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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, How are you?

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Speaker 2: I am pretty good. How are you?

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Speaker 1: I am a gecko on the computer.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that is true.

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Speaker 1: What's going on with your life?

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Speaker 2: You know, not too much. I didn't really do that

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Speaker 2: much today, chilled at home.

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Speaker 1: Uh Adam. It says here that you have a pen

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Speaker 1: cap stuck in your ass.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you couldn't tell, I was kind of waiting

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Speaker 2: for you to bring that up. I didn't really want.

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Speaker 1: To, Okay. Uh why don't you tell me about this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So Friday night, you know, having some me time,

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Speaker 2: and I had this pen and you know, this isn't

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Speaker 2: the first time that I have done something like this,

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Speaker 2: but you know, I put I used the pen, and

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Speaker 2: after the activity is concluded, I removed the pen and

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Speaker 2: guess what didn't come out?

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Speaker 1: The cap of the pen?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: Okay? So you were this was a sexual pleasure thing. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: So you shove the pin up your ass in pursuit

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Speaker 1: of sexual stimulation and the cap is now lodged in there.

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Speaker 2: That's correct, yes, okay?

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Speaker 1: And how recently did this take place?

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Speaker 2: This past Friday night?

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Speaker 1: This past Friday night? Okay? And is the pens cap

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Speaker 1: still in there?

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Speaker 2: It is still in there?

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Speaker 1: Okay. And it is currently Wednesday, so it has been

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Speaker 1: about Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday is about it's been about

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Speaker 1: five days since pen cap has been in your ass.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're really driving the point home.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 1: And am I the first person who you came to

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Speaker 1: about this?

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Speaker 2: Yep? That is correct.

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Speaker 1: Have you considered other people who might be better equipped

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Speaker 1: to help you with the situation, perhaps just throwing it

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Speaker 1: out there a medical professional?

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Speaker 2: Of course I have. But here's okay. You know, I

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Speaker 2: call it because I wanted to. Obviously that's the first

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Speaker 2: thing someone would say. But I have my defenses. First

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Speaker 2: of all, it's extremely embarrassing, you know, that's obvious. And

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Speaker 2: second all, I'm not in any serious pain or discomfort,

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Speaker 2: So you know, why would I spend all that money

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Speaker 2: going to the doctor or the emergency room or whatever

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Speaker 2: if it's not a serious issue to my health? You're

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Speaker 2: or you know, if it's not an immediate serious issue,

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Speaker 2: like I'm not in any pain right now.

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Speaker 1: So okay, so you're wait, No, you're just gonna wait

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Speaker 1: until it becomes a problem.

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Speaker 2: Kinda or or until I get the courage to finally go.

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Speaker 1: Do you do this with other things in your life? Like,

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Speaker 1: do you always wait until a situation is a critical

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Speaker 1: emergency until you handle it.

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Speaker 2: I do have a problem with avoiding things.

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Speaker 1: Yes, okay, and you're problem with avoiding things. Has it

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Speaker 1: ever in the past made any problems significantly worse for you?

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Speaker 2: You know it has?

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Speaker 1: Tell it. Tell me about a time where it has.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I kept procrastinating renewing my tags on my car.

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Speaker 2: So I had gotten two tickets and I just paid

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Speaker 2: the fines. You know, it was whatever. And after I

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Speaker 2: paid the fines, I finally did it. I finally went

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Speaker 2: to get my tag renewed, but because it was a

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Speaker 2: year overdue past the year overdue, I had to end

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Speaker 2: up getting a new plate and it was way more

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Speaker 2: money than just renewing the tags.

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Speaker 1: So I guess that's really funny to hear you tell

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Speaker 1: this story while you currently have a pen cap stuck

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Speaker 1: in your ass. Yeah, Adam, I think if there were

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Speaker 1: ever going to be a straw that broke a camel's

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Speaker 1: back situation where you finally decided you're not going to

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Speaker 1: procrastinate anymore and you began your journey toward facing your

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Speaker 1: issues head on, it would absolutely be this one.

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Speaker 2: I cannot argue with that, So.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you go head over to the doctor, tell

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Speaker 1: them that you had a pin cap stuck in your ass?

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Speaker 1: You have a pin cap stuck in your ass, and

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Speaker 1: live in the shame. Realize it's not that bad, and

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Speaker 1: that you should have gone on Saturday. And then next

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Speaker 1: time you're embarrassed or you're procrastinating on something, you'll think

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Speaker 1: back to this and you'll go, Man, you know, I

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Speaker 1: went to the doctor and I told him about the

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Speaker 1: pen that I had in my ass, and lo and behold,

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Speaker 1: he reached in there, he got the pen out, and

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Speaker 1: it wasn't that bad. It wasn't nearly as bad as

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Speaker 1: I had been spending all of this time in my

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Speaker 1: head building it up to be. Maybe this situation is

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Speaker 1: just like that time I had that pen cap stuck

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Speaker 1: in my ass, and I should just handle it head

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Speaker 1: on because it's not as big of a deal as

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Speaker 1: I'm making it out to be. This is your opportunity

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Speaker 1: to learn that lesson.

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Speaker 2: You know, you're kind of right, I really do need

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Speaker 2: to well, Okay, I definitely have.

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Speaker 1: Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, go get that pen cap out

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Speaker 1: of your ass.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it for you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Adam. Anything else gonna say the

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Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I know you don't like when callers read chat.

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Speaker 2: But someone asked how I poop? I poop fine, like

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Speaker 2: it still comes out. I just want them to clarify

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Speaker 2: for anyone wants.

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Speaker 1: Adam Adam, Yes, Adam, go to the doctor.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, by Adam? Bye?

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, Hi le Molly. What's going on with you? Man?

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Speaker 1: Not much.

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Speaker 3: I have a I have a weird thing that's been

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Speaker 3: going on the last few months that I was looking

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Speaker 3: for some insight or advice on what did the screen

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Speaker 3: are put down?

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Speaker 1: Let's let's read it. Uh, Molly, it says here that

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Speaker 1: you have Okay, I'm gonna read this whole thing. Uh okay.

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Speaker 1: It says says that you have a nightmare disorder and

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Speaker 1: you have been having vivid sex dreams that make you

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Speaker 1: feel like you're cheating on your boyfriend. And the sex

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Speaker 1: dreams are of characters that you have created in writing

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Speaker 1: an erotic novel, and you're afraid that you're falling in

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Speaker 1: love with the characters from your dreams, and apparently that's

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Speaker 1: causing you to feel as though you are essentially cheating

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Speaker 1: on your boyfriend with characters that you have created.

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Speaker 3: Uh, so that's mostly true. It started off with right

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Speaker 3: around the same time I started writing this erotic novel

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Speaker 3: last year, I do you know what a fandom is

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Speaker 3: or science fiction?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I know what a fan fa And in uh,

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Speaker 1: in middle school, Uh, kids in my grade were obsessed

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Speaker 1: with writing one direction fan fiction and they and people

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Speaker 1: would like, write me into it and stuff is weird,

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Speaker 1: But no, I am familiar with fan fiction.

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Speaker 3: So okay, okay. So I wrote a fan fiction last year,

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Speaker 3: and obviously it included a embarrassing to say because I'm

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Speaker 3: twenty eight an influencer. And right around that time, I

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Speaker 3: started taking medication for nightmares that I've been suffering my

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Speaker 3: entire life, like every single night, vivid grewesome. I like,

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Speaker 3: I don't even want to say it on the phone

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Speaker 3: because it's like fucked up what my dreams dreams.

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Speaker 5: Would come up with.

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Speaker 3: So while I was writing this, I got put in

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Speaker 3: the medication and I started having these dreams about this influencer.

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Speaker 3: But they weren't just sex dreams. I was falling in

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Speaker 3: love with this influencer, and eventually, as I guess you know,

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Speaker 3: I had as any dreams as I could about him.

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Speaker 3: It transgressed into the kid that sat behind me in

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Speaker 3: Spanish class one night, to my neighbor, to my uh

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Speaker 3: my boyfriend's brother, anyone that could come up with. And

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Speaker 3: they weren't just vivid sex dreams. I fell in love

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Speaker 3: with these people in these dreams. And still I don't

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Speaker 3: know why I'm saying in past tense. And I wake

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Speaker 3: up every morning and look at my partner of nine years,

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Speaker 3: knowing I just had the most magical dream about Cole

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Speaker 3: hirsh You know, it's it's a lot.

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Speaker 5: You have.

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Speaker 1: You have you have dreams where you fall in love

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Speaker 1: with Cole hirsch Well.

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Speaker 3: Actually the sad part about that is I love him

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Speaker 3: a lot. And he was the only dream that we

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Speaker 3: went on a date. And neither one of us had

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Speaker 3: a good time. And I I don't know why it

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Speaker 3: was him specifically, but neither one of us really enjoyed ourselves.

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Speaker 3: We kind of were like looking at our watch. We

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Speaker 3: were like at a hot dog stand waiting to go

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Speaker 3: to Andrew's stand up show. But why I didn't love

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Speaker 3: Cole Hurst in that dream, but my neighbor from when

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Speaker 3: I was a kid growing up that you know that

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Speaker 3: wasn't fun, But people like Cole Hirst, I guess it's

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Speaker 3: a better example.

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Speaker 1: Well anyway, okay, so you're having these dreams about miscellaneous.

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Speaker 1: It's not just people from the internet. It's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: your brother's boyfriend, like just random people are like fictional characters.

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Speaker 1: Is all these people? How long? How long has this

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Speaker 1: been going on for that you've been having these vivid,

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Speaker 1: vivid love dreams about all these these different entities.

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Speaker 3: I started writing my novel and I started being put

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Speaker 3: on the medication probably in November, and it's every I

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Speaker 3: have vivid dreams every night, and I have these love

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Speaker 3: dreams like five nights out of a week.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so they've been since November. So it's been like, God,

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Speaker 1: don't maybe do math right now, Like it's been several

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Speaker 1: months that you've been having these dreams. It's not been

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Speaker 1: like your entire life.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, yeah, like nine months. I've been having nightmares

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Speaker 3: my whole life, but the love dreams, like nine months.

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Speaker 1: And have the love dreams replaced the nightmares? Or some

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Speaker 1: nights it's a nightmare, some nights it's a love dream.

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Speaker 3: Well that's the thing is why I am scared to

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Speaker 3: get off this medication is the medication has stopped the nightmares.

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Speaker 3: I don't have nightmares anymore, but instead they're replaced by

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Speaker 3: these love dreams. So I'm scared that if I get

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Speaker 3: off of it, I'm going to go back into, you know,

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Speaker 3: watching my family get tortured and these horrible things. And

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Speaker 3: it's like a it's like a toss up. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know which which is better because I'm sleeping great.

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Speaker 1: But you know, well, to start here, I assume you

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Speaker 1: have a psychiatrist. That is the person that that prescribed

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Speaker 1: you this medicine. Yes, okay, Have you been to the

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Speaker 1: psychiatrist and told them, hey, not, my medicine working out great,

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Speaker 1: but it's giving me these other dreams that I don't

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Speaker 1: want to have, and now I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: You have you told them that?

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Speaker 3: So I haven't because a lot of psychiatrists are kind

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Speaker 3: of like quacks. They don't really care, especially mental health psychiatrists.

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Speaker 3: They don't really care, just putting you on something and

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Speaker 3: then whatever happens happened. I more so have talked to

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Speaker 3: my therapist about this, and he was the first person

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Speaker 3: I opened up to about my fan fiction, and he

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Speaker 3: told me that he also wrote fan fiction about Dean

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Speaker 3: from Supernatural. I guess when he was younger. So I

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Speaker 3: felt comfortable talking to him about it. But unfortunately, he's

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Speaker 3: my therapist, not my psychiatrist. And with nightmare medications, it's

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Speaker 3: a specific medication that like works for blood pressure, but

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Speaker 3: also works for people with PTSD that have nightmares. It's

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Speaker 3: one of those things where it's not specifically for nightmares,

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Speaker 3: it's somehow in case studies it's also helped this. So

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Speaker 3: I've been apprehensive he's just this old dude.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so okay, so when you tell your therapist that

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Speaker 1: you're having this problem, what is What does your therapist

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Speaker 1: say you if you don't tell your psychiatrist.

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Speaker 3: I guess I haven't talked to him recently about it.

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Speaker 3: I've I can play it out in my head, and

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Speaker 3: I know what he's going to say that you know,

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Speaker 3: it's better than the horrible nightmares where you wake up

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Speaker 3: crying and covered in sweat, So what's the harm? But

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Speaker 3: I don't know it's I don't know if it's a

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Speaker 3: sect with my sex life, with my with my partner

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Speaker 3: or you know what I mean yeah.

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Speaker 1: So so the first like, the first thing I'm going

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Speaker 1: to tell you, and this is what I always say,

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Speaker 1: is like, you know, look, I know why you maybe

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Speaker 1: don't have a trust for your psychiatrist or your therapist,

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Speaker 1: but like, you know, if you're having this issue, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, in with a medication that they're prescribing you,

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Speaker 1: you know, my gecko guy on the computer, recommendation is

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Speaker 1: to tell them about it. But let's see. Okay, but okay,

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Speaker 1: so you should do that. That's the first thing I'll say.

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Speaker 1: But let's say you do that, and then yes, let's

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Speaker 1: say your therapist says, well, you know, the the love

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Speaker 1: dreams are better than the torture dreams. Okay, let's get

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Speaker 1: into that. Why tell me about the conflicting feelings surrounding

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Speaker 1: the love dreams. Why are they such a big problem

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Speaker 1: for you?

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Speaker 3: I mean, they're a big problem. I've been dating my

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Speaker 3: partner for nine years, so obviously I'm madly in love

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Speaker 3: with him. But after nine years, it's not the butterflies.

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Speaker 3: It's not where, you know, having sex every single night.

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Speaker 3: We can't keep our eyes off of each other. But

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Speaker 3: I love him. It's like that stagnant I love you,

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Speaker 3: not these like giant sparks or whatever. And I've heard

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Speaker 3: that this is kind of a thing with specifically women

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Speaker 3: that write romance novels or erotic novels that can actually

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Speaker 3: be kind of detrimental to their love life because they

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Speaker 3: create this ideal man in their brain and then no

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Speaker 3: other man lives up to it because they're literally creating

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Speaker 3: them on paper.

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Speaker 1: Tell me more about that.

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Speaker 3: Yes, so it's it's become a problem because my partner

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Speaker 3: Will couldn't live up to this character I created. And like,

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Speaker 3: the thing about fan fiction is you take this person

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Speaker 3: and the things you like about them, and then you

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Speaker 3: add these all these other things that you don't even

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Speaker 3: know about them. I didn't know Coule Hirsch, like hot dogs,

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Speaker 3: you know, like you create these things in your writing

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Speaker 3: or in your dreams whatever. So it it would turn

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Speaker 3: into it was so weird, dude, because I have these

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Speaker 3: dreams of people that I was never attracted to, I'm

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Speaker 3: not attracted to, and I would still, like in my

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Speaker 3: dream I would wake up or in my dream i'd

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Speaker 3: be so in love with them and I would wake

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Speaker 3: up and have that feeling. And oh no, what I

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Speaker 3: was saying is women can't wake up with boners obviously,

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Speaker 3: but it's like the equivalent of like that, you're just

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Speaker 3: like wanting sex, but it's a weird feeling because it's

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know how to describe it.

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Speaker 1: And so it's is it creating a problem for you

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Speaker 1: because you feel like it is making you to devalue

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Speaker 1: your Did you say he's your husbands or boyfriends.

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Speaker 3: Or he's my we've been together nine years. He's basically

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Speaker 3: my husband without the ranks, So whatever you want, okay.

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Speaker 1: All right, Yeah, let's do significant other nice. So let's

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Speaker 1: do partner perfectly. That's good, that's a good catch all perfect,

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Speaker 1: all right, So your partner, it's uh, do you feel

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Speaker 1: like it's making you value your partner? Liss?

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Speaker 3: I don't know, dude, Like when I first it depends

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Speaker 3: on the nights, the nights where the dreams are so romantic,

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Speaker 3: so beautiful. Yeah, sometimes it'll be the littlest thing he'll

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Speaker 3: slip up on, like, oh, you didn't walk the dog

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Speaker 3: when before I got home from work. Great, and it'll

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Speaker 3: be an extra ooms because I just had the dream

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Speaker 3: the night before that we're so romantic. But if you

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Speaker 3: know we have sex that day it's a little different.

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Speaker 3: It's I don't know if it's I'm still very attracted

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Speaker 3: to him, and I feel like it makes it better

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Speaker 3: that a lot of these dreams now, because my brain

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Speaker 3: has literally run out of catalogs of how many influencer

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Speaker 3: celebrities meant in my life to have sex dreams about

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Speaker 3: that most of them I don't find attractive in real life.

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Speaker 3: So and I'm kind of used to it by now. Also,

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Speaker 3: So I don't.

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Speaker 1: Know, m is this something that you have talked to

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Speaker 1: your partner about?

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Speaker 3: I mean, he's in the other room listening to the stream.

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Speaker 3: I will if you're listening, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Is this something that you're Is this something that your

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Speaker 1: partner is finding out about right this very moment.

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Speaker 3: He just left from the other room. Yeah, basically he

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Speaker 3: knew I wrote the erotic novel and he knew the

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Speaker 3: Influencer was about. But yeah, he did not know any

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Speaker 3: of this. Really.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what should we get him on the phone? Is

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Speaker 1: that would that be helpful?

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Speaker 3: I will, he can be kind of awkward on the phone,

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Speaker 3: but sure, I will Garrison speaker for a mile.

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Speaker 1: All right, Hey, what's up man? What's your name?

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Speaker 6: My name is Will.

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Speaker 3: Are you doing.

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Speaker 1: How are you doing? Will?

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Speaker 6: I'm doing all right. We're very very unexpected change of

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Speaker 6: events tonight, I guess.

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Speaker 1: But so you are? Are are just sort of now

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Speaker 1: hearing all of these these issues and about all these

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Speaker 1: dreams that your partner is having.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I think there was maybe a small things you mentioned,

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Speaker 6: but I guess the scope of it, yeah, was probably

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Speaker 6: not revealed until Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Okay, And how are you? How are you feeling in

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Speaker 1: this moment? What do you what do you make of

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Speaker 1: all of this?

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Speaker 6: You know, I I feel a little bit weird, but

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Speaker 6: I don't feel like I can be mad at someone,

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Speaker 6: So there's subconscious you know what I mean. It's like,

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Speaker 6: of course, I know we everyone has weird. I guess

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Speaker 6: it's like I don't have as many vivid dreams, but

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Speaker 6: I don't. She told me she's had a lot of

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Speaker 6: mess of dreams, and I've never like, I've never held

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Speaker 6: that against her because, like, I feel like you can't

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Speaker 6: hold someone subconscious against them, right, because it's not like

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Speaker 6: something it's not something they can control. That's kind of

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Speaker 6: where I guess I'm looking at it interesting.

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Speaker 1: I mean, what you know, I already told uh, Molly

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Speaker 1: that you know, she should go to get better help

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Speaker 1: from her actual you know, psychiatrist and therapist. But you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean you hearing all of this and and you

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Speaker 1: knowing her as a person very intimately, you know, do

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Speaker 1: do you have any kind of perspective on this issue

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Speaker 1: where things that that you think would be helpful for

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Speaker 1: her to to do and in dealing with with these feelings,

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Speaker 1: especially since they're a lot of these feelings are about

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Speaker 1: your guys' relationship.

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Speaker 6: That's a good question. And honestly, this is a this

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Speaker 6: is a very kind of abstract issue that I don't

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Speaker 6: even know how to really approach it, to be honest,

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Speaker 6: I mean, I guess just being open about it, right,

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Speaker 6: because I mean it's maybe I think maybe part of

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Speaker 6: it is her feeling like she's holding this in and

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Speaker 6: that maybe that's creating the dreams more vividly. I don't know,

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Speaker 6: you know what I mean, Like if you're suppressing something,

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Speaker 6: maybe that's making it more intense. I don't know. No, honestly,

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Speaker 6: I'm not sure. Besides me being open about it, honestly, mm.

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Speaker 1: Hmmm, yeah, man, I think being open about it is

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Speaker 1: uh definitely helps because another thing is and again this

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Speaker 1: is why I you know, I wonder what her actual

365
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Speaker 1: psychology team people would think. But like, is there is

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Speaker 1: there a desire that she asked? Because you know, she

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Speaker 1: said all that, she said she loves you, she said

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Speaker 1: she's attracted to you very very much. But is there

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Speaker 1: like a desire that she has that is not being fulfilled,

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Speaker 1: Not because of anyone's ignorance or because of anyone's malice,

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Speaker 1: but because of because we don't know what it is,

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Speaker 1: because we haven't figured it out, because you guys haven't

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe talked about it enough. And maybe if

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Speaker 1: you guys talked to it, maybe if you were, as

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Speaker 1: you were saying, very open with each other, got down

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Speaker 1: to the bottom of well, what is my subconscious trying

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Speaker 1: to hint that here you could find a good solution.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the solution is, but maybe that's

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Speaker 1: a way that you could try to find it.

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Speaker 6: No, that makes sense. Maybe there's some bigger issue that

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Speaker 6: needs to be addressed here. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: What do you think, Molly, I mean, I think you're

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Speaker 3: onto something. It's we're a little vanilla in the bedroom,

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Speaker 3: so it wouldn't hard to maybe explore That's, like I said,

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Speaker 3: when you've been together nine years. It's a static level

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Speaker 3: and the erotica I wrote, there's a reason why I've

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Speaker 3: only let two people in my life read it because

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Speaker 3: it is pretty raunchy and nasty. So and Will's read it.

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00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 3: I mean, it wouldn't hurt if maybe we I don't know,

390
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 3: tried some stuff in there. Maybe I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, so I mean here, while we're here,

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Speaker 1: what are we thinking? Are we thinking you know, some

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00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: role play situation, you know, introducing new elements like what

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00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 1: maybe you could brainstorm different ways to spice that you

395
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 1: don't have to do it on this call right now

396
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: if you don't want it, but but maybe.

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Speaker 4: You think of different Okay.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you could think of ways to spice things. I

399
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 1: don't know. If you want Will to role play as

400
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 1: Coal hirsh put on glasses and a mustang.

401
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Speaker 3: I mean he kind of wild, to be honest. He

402
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 3: has a coal Hurst vibe if Coal had a beard

403
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Speaker 3: and was six threes, but everything else he's very cold Hurst.

404
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,199
Speaker 3: Does he have a beard? Does he have a big,

405
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Speaker 3: full beard? You've seen him recently in.

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Speaker 1: DC, right, it's just kind of mustache. I think, I

407
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 1: don't know, but uh, okay, but but anyway, I think

408
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: I think, if anything, if we could, I feel like

409
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: a takeaway from talking about all of this is that

410
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Speaker 1: maybe there is some unfulfilled desire within you. And it's

411
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 1: really actually kind of beautiful to hear you the way

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Speaker 1: that you guys are are so cool and open with

413
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Speaker 1: each other, that you you both seem like you are

414
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: are very uh on board to figuring out what that

415
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 1: desire is. And I think that if you both maintain

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Speaker 1: that uh desire to get to the bottom of the issue,

417
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 1: then then then you'll get there. So do that talk

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Speaker 1: with each other. And also, I know you think you're

419
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 1: psychiatrist a quat is a quack, and I don't know,

420
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 1: maybe he is, but you know they're they're the one

421
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: giving of the drugs, so you should tell them what's

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Speaker 1: going on.

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Speaker 3: Right, You're right, maybe I need my milligrams adjusted and

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Speaker 3: I'll talk to I have an appointment with my therapist

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Speaker 3: and my psychiatrist actually this week, so I'll talk to them.

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Speaker 1: You know what you should You should see a sex therapist.

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Speaker 1: There's like therapists that specifically, oh they they're a therapists

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Speaker 1: that specifically do this kind of shit.

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Speaker 3: That's because we we saw a couple's therapists. At the

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00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 3: beginning of Quarantine, we moved in together after being together

431
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 3: for seven years, and we saw a couple of therapists

432
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Speaker 3: just on and off. But that would be interesting because

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Speaker 3: I didn't even think of that avenue. What do you

434
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 3: think will I forgot about that? Yeah? Thank you, Lyle.

435
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 3: That's actually a good idea.

436
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, what if they tell you? What if they tell you?

437
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: The answer is to do Cole Hirsch.

438
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 3: Was about to say, it's Cole I live in Chicago.

439
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 3: He's he lived here. Yeah, I think he's the epicenter

440
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 3: of it all when it gets the crux of it.

441
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 3: But I do promise you he is not what the

442
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: erotic novel was about. But now I'm thinking I should

443
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 3: maybe write a short story about him. I don't know.

444
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 1: Well, I promise not to tell him that you had

445
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,959
Speaker 1: this dream.

446
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 6: He won't he won't hear this.

447
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 3: Hopefully, Yeah, hopefully he won't hear this. Uh.

448
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: Is there anything you guys want to say to the

449
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?

450
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 3: And I had this pre planned out And it's awful

451
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 3: that the conversation took up so much about Cole Hurst

452
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 3: because I have to ask, is he as adorable in

453
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,239
Speaker 3: person as I think he is.

454
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: He is a total cutie PETUITI.

455
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 3: God, damn it, Lyle, thank you so much.

456
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: Hate to say it, but he's an adorable little man.

457
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 3: I knew he would be. Well, you got competition. I'm sorry.

458
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 1: Well anyway, Molly will good luck to you guys, and

459
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 1: thank you for calling.

460
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 5: You so much.

461
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 3: Thank you, yes bye.

462
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 1: She brought up a very interesting dilemma, which is like

463
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: she had this desire. You know, she was in She's

464
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 1: in a nine year relationship, clearly, very in love with

465
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: her partner, very attracted to her partner. Clearly you can

466
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 1: tell by the way that they interact with at least

467
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 1: I got to read by the way they interacted with

468
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: each other that they were very much on the same

469
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: team with one another. And I got the sense that

470
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: it was a good relationship. But she was craving. And

471
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is the medication fucking with hormones.

472
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: This is where a psychiatrist that knows shit about the

473
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: brain could give an actual opinion about this, And that's

474
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: why I say that she should come go to that person.

475
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: But maybe the fucking medicine is causing something in her brain.

476
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: That's being like, well, no, I missed the butterflies of

477
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: young love and of of you know, or sexual tension

478
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 1: and shit and and you know, of these things that

479
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: you don't get when you are in a very loving

480
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: old relationship. Maybe, And yeah, I guess at the end

481
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 1: of the day with them, the fact that they were

482
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: so willing to come together to work out the issue,

483
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 1: it felt like it's a good sign to me. And

484
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: I hope that she does go to that all these

485
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: whatever therapists people, and I hope she finds a good

486
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 1: answer for her to you know, continue to be satisfied

487
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: in this relationship, because it sounds like they have a

488
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 1: nice thing going. And she fucking shot out to Will too.

489
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 1: He's kind of a champion for being super cool here

490
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 1: and all that stuff, you know. I mean that takes

491
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 1: that takes a lot. So yeah, I think shout out

492
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: to both of them for calling hello, Hi, is this Kristen?

493
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 4: This is is this the geg it is?

494
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: How's it going, Kristin?

495
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 3: It is.

496
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 5: Going a little tumultuously, but we are We're making it work.

497
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: Tumultuously. That's a great word. I got to start using

498
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: that more often. There are many, many great applications for

499
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: that word, Why is it? Why is it going tumultuously?

500
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 5: There are I would say a lot of things are

501
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 5: up in the air. I just turned twenty seven, and

502
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 5: I've had this fear of twenty seven for a very

503
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 5: long time, and I feel like things are about to

504
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 5: change very drastically. I don't know if I'm ready.

505
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: In what way are they going to change very drastically?

506
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 5: Living situation is the big one, ending a relationship that

507
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 5: is long overdue?

508
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: Okay? Do you do you want me to uh say

509
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: what you told the call screener.

510
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 5: If it makes sense or or I can do it?

511
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 4: Uh?

512
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 5: Yeah?

513
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: It says here that you are in three relationships currently, uh,

514
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: one of which does not know about the others.

515
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, and that's the one that needs end.

516
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: That's the one that needs to end. Okay. So how

517
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: long have you been in all three of these relationships?

518
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 5: For? I would say a little under a year. But

519
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 5: I guess I should preface with I feel personally, and

520
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 5: I know that it's not a widely accepted thing, but

521
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 5: I am polyamorous, and I guess that's just my truth.

522
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 1: You sound very far as I can express.

523
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 5: It at this point in my life. Well, it's I

524
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 5: have never been in a relationship that I have not

525
00:32:56,560 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 5: emotionally or physically straight from them, And I guess it

526
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 5: took me a while to come to terms with why

527
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 5: I was doing that. And I don't know if I'm

528
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 5: just an absolute attention horn. I just feel the need

529
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 5: to like have all these different outlets or inlets interesting.

530
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 1: Okay, so so listen. So so I let's touch on

531
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: that real quick, because uh, yeah, man, I think people

532
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 1: should be able to people should be able to do

533
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 1: whatever they want, have as many boyfriends, girlfriends as they

534
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 1: want whatever, obviously, as long as you know, ideally everybody

535
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: is on the same page of the agreement that they

536
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: are signed up for, right, But you are, you said

537
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 1: to yourself, just now, I am you feel like you're

538
00:33:55,920 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: doing this because you you need or want all of

539
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 1: the attention that that it gives you. Is that correct?

540
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 5: I it's a it's a question that I have, and

541
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 5: it's probably a good amount of validity to it. But

542
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 5: I also just love people, and I feel like there's

543
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 5: a lot of amazing people in the world, and I

544
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 5: want to like show love where I feel it's deserved

545
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 5: or where it feels right and it comes off as

546
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,759
Speaker 5: slutty or you know, whatever you want to call it.

547
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 7: Well, we're not talking, we're not We're not talking about

548
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,760
Speaker 7: you know, if something is slutty or trying to label

549
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 7: anything right now, I'm just trying to get to, like,

550
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:49,359
Speaker 7: what your feelings are about yourself and the way you're

551
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 7: living your life.

552
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:58,800
Speaker 1: Why do you feel like you you need so much attention?

553
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 5: I think it's because when I was younger, I always

554
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 5: felt left out, and maybe this is my way of

555
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 5: making up for it.

556
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 1: Okay, now, why have you not told the one person

557
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: that you're in a relationship with that you are seeing

558
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 1: other people.

559
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 5: I so when I met him, I was very open

560
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 5: about my past and about how I feel about relationships

561
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 5: and how an open relationship would be my ideal situation.

562
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 5: And that's kind of like the only thing I really wanted.

563
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 5: And then COVID hit and all of this sudden. I

564
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 5: was living with him when I had only known him

565
00:35:53,960 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 5: for like six months, and that conversation kind of just

566
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 5: got swept under the rug. And when I've brought it up,

567
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 5: like more recently, it's kind of dismissed as, oh, where

568
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 5: you just want to go and fuck other people? And

569
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 5: makes me feel very shitty about how I feel, and

570
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 5: I do. I have a lot of love for this person.

571
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 5: But and that's why I guess I'm still in this

572
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 5: relationship is because it's.

573
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: Been Kristen, how long have you been dating this person

574
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: with him not knowing that you are dating other people

575
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: as well?

576
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 5: Two years? Two and a half years.

577
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: You've been dating him for two and a half years,

578
00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: and the entire time you've been dating other people.

579
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 5: I've slept with a few people. I call it dating

580
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:17,439
Speaker 5: emotionally entertained other people. But I guess within the past

581
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,839
Speaker 5: year it's come become more serious with two of.

582
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 1: Them, and and and this this one guy has no

583
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 1: idea that any of this is happening.

584
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 5: I think maybe deep down he does know, but maybe

585
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:47,760
Speaker 5: he wants to pretend or it's easier to to just ignore.

586
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 1: Do you do you really love this guy?

587
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 5: I love him as a person, and I feel very

588
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 5: connected to him. And the way we met was very

589
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 5: just felt like I knew him for a long time.

590
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: Mm hmm and mm hmm.

591
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 5: You know, you just get kind of stucked up in these.

592
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 1: Things, yeah, Chris Christ, Christen Christ, you need to leave

593
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: this guy alone because you're fucking with him. You're you've

594
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: been working with him for two years, this guy, and

595
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,759
Speaker 1: it's not cool. Uh, it is not fair to this guy.

596
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,359
Speaker 1: You've been fucking with him, and like, you know, here's

597
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: the thing, man, is you sound like you have all

598
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: these complicated feelings and emotions of how you, uh you know,

599
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: want to live your life, how you want to move forward,

600
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: how you want to have relationships with other people, and

601
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 1: before you start involving other people in your own uh

602
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 1: uh you know, uh fuckery of figuring out we all

603
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 1: we all, we all have fuckery going on in our

604
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: brains of how we want to live our lives and

605
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: have relationships with other people. And that's totally cool, and

606
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: it just becomes not cool when you start involving other

607
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: people into your fuckery. So you know, it's okay for

608
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: you to have this journey and to not know what

609
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:32,919
Speaker 1: you want and how you want to uh live your life,

610
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 1: but don't wrap other people up into it, and don't

611
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: and don't do that for two years. So leave that.

612
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: Leave this guy alone, let him go and live his

613
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 1: life and not you know, live this lie for two years.

614
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: It's it's it's okay for you to be struggling with

615
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: what you want and what you need. But you you

616
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: can't do it at the a hest of others.

617
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 5: Yeah. I have tried, actually, and he makes it very difficult.

618
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 5: And that's no excuse.

619
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 1: It's it's totally not you are You're you're in you're

620
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,399
Speaker 1: in control here, Kristen. You can go talk to him

621
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: right now and clear this up. And and and and

622
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not I'm a get go on the internet.

623
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: I'm here to tell you how to live your life.

624
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: And I'm no moral authority. I never want to be

625
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 1: a moral authority or tell people what is right and

626
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 1: what is wrong. But you you have to you you

627
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 1: can't be fucking with this guy for two years. Yeah,

628
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: it's very not cool. So Kristen, listen. You sound like

629
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: you need to go to an actual therapist or or

630
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 1: if not, or if not, go to an actual therapist,

631
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 1: at least take some time alone where you can deal

632
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: with all this stuff without you fucking up other people's lives.

633
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate the brutal. Not brutal, it's the

634
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 5: warranted honesty.

635
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to tell you what to do

636
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,919
Speaker 1: with your life, but I will a little bit leave

637
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 1: leave leave this guy alone because I don't know him. Yeah,

638
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 1: is it a guy? Yes, Okay, leave this guy alone.

639
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 1: Let him go live his life. Let him you know.

640
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: I mean, he's gonna be, you know, upset because you

641
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 1: fucked to them for two years and you shouldn't have

642
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: done that. But whatever you did, and you can't change

643
00:41:54,200 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 1: back time, but don't don't dig further in to this

644
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,399
Speaker 1: and go let him live his life. And then you

645
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 1: go have to go on your own journey of figuring

646
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 1: out what what the fuck it is you want and

647
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 1: how you want to continue forward. But you can't keep

648
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,760
Speaker 1: fucking with other people while you're doing that, and and

649
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 1: and and that's that's kind of all I really have

650
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: to say about that. But is is there anything else

651
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 1: that you want to say about any of this or

652
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 1: to the people of the computer before we go, Well, I.

653
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 5: Just want to say thank you and to everyone, live

654
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 5: your truth and don't get caught into something that you're

655
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 5: not capable of.

656
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you, Kristen, thank you.

657
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 8: Oh my god, two years, two years, Christian, I don't know,

658
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 8: And I'm thinking I've been thinking about this a lot.

659
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: Uh. Yeah, all that we have people call in all

660
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: the time, who you know talk about doing uh, you know,

661
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:32,240
Speaker 1: bad ship, right, cheating on their uh significant others, fucking

662
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 1: committing crimes of just you know, all this ship. And

663
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, I could see, I could sit

664
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: here on the phone and I could I could yell

665
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 1: and go you're an asshole, fuck you. But where we

666
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: don't get anywhere, We don't learn anything, We just you know,

667
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: it's it's it's almost a masturbratory to do that, because

668
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 1: all it is is just reflecting anger onto the It

669
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 1: just it to me. It doesn't get anywhere. Uh, And

670
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: that's why I don't do it. And not to say that,

671
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: the the and the and the and not to say that.

672
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 1: The only alternative is is to go, well, no, you

673
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 1: didn't do anything bad. No you are Actually I don't.

674
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm really not concerned with, uh, trying to

675
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 1: label somebody as a good or a bad person. That's

676
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 1: not productive to me, because you don't what happens now, Okay,

677
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: you're a good person, great, So what what You're a

678
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: bad person? Great? So what what do we do it?

679
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: It's just it's useless to me, and I don't That's

680
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 1: why I'm not obsessed with the the the judgment thing,

681
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:56,719
Speaker 1: not even as like some sort of holly lovey thing.

682
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: It's just like, we can can we don't. When you

683
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 1: judge a person and on a thing you don't, we

684
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 1: can't go. We can't get anywhere. Yeah, So with something

685
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 1: like that, you know, I mean clearly that woman is

686
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: clearly uh has all this, has all this. You know,

687
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: she has no idea what the fuck she wants to do,

688
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 1: which is fine, nobody does. I mean, some people do whatever.

689
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:37,359
Speaker 1: We're all at different points of our thing. But yeah,

690
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 1: she's got to figure that out. She's got to figure

691
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 1: out and she has got it. Not did I feel

692
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 1: bad for this guy that she's been stringing along and

693
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 1: fucking with. You know, she's gotta she's got to stop

694
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 1: fucking with this guy. And I hope she eventually works

695
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 1: out what ever. And I hope that the guy that

696
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,959
Speaker 1: she was fucking with works out his whatever. But yeah, man,

697
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:12,800
Speaker 1: it's the whole thing. Hello, Hey, is this lie is?

698
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 1: How's it going? Man?

699
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 4: I'm doing quite well. I'm doing quite well. That's the best.

700
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: You have a very soft, secretive voice.

701
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 4: No, I'm assure you I don't have I don't have

702
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 4: any the big secrets I would say an open book.

703
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 1: Okay, well, if you're an open book, tell us what

704
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:42,560
Speaker 1: is in the book.

705
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, recently on the pages, I've had this issue.

706
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 4: I'm calling it a nostalgia attack. So basically, I get

707
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:03,959
Speaker 4: overwhelmed with businessstalgic feeling and it's gotten to the point

708
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 4: where I try to I try to recreate this. Recently,

709
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 4: it happened after taking some some edibles. It affected me

710
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 4: a lot, and I tried to recreate my childhood bedroom

711
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 4: like a frenzy. It was really weird. Mm hmm.

712
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. It says that you have I think you have.

713
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: You have something that you refer to as nostalgia attacks,

714
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 1: and that these nostalgia attacks are what attempt are what

715
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:50,399
Speaker 1: caused you to attempt to recreate your childhood bedroom. Tell

716
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 1: me more about this nostalgia attack. What is that?

717
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 4: Well, so it's kind of a mix of anxiety for me.

718
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:03,719
Speaker 4: I would say, like, it's like, I'm I can't go

719
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 4: back to the past, so I can try and recreate

720
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 4: those memories and maybe that'll that'll bring me something. I

721
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 4: don't know.

722
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:13,839
Speaker 1: It was.

723
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 4: I tried to get the I tried to get the

724
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 4: lighting right. I tried to watch the same thing on

725
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 4: the TV. I found that commercials really really hit deep

726
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 4: for me because they played more than like actual TV shows,

727
00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 4: so like hearing jingles and stuff like that. It was

728
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 4: it was really fascinating.

729
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:38,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, is there like a so these nostalgia attacks as

730
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 1: you call them, But tell me, tell me. I'm gonna

731
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: tell me if this is accurate. So you have some

732
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:51,360
Speaker 1: form of anxiety that you seek comfort from by putting

733
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 1: yourself mentally in the past.

734
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 4: I think so, Yeah, I'm at a I'm in I'm

735
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 4: in college right now, so I've been focusing on the

736
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 4: future a lot. So I think since every action has

737
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 4: an equal opposite reaction, like it's just sending me back

738
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:10,360
Speaker 4: kind of mentally interesting.

739
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: Interesting. So these things that you're doing to try and

740
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:23,399
Speaker 1: recreate the past for yourself, do you believe that any

741
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: of them are causing you any sort of harm or

742
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 1: distracting you from anything, or are negative things for you

743
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 1: in your life at all?

744
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:43,400
Speaker 4: I think, Well, one question I've been worried about lately

745
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 4: is if I focus too much on the past, am

746
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 4: I wasting the present? And so it feels like I'm

747
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,799
Speaker 4: just wasting time by focusing on the past, and like

748
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:58,359
Speaker 4: repressing that feeling feels like it's not doing me any good.

749
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 4: But also I have like memory, Like it feels like

750
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,719
Speaker 4: I have terrible memory too, So like being able to

751
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 4: remember anything is important to me.

752
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,319
Speaker 1: Tell me about the future. What do you see when

753
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: you look at the future? Are you? Are you excited

754
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 1: about the future.

755
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:22,359
Speaker 4: I don't know. I'm I'm more curious than anything, just

756
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 4: to see what would happen. I feel like that's my motivator.

757
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 4: I don't know exactly what job field I'll be going

758
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 4: into after college, so like it'll be interesting to see

759
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 4: what opportunities prop up.

760
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:40,919
Speaker 1: Okay, So, uh, you approach the future with curiosity and

761
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 1: it does the the whole you know, you clinging to

762
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 1: the past, trying to recreate it by listening to the

763
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 1: free creditreport dot com jingles Uh cause.

764
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 3: You to.

765
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 1: H Does that have a damper on that curiosity? Does

766
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 1: it not allow you you to dive into that curiosity

767
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,280
Speaker 1: with full force because you're still holding back to something

768
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:08,839
Speaker 1: or is it a relatively harmless thing.

769
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 4: I think I think it's holding me back. I would say, like, Okay,

770
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 4: I can't seem to like move on, you know, like

771
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 4: I can't go back to the past, even though I

772
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 4: really want to, because I feel like I I didn't

773
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:27,839
Speaker 4: appreciate it as much as I should have, and I'm

774
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:31,479
Speaker 4: just forced to keep on going, tucking along.

775
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,880
Speaker 1: I have a little I have I have an idea

776
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:37,319
Speaker 1: for you. Actually, I have an idea for you. Do

777
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 1: you do you have a journal? Do you give it?

778
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 1: Do you give a journal at all?

779
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 4: I used to. I uh, I did it when I

780
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:49,799
Speaker 4: was deep in Christianity, so I've kind of had bad

781
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:53,360
Speaker 4: relations with it or like thoughts on it. It was

782
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 4: a prayer journal.

783
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,239
Speaker 1: Okay, I think you know it's fine. I've I've I've

784
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 1: been I've been hanging out with a lot of my

785
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 1: friends from high school lately and talking with them, and

786
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 1: when we talk, we talk a lot about the past,

787
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 1: and that felt that feels really good, and we sort

788
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:14,719
Speaker 1: of when we get together, we're like historians of ourselves

789
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 1: in a weird way, and there's something about recording that

790
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 1: history that almost helps you move on from it. So

791
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,920
Speaker 1: my little idea is you should you should take a

792
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 1: little bit of time instead of recreating your childhood bedroom sitting, like,

793
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 1: write out the history of yourself on a whatever word

794
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 1: document or a journal, however you like to do it.

795
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 1: You know, really like jot down your history, even as

796
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 1: a broad outline, because it'll make you feel like you

797
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 1: exist and you did it and maybe it'll help you

798
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 1: move on from it. And then once you've recorded your

799
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 1: history up until where you are now, it's almost like

800
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 1: you've you've written a book. And and what do you

801
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: do when you are reading a book with pages you

802
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 1: can't put down? Right, You're like, well, okay, well, how's

803
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:14,240
Speaker 1: the story end? And it almost will will feed into

804
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 1: your curiosity a little bit, right, because if you record

805
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:20,720
Speaker 1: your history up until now and then you're at now,

806
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 1: then you can start doing your daily journals if you

807
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 1: have time to do an that ship. But uh, then

808
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: you can approach each day with Okay, how does this

809
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 1: feed into, you know, just the overall narrative of my life? Uh?

810
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:37,080
Speaker 1: And and then maybe that gives you an opportunity to

811
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 1: take this curiosity. I love that you you had were

812
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 1: able to articulate that that you feel a curiosity for

813
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 1: the future. You can really dive into that curiosity, you know,

814
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 1: and see where it takes you. Because I feel like

815
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 1: you have this curiosity, but because you're busy, you know,

816
00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:00,360
Speaker 1: looking up the intro for camp Laslow on YouTube tube.

817
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 1: You're not letting yourself fully dive into it. You're laughing

818
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,959
Speaker 1: because you actually did that. I know that you got

819
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 1: to dive into you know, and you know why I

820
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: know you did because I did it. It worked it

821
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 1: up lately, all those shows had great interest. But anyway, yes,

822
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 1: what do you what do you think about all that?

823
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 4: I think I'm not much of a writer, so I

824
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 4: feel like it'll be a good experience to try and

825
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 4: learn how to write along with that too, Like it

826
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 4: won't feel like a waste of time, like learn how

827
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 4: to write, get his skill on the past the future.

828
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing about writing is I do a

829
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: jo and I do a journal, and when i'm my

830
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: journal is not meant to ever be seen by anybody.

831
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 1: And these these writings, they're not meant to be seen

832
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 1: by anybody. It's it's only when you try to write

833
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 1: a thing that you are thinking about showing to other

834
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,759
Speaker 1: people is when it it's hard, you know, So at

835
00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 1: least keep that. But but yeah, man, I hope I

836
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,919
Speaker 1: hope you dive into your curiosity because because that could

837
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 1: take you two diffinite ways and probably make you a

838
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: little bit happier. You know because the past is all

839
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 1: rigid and defined, and the future is is infinite. As

840
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 1: they say, the world is at the end. Actually, I

841
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 1: do know why I did the voice that I did

842
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 1: that voice at the end because I was starting to

843
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 1: say something really corny, and the voice was my way

844
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 1: of acknowledging that what I was saying was corny, in

845
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 1: the hopes that it would make it less corny. Does

846
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 1: it easy to do?

847
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 4: I get it.

848
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:36,800
Speaker 1: Is there anything you want to say to people the

849
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: computer before we go? Jacob?

850
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 3: Uh, I don't know.

851
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 4: Look the look up the camps of the theme song.

852
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 4: It's a good one. It's a good one.

853
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 1: How does it go? Do you know how it goes?

854
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 4: I have no idea. I might look it up after

855
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 4: this and head down memory lane start writing about it.

856
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 1: Thanks for calling Jacob.

857
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 4: About Team Network. They have bang a theme song. Thank you.

858
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:08,799
Speaker 1: Hold On It's fucking hold on hold on uh camp

859
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 1: camp Laslow theme song lyrics, Oh it's the fucking it's

860
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 1: the there was There were two scouts who made a friend,

861
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:26,800
Speaker 1: and Laslow was his name. Oh l z l a

862
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 1: z l o l a z l o Okay, it's

863
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 1: the I forgot. It's a parody of the Bingo song.

864
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 1: I'm not going to sing the rest of it, but

865
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: but now we know what it was.

866
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 8: Deacon goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

867
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:48,239
Speaker 3: Dere Beacon goes doing his eye's teaching you Cloud on

868
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:49,800
Speaker 3: the memory line.

869
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 1: But he's not really an expert.