WEBVTT - Good Enough Isn't Good Enough 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:14.640 Good morning, peeps, and welcome to Okay f Daily with 0:00:14.720 --> 0:00:18.439 me your Girl, Danielle Moody recording not so live but 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:21.960 live ish from my home in Brooklyn. See the plant babies. 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:24.279 Oh my god, Look how gorgeous they look. The sun 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:27.440 is setting them just right. Anyway, folks, I'm so excited 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.880 to be with you now five days a week on video. 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:32.560 I think that this is going to be a really 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:35.919 fun journey that we're going to take together. And I'm 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:38.960 excited that after writing with me on Patreon and on 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:41.800 audio for so long, that we can do something different. 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:45.919 So today, first, I want to start off with the 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:49.199 fact that I can't express to you how disappointed I 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:53.640 am in this administration. And I say that not because 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:56.000 I don't think that they have good intentions, but it's 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:58.560 because the road to hell is paved with good intentions. 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:04.839 It's because we recognis that, you know, having essentially Congress 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:10.000 and the White House isn't enough that you actually have 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:12.360 to have the will, You actually have to have the 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:15.520 fight within you. And I'm tired of us being fed 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:18.880 these lines like don't let the perfect get in the 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:21.800 way of the good, or something is better than nothing, 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:24.319 or this is historic even though it was gutted of 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:26.920 all of the things that people need right and I'm 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:30.080 talking about the Infrastructure Bill, and I'm talking about all 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:33.160 of the compromises, and by compromises, I actually mean the 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:36.400 way in which Joe Mansion and Kirsten's Cinema were able 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:39.640 to throw their weight around and essentially show us firsthand 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.119 that we no longer live in a democracy that two 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:45.319 people can halt progress for the rest of the country 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:48.840 just because they want to. They love the attention, they 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:51.120 love the money that is being thrown at them, they 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:53.639 love all of the headlines. But what they don't love, friends, 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:56.840 is America. What they don't love is progress and the 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:59.760 fact that we continue to refer to them as moderates 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:04.240 when they are not. They are They're not insurrectionists, So 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:07.960 I won't say that even though we have insurrectionists sitting 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.640 in Congress right now, none of which who have been 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:14.200 arrested or indicted or called before the one six Commission. 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:17.200 But they are obstructionists. And that's what I used to 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.600 refer to as Mitch mcconnellists as well as the Grim Reaper. 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:24.440 They are obstructionists. They don't want progress so long as 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.000 it interferes with their bag. And what do I mean 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:30.399 by their bag? Their money right, their pockets, like as 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:34.480 so long as they are fed, so long as their 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:37.679 families are bringing in millions, then they are good. The 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:40.760 disrespect that Kirsten cinema, and I'll keep saying it over 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:43.799 and over again, the disrespect that she showed the Senate 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:46.799 with her fucking denim jacket and the flipping of her 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:50.440 hair like she is some fucking high schooler was embarrassing. 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.120 And it was embarrassing for a couple of reasons because 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:56.560 it showed her absolute and total privilege right as a 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:59.040 white woman that gets to do and say whatever it 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:01.639 is that she wants to do. Black people aren't even 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:04.799 allowed to walk down the fucking street, right Like, everything 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.000 that we do is criticize, from the top of our 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:09.240 heads to the bottom of our toes, to the way 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.000 in which we straighten up our backs, or if we slouch, 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:14.600 or if we decide not to brush our hair that day, 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:17.000 or if we decide to do the most. It is 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:20.800 always criticized because everything that is on and comes from 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:24.880 a black body is politicized. So the very idea that 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:29.160 you can just shows just such, you know, casualness, just 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:33.800 such disregard at this critical time. And I know, folks, 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:36.640 you're like, oh, the clothes are not the problem, like 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:39.560 she's the problem, But it's the entire package. To me 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:43.080 that is the problem, and is the package of white privilege. 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:45.600 The other thing that I want to discuss is that 0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:48.360 tomorrow is one of the most consequential elections that we 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:50.920 will see in Virginia. And look, I'm tired of saying 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:53.960 the word consequential too, you know why, because every fucking 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:57.800 election is consequential. And what we saw following twenty twenty 0:03:57.880 --> 0:04:02.720 is that guess what elections matter, right, and how big 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:06.960 of a margin we have actually fucking matters. And so 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:10.960 here's the thing. You have Terry mcculiffe, and you have 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:14.520 junkin right, who are running in Virginia. You have a 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:18.080 man that is essentially Trump light. He is everything that 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.480 I said was going to happen. Right. Once you had 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:25.560 somebody who could speak a little smoother, maybe understood the 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:28.160 system a little better, was an easier pill to swallow, 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:31.560 but still had all of the same ideology and sentiments 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:34.279 of Donald Trump. Right. Put him up in a suit, 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.039 smack a smile on his face, have him not call 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.320 people outside of their names, and guess what you got yourself? 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:44.400 A candidate, This man wants to ban books in school, 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:48.120 Tony Morrison, to be exact right, he wants to ban 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:51.000 books in school. He doesn't want to have mask mandates, 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:53.960 he doesn't want abortion, he doesn't want all of the 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:57.800 things that Republicans are going after these days. If this 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:01.960 man wins, he is setting up his place right and 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:05.760 setting Trump is m in stone, because again, what do 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:08.800 people need to understand? So long as you are not 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:12.240 spinning hot shit or tweeting hot shit like Donald Trump 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:16.320 did for four years, then you'll be palpable, right. And 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:18.760 what we knew to be true is that Donald Trump 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:22.520 was palpable to seventy five million Americans, right, because that's 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:26.080 how many people voted for him. So just imagine a smoother, 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:30.960 more refined but with the same ideology person running for 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:34.279 office and them winning. The margins are closing in Virginia, 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:37.599 and frankly, I don't fucking understand why I have lived 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:40.160 in Virginia. I lived in Arlington for many years. I've 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:43.839 lived in Washington, DC for well over decades, and so 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:46.719 I don't understand what is going on in that state 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.640 right now. But I plead with you, if you have 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:53.160 friends that live in Virginia, if you live in Virginia, 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:57.839 get out and fucking vote. Get them to vote. Get 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:01.200 at least ten people with you to go to the polls. 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:04.120 Offer to shuttle people back and forth, do whatever it 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:07.599 is that you can right now, because we are running 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:09.880 out of time and this is going to set the 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:12.720 tone for what midterms will look like. And I already 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:15.560 can tell you Democrats don't have a whole lot to 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:19.240 fucking offer. They really don't. And that's the problem is 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:22.760 that when you look over the last you know, ten months, 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:25.240 we're getting ready to look at it a year since 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:28.320 the election. When you look at that time, right and 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:30.960 you realize, well, how is my life different? What have 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.640 they done? They've done really nothing. And yes they can 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:38.000 now say that we pass this infrastructure bill, but what 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:40.800 will it do. Is it going to provide the American 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:42.920 people with the things that they need or the things 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:45.400 that Joe Mansion said that you should have, or that 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:48.760 is just good enough? Right? Because that's where we are. 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:51.440 We're at a time when we need robust change in 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:55.240 big thinkers and change makers right and warriors that are 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.520 on the field and recognize that we are at war. 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:00.280 We are at war with a political party that is 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.159 a group of insurrectionists that want to overthrow our government. 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:05.760 And they are doing it right. They are doing it 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:08.680 each and every day. Each and every day that Merritt 0:07:08.720 --> 0:07:11.760 Garland decides to sit on his fucking hands and do 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:17.160 absolutely nothing, he is telling them, next time, make it better, 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:20.440 make it bigger, and make it stick, because there is 0:07:20.560 --> 0:07:23.720 no responsibility, there is no accountability for any of the 0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:28.160 actions that have been taken. We know, we know that 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:31.280 their insurrection is sitting inside of Congress right now. We 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:34.520 know that there are people that gave gave these people 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.280 the blue prints to the Capitol. We know all of 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:40.360 those things. But none of those people are in jail. None. 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.200 And that should make every single one of us sick. 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:46.520 And I'm so fucking tired of being told, oh, well, 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:49.440 we got to follow the process. Republicans never follow the 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:52.680 fucking process. They barely ever follow the fucking law. And 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.800 we know that over the four years of Donald Trump, 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:56.920 they didn't follow the law at all. They thought the 0:07:56.960 --> 0:08:01.960 Constitution was a fucking suggestion, right, And so but here 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:05.880 we are with Democrats with all their hand ringing right 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:09.600 with all of their Oh history will remember you. How 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:11.960 when you're gutting the history books and you're not doing 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:15.400 dick about that? So what history books is going to 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:20.160 remember you? You'll be written out right, or you'll be banned. 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:24.400 We already have schools across this country curriculums that are 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.800 erasing the insurrection. Oh that's too divisive, so we don't 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:29.880 want to talk about it. Oh it was just a 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:32.440 group of tourists that got out of control, So we're 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:34.160 not going to talk about it, so we won't write 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:37.439 it up. So what history exactly is going to remember 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:43.360 these people? Nothing? None. You know. I was in La 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:45.720 at the end of last week, and I have to 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:47.880 tell you that I was sitting around with folks because, 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:50.800 as I mentioned to you all, I'm a member, a 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.559 board member of the miss Foundation for Women that is 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:59.120 specifically working on investing in organizations that are focused on 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:04.280 lifting up black and brown girls right and women. So 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:07.760 organizations that support this work doing a myriad of things. 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:10.120 And I'm sitting there and I'm talking to folks and 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.800 They're just like, Yo, this country is going to hell 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:16.720 in a fucking handbasket. But I live in California. So 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:20.040 for right now, for right now, I feel safe. But 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.280 I got to tell you that as I look out 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:24.720 at the rest of the country, I realize that we 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:28.880 are in deep, deep trouble. And that's the thing is 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:31.960 that I can say, right now, Okay, I'm sitting in 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:35.400 New York and I can feel safe ish, but for 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:40.160 how long? Because the next time that a Donald Trump 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:43.240 or a Trump like figure becomes president of the United States, 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.400 they are going to use every single bit of power 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:48.839 that they have to drain blue states, right, which is 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.480 funny because we subsidize red states. Let's just be clear. 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.400 They don't make any fucking money or produce a goddamn thing, 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:59.480 right except obesity and under education. Let me not. Let 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:03.720 me not. That was rude, Let me not. But I'm 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:07.800 just so angry these days. I'm just so angry and 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:12.280 frustrated at the fact that all we did was press pause. 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:15.120 All we did was press pause, and why the rest 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.959 of us are looking around and realizing that we are 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:25.360 in mortal danger, right, mortal danger. Right, Just imagine what 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:28.360 the slate of presidential candidates are going to look like 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:30.880 in twenty twenty four if we make it there, right, 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:39.120 Ron de Santis, Trump junkin right, Abbott, like, these are 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.320 the people that are going to be running to be 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:44.520 president of the United States. And frankly, although Joe Biden 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:49.760 is nice and he's comforting, right, when the people look 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:53.640 around and if he hasn't offered them anything, and then, frankly, 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:55.719 when we lose the House and the Senate, and then 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:58.640 you can't offer us anything. You can't offer us any 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.440 fucking judges that are going to combat the over three 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.520 hundred judges that are now across the country. And now 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.600 when Republicans get hold of the White House again and 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:10.000 get hold of Congress again, what do you think is 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:16.160 going to happen? Every single law, every single law that 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:21.360 you think is laid down in cement, isn't That's the 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.480 thing that I wish that Democrats would get on their 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:27.600 fucking bullhorn and be screaming about. But they're not right. 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:31.920 We are in danger. Brown versus the Board of Education 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:35.360 is in danger. Plus a versus Ferguson is in danger. 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:44.080 Marriage equality is in danger. Why because we refuse to 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.440 take the action to end the filibuster, to strengthen our 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:51.720 voting rights, to strengthen our courts, to strengthen anything about 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:55.439 our democracy and just hope you know that shaming Republicans 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:59.600 is going to do something You cannot shame the devil. 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.160 That is the thing that folks need to understand. And 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:06.520 so we're going into midterm elections folks on a hope 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:11.559 and a fucking prayer, right hoping that people still have 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:15.040 Trump residue because you know what, again, Joe Biden hasn't 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:19.640 been doing. He hasn't been taking every single administration member 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.640 from the Trump administration and bringing them out on a 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:25.560 perp walk for all of the fucking illegal and criminal 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:28.240 ast shit that they have done. Right, he is not 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.160 reminding the American people each and every day about the 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:34.800 insurrectionists and that we are holding these people accountable because 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:39.720 our country right needs to reflect strength not only internally 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:43.400 and know that people are held responsible, but externally right 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:46.440 to our allies so that they can see that while 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:51.600 democracy may falter, it will not fall in America. But 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:55.319 those are just slogans because we are taking absolutely no 0:12:55.440 --> 0:13:00.920 action to make sure that that is certain, folks. Today, 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:04.280 I'm very excited about the conversation that is coming up 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:08.400 next with Alex J. Packer, who is a psychologist and 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:13.000 wrote the book Slaying Digital Dragons about our kids obsession 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:16.360 and dare I say us as well, our obsession and 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:22.920 you know, addiction frankly to the digital world. Right as 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:28.080 Mark Zuckerberg is announcing metaverse, right and essentially turning our 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:33.320 real lives into sims. He has written a book that 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:37.680 is about how we need to decompress, that we need 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:41.640 to take breaks from social media. That it is not 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.920 only a danger to ourselves physically and emotionally, right with 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:50.280 the slouching over and the thumbs right, and the arthritis 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:52.160 and the eyes and all of the things that are 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:56.920 going wrong physically, but that our addiction to our devices 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:02.199 is also thwarting our democracy, right, our engagement, our ability 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:05.400 to have empathy for one another. I'll ask him a question, 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.400 and I will ask this to all of you. I 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.520 felt that with the advent of social media and the 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:15.080 ability to connect to people, that it would increase our 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:18.280 empathy because we could see, right, we would see these 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:22.560 videos we collectively watched George Floyd's murder, right, like, we 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:26.160 could see these things happening, and that that would invoke empathy. 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:30.560 Alex says, the absolute opposite is actually happening, And I 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.280 want to know what you think? What do you remember 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:38.040 your initial thoughts about social media and you know, connectivity 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:41.040 and building community in the digital space, what you thought 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:43.920 about it ten years ago and what you think about 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.560 it now. Do you force yourself to take breaks? Do 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:52.160 you have you know, device free days? Is that even possible? Right? 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.200 Is it possible to leave your home without your phone? 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:57.800 Or do you just shut off all of your apps 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.040 for the day. I want to know how you you 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:03.720 are putting yourself, if at all, on any type of 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:07.120 device diet, so that you can take a break, so 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.480 that you don't have a breakdown. So that conversation is 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:12.520 coming up next, and I'd love to hear from you, 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:16.680 folks again. I am so very excited about making this 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:20.280 journey with all of you into video and I know 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:24.080 that we will have much more exciting and engaging things 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:26.920 to produce for all of you patrons, and so I 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.040 just want it again. Want to say thank you, thank you, 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:33.280 thank you for being a part of this journey. Coming 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:43.120 up next is my conversation with Alex J. Packer. Folks, 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:46.200 I am very excited to welcome to Okay f for 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:50.200 the very first time psychologist Alex J. Packer, who is 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:54.560 the author of a new book, Slaying Digital Dragons, Tips 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:58.600 and Tools for protecting your body, brain, psyche and thumbs 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:02.880 from the Digital dark Side. Alex you talk about the 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:07.760 fact that a year in pandemic life or I guess 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:10.760 we are a year plus over in that time, that 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:14.360 the amount of time that kids and teens have spent 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:20.640 on their devices, whether it's iPads, iPhones, you know, computers 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.880 is has reached what you were saying as shocking levels. 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:29.080 I think it's shocking as well that eight ten and 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:33.960 even twelve hours or more a day is no longer 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:38.480 considered unusual. I mean that when we when I think 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:40.800 eight ten and twelve hours, I think about the amount 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:44.520 of sleep that young people should be getting. How is 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.400 it that they can manage to be on devices eight 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:53.440 ten and twelve hours a day. Many of them ten't manage. 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:57.920 And that's what motivated me to write the book. You know, 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:01.320 I want to say up front, their men, teens who 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:06.679 use these devices as a tool in their lives and 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:12.639 they exercise control over them. And the digital world is 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:17.719 a miracle, but it's also a monster. And I am 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:24.200 increasingly concerned about the impact on growing bodies and brains 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:30.800 and psyches and social beings of technology and particularly big tech, 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:35.800 and what it's doing to young people and the foundational 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:40.119 pillars of our society. So let's start out with the 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:42.679 fact that you know, I have many I don't have 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:46.000 kids myself, but I have many friends that do. And 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:50.480 I'm seeing children as young as one two years old 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:55.920 that are on screen time. Parents hand them over any 0:17:56.040 --> 0:18:00.359 number of devices as a way to pacify them. Right, 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:05.320 it has become the new pacifier. What makes that at 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:10.600 those young very young brain is readily developing. What makes 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:15.679 that particularly dangerous for the younger set, well, for the 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:21.360 younger kids, They are experiencing life through a tiny screen 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:26.480 and it doesn't have the same tactile or a motive 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:33.639 bonding elements that face to face interactions with their caregivers 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:40.000 with siblings would have. It's a very narrow experience. And 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:47.800 they're not out in sandboxes, they're not playing with physical toys. 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:51.800 Their eyes are glued to a screen. And you know, 0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:55.119 I think of this a bit like you know the 0:18:56.000 --> 0:19:00.040 story about the frogs. If you put them in a 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:04.480 plot of wall Yeah, yeah, they won't jump out when 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:09.040 it's turned up to boiling. And for kids today, they 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:15.960 are simply immersed in digital devices practically from birth and 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:20.840 there's no conscious decision about it. And by the time 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:28.200 they're eight, ten, twelve, eighteen, these devices have taken over 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:34.800 their lives. Is it that not only are they seeing 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:39.439 life through this tiny screen, but as a psychologist, is 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:45.280 it also really harming their ability to make connections? How 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:50.280 is this kind of amped up amount of screen time? 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:52.840 Because you know, on one hand, I'll say this, on 0:19:52.840 --> 0:19:58.840 one hand, I was so thankful during quarantine that my God, 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:02.160 that this was happening at this point in time and 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:07.480 not fifteen twenty years prior, right where we had FaceTime 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:12.840 and zoom and all of these other opportunities to connect 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:16.199 outside of physical touch. I thought that that in and 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:21.879 of itself may have actually saved people's lives who you know, depression, anxiety, 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:25.000 and that kind of isolation we know was causing and 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:28.359 triggering a lot of mental health crises. So in that, 0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:31.760 in that vein, I think, my goodness, to your point, 0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:37.000 what a miracle. Right on the other hand, for those 0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:42.240 that are not that we're not aged in a time 0:20:42.359 --> 0:20:46.320 where I had both both the sandbox right and then 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:50.280 the and then was a child in a teenager in 0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:52.960 the development of the Internet, so it was able to 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:56.320 really manage both of those things. As a psychologist, what 0:20:56.440 --> 0:21:00.800 are we seeing in terms of how difficult it is 0:21:00.920 --> 0:21:04.080 or what the differences are in being able to connect 0:21:04.400 --> 0:21:09.480 if a screen is your first mode of contact, Well, 0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:15.840 the main difference is that these devices are hijacking your being. 0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:21.280 You know, people often say to me, well, you know, teenagers, 0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:26.280 it's a time of passion and compulsive behavior. And how 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:29.920 are these devices? How is social media any different from 0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:35.040 comic books or rock and roll, or you know, spending 0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:41.879 hours tying up the family lambline, and the differences. Those 0:21:42.240 --> 0:21:47.120 were tools, Those were choices teams made. You choose to 0:21:47.119 --> 0:21:51.240 pick up a comic book, you choose to spend three 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:57.080 hours a day playing drums or shooting hoops. These devices 0:21:57.240 --> 0:22:02.159 now are controlling us. They're not our tools. We've become 0:22:02.240 --> 0:22:08.280 their tools. And the developers of social media platforms and 0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:12.639 many video games and shopping sites, they are using the 0:22:12.680 --> 0:22:19.800 most sophisticated tools and knowledge of human nature and neurochemistry 0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:26.440 and psychology to control us, manipulate us, influence our behavior, 0:22:26.640 --> 0:22:30.760 and even predict our behavior. You know, I think that 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:34.040 one of the most ask you one of the most 0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:38.920 alarming things that came out of the Facebook whistleblowers, right, 0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:43.679 the multiple reports and data that has been dumped, is 0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:47.040 how much they do know, how much they are aware 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:52.679 of how social media platforms are changing body brain chemistry, 0:22:53.080 --> 0:22:56.440 on how much they are aware of what will trigger 0:22:56.800 --> 0:22:59.560 you to want to continue to stay on the device 0:23:00.080 --> 0:23:02.399 versus to put it down, and the desires to have 0:23:02.520 --> 0:23:05.800 you on there for as long as possible, because, as 0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:09.119 you know, was brilliantly said, when the platform is free, 0:23:09.560 --> 0:23:13.280 you're the product. So if you're the product, then you 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:15.920 need to be consuming as much as possible. The more 0:23:15.960 --> 0:23:19.160 time that you're on, the more I can advertise to you, right, 0:23:19.320 --> 0:23:23.520 the more you will spend. What was the most shocking 0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:27.880 thing that you learned or heard, you know, during as 0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:32.400 we're unpacking the information out of Facebook and Instagram as 0:23:32.440 --> 0:23:40.080 it pertains to young people, I was not shocked at all. Yeah, 0:23:40.400 --> 0:23:46.520 as a psychologist, as someone who's worked with teams, I 0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:50.399 believe that that was all happening. And you know the 0:23:50.560 --> 0:23:54.280 power of what happened with the whistleblower is now we 0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:58.440 have the documents and the proof, and it's much harder 0:23:58.480 --> 0:24:08.040 to deny the destructive effect that these platforms and devices 0:24:08.160 --> 0:24:13.680 can have on individual teenagers and on society. So it 0:24:13.760 --> 0:24:18.240 wasn't a surprise to me. And that was so much 0:24:18.440 --> 0:24:23.280 the motivation for this book, because I don't think teens 0:24:23.520 --> 0:24:28.920 realize the extent to which they are being tracked and manipulated. 0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:31.800 You know, we all have a sense of, well, you 0:24:31.840 --> 0:24:35.359 don't have that much privacy, and they're kind of putting 0:24:35.400 --> 0:24:40.960 cookies on your device. But no, it's so much deeper 0:24:41.000 --> 0:24:47.000 than that. And I wanted to empower kids to fight back. 0:24:47.040 --> 0:24:51.960 I mean, teams don't like to be manipulated, and I 0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:57.360 think that teens are ripe for this type of information. 0:24:57.880 --> 0:25:01.800 I mean, between forty and fifty percent of all teams 0:25:02.480 --> 0:25:07.919 say they feel addicted to their phones. And and what 0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:10.359 does that addiction mean when when they say, when you 0:25:10.359 --> 0:25:14.359 say it, what do we mean when we're when we 0:25:14.480 --> 0:25:18.600 use the word addiction in that context that they can't 0:25:18.720 --> 0:25:23.240 control their use? Okay, you know that they are aware 0:25:23.320 --> 0:25:28.880 of negative or harmful consequences, but they're not able to 0:25:28.920 --> 0:25:34.760 turn that awareness into a behavioral change. And ninety percent 0:25:34.920 --> 0:25:39.919 of all teams say that too much screen time is 0:25:39.960 --> 0:25:45.000 a problem for their peers. And you know, again, four 0:25:45.000 --> 0:25:48.639 out of ten. Teams want to be able to unplug 0:25:48.960 --> 0:25:52.240 from time to time from their phones, So I think 0:25:52.280 --> 0:25:57.080 there is a receptivity there and I want to awaken 0:25:57.760 --> 0:26:02.280 their mindfulness so they under stand their screen scene. What 0:26:02.600 --> 0:26:06.639 is great about it and helpful to their growth and 0:26:06.880 --> 0:26:11.280