thing you could to him. He needs time

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Speaker 2: to recover.

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Speaker 1: I wrote him a letter telling him how much I

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Speaker 1: loved and appreciated him, and promised and never heard him again,

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Speaker 1: and slipped it into his lunch back.

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Speaker 3: You can't promise that, though, that you've never heard him again.

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Speaker 3: You can't promise that you'll never hurt him again.

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Speaker 2: Or you can darn tot and try.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think you can say like I will,

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Speaker 3: I will try. You were going forward, you know you

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Speaker 3: could promise to never hurt all right.

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Speaker 1: He came home with flowers for me that day. Our

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Speaker 1: normal vibe was somewhat returned, and it looks like we

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Speaker 1: will be doing good moving forward.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so this is this is good. This is good.

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Speaker 2: It's looking nice.

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Speaker 1: There are some relevant commis to clothes out, but first

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Speaker 1: we have some relevant freaking donation to the stream. Riley

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Speaker 1: could just go down a lot. Also, did we just

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Speaker 1: reach another thirty minutes? Yoh, let's go.

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Speaker 2: The stream continues, but John's gonna read these Dono's Fat

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Speaker 2: Pigeon Pie. Thanks for the ten bucks on the Dono link.

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Speaker 1: My brother tried, oh my gosh, to unlive himself last night.

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Speaker 2: How how do I go on? How do I go on?

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Speaker 1: He took he took his nephew out on Sunday to

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Speaker 1: silently say goodbye because they have such a good connection.

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Speaker 2: I have broken down. I am broken down? How do

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Speaker 2: I go on? Guys?

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Speaker 1: Love you all I guys, please put a lot of

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Speaker 1: hearts and send some love, kind messages and positive energy

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Speaker 1: for toward Fat Pigeon's way.

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Speaker 2: Fat Pigeon, we love you and are so sorry you're

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Speaker 2: going through that. And I think also, I mean, if

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Speaker 2: you're asking, like maybe what to do as many people

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Speaker 2: as know that person send like, like make sure they

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Speaker 2: know they are loved. I think a lot of people

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Speaker 2: think about you know, I had a very depressive state

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Speaker 2: when I was in like middle and high school, and

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Speaker 2: like the thing that I felt is I was just

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Speaker 2: disconnected from everyone. And so I think the way to

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Speaker 2: help in those situations is just try to make that

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Speaker 2: person feel as connected as possible and like write letters,

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Speaker 2: send love, give hugs, like as much as possible. You

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Speaker 2: clearly love this person so much, so let's let them

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Speaker 2: know all of that all of that love that you

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Speaker 2: that you have, and spend in person time. Yeah, in

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Speaker 2: person time, so to help help them. That a spiral and.

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Speaker 1: Marluz thank you for the five buck tip as well

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Speaker 1: on the donor link. On another five bucks. Hi from

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Speaker 1: Antwerp doing some time doing some nighttime street photography while

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Speaker 1: listening to the stream. That's awesome. That's so sick. Mo

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Speaker 1: orm thanks for a one buck tip. Love the Outdoor Stream.

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Speaker 1: Op needs to go to therapy and figure out why

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Speaker 1: she said that.

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Speaker 2: That is true.

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Speaker 1: And JC thanks for the ten bucks on the dome link.

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Speaker 1: Love the Outdoor Lives. Thank y'all for all the work

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Speaker 1: that you do.

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Speaker 2: By the way, join the discord if you haven't joined

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Speaker 2: the discord is so fun. I all of us. I

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00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 2: for sure our lurkers all the time. We do participate

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Speaker 2: as well.

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Speaker 3: But I I read, I posted.

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Speaker 2: I read everything in the SAM channel for sure.

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Speaker 3: I made a stream meme. Guys, she did Whoa featuring

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Speaker 3: John and it was great.

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Speaker 2: Is this a personal No?

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Speaker 3: I don't think so.

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Speaker 2: Have I been memed?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: You have you have been. That's the oldest thing.

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Speaker 3: That have to show it.

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Speaker 2: I will pull it up.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I was really proud of it. I

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Speaker 3: made it after our stream on.

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Speaker 1: Two Well, I definitely want to see it now. At

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Speaker 1: least I don't say me me like my mom, did.

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Speaker 2: You see that?

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Speaker 6: Me?

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Speaker 2: Me?

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Speaker 3: Guys, I.

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Speaker 2: Gotta, I gotta, I gotta start back. So thanks for

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Speaker 2: all hard work you do.

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Speaker 1: By the way, join the discord because if because I

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Speaker 1: want to keep getting messed up, because if you haven't.

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Speaker 2: What are you doing.

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Speaker 1: Plus we're hosting anime nights and more community events to come.

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Speaker 3: Love y'all, we have community events.

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Speaker 2: That's freaking incredible. I didn't even know that. That is awesome,

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Speaker 2: j C. Thank you for letting the people know.

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Speaker 3: We've made like a machine and it's it's become sentient.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's what we want. I think the best

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Speaker 2: communities are communities that just like grow upon themselves and

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Speaker 2: and then are just like self sustaining. It's so good. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we we don't even like you know, we want to

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Speaker 2: start it and have you guys run with it. Okay,

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Speaker 2: story time is over real, Joanna.

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Speaker 1: Things for to ten bucks on A don't like having

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Speaker 1: ten and night is super bad tonight as having tonight.

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Speaker 3: I don't do it.

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Speaker 5: Yeahs and I it's super bad for the first time

427
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Speaker 5: ever today and y'all's wonderful voices are the only things

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Speaker 5: keeping me sane right now, hoping for thirty more minutes.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think we just hit it. We just hit it,

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Speaker 1: so heck yeah. And then Bethany thanks her to two bucks.

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Speaker 1: Just want more stream time.

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Speaker 2: Love you guys, love you back.

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Speaker 3: You got it?

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Speaker 2: Wait wait wait, there's more, there's more, There's more, but

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Speaker 2: wait more?

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Speaker 1: Oh by Oh yep, Bethany, we got mo. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: one buck. Sophia is cold. Someone give her blanket. Sophia,

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Speaker 1: how you doing?

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty cool.

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Speaker 2: If someone is in the Santa Monica area and you

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Speaker 2: know where a Hotchkiss park is, bring Sophia blanket.

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Speaker 3: Now like three layers and then I have another jacket.

443
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 2: You know what you could do? You could come say hi.

444
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,120
Speaker 2: You could tap us on the shoulder and be like hello,

445
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 2: I'm here, and then you can sit over there and

446
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 2: watch the show and give Sophia a bukey.

447
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 4: I'll let you even produce.

448
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 2: Ye spin spin the wheel of sorts. We actually don't

449
00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 2: have that kitchen wishes.

450
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 3: Lol? Is IRL autocorrect? I do it automatically. I don't

451
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 3: mean to like, it just comes out.

452
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 2: I'll say a word wrong and she'll be like you

453
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,880
Speaker 2: said that, Okay, I do not do that, John, Does

454
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 2: she do that? Yes? Not that strong. Yeah, I wouldn't.

455
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 2: I'll say like love boobles, and she will be like

456
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 2: boobles boobles.

457
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay. Only if it's like a word that's

458
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 3: easy to pronounce and then you just like accidentally say

459
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 3: it wrong. But if it's like a word that could

460
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 3: be mispronounced, like tonight is, I'm just just automatically correct it.

461
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 2: So I have two different modes anyway, Twisted Queen twenty

462
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 2: four come in with a thirty dollars donation. I joined

463
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 2: late and need more time. Love you guys, Twisted Queen

464
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 2: twenty four, We love you, and you know who else.

465
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 2: We love Bethany with the five bucks. Everyone like this

466
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 2: dream and donate because I am bored and just got

467
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 2: off surgery this morning, so need something to listen to. Well,

468
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: you're welcome, Pigeon General. Thanks for the five bumps helping

469
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 2: make sure we get another half hour. And you should

470
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 2: watch our worm queen, because you're in open sky and

471
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 2: that's pigeon territory. Watch that is true. The pigeons are

472
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 2: going to come and pick you up and drop you down.

473
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: Actually, so you Pigeon Army just decimated my car with feces.

474
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.

475
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 3: I had to go get my car. It's super clean

476
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 3: right now, hopefully stays. I cleaned it yesterday.

477
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,919
Speaker 4: My girlfriend had to do that as well, and I

478
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 4: do now to what clean my car?

479
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 3: I also need to place really close by. I'll tell

480
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 3: you about it. It's like a self thing, but it's pretty.

481
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 2: It's like I don't like the self not knowing. I'm

482
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 2: so bad. I did it and it's still thirty.

483
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 3: Okay, well it's pretty good.

484
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 2: Jac Thanks for the ten bucks, love the outdoor lives.

485
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 2: Thanks for everything. Reminder, if you haven't joined the Discord,

486
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 2: what are you doing? Jac, I'm saying it again. I

487
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 2: know you say, don't say it again, but I'm saying

488
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 2: it again. Joined the Discord. We've been hosting anime night

489
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 2: and it's always a great time in the Discord. Katip,

490
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 2: thanks for my bucks. Sorry, I just hopped on right now.

491
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 2: Is this the end of the story? A little quick

492
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 2: TLDR anyone tldrs are always above the dono bar, so

493
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 2: if you have any questions, it's right there. So read

494
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 2: it and then Riley go up. Tiaka thinks with my bucks.

495
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 2: Finally caught my first live stream. You guys helped pull

496
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 2: me out of a BP low bipolar low. I think

497
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 2: I've gotten more done in the past two weeks, in

498
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 2: the past two months. Thank you all so much. When's

499
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 2: the last time we received a Canadian care package? I'm

500
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 2: not sure if we.

501
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 3: I'm I'm receiving a Canadian friend next week we may

502
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 3: My Canadian friend I met in Europe is coming to

503
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:52,239
Speaker 3: stay with us.

504
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't know that that's cool.

505
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 3: You didn't know that it's in them. I asked you

506
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 3: guys all about it.

507
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 2: I don't remember that yes read to. I feel like

508
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 2: Sophia just says we said yes to.

509
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 3: The I'll agree to it, I said, I didn't read

510
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 3: it said yes.

511
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 2: I just want to shout out Plant for always checking

512
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 2: on me, especially if I'm worried depressed. Wouldn't have found

513
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: her without y'all. So to y'all. Shout out to y'all

514
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 2: too talking.

515
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: Favorite thing when you guys, guys, there are literally lifelong

516
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 1: friends in this community.

517
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 2: In the discord. HAWKL. Tavis thanks for the two bucks

518
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,959
Speaker 2: and more. Deeck thinks for the ten bucks. Just got

519
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,199
Speaker 2: out of work. Time to give y'all my full attention

520
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 2: More Ducks was on the members only stream yesterday and

521
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 2: we pulled her up on stage. We chatted, We chatted

522
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 2: More Ducks, thank you for the tip, and now we

523
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 2: are going to get to this next update of this story.

524
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: Wait, there's I can close this out with some really

525
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 1: quick rollman comments. So the Noise says good, sounds like

526
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 1: you deserve the shakedown and seems like you've made conscious

527
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: effort and repeated efforts to mend they image. That's the

528
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 1: right attitude, and I hope you guys are all right. Excited,

529
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 1: Tabletop says the husband was Slash is waiting to see

530
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: if it sticks or if OP just wants to apologize

531
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 1: to make the incident disappear forever. And that'll be the

532
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 1: real test if OP can put in the work or

533
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 1: she can't. Sebastian Dirk says, uh, yeah, the I will so,

534
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,479
Speaker 1: so I will do what I can to make up

535
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 1: for it, either last or just last a week or two,

536
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: maybe a month. Op's long term behavior is what will

537
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: settle this. And then Walkable Farmhouse says, I hope you

538
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: realize you're incredibly lucky for your marriage to survive this.

539
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 1: You should look into anger management classes. There's probably some

540
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: you could do online. It's never acceptable to hurt your

541
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 1: loved one on.

542
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, agreed, those were slightly those were better at comments.

543
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, thats were much nicer and also TLDR for everyone

544
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 2: coming in before we bring someone on stage to give

545
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 2: their opinion. Basically, op said the most hurtful thing she

546
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 2: could think of to her husband in an argument and said,

547
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 2: you are just like your father. The father was like abusive,

548
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 2: really hurt her husband and just just like like Opie

549
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 2: said the worst thing. And now she's like, how do

550
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 2: I apologize? She did apologize, like wrote a letter and

551
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 2: all this things, but I want to know from our

552
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 2: person coming from their discord, what do you think? Is

553
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 2: there anything else that you think Opie should have done,

554
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 2: anything that you recommend, Like when you say something hurtful,

555
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 2: what's the best thing you can do to apologize? And

556
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 2: how do you apologize? That's a great question. And Riley's

557
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 2: pulling up the discord person right now.

558
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 4: All right, let's see who it is.

559
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 2: And Bill commonly says, how do we get called for

560
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 2: our take? You? We love wheels ticket we're calling and

561
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 2: Dumble says, like the stream, what are we at? What

562
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 2: are we at likes.

563
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 3: Wise or something for five twenty likes until we get

564
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 3: the wheel spind Are you do you even want the

565
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 3: wheel sped?

566
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 2: Guys?

567
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 4: All right, Speaka too is on the line and you're

568
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 4: on mute.

569
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,159
Speaker 2: There you are, Dika two. What's the best way to

570
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 2: apologize to someone? Let us know right now?

571
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 6: Oh oh shit, that was kind of sudden.

572
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,880
Speaker 3: But sorry, where did they? Yeah?

573
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 6: The best way to apologize someone is actually being very sincere,

574
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 6: and actually, for me definitely is for writing a letter

575
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 6: because I've been with the opposite side of actually being

576
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 6: hurt because my ex husband did say some horrible things

577
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 6: about my motherhood. Wow, about maybe and my mother and everything,

578
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 6: and that's how I'm still working on it with therapy

579
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 6: to this day. But I write. I write a journal

580
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 6: and I write every day and that helps me gather

581
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 6: my thoughts and also for me to be a better

582
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 6: person for our friends, because I lashed out my friends

583
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 6: before because during the whole divorce that I went through.

584
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 6: And so for me to apologize, I always just write

585
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 6: it out in a journal first, and then I either

586
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 6: say it to them face to face or if not,

587
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 6: on FaceTime yeah, or just like I said.

588
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 3: Be sincere.

589
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's actually a really important thing where

590
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 2: it's like it's way harder to communicate sincerity over like

591
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 2: text or even a call, and like if you can

592
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 2: see someone's face and hear them, I think it like

593
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 2: communicates so much more sincerity. And I love the idea

594
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 2: of I mean, like sometimes like when you write out

595
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: what you're feeling and thinking, it like you can see

596
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 2: the end and start of all your different thoughts and

597
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: untie them and you're like, oh, like that's like that's

598
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 2: why I'm sad or that's why I'm angry or that's

599
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 2: why I did this, and allows you to like trace

600
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 2: the origin of things.

601
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, getting it like when it's in your own head,

602
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: it has this way of like this combibling self. So

603
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: I love your advice for writing it out on both ends,

604
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: both the person who is like apologizing to like write

605
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: out and make a clear apology and then the person

606
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 1: on the receiving end to like kind of work through

607
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 1: it as well.

608
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 2: Yeah great advice. Yeah that's awesome. And what's your journaling

609
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 2: practice now? Like are you like are you journaling every

610
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: single day for five minutes? How do you how do

611
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 2: you keep up with it?

612
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 6: My journal every single day before I go to bed,

613
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 6: I write everything out exactly what I did from the

614
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 6: beginning when I wake up in the morning till the

615
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 6: end of the day and I to put my kids

616
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 6: on the bed. I'm in my room and I see

617
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 6: I journal used the journal just using like a rail journal,

618
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 6: but now I would switch it to my own online

619
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 6: journal on my phone. And I do it all every

620
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 6: single day. And I've been doing it for since twenty

621
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 6: twenty and.

622
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 2: So I started doing too.

623
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 6: So I have a lot of I can make a

624
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 6: lot a lot of my thoughts and everything. I have

625
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 6: so many stories that I just write everything down with

626
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 6: everything exactly what happens, because I have eighty AHD so bad,

627
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 6: So I write out everything like exactly, so like if

628
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 6: I forget, I'm like, oh, I look back by j

629
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 6: and I'm like, oh, that's what I did that day.

630
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, no, I I complete. It's so helpful especially Yeah,

631
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 2: great great practice. Well Tika too. Thank you so much

632
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 2: for calling in giving your perspective.

633
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 6: Yes see you want to say hi, say hi, Hi.

634
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:30,959
Speaker 6: He's saying hi.

635
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 3: He said he was talking.

636
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 6: He wants to talk to.

637
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 3: His grandpa, but never mind, he wants talked. Oh, John,

638
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 3: there you go.

639
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 7: You know what, great joke. And Sam, dude, that's my

640
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 7: buddy right there. Shoulda talk to you about it, talking

641
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 7: to you. Have a great rece of your night.

642
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 2: You too.

643
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 6: I want keep watching the stream.

644
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 2: Seeing this later ticket to Oh it's a good yeah, Bartika, Bartica.

645
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 2: Oh cool, this is my new favorite segment.

646
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: This is really, really really, this is great. This is great,

647
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: one of the best editions of the show ever.

648
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 2: I love this. I love this so much. Yeah, Casper

649
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 2: so said the joke straight to the jugular. Artika came prepared. Dude,

650
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 2: We've done so many you know, someone's a fan. Yeah, yeah,

651
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 2: they could not only do they know the joke. They're

652
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 2: not afraid that they have such a good relationships. They

653
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 2: just go. They're not afraid. You love it. They can

654
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 2: weird power heck you. But shall we get to this

655
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 2: next story, which sovia eas you want to read, Yes,

656
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 2: that is four twenty or five twenty one S three yea,

657
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 2: it's a longie. Also, just so you know, five twenty

658
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 2: one that is five hundred and twenty one episodes.

659
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: Which also, by the way, we restarted our naming structure.

660
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, at like at like like five hundred on the

661
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 2: other one, what do we get to I think, yeah,

662
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 2: around five. Yeah that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy, but you

663
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 2: know it's crazy.

664
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 3: The story, let's story. Am I the a hole for

665
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 3: threatening to divorce my husband if he doesn't tell his

666
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 3: parents we're married?

667
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 6: So?

668
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: Oh wow? I mean, why wouldn't you tell your parents

669
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 2: that you're married?

670
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 3: Why is it a secret?

671
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 2: Yeah? I want to know that.

672
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 3: So Jelly Frosty fifty seven zero seven says, you read

673
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 3: that right. My twenty two female husband twenty two male

674
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 3: and I have been married for three years now young

675
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: to summon up?

676
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 2: Now, who we are married in nineteen Okay, that means

677
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 2: we were dating at eighteen got married? Wow?

678
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 3: Yeah to summon up, we were both young, dumb and

679
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 3: going to enlist in the military. Yeah. That happens a

680
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 3: lot when people enlist in the military because you can

681
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 3: stay together if you marry.

682
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 2: Oh, people get married when they go to that's kind

683
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 2: of lip. You get to travel well and get married

684
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:14,439
Speaker 2: and you get to be super fit and fight. Yeah sure, righty.

685
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 2: Do you know anyone that did that back home?

686
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 4: Yeah? But like they're not good people, low key sometimes

687
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 4: I was.

688
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 3: Just gonna say, it's not the best situation like they.

689
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 2: Love that.

690
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,360
Speaker 3: We were both going to keep it a secret at

691
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 3: first and reap oh wait sorry, and listen to the

692
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 3: military to get out of our small towns. So we

693
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 3: eloped to the courthouse. We were both going to keep

694
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 3: it a secret at first and reap the benefits from

695
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 3: the military, see how our relationship went, and go from there.

696
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 3: Ended up not enlisting in the military. So I told

697
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,760
Speaker 3: my parents we eloped a few months after. He never

698
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:54,879
Speaker 3: told his parents, and I've been asking him to tell them.

699
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 3: They don't have a good relationship when we got married,

700
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 3: and oh, they didn't have a good relationship when we

701
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 3: got married, and that is why he didn't tell them.

702
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 3: I gave him an ultimatum this past week that he

703
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 3: has to tell them by the end of the week

704
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 3: or I'm divorcing him because he's crossing a boundary. I

705
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 3: have discussed with him multiple times over the past year.

706
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,720
Speaker 3: I'm uncomfortable with them not knowing, and I honestly feel

707
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 3: like he's not mature enough to be in a marriage

708
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,800
Speaker 3: if he can't man up to tell.

709
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,439
Speaker 2: Them, that's such a big secret to keep.

710
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're not ready for a marriage if you can't

711
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:32,879
Speaker 3: help tell me. Yeah. He says he's scared to hurt them,

712
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 3: and I countered that he needs to get over with it,

713
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 3: and that it's also hurting me. His parents love me,

714
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 3: by the way, and I'm very tempted to tell them myself,

715
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 3: but he always stops me. Well, I gave him the ultimatum,

716
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 3: and he immediately became defensive. Told me that if I

717
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 3: didn't want to be married to him, that he would

718
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 3: return to the wedding set he just upgraded for me. Oh,

719
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 3: he would return the wedding set he just upgraded for me.

720
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 3: The wedding set like the stuff that they bought. You know,

721
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 3: wedding set could be like weight store.

722
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 2: So it's like, if you if you keep going like this,

723
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 2: I'm not going to give you a plate.

724
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 3: I don't know what the wedding set is more like.

725
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:19,399
Speaker 2: Find I was thinking of, like, was like a set

726
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 2: of plates I'm not going to give.

727
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 3: He told me I was being an a hole for

728
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 3: pressuring him when he wasn't ready. I told him, well,

729
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 3: if you weren't ready, then you should got married. Yeah,

730
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 3: I told him that I wasn't saying that at all.

731
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,279
Speaker 3: I'm just tired of him not being an adult, which

732
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 3: makes me question our relationship. I love him, but it's

733
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 3: screaming red flags and I know I'm young enough that

734
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 3: it won't ruin my life if we Course, my parents

735
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 3: have a big issue with him keeping in a secret

736
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 3: to and have brought it up to him. The reason

737
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 3: I haven't already went home is because I live on

738
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 3: the other side of the country, away from both our

739
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,320
Speaker 3: families and we have pets. However, he knows if he

740
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 3: does not tell them by this Sunday that I will

741
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: be making plans to move once my summer semester ends.

742
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 3: So am I the a hole for threatening to divorce

743
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 3: my husband because he won't tell his parents were married?

744
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 3: And there is some additional information.

745
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 2: And ooh an update, ooh yeah, I feel like there's

746
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 2: some missing information because it's not like, oh, it's like

747
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 2: a potentially dangerous or similar kind of scenario to tell

748
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 2: them they know each other and like love the daughter

749
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,879
Speaker 2: in law. I want to know his reasons, I think,

750
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 2: what So in the first story of this story set,

751
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 2: what happened was we are like, well, we should know

752
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,439
Speaker 2: the reasons. We should know the reasons like why are

753
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 2: why does she feel like she wants to leave the relationship,

754
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 2: And I think similarly here, why does he not want

755
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 2: to tell his parents? We don't have the reasons. Are

756
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 2: the reasons, like he will be ostracized for him with

757
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 2: his family? Are the reasons that he will like be

758
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 2: cut off? Or like what are his reasons for not

759
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:03,399
Speaker 2: saying I understand, Like usually I'm not an ultimatum guy,

760
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 2: but I understand, like, you.

761
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 3: Should tell people about our marriage.

762
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I understand.

763
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,840
Speaker 3: Like like if you were in a relationship and you

764
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 3: would already officially said like, oh, we're dating, I want

765
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 3: to be your boyfriend, they were like, but I'm not

766
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 3: going to tell anyone.

767
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 2: Our little secret will make it hotter secret.

768
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 3: Also, don't be seen with me.

769
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 2: Run away. Yeah, I think that we should. There's two

770
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 2: things that should happen. One, up should understand the reasons

771
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 2: that he doesn't want to tell his parents, And two,

772
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 2: if the reasons are dumb, then I think the ultimatum

773
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 2: should stand.

774
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 1: It's just it's very odd to me that the parents

775
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 1: already have a relationship with the don It would make

776
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,399
Speaker 1: a lot more sense if it was like they've they've

777
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 1: never met.

778
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 2: There's there there's some big limit. But I don't know.

779
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 2: I think he has no courage.

780
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 3: He's a coward.

781
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:02,879
Speaker 2: I think he's a coward.

782
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 3: Let's get into some of this additional information.

783
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the additional for us.

784
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 3: Oh, he says. I didn't tell him to man up

785
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 3: in our conversation. It's just a phrase I used in

786
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,399
Speaker 3: my post. Believe it or not. I do love him,

787
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 3: and I was actually very gentle with our conversation when

788
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,280
Speaker 3: we had it word for word. I said, hey, babe,

789
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 3: you know I've had an issue with your parents not

790
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 3: knowing we're married. I love you very much, but at

791
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 3: this point I feel like you're ashamed of me, and

792
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 3: I'm confused. I have given you multiple chances and have

793
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 3: decided if you don't tell them by the end of

794
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,919
Speaker 3: the week, I'm going to make plans to move back

795
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,760
Speaker 3: home at the end of my summer semester.

796
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 2: But why, I want to know why.

797
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 3: How is this conversation prompted I received my new wedding set,

798
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 3: which you promised to send a pick to his parents

799
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 3: to finally tell them, and never did. I have brought

800
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,919
Speaker 3: up my feelings multiple times over the past year about

801
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 3: this specific situation because I do want our relationship to

802
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 3: work and to resolve this I'm not. Oh, I am

803
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 3: tired of not being heard. I however, know now that

804
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 3: threatening to divorce makes it seem like I want to

805
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,839
Speaker 3: get out of the marriage versus working on it. And

806
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 3: there are some more relevant comments.

807
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 2: We still don't know.

808
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe maybe there's more information in the relevant comments.

809
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 2: That's ridiculous.

810
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 1: I want to know why there was no additional information

811
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: in this additional information.

812
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:18,720
Speaker 2: I know this was vapid.

813
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, let's get into these relevant cords because I

814
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 3: need I need more information too. Actual clue thirty one

815
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,839
Speaker 3: to sixty five says, not the a whole. You're not

816
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 3: press pressuring him into marriage. I don't see why it's

817
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 3: such a huge deal for him to tell his parents

818
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,399
Speaker 3: when he's had three years to sit on it. Why

819
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 3: is it such a big deal? But we need to know,

820
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 3: Opie says. I don't know why it's a big deal either,

821
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 3: which is making me more concerned. His parents love our

822
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 3: relationship and have told me many times privately how supportive

823
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 3: of us they are, and they're not intimidating whatsoever, and

824
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 3: they love him so much.

825
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 2: Ask him why, Ask him why? Ask him why?

826
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 3: Opie on if her husband is in the military or

827
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 3: school and if divorce will impact their life and degree.

828
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 3: Opie says he's neither. We decided not to enlist for

829
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 3: him to go to college, and he graduated last year.

830
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 3: That's why we live across the country. He works at

831
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 3: a lab in California.

832
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 6: Now.

833
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 3: I'm currently still in college working on my bachelor's degree, though,

834
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 3: and it will be I don't know. I was in

835
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 3: fat I don't know, it will be less, it will

836
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 3: be I was in foster care. So I have a

837
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 3: full ride scholarship that also plays for any necessities I need.

838
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 3: I'm doing fully online college at the moment to pre

839
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 3: Rex to get pre Rex finished. I have a job too,

840
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 3: and have remained financially independent just because I was brought

841
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 3: up that way, so I'm not too concerned about it.

842
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 3: The main thing is our pets, but I don't want

843
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 3: to separate if I don't have to. There is one

844
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:49,759
Speaker 3: final relevant comment before the update, obi Ope on if

845
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 3: hers and her husband's extended family knows that they are married.

846
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 3: Opie says, my whole side of the family knows. All

847
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 3: of his friends know, and one of his cousins knows.

848
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure is mom knows. Two but we don't

849
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 3: really keep in contact with her because of her lifestyle addiction.

850
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 3: He just hasn't told his dad or stepmom, the ones

851
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 3: who raised him. But his relationship with his dad is weird.

852
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 3: I was fine with that at first because I knew

853
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 3: his dad was an alcoholic and they had a pretty

854
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 3: bad relationship when we decided to get married. He's afraid

855
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 3: of his dad maybe, as in they didn't communicate. His

856
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 3: dad was out drinking and he was home alone. That's

857
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 3: how his whole upbringing was Opis at first said that

858
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 3: they were like super loving, which I mean, maybe they

859
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 3: are going to.

860
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 2: Mixed signals here. Piggy de Slayer says, this is smellie.

861
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 2: Christy Steele says, is your husband already married to someone else?

862
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 2: That would have come? His friends know everyone else does

863
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 2: except the parents only and then but what if the

864
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 2: other person only the parents know that? No, but they

865
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 2: know about the relationship. Parents know about the relationship, Yeah,

866
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 2: but they don't.

867
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 3: Married. I do want to and feel it's unfair that

868
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 3: I didn't add to my posts that my husband worked

869
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 3: really hard through college and has not taken the same

870
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 3: path as his two parents. He struggles with communicating his

871
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 3: emotions but outside of that, he's really great. He's supportive,

872
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 3: helps around the house, believes in me. I feel like

873
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 3: an a hole for not adding that to my post tbh,

874
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 3: because it allows room for people to see him as

875
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 3: a bad guy. However, I started having an issue with

876
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,359
Speaker 3: them not knowing for the past year because his dad

877
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 3: and him have a much better relationship now. We spend

878
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 3: every holiday with them. He talks to him all the time,

879
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 3: et cetera. And he's not an alcoholic anymore. The relationship

880
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 3: has been better for two years. I know that doesn't

881
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 3: redeem his dad beat dum. My parents talk it up

882
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 3: to him being afraid to tell his dad because his

883
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 3: dad possibly abused him, though my husband has said his

884
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 3: dad was a great dad. Well he should just just

885
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 3: a drunk.

886
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 2: But you should, we should understand, We should, we should,

887
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 2: you need to talk with you should ask him. It

888
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 2: feels like everyone's like making all these jectured about why

889
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,399
Speaker 2: but why I just ask, Just ask him, just ask.

890
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:07,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, never said he physically abused him, but I believe

891
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 3: his dad was very neglectful, which is abuse, because that's

892
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 3: the only thing that could make sense rather than him

893
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 3: just being scared slash immature. My parents do love my

894
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 3: husband and are just as confused as I am. I

895
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:21,359
Speaker 3: really think he feels like it's an awkward time frame

896
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,240
Speaker 3: now to tell them. However, he's an adult and needs

897
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 3: to own up to it, especially knowing I've had an

898
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 3: issue with it over a year.

899
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 2: And what's all the alternative? You wait, like ten years.

900
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 3: And our ten year university.

901
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you go to your parents' death bed, Mom, dad,

902
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 2: I'm married Mary, and they're like we knew. I mean,

903
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,240
Speaker 2: like he goes with his girlfriend, like they have kids together,

904
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 2: and you gotta know they got it.

905
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, well she has a wedding seton.

906
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 2: That's what I'm sad. I gotta know you gotta hide it?

907
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,720
Speaker 2: Does he tell always hands in the pockets? Yeah, exactly.

908
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,399
Speaker 3: It's hard because I try to justify his actions based

909
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 3: on his past. But I know if I do that,

910
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 3: I'll let this slide, which I don't need to do

911
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,800
Speaker 3: any longer. And there is an update.

912
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 2: Okay, so TLDR basically OP is getting has been married

913
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 2: to this guy who they went into the military, and

914
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 2: this guy after three years, has not told his parents

915
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 2: that he is married to OPI yeah, and opis like,

916
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 2: it makes you uncomfortable that you won't tell your parents.

917
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

918
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,800
Speaker 4: Also, Sam had a really good point earlier.

919
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 2: Would you like to share?

920
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 3: No? No, no, no, that could.

921
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 2: Be another reason. No, that could be another reason for

922
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 2: all our audi huh that she's staying.

923
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:50,760
Speaker 1: Oh, I see, tell us what update update?

924
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 3: So I will begin with the update and then provide clarification.

925
00:45:56,840 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 3: I told his parents today and they whoa. I told

926
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 3: his parents today. Who Oh.

927
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: He just said, Oh, she's like, I am taking this,

928
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 2: but it's a red flag that he won't do it.

929
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 2: I feel like this doesn't resolve the underlying issue.

930
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they confirmed that they have known since twenty

931
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:13,879
Speaker 3: twenty one.

932
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 2: Oh, well, so what day? What is the issue here?

933
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 3: They had a hunch and found the marriage license slash

934
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 3: deed online. They have been waiting for us to tell them,

935
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 3: and we were just wanting a valid reason, and we're

936
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 3: just wanting a valid reason. No, my husband did not

937
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 3: tell them.

938
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 2: I told them, dude, he's a little little bitch boy.

939
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 3: Hey, he's a little witch boy.

940
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 2: He's a witch boy, and he's gone too far. And

941
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 2: I know it don't matter anyway.

942
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 3: Our relationship is up in the air right now. Both

943
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 3: of our parents know what is going on, and we

944
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 3: are trying to figure out how to move forward, whether

945
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 3: that be attending therapy together, one of us moving back

946
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:03,399
Speaker 3: to North Carolina, or both of us moving back home.

947
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 3: We are actively communicating on our future and whether the

948
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 3: future will be together or not. And some clarification.

949
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 2: It's a red like he never did the thing. It's

950
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 2: a red flag he has zero.

951
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:16,840
Speaker 3: Courage, like you didn't solve anything.

952
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,240
Speaker 2: Really all we said this on the Streamlin yesterday. All

953
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 2: all the most important values like are the core value

954
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 2: is courage too? To have any other value like truth

955
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,719
Speaker 2: or like like honesty or I don't know, yeah, other

956
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 2: one gotta have courage.

957
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 3: You've like you've pulled the the top part of the

958
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 3: weed out, but you didn't get.

959
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 2: The root, didn't get the rule, just trimmed the least. Yeah,

960
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 2: we're having a plant party today. Yeah, and all of

961
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 2: our metaphors will be planned for later. That is true.

962
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:52,879
Speaker 3: But here are some clarifications. No, we did not enlist. Yes,

963
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 3: we were in love. Oh, or we decided to enlist

964
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 3: six months into our relationship and felt there was no

965
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,760
Speaker 3: point in wait to get hitched because we could benefit

966
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 3: from it as well. It wasn't like the movie Purple

967
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 3: hearts lol.

968
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 2: Aramece's husband didn't want to tell them because he grew

969
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 2: up at the sawmill.

970
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 3: We were in a relationship before enlisting and thought it

971
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 3: would get us out of our small town quickly. His

972
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 3: mother struggles with addiction. His father was an alcoholic, and

973
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 3: his stepmom raped him. He and his stepmom have always

974
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 3: been extremely close. His father did not abuse him physically,

975
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 3: was just absent because he wasn't working. If he wasn't working,

976
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 3: he was drinking. The relationship was bad in terms of

977
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:36,240
Speaker 3: not communicating with each other and his dad emotionally neglecting

978
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,439
Speaker 3: him by not being there. They communicate a lot better

979
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 3: now and on a daily basis. We spend the holidays

980
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 3: with them, all with them all the time, and they

981
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 3: call often. They made up To add to this, both

982
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,399
Speaker 3: of my parents were addicts, which is why I went

983
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 3: into foster care and was adopted by my now parents,

984
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 3: who I refer to in my last post as knowing

985
00:48:55,840 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 3: I completely understand the struggles and complications of addiction. Issue

986
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,799
Speaker 3: is his lack of communicating in general. I understand now

987
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 3: that an ultimatum is not the best way to go

988
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 3: about things when you want to make the relationship work.

989
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 3: I let my emotions control me and gave him a

990
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,919
Speaker 3: harsh ultimatum. I am not sure if it will work out, though.

991
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 3: This is the hardest thing I've dealt with in my

992
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 3: mere twenty two years. Both of our parents are supportive

993
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 3: if we choose to stay together or separate. They want

994
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 3: us to make it work, but there are no hard

995
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,280
Speaker 3: feelings if it doesn't, they are offering as much support

996
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 3: as possible. My main issue is I'm still the only

997
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 3: one communicating, which is why I'm hesitant to continue the relationship.

998
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 3: Even though I love him.

999
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 2: He's not communicating. What do you think? All right, you're

1000
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 2: twenty two, right, this is the first thing that you've

1001
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 2: ever had that is a problem that you're dealing with.

1002
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 2: Things get harder if you are not communicating, and you

1003
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 2: make it a habit of not communicating, your marriage is

1004
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 2: going to suck. It's going to fail, It's going to

1005
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 2: crash and burn, and you are going to be looking

1006
00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 2: back at this Reddit post and being like, why did

1007
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 2: I not leave?

1008
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, harsh words from sam from Samuel I did come

1009
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,240
Speaker 3: off as pressuring, and I realize that now one reason

1010
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 3: I'm having a rough time trusting him is due to

1011
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 3: finding out he was messaging only fans models.

1012
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 2: Oh, and there's the lead. We have buried the lead

1013
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 2: here it is Oh my god.

1014
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 1: He was busy introducing his parents of the That's why

1015
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: he couldn't revealed over the course.

1016
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 3: Of the past year. And his reasoning was we were

1017
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 3: having problems which you created. Uh, that wasn't said. I

1018
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 3: was saying that about taking.

1019
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 1: We were taking a break. In my mind, it was

1020
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:43,840
Speaker 1: my own. I didn't communicate anything which I wasn't aware of.

1021
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:45,839
Speaker 1: I didn't want to include it in the last post

1022
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to seem like a complete idiot

1023
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: and make it fair on his image since he isn't

1024
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,880
Speaker 1: on Reddit to give his side of the story. No,

1025
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: he doesn't know about the Reddit posts because he broke

1026
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 1: his phone during our argument yesterday. No, I wasn't yelling

1027
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: your neither was he. How did he?

1028
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:03,320
Speaker 3: That's concerned?

1029
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's uh.

1030
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 3: And there are two relevant comments to finish this off.

1031
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 3: Ocean Breeze one two three says you did the right things.

1032
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 3: Did he ever tell anyone you two were married? Has

1033
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:18,400
Speaker 3: he kept it a secret from everyone for years? If so? Yeah,

1034
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 3: reading comprehension, you guys always get on that but what

1035
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 3: about these redditors. Yeah, that, along with the only fan,

1036
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 3: seems like he wants to be single. This must be

1037
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 3: so hard. I'm so sorry, Opie. An Opie response. He

1038
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 3: told everyone, including his coworkers' friends and cousins that were married,

1039
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 3: which made it confusing for your empathy.

1040
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 2: He's afraid of his dad, for sure, but uh, yeah,

1041
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 2: I want to know. I want to know from y'all, Like,

1042
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 2: what are your thoughts on why he didn't tell his

1043
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:50,879
Speaker 2: parents because we still don't know, so I want your

1044
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 2: conspiracy theories. Dea Riley on Discord