1
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,480
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

2
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:19,320
Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

3
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,480
Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

4
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,599
Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford,

5
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:32,040
Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

6
00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,560
Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

7
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,280
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope

8
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,199
Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it

9
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,400
Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with

10
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:57,160
Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Thanks so much for joining

11
00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,440
Speaker 1: me for session one thirty three of the Therapy for

12
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,960
Speaker 1: Black Girls Podcast. Today we're chatting all about how to

13
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,360
Speaker 1: keep the lines of communication open between you and your

14
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:10,800
Speaker 1: teen daughter. For this conversation, I was joined by Gretchen Campbell.

15
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:16,160
Speaker 1: Gretchen is an original Jersey Girl currently residing in North Carolina.

16
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,959
Speaker 1: She's a licensed professional counselor with over nineteen years of experience.

17
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,399
Speaker 1: Even though she doesn't look like it, she loves working

18
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,360
Speaker 1: with tween and teen girls and their moms, and she

19
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,440
Speaker 1: has a new found passion for servicing young gen Z

20
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,960
Speaker 1: and millennial women. Gretchen also recently authored her first book,

21
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,840
Speaker 1: I'm the Mom of a Teen Girl. Help. Gretchen and

22
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,680
Speaker 1: I chatted about some of the common concerns she hears

23
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,720
Speaker 1: working with teens and their moms, how moms can take

24
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,040
Speaker 1: care of themselves while parenting their teen daughter, how to

25
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,240
Speaker 1: support your daughter in making healthy decisions about things like

26
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,800
Speaker 1: friends and social media, and of course, she shared all

27
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,240
Speaker 1: of her favorite resources for moms of teens. If you

28
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,760
Speaker 1: hear something while listening that really resonates with you, please

29
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,240
Speaker 1: share with us on social media using the hashtag tv

30
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,120
Speaker 1: G in session. Here's our conversation. Thank you so much

31
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,679
Speaker 1: for joining us today, Gretchen, Thank you for having me

32
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,200
Speaker 1: got to joy. I'm very excited to have you here.

33
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 1: So you are fresh off the heels of your premier

34
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,200
Speaker 1: book called I'm a Mom of a Teen Girl Help,

35
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,160
Speaker 1: and I yes, and I'm sure that there are lots

36
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,480
Speaker 1: of moms of teens and tweets listening who definitely needs

37
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,920
Speaker 1: your help. So I'm glad you could join us today. Right, So, Gretchen,

38
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,359
Speaker 1: tell me what are some of the common concerns that

39
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,880
Speaker 1: moms of teens and tweets are coming into your office with.

40
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,440
Speaker 1: That is a great question, So I've been working with

41
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,200
Speaker 1: this population for a really long time, and a lot

42
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,880
Speaker 1: of the same questions constantly came up. Most of them

43
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:55,160
Speaker 1: were around like peer relationships, just girls being girls, school

44
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,880
Speaker 1: and teacher stress. A lot of privacy and social media

45
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:04,880
Speaker 1: is coming up nowadays, but also emotional health, dating and relationships,

46
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,960
Speaker 1: puberty and just the mother daughter relationship period and how

47
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:14,440
Speaker 1: they communicate. Yeah, and we have very actual community around

48
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,760
Speaker 1: the podcast, and so we definitely get lots of questions about,

49
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,959
Speaker 1: you know, how do I help my team do x

50
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,880
Speaker 1: Y and z are I'm struggling with her related to this,

51
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,560
Speaker 1: and so I'm glad that we have you here to

52
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,760
Speaker 1: talk about some of those very concerns that you just listed. Yeah,

53
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,360
Speaker 1: it's glad to be of service. So what are some

54
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:34,360
Speaker 1: of the primary developmental issues that kind of are coming

55
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,400
Speaker 1: up in this age that really kind of sometimes make

56
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,960
Speaker 1: it precarious for mom and daughter. Yeah, So I think

57
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,200
Speaker 1: some of the primary developmental issues that are coming up

58
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,440
Speaker 1: during this age is just there's a lot of development

59
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:51,720
Speaker 1: to hormonal changes that are happening between between and teen years,

60
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,600
Speaker 1: and some of the stuff is really just normal developments,

61
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,120
Speaker 1: And you know, I often have to ask moms like

62
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,600
Speaker 1: do you remember when you were this age and some

63
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,240
Speaker 1: of the things that came up for you. Because most

64
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,360
Speaker 1: of the stuff really is the same, it's just heightened

65
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,280
Speaker 1: a little more in this day and age because evolution

66
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,640
Speaker 1: exists and kids have evolved, and so some of the

67
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,400
Speaker 1: same norms that our parents might have viewed, some of

68
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,760
Speaker 1: the same parents and skills that they might have used,

69
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,320
Speaker 1: they just don't work with the kids these days. And

70
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,200
Speaker 1: so yeah, and so the developmental changes that are happening

71
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,360
Speaker 1: are just normal developmental changes. The relationship between the mother

72
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,600
Speaker 1: and daughter and that dynamic can be really trying, and

73
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:36,520
Speaker 1: sometimes moms are going crazy trying to figure out why

74
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,520
Speaker 1: doesn't she talk to me? Why is she always moody?

75
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,919
Speaker 1: And a lot of that really is because of the

76
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,480
Speaker 1: developmental hormonal changes that are going gone and the brain

77
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,400
Speaker 1: development um And so I sometimes try to give them

78
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,240
Speaker 1: some psychoeded but not too much jargon, just because it

79
00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:55,359
Speaker 1: can be overwhelming even for myself. And so I try

80
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,320
Speaker 1: to normalize some of the changes that they're experiencing and

81
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,680
Speaker 1: explain it to you, the parent, on the level that

82
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,960
Speaker 1: they can understand. So can you share some of that

83
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,960
Speaker 1: with us, Gretchen, Like, what are some of the psychoed

84
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,440
Speaker 1: pieces that you typically try to share with your clients. Yeah,

85
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,719
Speaker 1: So I typically and in that show, I try to

86
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:15,160
Speaker 1: share with the parents, Like, think about all the changes

87
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:19,720
Speaker 1: that you experience as an adult, right, and this is

88
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,880
Speaker 1: with a normal developing adult brain. And so you might

89
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:28,039
Speaker 1: be trying to be a mom, a boss, a wife,

90
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,839
Speaker 1: and also dealing with relationship issues, right, and think about

91
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:37,479
Speaker 1: how much you can manage without wanting to explode. So,

92
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:41,520
Speaker 1: now put your child in that situation, right, and her

93
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,960
Speaker 1: brain is still developing and so brains are still developing

94
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,080
Speaker 1: up until the age of twenty five. And so that's

95
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,880
Speaker 1: the picture that I like to give parents, is that

96
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,480
Speaker 1: your kid's brain is still developing, but there's all these

97
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:56,000
Speaker 1: rapid fires coming at them. And so that's parents stress,

98
00:05:56,080 --> 00:06:00,480
Speaker 1: that's school stress, that's social stress, social media stress, all

99
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:04,799
Speaker 1: these other additional attitudes that are happening with an underdeveloped brain.

100
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:11,760
Speaker 1: Hen you know, reactive responses that they do, being impulsive, imposted,

101
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,800
Speaker 1: decision making, all those different things that apparents like she's

102
00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:19,440
Speaker 1: really driving me crazy. Well, it's because her brain is undeveloped.

103
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,400
Speaker 1: M Yeah, And I think that that is the key, right,

104
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,320
Speaker 1: is to really try to hold both of those things

105
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,400
Speaker 1: being true, that you have a team with an underdeveloped,

106
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,680
Speaker 1: are still developing brain, but that you're also getting kind

107
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,160
Speaker 1: of triggered probably by a lot of the decisions she

108
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,279
Speaker 1: may be making. And how do you really work on,

109
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,360
Speaker 1: like managing your own emotions and your own reactions so

110
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:46,280
Speaker 1: that you can support her. Yeah, so what are some

111
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,640
Speaker 1: of your tips for moms who are about how to

112
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,440
Speaker 1: kind of manage their own reactions so that they can't

113
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,039
Speaker 1: do a good job of supporting their team. So that's

114
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,760
Speaker 1: a great question because the number one to response that

115
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,800
Speaker 1: team girls give me as far as why they don't

116
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:05,320
Speaker 1: share information with their mother, it's because they are concerned

117
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:09,160
Speaker 1: about the reaction, how she's going to react. And when

118
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,600
Speaker 1: I tell you, like I've asked young girls this question

119
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:16,600
Speaker 1: dating back to early two thousand in my career up

120
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,280
Speaker 1: until this day, and that is usually the number one

121
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,160
Speaker 1: response is that they're fearful of how their mom is

122
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:27,880
Speaker 1: going to respond, typically because moms go into fix it mode, right,

123
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,920
Speaker 1: and so the daughter comes to them with a question

124
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,920
Speaker 1: and mom immediately goes into how do I fix it

125
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:39,240
Speaker 1: before she even gets the opportunity to really explain what's

126
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,520
Speaker 1: going on. So I try to encourage moms to allow

127
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,880
Speaker 1: them to sometimes just to talk, because at the end

128
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,240
Speaker 1: of the day, that's what the team really wants. She

129
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,920
Speaker 1: really just wants to talk, and sometimes she just wants

130
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,800
Speaker 1: you to listen. And so it does take some will

131
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:59,160
Speaker 1: power and holding yourself back and not responding immediately and

132
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:03,080
Speaker 1: just being my aful that she's a team and that

133
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,480
Speaker 1: she wants to communicate with you. But how you respond

134
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,280
Speaker 1: to her will definitely determine how often she comes back

135
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,160
Speaker 1: to you to share whatever's going on in her life.

136
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,320
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Yeah, So really trying to stop some of

137
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,760
Speaker 1: that fix it tendency and you know, the prepetitor you

138
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,520
Speaker 1: have sometimes I want to fix it and actually just listening,

139
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,200
Speaker 1: which of course is a great tip when we are

140
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:29,720
Speaker 1: even talking about relationships with other adults exactly. Yeah, and

141
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,000
Speaker 1: so some moms are able to do that really easy,

142
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,400
Speaker 1: but some moms really do struggle with it. I've even

143
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,760
Speaker 1: encourage moms to have like a no judgment zone where

144
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,200
Speaker 1: you are saying that you're going to allow your kids

145
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,360
Speaker 1: to just talk about whatever and you're not going to judge,

146
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,600
Speaker 1: meaning you just sit there and listen until sometimes if

147
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,960
Speaker 1: you specify a significant time that we are going to

148
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,840
Speaker 1: have a no judgment zone talk. You can go in

149
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,320
Speaker 1: being prepared that she might, you know, hit you with

150
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:04,480
Speaker 1: something that you really weren't accepting, which has definitely happened. M. Yeah,

151
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,080
Speaker 1: and then you have to hold up your into the

152
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:10,400
Speaker 1: bargain of not judgment. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely, So I want

153
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,200
Speaker 1: to get back into a social media topic because I

154
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,280
Speaker 1: do know that they're you know, and some of the

155
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,520
Speaker 1: previous episodes we've had with other therapists who work with teens,

156
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,360
Speaker 1: this is definitely something that continues to come up, is

157
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,840
Speaker 1: helping your teen and tweens and kind of navigate the

158
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:28,960
Speaker 1: social media space. So do you have particular policies that

159
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,160
Speaker 1: you like to work with your mom's and teens with

160
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,240
Speaker 1: about like how they might be using social media depending

161
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:39,480
Speaker 1: on their age. I do. And so every parent that

162
00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:43,360
Speaker 1: comes to my office these days, they come and saying

163
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,000
Speaker 1: social media is an issue and they don't know how

164
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000
Speaker 1: to handle it, they don't know how to manage it.

165
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,880
Speaker 1: And my question is always like, well, how can you

166
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,760
Speaker 1: not know? So you're the parent, you are purchasing the device,

167
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,160
Speaker 1: the kid is not paying the bill, which means that

168
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:02,760
Speaker 1: you control it, right, But most parents feel that they

169
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,040
Speaker 1: don't have any control over it. And I think because

170
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:10,000
Speaker 1: just our society today, everyone is so addicted to their phone,

171
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,679
Speaker 1: and so I think parents feel that they are obligated

172
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,680
Speaker 1: to allow their child to have the cell phone morning, noon,

173
00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,880
Speaker 1: and night. And my responses, that's not healthy, and there's

174
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:23,880
Speaker 1: tons of research that says it's not healthy. Dr Joy.

175
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:28,560
Speaker 1: Every single week GM has something on the news about

176
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,880
Speaker 1: social media and kids and how there needs to be

177
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,760
Speaker 1: some limits put around it. So I often provide a

178
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,360
Speaker 1: contract or suggest a contract. There's tons of contracts that

179
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,280
Speaker 1: you can find online. I've actually got a contract in

180
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,360
Speaker 1: my book that parents can adapt to their family, because

181
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,800
Speaker 1: I think each family is going to look completely different.

182
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:51,040
Speaker 1: But having a kid being able to utilize the cell

183
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:55,400
Speaker 1: phone from morning tonight number one is the ultimate. No.

184
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,959
Speaker 1: Now that is going to be the thorn in your

185
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,520
Speaker 1: side for everything. They should have unlimited use to a

186
00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,040
Speaker 1: cell phone. And so some parents will say, well, they

187
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,679
Speaker 1: actually need it for school, and so that may be true.

188
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,120
Speaker 1: They may need it for school, however you can still

189
00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 1: monitor that when they come home. There should be like

190
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,200
Speaker 1: a docking station. The kids should be able to do

191
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 1: homework without a cell phone and they can usually if

192
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,520
Speaker 1: something is online, they can use a laptop or a computer, right.

193
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:30,880
Speaker 1: I also encourage parents to put in rules around ethically,

194
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,040
Speaker 1: like how you're going to use this phone, being real

195
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:38,160
Speaker 1: mindful about what you share on social media, the pictures

196
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,080
Speaker 1: that you share on social media, because the parent can

197
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:46,480
Speaker 1: be held responsible for what kids are sharing via social

198
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,280
Speaker 1: media these days, and so I think a lot of

199
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,360
Speaker 1: parents don't know that piece is that they can also

200
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:56,080
Speaker 1: be held accountable if their kid is using social media inappropriately.

201
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,160
Speaker 1: There's tons of other ways that you can monitor kids.

202
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,440
Speaker 1: There's tons of different apps now that parents can actually

203
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:06,760
Speaker 1: shut down social media. I think KTP is one. There's

204
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,800
Speaker 1: times that parents can actually put on their device and

205
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:14,559
Speaker 1: actually shut off internet and soil then the kid can't

206
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:18,959
Speaker 1: actually use it. Might also encourage parents to have family

207
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:23,080
Speaker 1: time that means that no one is using social media,

208
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,280
Speaker 1: no one is using their cellphone during that time. And

209
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,440
Speaker 1: I would imagine that some families are maybe hoping to

210
00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:33,920
Speaker 1: and maybe struggling with like not even allowing the kids

211
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 1: to have it at all, right, which I would imagine

212
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:40,520
Speaker 1: introduces another layer of maybe tension because the kid is

213
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,360
Speaker 1: probably going to school with their friends and everybody else

214
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,760
Speaker 1: is kind of using it. But maybe you have decided

215
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,440
Speaker 1: that you really don't want your child to have access

216
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,440
Speaker 1: to social media at all, So how might you navigate that,

217
00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:55,440
Speaker 1: you know, within their like social relationships. Yeah, so there

218
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,520
Speaker 1: are some parents who have decided that they don't want

219
00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:01,440
Speaker 1: their kids to have a cell phone and or just

220
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,439
Speaker 1: use social media period, even on a laptop or a

221
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,840
Speaker 1: computer at home, And so the kids are constantly asking.

222
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,959
Speaker 1: It's hugely betweens that are asking, and the parents are

223
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,040
Speaker 1: like no, Like I think they're you know, really not

224
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,720
Speaker 1: mature enough. But all their friends are getting the device,

225
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,680
Speaker 1: and so we talk about what are some healthy ways

226
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:24,719
Speaker 1: to have a cell phone? Right, and so how can

227
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,120
Speaker 1: you have a cell phone? Who's going to be on

228
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:32,040
Speaker 1: your contact list? What apps are you going to download?

229
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,800
Speaker 1: And really having open communication from the start, which is

230
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:39,280
Speaker 1: why I think any kid who has a cellphone should

231
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,880
Speaker 1: have a cell phone contract from day one, because it's

232
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,360
Speaker 1: sets the kids up to know that my parents is

233
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:50,000
Speaker 1: going to be monitoring me, and it really allows the

234
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,719
Speaker 1: parent and child to have open dialogue about appropriate use

235
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,720
Speaker 1: of a cellphone and appropriate use of social media. So,

236
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,320
Speaker 1: you know, I think twell, most parents are like eleven

237
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,679
Speaker 1: twelve they feel like, oh, like they might be ready

238
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:04,680
Speaker 1: to have it, And so that's when we start talking

239
00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,360
Speaker 1: about what are healthy ways that you can have access

240
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,720
Speaker 1: to the cell phone, but not abuse the privilege and

241
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,680
Speaker 1: not allow the cell phone to take over. Yeah, and

242
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:15,880
Speaker 1: like you mentioned earlier, aggression, I think some of it

243
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,440
Speaker 1: also comes back to looking at your own use of

244
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,840
Speaker 1: the cell phone. Right, So if your daughter sees you

245
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,840
Speaker 1: on the phone all the time, then of course I

246
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,280
Speaker 1: think that that reinforces the idea that this is kind

247
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,880
Speaker 1: of what we do and I want to be a

248
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,800
Speaker 1: part of it too. Yeah, definitely. I've even had some

249
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,440
Speaker 1: kids say that their parents are on the cell phone

250
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,160
Speaker 1: all the time, and so it's confusing to them on

251
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,280
Speaker 1: how the parent is trying to set limits when they're

252
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,520
Speaker 1: actually on their cell phone. And so in the contract

253
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,320
Speaker 1: that I have it in the book, I actually encourage

254
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:48,600
Speaker 1: parents to implement family time where there is absolutely no

255
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,480
Speaker 1: electronic device at all, and so that's just specified for

256
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,880
Speaker 1: a family to interact and to engage, and families really

257
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,320
Speaker 1: appreciate that. I think we've gotten away from that as

258
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,040
Speaker 1: a society of just sitting down and having a family

259
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,240
Speaker 1: meal or stop having a device attached to us or

260
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,760
Speaker 1: without having the TV on, use that time to interact

261
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,000
Speaker 1: and to communicate with each other, which is great for

262
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,960
Speaker 1: just building the relationships. M hmm, yeah, I like that idea.

263
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,080
Speaker 1: So something else I want to chat about, Gretchen, And

264
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,520
Speaker 1: it probably goes back to one of your earlier points

265
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,520
Speaker 1: about moms reacting, But we have had a lot of

266
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:27,160
Speaker 1: questions come in about really struggling with their teens and

267
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:32,000
Speaker 1: tweens not being honest, so lying or leaving out things purposely,

268
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,840
Speaker 1: like just really really struggling with not being able to

269
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,880
Speaker 1: get the truth from their teens are tweens. So what

270
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,760
Speaker 1: are your thoughts about, like how you might be able

271
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,600
Speaker 1: to handle that if you have a teen or a

272
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,160
Speaker 1: tween who really it feels like it's having some trouble

273
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:49,440
Speaker 1: with the truth. Yeah, so you know, surprisingly well not surprisingly,

274
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,680
Speaker 1: but most of the families that I've worked with, we

275
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,400
Speaker 1: are the child is lying. It usually goes back to

276
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 1: the relationship that they have with the parents, and often

277
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,920
Speaker 1: it's because the parents aren't communicating with the child, and

278
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,320
Speaker 1: sometimes the child feels like they have to be dishonest

279
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,400
Speaker 1: about whatever the situation is, whether or not it's a

280
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:16,280
Speaker 1: relationship or academic concerns is usually because there's not healthy

281
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:20,200
Speaker 1: communication on an ongoing basis, and so I really try

282
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,680
Speaker 1: to work with moms and daughters on establishing a good

283
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,960
Speaker 1: routine of checking in on a regular basis. And so

284
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,800
Speaker 1: that could look like a text for mom if we're

285
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 1: going to be using a phone sending a text like hey,

286
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,200
Speaker 1: how was your day, or having a check in time

287
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 1: when she comes home from school to check in to

288
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 1: see how your day was, did anything come up? And

289
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,240
Speaker 1: it doesn't always have to be so structured. I try

290
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,360
Speaker 1: to highlight pointing out the specific times of the day

291
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 1: where moms and doors are likely spending times together. And

292
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 1: so maybe that looks like a drive to and from school,

293
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:58,040
Speaker 1: Perhaps that looks like when mom is preparing dinner and

294
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 1: or cleaning you those downtimes to try to have open dialogue.

295
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,920
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, once you have open dialogue with your daughter,

296
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,320
Speaker 1: she the floodgates will open and you won't be able

297
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,440
Speaker 1: to shut her up. And I've had mom's come back

298
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,680
Speaker 1: and say like the tip was really helpful because once

299
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,520
Speaker 1: I provided the space for her that she felt more

300
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,960
Speaker 1: comfortable with sharing things, and then the dishonesty decreased because

301
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,240
Speaker 1: the kids feels like, Oh, like Mom is really open,

302
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 1: she's listening to me, she's not judging, and so therefore

303
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,400
Speaker 1: I feel more comfortable with sharing things with her now.

304
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 1: I think parents of today are definitely used to parenting

305
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:40,520
Speaker 1: the way our parents parents at us, which means I'm

306
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,800
Speaker 1: the parent. What I say goes, which is fine, Like

307
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,919
Speaker 1: I get it, but you gotta know that if you

308
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,760
Speaker 1: rule your house with an iron fifth that sometimes you're

309
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 1: gonna get it back from kids because kids just are

310
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,040
Speaker 1: different today and you really do have to step outside

311
00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,400
Speaker 1: of the box and try some different parenting tools. Yeah,

312
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,520
Speaker 1: I'm glad you've mentioned that aggresson because I did want

313
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,960
Speaker 1: to talk more about that, right, Like, because you will

314
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 1: often hear like these conversations and we kind of like

315
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:09,840
Speaker 1: laugh and joke about it online, are in our relationships

316
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 1: in real life about our moms telling us like I'm

317
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,479
Speaker 1: not one of your little friends, Like don't you know

318
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,359
Speaker 1: that kind of thing? Right? And I think that there

319
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,200
Speaker 1: has to be a really delicate balance there, Right, So

320
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,360
Speaker 1: mom doesn't necessarily have to be your friend, of course

321
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 1: you're not her peer, but is there own way to

322
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:30,679
Speaker 1: parents and still have a relationship where she sees you

323
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,239
Speaker 1: as the authority and understands boundaries. But that is not

324
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,639
Speaker 1: one where she does not want to talk to you

325
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,680
Speaker 1: because she's afraid of you or your reaction. Yeah, there

326
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 1: definitely is. And again I think it goes back to

327
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:48,919
Speaker 1: having good communication, setting healthy limits and boundaries, because, believe

328
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 1: it or not, kids want boundaries, they want rules. I've

329
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 1: worked with kids who said when parents set limits and

330
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,680
Speaker 1: boundaries for them, they know that the parent cares right,

331
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,199
Speaker 1: and so when they don't set limits and boundaries, or

332
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,640
Speaker 1: if they don't follow through with the limits and boundaries,

333
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,359
Speaker 1: they feel like the parent doesn't care because they aren't

334
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:11,000
Speaker 1: following through with what they said that they would because

335
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,359
Speaker 1: kids know when they're wrong, and so setting healthy limits

336
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 1: and boundaries, having open communication, and just checking in with

337
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 1: their kids on a regular basis. Like some kids tell

338
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 1: me their parents don't check in with them, they feel

339
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 1: like the parents don't care, right. I think we as

340
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,720
Speaker 1: adults are cut off in our own life, and so

341
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 1: sometimes I think we think, if my kid has a

342
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 1: roof over their head, food to eat, clothes on their back,

343
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,200
Speaker 1: like they're good, I don't need to worry about anything else.

344
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 1: But there's lots going on today again with social media,

345
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 1: kids are being exposed to so much it's impacting them

346
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:50,199
Speaker 1: in ways that you can't imagine. Yeah, so it sounds like,

347
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 1: and you've mentioned this several times, catching the communication really

348
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 1: is important. So beyond like the set times to check in,

349
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,880
Speaker 1: trying to establish a no judgment zone for maybe at

350
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 1: some point in your week where you can kind of

351
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 1: have these open conversations. Are there other tips you would

352
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,479
Speaker 1: share for how to do a better job of like

353
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 1: setting up a good communication with your team. Yeah, so

354
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 1: I think just using down time, um, having family time,

355
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 1: specified family time, developmental milestones that young girls are reaching,

356
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: doing some coaching with them. You know, when young ladies

357
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 1: start to be interested in relationships, exploring that with him

358
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 1: and being open to that the relationship might not look

359
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,760
Speaker 1: like the normal hetero sexual relationships. I think that parents

360
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 1: are used to because I've also that was that as well,

361
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 1: but in being open to like, your kid may be

362
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 1: interested in things that you didn't expect them to be

363
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: interested in, right, Because I think when moms have daughters,

364
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,199
Speaker 1: they expect them to be mirrors of themselves, And so

365
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,880
Speaker 1: I think you've got to take it off and put

366
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 1: it on the shelf because your kid is not you

367
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 1: knowing that they're their own person, respecting them for who

368
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 1: they are and the decisions that they make, and just

369
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 1: being open to parenting differently. I mean, you can use

370
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 1: some of the same parenting techniques. I'm clearly not telling

371
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 1: moms like don't do anything that your mother said because

372
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 1: it's not a good work, because some of that stuff

373
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 1: still work, but being open to integrating some new parenting

374
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 1: techniques because your kids are different. So another struggle that

375
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 1: I think a lot of moms have with teens and

376
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: tweens is their support system. So what do their peer

377
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 1: relationships look like? Sometimes, um, you get into a situation

378
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 1: where you're not really may be fond of their teens

379
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: that your children are making friends with, and so how

380
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 1: do you manage that? How do you manage like allowing

381
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 1: them to make their own decisions about relationships, but also

382
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 1: wanting them to kind of be careful with something we

383
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 1: may see going on that they may not quite see.

384
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 1: So dumber one by not judging. Part of my book

385
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,399
Speaker 1: with I I wrote us it when she shows you

386
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,640
Speaker 1: a picture of the person that she like, like, hold

387
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: your tongue, don't judge right because it might not be

388
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:09,159
Speaker 1: what you were expecting, but don't judge, but ax, you know,

389
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 1: probing questions, why is this person important to you? Why

390
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,879
Speaker 1: is this relationship important to you? Right? Does this person

391
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 1: make you feel special? Or how is this friendship important

392
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 1: to you? How is the friendship positive for you? Asking

393
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 1: questions where you can explore more about the dynamics of

394
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: the relationships that your daughter is creating, because they won't

395
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: be thinking right like, oh, she's just trying to figure

396
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 1: out like if the relationship is healthy enough, they'll probably

397
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,879
Speaker 1: be thinking mom is just trying to be nosy, but

398
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 1: it really is. You really trying to explore why she's

399
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: identifying specific people and why she calls them friends, right,

400
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,120
Speaker 1: And so because you you'll be able to get more

401
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 1: information because if she says, oh, I would like to

402
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:59,880
Speaker 1: hang out with them because you know, we have similar

403
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 1: music interest so that might be one thing. But what

404
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 1: if she says something like well, they're the cool kids

405
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,440
Speaker 1: in school that smoke. That's going to prove some different

406
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: questions like well, what makes you want to hang out

407
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 1: with them? Is it because they're the cool kids or

408
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: is it because they're smoking? And let's talk about that

409
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: and is that healthy? And gression do you watch This

410
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 1: is Us. Okay, so are you caught up? What's caught up?

411
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 1: What's the last episode? Um? So this season? Like, are

412
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: you aware of what's happening? Okay? Perfect? So I when

413
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 1: you were talking, and I hadn't even thought about this

414
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,479
Speaker 1: before our conversation when you were talking just about like

415
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 1: how your teams may be interested in people that you

416
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: may not have expected, especially when we're thinking about like

417
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 1: not everybody has hetero sexual so you can't expect that

418
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: your team will be interested in a boy, so to speak.

419
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 1: So I think that they have done a really nice

420
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: job Randall and uh, what's his wife's name? Oh? Yes,

421
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 1: I'm not getting better. She's one of my favorites Randall

422
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: and Beth. I feel like I've done a really good

423
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 1: job in supporting tests who has come out as a

424
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 1: lesbian on the show, and you know, really I'm not

425
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: expecting that, but of course wanting to be supportive of her,

426
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: and then the conversations they have kind of had behind

427
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: closed doors about how they're going to continue to support

428
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: her in her journey. Yeah, and so that is really

429
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: really important, especially in this day and age. I can't

430
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 1: tell you some of the parents who have contacted me

431
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 1: with concerns about sexuality the damage that it does sometimes

432
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: right when parents aren't accepting of their kids. Can't tell

433
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 1: you how much it impacts young ladies when they come

434
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: in and say, my parents don't accept me and who

435
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to or who I'm dating, and they're already

436
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,719
Speaker 1: thinking about moving out and saying I know when I

437
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 1: turned eighteen that I'm not going back. And so I've

438
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: had to have some difficult conversations with parents, like you

439
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 1: realize that you are really doing damage to this relationship

440
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 1: and that she's a really thinking about leaving. And some

441
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:06,119
Speaker 1: parents can come around and try to become more aware

442
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: and more accepting. I refer them to different support groups, etcetera.

443
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 1: But some parents just really are not open, and it

444
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: does some real damage. It really does. And I think

445
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 1: the more and more that society becomes accepting of the

446
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 1: LGBT community, maybe the more pants will be open. I

447
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 1: don't know, it's it's a it's a topic that comes

448
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: up a lot, and it's coming up more and more

449
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 1: and more. Yeah, and I and I do think it

450
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 1: is really important to pay attention to, especially when you

451
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 1: look at the continuing numbers we get you know, moving

452
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: away from maybe sexual orientation to gender presentation, right, and

453
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 1: the high numbers of suicides we see with trans young

454
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: people of color specifically, you know, And so I think

455
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: we have to do a better job as parents and

456
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 1: talking about and being k and supporting and celebrating our

457
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 1: kids and whatever their life will look like, but really

458
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: making sure we do the work that we have to

459
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 1: agrieve what we thought our kids were going to be

460
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: and really celebrate exactly who they are. Yeah, I think

461
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: that's what it is. I think every parent when they

462
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: have kids, they automatically assume that it's going to be

463
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,879
Speaker 1: a mini version of themselves. And the reality is is

464
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 1: that it's not that your kids like they're their own

465
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 1: individual person, and so they are going to have different

466
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 1: interests than you did. They're gonna like different music, they're

467
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: going to address differently, their friends are going to look differently,

468
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 1: and their sexual orientation and or identity might be different

469
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 1: than what you expected. And you've got to be open

470
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 1: and accepting of that or you're gonna lose your kids

471
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 1: because it's happening on a regular basis. Yeah. Yeah, So, Gretien,

472
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 1: are there other parts of the book that you feel

473
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: like we definitely want to make sure that we cover

474
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 1: you know, like something that you kind of keep seeing

475
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 1: in your office that you're like, oh, we definitely have

476
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 1: to talk about this. So, I think and teacher stress

477
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: is a big one. I've worked with tons of parents

478
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: who said to me that their kid is struggling in school,

479
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,239
Speaker 1: but they found out like after, you know, maybe at

480
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 1: the end of the year or when we report cards

481
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 1: come out. And I'm like, well, how could you not

482
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 1: have known? He said, well, I thought that the teacher

483
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: would have contacted me. And I'm like, ma'am, the teacher

484
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 1: is teaching anywhere between I don't know students per day.

485
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 1: You've got one kid, which means you've got one job

486
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: to check or maybe you have multiple kids. However, you

487
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: don't have sixty check in with the teachers to see

488
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,719
Speaker 1: how your kid is doing. Most schools I know here

489
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: in North Carolina, they have online boards where parents can

490
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: actually go in and look at their kids reports to

491
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,880
Speaker 1: see how they're dealing. Try to encourage parents to stay

492
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 1: on top of that, reaching out the teachers on a weekly,

493
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 1: bi weekly, or monthly basis, depending on how much your

494
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: kid is struggling. If they're struggling at all. It also

495
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: helps to you know, creates a network where you are

496
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: in constant communication with the teachers that your child is

497
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: interacting with on a regular basis, and then lets the

498
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 1: kids know that you're gonna be checking in on them

499
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 1: and so they'll stay on the top of their work

500
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 1: and not wait until the end of the school year

501
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: trying to catch up. So that's one topic that comes

502
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 1: up a lot. I think because college and college prep

503
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: is so huge, I think that's why it comes up

504
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: so often. Parents are overwhelmed with what their kids need

505
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,359
Speaker 1: to be doing now, and this could be as early

506
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,239
Speaker 1: as middle school. They're concerned about what their kids are

507
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: doing now and how it's going to impact them when

508
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 1: they go to college. I'm just like, allow your kids

509
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: just to be a kid. They aren't even in high school.

510
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: And even when they're in high school freshman year, parents

511
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: are already, oh, we need to be on top of things.

512
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: Colleges are going to be looking at this year and

513
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: that year, and trying to get them involved in so

514
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 1: many different activities where the kids can't even be to

515
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: be kids anymore. There's not a lot of downtime because

516
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 1: of the activities that parents have lined up for the

517
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: kids where they're not it's in school or outside of school,

518
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 1: just so that it looks good on the transcript for college.

519
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought that up, Gretchen, because I hadn't

520
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 1: completely forgot about that. Of course, my little people are

521
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: not college agent, so that isn't on my radar quite. Yeah,

522
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: but you're red. I can imagine that that does introduce

523
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: a new level of stress into the house once we're

524
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: talking about college applications and what we're gonna need to

525
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: do to get you ready in that kind of thing.

526
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 1: And I do think that sometimes parents are typically driving

527
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: the boat on that, right. I mean, sometimes kids are

528
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: really insular, but I think more often it is the

529
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 1: parents kind of thinking about, Okay, what are these next

530
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: four years gonna look like? Yeah, pretty much? And and

531
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: I think some parents do a great job at having

532
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: a good balance. Some parents I work with go overboard

533
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: with wanting their kids to be in every single activity

534
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: inside of school and outside of school. And then it

535
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: come to me and they're struggling with anxiety, and I'm like, well,

536
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 1: this is why. Because they've got so many different responsibilities,

537
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 1: there's no downtime. It's like you're filling up all of

538
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 1: their time with different things to do so that it

539
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: will look good on the transcript, which is not healthy

540
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: because then the kids is struggling with anxiety, which is

541
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: the other piece that we should probably discuss the emotional

542
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: aspect and how that can be overlooked. Yeah, so what

543
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: else would you say about that in terms of like

544
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: the emotions that the team may be having during that time. Yeah,

545
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: So a lot of teams these days are struggling with

546
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: depression and anxiety. I would say about percent of my

547
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: teams that I work with are struggling with anxiety. A

548
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: lot of it is based around social stressors, academic stress,

549
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: and parents stress. Right, And so I think that parents

550
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: need to be mindful when their kids are coming to

551
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: them and saying something is wrong. I feel like something

552
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 1: is wrong. I can't tell you how many kids have

553
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: come to my office and said, I've been telling my

554
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: mom that I want to see a therapist for six

555
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: months or a year, but they don't show up until

556
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 1: after there's a crisis, after they've been assessed at the er,

557
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: after they've been impatient. That's when they showed at the office.

558
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 1: And I think parents try to gloss over overlook some

559
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: of the emotional concerns because no one wants their kids

560
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: to struggle. And I get that, like everybody wants their

561
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 1: kids to have a normal, healthy life, and that's fine. However,

562
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: there's a lot of stressors that your kids are under,

563
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: and so overlooking the emotional peace is not doing the

564
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: many justice when your kid verbalizes, because it takes a

565
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: lot for a kid to come to a parent to say, Mom,

566
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: I feel depressed, or Mom, I feel really anxious. I

567
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 1: feel like I need someone to talk to take key

568
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 1: to that and get them help, and don't prolong it

569
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: because the prolonging process could be really detrimental to their

570
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 1: emotional health and well being. I think it's also really important,

571
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 1: you know, because I think sometimes what happens is that

572
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: moms will kind of minimize what they feel like their

573
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: teams are going through, like, oh, it's just a heartbreak,

574
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: or oh her and her friend fell out, and so

575
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: it's not a big deal. But your kids have emotions

576
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: just like you, And so if you can think about,

577
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,239
Speaker 1: you know, when you have been broken hearted or you

578
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: have struggled with a friend, kind of going back to

579
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 1: your earlier comment, like you feel that deeply as well,

580
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 1: So we shouldn't anticipate that our teams are not feeling

581
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: those things on the same level as well. Yeah, definitely,

582
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: And I tried to paint paint that picture for parents.

583
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: Sometimes they get it doc joy and sometimes they don't.

584
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: But kids do, like they are experiencing their life in

585
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 1: their own in their own way. And sometimes I think

586
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 1: it's difficult for parents to really understand why they are

587
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 1: struggling so much when they have food to eat, clothes

588
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 1: on the back, they got a cell phone, they might

589
00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: have a car. When you're providing all these tangible things

590
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: for them and they're still struggling emotionally. Like, that's difficult

591
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: for a lot of parents to grasp and understand because

592
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: they kids these days now often have more than what

593
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: the parents did, and the parents are wondering, like, why

594
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,959
Speaker 1: are you struggling so much when you have all these things?

595
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: And that's because things can't prepare anxiety. They can't you know,

596
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: repair depression. If your kid is struggling, there's another there's

597
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: another layer that you're avoiding addressing because things don't address those. Yeah.

598
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 1: The other thing that teams have access too much earlier

599
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: than I think that we did. As you know, younger

600
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 1: people is access to all of these mental health resources, right.

601
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 1: So I think there's some information from the Crisis text

602
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: line that talks about like thirteen year olds being one

603
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: of their highest level of users, right, and so they

604
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: also have this information about mental health, how to check

605
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 1: in with themselves and with anxiety and depression. Feels like

606
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 1: where we probably did not have access or you know,

607
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: the language to really describe that as younger people. Yeah,

608
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,239
Speaker 1: you're absolutely right. I mean a lot of teams that

609
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 1: come to me, they are already using different apps, you know,

610
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: to to communicate with other people about how they're feeling.

611
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 1: They're already using calm and headspace to try to manage stuff.

612
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 1: The teams these days are real savvy, like they know

613
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: how to research and get access to help. And it's

614
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,800
Speaker 1: the parents that you just need to get on board

615
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 1: with accepting that it's it's not a life sentence, right.

616
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 1: I think sometimes parents feel that if they start to

617
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 1: see a therapist and something is really wrong and this

618
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: is like a death sentence, it's not. It's not. Your

619
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: kids may just need to talk to someone for a

620
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 1: few sessions m hm, and you may discover that it's

621
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 1: actually you that needs to talk to someone for some sessions, right,

622
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of times what we see

623
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: acting out in our teams lives is really a function

624
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 1: of like something going on with us as a parent. Yeah, definitely,

625
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: again the dying amy between terence and kids these days

626
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: with all the stressors that kids are under and parents

627
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 1: are under two and the parents own emotional trauma that

628
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: maybe they haven't dealt with, and maybe their relationship with

629
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 1: their parents, because that shows up as well. Moms are

630
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,439
Speaker 1: parenting the way their mother parents to them, and they're

631
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 1: not parenting because of some of the emotional trauma that

632
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 1: they themselves experienced. And I often have to encourage some

633
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: of my moms to seek counseling themselves because the way

634
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 1: their parenting is damaging their relationship with their child. So

635
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 1: what are some of your kind of final thoughts stretching

636
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: for any moms who might be listening about how they

637
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: can do a better job of taking care of theirselves

638
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: so that they can do a better job of taking

639
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: care of the teens. Yeah, So I think connecting with

640
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 1: other moms who have tweens and teens because you're all

641
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 1: experiencing the same thing. Moms often feel alone. At least

642
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 1: that's what most of the moms have said to me,

643
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: is that they often feel alone and can't imagine that

644
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: anybody else is conspiracing some of the same things that

645
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,320
Speaker 1: they are, but connecting with other moms because it's likely

646
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: that they are going through some of those same hurdles.

647
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: Making sure that you're taking care of yourself and giving

648
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: yourself a break, you know, just checking in with your

649
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 1: extended support system when you need it, and also checking

650
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 1: in with your kids to say, hey, like, am I

651
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 1: doing a good job? Is there something that you feel

652
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,280
Speaker 1: like mom could be doing differently that could be helpful.

653
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: I've encouraged parents to do that. You'd be surprised by

654
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: the responses that the kids have gave moms. Like some

655
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: kids say like, I love you Mom, I always feel supported,

656
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 1: and some kids will say you're supportive, but sometimes I

657
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 1: feel like you judge me. Those are the nuggets that

658
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: you need to help improve the relationship with your kids,

659
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: because in that moment, the kids feels like they can

660
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: be vulnerable and that they can share with you. I

661
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 1: love that dressing. Thank you. So what are some of

662
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: your favorite resources that moms might want to check out?

663
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 1: The tons of Instagram pages that I think are helpful. Okay,

664
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: so there's parents, there's parents parenting, mac at parenting Gosh,

665
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 1: what else, Mom, Mama, mac God, stop the joy You

666
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 1: caught me off? Fine, you can send them to me

667
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 1: later too, and I can add them to I will.

668
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: There's tons of parenting resources that you can google online

669
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 1: and find with tons of parenting advice and tons of

670
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 1: parenting support groups online. There's some really funny ones on

671
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 1: i G where it's like mom's and teen girls and

672
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: they're always making jokes in light of being a mom

673
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: who's parenting a tween or teen girl. Thank god you

674
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 1: And where can we find you online? Gretchen? Where can

675
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 1: we find information about your practice the book in any

676
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: social media do you want to share? Yep? So I

677
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:07,280
Speaker 1: am at Grow Encourage, empower dot com. You can find

678
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 1: me on I g at, Grow, Encourage and power dot

679
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: com as well as Twitter and Facebook. So I G,

680
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: Twitter and Facebook are all grow Encouraging in Power. Yes,

681
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,879
Speaker 1: perfect perfect, and they can find information about the book

682
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 1: there as well. Yes, they can find information about the

683
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 1: book on Instagram. The book is also on Amazon as

684
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: well as Storms and Noble. The e book and the

685
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 1: paperback perfect, but we will include all of that in

686
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,439
Speaker 1: the show notes, so don't worry. If you're listening, you'll

687
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 1: have all of those resources at your fingertips. Well, thank

688
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us today, Gretchen. I appreciate it.

689
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:50,719
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. This is awesome. Thanks. I'm so

690
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: glad Gretchen was able to share her expertise with us today.

691
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,800
Speaker 1: To find out more information about her and her practice,

692
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: arn't you grab a copy of her book. Check out

693
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,320
Speaker 1: the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot com

694
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 1: slash Session one thirty three, and please remember to share

695
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: this episode with two parents of teen girls in your circle,

696
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: and don't forget to share your takeaways with us either

697
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 1: on Twitter or in your I G stories using the

698
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: hashtag t b G in session. If you're searching for

699
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, be sure to check out

700
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 1: our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com

701
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,439
Speaker 1: slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into

702
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: this topic and meet some other sisters in your area,

703
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,280
Speaker 1: come on over and join us in the Yellow Couch Collective,

704
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 1: where we take a deeper dive into the topics from

705
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: the podcast and just about everything else you can join

706
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 1: us at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash y

707
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 1: c C. We won't be having a new episode next

708
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,240
Speaker 1: week as I'll be away celebrating the holidays with my family,

709
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 1: and I hope that you also have an opportunity to

710
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 1: have some time off to rest and rejuvenate. But we'll

711
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,360
Speaker 1: be back with a new episode on December three, and

712
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: we'll be releasing the last episode for this year in

713
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 1: December seventeen. Thank you all so much for joining me

714
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 1: again this week. I look forward to continue in this

715
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: conversation with you all real soon. Take good care,