1 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the 2 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,159 Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you 3 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe 4 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with 5 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how 6 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business. 7 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember 8 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering 9 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from 10 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave 11 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beat. 12 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 2: Hi Cheeky. 13 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 3: First and foremost, just thank you for your podcast. Thank 14 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 3: you for everything that you talk about. It has helped 15 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 3: me so much within the last three years that I 16 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 3: went through so many things. I am a new listener, 17 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 3: but I think I've listened to all of your podcasts, 18 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 3: like within the last six months. I'm a huge fan 19 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,960 Speaker 3: of your mom Jenny since like twenty ten. I love 20 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 3: her music, I love what she was about. My question 21 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,759 Speaker 3: to you is, every time it seems that I get 22 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 3: a new partner, my family always has something to say 23 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 3: about them, like they're not about you like that, they're 24 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 3: just using you, they're not into you like the what 25 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 3: would you do in this situation? Because it just makes 26 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 3: me push the people away. And I'm also self sabotager, 27 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 3: so if I see a teenc red flag, I'll cut 28 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:46,400 Speaker 3: it off. Thank you so much for this opportunity. And yeah, thank. 29 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: You, oh Franky. First of all, thank you so much. 30 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 1: I'm so happy to hear that we have new listeners, 31 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: and you listen to almost all my episodes, so I'm 32 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: really really excited. Thank you so much. Welcome to Dear 33 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: Cheeky's and Cheeky's and chill Well. In regards to your question, 34 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: it's tough because these people obviously in your life love 35 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: you and want the best for you. I do feel 36 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: and I've learned this the hard way with my siblings. 37 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 1: I just like to let people do their thing. I 38 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 1: say this all the time, live and let live. If 39 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: there is something like a huge red flag that maybe 40 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: one of my siblings is missing and I see it, 41 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: I will bring it to their attention because I don't 42 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 1: want to feel like, oh I saw it and I 43 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: didn't say anything. And I can prevent them from being 44 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 1: hurt or going through a bad experience. But for the 45 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: most part, it is important to let people just learn 46 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: on their own. If they're constantly doing this to you, 47 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,119 Speaker 1: I think that it's not fair because then that plan 48 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: suceeding your head and it probably like makes you wonder 49 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: and then you start changing your attitude with the person 50 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: that you're with. It just starts a lot of issues. 51 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: I think that you need to put a stop to 52 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: it if it's affecting you, because you need to go 53 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: through this process and get to know these people and 54 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: figure it out yourself more than anything. It all depends 55 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 1: who's telling you too. But I definitely would tell them, hey, 56 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: I'm sorry if you don't have anything nice to say, 57 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it, and you're gonna have 58 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: to be okay with accepting if something does go wrong 59 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: that you didn't take their advice or didn't listen to 60 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: what they had to say. So it goes both ways. 61 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: I would just if I were you, just let them know, Hey, 62 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 1: I'm dating this person, I'm really into them. Please just 63 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: keep your comments to yourself. I don't want to hear 64 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: right now unless it's something like really crazy that you 65 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: need to know. But I also feel that you need 66 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: to give the relationships a little bit more of an 67 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: opportunity and a little bit more of a chance. Let 68 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: them kind of grow. And you guys have to get 69 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: to know each other and not just like the first 70 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 1: thing you want to run, because then you're not. A 71 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: relationship isn't perfect. You're gonna have to work through it. 72 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: And I was a runner. So I'm telling you you 73 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: just have to know not everything is gonna be peaches 74 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: and cream all the time. It all depends on the situation, 75 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,720 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But yeah, talk to your 76 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: loved ones. Okay, it all depends who what's coming from too. 77 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: Just think about that, all right, guys. So our next 78 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 1: question comes from Julie Hi Cheeking. 79 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,480 Speaker 2: This is Julie again. I wanted to give an update 80 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 2: on my whole cheating slash biological situation. I did mention 81 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 2: to him that he may or may not be the 82 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 2: biological father of our first born. That surprisingly went very 83 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 2: well and he said, no matter what the results are, 84 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 2: he is always going to be his father. So that 85 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 2: is a plus. As far as the whole cheating situation, 86 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 2: I am trying to leave, I am trying to be 87 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 2: my own person. I'm trying to take care of myself 88 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,599 Speaker 2: and my kids before anything else. The only problem is 89 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 2: is he will not let me. He claims he is 90 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 2: a different man only because he is now realizing that 91 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 2: I do not want this some more. And I'm not 92 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 2: trying to have any type of court involved or anything. 93 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 2: I'm not that type of person. But I do want 94 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 2: the end of this, and he just won't let me. 95 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 2: What do you suggest I do? Should I do court 96 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 2: restraining or type things involved? Or should I not? I 97 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 2: want it to be stivil. I wanted to be mature. 98 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 2: I wanted to be in peace. I want to be 99 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 2: in peace. So I need your advice on what I 100 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 2: should and should not do because the cheating would definitely 101 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 2: not stop and I would never believe him ever again. 102 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: Okay, so Julie, I do remember you. Thank you for 103 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:58,039 Speaker 1: updating us. I'm glad that he took it well. That 104 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 1: makes me happy. I think he's thinking of the child, 105 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: which I think is amazing. If the cheating has not stopped, 106 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: if I remember correctly, you had said that he was 107 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: cheating with both female and males. If it has not stopped, 108 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: then you definitely need to get away. And I know 109 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,840 Speaker 1: that he's not letting you. I don't think a restraining 110 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,599 Speaker 1: order is going to work because the only way they 111 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: grant you a restraining order is if they're being physical 112 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: with you, if they threaten you in some way. So 113 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: I don't think that that will hold up in court. 114 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: Just FYI on that. But I think you need to 115 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: have someone that he respects. I don't know if it's 116 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,480 Speaker 1: a parent, your mom, your dad, a brother, someone that 117 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:44,359 Speaker 1: he knows he can't mess with and he respects to 118 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: help you get out, say hey, I came to pick 119 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: up Julie and the kids. Because if you get a 120 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,600 Speaker 1: restraining order too, then you're like, he's not gonna be 121 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: able to see the kids, So you have to like 122 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: think about that too. You know, hopefully he's a good dad. 123 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: I don't remember that part. I don't know if if 124 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: you told me that he was a good dad, but 125 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: he's definitely not being a good part. And it seems 126 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: like you're done. You just don't know how to get out, 127 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: which my suggestion is that find someone that he respects 128 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: or get the authorities involved. The only thing with that 129 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: is that it could like and in the sense of like, hey, 130 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 1: I want to get out of my home he's not 131 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 1: letting me. Can you guys just escort me out that 132 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: sort of thing, but make sure you know you have 133 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 1: a place to go and get all your ducks in 134 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: a row before you do all of that. But I 135 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: don't think of restraining order. Just maybe someone to escort you, 136 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: someone to help you, your dad, your mom, someone in 137 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: your life that you know he will like, that'll stand 138 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: up to him, especially if you're not happy, and especially 139 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: if he's still cheating. Girl like, no one deserves that, 140 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: no one. So I hope that you know now you 141 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: know it sounds like you do. So I'm really praying, 142 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: we're all praying here that you're able to get out 143 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: of this very soon safely, you and the kids. Okay, guys. 144 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: Our last question comes from an anonymous listener. 145 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 4: Here we go, Heichiki's I just want to say that 146 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 4: I love you. I listened to you from Washington. Hope 147 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 4: you could come to a concert up here. I love 148 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 4: all your family, your mom, your siblings. I listen to 149 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 4: everybody's podcast, even the Mac Effect. The reason I'm messaging 150 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 4: you is because I needed your opinion. I'm in a 151 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 4: six year relationship. Everything's going great. My partner and I 152 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 4: have a two year old son. He's been there for 153 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 4: my children too. The issue or thing that has come 154 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 4: up is my eight year old son has a best friend. 155 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 4: Turns out, Mundo that his best friend is my partner's 156 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 4: ex girlfriend's son. There's never been an issue at all, 157 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 4: but yesterday my son got home and said that his 158 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 4: friend told him your stepdad is my dad, which is 159 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 4: not true at all. But then my Bussolas Benita, like, okay, 160 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 4: what if the older son is why would the mom 161 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 4: even say that? The kids have no clue whatsoever? What's 162 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 4: going on? I did talk to my partner. He said 163 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,560 Speaker 4: that can't possibly be true. They've been broken up for 164 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 4: twelve years, and now I'm trying to figure out the 165 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 4: math of the older kid, what year he was born. 166 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 4: Your opinion or support would help. I love you, love 167 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 4: all of Youstavenda. 168 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: Hmm, okay, anonymous listener, you sounded really sexy in your voice. Respectfully, 169 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 1: it's very like cute. Okay, so your question, okay, wait, 170 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 1: so your son's friend is your husband's or your man's 171 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 1: ex girlfriend's son and they're friends. Okay, just trying to 172 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,679 Speaker 1: put it all together. I think if you already talk 173 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: to your man, and he's telling you there's no way, 174 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: then say okay, then why is he saying this? I 175 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: think maybe the mom is trying to cause issues. I 176 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: don't know, but it feels like she's probably trying to 177 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: disrupt something in your relationship, and I think you should 178 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: catch her on her bs. I think you should go 179 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 1: straight to her and be like, hey, I don't want problems, 180 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: but also I don't want my son to be confused. 181 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: And if you are feeding this information to your son 182 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: and then he's telling my son, it's causing confusion. It's 183 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: causing a lot of emotional turmoil that isn't cool for 184 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 1: both of our children. So is this true or is 185 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: a little boy just saying things? Which I don't think 186 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 1: he's just saying things. He heard it somewhere. So I 187 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: think you need to just straight up talk to the 188 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: mom and maybe with not the kids around, and say, okay, well, 189 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 1: if you really feel that this is true, then let's 190 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,599 Speaker 1: do a DNA test. Or hopefully she says no, I 191 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 1: don't know where he heard it from, blah blah blah blah. 192 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 1: But I think you should just nip it in the 193 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 1: butt and just go straight to her and tell her hey, 194 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,079 Speaker 1: where is this coming from? Without causing issues, you don't 195 00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 1: want any problems. But then again, this is your son, 196 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,200 Speaker 1: these are his feelings. This is confusing, you know, for him. 197 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,439 Speaker 1: So it's not really like trying to cause issues. You're 198 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,840 Speaker 1: just trying to really get clarity for your child, especially 199 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: if for men saying it's not true, and so that 200 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: these things don't continue to happen, you need to go 201 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,959 Speaker 1: straight to her. I think I would be bitch, what's up? 202 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? 203 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 1: All right, guys, that's it. We're not gonna fight on 204 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: Dear Cheekys. You know, I hope I was able to 205 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: help you guys out with you know, my my answers, 206 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 1: and I love you guys, and I have the best 207 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,439 Speaker 1: interest in my heart for you. And thank you everyone 208 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: for listening to Dear Cheekys and for watching. We appreciate 209 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,679 Speaker 1: you very much and we will catch you on the 210 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,199 Speaker 1: next episode of Dear Cheeky's. If you have any questions 211 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: of your own and you'd like to, you know, have 212 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: me answer them, go ahead and go on speakpipe dot 213 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: com slash cheeks in Chill podcast. That is speakpipe dot 214 00:11:52,400 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: com slash cheekis in Chill podcast I Love you guys. 215 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network. 216 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Micaeldura Podcasts and follow me 217 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,680 Speaker 1: Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s. For 218 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:15,079 Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 219 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check 220 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: us out on YouTube.