1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: Well, come back to another episode about coove me this 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: COVID nineteen edition. I'm your host, Kevin Pollack, Yes that 3 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,880 Speaker 1: Kevin is that. Well, if you watch our tek like 4 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: I do, then you know all about a little item 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: coming soon called pizza Cupcake New York's as excited as 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: I am. I'll tell you this. It's already available in 7 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: Jamie and I love them pizza cupcake. But I digress. 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: Let's meet. I'll come a shower, no particular orders. Say 9 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,879 Speaker 1: hey to Craig Atkowski. Count how many weddings have you 10 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: been to in the last five years? And did you 11 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: enjoy any of them? I honestly think it's close to 12 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: zero and enjoyment. I can only remember one. I think 13 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 1: I went to one and uh it was fun. It 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: was outdoors and we camped out afterwards. And I don't 15 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 1: camp uh, and I don't recommend it. I don't want 16 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: to do it again, but for as a one of 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: one time thing. Yeah, I think one wedding every five 18 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: years is a pretty good pace because generally I do 19 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 1: not enjoy them, and one camping period is a pretty 20 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: good pace. Yeah, this is what I'm sensing. Uh, well, 21 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: camping like with tents and sleeping bags. Yeah, yeah, the 22 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: whole thing, like outdoors, ye, and like laying on the ground. 23 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: You don't want to pitch that tent indoors. It's just 24 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: not good. Uh, And thank you for that. And now 25 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado, Papa, please preach. What is your ice cream 26 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 1: go to and has it changed in the last three years? Ah? Yeah, 27 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: that's right, that's a complicated question. I'd rarely talk about 28 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: those pizza cup cakes. Yes, dude, I saw that episode, 29 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: and you know there's you know, you watch Shark Tank 30 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: is great and every now and then one product fucking 31 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: speaks to you to your insides. Right, Yeah, that product 32 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: did that for me. But let me just tell you. 33 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: Are they You'll soon have a box coming your way. 34 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: I will send you. I will absolutely send you a 35 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: fucking fox. Jesus, we like Joey, give me this, give 36 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: me this time. Are they savory cup It is a 37 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 1: cupcake that taste exactly like a pizza and it's the 38 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 1: only frozen to heat and eat food that Jamie gives 39 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,359 Speaker 1: a giant thumbs up. She thinks all sort of frozen pizza. 40 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: Turns out, you gotta tell James because he made pizza 41 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: with cinnamon bread before. Yeah, no, I gotta yeah. Well, 42 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: first I'll have Chris review and then we'll we'll drive 43 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: James slowly insane. Hey, there's a tool saying everybody, yeah, 44 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: a tulo. If given the opportunity, would you take a 45 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: seat on a mission to the moon. No, no, no, no, no, no, 46 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: no no not. That's that's experiment. If they're asking me 47 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,919 Speaker 1: to be there, that's means something went wrong, all right, 48 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: and they're not trying to send the best in the 49 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: brightest They're like, oh, let's try this and then we'll 50 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 1: send some billionaires Upren't the billionaires going? Kevin? You gotta 51 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: ask questions, all right? Why I spectrum calling me when 52 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 1: I don't have spectrum? You know? Yeah, they were just texting. Maybe, yes, 53 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,519 Speaker 1: it's a legitimate question. Um, I wish the bot would 54 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: have called. That would have been awesome. What the hell? 55 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: It's Caroline Cotter Smarter Carter favorite brand of peanut butter 56 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: and favorite thing to do with it. I don't well, 57 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not. I'm not cuckoo for any kind 58 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: of nut butter, but I'll go with the one I 59 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: have in my fridge. It's a Trader Joe's And listen, 60 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: here's the thing I really don't like. I understand why 61 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: people like it natural peanut butter. There's too much freaking 62 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: oil in it, but I don't want the sugar firm 63 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: regular kind. So do you store it upside down? Okay, listen, 64 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: I've done that, and you know I got oil over everything. Yes, 65 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: the lid wasn't screwed a in between when I put 66 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: it back, but it has fucking wrecked my cabinets. And 67 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: I just moved in here like a couple of months ago, 68 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: and I had to cleaned everything, and it's sucking reck 69 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,599 Speaker 1: Did you say you put your peanut butter in the 70 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: fridge to Uh? Sometimes it's in the fridge. I don't 71 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,559 Speaker 1: know if I said that, but sometimes I do both. 72 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 1: I'm a fresh guy. And what do I cook with it? Um? 73 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: You know what's good is I mean a little little 74 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: peanut butter. I think that was a question. It was 75 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: what do you do with it? Eggs perhaps screaming that question, 76 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 1: I'd like to cook some might peanut butter. Yes, and last, 77 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: but get fucked if you think of least it's Joey 78 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 1: Greer the Tingler. When's the ship coming? What's that my nickname? 79 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:07,359 Speaker 1: Yea the Tingler? Yeah, I'm into it. When is the 80 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: ship coming? Is out yous um asking questions? Can I 81 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: now as a follow up, the ship ain't coming. We're 82 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 1: stuck here, so strap in and get used to it. 83 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: All right? This is who we got? Oh? Is it 84 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: all right? Let's do a damn show. All of our 85 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: scene suggestions to gather from your listener emails or are 86 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: from our patreonpas. To become a patron supporter of the 87 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 1: show and enjoy exclusive content and other perks, such as 88 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,039 Speaker 1: a now recording video of what we're doing, just head 89 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: on over to the patreon dot com slash I'll give 90 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 1: me this if you'd like to submit a scenes adjusted 91 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: by your email. Yeah, we're taking those. I'm reading them 92 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: and I'm writing them down. Please write to the podcast 93 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 1: that your name here at alcome to this dot com 94 00:05:56,040 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 1: that's your name here at uh Oh it was almost 95 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 1: like I was in church. Scene one comes from patroon 96 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: v I P. John Bander, who simply wrote a scene 97 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:16,160 Speaker 1: idea going on vacation to a natural disaster. He's a 98 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 1: car ready, is it loaded? Can we go? Yes? Can 99 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,679 Speaker 1: we go? Yes? Yes? Where the kids where the kids 100 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: sign my switch, can't blign my blade. They're looking for 101 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: their switch in their blade. I add you to help them, 102 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: but instead you're outside, Yes, having a smoke. That's what 103 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: I do before were going a long drive. That's right, 104 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: Just do it and blow it into my face. I 105 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: like that, Thank you? Yeah, bet, honey? Did you look 106 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 1: in the dock? Can't find my blade? Did you look 107 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,359 Speaker 1: in the knife cabinet? Okay? Calling them one, honey, and 108 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 1: not the other one? I don't think that's well. One 109 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: is my least favorite, and I'm good. Do you want 110 00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: me to lie to my children about that? Okay, get 111 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: in here, baby, honey, Sweetie, it's in the dog Sweetie, 112 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: got my play? Okay, Hello, hello, Parkinson's where you hit it? Hey, Jim, 113 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: we are driving across country all the way. That's right. 114 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: We're gonna we're gonna start in uh here, in in 115 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: in Chicago. We're gonna, Yep, we're gonna. Okay, honey, I 116 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: don't know he didn't He didn't finish his cigarette before 117 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: you asked that question. So I think you caught him 118 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: a little off guard. Yep, a little off guard and 119 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: a little in guard. If you know what I'm saying, Jim, 120 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: we're gonna head west to mr Tsunami California. I mean, hi, 121 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: Mr dear Born, you got this, you got this. We're 122 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: going to tsunami. That's it. Are you gonna see that 123 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: tsunami on the west coast? Yeah, yeah, we're headed right 124 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: to it. Well, that's wiped out in a big part 125 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: of California. That's the good news. We bought some property 126 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: in Nevada and and Arizona. Okay, Well, the odds of 127 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: that tsunami still being going by the time you get there, Well, 128 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: that's the thing, Tommy, Tommy, is that a thing to 129 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: being going? Honey? You know it's being going. And you 130 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: know this is why I said we should have been 131 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: going yesterday when we had it would have a better 132 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: chance of catching the tsunami. After you're checking in both 133 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,319 Speaker 1: of our properties, Jim, this is all before we get 134 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: in the car, Mr Mayor, we uh, we just want 135 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 1: to talk to you, because we got the billboards that 136 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: say the tsunamis here, but technically it's over. Um. This 137 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 1: tourism campaign is um. We put a lot of money 138 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 1: into it. Let's keep it going. Uh sure, Mr Mayor. 139 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: I just want to say that you know are injured, 140 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: and uh, and I know we want you want to 141 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: get the economy going. You always say number one, get 142 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: the economy going. But is this you know your your 143 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: your wife and children are in the hospital and we 144 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: put a lot of money into this terism at people 145 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: need to see it injured. We gotta pump those numbers up. 146 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:26,719 Speaker 1: People have to come and see the disaster. Visit the 147 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 1: West coast, Visit visit all the places that were destroyed today. 148 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, he's moving so much out of the frame. 149 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: It's hard for me to keep him in the middle. 150 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 1: Chase me. Let's go. It's gold. You have to get it. 151 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 1: Mr Mayor. The best part of having you is Mayor 152 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:55,199 Speaker 1: is kidding you? Yeah? Mr Dearborn, Mr dear Born, what 153 00:09:55,520 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 1: is it, Brendan? Can you come with us? Well, I 154 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: I haven't left Chicago in many years. I know I 155 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: heard about your family and the fire. Yeah, the local 156 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: authorities want me to stay here. But what if you 157 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 1: just came. I'll let you hold my blade. Well that's 158 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 1: a that's a fine blade there, Brendan. Thanks. Is it 159 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: true that you used to have a kid who was 160 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: my age? I did? I did? Then that damn fire. 161 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 1: What a way to go. I will be a fugitive 162 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: if I if I go with you. But I've always 163 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: wanted to see a tsunami in the odds that that 164 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,319 Speaker 1: water is still hanging there like a solid wall in 165 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 1: the air days later. Uh, Now, you better play it 166 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: with your parents. Or I could just hide in the truck. Yeah, 167 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: let's do it that way. I have a little fun, 168 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,719 Speaker 1: mister dear born, you have a little fun. Just cut 169 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: a breathing hole for me. Okay, I got my blade. 170 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,560 Speaker 1: There you go. Okay, so we made it um to Nevada, 171 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: to our first house. Every How are you doing? Boys? Boys? 172 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: Ask you a question? Answer the damn question. I don't know. 173 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,079 Speaker 1: Can you look I'm driving. Can you turn around and 174 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: see if they're Oh my god, they're awake, Mom, dad, Timmy, London. 175 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: Where are you guys? I've found the switch? Where where 176 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 1: is everybody? I should hear you on the alexa? Are 177 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: you talking to the alexa? Oh my god, honey, is 178 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: he stuck? He is stuck in the alexa? Is the alexa? 179 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 1: Tell me to unplug the alexa? I think I want 180 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: to get there, I think. Okay, honey, don't freak out. Okay, honey, 181 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: scared Alexa, can you please get my son out of 182 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 1: the inside of you and then kill yourself? You would 183 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: like to start a new list. Uh no, Alexa, Yes, 184 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: can you please? My son, My honey, bunny boy, my 185 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,959 Speaker 1: number one love favorite son is in there with his 186 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 1: Nintendo switch. Can you get him out of you? Please? 187 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 1: Adding a Nintendo switch to your card? No, I don't 188 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:46,719 Speaker 1: need another one, Alexa. Mr dear bar Oh you cut 189 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: was It wasn't very big? Can you hear what's going on? 190 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: My brother's trapped again. I'm trapped in the trunk. We're 191 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: running out of air. You're fine? Where are we now? 192 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 1: Where are we? I just said we're in Nevada? Shut up? 193 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: Are you just? That was just a moment. But then 194 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 1: all that stuff happened with with Timmy and the Alexa. 195 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 1: I don't like to hit you, but I'll do it. 196 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 1: She does like we're in Nevada, local Nevada food. You 197 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 1: haven't given me food or drink, lipping on the road 198 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 1: for I think three days. Can I have snack? What 199 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: kind of snack? Do you like beer more than anything? 200 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: Can I have a beer snack? What does it mean? Beer? 201 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 1: Not tuney he means a beer snack. Well, what is that? 202 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:43,599 Speaker 1: It's beer as a snack. Dammit? Does kids advance? So 203 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 1: we give him one? What do you think? I just 204 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: want to see that tsunami. How far away are we 205 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: from the tsunami? Mom? How far away are we from 206 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,199 Speaker 1: the tsunami? While we're gonna stop in Nevada check on 207 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: our property, then go to Arizona check our other property. 208 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: Cots the cops. All right, I got this, I got this. Okay, 209 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 1: Uh can you roll down your window please? You don't 210 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: have to make the noise, honey, it just doesn't I'd 211 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: like to do it. You know. I used to good 212 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: morning officer. That's my wife. She's hilarious. I'll speak to 213 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 1: the driver. Okay, you on the passengers side can just 214 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 1: just hang on. Yeah, she's got it all right. Don't 215 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 1: don't get mad at me. I'll come to the other side. 216 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: You know what. I'm gonna come to the other side. 217 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: I get to talk to him. This is great. I 218 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: wonder if he good morning officer. Do you smoke cigarettes? 219 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: I do. I'm a marble man myself, mostly marvel Red's 220 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,200 Speaker 1: the best place to be. I just want to check 221 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: your driving west and I don't know if you know, 222 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: but there there's been a tsunami in the West, so 223 00:14:54,160 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: I don't know. California's huh, hey, kids, you've been down 224 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: back there. I'm talking to officer Officer Hernandez. My other brother. 225 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: My brother's trapped in the alexa. Okay, what's what's that? 226 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 1: What's that noise? It's his other brother and he was bad, 227 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: so he put him in the trunk for a minute. 228 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: It sounds like, honey, honey, what are you talking about? 229 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: Our other things? And he's her favorite son. She's the 230 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: officer Hernana's honey, do you not hear someone coming up 231 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: talking from the trunk? So I'm just gonna tell the 232 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: officer that that's one of our children. If you're okay 233 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:38,440 Speaker 1: with that, just fucking smile Jesus, thank you. Officer Hernandez. 234 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: Do you have a family? Uh? Yeah? Do? I got 235 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 1: my favorite son, Billy. That's that's the one we got. 236 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: I got one named Charlie. Gets smoke alarms. You won't 237 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: regret it. Mr. Get smoke alarms. They pay for themselves. 238 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: You're not going down like this. Take my plate. Our 239 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 1: oldest just started selling smoke alarms, so he's a little forward. Okay, 240 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 1: that's an interesting high school thing to sell. Can I 241 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: ask you why you pulled us over? Good question? Good? 242 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 1: I was just checking your going west again. I will repeat, 243 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: there was a tsunami, California has almost fallen off the map. 244 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: But you're gonna go west. This is the only cart. 245 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: We're the only ones headed that way. Well look at that, honey, Wow, 246 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: this is a good, unique vacation. It's not illegal. Right, 247 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 1: we can go. You know the law. It sounds like 248 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: that's right, officer. Her name is. I don't talk to kids, alright. 249 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 1: I have a good one, all right, everybody? All right? 250 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 1: He was my hero. So Dad, you're not you're not 251 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 1: actually concerned about who's in the trunk? Right? Well, now 252 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 1: has left. But but wouldn't you want to know who 253 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 1: it is in front of the copse? No? No, son, 254 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: I assumed that that whoever is in the trunk, you 255 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 1: seem super friendly with You're okay with it. So now 256 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 1: I have questions for you. Who's in the trunk? I 257 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: see because I'm the bad kid. Well you're not the 258 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:09,360 Speaker 1: good one. He's gotta check on. Mr dear Born. That's 259 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: my day. Oh you live? The house is still standing up? 260 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 1: To that fire ship ship. I lost him. Oh shit, 261 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 1: oh shit, I lost God damn I lost him. Oh okay, fuck, Okay, okay, okay, okay, Mark, 262 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: calm down, breathe for a second. He's fine. He's probably 263 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,640 Speaker 1: just taking an app mark you check in on Mr 264 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: Dearborn copy over checking on him now, he's probably taking 265 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 1: an app che Over. Don't start your conversations with over. 266 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 1: Then I stopped listening, so it gets confusing. Over and 267 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 1: I'm looking at him now. I'm I'm gonna find him over, Lieutenant. Lieutenant, 268 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 1: you're you're micromanaging Mark. Just let him do his job. 269 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,320 Speaker 1: I think the last time I asked my assistant to 270 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,840 Speaker 1: chime in on matters of state law was never. Now, 271 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 1: you never did. Okay, can I get you so you're 272 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:18,959 Speaker 1: still having Chinese for lunch? Okay? Wow, you were right. 273 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,160 Speaker 1: That tsunami is just hanging there. It's still it's just there. 274 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: That's something like, oh my god, it's a wall of water. 275 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 1: That is amazing. Dad, Dad, go see that tsunami. That's 276 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 1: what my boy said before he burned alive. Jim, Can 277 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 1: I ask how you ended up in the trunk? Well, 278 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,400 Speaker 1: timmy brand didn't put me in the trunk. He asked 279 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,200 Speaker 1: me if I wanted to go along? Damn Brandon, he 280 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,200 Speaker 1: cut the cut the smallest of holes for me with 281 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 1: his blade. Who's bad? Now you're in the hero now son? 282 00:18:53,640 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 1: Because you're honey? No stop, alexaid, do not let my 283 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,880 Speaker 1: favorite son go towards the light? What Alexa are you talking? 284 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 1: Shoot the one in the car? Asshole? Oh, Linda, what 285 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: you needn't be so obvious with what son you love 286 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: and what you're not sure about. I don't think I'm 287 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 1: being obvious. Can you tell which one I like and 288 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,160 Speaker 1: which one I ate? I don't think so. I think 289 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: he can. And also the boy in the Alexa is gone. 290 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,159 Speaker 1: It's our son? When not anymore? You all want to 291 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: take a photo in front of the giant wall of 292 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: water just kind of frozen in time? Yes? Please? Alright? 293 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: Sixty bucks phones, sir? Yeah, I don't think we need 294 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,680 Speaker 1: to do that. Look this this is private property. So 295 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 1: if you want to take a photo in front of 296 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,080 Speaker 1: this giant wall of frozen water, I mean not literally, 297 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,639 Speaker 1: but just you know, it's just kind of floating in time. 298 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 1: Can we see the injured people on? Do you want 299 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: to see the injured people? Yeah? I heard there was 300 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: a look at me, look at my pinky, look at 301 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: that Hey ask you to back away from my son 302 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: for a moment there, but I'll back away for sixty bucks. 303 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 1: So if the tsunami hasn't pressed yet, how did the 304 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,159 Speaker 1: people get hurt? I may shut the hell up? Man, 305 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: you want me to hit sixty bucks. I don't think 306 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 1: we know how a tsunami works. And that is seen 307 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 1: number one. He just wanted sixty bucks. Seem two comes 308 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 1: from Thomas Lawson, who wrote, Hello alchomus, You guys are 309 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: fantastic and everything you do well, you've not seen everything. 310 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 1: I'll keep it short and sweet, but we'll say that 311 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:53,959 Speaker 1: you guys are keeping us all sane with these podcasts. 312 00:20:54,040 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 1: My suggestion Irish Mob book Club. Thanks to th h 313 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 1: O for Thomas to I'll say it again, no more Choyce. 314 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: Everyone here, everyone brings up Choyce. Can't really read anything else? Okay, 315 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,639 Speaker 1: thing else? I understand. I have a pitch for the 316 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: next book. Let's hear it then, Okay here, have you 317 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: ever heard of a book called Ulysses by James Joyce? 318 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: Is apsode whose favorites that's brilliant in your fucking face 319 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 1: Tommy Janigan. Look before we get into the nippy curty 320 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 1: about what book we're going to read. That's probably Choyce. 321 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 1: Words come to my ear that there's a rat insider 322 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:45,360 Speaker 1: book club, like a literal a literal rat everywhere. Yes, 323 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 1: we have rempotation. We live next to a ratty. That's outrageous. 324 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 1: We're all Irish here, we're all in the Irish mob. 325 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 1: Here's a tank fellas and lady thank you. If we 326 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 1: don't pick a book today, then we've got nothing to 327 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,640 Speaker 1: show next week. You know what happens when the boss 328 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 1: comes if we don't have a book report ready for 329 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:18,359 Speaker 1: the boss. And that's what about so so embarrassing? Last 330 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,560 Speaker 1: time we had to go and stand up there and 331 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 1: do a course on nothing, make it up? It was 332 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: so bad. But what about the rock? What we gotta 333 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: do something about the rat? Clearly that's we got a 334 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 1: snitch in here. Who's telling the boss that we're not 335 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: reading books? Who's snitching? I probably suggests it's the one 336 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,879 Speaker 1: that's not like the others. What do you mean me 337 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: because I'm from Glasgow originally for me because my parents 338 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: are Irish born and bred. Didn't mean to get burnt 339 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,399 Speaker 1: out there. You know that. Let's let's go around the 340 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 1: horn one more time. Can we place what around the horn? 341 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: What the hell does that a phone is? That's That's 342 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: an expression I've never heard before, which makes me that 343 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: you are the rat. Hold on, you never heard expression 344 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:13,240 Speaker 1: before around the horn on ESPN. Oh wait, now that 345 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 1: you say it, I did see that, but I never 346 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: associated the ESPN show with that expression, I guess. So, 347 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: egg on my face, Egg on your face, on my face, 348 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,200 Speaker 1: on your face? Where are you from, then, darling with 349 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 1: the aggy face? What? Where are you from? Them? Your paper? Cork, 350 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:39,040 Speaker 1: Cork County, Ireland? Right? What? Straight? Wait? Why am I 351 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 1: getting all these questions? We had the other one? I 352 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,159 Speaker 1: feel like this is because I'm the only last Well, 353 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 1: you guys know me. I'm I'm Shamous Affinity, and I'm 354 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: from Irish Town and I've been in the Irish mop 355 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,880 Speaker 1: with you guys for a long long time. We know that. Sam. 356 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:59,680 Speaker 1: There's your question there, the whole question, nobody's question. Let's 357 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: keep going around the horn. Shamous. Uh, how are you 358 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 1: doing in the mob? How you how did they believe you? Why? 359 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,399 Speaker 1: Why did you get this undercover of sigements? Shamous I'm here, 360 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 1: I'm your You're the best man for the job, Samous. 361 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: You have the accident that I don't know, Shamous to you. 362 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 1: You have the name, and that's what all they need. 363 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 1: The Irish Mob is so hard to get into, and 364 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 1: now you're in it. I've been taking care of your family. 365 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: The family is good, but you can't see him. Well 366 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 1: why can't I see them? Oh, that's just the rules, Shamous. 367 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 1: Here's a photo. That's your that's your wife, that's your son. 368 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: He's fourteen now. And there's your daughter and she's uh, 369 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: she's ten. Okay, Oh, here they come. Oh well, I've 370 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 1: got got a book report, got a book report. Your 371 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,879 Speaker 1: boss is coming. Yes, so we all have our ready, 372 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,639 Speaker 1: so we all be a great We all read different 373 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 1: books and that's what we did, different choice books. You 374 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 1: read anything else? Any other book? Nope, book just Joyce alright? 375 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: For Fox, it's Arthur Guinness right, Uh yeah, I want 376 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,479 Speaker 1: to hear you, hear you reports. I want to increase 377 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 1: my knowledge. I gotta ask. I mean, at some point 378 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: we're going to commit crimes, right, I mean, we are 379 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: the Irish Mob. Are there any crimes that you want 380 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 1: us to commit? Coming up? In the near future before 381 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 1: we get that's a strange question, if you don't mind 382 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:52,920 Speaker 1: me saying Sall's I wanted to mention any crimes boil Well. 383 00:25:53,440 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 1: I read doubling Ers by James Joyce j Christ boil 384 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 1: All the stories take place in Dublin on the on 385 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:10,359 Speaker 1: the same day night, and uh, it just felt like 386 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,200 Speaker 1: quit essentially Irish to me. You know, it just reminded 387 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:19,159 Speaker 1: me of growing up in irishton true true, true, good apart, 388 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: Next they're up, Tommy, fuck you? Yeah. I read Twilight, 389 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 1: Um what novel by James joy No, seems Joyce didn't 390 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:42,399 Speaker 1: write it. Yeah, she's she's part Irish. Yeah, go ahead, 391 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,120 Speaker 1: and the toys are quite in trolling, a little disturbed 392 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,680 Speaker 1: that everyone was a tween and whatnot, so that in 393 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,879 Speaker 1: my head I imagined everyone was in college, you know. 394 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 1: Just but anyway, all in all, Wait, you know it's 395 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,680 Speaker 1: not illegal for you to read a book about twins 396 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: and right, No, it's it's it's wrong. I made that call. 397 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 1: It was wrong. So do you feel like you committed 398 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:11,200 Speaker 1: a crime? No, No, I didn't. I did while I 399 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,760 Speaker 1: while I was buying the book. Your report to me 400 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,120 Speaker 1: that you're read it is that the extent of your 401 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,200 Speaker 1: fucking book report. Jesus Chris. Everyone's cooling at me while 402 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: I'm talking, as if I couldn't even get tried. You 403 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,920 Speaker 1: know what, fuck it fun, I didn't read it. I 404 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 1: didn't read I wanted the movie. Well maybe here's the rat. 405 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 1: All right, fuck you famous, you piece of ship. You 406 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:39,200 Speaker 1: kill you. I'll kill you, kill you, I kill you. 407 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:43,160 Speaker 1: I'm irish and alright, alright, I want to say something. 408 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 1: You gotta report first, But is it Michael? Come on, 409 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: share the report. We all want to learn. Wait, I'm 410 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:56,920 Speaker 1: the rat. Nobody says I'm the rat, and actually is 411 00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: the rat. It's true, I'm the rat covering for I 412 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:05,400 Speaker 1: read Sally Rooney's Normal People. Oh what did you think? 413 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 1: Did you like it better in conversations with friends? No? 414 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:14,480 Speaker 1: Actually I like conversations with friends better. But listen to 415 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 1: my accent. I barely have one. Can't be the right? 416 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:20,400 Speaker 1: Id be better? Promote him? Can't? That's true? You're you're 417 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 1: a cup and now normal PayPal? No normal the app? PayPal? 418 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:37,640 Speaker 1: I thought me exclusively agree to use Venmo. We're dead, Shamus? 419 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 1: How are you doing in the house? The book report? Weird? Weird? 420 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 1: It's just weird. Any crimes, Well, I think one guy 421 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: did cocaine, another guy had thought crimes about tweens and uh, 422 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 1: and one guy admitted to being the rat when I 423 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: don't know if he is or not. Did you send 424 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,360 Speaker 1: somebody else in? His accident is worse than mine? All right? 425 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,000 Speaker 1: That's not a ball, Shamous. You have the worst exan 426 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 1: in the world. Shamus. He is a picture of your family. 427 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 1: That's your wife, that's your son. He's fifteen. Now, how 428 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: are they so much older? They give me a hold 429 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,440 Speaker 1: of every day, Chamus. You're missing him, but you have 430 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 1: to stay in them all. Oh, here they come, ja 431 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: ja Shamus, Shamus? Did you want some potatoes? Shamus? I 432 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,760 Speaker 1: just thought I thought we'd have some potatoes for lunch today. Well, 433 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: did you bring some? You can't just say potato and 434 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:38,040 Speaker 1: not have any. Yeah? Sure, Well I've got these potatoes 435 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:44,920 Speaker 1: made just the way that potatoes. What just add water? 436 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 1: That's right, just like my old mom used to make. 437 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: We used to make powdered potatoes. She did, used to 438 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 1: make powdered potatoes. Are you saying I'm not a real 439 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,760 Speaker 1: Irish member because I powdered potatoes? Okay, okay, Okay, we're 440 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 1: all normal paper here. Michael, Mike no normal PayPal. Yes, 441 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 1: Michael might be the rat. Michael's the Rata. It could 442 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,920 Speaker 1: smell it on him. It's you, Michael. Yeah. What do 443 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 1: you mean you know to think Michael's the rat too? 444 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,160 Speaker 1: Ever since you admitted to be in the rat, ever 445 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 1: since she said yes, I said no, you said Michael, 446 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 1: I said Michael was the rack. Yes, and your Michael. 447 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 1: You're Michael. You're Michael. Okay, okay, When are we gonna 448 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:40,360 Speaker 1: see dad again? What? When are we going to see 449 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,680 Speaker 1: dad again? Calm down, my Irish children. You know that 450 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 1: your Irish father is at work, right, He's Irish and 451 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 1: we're not. I'm sorry, You're so fucked. I am so 452 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 1: messed up in the head. Police officer comes by to 453 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: take photos of us every day, just telling us about 454 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:11,200 Speaker 1: what your father does. And you what did you saying? 455 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: What did you say to me? Look at me in 456 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:13,800 Speaker 1: the eye and say that, Look at me in my 457 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 1: one eye and say that again. What do you mean? 458 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 1: Let me get the door. It's me. I need a 459 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:37,120 Speaker 1: picture of the family yesterday. To take it, I have 460 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: to switch over with me. Why well, today is the 461 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 1: last day of being a mob. Wow, we all graduated. 462 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,280 Speaker 1: That's amazing. We have to give out It's amazing. We've 463 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 1: got to give out this special award. Yeah, the the 464 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 1: what you wu call it? You know? The um what 465 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 1: is the word? It's no like like Joyce would have 466 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 1: increased your vocabulary. It has, but not with any words 467 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:14,080 Speaker 1: that I could use in day to day's speech. You 468 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 1: know the thing that it's like voted most likely to Yes, 469 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: we're going to give up. Yes, that's right, Tommy for 470 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,320 Speaker 1: the seventh year in a row. You've got You've got 471 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 1: that special award for you and probably name it the 472 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:36,080 Speaker 1: Tommy at some point, I mean, look back at all 473 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,960 Speaker 1: the crimes we committed. What were some of your favorites 474 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 1: that you guys did Dad? Dad? Is that you? What 475 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:51,240 Speaker 1: a second? Who's the boy here? You kid? I don't 476 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 1: know you either. Just get out of this. Just so 477 00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:01,160 Speaker 1: you know, Mom lost her other eyes. Okay, what what's 478 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 1: going on? Tommy? Grab him? Listen to me, a little freak. 479 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,240 Speaker 1: Don't pick the coming in here thinking you can just 480 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 1: pointing any one of us to say where your dad? 481 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,480 Speaker 1: Because it ain't true. Cut your head off and slam 482 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 1: it down your ass. You know what, I'm saying, he 483 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: is my dad. That's my dad, and I prove it, Tommy, 484 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,040 Speaker 1: hold him tight. Let me teach this kid a thing 485 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:28,680 Speaker 1: or two. Oh, I want to know. I want to 486 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 1: see if you can prove that that's his dad. Oh, 487 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:36,000 Speaker 1: we're gonna play that game out. We fine. Why is 488 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 1: he your friend? Why would you say Shamus of all 489 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,640 Speaker 1: of us? There's a there's a photo in my in 490 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,600 Speaker 1: my jacket pocket. Pull it out. Is our photo in there? Tommy? 491 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 1: See this here? There is literally photo. Anybody could have 492 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 1: doctored that photoshop that. Hold on a sec your wife, 493 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,840 Speaker 1: no eyes or someone's wife, no, i'ball And then this 494 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:04,800 Speaker 1: young this young lad here, but I don't see any dad. 495 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:09,360 Speaker 1: It's me. I'm his dad. I'm the rat. Kill me 496 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:17,880 Speaker 1: and my boy. Michael was the rat. You. I love you. 497 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: We're gonna go do dad and kid things now, Okay, 498 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 1: Dad and kid, me, Dad and son. Let's go. Sorry, Michael, 499 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,200 Speaker 1: please stop fucking touching the boy. I'm begging you. It's 500 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,320 Speaker 1: a bit creepy. It sounds like something out of Twilight. 501 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 1: It's a huge Now you get it, now you understand 502 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 1: what or it's like that seen in normal PayPal where 503 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:45,719 Speaker 1: they have sex. Oh yeah, okay, I hate you. You're 504 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,080 Speaker 1: the worst that ever. I hate you for being undercover 505 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:52,000 Speaker 1: detective trying to infiltrate in the Irish yab What the 506 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:58,680 Speaker 1: heck is this guy going on about? I'm sorry I 507 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,880 Speaker 1: had to tell your son about everything. Oh fuck you, Alex. 508 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 1: You know I said we were having a bonding moment. 509 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:07,320 Speaker 1: It was after an accident with your wife, but we 510 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,960 Speaker 1: had a really nice time chatting and I just opened 511 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:14,040 Speaker 1: up terrible at your job. Man, I don't know, I know, 512 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,239 Speaker 1: I know. I I should have gotten the assignment. You 513 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: should have been here with your family. I I'm single. 514 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,320 Speaker 1: It's still I'm single. I mean, I'm on the apps, 515 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,360 Speaker 1: I'm on normal PayPal. I'm trying to meet people and 516 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 1: it's not going well. But I'm really sorry about about 517 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:32,799 Speaker 1: your son and your wife's eyes. And uh, I hope 518 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,440 Speaker 1: you'll forgive me or do you get any photos? No? 519 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:41,000 Speaker 1: I brought you this book as a gift. Well shame 520 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,359 Speaker 1: as you've been debriefed. We're gonna give you a new name, right, 521 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 1: it's gonna be Jim Dearborn. We're gonna relocate you to Chicago, 522 00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,360 Speaker 1: and we actually have a family that you're gonna be 523 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:56,440 Speaker 1: living with Okay? Uh? Do I have an elaborate backstory? 524 00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:05,239 Speaker 1: Is Jim Dearborn? Uh? Sure, yeah, yeah you used to? 525 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,440 Speaker 1: Do you want to get with this, Jim? I mean 526 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,520 Speaker 1: the more detail the better. I mean the work that 527 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:15,640 Speaker 1: I put into creating Shamus uh affinity part of me. 528 00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:20,800 Speaker 1: Guys Uh Roger of the Relocation services. You know, this 529 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,800 Speaker 1: is an old house you're moving into. Okay, old house, 530 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:29,080 Speaker 1: So get a different house. Yeah, that's that's what it 531 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,759 Speaker 1: sounds like. It's only it's the only house we can 532 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 1: provide him in Chicago. It's the only house we can get. Well, 533 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 1: i mean the prices in Chicago are there, let's be 534 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: footage wise, it's not. It's comparable on the North side side. Yeah, 535 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 1: we're talking about appliances and everything else in there. Relocation 536 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 1: Services hasn't been pulling their weight when it comes to 537 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 1: witness protection. Listen, Jim, your addresses sixteen sixteen North Wales. Okay, 538 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 1: and that's that's your new home. Just be careful. It's well, 539 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,600 Speaker 1: we were working on the back story. So yeah, let's 540 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,560 Speaker 1: let's give Jim a little more to play with than 541 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,239 Speaker 1: what his address says. No thanks, now he knows, no, 542 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,560 Speaker 1: thank you. I want to know about Chicago is uh, 543 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:19,080 Speaker 1: it doesn't seem much. My right doesn't seem much. Hi, 544 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:24,320 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm here for the backstory department. I'm ohome 545 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,239 Speaker 1: his wife. I'm supposed to be. Yep, this is Cindy, Jim. 546 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,240 Speaker 1: This is your wife, and you're gonna have two kids, 547 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,120 Speaker 1: one of which is kind of super great, the other 548 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:39,640 Speaker 1: one little shaky. Okay, so backstory. Let's let's say that 549 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:46,000 Speaker 1: you you're working paint, U you invent paint, and you smoke. 550 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 1: Now you smoke now, definitely the back story department. It 551 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,560 Speaker 1: sounds like you guys are just riffing. Um no, I'm 552 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,440 Speaker 1: literally from the backstory department, Like I am part of 553 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,200 Speaker 1: I'm your wife, but I'm not creative, so please don't 554 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:03,719 Speaker 1: please don't ask me to outside of my about like 555 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,640 Speaker 1: you might be half what you're maybe a werewolf. Maybe 556 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 1: you're a werewolf or like a vampire paints and smokes. Yeah, yeah, 557 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,480 Speaker 1: good stuff. This is a good stuff. And then um, 558 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 1: let's see what else is Hello, I am here, I'll 559 00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:27,600 Speaker 1: be playing your son. It's not a big deal deal. 560 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:33,359 Speaker 1: Royal Academy of Dramatic Cards. This kid is so what's 561 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,120 Speaker 1: the backstory. Who's this lady? My mom? I'm your mom. 562 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: It's funny. I think I'm younger than you. Wow, if 563 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:45,120 Speaker 1: I slip the tongue in there, it's gonna be fun. 564 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,360 Speaker 1: I don't die. I hope we don't die in this. 565 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,919 Speaker 1: The folks, the folks next door, the Parkinson's what crime 566 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:57,680 Speaker 1: did they commits? That's for me to find. Yeah, we 567 00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:02,960 Speaker 1: don't know. We lead here whatsoever. You're the lead, You're 568 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,080 Speaker 1: the tip of the spear. You figure this out to you. 569 00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:09,239 Speaker 1: I was told I was co lead. No, no, you're 570 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:13,160 Speaker 1: you're definitely definitely, uh yeah, don't worry about that. I 571 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,920 Speaker 1: was this close to exposing Arthur Guinness and the Irish mob. 572 00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:21,120 Speaker 1: Yeah that the emphasis on this close never quite brought 573 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 1: that one home. Shamous. That was sixteen years of investigation 574 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 1: down the drain. Because your mistake, You're a shame on 575 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:37,080 Speaker 1: all of us. That in fact is seen too. That 576 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:43,520 Speaker 1: a scene too, Thank you. Seen. Three cops are paton 577 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,080 Speaker 1: on committee. I Will Morris, who wrote, Dear alchemist, Will 578 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:49,440 Speaker 1: moris here upstate St. Louis native and the only documented 579 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,480 Speaker 1: case of a person kept alive entirely on alchemy. This 580 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,359 Speaker 1: alone thank you so much for engaging my dark sense 581 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:59,400 Speaker 1: of human helping me laugh about my father's stroke rehabilitation situation. 582 00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,799 Speaker 1: My dad enjoyed the episode as well. Oh that's good 583 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 1: to hear. We were hoping, uh it might reach him, 584 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,359 Speaker 1: and so thank you for letting us know that. Uh will, 585 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,160 Speaker 1: I'll keep it short. I want to hear Brad Pitt 586 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,840 Speaker 1: sue for his botched steak knife vast sect to me 587 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,279 Speaker 1: and would absolutely love Joey's Southern Judge, Joey, you butt 588 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:23,120 Speaker 1: sucking toad liquor, stop setting me All these jars labeled 589 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:29,240 Speaker 1: Joey's Yummy Yogurt. They're never sealed, always arrived covered in mold, 590 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:34,399 Speaker 1: and they attracked snakes. I gotta goddamn snake infection. I'm 591 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,640 Speaker 1: not going to quote unquote sell them to the kids 592 00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:47,319 Speaker 1: or quote help you make yogurt. Weirdo will ye sorry, 593 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:51,480 Speaker 1: I'm not going to be quiet. Isn't the quarter? Alright? Mr? 594 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:57,520 Speaker 1: Hey hey o oh? He said, alright, Mr Pitt, Are 595 00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:03,799 Speaker 1: you sure you want to represent yourself? Um? Yes, I do. Yeah, 596 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,800 Speaker 1: you can just talk normal pitch. This is this is 597 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,160 Speaker 1: how I talk. Yeah, it seems like you're doing an 598 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:15,560 Speaker 1: oppression of somebody you've acted with maybe huh no, no, no, no, no, 599 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:20,400 Speaker 1: I haven't no, I am I know. Okay, sound sounds 600 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,120 Speaker 1: better now, all right? And uh the other side of 601 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 1: the aisle, I just I do feel like, Um, this 602 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,359 Speaker 1: is a defense by the way, Yeah, and you don't 603 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: need to do that voice either, just speak normal. I'm okay, 604 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,400 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Um, I was trying to be a woman. 605 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 1: What did you guys think, did I What do you 606 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,759 Speaker 1: guys think? Actually, let's go back to that. Let's go 607 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:54,200 Speaker 1: back to that. Okay, So basically like or the defense, 608 00:41:54,600 --> 00:42:01,520 Speaker 1: and um, it's an insult that Brad Pitt is like here, 609 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:05,719 Speaker 1: like why is he not hiring a professional to prosecute us? 610 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,719 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like, it's an insult to me. 611 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,960 Speaker 1: I went to years and years and years of law school, 612 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:15,640 Speaker 1: top of my class. Okay, that's nothing to do with 613 00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,080 Speaker 1: the case. He can can he as the right? So 614 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:22,200 Speaker 1: we're talking about your pp got cut right? Oh well 615 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:29,800 Speaker 1: a little bit I had. Um this is well my 616 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:35,680 Speaker 1: I had surgery, and UM, I would greatly appreciate if 617 00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 1: you would not address my client directly. Oh sorry, I 618 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,080 Speaker 1: was late to caught this morning, y'ahna. But it is 619 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,960 Speaker 1: in fact a pleasure to be at your side again. No, no, no, 620 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,520 Speaker 1: it's my honor. It's everybody in this court's honor. WI imagine. 621 00:42:54,760 --> 00:43:00,640 Speaker 1: So so then if you had a question for my client, please, 622 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,000 Speaker 1: what would that question be? I just wanted to get 623 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:08,680 Speaker 1: a brief summary of the case from your end. Well, 624 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:12,040 Speaker 1: it's all they're in front of you in the documentation. Basically, 625 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:17,440 Speaker 1: my client, the Academy Award winning actor briand Pit, had 626 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:22,560 Speaker 1: a piece of his paenis removed unsatisfactory and we are 627 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:27,040 Speaker 1: seeking damages to the tune of a hundred and sixteen 628 00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:32,880 Speaker 1: million dollars. Wow, that sounded so good. That sounded that 629 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:36,080 Speaker 1: sounded so good. That's gonna be tough to lose. Yeah, yeah, 630 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,359 Speaker 1: I think so. I think that deserves Yeah yeah, I'm 631 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:44,000 Speaker 1: used to more than a smattering. But it's a uh defense. 632 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,799 Speaker 1: Anything to say or should we just call it? Oh God, 633 00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:51,840 Speaker 1: that one's gonna be hard to um do something, do 634 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:58,640 Speaker 1: something about this coming through. I'm a doctor. We didn't 635 00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:01,920 Speaker 1: see this coming. This is weird, okay, alright, yeah yeah, 636 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:06,160 Speaker 1: please come through, come through, and just part of the 637 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:13,239 Speaker 1: coat too. And I have a brief case. Now you'll 638 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:17,520 Speaker 1: see here as I presented before the court X rays 639 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:24,919 Speaker 1: X objection, y'ahn, and my client has fifty negative kill. 640 00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:31,440 Speaker 1: We did not see this evidence prior um use use 641 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:35,040 Speaker 1: some terminology I didn't know, right, We have a fifty 642 00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,400 Speaker 1: kill ratio on any sort of negative that may be 643 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:42,240 Speaker 1: used of my client. And if this so called doctor 644 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:46,960 Speaker 1: I've not seen any credentials is insisting that these X 645 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 1: rays did in fact represent my clients and he can 646 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,279 Speaker 1: only use fifty percent, and what he's brought we've not seen. 647 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,440 Speaker 1: There's only one way to find out. If the X 648 00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:02,040 Speaker 1: rays match Mr Pitt's penis, then they're the true X rays. 649 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,399 Speaker 1: Have four X rays? What if I hold him face down? 650 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 1: You pull too randomly and I get to use the 651 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,920 Speaker 1: other two for the case like a magic trick. Like 652 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,239 Speaker 1: a magic trick. Yeah, that's how it works. We just 653 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:22,080 Speaker 1: randomly pulled two without seeing the evidence. Joanna, What is 654 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:26,160 Speaker 1: happening here in your court? Or should I say psychus? Uh? 655 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:31,719 Speaker 1: I'll tell you what's happening legal lism. All right, we'll 656 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:35,560 Speaker 1: see too. Okay, we'll see too, your honor. Did you 657 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:42,120 Speaker 1: want to you want to pull to uh? Look, okay, objection, Joanna? 658 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,880 Speaker 1: Can we not use the wood pull when associated with 659 00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:50,120 Speaker 1: my clients pains, what we will draw to suck to. 660 00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,480 Speaker 1: Perhaps suck too is better? Suck to is better? Go 661 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:59,480 Speaker 1: ahead and suck any too with my mouth or now. Look, 662 00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,080 Speaker 1: we get a lot of high profile lawyers, even like 663 00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,640 Speaker 1: federal judges coming through here. Okay. So when you're making 664 00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:07,279 Speaker 1: steak drinks, okay, you want to make sure they're clean 665 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:10,000 Speaker 1: and you want to make sure they're salted correctly. All right, 666 00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,239 Speaker 1: So this is look, I'm gonna leave you on the 667 00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:15,560 Speaker 1: floor alone. All right, this chance on me, This is this. 668 00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,719 Speaker 1: I'm so excited. He don't give me that. Okay, you 669 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,560 Speaker 1: earned this, Okay, I'm not. I'm not taking a chance. 670 00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:27,480 Speaker 1: You're putting in the work, alright. Uh test me, test me. Okay. 671 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,000 Speaker 1: Someone comes up and they say, hey, I want a 672 00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,719 Speaker 1: Ribby Manhattan. What do you do? Go? Okay, you take 673 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:38,640 Speaker 1: the raw steak. Uh, you dip it in vermouth, that's right. Uh. 674 00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:42,480 Speaker 1: You pour out the vermouth. You put the steak on 675 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:48,440 Speaker 1: the grill. Uh. You rim the glass with uh, with 676 00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:52,560 Speaker 1: sugar and lemon. That's right. Okay, then you pour that out. 677 00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,239 Speaker 1: Check out the steak. It's still cooking, still cooking. You 678 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:57,880 Speaker 1: had a little salt and pepper. Just salt and pepper. 679 00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:01,640 Speaker 1: That said, But the steaks peak for itself. Uh you 680 00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,880 Speaker 1: fill the glass of ice. Uh you rim it with 681 00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:10,320 Speaker 1: salt for the salt out. Check on the steak again. 682 00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,839 Speaker 1: It's over. It's done. It's been going too long. It's 683 00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,920 Speaker 1: well done. What do you do? Okay, take it off, 684 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:20,399 Speaker 1: throw it away, right, take out another steak, put it grill? 685 00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:27,200 Speaker 1: What kind of steak? Excuse me, I've had a long night. 686 00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:30,320 Speaker 1: You guys open you guys, you guys. Take yes. Actually 687 00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:33,279 Speaker 1: he's the bartender. Yes, I canna help you a steak. Bartender. Look, 688 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,320 Speaker 1: I just need a shot. If I'm being honest, I 689 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:39,840 Speaker 1: just need a quick fact. So I'm thinking, I don't know, skirt, 690 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:43,759 Speaker 1: I don't know what. What are you thinking. We've got 691 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:48,359 Speaker 1: a wonderful skirt. We've got a butt, We've got we've 692 00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,680 Speaker 1: got a Porterhouse. You know what. Let's do porterhouse shot. 693 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,520 Speaker 1: Let's do a shot shot a Porterhouse. Please, shot a 694 00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,440 Speaker 1: Porterhouse coming right up? Can you talk talk to the 695 00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:59,319 Speaker 1: process as you're making that. I love this bar. Great. 696 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:07,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to rim your glass. I am taking out 697 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:14,120 Speaker 1: a Porterhouse steak right now. Uh, just putting it under 698 00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:18,400 Speaker 1: the heat real lightly hope here she comes. You just 699 00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,120 Speaker 1: keep talking this. I'm cheating on my wife with this 700 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,879 Speaker 1: woman here, so I'm gonna tell her now. So it's 701 00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,359 Speaker 1: gonna be good to I should make two of those. 702 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:37,000 Speaker 1: Go ahead, go ahead, keep talking baby there? How are you? 703 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:41,799 Speaker 1: I can't wait to make out sex later. Yeah, we're 704 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,440 Speaker 1: going to do this slash of Brinadine in there. I 705 00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:48,879 Speaker 1: got a couple of shots. Who's this? Wait? Oh my god, 706 00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,760 Speaker 1: that's your wife. I see her portrait in your wallet. 707 00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:55,399 Speaker 1: You knew that I had a wife. Yeah, you wear 708 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:59,520 Speaker 1: a wedding ring. So you're just gonna be doing this? 709 00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,480 Speaker 1: My fucking I'm not just gonna be doing this. Yes, 710 00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,920 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna just be doing this. I'm doing this. 711 00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:09,120 Speaker 1: You're doing it? What did you invite this? Both here? 712 00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,680 Speaker 1: I needed to first hold on. I've got a couple 713 00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:15,040 Speaker 1: of drinks coming for you, and that baby is still moving? 714 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,759 Speaker 1: Still moving? What drinks do you have? What are those? 715 00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,719 Speaker 1: What is this? I got a couple of shots, Yeah, 716 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:25,440 Speaker 1: tell tell them. I am making a couple of Porterhouse 717 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:29,399 Speaker 1: shots right here. I am a steak bartender. So who 718 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 1: there's three of us here? So who do people that 719 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:36,200 Speaker 1: get it. Just think I want a Tomahawk chocolate martini. 720 00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:41,040 Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, okay, and I want espresso Filet 721 00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:46,640 Speaker 1: Mignon chocolate Martini, Espresso Fila Mignon. Got it? Got it? 722 00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,160 Speaker 1: You better talk through that. You better talk through that. 723 00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:55,680 Speaker 1: I'm taking out the raw beat right now. I've got 724 00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:59,680 Speaker 1: a bar of pure coco. Uh so you can see 725 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,239 Speaker 1: everybody of the court. Sorry I did. I didn't wipe 726 00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:07,359 Speaker 1: my spit off of those should I It's okay? Okay, yes, 727 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,520 Speaker 1: look I'm gonna tell you right now. Okay, Look we've 728 00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:12,200 Speaker 1: been doing this little uh little test run, little dry 729 00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:14,399 Speaker 1: run if you will dry rub, if you're talking about 730 00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,600 Speaker 1: steaks um and seeing how this is going to go 731 00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:18,799 Speaker 1: over cases, you know, in action. And I'm gonna tell 732 00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,640 Speaker 1: you right now it's it's a week. It's a week. 733 00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:27,000 Speaker 1: Do you mean I'm a reader your pediod attrition? I'm aio. 734 00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:31,040 Speaker 1: I'm a pediatrician or pedietrist. What's the foot one? What's 735 00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:35,400 Speaker 1: the foot one? Right? I'm asking what's the foot one? 736 00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:37,840 Speaker 1: So what I'm saying is I come in with my 737 00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:42,640 Speaker 1: what's the foot? Okay? Thank you, thank you, somebody, for 738 00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,479 Speaker 1: God's sakes, Sorry, I'm taking minutes of this meeting. Should 739 00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,160 Speaker 1: I have written all of that down? Yes, you should have. 740 00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:50,840 Speaker 1: And what if you have a child who needs to 741 00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,640 Speaker 1: go to the doctor with a foot problem? Oh that's 742 00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:57,000 Speaker 1: a great question, I think it. What do you do? Okay, 743 00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,000 Speaker 1: we're getting off track here. We need no no, no, no, 744 00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:03,440 Speaker 1: that's a good is I guess anyone would go to 745 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:07,000 Speaker 1: a well. I am a pediatric piedieatrist. So you're seeing 746 00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:09,200 Speaker 1: the right guy. Okay, so there is So you have 747 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,960 Speaker 1: a double specialty or is this like a single I 748 00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:17,840 Speaker 1: am a pediatric podietrist especially, but what what what liquid 749 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:22,800 Speaker 1: would you give to somebody who's dehydrated? Baby? Perhaps? No 750 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:29,640 Speaker 1: more electrolytes? Oh? What's that? So? I typically as a 751 00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:33,400 Speaker 1: pediatric podiatrist, I would get pedia light? Okay, okay? And 752 00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:36,400 Speaker 1: now and now do you have an infinity for young children? 753 00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:43,160 Speaker 1: By any chance? Uh? Get out of here? Who are 754 00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:47,600 Speaker 1: you are you going to that? None of you have 755 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:56,000 Speaker 1: a child issues? Okay? Okay? Right right, right, holy point. 756 00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:59,840 Speaker 1: A normal person would have asked, why did he mention 757 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:05,320 Speaker 1: or accuse you of being a pedophile? But you didn't 758 00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:12,480 Speaker 1: do that, did you. Ah? I'm not sure where you're 759 00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,920 Speaker 1: going with this is there a question here? Well, sure, 760 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:20,320 Speaker 1: you've found a practice for a fifteen year. Some children 761 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:25,120 Speaker 1: have come out of it better and some happen. Okay, 762 00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:29,920 Speaker 1: So I'm saying a normal person would have said why 763 00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:33,560 Speaker 1: the question about being a pedophile? But I mean I 764 00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,960 Speaker 1: didn't get to kick them out of my office. I 765 00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:40,359 Speaker 1: didn't say those exact words, perhaps right, And did they 766 00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:44,040 Speaker 1: leave here office? Oh? I'm so glad we're adding that. 767 00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:47,239 Speaker 1: I want to leave that behind. I don't want to 768 00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:55,120 Speaker 1: hear anything about that ever again you asked that question? Okay? Anyway, 769 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,080 Speaker 1: so I gotta get a drink. I gotta get a 770 00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:05,000 Speaker 1: steak drink. Give what it is we're not don't talk 771 00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:06,520 Speaker 1: to her like that. By the way, don't talk to her. 772 00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:10,919 Speaker 1: He's allowed to. I gave him permission, written permission in HR. Sorry, folks, 773 00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:15,160 Speaker 1: I'm still talking through drink orders from yesterday. Okay. Now, 774 00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,640 Speaker 1: if you're going to be making them a frozen steak drink, 775 00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:22,120 Speaker 1: what do you do? Okay? All right, you get you 776 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:29,640 Speaker 1: open the freezer? Uh the wow, Brad, you're so uh sweet? 777 00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:31,960 Speaker 1: Wait before we do that, do you want to grab 778 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,120 Speaker 1: a cun of my I don't want to get pregnant 779 00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:37,399 Speaker 1: and I'm not on the pill. Uh you know, maybe 780 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:40,640 Speaker 1: we could talk. That'd be good. I'd rather just talk 781 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:47,440 Speaker 1: than than do anything. So um uh look, I have 782 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:53,680 Speaker 1: a this is me, I'm bred pitt. This is my voice. 783 00:53:53,880 --> 00:54:00,719 Speaker 1: Uh there issue? Am I ugly? No? No, no, you're 784 00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:04,200 Speaker 1: not you're you're no, no, no no you're Oh no, 785 00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,960 Speaker 1: you're so pretty. I think it'd be better if we talked. 786 00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,840 Speaker 1: I don't follow. I want to talk to them with 787 00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:21,480 Speaker 1: your penis. Look, uh, I'll be honest with you. Fifty 788 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:27,680 Speaker 1: of my p p has been botched. Okay, thank you 789 00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:30,920 Speaker 1: for sharing that. Can I see it? So? How was 790 00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:35,640 Speaker 1: your date? Fucking bread? Shut shut up? You get the drinks. 791 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,680 Speaker 1: You get the drinks, and i'll can we get two 792 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:41,360 Speaker 1: t bones with thank you? Okay? Can I just make them? 793 00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,800 Speaker 1: Can I just make them? Uh? No, we want to 794 00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:54,280 Speaker 1: hear it? Go ahead, want to hear Okay? Oh my golly, 795 00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,800 Speaker 1: let's thank our alchemist. Uh, in no particular with Caroline Connor, 796 00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,479 Speaker 1: lady in the pack a line, thank you so much. 797 00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:08,120 Speaker 1: You're welcome. Last time you were here, I asked um 798 00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:12,160 Speaker 1: last several times where folks could find you and your wares, 799 00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:16,759 Speaker 1: And the answer seems to be your Shenanigans on Instagram. Yeah, 800 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,840 Speaker 1: that's true, Carter poop. I also am doing Twitch shows, 801 00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:22,319 Speaker 1: which I plugged the wrong way last time, because that's 802 00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:24,759 Speaker 1: how good. I know how it works, and it's on 803 00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:29,560 Speaker 1: it's bad stream and stream is spelled s t R 804 00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:35,040 Speaker 1: three A am I think, sure, Yeah, I have a 805 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:42,680 Speaker 1: new podcast. Oh it's called Carter four Carter Core, and 806 00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:45,680 Speaker 1: the folks will find that wherever they find podcast. I 807 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:50,399 Speaker 1: don't know. Sure, well done, well done until saying thank 808 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:53,480 Speaker 1: you for being here as always. Yeah, thank you for 809 00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:55,600 Speaker 1: having me. It's great always, every good time. I really 810 00:55:55,680 --> 00:56:02,080 Speaker 1: enjoyed it when when Craig put the stick back on. Yeah, 811 00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:04,960 Speaker 1: and folks will find you. Yeah, you can find me 812 00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:08,560 Speaker 1: on my socials at a tool time. I'm on Clubhouse, 813 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:12,280 Speaker 1: but I don't go there, so find me there. Awesome 814 00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:16,640 Speaker 1: and thank you so much. Chris Alvarado. Thoughts, did you 815 00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:21,600 Speaker 1: watch the first episode of Blow Dex Sailing? No, I 816 00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:25,680 Speaker 1: just started Monday. We've got some talking to do, no jesus, Okay, yeah, 817 00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:28,839 Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to getting into that. What's what's Carter 818 00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:33,160 Speaker 1: Core about? I don't know. Why don't you tell us 819 00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:37,720 Speaker 1: what your new podcast is about? Chris sure, sure, yeah, okay, 820 00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:39,880 Speaker 1: so this is how this is how it goes, Caroline. 821 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:41,800 Speaker 1: So I have a new podcast, everybody. It's called The 822 00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:45,120 Speaker 1: Comedy Fix. You know, it's been described as like, uh, 823 00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:50,360 Speaker 1: comedy and philosophy talk right where the intersect. You know, 824 00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:53,719 Speaker 1: people there, everyone's talking. It's a buzz. People are a 825 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:57,160 Speaker 1: buzz about it. So please check out. First listen to 826 00:56:57,239 --> 00:57:00,320 Speaker 1: carter Core and then go to The Comedy Fix. I 827 00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,520 Speaker 1: think it'll be a nice evening for you. Chris, does 828 00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:05,920 Speaker 1: your podcast talk about carter Core at all? It will? 829 00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:10,160 Speaker 1: It's starting up. Yeah yeah, So Caroline, somewhere between the 830 00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:12,560 Speaker 1: way you sold it and the way Chris did, that's 831 00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:14,880 Speaker 1: that pace. That's that place we're looking for you. I 832 00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:20,240 Speaker 1: think I get it. And thank you for that. Craig Atkowski. Great, 833 00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:23,840 Speaker 1: I'd love to plug a movie. If Possible plays The 834 00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:28,720 Speaker 1: Devil's Own Alan j Pecoola Breton is an IRA informant. 835 00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:30,840 Speaker 1: Check it out see if his Irish accident is better 836 00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,320 Speaker 1: than any of ours, and if Joey's impression of bread 837 00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,440 Speaker 1: that is any good. I feel like Harrison Ford is 838 00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:40,120 Speaker 1: in that. Yeah, I like that movie. Uh, speaking of 839 00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:47,400 Speaker 1: Joey Gerr's accent, Joey. Hello. Check out Alchemy this on Instagram. 840 00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:50,800 Speaker 1: You know, give it a little follow. You're gonna see 841 00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:54,120 Speaker 1: stuff what I kill you, And uh, I can't wait 842 00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,000 Speaker 1: for Carter Core podcast. I can't wait to figure out 843 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,760 Speaker 1: what that is and why I'm listening to it. So 844 00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:01,560 Speaker 1: I'm excited. Let's get to the core of it. Let's 845 00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,440 Speaker 1: thank our producer and engineer of the stars, Mr Doug Bane, 846 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:11,040 Speaker 1: and the fine folks that I Art Media. I'm host 847 00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,760 Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock, thanking you so damn much for joining us 848 00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:15,640 Speaker 1: each and every time. Please tell everyone you've ever met 849 00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:17,240 Speaker 1: about us and write a damn review if you have 850 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:20,880 Speaker 1: the time. If you don't, it's a okay. It's uh 851 00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:24,640 Speaker 1: twelve noon here in Los Angeles at this very moment, 852 00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,040 Speaker 1: and I would like you to please be kind to 853 00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:32,080 Speaker 1: everyone you know and wear a mask damn it until 854 00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:32,680 Speaker 1: next time.