1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,680 Speaker 1: So before you get into today's Dear Bonya, we just 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: wanted to let you know that we pre recorded this 3 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: last week before the fires in La broke out. It 4 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: was originally going to air last week, but we decided 5 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: to hold off as everyone was dealing with the devastation 6 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: here in La. 7 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:16,640 Speaker 2: We referenced today's date being January ninth, so we wanted 8 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 2: you to keep that in mind before you listen. 9 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,279 Speaker 1: Thank you, We love you, We love you. 10 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 2: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast. 11 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrub but Dub. 12 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 2: Dub Wow, you know what happens on Mars. 13 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 3: Keep it tight, you guys, keep it tight. I'm going 14 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 3: to not make it tight. 15 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: There was some intimate eye contact there with you, Mark 16 00:00:53,760 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: during that scrub Dub Dub A Dear BONDI episode. 17 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 3: That guys trying to keep it tight. 18 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 4: Out Number one episode was very long, by the way, 19 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 4: probably one of our longer what. 20 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 1: You say that it was right, maybe at an hour. 21 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 4: An hour, but yeah, quite. 22 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: An hour, yeah, like barely under and our episodes used 23 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: to be like an hour and fifteen minutes, Like I 24 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: feel like at at the beginning. 25 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 4: But it's so fun. 26 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:32,319 Speaker 3: It is when the time flies. It's like what is time? 27 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: What is time? 28 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,279 Speaker 3: But a number? 29 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 4: You know? 30 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 3: But if you're enjoying thyself, why put a time stamp on it? 31 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 2: And That's what I'm doing right now. I'm enjoying my life. 32 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 2: I'm enjoying my time. 33 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 4: Taking sunny on three mile walks. 34 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. Actually I need to get out soon so that 35 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 3: I could take. 36 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: For my uh because. 37 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,919 Speaker 2: A community accountability activity. 38 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 3: I've been doing good. I've been doing it every day. 39 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, how have the how's the community been doing really good? 40 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 2: There's like a couple people, like a good handful that 41 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 2: I've been posting every single day. 42 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: I know. So proud of you guys. 43 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 3: Thanks, I'm proud of us too. 44 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 4: Yeah. 45 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: We have some hard hitting questions and advice that we 46 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: need to get to, so why not start now? 47 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 4: All right? Banya? This is from V dear beca Tanya Marketistern. 48 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 4: I was just in a relationship for rom of three 49 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 4: years with someone who I thought was the love of 50 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 4: my life, only to have my heart broken from coming 51 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 4: across texts from his brother on his iPad, essentially saying 52 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 4: he doesn't love me anymore. We were supposed to leave 53 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 4: the following morning to go back to my parents for Christmas, 54 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 4: which led to us parting ways and me going to 55 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 4: my family and him going to his. He called me 56 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 4: a day later and told me, no, he does love me, 57 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 4: but due to me being an anxious attachment style and 58 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 4: him being an avoidant anxious, we clashed a lot. He 59 00:02:55,840 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 4: said that, really, well, we never thought our relationship was beautiful. 60 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 4: I helped him get sober over a year and a 61 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 4: half of work, and he became a new man and 62 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 4: the man I had fallen in love with all over again. 63 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 4: We've talked since, and he suggested doing couple's therapy, but 64 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 4: his main concern is he doesn't know if he would 65 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 4: hurt me again like this if he got back together 66 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 4: with me. And he's now done this to me twice, 67 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,280 Speaker 4: both times in which he did get better, and both 68 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 4: substance abuse related. But I don't know if I can 69 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,360 Speaker 4: take this pain a fourth time. So I told him 70 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,639 Speaker 4: if he's not confident, he also to let me go. 71 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 4: His mom reached out to me, told me I'm his 72 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 4: best friend and her own son is a mess and 73 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 4: she hopes he can figure himself out. But he's really conflicted. 74 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 4: She told me not to wait for him, and I 75 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 4: don't want to. I'm moving back home to take some 76 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 4: time with my family, to recoup and try to move on. 77 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 4: But let's say down the road he did come back 78 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 4: to me and fixed everything. Do I hear him out? 79 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 4: Any words of wisdom or advice? Tanya, you kind of 80 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 4: dealt with this. We broke up with Robbie and got 81 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 4: back together a few months later. How did you cope? 82 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 4: Any advice you can offer be appreciated. You all are 83 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 4: the lights that helped my morning commutes better, So thank 84 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 4: you for all you do. 85 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: You know, here's the thing. Tell me if if after 86 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: the trigger of it, when you and Robbie split for 87 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: a moment, if if y'all had gotten back together and 88 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: then another another time went by, amount of time went by, 89 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: and then he did it, he did it again, I 90 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,119 Speaker 1: would be so adamant about you not getting back together 91 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: with him, because I was pretty adamant about the first time. 92 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 1: I was pretty much like, what are we doing? He 93 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 1: ain't and I was wrong, you know, it was like 94 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: you knew what was right. But I think that ultimately, 95 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,119 Speaker 1: if he kept doing things that made you feel that way, 96 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: I would be very very much like, do not get 97 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:42,279 Speaker 1: back with this man? 98 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 3: So I would agree. 99 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 2: I feel like I would echo your sentiment. However, I 100 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 2: do feel like when you have a history with someone 101 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 2: and you so badly want it to be that person, 102 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 2: that you kind of look past all that stuff, and like, 103 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 2: my only conc is if you listen to what other 104 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 2: people think, and let's say people are telling you don't 105 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 2: get back together with him, don't get back together with him, 106 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 2: and then you don't get back together with him, and 107 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 2: then let's just say he was the love of your life, 108 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 2: and then in twenty years you totally regret it because 109 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 2: you're like, he was my guy. Would you rather that 110 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 2: happen or would you rather follow your heart and do 111 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 2: what your heart's telling you. Maybe you get hurt again, 112 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 2: but at least you don't look back on your life 113 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 2: regretting doing something that wasn't what you wanted to do. 114 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: I guess the thing is, though, it's like, if it's 115 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: gonna happen a fourth time, is it gonna happen a 116 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: fifth time? Like when you set your standard higher that 117 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,039 Speaker 1: you deserve better? 118 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 3: Right? 119 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,159 Speaker 2: When is that point? Is it after two? Is it 120 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 2: after three? Is it after four? 121 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 3: And after one. 122 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: Think she's reached that point because she said, I don't 123 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: want to. She said, I don't want she said, she 124 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 1: also told me not to wait on him. His mom 125 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 1: told her not to wait on him, and she said, which, 126 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to. So she's already made a decision 127 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: where she's like, knows that she should probably move on 128 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: and that it's not gonna get better or be her forever. 129 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: But she's like you said, he's familiar, he's her best friend. 130 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 2: Maybe a compromise, Maybe there's a compromise, because she says, 131 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 2: do I hear him out. Maybe you give him a 132 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 2: certain amount of time, you say, come back to me 133 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 2: in six months and I'll hear you out. So then 134 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 2: that that shows that like he's really committed, he will 135 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 2: respect your wishes and if he really wants you, he'll 136 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 2: wait those six months and he'll come back and he'll 137 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,160 Speaker 2: explain it. 138 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: But I think you'll go no contact, no contact. You 139 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: have to like you're not there's no way to be 140 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: middle of the road on you. 141 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 2: Have to mentally be like that door is shut. In 142 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 2: six months, I'll hear him out. 143 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 1: It's not locked, it's not a shut, it's shut. Yeah, 144 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,840 Speaker 1: it's not locked. Maybe you won't walk it. 145 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 3: You can in six months, okay, and hear him out. 146 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 1: I just think that you know what you like, I 147 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 1: know what your heart is wanting to do. It's like 148 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: your head that's wanting you to stay back because you 149 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: love him and you want him to reach his potential 150 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 1: and be the person that you think he can be. 151 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 1: But I also I think you know that you're going 152 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: to continually be disappointed. 153 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 3: Hard to say. 154 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: I say you shut the door. I say you take 155 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,239 Speaker 1: time for yourself, get make yourself better, go to therapy, 156 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,559 Speaker 1: work on your anxious attachment style, and work on being 157 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: the best and healthiest version of you with your family. 158 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 1: And then if you feel ready and assert set a 159 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: certain amount of time that you both go no contact, 160 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,119 Speaker 1: then you can give them a chance. But you also 161 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 1: might meet someone better. 162 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 4: And you deserve someone you deserve, not a work in progress, 163 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,320 Speaker 4: somebody you don't have to fix y and somebody that's 164 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 4: not going to be sure about you. You deserve someone 165 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 4: who is sure about you and is already fully formed. 166 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 1: He's already concerned, he doesn't want to hurt you again. 167 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: He's already like setting it up that he's going to. 168 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 3: Hurt you again. 169 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 4: You can do better. There are so many dudes out there. 170 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can say with full confidence that I have 171 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 2: never gone to Robbie and said I'm scared I'm going 172 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 2: to hurt you, like never once. Right, Yes, I'm saying 173 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 2: him at some point or like you know, like I 174 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 2: may have hurt him in certain fights or whatever, but like, 175 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 2: I've never said those words. 176 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 4: Who knows him better than anyone in the entire world. 177 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 4: His mom, his mom, and you're his mom, is saying 178 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 4: to you. 179 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: He's a mess. 180 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 4: Go run. 181 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: You're better than that. 182 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 4: You gotta go. 183 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: That's speaking volumes because moms and their sons. 184 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,439 Speaker 2: Lomy wants to keep the baby boy single, doesn't want him, 185 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 2: you know, and. 186 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: Even more for her to get out. 187 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 4: Next from anonymous, Hi, bead on your macciest. My brother 188 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 4: and I have been best friends, especially as adults, but 189 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 4: our relationship is now strained because of his girlfriend. After 190 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 4: I got engaged to my now fiance, Hurricane Helene disrupted 191 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 4: my life. I had to move it, had a lot 192 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 4: of stress during what should have been a joyful time. 193 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,319 Speaker 4: I invited my brother's girlfriend to get her hair and 194 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 4: makeup done for my wedding, but She accused me of 195 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 4: only inviting her to meet a quota, which isn't true. 196 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 4: She has made hurtful comments, including saying she's enjoying watching 197 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 4: me deal with my hurricane related challenges, which I addressed 198 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 4: with my brother. He was initially apologetic, but later became 199 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 4: defensive and accused me of being passive, aggressive, and unkind 200 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 4: to her, which I feel is unfair. His girlfriend has 201 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 4: ignored my attempts to address the situation maturely and has 202 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 4: continued to make nice slash nasty remarks, leaving me feeling 203 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 4: hurt and unsupported. My parents think I should get over it, 204 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 4: but I'm struggling with how to move forward without damaging 205 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 4: my relationships with my family. Love you, guys, and thank you. 206 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,200 Speaker 4: To be continued, well hopefully not. 207 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is brutal. 208 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 4: Sucks when your sibling dates somebody that you don't like. 209 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 4: Yes it sucks. 210 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, here's the thing. But there's nothing that you 211 00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 2: can do about it. So you have to just set boundaries. 212 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 2: That's literally all you can do. 213 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 1: But what are the boundaries because she's really close with 214 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 1: her brother, So how do you set a boundary? 215 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 3: You know, you just have to do it. 216 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: Dude, does she do it with him and just say, hey, 217 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: I am having. 218 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 2: Like not an external boundary, it's an internal boundary. So 219 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 2: maybe you don't hang out with them all the time. 220 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,439 Speaker 2: Maybe you just hang out with them when all your 221 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 2: family is there. Do you know what I mean, Like 222 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 2: you need to help yourself having a conversation with your 223 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 2: brother about this. It's not gonna go well nope, I 224 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 2: don't think. So you either need to let this and 225 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 2: this girlfriend might become the fiance, might become the wife, 226 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 2: and then so on and so forth. So you have 227 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 2: to internally set this boundary and maybe you just hang 228 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,880 Speaker 2: out with them when you hold all your family's together. 229 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,839 Speaker 2: But it's a conversation that it's just not going to 230 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 2: go well. 231 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, so and your family telling you to get over 232 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: it makes me feel like you don't have anyone no 233 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: on your side. So I think that I'm with Tanya. 234 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 1: I think you when you have to have family get togethers, 235 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: when you're around her, you can be cordial, but you 236 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: don't have to like interact with her directly or as 237 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,840 Speaker 1: little as you need to. But I think maybe it's 238 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 1: just that you aren't going to have the same relationship 239 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 1: with him moving forward and it's just like a unfortunately 240 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: something that happens in life. 241 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 4: And maybe you will someday, yeah, yeah. 242 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe he'll have a moment where he's like, yeah, 243 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: this girl, Maybe he'll take off his rose colored glasses 244 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 1: and see her. 245 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 2: Family dynamics are so tricky, and I don't know one 246 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 2: person that doesn't have some sort of like weird family 247 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,439 Speaker 2: dynamic situation and annoying this and annoying that, a person 248 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,719 Speaker 2: that doesn't want this, A sibling that makes everything about that, 249 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 2: like you know what I mean, Like everybody has, every 250 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 2: family has their own stuff. So it's like these internal 251 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 2: boundaries are life changing. 252 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,079 Speaker 1: You have to have them. 253 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 3: You have to have them. 254 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,559 Speaker 4: Good luck or he might marry her. Either way, keep 255 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 4: some different instant. 256 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:04,200 Speaker 3: Her then the boundaries. You're lucky you made those boundaries. 257 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: My home is that he doesn't marry her. But my 258 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: other hope is that you find peace even if he does. 259 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 4: And when you're around her, which you will be killer 260 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 4: with kindness, Yes, just be the nicest, friendliest. Oh my gosh, 261 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 4: you look great. 262 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,440 Speaker 1: I'm so happy you got your makeup and hair done 263 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: to meet my quota. 264 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 4: That's so weird. Hey, let's take a break. 265 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 1: Oh, Yeah, let's do it, because when we come back, 266 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:54,680 Speaker 1: we have a coworker who is caught talking. All right, 267 00:12:54,760 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: we are back this one's juicy work things since. 268 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 4: Jucy Anonymous again. Hi, I'm back a tidy market instant 269 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 4: day one scrubber here. I love the podcast and I'm 270 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 4: looking for my own advice. Today I walked past my 271 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 4: coworker's computer while she was in the bathroom in a 272 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 4: shared office space and her team's messages were open. I 273 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 4: noticed a message on the screen to Inhern, my other coworker. 274 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 4: I inadvertently read part of the first line of the 275 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,679 Speaker 4: message as I was walking out of the office, and 276 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 4: while I cannot one hundred percent confirm without reading the rest, 277 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,680 Speaker 4: I think it was about me. I've been feeling some 278 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 4: distance lightly between her and myself. Was unsure why it 279 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 4: would really hurt my feelings to know these two were 280 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,079 Speaker 4: talking about me behind my back. For a background, we're 281 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 4: a small office. We work in healthcare. We use dark 282 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 4: humor to cope with burnout. Generally, I'm an anxious person 283 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 4: and typically think the worst and think that everyone hates me. 284 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,559 Speaker 4: So what would you all do? Confess that I briefly 285 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 4: read something she left open? On a computer that I 286 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 4: believe could be about me and ask if we need 287 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,720 Speaker 4: to clear the air and clear anything up, or should 288 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,559 Speaker 4: I leave it alone. I appreciate your advice and your 289 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,599 Speaker 4: weekly entertainment. 290 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 3: I know where I stand. Oh what it alone? 291 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,599 Speaker 1: Okay? So the reason I agree with you, Typically I 292 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 1: would say I would just have a conversation because sometimes 293 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: it's just easier to like squash it. But because she 294 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: said I'm an anxious person and typically think the worst 295 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 1: and that everyone hates me, I think you might be 296 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: overthinking something very selware. 297 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 4: Though I really appreciate the. 298 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: Self awareness, but I think you might make something bigger 299 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 1: and feel more. 300 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 3: Awkward, and you're going to feel so much more awkward. 301 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 1: I think if you start noticing, like if it happens again, 302 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: or you like have confirmation that they're talking about you, 303 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 1: then I think you bring it to her and say, like, hey, 304 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: is there something going on? I just want to like 305 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 1: have a conversation about it because I'm you know, I'm 306 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 1: anxious and I think everyone hates me, and. 307 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 2: I had this conversation before you at work. I don't 308 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 2: need to say with Mark, no. 309 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 4: You thought someone here hated you? 310 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 2: No, No, I don't think anybody hates me, but I think, 311 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 2: like I can pick up on vibes, and I was 312 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 2: getting like weird vibes, and so I like pulled her 313 00:14:58,640 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 2: aside and was like, hey. 314 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 4: Know what you're talking about. 315 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there's something going on and you were very close. 316 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 4: Now it's my understanding. 317 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, okay, yeah, but you have to be ready 318 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 3: for like I don't. I don't know. It's hard to 319 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 3: explain because she said what she said. 320 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 1: But well for you, So why wouldn't you encourage anonymous 321 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 1: to do that? 322 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 3: Because she has to say that she was snooping. 323 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 4: And she's not undred percent sure what right mine was. 324 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: I've like I had to tell Haley I was snooping 325 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,240 Speaker 1: and to have a conversation about something. And I was 326 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 1: like I wouldn't have been able to sleep if we 327 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 1: didn't have it, and she was like. 328 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 3: True, I snooped and found some things too. 329 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: But it's like you just have to say, yeah. I 330 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 1: was walking back and I took a little peak. 331 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 3: I was like, Hi, this stuff better. 332 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,240 Speaker 4: No, leave it alone. You got leave it alone. 333 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 1: I think I think leave it alone. If something else 334 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,280 Speaker 1: happened and you have confirmation that it's about you, you 335 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 1: have a conversation about. 336 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 5: It, And let me just say a warning to all 337 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 5: those out there that want to be talking some smack. 338 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 6: On the team's platform. Employer can seal that stuff. This 339 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 6: happened to a oh text people, or that. 340 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 4: Happened to me. The slack happened to remember a year 341 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 4: or two ago. Yes, a guy we work with here 342 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 4: and don't anymore called me an ass hat. Yes, yeah, 343 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 4: and he wasn't joking, like he was really frustrated with 344 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 4: something I had done. 345 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 3: Accident. 346 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 4: It was sent. 347 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 6: It was sent in a in a group that Mark 348 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 6: is not a part of, but Mike can see. 349 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 4: But I didn't go looking for it, like I did 350 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 4: a search looking for something in slack because you can 351 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 4: search keywords and slack. And that conversation came up, and 352 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 4: I was like, oh, this is weird. Oh this happened today, 353 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 4: so it's a weird coincidence. And so I, since I'm 354 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 4: now in that group because you don't have to be invited, 355 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 4: I responded to that, Hey, guys, just so you know 356 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 4: everyone can read this, so cooler. Yeah, that was weird. Yeah. 357 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 5: A friend of ours was a talking smack of her 358 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 5: email and someone the person they're talking about happened to 359 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 5: see it on the screen and went to the boss 360 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,239 Speaker 5: and they pulled all the emails and everyone. 361 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,520 Speaker 6: Got in a lot of trouble. You should be talk 362 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 6: about people hunt to back anyway. It's just not bad, 363 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,960 Speaker 6: you know. Yeah, yeah, nobody ever does that. I've never 364 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 6: done it. 365 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 3: I never do that. Yeah, no, no, no, But slack 366 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 3: is not good. 367 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:14,439 Speaker 4: You know. 368 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,640 Speaker 6: You know who's in charge of the slack me. I 369 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 6: can see it all. 370 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 3: You can see everything. 371 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,199 Speaker 5: I'm just I'm just saying, if you want to talk 372 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 5: to some maac, you should do it in person or 373 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 5: on your personal phone. 374 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,119 Speaker 6: I don't I can't see. I don't look at these things. 375 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 1: But this is a mouth is the whitest I've ever 376 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:34,639 Speaker 1: seen it right now. 377 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 2: I mean I'm not talking about but I've said some 378 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 2: very intimate things on Slack. 379 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 6: Yeah, and this is a like work provided platform. 380 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:49,160 Speaker 2: Very intimate, very intimate. Who Sierra Sam intimate? 381 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 1: You're you're an open book. 382 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:56,440 Speaker 2: So I mean true in your dropbox nudes have been Yeah, 383 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,200 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I'm not I'm not using Slack anymore. 384 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 4: Classic moment Also anonymous high ladies. Both of you were 385 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 4: in such happy relationships and you seem to have such 386 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 4: healthy routines. I want to know what major steps you 387 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 4: took to get there. I'm twenty five and feeling pretty 388 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 4: lonely these days. My deepest friendships are from college in 389 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 4: high school, which is great in some ways, but in 390 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 4: other ways, I just feel like I have none close 391 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,120 Speaker 4: to me who sees me as the person I am 392 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 4: today rather than my high school self. Was there ever 393 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,479 Speaker 4: a time you felt really alone, like after a breakup 394 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 4: or moving to a new place, and what did you 395 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 4: do to get out of that rut and find your people? 396 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,119 Speaker 4: Thank you? 397 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:35,200 Speaker 3: Twenty five's tough. I found twenty five to be. 398 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,920 Speaker 4: Tough quarter life crisis and less about. 399 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:42,360 Speaker 2: That, but like it's an age where for me, all 400 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,640 Speaker 2: of my friends from high school and college were getting 401 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 2: married and like having kids or had just gotten married 402 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 2: and having kids, and I was so far from that 403 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 2: that I would like I would fly out for baby showers, 404 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,640 Speaker 2: I'd fly out for bridle things, bridle this, bridle that, 405 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 2: and I would fly home alone back to LA and 406 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 2: I was like very sad about it. 407 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 3: I remember the Yeah, like I'd be really really like 408 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 3: sad about it. 409 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 2: And I think because I so badly wanted that for 410 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 2: my life, you know what I mean, Like I wanted 411 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,879 Speaker 2: to find my partner, but it just wasn't happening for 412 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 2: me for some reason, which is why Like now that 413 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 2: I'm here, it's like even more special. But but I 414 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,400 Speaker 2: remember in that time being like really. 415 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:31,479 Speaker 1: Sad, so weird. I remember why I'm like not sad. 416 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:36,360 Speaker 1: I remember coming back from going to a shower or something, 417 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 1: and You're like, I'm feeling so sad right now. Like 418 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm not in the same I'm 419 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 1: not in the place that I thought I would be 420 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: at this age. Like I like vividly remember a conversation 421 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 1: with you about that. Yeah, And I think it is 422 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 1: a weird time your mid twenties. You're like kind of 423 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: trying to figure out your career. Like you're still kind 424 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,639 Speaker 1: of out of like the college age. You're trying to 425 00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: You're you're wanting to feel established, but you're still so young. Yeah, 426 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,920 Speaker 1: you're feeling like you should, especially depending on where you're 427 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,680 Speaker 1: from in the country specifically, there's like this cultural where 428 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,360 Speaker 1: I was from, everyone was like getting married or engaged 429 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 1: fresh out of college and then having kids and it 430 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,160 Speaker 1: was kind of like whoa. 431 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 2: And like here's the thing, what I realized is like 432 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 2: there's pros and cons to literally everything in life. There's 433 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 2: pros to getting married young and having kids young. There's 434 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,240 Speaker 2: cons to getting married young and having kids young. There's 435 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 2: pros to getting married later in life. There's you know 436 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, there's pros and cons to both sides. 437 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 2: And I just feel like you don't see that at 438 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 2: twenty five, you know what I mean? You just see 439 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 2: the cons of the path that you're on for some reason, you. 440 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:41,120 Speaker 1: Know what I mean. 441 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 4: That's the wisdom that comes with age, as cliche as 442 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 4: that is, and I try to impart that to my daughters, 443 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 4: that everything is going to work out exactly the way 444 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 4: it's supposed to work out. And then that happened for you, Yeah, 445 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 4: and that happened for you, It happened for all of us. 446 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. 447 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 4: But we've all had those moments, where is it going 448 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,439 Speaker 4: to happen for me? What's going to happen to me? 449 00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,239 Speaker 4: It's all going to work out just fine. It may 450 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 4: not be what you plan, not it being right, but 451 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 4: when you get into your fifties and sixties, you realize, 452 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 4: you know, that all worked out just fine. 453 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, Because then I have people who were like in 454 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 2: their forties who were like, I wish I would have 455 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,679 Speaker 2: gotten married in my twenties because I would not have 456 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:13,400 Speaker 2: married this person. 457 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 4: Yeah. 458 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's like it's just you just there's. 459 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 2: Good and bad in everything, and I just feel like 460 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 2: twenty five is a yeah, tough age. 461 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,359 Speaker 1: Twenty five was the year I went on The Bachelor, 462 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 1: and it was like such a time of my life 463 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,359 Speaker 1: while I was like very much like why not. And 464 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,359 Speaker 1: it's so funny because I remember being younger and thinking 465 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,680 Speaker 1: like by twenty five, I'll be married with two kids, 466 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 1: and next thing I knew, I'm going on a reality 467 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 1: show like trying to get validated by a rose. 468 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 4: You know. 469 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: It was like I couldn't have thought of a different 470 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: way that my life would go. And then I went 471 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: on and the reason that I was able to meet 472 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,359 Speaker 1: Haley is because I went on the show. Yeah, and 473 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: I met you know, I met people that led me 474 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: to Haley. And it's like sometimes what Mark said is 475 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: so true, Like everything that is supposed to happen is 476 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,159 Speaker 1: going to happen because that's how life works. 477 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 4: Everything that's meant for you will find you. Yes, and 478 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,879 Speaker 4: also your dreams change, Like if you could talk to 479 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 4: teenage Becca right now, she would say to you, well, 480 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,640 Speaker 4: am I married? Do I have to cant? And you'd 481 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,399 Speaker 4: say absolutely not. And they'd be like, oh no, you'd say, no, 482 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 4: you don't get here. I would be the case. Everything 483 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 4: changes as you know, I try to you know, my 484 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,159 Speaker 4: kids have big dreams. Are teenagers, right, They have big dreams, 485 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 4: And I'm like, all your dreams are not going to 486 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,640 Speaker 4: come true. But that's because dreams changed throughout the years 487 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,879 Speaker 4: and that's okay, and that's how it should be and 488 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 4: that's a beautiful thing. Yeah. 489 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 2: Anyway, but what she was saying also she's feeling like 490 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:35,680 Speaker 2: really alone, like she doesn't have friends. 491 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 3: I feel like, no, we have. I think we have. 492 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,199 Speaker 2: But I feel like also finding friends that are in 493 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,160 Speaker 2: similar seasons of life too, is like really important, because 494 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,640 Speaker 2: I like, I really nourished new friendships that I met, 495 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,479 Speaker 2: you know, later on in life, but that that that 496 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,560 Speaker 2: really became Those were my pivotal years, you know what 497 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,080 Speaker 2: I mean. And so I think finding people in the 498 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,240 Speaker 2: same season of life is also really important too. 499 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, like finding groups and like going to like places 500 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 1: where you can find a community that people have the 501 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: same interest because you are in that phase of life 502 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 1: where there's that two roads and if you're you want 503 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,239 Speaker 1: to find people who are on the same road as 504 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 1: you because you getting to experience life with friends and 505 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: experiences is like the best thing ever. I am so 506 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 1: obsessed with Haley and I love our relationship and being 507 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 1: in a relationship with her. And I also had such 508 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,000 Speaker 1: a great time before I met Haley because I was 509 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 1: I had relationships outside of a romantic relationship that were 510 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 1: so meaningful. So I think finding those those people is 511 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,679 Speaker 1: crucial for you right now. Yeah, to make an effort 512 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 1: to do. 513 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:45,280 Speaker 2: That, definitely, But don't take Beca because she's mine. 514 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm tied up. I got a lot, I 515 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 1: got a lot, a lot of people to please support. 516 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,680 Speaker 4: Well, we've got some lighter ones with should we take 517 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,639 Speaker 4: a break? Absolutely? 518 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 1: All right, we are back with some hard hitting finale. 519 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 4: I like these final ones. These are my favorite ones 520 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,880 Speaker 4: in the Dear Bonias. It's the last question is Emily 521 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,440 Speaker 4: E M M A L E E. By the way, 522 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 4: Emily a lot of letters. Can the girls please do 523 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,200 Speaker 4: another truth or drinks? 524 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: So? 525 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,119 Speaker 4: And can we please ask Tanya if she has actually 526 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,879 Speaker 4: started washing her feet in the shower since Robbie asked 527 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,399 Speaker 4: her to, I have to know this debate has always 528 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 4: made me laugh so hard. Love you all more than 529 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,640 Speaker 4: I can put into words. You've all been so kind 530 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 4: when I've met you in this podcast has brought me 531 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:56,359 Speaker 4: joyce since day one. Emily, that's lovely. Well, Tanya, you 532 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:57,120 Speaker 4: wash my feet. 533 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 2: But it's so funny actually, So we literally just had 534 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,159 Speaker 2: this conversation over New Year as I asked, like our 535 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 2: friend group, I go, do you guys, how many showers 536 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 2: do you take a day? 537 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:11,359 Speaker 3: Because I was convinced everybody takes two? Yeah, most people 538 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 3: take one. 539 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, most people take one. 540 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think most people take one. The crucial thing 541 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,199 Speaker 1: is that you take the night shower. 542 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 3: No no, no, no no no, it's morning. 543 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 1: Shower for people, so they'd get dirty with out door 544 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,960 Speaker 1: they have outside air on them. 545 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,320 Speaker 3: Outside air in their beds. 546 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,960 Speaker 1: That's crazy. 547 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I did an informal poll, and I actually maybe 548 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 2: would like the scrubbers to. 549 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 3: Chime in on this. Are you a morning shower a 550 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 3: night shower? 551 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 2: Because I too thought, okay, if you're only taking one, 552 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 2: you're defa taking the night Oh no, no, no, no, 553 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,879 Speaker 2: it's the morning. Because you can't go around people not 554 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 2: having shower, but you can get into your bed like 555 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 2: who cares? 556 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,920 Speaker 3: I know, But. 557 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 2: Anyways, I get in the shower, I wash my hot spots, 558 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 2: my arm pits, my vagina, my butt, and my feet spot. 559 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 4: I don't think I like hot spots, but basically do 560 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 4: is you added feed to your list of hot spots? 561 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 4: And when you do what you do one at a time, 562 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 4: like you're standing and you lift one up or is 563 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 4: there a sitting or is there a crouching or a 564 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 4: lead with the feet. 565 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 2: That's why it's so annoying because you do one at 566 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 2: a time. I put one up on the thing, I 567 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 2: wash it. 568 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 4: What is the thing? It's like a little little ben. 569 00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 2: I wouldn't say it's a bench, but it's like a 570 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,159 Speaker 2: little indent where like the shampoos go can't really. 571 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 4: So it's low because our shampoo is like almost did 572 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:25,880 Speaker 4: eye like, yeah. 573 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 3: No, no, it's it's lower. It's lower. 574 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 2: But I wouldn't say you can't sit on it. It's 575 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,640 Speaker 2: not like a bench, but it's just a little indent. 576 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,199 Speaker 2: I put my foot there. I wash it with in 577 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:35,160 Speaker 2: between my toes. 578 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 4: Like that in between your toes with just your hands 579 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 4: or right hands, no loof and no spote, No, that's 580 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 4: another conversation. 581 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 2: And then I washed the other one and then out 582 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 2: quick two minutes. 583 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 4: So legs go unwashed, unwashed, back, unwashed, unwashed belly, unwashed ears. 584 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 2: Sometimes when I wash my hair, I'll wash my hair, 585 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,440 Speaker 2: so maybe like two or three times a week. 586 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,400 Speaker 4: Facial washing is a separate thing. 587 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:08,400 Speaker 3: Every day, every day, morning and night. The face gets yeah, yeah, but. 588 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: No, I'm just listening learning. 589 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:14,320 Speaker 4: I find this all fashioned. 590 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,399 Speaker 1: Really, I wash every inch of my body two times 591 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 1: a day, once a day. I washed my face every 592 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:22,680 Speaker 1: single Well, it depends on if I'm. 593 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:23,720 Speaker 3: See how the story changes. 594 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:28,040 Speaker 1: What I don't what today I try today? No, No, 595 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 1: I wash my face. I washed my face when I 596 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 1: wake up, Okay, And and then like if I'm if 597 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,399 Speaker 1: I'm going somewhere where I'm like getting dressed up, like 598 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: I'll shower like today, I shower like body shower, not 599 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 1: hair right right right, and then tonight I'll shower right. 600 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:45,680 Speaker 1: But I wish everything when I shower. Washing my hair 601 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 1: feels excessive, probably not great. My skin's very drying. 602 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 4: Arms, back, How do you get the back? 603 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,359 Speaker 1: I will so I do this, and I do this, so. 604 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,879 Speaker 4: That does She's reaching off her shoulder around. 605 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: So do you want to hear my whole? Okay? Yeah, 606 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,640 Speaker 1: So when I first get in the shower or the bath, 607 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,680 Speaker 1: I do my back first, my upper back and behind 608 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,639 Speaker 1: my ears, my neck that. Yeah, and I use my 609 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,720 Speaker 1: like I have face washed that I use for that 610 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,879 Speaker 1: because I want that all to be like clean and 611 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:25,159 Speaker 1: like like use the same stuff on my face behind 612 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,439 Speaker 1: my ears, and then I do the rest of my 613 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 1: body all the way down behind your ears and then 614 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,440 Speaker 1: my face. 615 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 4: So top to your top to bottom. Yeah, start with 616 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 4: the ears, and. 617 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,439 Speaker 1: You know, I start with the neck and back and 618 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 1: then down and then do my face, but you work. 619 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 4: Your way down, yes, okay. And you do wash your 620 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:47,080 Speaker 4: feet specifically, yes, yes, bottoms and tops between the toes. Yes, 621 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 4: I see any kind of lufah sponge or anything. 622 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,479 Speaker 1: I alternate lufah. But like after loofah gets to a 623 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,200 Speaker 1: certain place, then I don't want to use anything of 624 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 1: them my hands because it's like is this collect thing 625 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 1: like bacteria. I don't do that on my imaginal though. 626 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. 627 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: I don't use a loofa down there okay, yeah, yeah. 628 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:15,360 Speaker 4: Okay, wow, I hope this clear thing. 629 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 3: Showers are not meant to be enjoyed. They're like mechanicals. 630 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:26,640 Speaker 1: It's so enjoyable. He's like, oh my god, if you 631 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: have if you take a if you become a bath person, 632 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: A bath is like the best thing in the world. 633 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 3: Like I could literally make dinner, do the dishes, and 634 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 3: like walk the dog while you shower. 635 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,719 Speaker 4: I luxuriate in the shower. 636 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 6: How often do you use a towel? 637 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,720 Speaker 1: A good question before you watch it or get a 638 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:43,120 Speaker 1: new one. 639 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 6: Yeah, so. 640 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 1: I would say I use it. I would say two 641 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 1: to three times. 642 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 6: Wow. 643 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 2: Well, if I'm counting both my showers, so that would 644 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,400 Speaker 2: be twice a day, three day, So I use it 645 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 2: six times. 646 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, so three like three days. 647 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 648 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 6: So I used to be a one and done wow 649 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 6: every shower, and then I like. 650 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 4: A tissue box of towels over there. 651 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,960 Speaker 5: And then I moved out of my parents' house to 652 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 5: pay for my those coins got to be pretty steep. 653 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,000 Speaker 5: But now I'm doing, Uh, I do once a day, 654 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 5: one towel a day, so like I use it in 655 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 5: the morning and at night, and then I ditch that towel. 656 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,920 Speaker 1: Oh, that's quite impressed. Yeah, a lot of model laundry. 657 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 1: What about you mark? 658 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 4: Which part of this are we discussing the towels. 659 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,160 Speaker 1: Really, whatever you want to share here. 660 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 4: You know what's sad. I'm not sure how often the 661 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,080 Speaker 4: towels get washed. 662 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:44,360 Speaker 6: It's man, I'm sorry. How often does one appear? 663 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 4: But it's every once in a while, it's gone, and 664 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 4: then it's back shortly thereafter. Sometimes I'll collect them and 665 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:51,960 Speaker 4: bring them down. But I don't know that we have 666 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,760 Speaker 4: a regular schedule on that. I'm not sure if it's 667 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 4: every three days, four days, I'm not I'm not sure, 668 00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,200 Speaker 4: but I don't But whatever whatever we do is right. 669 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 4: I'm fine with it. 670 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 5: Because there was a thing on the internet a few 671 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,800 Speaker 5: years ago about how men will dry their genitals and 672 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,720 Speaker 5: then use that on their face, like the next day 673 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 5: the same and saying the towel forgets about it. 674 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 1: But I think the same till as Robbie my genitals. 675 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 3: Oh I have genitals right? 676 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 2: No, no, no, the towel when you get out, I 677 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 2: dry my bag, dry my butt like I. 678 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,560 Speaker 3: Dry all the things. And then the next day I 679 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 3: don't remember what that is, and it was right on 680 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 3: my face. 681 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 4: That's so gross. 682 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 3: I never thought of it like that. I am disgusted 683 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 3: with myself. 684 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 6: I've just been sitting there collecting. 685 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 4: You can't overthink these things because you can only do 686 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 4: so much. 687 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 3: I have to do it every day now. I have 688 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,160 Speaker 3: to wash my towel every day. 689 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,960 Speaker 4: No, you don't. Life too short. 690 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 1: You could have a handtel to get a lot of 691 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 1: towels and then. 692 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 3: You're I'm going to do that. I feels like a lot, 693 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,360 Speaker 3: but I'm gonna have two towels now. 694 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,840 Speaker 1: No, I just feel clean enough that I don't think. 695 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,920 Speaker 1: I'm not worried about that. I'm getting all the shower. 696 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: I'm like the cleanest. 697 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 3: I know. 698 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 2: But like, how clean can your butt crack it? 699 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:31,800 Speaker 1: I don't know about mine? I don't know. Actually, yeah, okay, 700 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 1: let's round this out with Tammy. 701 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 4: All right, Tammy says Hi Beckat on your market Eastern. First, 702 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 4: I want to start off by saying, how about you 703 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 4: guys make me laugh? I started listening to the podcast 704 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 4: from the beginning of listening to the podcast in the 705 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 4: beginning again, and every episode I'm laughing. I told my 706 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 4: mom about you guys, and she's been loving listening to 707 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 4: you as well. It's always the best listening to the 708 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 4: four of you. As I've been listening to old episodes, 709 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,239 Speaker 4: I wanted to see if you guys could bring back 710 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,360 Speaker 4: those fun games used to play, like Jeopardy or doing 711 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:04,440 Speaker 4: prank calls to listeners were really fun. Those are probably illegal, 712 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 4: but still I love you all and I can't wait 713 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,320 Speaker 4: to see our girl Tanya marry her red Star this year. 714 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 4: From a Day One listener, Tammy and her. 715 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,560 Speaker 3: Mom, Tammy and Tammy's mom. 716 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,440 Speaker 1: Wow, Yeah, we should bring back those games. Those are fun. 717 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 4: The Jeopardy schedule a lot of work. But if you 718 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 4: guys want games, I'll do games you don't. 719 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:30,120 Speaker 2: Have to do. 720 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: We were doing them like off you were put to 721 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: work on those. I was we could do like one 722 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,360 Speaker 1: every you know, throwing a. 723 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 4: Quarter it's a quarter well, and the ones like Celerity 724 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 4: birthday game in the high Low game we can do 725 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 4: any time you want. I'm always ready for those. 726 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:44,320 Speaker 2: You know. 727 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,719 Speaker 1: The game I played last night is we played like 728 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 1: a second of like a Taylor Slift song to see 729 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 1: who could get fun. Taylor Banks got it. 730 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 3: I imagine you guys. 731 00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: It was the craziest thing. It'd be like a note 732 00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,640 Speaker 1: and she she would just and it'd be a song. 733 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 2: Yea deep cut, deep cut. Wait, can we play one 734 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:03,960 Speaker 2: birthday game? 735 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,680 Speaker 4: Yeah? By the way, A game I'd like to recommend 736 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 4: to you is a board game called The Chameleon. We 737 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,239 Speaker 4: played it a lot over the holidays and it is 738 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 4: very fun. 739 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,880 Speaker 1: Of a chameleon, I mean sorry, I love a good 740 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:16,480 Speaker 1: board game. 741 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,920 Speaker 4: Go through where everybody in the room, you know, the 742 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,759 Speaker 4: category is fast food restaurants, and everyone in the room, 743 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:26,760 Speaker 4: everyone in the circle we played with like eight people 744 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,280 Speaker 4: knows it's McDonald except for one person that's the chameleon. 745 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,239 Speaker 4: And each person gives a word that implies that they 746 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:37,480 Speaker 4: know as McDonald's, like say burger, nuggets, fries, whatever, And 747 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,239 Speaker 4: then at the end you all discuss which of you 748 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 4: was full of it because somebody's got to fake it 749 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:45,279 Speaker 4: because they don't know what it is. But if the 750 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,960 Speaker 4: other people who do know what are too obvious arches Ronald, 751 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,080 Speaker 4: it's so obvious that the chameleon is going to figure 752 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 4: it out and they're going to be able to give 753 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 4: a legit clue. 754 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:54,640 Speaker 3: But who how do you pick the chameleon? 755 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,799 Speaker 4: It's just it's it's randomly chosen. It's delt. 756 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:01,279 Speaker 3: Does sound funny? 757 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 4: Really fun. 758 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:04,680 Speaker 2: We played a lot of fish Bowl over the break, 759 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:09,040 Speaker 2: which was I love fish. Yeah, the bonding experience really 760 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,360 Speaker 2: is yeah. 761 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,919 Speaker 4: All right, here we go. Let's look at I messed 762 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 4: it up. Let's look at today's birthdays. Today is January ninth, 763 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 4: twenty twenty five. We're gonna start with Neded dough Brev, 764 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 4: nined do Brev, Vampire Diaries and whatnot. Tanya, you will begin. 765 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,920 Speaker 4: How old is Nina dough Brev today? 766 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:35,000 Speaker 3: She is thirty four? Becca thirty no younger older? 767 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:36,360 Speaker 4: Well, it depends if we want all three of you. 768 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 4: I can't. Oh, okay, so thirty four. 769 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 6: Thirty eight, thirty six, she is thirty five. 770 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,440 Speaker 4: Tanya gets it because Easton went over. That is the tiebreaker. 771 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 4: One point for Tanya. Next up, Princess Kate Middleton has 772 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 4: a birthday today. How old is she? 773 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:51,839 Speaker 3: She's forty three? 774 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,600 Speaker 1: Do you know that? Or you're just gussing? 775 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:55,640 Speaker 4: Well, she is forty three? 776 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 1: That one really good on the rundown. 777 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,560 Speaker 4: How do you know that? Sean Paul, Sean Paul Gifted 778 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:07,719 Speaker 4: reggaetone rapper, Sean Paul Eastern You can start with this one. 779 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 4: Shut up. 780 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 6: He's forty two, forty. 781 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:14,040 Speaker 1: Two, Tanya, fifty five, fifty five, Beca fifty one. 782 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,360 Speaker 4: Fifty one is he's fifty two now fifty one. Becca 783 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:21,400 Speaker 4: wins that one. How about Dave Matthews. Everybody loves Dave Matthews. 784 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 4: How old is Dave Matthews? Becca, you start this one. 785 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:31,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to say he's Dave Matthews is probably forty eight. 786 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,800 Speaker 4: Forty eight. On Dave Matthews Easton, I'm saying he's fifty 787 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,640 Speaker 4: one fifty one, Tanya, fifty eight fifty seven. 788 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,400 Speaker 3: That's one for Tanya, right, Dave Matthews man right along. 789 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 4: We'll have some birthdays tomorrow, because that's about it for today. 790 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,280 Speaker 4: But Renee Rap How old is Renee Wrap today? Tanya? 791 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 4: Twenty four twenty four, Becca. 792 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:53,960 Speaker 1: I'm going to say twenty six. 793 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 4: Twenty six, twenty seven, twenty seven today she turns twenty five, 794 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 4: which is a tough age we learned to Tanya gets 795 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,920 Speaker 4: that one because she went under. She's got a nice lead, 796 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:08,880 Speaker 4: and let's see if anybody can catch up. Catchup. Andrea Swift, 797 00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:13,640 Speaker 4: that's right, the mother of Taylor Eastern Okay. 798 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,319 Speaker 6: Andrea Swift is. 799 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:21,760 Speaker 4: Sixty nine sixty nine, Tanya sixty five sixty five. Becca, 800 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 4: she is sixty six. Another one for Tanya. My goodness, 801 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:32,720 Speaker 4: she is really on it. How it's so true, holds 802 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 4: Rod Stewart today tomorrow. Rod Stewart start, Yeah, that's right, 803 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,120 Speaker 4: I'll throw it out. That's okay, we can move on. 804 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:43,880 Speaker 4: We're going to Saturday. 805 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:44,239 Speaker 6: Mary J. 806 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:51,920 Speaker 4: Blige, Tanya sixty sixty, fifty nine east fifty five. She 807 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 4: is fifty three four today, fifty four to the Easton 808 00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 4: gets that one. Very nice. I'll do a couple more 809 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,880 Speaker 4: here you would be with your guests. 810 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:07,480 Speaker 1: I was like, well, she's a whit older than I'm 811 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,479 Speaker 1: going day. 812 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,400 Speaker 4: I'm going to Sunday. Oh, okay, Zane Malick, Zane Malick. 813 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,680 Speaker 4: How old is here today? Former member of One Direction 814 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:20,440 Speaker 4: Becca thirty two thirty two is correct? Very you know, 815 00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,920 Speaker 4: so One directioners. How about Jeff Bezos, the guy who 816 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,600 Speaker 4: owns Amazon, one of the richest men in the world. 817 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 4: How old is he today? Let's go with Easton. Jeff 818 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:38,480 Speaker 4: Bezos is fifty eight, Tanya sixty five six sixty two 819 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 4: sixty one. So Becca gets that one, and let's go 820 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 4: with Sunday is a birthday for Oh, this is a 821 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 4: good one. The woman of the Hour, one of the 822 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,399 Speaker 4: most talked about people in America over the last month, 823 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 4: Cynthia Arrivo, How old is Cynthia Arrivo. As of yesterday, 824 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,080 Speaker 4: we're gonna start this one with Easton. 825 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,520 Speaker 6: Cynthia Rivo is thirty. 826 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:15,839 Speaker 4: Three, okay, Tanya thirty five, Becca thirty four. Another one 827 00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 4: for Tanya thirty eight today. Wow, so we just did 828 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,879 Speaker 4: ten celebrities. Tony, you got six, Becca three Easton one 829 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:26,359 Speaker 4: way to go town. Very nice. It's a celebrity birthday game. 830 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,400 Speaker 3: You're the nine baby, You're ready. 831 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:29,520 Speaker 1: You're ready for that. 832 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 3: That's right. 833 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 1: Well, on that note, a Tania victory to start the 834 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,799 Speaker 1: year with the year of the nine. 835 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:40,239 Speaker 3: Right, that's the. 836 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 1: End of the episode. 837 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:41,719 Speaker 3: Gotta go. 838 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:42,200 Speaker 4: I'm afraid. 839 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:43,000 Speaker 1: So it's afraid. 840 00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:48,759 Speaker 3: So what I'm saying now to continued, we love you 841 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,000 Speaker 3: some enjoying ch