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Speaker 1: Welcome one and all to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Before

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Speaker 1: we begin today's episode, we want to remind you that

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Speaker 1: the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those

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Speaker 1: of the host and guests and are intended for educational

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Speaker 1: and entertaining purposes. In this safe space, no question is

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Speaker 1: off limits because you never know how someone's storyline can

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Speaker 1: be your lifeline. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is here to

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Speaker 1: celebrate the diverse voices, stories and experiences of women of color,

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Speaker 1: providing a platform for authentic and empowering conversations. There will

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Speaker 1: be some key king, some tears, but most importantly a

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Speaker 1: reminder that tough times don't last, but professional Homegirls do

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Speaker 1: enjoy the show.

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Speaker 2: This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener discretion is a viz

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Speaker 2: Hey Professional Homegirls ishagarra Ebine here and I hope all

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Speaker 2: is cute now. On this week's episode of the Professional

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Speaker 2: Homegirl Podcast, my guest opens up about her journey with

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Speaker 2: being promiscuous at a very young age. She opens up

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Speaker 2: about how her upbringing shaped her choices, including a pivotal

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Speaker 2: incident that changed her life. We also dive into the

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Speaker 2: important conversations about sexual health, the impact of STDs, and

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Speaker 2: HIV within our community, and how her experiences inspire her

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Speaker 2: to become a therapist, helping others whose stories are similar

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Speaker 2: to her own. So her story is rall, y'all, it

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Speaker 2: is inspiring. I really had such an amazing time kee

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Speaker 2: king with her. But most importantly, her story is a

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Speaker 2: reminder that growth is possible no matter where you start.

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Speaker 2: So get ready because my journey where promiscuity starts now.

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Speaker 2: But to my guests, thank you so much for being

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Speaker 2: on the show. How you doing, How you feeling. I'm good,

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Speaker 2: I'm excited. I am excited to me.

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Speaker 3: Too, you know.

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Speaker 2: I well, I haven't met my guy, but I was

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Speaker 2: introduced to my guests by a really informative series. I

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Speaker 2: think it's called Risky Dinners Conversations, and it's a platform

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Speaker 2: and I'm paraphrasing, but it's a platform where women of

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Speaker 2: color come together and they talk about how HIV is

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Speaker 2: affecting our community, especially Black women. And the reason why

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Speaker 2: I want you to be on the show because for

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Speaker 2: one year story really resonated with me because I feel

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Speaker 2: like we're from similar backgrounds, but I also feel like

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Speaker 2: we're not having a lot of candid conversations about our

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Speaker 2: sexual health and our sexual.

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Speaker 3: Options, you know, the things of that nature.

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Speaker 2: So was this your first time like sharing your story

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Speaker 2: so openly, And if it's so, what made you want

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Speaker 2: to share it?

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Speaker 4: Then?

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Speaker 5: You know what, It's not my first time being candid about,

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Speaker 5: you know, my upbringing, the things I've done as a

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Speaker 5: young woman, and just all the things I've learned from

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Speaker 5: not just experiences, but from you know, failures, and just

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Speaker 5: some of the things that I did without the right guidance,

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Speaker 5: and just some of the things that I didn't listen

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Speaker 5: to when it came to my elders and I just

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Speaker 5: wanted to run with a different crowd, and I, you know,

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Speaker 5: just didn't. I didn't have the good sense that God

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Speaker 5: had given me. So I really just thought I knew

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Speaker 5: it all. And unfortunately I see it so much now

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Speaker 5: with you know a lot of our young people, just

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Speaker 5: how they are moving. It's even worse times ten compared

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Speaker 5: to when I was coming up. But I really didn't

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Speaker 5: listen to the things that my mother, you know, the

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Speaker 5: women of wisdom in my life gave to me, and

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Speaker 5: I learned the hard way, right and so and I'm

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Speaker 5: recognizing that, you know, when we speak and we share

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Speaker 5: some of our struggles and some of the things that

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Speaker 5: we've experienced and some of the things that we fail

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Speaker 5: that when we share that with younger women, it opens

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Speaker 5: the doors because we really want you to be able

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Speaker 5: to navigate passes things that we bad.

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Speaker 4: You see what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: And so when we share, like, yeah, I fucked up

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Speaker 2: in that area, right, a whole lot of mistakes, and

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Speaker 2: I don't want you guys to make the same mistakes.

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Speaker 4: So I always share, you know, as much as I can,

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Speaker 4: and try to be as.

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Speaker 5: Vulnerable and transparent as possible because it's important, you know

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Speaker 5: what I mean.

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Speaker 2: And I also feel like when you're being real and

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Speaker 2: raw about like real shit, I feel like people gravitate

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Speaker 2: towards that type of truth, like you can feel when

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Speaker 2: energy is real.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, for real, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's the reason why certain people are

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Speaker 2: able to connect with different generations because of how they

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Speaker 2: you know, they dish it out like this is this

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Speaker 2: is real life. Like I'm not gonna shugarcoat anything because

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Speaker 2: this we'l ain't gonna.

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Speaker 3: Shoot coat shit. So I'm gonna give it to you

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Speaker 3: straight up.

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Speaker 4: We'll drag you through the mud. Babes snatch your edges.

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Speaker 5: Off, and you know, and that's the whole thing that

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Speaker 5: I learned the worst from trialing Era.

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Speaker 4: Instead of listening.

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Speaker 5: I literally made a lot of mistakes through trialing Era,

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Speaker 5: just not listening, like I said, and just doing a

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Speaker 5: lot of things that my family.

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Speaker 2: Had told me was stupid as hell, you know, And

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Speaker 2: I literally, you know, just I'm talking about across a

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Speaker 2: gamut from not going right away to college, from you know,

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Speaker 2: dating the wrong me, and from not listening.

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Speaker 5: Well, my mother told me to go to HBCU. The

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Speaker 5: first year I went, I went away to Western.

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Speaker 4: That was a disaster. Wow, what happened?

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Speaker 5: It was just I didn't visit coming from Chicago going

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Speaker 5: to Western at that time, of course was so many

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Speaker 5: years ago, but it was literally in the middle of

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Speaker 5: a cornfield, and so it just didn't resonate with me

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Speaker 5: to get what I'm saying, and so it was just

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Speaker 5: way too slow. It just wasn't my cup of teeth.

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Speaker 5: So I failed, you know what I'm saying. I really

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Speaker 5: like my first year I did horrible. So like I

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Speaker 5: remember meeting a woman about my age at that time

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Speaker 5: who told me she was a alumni of Howard and

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Speaker 5: she's like, you know, you should check that out.

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Speaker 4: You should just apply. But no one had ever talked

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Speaker 4: to me like that. Girl.

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Speaker 5: I applied and got accepted, and I was out of

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Speaker 5: here on the first thing.

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Speaker 2: Smoking you know, I had Howard was my first choice,

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Speaker 2: but I'm way too late because I had to, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, you have to write like a big, long

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Speaker 2: ast essay, and I'm like, I ain't got time for that.

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Speaker 2: So I ended up going to Tennessee State, which I'm

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Speaker 2: so proud and so thankful to be a part of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, of that community.

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Speaker 4: It's all love. It's all love. All of it is

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Speaker 4: all love.

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Speaker 2: Just so somewhere exactly somewhere HBCU. But how was your

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Speaker 2: experience at Howard amazing?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it was, I you know, yeah, it was one

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Speaker 5: of my better experiences in life, and that was one

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Speaker 5: of my top five.

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Speaker 4: Same.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we're gonna get back on subject, but I

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Speaker 2: always tell people that they should definitely support HBCUs.

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Speaker 3: Like it has been heavy right hands down, one of

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Speaker 3: the best experience of my life as well.

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Speaker 4: When you say that.

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Speaker 2: It prepared you for just kind of the things that

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Speaker 2: are everything, Yeah, it made me stronger as a black woman.

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Speaker 5: Not just as a woman, but as a black woman.

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Speaker 5: I feel very confident when.

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Speaker 4: I sit in room, look like me.

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Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying, I'm not afraid to be

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Speaker 5: who I am. And I'm noticing, you know a lot

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Speaker 5: of our women unfortunately.

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Speaker 4: Try to fit in, and we don't have to. We

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Speaker 4: are We're.

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Speaker 2: To see right, we are who we are, So we

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Speaker 2: bring the vibe, we bring the energy.

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Speaker 5: We're different. You know, we're just so multi faceted that

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Speaker 5: you know, we don't have to try to fit in.

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Speaker 5: We are at the table.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know that's so fun because I

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Speaker 2: did a panel about my experience at HBCUs and that's

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Speaker 2: the exact same thing I said. I'm like, going to

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Speaker 2: Tennessee State gave me my confidence. It is also taught

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Speaker 2: me about womanhood.

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Speaker 4: Yes, girl, thess thing.

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Speaker 5: It just taught me so many different things about life.

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Speaker 5: It's about unity, stive, you know, love just you know, the.

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Speaker 2: Love of black unity. That's the culture of who we are.

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Speaker 5: And it just made me really respected on so many levels.

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Speaker 4: And it was just it was just it was just girl,

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Speaker 4: it was a vibe. It was it was yes, ma'am.

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Speaker 4: And I'm sure it was the same thing for you.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, listen, I can talk about my love for

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Speaker 2: Tennessee State all day and every day, like I'm actually

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Speaker 2: in the works of doing something with them. But like

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Speaker 2: his down, like I said, that has been the best

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Speaker 2: decision I have ever made, and toil this day.

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Speaker 3: I have a really good relationship with all my college.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm actually going home to support one of my

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Speaker 2: college's best friends because she's getting recognized forty on the forty.

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Speaker 4: So oh that's what's up so high.

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Speaker 2: I'm all about HBCU. So however, I can support somebody

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Speaker 2: that's going to HBCU.

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Speaker 3: I'm all in.

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Speaker 4: You got to, you got to.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Now, when was the first time you heard the

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Speaker 2: word promiscuous and what did you think about it then?

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like when I was growing up, like

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Speaker 2: everybody thought I was going to be the fast one

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Speaker 2: that's the neck because I was talk to all the

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Speaker 2: boys and stuff, and.

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Speaker 3: I felt like it was kind of like pushed on

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Speaker 3: me in a sense.

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Speaker 5: I can't honestly say I didn't really recognize what it

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Speaker 5: was until I.

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Speaker 4: Was maybe eighteen.

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Speaker 5: But prior to that, I was already that you see

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Speaker 5: what I'm saying, Like I was already you know, having sex.

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Speaker 4: I was already like going with different mean you lose

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Speaker 4: your virginity when I was thirteen.

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Speaker 3: Wow, okay, okay, you're like, oh.

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Speaker 5: Wow, girl, I was thirteen years old.

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Speaker 4: The love of my life. His name was Rico, girl,

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Speaker 4: Rico baby. Yes, girl.

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Speaker 2: I thought he was just the best thing smoking and

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Speaker 2: he was in.

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Speaker 4: My eyes you know.

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Speaker 3: They always all right, girl, that was my first love.

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Speaker 4: That was my ride that I just thought that I

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Speaker 4: just I was going just I couldn't make it without him. Girl.

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Speaker 3: This was crazy that my first love, yuy g, I.

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Speaker 4: Just he just nothing.

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Speaker 2: Nobody could tell me nothing about him, right, And and

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Speaker 2: so sixteen, So thirteen through sixteen, I hide.

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Speaker 4: It was just kind of him and I like at

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Speaker 4: that time.

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Speaker 2: And so at fifteen, yeah, right, girl, listen, I had

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Speaker 2: a friend that but I'm gonna I'm really share this

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Speaker 2: because this is I just really recognized this therapy myself

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Speaker 2: that I at fifteen trusted a friend who was the

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Speaker 2: best friend who lived on my block, got in a

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Speaker 2: car with her and two guys and we ended up

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Speaker 2: going to his house or one of his friend's house

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Speaker 2: homes or something of that sort.

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Speaker 4: Got raped.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, how old were.

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Speaker 5: You sixteen, fifteen and a half going into sixteen girls?

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Speaker 4: Slip? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah?

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Speaker 3: Wait? Was this was this your homegirls? People?

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Speaker 4: This was her people, Okay?

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Speaker 5: And she laid in the next room with the guy

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Speaker 5: she was with like she didn't hear anything.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, man, And.

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Speaker 2: You know what's so crazy, like for real, for real,

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Speaker 2: I'll be telling people like you be thinking to be niggas,

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Speaker 2: but it be these bitches out here.

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Speaker 5: They said she was a friend that I well, I

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Speaker 5: thought was a friend, but was really an enemy girl.

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Speaker 5: She laid in that room like she didn't hear shit

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Speaker 5: while I went through that situation, and it took me

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Speaker 5: when I say fifteen years, like I'm just at thirty

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Speaker 5: thirty five, like those years is when it hit me

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Speaker 5: because I got married and treated him like she didn't

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Speaker 5: didn't recognize that, like all of those things were coming up,

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Speaker 5: like you know, of my triggers and just.

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Speaker 4: You know, it was because from that from then on.

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Speaker 5: Sixteen all the way up until I got pregnant, which

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Speaker 5: was at nineteen, is when.

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Speaker 4: I changed my life when I had my daughter.

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Speaker 5: So I didn't recognize that I was promiscuous until my

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Speaker 5: aunt and my you know, my mother and I were like,

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Speaker 5: what's going.

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Speaker 3: On, elders right.

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Speaker 4: The eldest was like, you just running, rapping and crazy, gir.

250
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Speaker 4: I had lost my mind.

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Speaker 5: I was going with whoever I thought had the most money,

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Speaker 5: whoever I felt was.

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Speaker 4: Doing the best. I just lost it.

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Speaker 2: I just thought that that was I was just kind

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Speaker 2: of selling my soul for it the highest bidder.

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Speaker 4: That's how have us.

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Speaker 5: That's that's what I did, and I did that for years.

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Speaker 5: So girl, when I tell you, listen, the things.

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Speaker 2: That people are doing now is every It's just a

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Speaker 2: repeated cycle, that's all it is.

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Speaker 4: And that's why you know when I elder say, you

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Speaker 4: ain't doing.

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Speaker 2: Nothing no different than what we were doing, it's the truth.

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Speaker 2: It is honest, to God's true.

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Speaker 5: There is a fat and a consistent thing that's the

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Speaker 5: same that we were doing years ago.

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Speaker 2: Literally what happened afterwards when y'all did you ever confront

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Speaker 2: her like how did that situation? Because I just completely

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Speaker 2: I was so traumatized by that situation, so devastated, so hurt,

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Speaker 2: hated women, hated.

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Speaker 4: Friendship, eighty people that I just.

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Speaker 5: Wanted to shell and then I only the only thing

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Speaker 5: that made me happy was feeling like I was taking

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Speaker 5: from somebody's So when I would get with me and

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Speaker 5: it was like, you gotta pay for this, you gotta

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Speaker 5: do this, you got to you gotta buy.

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Speaker 4: Me that right, And that was the only thing that

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Speaker 4: fulfilled me. That was the sad part about it.

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Speaker 5: And I recognized that now twenty thirty years later, that

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Speaker 5: the enemy did that to me because who would have

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Speaker 5: known that I would be doing what I'm doing there

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Speaker 5: right right.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's why it's so important for us

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Speaker 2: to have these conversations, because I think that when I

285
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Speaker 2: was going to do a lot of ship, especially when

286
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Speaker 2: I was growing up, I'm thinking I'm the only one

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Speaker 2: that was going through it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, not even knowing that when you happy, but it'll

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Speaker 3: make you feel like you isolate you too.

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Speaker 5: So that's the part of the enemy. So the girl,

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Speaker 5: did you lose your mind? You don't tell anybody about it.

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Speaker 4: You feel isolated, you for rejecting.

293
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Speaker 5: You of shame, You don't want to share anything with anybody.

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Speaker 5: You feel like nobody has ever.

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Speaker 4: Experienced since you've experienced you know, the enemy will do

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Speaker 4: that to your mind. And he did that to me.

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Speaker 5: He made you feel like I was on this island

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Speaker 5: alone and that nobody could understand.

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Speaker 4: I didn't even talk.

300
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Speaker 5: To my mommb about it until I ended up going

301
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Speaker 5: After I graduated from Howard, I have my first undergrad

302
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Speaker 5: degree in social work, so I got hired at this

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Speaker 5: great crisis center. Now, you don't people, we delve into

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Speaker 5: this work thinking, Okay, shiz, I'm gonna do this because

305
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Speaker 5: I'm supposed to help somebody, But you got to get

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Speaker 5: to help yourself.

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Speaker 4: You see what I'm saying. And I didn't.

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Speaker 5: I just thinking, you know, I didn't went to school,

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Speaker 5: I didn't got these degrees.

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Speaker 4: I know what I'm doing. The girl I didn't know shit.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean? But also you, I would say,

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Speaker 2: also during that time, you probably don't even have the

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Speaker 2: knowledge in the verbus to even articulate the things that

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Speaker 2: you was experienced.

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Speaker 5: Right, And this is why I share with people to

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Speaker 5: this day the importance of things therapy and how and

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Speaker 5: the importance of recognizing that every therapist that you meet

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Speaker 5: is not gonna be the cookie cutter fit for you.

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Speaker 4: It's like you have to find your right hairstylace. Oh

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Speaker 4: that is I feel all with this one. You see

321
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Speaker 4: what I'm saying. You know we could go to you know,

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Speaker 4: we like a girl to do breaks.

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Speaker 2: We like a girl to do you know, late fronts,

324
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Speaker 2: we like a girl to do.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, ponytails, We like a girl

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Speaker 4: to do this. And it's the exact same way.

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Speaker 5: You have to have somebody that you know will understand.

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Speaker 5: It has to be the correct fit for you. And

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Speaker 5: I don't hear if you have to go to two, three,

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Speaker 5: four people, you have to make sure you get the

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Speaker 5: right fit, you know.

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Speaker 4: What I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's how it was when I was looking

334
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Speaker 2: for my therapists because the first time I had therapist,

335
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Speaker 2: she was a white woman.

336
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Speaker 3: And me and her just was not.

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Speaker 2: I was like, all ain't Molly, we ain't seeing now

338
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Speaker 2: that hour a lot of things. But then you end

339
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Speaker 2: up finding my own current therapist, Dina. Dina looked like us,

340
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Speaker 2: she from our neighborhood, like you know what I'm saying, like,

341
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Speaker 2: and she was able to understand what I was talking about.

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Speaker 2: And she also spoke my language, so she has tell

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Speaker 2: me a lot. So I definitely agree. Like I feel

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Speaker 2: like when you look for a therapist, it's like looking

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Speaker 2: for bra.

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Speaker 4: Real shit, right, It really is and people don't understand

347
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Speaker 4: the importance of it.

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Speaker 5: And see, here's the thing that I think that people

349
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:20,479
Speaker 5: get mixed with therapy is that there's this thought that

350
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Speaker 5: like it's supposed to just fix you.

351
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Speaker 4: No, it's not.

352
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:28,840
Speaker 2: It's really like a resources that's all it is.

353
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Speaker 4: It just helps you with that support system for people

354
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Speaker 4: like you or I that can't share certain things with people.

355
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Speaker 5: Right, there's certain things that when you're a public figure,

356
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 5: or if you are a principle, or if you are

357
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Speaker 5: you know, like in my field, like you know, being

358
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Speaker 5: the fact that I'm a therapist, I can't just share

359
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Speaker 5: with anybody, you know, some of my deepest, darkest things.

360
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Speaker 4: You get what I'm saying.

361
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Speaker 2: Right, because after a while, if it gets out, Oh

362
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Speaker 2: she'm professional, Oh she you know, she likes this.

363
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Speaker 4: You see what I'm saying.

364
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Speaker 2: So, even in the midst of me being transparent, there's

365
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Speaker 2: certain things you just can't just.

366
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Speaker 4: Devote, you know what I mean. Yeah.

367
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Speaker 2: Now, you also mentioned in your story that you had

368
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Speaker 2: sex with a lot of men. So were there any

369
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Speaker 2: moments that when you look.

370
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Speaker 3: Back and think, like, damn, like that shit could have

371
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Speaker 3: been a lot worse than what it was.

372
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Speaker 2: Hell, yeah, girl, Listen, I had because here's the thing.

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Speaker 5: When I look at women, you know, on Instagram or

374
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Speaker 5: just for social media, and you can tell people just

375
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,960
Speaker 5: when you don't know better, you do the worse, but

376
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,440
Speaker 5: when no better, you do better.

377
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Speaker 4: So I, you slept with multiple.

378
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Speaker 5: Men, had no sense of you know, worth about myself,

379
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,880
Speaker 5: about my body, about who I was as.

380
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Speaker 4: A woman, about my mental about where I was going

381
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Speaker 4: in life.

382
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Speaker 5: And so that's why I was able to deal with

383
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Speaker 5: the type of men that I dealt with, you know,

384
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 5: and a lot of times that we deal with who

385
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:02,680
Speaker 5: you are.

386
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 4: You don't think that you don't, but you do. You

387
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 4: deal with how you feel about yourself. So all the

388
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Speaker 4: little hood negroes that I had and who I thought

389
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Speaker 4: I was.

390
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 5: Doing some shit, girl, it was simply because I didn't

391
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:16,880
Speaker 5: have a sense.

392
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Speaker 4: Of myself, you know.

393
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Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, I thank God.

394
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Speaker 1: Girl.

395
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:27,440
Speaker 5: Listen when I tell you, I'm grateful that they say

396
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,200
Speaker 5: at that he covers babies and foods.

397
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:33,359
Speaker 4: I was for sure food this thing.

398
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 5: I was sleeping with all of these men with no protection, yeah,

399
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 5: no sense.

400
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 2: Of direction, just doing it and you know, and gaining nothing.

401
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 1: You know.

402
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 2: What's so crazy because when I was working on our

403
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,920
Speaker 2: conversation like, have you ever had a situation where nigga

404
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 2: didn't want to sleep with you because he knew he

405
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 2: had something, but he didn't want to give it to you.

406
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 2: And the reason why I asked that because I don't

407
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 2: know if I read said this with my listeners. But

408
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,160
Speaker 2: I had a homeboy who I was so cool with, right,

409
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 2: I want to give too much information away because I

410
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 2: don't want to be like, oh shit, and we was like,

411
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 2: that was my nigga, right, but that nigga would not

412
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 2: sleep with me.

413
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 3: And when I tell y'all, I was like trying to throw.

414
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:24,360
Speaker 4: It at him.

415
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 3: I was like, damn, like and I knew.

416
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,919
Speaker 2: The nigga wasn't it was come to find out that

417
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 2: Nigga had herpes and yo once so we ran into

418
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 2: each other years later, maybe like me for what I'm

419
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 2: talking about.

420
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 3: We used to get drunk listen to old school music.

421
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,640
Speaker 4: And he knew he had it, and he knew he had.

422
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 3: It and I was the aggressive guy.

423
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 2: And so years a couple of years later, maybe like

424
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,640
Speaker 2: a year or two ago, I saw him and he

425
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,640
Speaker 2: was just like Yo, Like I wish I could tell

426
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,959
Speaker 2: you at the time what I was going through and

427
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,959
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I said, you're good this and that,

428
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,440
Speaker 2: because I would never disclose somebody situation.

429
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 3: But I was like, you know what, thank you.

430
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 2: Lord, And I'm so glad that Nigga stopped me to

431
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 2: the point that he didn't do that to me. Man,

432
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 2: that's that's you know, and that's such a blessing.

433
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 5: Because they said I did not have that experience.

434
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 4: I had an experience.

435
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:19,360
Speaker 5: Where I contracted the STD, you know, not anything like that.

436
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:24,400
Speaker 5: But I did contracted STD from a male who had

437
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 5: not shared with me. You know what I'm saying, They

438
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 5: thank god, girl, I started itching a day later, what

439
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 5: the hell?

440
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 4: But you know, by the grace of God, like.

441
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 5: You know, in the midst of all of that, just

442
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 5: think like when I was sitting at that table talking

443
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,439
Speaker 5: about those risky conversations and the risky experiences and the

444
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 5: different things that I've experienced, I.

445
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,440
Speaker 4: Was just it just it was just it was full circle.

446
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 5: Like damn was really protected not knowing any better. People

447
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 5: can say because we see it on reality TV all

448
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 5: the time, and you.

449
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 4: Know, and all these different stars, you know, pretending like

450
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 4: this is the life. No it's not. When no better,

451
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 4: you do better.

452
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,879
Speaker 5: And that's just whether it being just any aspect of

453
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 5: your life.

454
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 2: This is you know a lot of people be lying,

455
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 2: which is already starting to come out. That's why I

456
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 2: be telling these my little young girls. I'm like, listen, stop,

457
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 2: what you see is not real.

458
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 4: And you don't know what these people doing behind the scenes.

459
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 3: Well what is selling ass?

460
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 4: Do you hear me?

461
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 3: Every people aren't selling ass out here?

462
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 5: Say ah, And you don't know, you know what these

463
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 5: people are doing behind the scenes where they are you

464
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,360
Speaker 5: don't know, you know, you don't know what abuse they're

465
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 5: taking from behind us.

466
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 4: You don't know how many dicks they doing. Because of that.

467
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 2: You don't know what people are doing to appear like

468
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 2: they got it together. I'd be telling my little young

469
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 2: host stop looking at these people now. I'm serious, because

470
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 2: I just feel like in this day is like when

471
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 2: I was growing up. Because I'm a few years younger

472
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 2: than you. So when I was growing up, like we

473
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 2: didn't have social media. Social media came out when I

474
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 2: was starting there in college and stuff. So the pressure

475
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 2: that these kids feel they need to like fit in

476
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: or do certain things, we didn't look like this going

477
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:22,919
Speaker 2: to prompt like.

478
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 4: No, we didn't.

479
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 3: These little bits just look grown.

480
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 4: And your mother pay for that shit.

481
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 3: I couldn't even get color in my hair.

482
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 2: I couldn't even were weave when I was growing up,

483
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 2: Like critics, it's just times are different, huge.

484
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 4: Do you hear me? And it's almost sad because it's like.

485
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 5: Damn, getting those babies the opportunity to grow up, you

486
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying, to be you know, young girls,

487
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 5: and to be okay with that, Like they look so grown.

488
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 5: I'm looking at some of them when they prompt and

489
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 5: just like this little girl like thirty, she looked.

490
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 2: Like our age and they don't even me started with

491
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 2: peberty because the food that that the kids are eating

492
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 2: out is completely different than what we eat.

493
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 4: Scary, they look like grown people. They walked past. You

494
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,360
Speaker 4: said that ain't the titties and the booty that these

495
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 4: babies got on on the food?

496
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 3: Listen something you trying to pull up on me? And

497
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 3: I have no makeup on, so I look even more younger.

498
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 4: Yeah he was.

499
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 2: That's I said, hold of you because he said something

500
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 2: and he was like, oh, I'm seventeen, nah, bro, I said, no.

501
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 4: He did, But that's the blessing because you do like y'all.

502
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 2: I mean, I look young now, but I haven't seen nah, baby,

503
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 2: like nah, we doing that.

504
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 4: We rabbed Nobody Cradle. But but that's a blessing that

505
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 4: you do look young. That a young guy would even think.

506
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 5: That he thought he was around his ass maybe a

507
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,360
Speaker 5: few years older, but he thought he was in his age, Ricky.

508
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 3: We're not doing that, baby, But why?

509
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 2: But why do you think people often struggle with having

510
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,959
Speaker 2: open conversations about STD tests and their status.

511
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 3: It's in sexual health because I feel like till this day,

512
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 3: like even when.

513
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 2: I have conversation with my homegirls, like cause I would

514
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 2: celebrate for four years and I just started backdating and stuff,

515
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 2: and like I'm always asking niggas, okay, so like what

516
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 2: you like to do.

517
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 3: With you into?

518
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 4: You got to ask those candy conversations?

519
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, I think nowadays, you know, women are

520
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 5: so open with sharing their bodies on TV and on

521
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 5: I mean not on TV, but just on social media,

522
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 5: and I think people are really comfortable with.

523
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,919
Speaker 4: Really having those candy conversations.

524
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 5: And I honestly think because they're not doing it at home,

525
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 5: so they don't feel comfortable with.

526
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 4: Sharing it with anybody.

527
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 5: It's like table, you know what I'm saying, and now

528
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 5: everything is kind of secretive where everybody's high and everything

529
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 5: is they're smoking mirrors with everything. Everybody is rich and

530
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 5: everybody is this, so people don't really the transparency is

531
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 5: no longer there you get what I'm saying. And I'm

532
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,959
Speaker 5: gonna tell you another thing, since like even when we're

533
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 5: out in public, like people are so awkward in person.

534
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 3: Because yeah, the pandemic did something.

535
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 4: Man guarded people.

536
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 2: They can't have conversations and here they can't go two

537
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: seconds without being on that phone.

538
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 4: It's like damn, you know, and.

539
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 5: I think just the in person relationships have like really fizzle.

540
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 5: So having a candid conversation nowadays about something that's considered

541
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 5: taboo or you know, something people may feel ashamed about,

542
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 5: it's not as easy as it even would be with

543
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 5: all these other caveats on top of it, you know

544
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 5: what I mean.

545
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 2: So looking back, where were some questions that you wish

546
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,360
Speaker 2: you had asked men before becoming intimate with them?

547
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 5: Now the huge one that was a hot topic from

548
00:26:54,440 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 5: the conversation that we had I nowadays, Yeah.

549
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 4: I need to you know, because.

550
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 5: What made me really recognize it is because there's so

551
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 5: many men in my.

552
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 4: Circle, men that I.

553
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 5: Have counsel professionally personally, men that I'm friends with, men

554
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 5: that i've met in passing, men that I've worked with

555
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 5: that don't consider having sex with the man as.

556
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 4: Gay or bisexual. They don't identify it at all.

557
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 5: It's just a sexual appetite they want in the forefront

558
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 5: there with women, but on behind closed doors, it's something

559
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 5: totally different. And I've had so many women that I've

560
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 5: and even male friends that have found out that the

561
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 5: guy was either married or you know what I mean,

562
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 5: or had a long term girlfriend or you know, or.

563
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 4: Just whatever the case may be.

564
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 5: These men aren't being truthful about what they're doing behind

565
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 5: the scenes. So with that being said, and nobody cares

566
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 5: about what you're doing, but you gotta give me that.

567
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't make that choice for me.

568
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 4: Yes, you can't do that. This is my life.

569
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 2: If you like me and take your asshole over that,

570
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 2: that's fine. But you know what, I like that show,

571
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 2: If that show sexual preference, that's fine. But my sexual preference,

572
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 2: you can't take that away from me.

573
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 4: You get what I'm saying.

574
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 2: And even sitting at a table with women having a discussion,

575
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 2: some women got offended by that.

576
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I noticed that, and.

577
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 5: This isn't no dagger to anybody. At the end of

578
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 5: the day, we if we're gonna.

579
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 2: Have conversations, we gotta be candid about every aspect of it.

580
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 2: And that's a major aspects.

581
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 5: Me and this on a day on law and you,

582
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 5: And that's something that and I didn't want to get

583
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 5: into the space because that's not the first space that

584
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 5: we've had this converse fation where people get offended by that,

585
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 5: And I think a lot of it has to do

586
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 5: with people thinking that you're like labeling somebody.

587
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 2: Or judging them, and that's not the case. I'm not

588
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 2: judging anybody, but.

589
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 5: I have every fucking right to say whoever that I'm

590
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 5: having sex with it, that you need to be kidded

591
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 5: with me about what you're doing on the other side

592
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 5: when it affects me.

593
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: Have you ever been in situations where people when you

594
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 2: notice people felt uncomfortable and you just pulled them to

595
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 2: the side and be like yo, like that wasn't for you.

596
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,479
Speaker 2: Like I'm just telling you my experiences and what I

597
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 2: think we should do to promote transparency when it comes

598
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 2: to these conversations, because I feel like when you have

599
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 2: these conversations, especially when it comes to black men, and

600
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: you know the correlation between them might be on the

601
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 2: down low, Like it's people getting very sensitive.

602
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 5: I'm noticing, and it's women too, you know what I'm noticing.

603
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 5: And I love how you said that. What I've you know,

604
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 5: you live and you learn from situations that I don't

605
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 5: ever want to come across is though I am attacking

606
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 5: anybody or trying to intentionally offend anyone, you get what

607
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 5: I'm saying. So what I learned in that situation and

608
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 5: in another situation that when this topic comes up, I

609
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 5: will say, hey, this is no disrespect to anybody, just

610
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 5: kind of preface it with maybe a disclaimer, like, you know,

611
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 5: there's some things that I would like to bring to

612
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 5: the forefront from not only my personal experience but professionally.

613
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 5: And I don't know how you guys may feel about it,

614
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 5: but this is something that is also affecting our communities

615
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 5: and I would love for us to talk about it

616
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 5: and being kind of introduce it because I'm noticing, because

617
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 5: I'm so upfront, it's so transparent that it may come

618
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 5: off a little too abrasive, you.

619
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 4: Know what I'm saying. And so, but the reason why.

620
00:30:55,920 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 5: Is because I've had so many women and people coacted

621
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 5: to me personally and professionally that have been affected by it.

622
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 2: So I have to find a way to navigate it

623
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 2: where it's not offensive and that it's more.

624
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 5: This is all education, right and making sure that people

625
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 5: are just informed that this is a heavy thing in

626
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 5: our community with me and coming home from jail with me,

627
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 5: and that's what they needed to be given condoms out

628
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 5: in jail.

629
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 4: It's real, says, It's real.

630
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 2: Like the fact that they don't pass out condoms in jail,

631
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 2: and I'm not I don't know for every jail, but

632
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 2: for the most part, they.

633
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:33,959
Speaker 3: Don't give out condoms.

634
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, y'all, like, y'all know what these niggas be

635
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 2: doing in here, like, and then you send them out

636
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 2: in the streets and then it's just so crazy.

637
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 5: It's scary, and I'm girl, and it's such a taboo

638
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 5: topic even with that, you know, you.

639
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 4: Know, cause I got a bunch of.

640
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 5: Men I can't even say because they're so closely connected

641
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 5: to me. But girl, they come home, they don't even

642
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 5: discuss like what they've seen in jail because it's so prevalent,

643
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 5: it's so this.

644
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 4: The shit is prevalent. Like that's something.

645
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 5: Listen, I have this quick story, right. I got this

646
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 5: girl that is a family member of mine. She kept

647
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 5: talking about her guy was coming home from jail. We

648
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 5: ended up meeting him at a party July fourth weekend party.

649
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 3: And it shot town. I know it was live, baby, it.

650
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 2: Was lit by the time he got there. Of course,

651
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 2: we had already had been drinking. Everybody's a little sipsy, right, and.

652
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 5: Honey, one of the guys that my brother had invited.

653
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 4: Kept staying, I know him, I know him from somewhere.

654
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 5: And then like maybe thirty minutes into the party, girl,

655
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 5: he was like, oh, I know what I know you're from.

656
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 4: He asked him, like, did you spend time at wool

657
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 4: Wool And the guy was like yeah. He was like,

658
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 4: oh okay, girl.

659
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 5: He walked away and he told my He told my sister.

660
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 5: He was like, you know, he was bunking with they

661
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 5: called him Geechee's. He was like, he was bunking with achi.

662
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 4: Girl.

663
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 5: When I tell you this guy had no you you

664
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 5: there would be no way that you would know that.

665
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 5: It would be no way that you would know that

666
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 5: he was in a full blown relationship with the man

667
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 5: in jail.

668
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 3: And what is what happened next?

669
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 5: Girl, she would she didn't believe it. She stayed with

670
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 5: him and ended up finding out some kind of way.

671
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 5: The guy wrote a letter to him home or something,

672
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 5: and that's how she found out.

673
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 3: But she's not even coming to him, coming to her

674
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 3: as a woman.

675
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 4: Girl, You hear me, ye, girl that said she wouldn't

676
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 4: have never believed it, said she didn't believe that what

677
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 4: that guy says, like he had no reason to.

678
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 3: Lie to her, then she didn't believe him.

679
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 2: I thoroughly believe that as women, we put people before us.

680
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 4: You Sometimes we love people so hard that you don't

681
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 4: believe it. Nobody say whether it's something that's severe as that.

682
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 5: And I've been in shoes not like that, But I've

683
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 5: been in a situation where I ain't believe nothing.

684
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 4: No, but it just told me about my man.

685
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 3: I was just in a situation like that far.

686
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 4: I just didn't want to believe it.

687
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 5: You know, we see the red flags and we don't

688
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 5: want to you know you, it's just like I love

689
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 5: this togg okay, fuck that.

690
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 4: And then you'd be so gone.

691
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 2: You went down this road and been with them all

692
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,720
Speaker 2: this time you like shit, and we just accept certain

693
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 2: things that we know we should not be with and

694
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 2: we know we shouldn't be pushing on.

695
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 4: And that's what I believe. I believe that. I believe

696
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 4: she was just she loved him so much that she

697
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 4: just did not believe that he did that.

698
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 3: Damn.

699
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 4: She believed that he you know, he was like he

700
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,399
Speaker 4: lying and she believed him.

701
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 5: And girl, it came out not even two or three

702
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 5: months later, Oh my, because that guy he was upset

703
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 5: because I guess he wasn't sending him any money or

704
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 5: he wasn't connected to him because he was here all

705
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 5: the time.

706
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 4: So he saw him and her off right.

707
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 2: He wrote him, but I didn't told him like and

708
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 2: then she read that shit. She ended up getting it

709
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 2: some kind of way and found it, girl, and was

710
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 2: like she was out, No, a devastated girl. Devastated.

711
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, that's a hard pill of swallow, you know.

712
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 5: And so here that's the whole thing. Whatever you were

713
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 5: doing in jail, that's your business. You don't necessarily have

714
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 5: to tell anybody that, but you do have to devote

715
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 5: that to the person that you came home to.

716
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 4: And you're in a full blown relationship with her.

717
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, listen, that's why I keep this kiddy so tight.

718
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 2: Child, I don't so sick. I'm sitting here, what the

719
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 2: fuck is going on?

720
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 5: Listen, that's the the me and you know this, you

721
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 5: know on a download, not just that's it's the whole

722
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 5: thing about me and not being truthful even about the

723
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 5: multiple parts.

724
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

725
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 2: Yo, literally, I was gonna say, I think that sometimes

726
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 2: we over focused on download men, but we're not even

727
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 2: talking about the community.

728
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 4: They just as worse for everybody.

729
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:22,399
Speaker 5: Listen when I tell you that says all of it

730
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 5: is just and it always affects us as me always

731
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 5: the bottom of the bureau. And then listen, and we

732
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:31,479
Speaker 5: deserve so much more.

733
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 3: Listen.

734
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 2: I wasn't to an event, so I don't know if

735
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 2: I share this with my listeners either. So HIV and

736
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 2: A's is very near and dear to me because I

737
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 2: recently reconnected with my father and I'm starting to learn

738
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 2: more about his side of the family. And everybody always

739
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 2: say how my father, my father's mother and I look

740
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 2: so much alike.

741
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 3: I'll show you a picture of her so you can

742
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 3: just see. Oh my god, y'all do exactly. So the

743
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 3: story was my beautiful that's like you thank you. So

744
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 3: when I was younger, I used to always have.

745
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 2: This this uh like what's the word, like a connection

746
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 2: with those who were either affected, who had either been

747
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 2: affected by drugs or those who was affected by HIV

748
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 2: and drugs came from my father because my father is

749
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 2: a drug addict. And come to find out, my grandma Rose,

750
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,880
Speaker 2: she was with her husband for many many years, her

751
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 2: second husband for many many years, and he was addicted

752
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 2: to drugs, and come to find out, he got affected

753
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 2: with a's and he gave my grandma Rose.

754
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 3: A's and she ended up dying.

755
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 2: So these conversations are very important to me because I

756
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 2: went to an event and it was about just bringing

757
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 2: more awareness to HIV and AIDS and things like that

758
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: within our community.

759
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 4: I experienced that though, you know, yeah.

760
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 3: And the thing is I never met her before, but

761
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 3: you know.

762
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 4: You can still have part of your bloodline, you know, exactly.

763
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 2: So when I went to the event and they was

764
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 2: like nothing but black women in her from youngest probably

765
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 2: somebody's child shood as old as our grandmother, right, And

766
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 2: they asked a question like how many women in here

767
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 2: have been affected or know somebody that's affected by those

768
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 2: and that has HIV. When I tell you sis, almost

769
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: every woman almost raise her damn hands.

770
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 3: And I was just like, yo, this is fun.

771
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 4: Crazy, No, it's real. It's so real.

772
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 2: And here's the thing, right, and this is why love

773
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 2: when we educate each other, talk about it and we

774
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:31,879
Speaker 2: express like just our experiences because just because we may

775
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 2: not be promiscuous, but the what do we know about

776
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 2: the person that you're with?

777
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 4: What are they doing?

778
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 5: And just because you may not be, but the person

779
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 5: that you are with, if they.

780
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 4: Are living a lifestyle that's just free willing, then guess

781
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 4: what you are affected. And some of these women think, oh,

782
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 4: I don't go outside and I don't do this. It

783
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 4: be them guys, if you listen, it does not.

784
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 5: And that's the thing that I'm gathering in these different

785
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 5: spaces is that this is why some women get so offended,

786
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 5: because you need to be aware of what's happiness is

787
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:11,720
Speaker 5: when it comes to your body.

788
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 4: We are the controller of that. We control you know.

789
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you spoke about you changing once you had

790
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 2: your daughter, So some us about that, like what made

791
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 2: you change?

792
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 4: I wanted to.

793
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 5: I just really wanted to give her a different lifestyle.

794
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 5: I wanted her to have the ability to see that.

795
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 5: You know that there's so much more, is so much

796
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 5: better out here, you know, And I wanted to I

797
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 5: just wanted to start that process before I had her,

798
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying, Like, I just wanted to

799
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 5: be greater and the best version of the woman that

800
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 5: I could be, and which would make me the best

801
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 5: version of a version of a mother, you know what

802
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 5: I'm saying. And that's really what it was. That's what

803
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 5: made me change just being I wanted to be the

804
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,919
Speaker 5: best mother I could be, the best woman I could be.

805
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 5: I wanted to represent just being a full lady for her,

806
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:15,239
Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying.

807
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 4: I wanted to do things right.

808
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 5: I wanted to break that generational kurds of you know,

809
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 5: just being defiant to my parents. I just I made

810
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 5: a three sixty because I wanted to do things right,

811
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 5: like to how my mother had did by me. I

812
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 5: was just defying in crazy saying.

813
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,240
Speaker 4: Not just saying, you know what I mean.

814
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,280
Speaker 5: But my mother was an amazing mother to me, and

815
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 5: the choices I made had nothing to do with her.

816
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 4: It was just my sense of.

817
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 5: Being defiant and just oppositional when I didn't have to be,

818
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 5: and you know, wanted to be accepted.

819
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 4: From a crowd.

820
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 5: That girl right now to this day not even alive,

821
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, you know, so just making

822
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 5: the wrong decisions, but I wanted to do the right

823
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 5: thing by her.

824
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 2: And did you ever have a conversation with your husban

825
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: or your ex husband?

826
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, he.

827
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 5: One thing I can say is that I am so

828
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 5: glad that I was just transparent with him from the gate,

829
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 5: And honestly that's how we connected because I'm talking him

830
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 5: flat out like these you know, I had multiple partners

831
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 5: and that I you know, I was a whole and I.

832
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 4: Did a whole lot of up ship and.

833
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 5: I made a lot of you know, like really bad

834
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 5: decisions and you know, and.

835
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: He he was truthful about sted.

836
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 4: He was the same way he had been with multiple

837
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,760
Speaker 4: women and all.

838
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 5: These different things. But we got tested and you know,

839
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 5: everything was we both had a clean bill of health

840
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 5: and we were able to move forward. And that was

841
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 5: the blessing. He was the first guy that I actually

842
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 5: ever did that with.

843
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 4: He was like because he was you know about him

844
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 4: the girl. He's serious about his health.

845
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 2: Because he's an athlete, so for him, he wasn't Yeah,

846
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 2: you know, niggas who played sports.

847
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 3: They're not playing games.

848
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 4: Money maker fight. I gotta say, I'm straight. I can't.

849
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 4: You know.

850
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 2: He need took better care of his body. He was

851
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 2: very into his health and his physical authorship like that.

852
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 4: So he was like, you know, let's go get a test.

853
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 4: Let's go together.

854
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:11,879
Speaker 1: We did.

855
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 4: Girl, I was friended. I was okay. I was like, girl,

856
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:16,760
Speaker 4: I'm gonna fuck.

857
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 5: This up because I had not did that with anybody.

858
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 4: You see what I'm saying. So I didn't know you.

859
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,439
Speaker 4: That's some real shit, y'all.

860
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 3: But you like, come on, God, please, have you ever

861
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 3: gonna come through? I need you to come through now.

862
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 3: I don't want to lose this nigga.

863
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 2: Saying this man gonna marry me and take on my

864
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 2: daughter because he is.

865
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 4: Not my daughter's father.

866
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good man. So man, y'all.

867
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, I found me a good man.

868
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 4: This is it, and me and God just worked that

869
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 4: thing out because I really did have a clean bill

870
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 4: of health. He did too, and it just worked itself

871
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 4: out by the grace of God. Girl, God, you got

872
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:01,879
Speaker 4: to work this without.

873
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. So when it came to because I know you

874
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 2: said earlier that you used to treat him really bad

875
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 2: because of your experience with experience and sexual assault. So

876
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,280
Speaker 2: how did that conversation go that, Like did he already

877
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 2: know about that or.

878
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 5: You know, he he knew about it, and he recognized

879
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 5: like my triggers working there at the sexual Sauce what

880
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:31,320
Speaker 5: sex abuse center, and he said right away, he was like, girl,

881
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 5: you something going on.

882
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 4: You listen. Let me tell you how crazy I had gotten.

883
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 5: Says I had gotten to the point where I was

884
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 5: triggered by that was my first time experiencing being triggered

885
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 5: to that level of it was affecting my life. Like

886
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 5: I literally started going to church every every day, like

887
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 5: going a Bible stating, which was all good, but I

888
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 5: turned into.

889
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,800
Speaker 4: Like a Bible something nut right.

890
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:04,240
Speaker 5: So somewhere from you know, being like in the street

891
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 5: to like now I'm this devout Christian right, And then

892
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 5: I told him like, you know, we're not having sex

893
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 5: until we get married, and girl, I just totally flipped out.

894
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 4: And he was like I did. I did.

895
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 5: I was going from one extreme to the next, and

896
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,919
Speaker 5: I started mistreating him because I felt like God had

897
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 5: told me, and girl, I just had lost my mind.

898
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 5: And don't get me wrong, I have the best relationship

899
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 5: that I do with Christ now, But at that time,

900
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 5: I literally was using it as a way as I

901
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 5: was weaponizing my relationship with God. Yeah yeah, against my mate,

902
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 5: Like you're not going to church, you're not doing this

903
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 5: and I'm changing my life and you not and I'm

904
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 5: of God you're not, and you know, and that's that.

905
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 5: Ain't that shit ain't cool either. At the end of

906
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 5: the day, people that are of God don't have to

907
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 5: make you feel like you ain't shit because they're not

908
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 5: walking the lane.

909
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 4: That you are.

910
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 3: Fast.

911
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 4: It's not that. Ain't how you do it.

912
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 2: The fact, you know, one of my favorite people, my

913
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 2: hero Oprah, you know, she's always been very vocal about

914
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 2: it too. She's always been very vocal about, you know,

915
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 2: being promiscuous and the things that she had to do

916
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,439
Speaker 2: in order to set boundaries in order for her to heal.

917
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 2: So what was your experience like with your boundaries setting,

918
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 2: because like, did you ever have a time when you

919
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 2: almost like slipped back to how you used to be? Girl? Listen, something,

920
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 2: my boundaries picked in And I hate to say this,

921
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 2: it didn't kick in.

922
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 4: Until I got married. Are you married now? No, I'm

923
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 4: not married now. Okay, but him and.

924
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 5: I we have been married for eight years. So I

925
00:45:58,080 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 5: ended up getting divorced.

926
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 4: But it was the best.

927
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:04,359
Speaker 5: I don't regret anything. It was the best experience. I

928
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:04,879
Speaker 5: can't say.

929
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 4: So when I get married again, I'll know.

930
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 5: I was young, you know what I mean, We were

931
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:12,960
Speaker 5: really young we got married, and I can honestly say

932
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:14,720
Speaker 5: I know the difference in that now.

933
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,879
Speaker 4: But my boundaries didn't kick in until I met him.

934
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 5: He came from a family that was really you know,

935
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 5: into property and like credit and you know, yeah, so

936
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 5: he you know, my family, everybody were good people, but

937
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 5: everybody you know what I'm saying.

938
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:37,280
Speaker 4: So they were.

939
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 5: More family oriented, and so I didn't know what the

940
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,799
Speaker 5: fuck that looked like. So girl with him, and he

941
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 5: was like, come on, you know, for Thanksgiving week, everybody

942
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 5: come to the table, and girl, I'm used to people come,

943
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 5: getting to play, going on the right.

944
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 4: Sit around at the table. Ship. I didn't know anything

945
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 4: about that.

946
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 5: That was to me, And so that's when I learned

947
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 5: boundaries that, Okay, this is family time, this is you know,

948
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 5: me and you time, this is my time. This is

949
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 5: when we come together we sit and talk about bills.

950
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 5: And that's when I learned, you know, boundaries and how

951
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 5: to be more you know, self sufficient when it came

952
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 5: to you know, just the different things that we needed

953
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 5: to do. And it makes me a better woman even

954
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 5: to this day doing that certain things that I put

955
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 5: as a priority, you know.

956
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 4: So how do you as you should? Though?

957
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 3: As you should? So how do you view intimacy and

958
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:35,720
Speaker 3: relationships now?

959
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 4: You know what?

960
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 5: It's so funny that you ask that because I'm even

961
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 5: redefining that even now, like you know, really making sure

962
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:52,280
Speaker 5: that I'm putting myself first. Like women like right now

963
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 5: when you get to a different space in your life

964
00:47:55,600 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 5: and you are winning not just a the outer but

965
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 5: the inn and like I'm you know, being I'm in

966
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 5: a different space, you know, financially, I'm in a different space. Emotionally,

967
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 5: I'm in a different space, you know, mentally and physically.

968
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 5: So I'm not looking to attract what's beneath that you

969
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 5: understand what I'm saying, Like, I don't want anything that's

970
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 5: not vibing or vibrational on a higher level that's like

971
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 5: really into God. I don't want a man that's just

972
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:33,320
Speaker 5: like connected to everybody and wants to have sex with everybody.

973
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,800
Speaker 4: Is just like move by everything that's moving.

974
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,399
Speaker 5: I need a man that's more into who he is

975
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 5: and so he's not attracted to everything that's easy press.

976
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 2: You get what I'm saying, Like you're seeing impressed by anything.

977
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,279
Speaker 2: I need you to at least have some sense of

978
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 2: word for yourself.

979
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 5: But for me, you know what I'm saying, I don't

980
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,479
Speaker 5: need you to be attracted to every fucking thing this moving.

981
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 4: I don't want to feel like.

982
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 5: When I'm with my man and I gotta feel like

983
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 5: I'm intimidated by every woman at wall Pass because he

984
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 5: can't even hold hisself together.

985
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 3: You get what I'm saying, the worst man, you have

986
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:15,320
Speaker 3: some sense.

987
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 4: Of like respect for yourself, and then that'll respect me.

988
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 3: What the older say, they have some of the core

989
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 3: about yourself.

990
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 4: So yeah, that that is that's huge.

991
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 5: So now so as me, you know, working on that

992
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 5: within itself. I'm recognizing that I don't want anybody and everybody.

993
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 5: I want to start a man now and I'm and

994
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 5: I'm okay with at this age that I'm okay well

995
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 5: waiting on that ship like I'm cool with that.

996
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 4: I'm cool with being at home. I'm cool with you

997
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 4: know what I mean. I'm having a ball with this

998
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 4: with you, I'm in a very.

999
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,279
Speaker 5: Good space, So I don't want to come into my

1000
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 5: life that we're inter rupt that that's not of God,

1001
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:05,240
Speaker 5: that's not connected to God, that doesn't have a sense.

1002
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:06,800
Speaker 4: Of where they're going in life, and our.

1003
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 2: Bad Yeah, no facts, because you know, the devil loves

1004
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 2: lonely women like yes, And that's why I was like,

1005
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 2: cause I was in a situation. I'm like, you know what,

1006
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 2: Ebna like this, Ain't it like you came too far

1007
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 2: to allow a nigga to trick you about your spot?

1008
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:28,879
Speaker 5: Like and all says like some of these men, girl,

1009
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 5: it's a whole another topic. We'll have to do it

1010
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 5: another tide. But says some of these men are really

1011
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 5: jealous of women. You know what I mean when I

1012
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 5: tell you when it because they're not in their rifle space.

1013
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 5: So the enemy will literally like fuck they brain up

1014
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 5: to a point where now you, me and you were

1015
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 5: not opponents.

1016
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:49,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, well the same.

1017
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 4: Fucking team like you. Hey men, I'm your girl.

1018
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm telling you. But I've been saying niggas are

1019
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 3: the new bitches.

1020
00:50:56,040 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 5: So I'm talking about feminine Yeah, no argumentative and you

1021
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 5: know a girl, it says says. I mean, I'm talking

1022
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 5: about even on the phone, you got them popping their lips.

1023
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 4: And you you.

1024
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 3: And I'm not talking about like gay men. I'm talking about.

1025
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 5: Straight men exactly what we talk about. Are we not

1026
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 5: bashing anybody? Get yeah, anybody.

1027
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:27,239
Speaker 3: We love all folks, right, but I'm talking about men.

1028
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 3: But who want to be the bad bitch Like, no, nigga,

1029
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 3: set your ass down somewhere.

1030
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 4: I'll princess your ass. Nigga, I'm the pointing around his

1031
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 4: motherfucker exactly.

1032
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 2: Now, what role they forgiveness play in your healing and

1033
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:43,760
Speaker 2: forgiveness for yourself?

1034
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 5: You know, I had to at some point look at

1035
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 5: myself and say, Okay, you did this, you did that,

1036
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,480
Speaker 5: You made a lot of mistakes, you failed a lot,

1037
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 5: you want a lot, It's all good, and I have

1038
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 5: to at some point.

1039
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 4: It took me a long time since to forgive myself.

1040
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 5: Because everybody's talking about yeah, yeah, yeah, you got to

1041
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 5: forgive people that wronged you and all that shit. But

1042
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 5: when do you forgive yourself for you know, like making

1043
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:19,800
Speaker 5: some mistakes or whatever, you know, being homeless, or you know,

1044
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 5: some of the things, some of the bad mistakes that

1045
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 5: we made or the bad choices and the bad decisions

1046
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 5: that we made doesn't.

1047
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,439
Speaker 4: Make you less of a person. And so I had

1048
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:31,240
Speaker 4: to work on that first.

1049
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 2: And once you.

1050
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:37,440
Speaker 5: Start to recognize that I am who I am, and

1051
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,839
Speaker 5: I love everything that I've been through, not to say

1052
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:45,360
Speaker 5: that rape situation, but everything that I've endorsed.

1053
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 4: This put me where I am now, and I don't

1054
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 4: regret any of it, you know, fact, even my worst shit,

1055
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 4: I know that it was all aligned to where I

1056
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 4: am now.

1057
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 5: Even the worst situations that under the and me tried

1058
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 5: to do to throw me off track and make you feel,

1059
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,279
Speaker 5: you know, degrading and lessing and all of that. There's

1060
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 5: no way that I can pour into a woman if

1061
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,719
Speaker 5: I had not understood what that felt like to be

1062
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 5: at your lowest of the lowes, to not really be

1063
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:17,399
Speaker 5: able to see your work and all that other shit.

1064
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

1065
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:20,919
Speaker 3: Facts. I was just having this conversation with my best friend.

1066
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 2: I was like, Yo, I've been through a lot of shit,

1067
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 2: but I'm just so thankful that I'm me, Like, yeah,

1068
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 2: I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

1069
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,840
Speaker 4: You know, I love if you said that, because this

1070
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:33,760
Speaker 4: is this is so powerful.

1071
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 2: Sis when women copy other women, when women are intimidated

1072
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 2: by other women, when we are haters of other women.

1073
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 4: Do you know that tells guy that.

1074
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 5: You know, I don't know what he's doing. Facts, it's

1075
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 5: a slap in the face to him. It's like, you know,

1076
00:53:58,800 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 5: you made a mistake with me.

1077
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:00,959
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1078
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 4: And do you know how insulting is that?

1079
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1080
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,960
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. How insulting is that to God?

1081
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 4: That like I want to copy what she doing? I

1082
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,879
Speaker 4: want to you know what I mean? Like I want

1083
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 4: to be just like her.

1084
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 5: Like people, you know everything that God got for you,

1085
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 5: sus and your podcast and your speaking engagements, and how

1086
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 5: beauty and how peaceful your homie is, and how much

1087
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:32,080
Speaker 5: I've enjoyed this conversation. That's something all that God has

1088
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 5: for you. And I'm happy about that, and because I was.

1089
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:38,840
Speaker 4: Excited in my heart to do this for you.

1090
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,719
Speaker 2: But this is what I want women to understand that

1091
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:50,360
Speaker 2: when you're happy for the goodness on somebody's else life

1092
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 2: from God, can you only imagine the things that He'll

1093
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 2: do for you, Because in your heart, you genuinely want

1094
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 2: to see that person. When you genuinely are celebrating what

1095
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,839
Speaker 2: God is doing on that side of the track.

1096
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 4: So there's no way that he would ignore that. For you,

1097
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 4: there's no way.

1098
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 2: And I always say when God is blessing my homegirls

1099
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 2: or people that I know, like yourself. For other people,

1100
00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, shit, he in the neighborhood, So I know

1101
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 2: I gotta be next. You know what I'm saying, Like,

1102
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:22,719
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna wait my turn.

1103
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:27,800
Speaker 4: He blesses the cheerful heart says, yeah.

1104
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:33,360
Speaker 2: He's connected to positive, he's connected to those that you

1105
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 2: know what I mean, to celebrate those that are joyful.

1106
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 2: It always says, be a joyful giver, be a you

1107
00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:42,840
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, Like he's connected to.

1108
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:47,320
Speaker 5: And so, you know, seeing you do well, seeing you flurrised,

1109
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 5: seeing how smooth this went with you, I'm happy about that.

1110
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 4: You know what I'm meaning.

1111
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:57,880
Speaker 2: Same Now, how did your personal experience to shape your

1112
00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 2: decision to become a private practitioner?

1113
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 1: Cool?

1114
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 4: You know what I wanted.

1115
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 5: I met this girl at at this church, and this

1116
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 5: is how it started therapy. I met a girl at

1117
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,320
Speaker 5: the church, never knowing that she was a therapist. She

1118
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,360
Speaker 5: was in her thirties in I was in my twenties,

1119
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 5: and I started with her and she was amazing, and

1120
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,160
Speaker 5: I recognized.

1121
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:27,360
Speaker 4: That I wanted to do the same thing. Pay it forward,

1122
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 4: give somebody the.

1123
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 5: Opportunity to sit with me with feels like a conversation

1124
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 5: and not full blown therapy, and then we started moving

1125
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 5: into that and that's what we did. I did that

1126
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:38,800
Speaker 5: with her for six months and it was the best

1127
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:43,359
Speaker 5: decision I made in my entire life. And so since then,

1128
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 5: I've been on that track to not only be a

1129
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 5: private practitioner, but make sure that I sit on the

1130
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:50,800
Speaker 5: other side of the desk with things that I struggled

1131
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,520
Speaker 5: with as well too, Because the only way that you

1132
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,600
Speaker 5: could be great at what you're doing is making sure

1133
00:56:55,680 --> 00:57:00,359
Speaker 5: that you understand what that looks like from every aspect, right, Yeah,

1134
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,360
Speaker 5: And so with that, I wanted to pay it for it.

1135
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:06,320
Speaker 5: I want other people to feel like, Yeah, this is

1136
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 5: something that can be done and it's.

1137
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 4: The greatest thing you can do for your life.

1138
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 5: We have to incorporate things that better us, not just

1139
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 5: from the outer Like we are quick to go get

1140
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 5: our hair.

1141
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 4: Done, we are quick to go do it with girl

1142
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 4: with goal spending five hundred dollars weave. Why weren't we

1143
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 4: pour into our mental health?

1144
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1145
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.

1146
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, So have there ever been times when a client

1147
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 2: experience hit close to home for you?

1148
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely when we're talking about sexual violence that you know,

1149
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 5: whenever we address that, I always have to prepare myself

1150
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 5: for that. I always have to be transparent, not just

1151
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,919
Speaker 5: going into my experiences, but just making sure that they're

1152
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 5: aware that I understand way more than they know, and

1153
00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:58,560
Speaker 5: that I to have experienced that, but not you know,

1154
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 5: divulging that every single tign, but just making sure that

1155
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 5: I'm present so that people can know that you're not

1156
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 5: alone and that you.

1157
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 4: Know, I get it, and that I've experienced some form

1158
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 4: of violence and.

1159
00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 3: You know, I imagine how triggering that can be for you.

1160
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 5: Though, girl, Thankfully, I can't honestly say that. As a

1161
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 5: private practitioner, I'm.

1162
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 4: Able to select what my expertise arery.

1163
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 5: So I don't really deal with sexual violence a lot

1164
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 5: because I know that is a direct trigger for me.

1165
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:39,000
Speaker 5: So if it comes up, I deal with it or whatever.

1166
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:44,720
Speaker 5: But I don't have clients that specifically deal with those

1167
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 5: particular things, you know what I mean, because I know

1168
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 5: that that's something that I struggle with, and so you

1169
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 5: can't help anybody if you struggling.

1170
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:55,560
Speaker 3: Like, girl, listen, I'm me too.

1171
00:58:55,720 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 4: Shit, So you know I can't be said. You know,

1172
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 4: now your client is you know, maybe therapy. You know

1173
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, like, what's wrong with you?

1174
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 1: Shit?

1175
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 4: Girl, that's not healthy. So I always make sure that

1176
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 4: I remain in my lane.

1177
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 5: I made sure that I focused on that area that's

1178
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 5: really you know, something that I can haunt in because

1179
00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 5: the ultimate goals you want your clients to be better.

1180
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:26,200
Speaker 4: Shit, I don't want them walking away being like now

1181
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 4: I'm both fucked up. Aff she crying, I'm crying like hell.

1182
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 5: Or even more, because you can do People don't understand

1183
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 5: that you can do damage. Yeah, oh by you know,

1184
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 5: not being trained and not having a sense of you know, boundaries,

1185
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 5: and not being professional and all of those things.

1186
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 4: Like the sister girl, conversation.

1187
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 5: I'm having with you is completely different from my professional hack,

1188
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? Different because shit, I don't

1189
00:59:58,720 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 5: want to get.

1190
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 4: Schooled either, right right right right.

1191
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 2: But you know, but I can only imagine how many

1192
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:06,480
Speaker 2: times cause I think about stuff like this for myself,

1193
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 2: like when I be like, damn, like I really do

1194
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 2: believe that either God would show you glimpses of your

1195
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 2: life or how things could have been or how things

1196
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 2: will be. So I can only imagine how many times

1197
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:17,240
Speaker 2: you have that when you hear stories and you be

1198
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:19,760
Speaker 2: like God, damn, like that could have been.

1199
01:00:19,720 --> 01:00:21,240
Speaker 4: Me, you know.

1200
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 5: And God will forever remind you of his grace and

1201
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 5: his mercy. That's no matter what, he will always remind

1202
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 5: you about fact. Damn, I'm complaining And this could have been,

1203
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 5: this could be different, you know what I'm saying, my ending,

1204
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 5: we all have a book that's within us that from

1205
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 5: one chapter to the next that you know, the.

1206
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:49,440
Speaker 2: Beginning may be gray, the middle baby juicy, that end

1207
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:51,439
Speaker 2: may be the like the ultrigate plot.

1208
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 4: But we all have a book within us, and so

1209
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:58,920
Speaker 4: it's just how are you building your chapters? You know

1210
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 4: what I'm saying. Sometimes it be paid for page or

1211
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:05,480
Speaker 4: paragraph to paragraph, but as long as you continue to

1212
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:07,000
Speaker 4: keep fucking.

1213
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:07,920
Speaker 3: Going, yeah, you know.

1214
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:11,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? Now, how do you guy clients who are struggling

1215
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 2: with shame or stigma when it comes to their sexual health?

1216
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:16,520
Speaker 2: Because you share the story about how I think one

1217
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 2: of your clients was a married man and he disclose

1218
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:21,600
Speaker 2: to you that he's been married for like thirty something

1219
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 2: years to his wife, but he's also been secretly dating

1220
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 2: or having sex with men for a majority of their marriage.

1221
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:35,320
Speaker 4: You know what I try to do is I try

1222
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 4: to you know, of course, you can't tell a client

1223
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 4: what to do, you know what I mean. Of course

1224
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 4: you can't.

1225
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:43,360
Speaker 5: You know, it's very you have to be very careful

1226
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:47,400
Speaker 5: with like not judging. So in certain situations, if it

1227
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 5: gets to a point where I feel like this isn't

1228
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 5: going in a direction that's helpful to the client or

1229
01:01:55,360 --> 01:02:00,440
Speaker 5: to their future mental health, then I'll just say, hey,

1230
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 5: I'll refer you out because if you see that that relationship,

1231
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 5: any professional therapeutic relationship should always have a sense of

1232
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:16,800
Speaker 5: a goal, right, and if that goal is not reaching

1233
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 5: somewhere something to the benefit of that patient, then you're

1234
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:22,960
Speaker 5: just taking a money.

1235
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,080
Speaker 4: You get what I'm saying. It should always be to

1236
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,919
Speaker 4: the benefit of a patient. I don't give a damn.

1237
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 5: Like if after a couple months you're seeing that this

1238
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 5: is not going anywhere and it's not something where you

1239
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:38,240
Speaker 5: can see them being successful and really thriving in a

1240
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:43,400
Speaker 5: better direction, then it makes no sense. So in those cases,

1241
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 5: are always make sure that we you know, stay on

1242
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:49,520
Speaker 5: track with the goal, like how you've like how you're

1243
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:50,000
Speaker 5: doing here.

1244
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 4: You're like, well, wait, let me ask you this. You

1245
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:52,720
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying.

1246
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:56,360
Speaker 5: It's just how you're guiding the direction of a situation

1247
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:59,680
Speaker 5: and make sure that you're staying on You gotta always

1248
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:04,680
Speaker 5: have an ultimate goal, right, Yeah, and that's your goal

1249
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 5: is to stay on track. Make sure that we stay

1250
01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:10,760
Speaker 5: off you know, we got constraints and so that's basically

1251
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 5: what I do.

1252
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 2: But when you hear shit like that because you're from Chicago,

1253
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 2: like we're from the hood, moments like you be like nyah, good,

1254
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 2: you can't be free that.

1255
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 4: You know, it's a way that you you know, you

1256
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:23,920
Speaker 4: know how we have to do it. I got a

1257
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 4: frame it in a professional way where it's like no,

1258
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 4: you know that sh it ain't cool? What the fuck?

1259
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 4: Like you know what I mean because at the end

1260
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 4: of the day, you know, like it's a few times

1261
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 4: I had to say, like what that want killed you?

1262
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that's a fact, like.

1263
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 4: It did not it did not register because that was

1264
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 4: never a thought.

1265
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:46,480
Speaker 2: And that's why I always make sure I watch the

1266
01:03:46,520 --> 01:03:48,600
Speaker 2: full episodes of Snap because it's the reason why that

1267
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 2: bitch went off.

1268
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:52,480
Speaker 3: It's the reason why.

1269
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:55,960
Speaker 5: People don't understand any one of us can have that

1270
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 5: moment any one of anybody. Anybody can break, anybody can break,

1271
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:04,320
Speaker 5: and people fail to realize that. Yeah, you can have

1272
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:09,280
Speaker 5: all the emotional intelligence that you want anything any one

1273
01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 5: of us a moment.

1274
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 2: Yes, that's why I'd be nice to everybody because you

1275
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 2: don't know. No, I'm seriah, because you do not know

1276
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:18,800
Speaker 2: what people deal with. Yeah, everybody is dealing with nowadays.

1277
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:21,200
Speaker 4: Girl, you don't know what the hell is going on

1278
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:26,960
Speaker 4: these people nowadays. You girl, listen, you have to be careful.

1279
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 5: It's just too much going on right now with the

1280
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 5: economy and you know, people are dealing with so many

1281
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:37,240
Speaker 5: different things. Family, friends, funny shit, lost a job, unapploytment.

1282
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:41,600
Speaker 4: Girl, you can't say. And everybody is licensed to carry.

1283
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:45,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a fact. I always telling myself. I'm like,

1284
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:46,280
Speaker 3: I need to learn how to go.

1285
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:47,880
Speaker 2: I got to go to a gun rage and like,

1286
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:52,040
Speaker 2: you know, just practice and stuff because like, times are different.

1287
01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 4: It's difference.

1288
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,280
Speaker 2: It's and I'm telling you, I really you know, I

1289
01:04:55,680 --> 01:05:00,880
Speaker 2: pray to God that's not the end times. But baby, yeah, yeah,

1290
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,280
Speaker 2: so we almost finished. But if you could speak to

1291
01:05:03,360 --> 01:05:04,960
Speaker 2: your younger self, what would you say to.

1292
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 4: Her that it's all good, that it is well.

1293
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:12,600
Speaker 5: Says it is well, And it took me a long

1294
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:15,920
Speaker 5: time to get here to say it is well, like.

1295
01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:21,160
Speaker 4: I I really feel comfortable in my skin.

1296
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:25,280
Speaker 5: No matter to wait, no matter, like you know, and

1297
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:28,840
Speaker 5: then too, I worked so hard to get here, and

1298
01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 5: I think that I didn't take the time to smell

1299
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:36,439
Speaker 5: the roses along the way, Like it's okay to take

1300
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 5: your time, Like you don't have to be a certain

1301
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:40,240
Speaker 5: age to have a certain degree, or you don't have

1302
01:05:40,320 --> 01:05:42,840
Speaker 5: to be a certain age to be married or or

1303
01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:45,720
Speaker 5: to have kids, or to have a certain amount of money,

1304
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 5: or a certain type.

1305
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:49,400
Speaker 4: Of house or a certain type of car, Like I

1306
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:53,160
Speaker 4: was like rushing to get certain things that I had

1307
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 4: to prove.

1308
01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:56,240
Speaker 2: I had to have this kind of degree, and I

1309
01:05:56,360 --> 01:06:01,040
Speaker 2: had like okay, Like like in my world of therapy,

1310
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:03,120
Speaker 2: you have to be licensed or.

1311
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 5: You're not respected or you have to like even with doctors,

1312
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:09,240
Speaker 5: you know you got mds who like you, ain't no doctor,

1313
01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:11,640
Speaker 5: even though you know that not paying my PhD.

1314
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 4: That in our world is certain fastest.

1315
01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:18,360
Speaker 5: Even when you get a degree, it's still like you're

1316
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 5: still fighting to prove that you're whatever. And it took

1317
01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:28,000
Speaker 5: what I just got comfortable in the last few years

1318
01:06:28,040 --> 01:06:31,520
Speaker 5: after I hit forty that I don't have to prove shit.

1319
01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:32,680
Speaker 4: I who I am.

1320
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:36,200
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, And regardless of a degree

1321
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:38,120
Speaker 2: or certifications and all of that.

1322
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 4: Shit, I'm before I was anything.

1323
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:42,760
Speaker 2: Fact, you understand what I'm saying, that this is who

1324
01:06:42,840 --> 01:06:46,960
Speaker 2: the fuck I was before I got I got right saying,

1325
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,760
Speaker 2: so you know, it was already me. I don't like,

1326
01:06:50,480 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 2: don't get it twisted, right.

1327
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:53,960
Speaker 4: I was already me.

1328
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:58,560
Speaker 2: And that's what I can resonate in, Like I feel

1329
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,120
Speaker 2: like my be yourself now because like.

1330
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:03,280
Speaker 3: You look you glowing?

1331
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:05,560
Speaker 4: Yeah you do.

1332
01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 5: I appreciate that because that that's I'm really working on

1333
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 5: myself daily sys just to be a better woman and

1334
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 5: to bring as much light to any situation that I can.

1335
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:20,720
Speaker 4: You know what I mean. I want you to feel like, damn,

1336
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,560
Speaker 4: it was like pulling teath talking to her ass. You

1337
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:30,720
Speaker 4: know yo, Yeah, like, damn girl, what the fuck? You know?

1338
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:34,560
Speaker 4: So you know, I want I just to be truthful.

1339
01:07:34,720 --> 01:07:39,840
Speaker 5: I really want to give as much positive energy out here.

1340
01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:42,919
Speaker 5: I want to walk away with you being like damn,

1341
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:45,600
Speaker 5: I really enjoyed that I really enjoyed her, you know

1342
01:07:45,640 --> 01:07:48,800
Speaker 5: what I mean, even not even just on things like

1343
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:52,000
Speaker 5: this that's huge, but just even in your personal life,

1344
01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:52,520
Speaker 5: like what do you.

1345
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 4: Bring in to your friendships? What do you bring it

1346
01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:57,040
Speaker 4: to your family, to your jobs?

1347
01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:59,760
Speaker 5: Like what you know people should be like, damn she

1348
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:02,320
Speaker 5: she cool as hell and that's for all of us.

1349
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:05,840
Speaker 5: And it's such a horrible thing when people come across

1350
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 5: you and you're just draining your negative.

1351
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 4: So so yeah, since that's my goal to just be

1352
01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:14,520
Speaker 4: a better woman by day.

1353
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:19,520
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And last, but not the least, what conversations

1354
01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:22,479
Speaker 2: do you encourage people to have with their partners to

1355
01:08:22,560 --> 01:08:27,040
Speaker 2: protect themselves and others, to just be as transparent as possible,

1356
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 2: ask those hard questions that you know, it doesn't have

1357
01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:31,800
Speaker 2: to be just about like who they having sex with?

1358
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:33,479
Speaker 4: But what are your goals? You know, what do you

1359
01:08:33,520 --> 01:08:35,680
Speaker 4: want to do in life? You know what I mean?

1360
01:08:35,840 --> 01:08:37,320
Speaker 3: Like what do you really get to know?

1361
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:40,519
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got to like you know what, and then

1362
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:43,880
Speaker 4: those other hard questions will come. But you gotta feel

1363
01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:47,560
Speaker 4: comfortable enough to even ask, you know what, who are you?

1364
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:49,640
Speaker 4: Where did you come from? What are the things that

1365
01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:51,960
Speaker 4: you like? What are the things that you don't like, do.

1366
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:55,400
Speaker 2: You foresee yourself you know what I mean, always being

1367
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:56,800
Speaker 2: you know, monogamous.

1368
01:08:56,920 --> 01:09:00,960
Speaker 5: Do you foresee yourself like potentially being in all relationship?

1369
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:06,760
Speaker 2: Like yeah, for real, like with you forever and then

1370
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:08,880
Speaker 2: you know, ten years from that, do you think you'll

1371
01:09:08,880 --> 01:09:09,760
Speaker 2: still be in love with me?

1372
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:11,720
Speaker 4: Do you still think you'll love me?

1373
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 2: Like those questions I didn't even ask my ex husband.

1374
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:17,840
Speaker 2: I did ten years from now, you think you and

1375
01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:18,519
Speaker 2: I still.

1376
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:21,240
Speaker 4: Be together and we aren't?

1377
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:25,120
Speaker 5: You get what I'm saying, Like, I don't questions I

1378
01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:29,479
Speaker 5: never asked, you know what I mean. So it's so

1379
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:33,439
Speaker 5: it's really like everything is microwavable now, so instead of

1380
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,479
Speaker 5: really taking time to really get to know people, everything

1381
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:38,600
Speaker 5: is like okay, boom, now we're in a relationship.

1382
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:40,280
Speaker 4: Oh now we didn't talk to each other a couple

1383
01:09:40,280 --> 01:09:41,960
Speaker 4: of times on DM, Now we go together. You know

1384
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:42,519
Speaker 4: what I'm saying.

1385
01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:46,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, you don't really have those hard conversations

1386
01:09:46,479 --> 01:09:49,760
Speaker 2: to really get to know people, you know. Yeah, Yeah,

1387
01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:53,400
Speaker 2: I'm so excited we did this, like y'all were trying

1388
01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:55,479
Speaker 2: to like we I think we sedul this like twice.

1389
01:09:56,880 --> 01:09:59,320
Speaker 3: We was like listen, we having this conversation.

1390
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:01,160
Speaker 4: Grin and this was so light.

1391
01:10:01,439 --> 01:10:05,160
Speaker 5: You are appreciated. Let me tell you you are needed.

1392
01:10:05,840 --> 01:10:08,400
Speaker 5: You know, everything that you're doing, you know what I'm

1393
01:10:08,479 --> 01:10:12,120
Speaker 5: saying is huge. It's women need to be able to

1394
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:15,200
Speaker 5: feel comfortable, and you know you are able to utilize

1395
01:10:15,240 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 5: your platform to build one that and provide people the

1396
01:10:19,439 --> 01:10:21,040
Speaker 5: opportunity for them to share their story.

1397
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:24,040
Speaker 4: That's huge and I appreciate you so much.

1398
01:10:24,200 --> 01:10:25,920
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, sus, thank you thinking.

1399
01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:26,479
Speaker 2: I'm telling you.

1400
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:28,360
Speaker 3: When I saw you and I heard your story, I

1401
01:10:28,479 --> 01:10:30,639
Speaker 3: was like, I gotta have her on the show.

1402
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:31,439
Speaker 4: I have to.

1403
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:33,400
Speaker 3: And I feel like me and you can talk for days.

1404
01:10:33,439 --> 01:10:34,919
Speaker 3: So we're gonna definitely keep it cuttack.

1405
01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:42,120
Speaker 2: Yes, girl, I enjoyed you so anytime, anytime, anytime.

1406
01:10:41,920 --> 01:10:42,760
Speaker 4: Yes, for sure.

1407
01:10:42,800 --> 01:10:45,680
Speaker 2: And to the listeners, if you have any comments, if

1408
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:47,560
Speaker 2: you have any questions or anything, please make sure to

1409
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:49,720
Speaker 2: email me and hello at the PSG podcast dot com.

1410
01:10:49,800 --> 01:10:51,120
Speaker 3: If you want to know more about my guests, just

1411
01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:51,760
Speaker 3: hit me up.

1412
01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:59,040
Speaker 2: And until next time, every one later, later, Thank you love.

1413
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:10,160
Speaker 2: The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black

1414
01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:14,160
Speaker 2: Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

1415
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:17,400
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

1416
01:11:17,439 --> 01:11:20,439
Speaker 2: favorite shows, don't forget to subscribe and rate the show,

1417
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 2: and you can connect with me on social media at

1418
01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:24,519
Speaker 2: the PG podcast