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Speaker 1: Am id a hole for being mad at my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: for not taking these noodies the way I like. Or

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Speaker 1: is it noodles noodles? Oh, it's noodles, these noodles. You're

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Speaker 1: not making noodles the way I like. Sure, it's noodle,

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Speaker 1: it's it's noodles. It's literally noodles. I thought it was

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Speaker 1: like a code for nuds. No noodles, noodles okay, and

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Speaker 1: my house whole for being my being mad at my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend for not making the right noodles. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was like, Oh, dude, like this this this angle ain't good. No,

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Speaker 1: it's like the consistency of these noodles is not great.

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Speaker 2: I want to see your face.

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Speaker 1: This sounds dumb, but hear me out. I've always been

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Speaker 1: a picky eater, especially when it comes to tomatoes. That

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Speaker 1: is very specific. Ever since I was a kid, my

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Speaker 1: dad would make my spaghetti different from the rest of

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Speaker 1: the house. I like having an essence of the sauce

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Speaker 1: flavor on the noodles, but not the overpowering flavor of

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Speaker 1: having noodles bathed in sauce. So here's where it gets

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Speaker 1: a bit odd. My dad would separate my spaghetti from

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Speaker 1: the families after putting the sauce on, and then would

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Speaker 1: rinse the sauce off with the sink strainer. I love

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Speaker 1: noodles like this. Ased is nice subtle tomato vibe given

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Speaker 1: to the mild spaghetti. Wow. My twenty boyfriend twenty six

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Speaker 1: has known about this since we started first dating. He

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Speaker 1: always told me my food habits were cute. We've been

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Speaker 1: dating for almost three years now and moved in together

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Speaker 1: at the beginning of the pandemic so we could be

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Speaker 1: in lockdown together. Ever since we moved in together, he

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Speaker 1: insisted on taking charge of cooking and all cooking related

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Speaker 1: tasks dishes, grocery shopping, et cetera. And he assigned me

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Speaker 1: the role of cleaning the bulk of the apartment. We

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Speaker 1: split the other task pretty much fifty fifty. Everything was perfect,

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Speaker 1: and he always seemed to be making noodles the way

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Speaker 1: I liked them when we had them. This was until

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Speaker 1: last week when we had spaghetti. We everything and it

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Speaker 1: was good. But afterwards he started teasing me, saying things like,

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Speaker 1: really like your pasta with an essence of tomato? And

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Speaker 1: how was your tomato essence, babe, always using finger quotes

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Speaker 1: around the word essence. After a few comments, I felt

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Speaker 1: something was off and asked him if he had done

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Speaker 1: anything differently with tonight's noodles than he usually does, and

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Speaker 1: he started laughing. When he finally stopped laughing, he told

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Speaker 1: me the whole truth. While smirking, he said, I didn't

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Speaker 1: do anything different than I usually do. I have never

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Speaker 1: been making it the way you request it. But if

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Speaker 1: you don't know, break up, Let I go. He lied

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Speaker 1: to you, that lying bitch. He deserves to be broken

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Speaker 1: up with.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like it's like, yeah, if you didn't know, then

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Speaker 3: what's a big deal, Like if you.

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Speaker 2: Still if you still liked it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not like you're like the essence is too essency.

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Speaker 1: I want less essence of tomato. Yeah, too much tomato?

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Speaker 1: Water down, Sarah, this is a good thing. Yeah, like it.

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Speaker 1: It seems like you have regular spaghetti tastes. Yeah, apparently

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Speaker 1: the entire time we've been living together, he's just been

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Speaker 1: skipping the pasta sauce on the noodles, entirely putting anything on.

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Speaker 1: He claimed that if if I didn't notice for this long,

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Speaker 1: then it shouldn't matter that he is making dinner in

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Speaker 1: a way that's easier for him. I disagree entirely. I

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Speaker 1: think the lying was a huge, huge breach of trust,

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Speaker 1: and so was the refusal to make dinner how I wanted.

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Speaker 1: I've admittedly act been acting passive aggressively to him since,

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Speaker 1: but he thinks he did nothing wrong, that I'm overreacting,

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Speaker 1: and that I need to let it go. Am I

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Speaker 1: the asshole? I want to know what all of y'all think.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, if he's if you don't notice, I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's a big deal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's not a big deal at all.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's a breach of trust.

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Speaker 1: It's just like if you were like a large to

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Speaker 1: peanuts and you put peanuts in there, that would be

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Speaker 1: a breach of tough trust.

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Speaker 3: It's like you're making a sandwich for someone and you're like, hey, like,

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Speaker 3: don't add mustard, and there's mustard in it, and then

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Speaker 3: you like mustard.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah it should. Like my dad has this thing

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Speaker 1: where he wants people to put the espresso or no,

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Speaker 1: he wants people to put the water hot water, and

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Speaker 1: then the espresso, And like he went to a coffee

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Speaker 1: shop the other day and he's like, hey, can you

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Speaker 1: put like hot water? And the espresso, and they're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we like, you know, just put it in together. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't really matter. And he's like it matters to me.

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Speaker 1: I like, was it like he wants it. He wants

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Speaker 1: the otter than the espresso, so I feel, But I

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Speaker 1: don't know if he can actually taste the difference, like

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Speaker 1: some of these like things just like weirdly matter to people.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it if you can't tell that it's different,

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Speaker 1: then it doesn't matter. I think that's my that's the rule.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what do you guys think, but your

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Speaker 1: answer to the comments. But there is an edit. So

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend found the post and is not happy. I'm

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Speaker 1: debating pouring the sauce directly down the drain.

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Speaker 4: To spite him.

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Speaker 1: That's a dick move. So a lot has happened since

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Speaker 1: this morning. Y'all may be happy to hear. We broke up,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, over sauce. We had a huge blow

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Speaker 1: up fight since he found the post, which led to

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Speaker 1: me breaking up with him. Wait, she broke up with him.

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Speaker 1: He did not like being called a predator what and

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Speaker 1: I certainly think y'all had a point. Wait, the comments

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Speaker 1: are saying he's a predator what so I ended up

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Speaker 1: breaking up with him. He attempted to plead with me

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Speaker 1: for a bit, but my parents pay our rent, so

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Speaker 1: he can't afford the place without me, but I wouldn't budge.

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Speaker 1: So now he's now Oh my god. Now some things

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Speaker 1: I found out in the argument. First, he is not

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Speaker 1: a pharmacist like he's always told me. He just works

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Speaker 1: at CBS. Second, he actually has cheated on me multiple

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Speaker 1: times with other girls that go to my college. And lastly,

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Speaker 1: worst of all, he has never actually been allergic to

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Speaker 1: dogs and just doesn't like him. Okay, I guess he's

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Speaker 1: a dick, but damn, this is.

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Speaker 2: The wildest way of hiring all of that out.

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Speaker 1: Dude, and the like over sauce.

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Speaker 2: You're still some noodles, all right.

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Speaker 1: Don't come with me? All right, you guys better not

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Speaker 1: come at me in the comments and be like, Sam,

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Speaker 1: you're such a dick for not believing or not like

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Speaker 1: but like you're thinking, the saws is important because, like

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Speaker 1: you should have known all along, this guy was a massive,

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Speaker 1: lying dirt bag. Don't you know the end of the story.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know the end of the story. Don't come

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Speaker 1: with me, and that shit. I guess, yes, yes, she

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Speaker 1: should break up with it because of all the other

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Speaker 1: stuff that's bad, not because of the sauce. You can

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Speaker 1: already hear the comments coming in, and damn you were judgmental, asshole.

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Speaker 1: I like John better. I miss John. I do miss John? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do miss John.

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Speaker 2: Did joke on you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah with MP John? Rip John in the comments if

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Speaker 1: you miss him and write his right. The first line

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Speaker 1: of his eulogy, m John was my favorite lover and friend.

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Speaker 2: Damn I was gonna say that.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, all right, well, I guess deservedly broke up

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Speaker 1: with and I'm glad the sauce be all the holes

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Speaker 1: in your relationship. And it seems like you strained away

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Speaker 1: everything that was bad in your life, which was your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know is a sauce thing that porton?

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Speaker 1: Let me know in the comments. Am I the asshole

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Speaker 1: for making my girlfriend leave the country? I mean, did

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Speaker 1: it I gain? Possibly if if you you know, called

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Speaker 1: like ice on her or something, and.

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Speaker 3: Or like like maybe you live in Germany, sheows some friends,

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Speaker 3: so holidays.

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Speaker 1: Oh maybe, So you're saying maybe it's just a little vacation. Yay,

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Speaker 1: you're leaving the country. You're welcome. I made my girlfriend

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Speaker 1: go to Europe.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you've worked too hard, get out of here.

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Speaker 1: You that's cute. Okay. So I twenty eight male, have

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Speaker 1: been dating my girlfriend twenty seven female for five years Judge,

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Speaker 1: where she was an international student. She started working after

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Speaker 1: graduating while I am currently doing a master's some smart

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Speaker 1: cookies over here. Her company was sponsoring her visa until

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Speaker 1: they got bought out and she got laid off. She

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Speaker 1: was given a limited time to find a new employer

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Speaker 1: to sponsor her a new visa, and it really stressed

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Speaker 1: her out. I've had some friends do that, and it's

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Speaker 1: like a massive stressor because like you get kick out

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Speaker 1: of the US if you don't have a job. She

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Speaker 1: was applying to jobs every day and did a lot

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Speaker 1: of interviews, but unfortunately wasn't able to get an offer.

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Speaker 1: She really wanted to stay since she loves the place

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Speaker 1: and I would still be here in the country right

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Speaker 1: She wants to be with Boo. While I was out

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Speaker 1: with a buddy, he suggested that I sponsor her visa.

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Speaker 1: We have been in a relationship for quite some time.

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Speaker 1: I love her and I didn't want to see her

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Speaker 1: so stressed out, so I told her about the idea.

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Speaker 1: She was hesitant at first. She said she didn't want

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Speaker 1: me to think that she was with me, so I

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Speaker 1: could be her way to a permanent residence slash citizenship

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Speaker 1: in the country. I wanted her to stay, and I

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Speaker 1: wanted to do it. Nice guy, nice guy, and nothing

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Speaker 1: will go wrong, nothing at all nothing. It's on Reddit

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Speaker 1: done Reddit, which means happy endings. Also put I see

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Speaker 1: you in the comments if you see something amiss in

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Speaker 1: the future, A little little uh, little darkness in the path.

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Speaker 1: So we consulted an immigration consultant and decided to do

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Speaker 1: the paperwork on her own. She was the one who

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Speaker 1: mostly looked into the stuff we needed to prepare. She

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Speaker 1: still applied for jobs, but not as urgently as she

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Speaker 1: used to. It took a while since we never really

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Speaker 1: had anything joint. We lived together and just split the

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Speaker 1: bills on her own. She had enough saved up to

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Speaker 1: be okay for a while, so they had like separate finances.

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Speaker 1: But they're there. They're tieing the the not I guess.

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Speaker 1: So in the sponsorship, are they getting married or are

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Speaker 1: they just like he's just a sponsor because they're in

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Speaker 1: a relationship I think that, Yeah, that's what it seems

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Speaker 1: like to I had to fill out some paperwork to

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Speaker 1: be your sponsor, and I felt uneasy about it. I

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Speaker 1: did want her to stay, but it felt like it

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Speaker 1: was too much. Eventually she was done with her part

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Speaker 1: and all that was left was mine. I finally told

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Speaker 1: her that I didn't want to go through with it.

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Speaker 2: Dude, this was his idea.

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Speaker 1: That's really bad because she's like, Oh, I don't need

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Speaker 1: to worry about jobs as much because baboo got me. Dude,

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Speaker 1: that's like and also, what makes you uncomfortable about it? Like,

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Speaker 1: that's what I want to know, Like, why are you uncomfortable?

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Speaker 2: Like maybe she's not wifey.

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Speaker 1: Maybe she's not wifey. I think that's an indicator that

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Speaker 1: maybe he's like not super into it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you.

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Speaker 3: Don't don't promise somebody something and then like, oh, never mind, gotcha?

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Speaker 1: I mean, especially when their livelihood and their ability to

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Speaker 1: stay in the country depends on you. Yeah. She was

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Speaker 1: very upset and asked why, which is what I would

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Speaker 1: ask to what I asked that right now. I told

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Speaker 1: her that I suggested the idea because I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to see her stress out all the time. And then

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Speaker 1: I eventually realized that I shouldn't have to be responsible

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Speaker 1: for her. We had a long talk where I told

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Speaker 1: her that I still want to be in a relationship

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Speaker 1: with her. Oh, buddy, I don't know. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if that it's gonna survive this, but I just don't

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Speaker 1: want to be forced to be responsible for her. She

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Speaker 1: said she felt very hurt by what I said. Things

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Speaker 1: change and she didn't really talk to me after. She

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Speaker 1: kept applying for jobs and attending interviews, but eventually her

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Speaker 1: visa expired. Before she left, I told her I love

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Speaker 1: her and that I would really want her to come back. Really,

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Speaker 1: how much do you want her to come back, because

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Speaker 1: there is a way that you could keep her there. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you don't really want her back?

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Speaker 2: No, No, he wants her to come back, not stay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a come visit, come visit. I won't

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Speaker 1: pay for anything.

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Speaker 2: You can come visit.

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Speaker 1: You can come visit. However, she I'm actually opening up

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Speaker 1: my house as an airbnb so you can pay me

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Speaker 1: to stay with me. However, she told me that she

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Speaker 1: sees me differently after the things I told her. Yeah, dauw,

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Speaker 1: it's been a few weeks since she left. I missed

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Speaker 1: her cooking, her presence and being able to spend time

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Speaker 1: with her. I missed when she just made me all

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Speaker 1: my food. Dude, you could have had it all fill

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Speaker 1: out the paperwork. I still want a future with her. However,

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Speaker 1: our close friends have been telling me that I was

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Speaker 1: an asshole. I disagree and think they're biased. So here

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Speaker 1: I am asking reddit, am I the asshole? And there

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Speaker 1: is an edit? But right now he is the asshole

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Speaker 1: for trying to be the angel. That's what the thing is.

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Speaker 1: Because he was trying to like save the day and

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Speaker 1: help her with her visa. And if he had like,

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Speaker 1: it is perfectly fine to not offer that, right, he

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Speaker 1: didn't have to offer that bye. But by offering that,

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Speaker 1: she now wasn't pursuing the work opportunities as much and

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Speaker 1: now like and then by rescinding it, he's just jeopardized

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Speaker 1: her ability to stay in the country. So like, he's

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Speaker 1: the asshole because he wouldn't be the asshole if he

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Speaker 1: never even brought it up mentioned yeah and said or

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Speaker 1: just said, oh no, I don't feel comfortable with that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And because she would have like pursued looking for

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Speaker 2: other jobs.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, But he is the asshole now because he

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Speaker 1: totally fucked her over.

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Speaker 2: Dude.

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Speaker 3: I love the part where he was like, I hated

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Speaker 3: seeing her stressed out all the time, so I mentioned

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Speaker 3: this so she wouldn't be stressed out all the time,

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Speaker 3: and then he realized, oh, I don't want to do

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Speaker 3: this next.

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Speaker 1: Well, and also, it's like she's stressed out all the

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Speaker 1: time because this is like the biggest thing in her

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Speaker 1: life and you just completely screwed her. All right, So

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Speaker 1: here's the edit. I've read through a lot of comments

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Speaker 1: and everyone seems to think I'm the a hole here.

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Speaker 1: So I was asking what my responsibilities would be. I

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Speaker 1: would have to be financially responsible for her for three years.

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Speaker 1: If she gets any government assistance or social welfare, I

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Speaker 1: would have to pay it back. I also can't sponsor

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Speaker 1: anyone else until the three years have passed. Also, I

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Speaker 1: listed what I missed about her in no particular order.

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Speaker 1: I listed that I miss her cooking first. But it

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean I don't miss her. To me, people who

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Speaker 1: said I'm probably an immigrant too, what does that have

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Speaker 1: to do with anything. My parents moved to where we

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Speaker 1: are are now, so here I am. I still stand

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Speaker 1: by what I said. No one I know has to

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Speaker 1: do anything like this. It just doesn't feel normal. I

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Speaker 1: would want to eventually have a home with her, but

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Speaker 1: I don't think anyone should have to be responsible for

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Speaker 1: another person's decisions or their circumstances. It's just gaslighting if

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Speaker 1: you convince someone that they should be man gaslighting. I

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Speaker 1: don't like the gaslightings thrown about willy nilly these days.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if anyone will see this at it.

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Speaker 1: Since it's been a few days, I have updates, so

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Speaker 1: I'll probably do a separate post about it when I

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Speaker 1: have time. The thing is, if you really wanted to

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Speaker 1: be in the relationship, you would help her stay in

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Speaker 1: the country, like if it was wifey, but she's maybybe.

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Speaker 1: You just don't believe that she's wifey.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, doesn't seem like she's wifey, you buddy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but do you think you think he's the asshole? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Oh, he should just research before you like brought it up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, dude, how is he figuring out that this

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Speaker 1: is what you need to do? Like months later? It's yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's dumbing. It's like it's like it's like someone who's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: can you turn in my homework? To the professor and

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Speaker 1: the guy's like, yeah, I can turn your homework, professor,

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Speaker 1: And then the dude just doesn't turn it in. He's

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Speaker 1: the asshole for not turning it in because he he

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Speaker 1: said he was going to turn it in. And now

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Speaker 1: you're you're your you know your your paper is late,

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Speaker 1: and you get an F.

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Speaker 2: You don't pass the class.

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Speaker 1: You don't pass the class, you get kicked out of school,

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Speaker 1: get sent to your home country. Oh feel bad for op. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I have a friend in San Francisco that I lived with,

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Speaker 1: I used to live with, and he's from India and

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Speaker 1: like he has to I think it's like an H

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Speaker 1: one or H three visa HB three something, HB three

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Speaker 1: something like that, and he has to have a job.

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Speaker 1: And if he gets like let go or fire, like

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Speaker 1: he doesn't get a new job in time, he gets

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Speaker 1: booted from the country and his whole life is here.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's rough. That is very rough.

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Speaker 1: But now I want to rough you guys up and

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Speaker 1: telling you this next story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah me up.

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Speaker 1: Am I the asshole for bringing up my brother's premature

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Speaker 1: birth out of family dinner at Christmas to shut my

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Speaker 1: parents up?

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Speaker 2: If that's what it takes, go at it, go all

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Speaker 2: after it.

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Speaker 1: I wonder what the insult was or the like, because

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Speaker 1: I like, your brain is undeveloped.

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Speaker 3: Well, sometimes people that are premature, their ears aren't fully developed.

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Speaker 3: I had a friend, like I saw his ears one

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Speaker 3: day and it was like halfway fully developed, and I

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Speaker 3: was like, were you premature. He's like, yeah, it was

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Speaker 3: like four months premature or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Four months yeah, yeah, he was any any bitty baby

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Speaker 1: four months is crazy.

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Speaker 3: But they probably made She probably made fun of his

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Speaker 3: ears or something like that, like, oh you don't you

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Speaker 3: don't have fully developed ears.

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Speaker 2: You can't hear me. She probably yelled at him.

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Speaker 1: Ah, all right, well let's see, let's see what it was. So.

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Speaker 1: I am a nurse practitioner and I am the primary

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Speaker 1: care provider for a lot of the low risk maternity

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Speaker 1: cases at the practice where I work. I also work

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Speaker 1: hand in hand with the doctors and midwives to create

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Speaker 1: a healthy maternity, birth, and postpartum situation. My fiance is

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Speaker 1: completing her residency. We live together and have for a

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Speaker 1: few years now. We aren't in any hurry to get married.

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Speaker 1: We originally had plans to do so a couple of

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Speaker 1: years ago. But then we got really busy for two years.

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Speaker 1: It is driving my very religious parents crazy that their

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Speaker 1: youngest son is living in sin. Yeah, festering and sin.

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Speaker 1: I don't really care. I'm an adult and I do

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Speaker 1: what I want. We are getting married in June, so

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Speaker 1: it's like, I mean, they're getting married, but they're like

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Speaker 1: they're living together, they're sinful babies. So we are visiting

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Speaker 1: my parents for Christmas. The way it came together this year,

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Speaker 1: everyone is at my parents' house. So that's my folks,

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Speaker 1: my three siblings, myself, and my fiance, and seven grandchildren,

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Speaker 1: so seventeen people total. At dinner, my mom starts going

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Speaker 1: on about how she is so glad that we are

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Speaker 1: finally getting married and she won't be embarrassed at church anymore.

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Speaker 1: Wait right, really quick, if this kind of thing happened,

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Speaker 1: like would like a like a parent or something. Not

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Speaker 1: maybe not your parents, but someone else's Like is that truly?

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Speaker 1: People would be embarrassed if like you're living together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if I was living another I was living together

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Speaker 3: with a girl. We're not married, my parents would be

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Speaker 3: kind of like.

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Speaker 1: This, even if it's a fiance.

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Speaker 3: Yeah really, yeah, they don't they don't want any of

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Speaker 3: that because like no sex before marriage, So like, if

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Speaker 3: you're living together, you're doing it, but if you're not

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Speaker 3: living together, you're definitely not doing it.

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Speaker 5: In their eves, what if you have several beds like

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Speaker 5: in the fifties of the shows, Yeah, you could probably

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Speaker 5: convince them be like, hey, there's no way she could

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Speaker 5: be on this bed with me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's too small, it's way too small.

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Speaker 4: It's when no one yeah, no.

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Speaker 1: One has ever had sex in a twin bed before.

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Speaker 2: It's great.

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Speaker 1: It's for one person, one person. And my dad says

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Speaker 1: how proud he is of his three older kids, who

386
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Speaker 1: will all either waited to get married before moving in

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Speaker 1: together or got married right away after moving in together.

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Speaker 1: My fiance was getting embarrassed, and I was getting mad

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Speaker 1: over this stupid argument. We've had too many times, and

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00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,719
Speaker 1: a family dinner was the last straw. I've asked them

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Speaker 1: repeatedly to just accept that they cannot control how I

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Speaker 1: live my life. I refuse to stay with them when

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Speaker 1: I visit, even if I come alone. Hotels are just

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Speaker 1: easier because I guess they're not judging him as much.

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Speaker 1: So I started talking about a premature baby I had

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Speaker 1: been reading about it was almost three months premature and

397
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:09,119
Speaker 1: weighed about one point six pounds. If your friend was

398
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,760
Speaker 1: four months premature and it was probably like a pound baby. Yeah,

399
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,360
Speaker 1: Riley was eight pounds. His brothers were ten pounds one

400
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,359
Speaker 1: point six pounds. It was super strong and healthy for

401
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:24,360
Speaker 1: being born so little, and the NICU had high hopes

402
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Speaker 1: for the baby doing well. My mom and dad both

403
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 1: got deer in the headlights looks on their faces. Too bad.

404
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 1: Should have not left around about my fiance's feelings. So

405
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,399
Speaker 1: I asked about my oldest brother. He was born about

406
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Speaker 1: almost four months premature. Is there a chance that we

407
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,959
Speaker 1: could check out the family album where we keep all

408
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 1: the records of family births and stuff. I already know

409
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 1: my brother was over nine pounds, and I already know

410
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 1: my brother was over nine pounds and twenty three inches

411
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,920
Speaker 1: long when he was born, which is huge. My grandmother

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00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 1: told me all about it the first time. My parents

413
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:03,040
Speaker 1: tried to shame me. The baby was not four months

414
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 1: premature because they got pregnant four months before they got married.

415
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:11,680
Speaker 1: Oohh shit. The subject gets changed very fast. After supper,

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Speaker 1: my parents told me that I should not try to

417
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Speaker 1: embarrass them with private things that are not my concern.

418
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,879
Speaker 1: I told them if I ever heard anything about my

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00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 1: living arrangements ever again, for the rest of my life,

420
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 1: I would make sure to keep bringing up the fact

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00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,920
Speaker 1: that my mom was in her second trimester when they

422
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: got married. My parents are mad at me for telling

423
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,560
Speaker 1: them how to behave in their own house, but my

424
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,439
Speaker 1: fiance is happy that they seemed to be off the

425
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: subject for good. So am I the asshole?

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Speaker 2: What do you think?

427
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: I mean? I think they kind of they started it

428
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 1: by critics, like critiquing his life and also or Op's life.

429
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:50,880
Speaker 1: And also it's not like he said man or a woman.

430
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Speaker 3: I think I think man, because he says his fiance

431
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,640
Speaker 3: is a female and he doesn't mentioned like that he's good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I mean I think they were judging his

433
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,359
Speaker 1: life first, right, like they were like, don't live together,

434
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,400
Speaker 1: Like they're being hypocrites. They're being hypocrites. And he didn't

435
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 1: even say like, oh, I know you had sex before marriage.

436
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 1: He was just alluding to the fact that they did

437
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,919
Speaker 1: without being like outright saying it just almost has like

438
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: a little bit of a warning like, hey, you're being

439
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 1: a hypocrite. How far do you want me to keep

440
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 1: going with this. So I don't think, I don't think

441
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 1: the asshole, but it is. I mean, if he's told

442
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 1: them multiple times to be like, hey, I don't want

443
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 1: you talking about this, what else is there to do?

444
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,160
Speaker 1: This seems like he had to go to this point.

445
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:37,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point.

446
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,119
Speaker 3: It is very sensitive information in a religious family to

447
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 3: bring that up because it's very frowned upon. What you

448
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 3: mean with the parents, Yeah, like the parents and stuff.

449
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like.

450
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, why do you want to put

451
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 1: your son down all the time. Yeah, I don't think

452
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 1: that's a good vibe.

453
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,400
Speaker 2: It's not, especially if that's what you did.

454
00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. The hypocrisy is insane. But I would love

455
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 1: to know what you guys think. Put your answers below.

456
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 1: Do you think Opia is the asshole for pointing out

457
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 1: that his parents were getting frisky before marriage? And I

458
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 1: think with that that's the end. Yeah, that's a that's

459
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 1: a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this extra juicy episode.

460
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 1: And if you miss John, please say rest in peace. John.

461
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: Our prayers go to you.

462
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,120
Speaker 5: Please come back, please, I miss you.

463
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 1: And I miss you. All right, we'll see soon. This

464
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,399
Speaker 1: is an episode from Deep Within the Archives.

465
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:39,919
Speaker 6: Time for okop relam.

466
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 1: My son's ex claim that she's pregnant with his baby,

467
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 1: So I demanded a paternity test? Am I the a hole?

468
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 4: I don't know.

469
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 6: It kind of depends, you know, if if you're like

470
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 6: if the you know, the son and the gulf are.

471
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 2: Like, hey, we're pregnant, He's like, no paternity test.

472
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 1: I honestly think like, if my kid gets pregnant early,

473
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,639
Speaker 1: I'm like paternity testing anyone, Yeah, test immediately, you know.

474
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,360
Speaker 4: But if they are like like thirty, it's like, hey, dad.

475
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: We're pregnant, it's like does my son eighteen has found

476
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,160
Speaker 1: out that one of his ex girlfriends is eight months pregnant.

477
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 1: Oh he knew nothing. Oh eight months that's that's she's pregnant.

478
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,239
Speaker 1: She's all the way pregnant. Wow, he knew nothing of

479
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 1: her being pregnant until now, and now he's just expected

480
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 1: to accept everything, no questions asked. Yikes. My daughter is

481
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 1: good friends with this girl and knew about her pregnancy

482
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,199
Speaker 1: but said nothing to us because her friend asked her

483
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: not to.

484
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 4: Thanks. Dude, begs a lot.

485
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 1: My son was head over heels for this lady, but

486
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 1: she ended up breaking his heart by cheating on him,

487
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 1: and was very needy and manipulative. He spent a lot

488
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 1: of money on her because she would ask him for

489
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 1: gifts and my son couldn't even afford those gifts, and

490
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,359
Speaker 1: she convinced him to use one of my credit cards

491
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 1: to achieve it. This girl sucks, bro, he's simp and

492
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 1: he's my dad's credit card. My daughter isn't currently living

493
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 1: with us, and she's actually rooming with her my son's ex,

494
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 1: by her college. And she's also being manipulated by the

495
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 1: ex because she just thinks that this ax only does

496
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 1: good and doesn't believe that she convinced her brother to

497
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,199
Speaker 1: use my credit card or even that she cheated.

498
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 4: Wow.

499
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: So basically all of the evidence, the credit card, the cheating,

500
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 1: The sister doesn't believe anything.

501
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: No, she's she's so great, she's superior.

502
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 1: It isn't. His sister showed up with my son's ex

503
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 1: girlfriend at my door to help her tell us that

504
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: she's pregnant. When I saw there at my door visibly pregnant,

505
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: I knew she was going to be saying that my

506
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 1: son is a father of her child. But I immediately

507
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: said that my son will not be putting any money

508
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: or time until there's a paternity task proving that this

509
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 1: is indeed his child. My son backed me up and agreed.

510
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 4: Okay, that's that's smart.

511
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 6: It's like, hey, if it is cool, but if not,

512
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 6: then wouty.

513
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 1: But my daughter, my son's sister was horrified by the

514
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,919
Speaker 1: comment and accused me of encouraging him to be a

515
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: deadbeat father and was upset. I didn't even give them

516
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 1: a chance to explain themselves. My son's ex started crying, saying,

517
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: you always assume the worst of me, and she experienced

518
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 1: eight months of pregnancy alone, and the least we could

519
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 1: do is ensure she is taken care of for the

520
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: betterment of this child. I do agree that if this

521
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: is his child, we're going to ensure the mom is

522
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 1: doing well and ensure the baby is doing well. But

523
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 1: I don't want my son to be involved with her

524
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 1: only to get his heart broken again and only to

525
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 1: find that the child isn't his. Oh that would be bad.

526
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 1: Am I the a hole here? I don't know is

527
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: OP the a hole?

528
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 6: I think OP has a right to be suspicious about

529
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 6: what's going on.

530
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I mean any any young relationship I

531
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: think like it's fine to get a maternity test. Yeah,

532
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 1: you should always get it.

533
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 6: They're so young, it's like, yeah's just and also like

534
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 6: if it's true, then what does it hurt exactly? And

535
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 6: I feel like it's one thing if OPI's son said,

536
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 6: like if you're in, if you the one that potentially

537
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 6: is the father or whatever, that's like it just comes

538
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 6: off more abrasive. But like if it's a dad, it's like,

539
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 6: you know, they're just trying to I don't.

540
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,120
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, trying to sus it out. I mean, Also,

541
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: it's like an eighteen year commitment of like finances, and.

542
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, you can't just be like okay, I'm just gonna

543
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 6: blindly go with and you know do this, like yeah,

544
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 6: give me something.

545
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: But there is an update. My daughter and I spoke

546
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: on the phone, and I explained to her that if

547
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 1: the baby really is his, and then the test will

548
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: only lock in his responsibility for the baby, and there's

549
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 1: no way I'd ever encourage my son to abandon any

550
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 1: of my grandbabies. My daughter finally agreed that the test

551
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: would be beneficial and told me she'd call me back later.

552
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: I ended up getting a text back instead of a call.

553
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 1: Asking if they could come back over to talk, which

554
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: I agreed. When they came over, my son's ex admitted

555
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,919
Speaker 1: to not actually knowing who the father was and that

556
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 1: she had been in a relationship with multiple guys, which

557
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,919
Speaker 1: is why she took so long telling my son because

558
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 1: she was trying to figure out who is the father

559
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 1: of her child. But she's now certain it's my son.

560
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 1: She agreed to do a paternity test as soon as

561
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 1: we are able to do one, on the condition I

562
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: pay for it. One other thing I found is that

563
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 1: my daughter and my son's ex have actually developed a

564
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: romantic relationship, which is beyond shocking to me. I mean,

565
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: explains why she's been sticking up for my son's ex

566
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 1: as much as she's been doing. But it's just not

567
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 1: something I thought my daughter would ever do. I mean,

568
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 1: that's her brother's ex, someone who broke his heart. It's

569
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 1: not just something I can understand. Always love my daughter,

570
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 1: but it just hurts me seeing my son feeling hurt

571
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 1: by the whole situation.

572
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 4: Bruh, I mean, the plot twist of the plot.

573
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 6: It's like my own sister is seeing the girl who,

574
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 6: like you know, who I loved.

575
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: Oh dude, that dagger in the heart. The sister kind

576
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 1: of sucks, dude, Yeah yeah, yikes, yikes, but definitely get

577
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 1: a paternity test. This is a mess already.

578
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 6: Don't fall in love when you're young, especially if you

579
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 6: have a sister who can steal young girl.

580
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:00,119
Speaker 3: H