Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rep An iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, everybody,
Speaker 1: we are scrubbing in scrub a dub dub today. We
Speaker 1: have someone who's going to really help clear the air
Speaker 1: on all this producer stuff because we have one of
Speaker 1: the executive producers of all iHeartRadio podcasts. That's right, and
Speaker 1: she is Danielle Romo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so happy to be scrubbing in guys.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is the first time, like officially, officially.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've been on a couple times, but not like this.
Speaker 4: So we're gonna set you up for everybody that's listening.
Speaker 4: So you started as a promo assistant iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: What year was that, twenty seventeen, And actually technically I
Speaker 2: was an intern for Ryan's production company before that, Ryan Productions. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that was kind of how it all happened.
Speaker 4: Then you went to NBC Universal and then you came
Speaker 4: back to iHeart to oversee all the podcasts. You married
Speaker 4: John in October of twenty eighteen.
Speaker 2: John. It's funny. This is actually really funny because his
Speaker 2: Instagram handle is j. Yeah, it's John.
Speaker 1: I knew it was John, and I'm looking at this
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I have said the wrong name.
Speaker 2: If you say Ja, if you say Jay, he thinks
Speaker 2: you're cool because his entire family calls him j Oh.
Speaker 2: So it's like it's you're kind of You're kind of in.
Speaker 3: I was like, I have called him the wrong name.
Speaker 4: So okay, people call Robbie Ryan all the time because
Speaker 4: his instagram is r y like r Yadigar. It's like Rya,
Speaker 4: so everybody thinks his name is Ryan, which is very funny.
Speaker 4: So they got married in twenty eighteen, two thousand. This
Speaker 4: year marks twelve years together. And then you guys gave
Speaker 4: first gave birth to your first child, Mateo on October first,
Speaker 4: twenty twenty three. And the whole reason why I wanted
Speaker 4: to have you on the podcast is because to me,
Speaker 4: I find the idea of maternity leave so wildly fascinating.
Speaker 4: I think, especially when for like a career woman like you,
Speaker 4: who you work so hard, you work day in, day out,
Speaker 4: and you've been like so career driven, and then you
Speaker 4: have a baby and then what you just like turn
Speaker 4: off all your emails and you just go.
Speaker 2: Into like this abyss and then you just have to come.
Speaker 3: Back to it.
Speaker 2: Like I just the whole thing.
Speaker 4: I remember when you came back from matruly, but I
Speaker 4: wanted to ask you all these questions, and I was like,
Speaker 4: I think this could be an interesting conversation on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, for sure, you just like re emerge back
Speaker 2: into your old life, or at least try to. But
Speaker 2: I remember Tanya came to visit me maybe when Matteo
Speaker 2: was like eight weeks old, and she's like, tell me everything.
Speaker 2: She like looked into my soul and she was like,
Speaker 2: how was it? What happened in the delivery? Like asking
Speaker 2: me all these questions. I was like, Tanya, another day,
Speaker 2: It's just another day. Today's the day. Ye wait.
Speaker 1: So I've never even thought about the idea that you
Speaker 1: go on maternity, Like do you just turn everything off?
Speaker 5: You have to?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, and it's not like my choice. So literally
Speaker 2: the before you like before you deliver, you have to
Speaker 2: give hr like a date of your last day, if
Speaker 2: you even know what that is. Some people don't, obviously,
Speaker 2: but once they find out that you're taking your maternity
Speaker 2: day or leave starting this day the very that very day,
Speaker 2: they completely shut off all your emails, so like you
Speaker 2: have no access to anything. Yeah, you're just cut off
Speaker 2: and then they tell you your coworker or they tell your
Speaker 2: coworkers and your boss that they can't reach out to
Speaker 2: you and about work or anything like that. And hopefully
Speaker 2: some people like abide by that.
Speaker 5: But but it's kind of weird too because a lot
Speaker 5: of for a lot of people, your social circle is
Speaker 5: your coworkers totally silence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like our boss, she was like, how am I
Speaker 2: not going to be able to talk to you? But
Speaker 2: I think they do that from like a legality perspective,
Speaker 2: but but yeah, I mean, uh yeah. So the day
Speaker 2: that I went on attorney leave, which was on a Monday,
Speaker 2: and I delivered him that Saturday, I had no access
Speaker 2: to my emails.
Speaker 6: That was it.
Speaker 2: Bye.
Speaker 5: And I remember this with Sicini and with Patty. Oh
Speaker 5: and so we come back, how many emails did you have?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Talk about like the day I came
Speaker 2: back from attorney leave and I turned on my emails,
Speaker 2: I just instant sweat, like, yeah, I'm one of those
Speaker 2: people that I don't leave. Like a notification like the
Speaker 2: red flag gives me the worst anxiety. It was upwards
Speaker 2: of like ten K plus, which is a big deal
Speaker 2: for me. And so I just went to October November
Speaker 2: and just deleted everything from those two months. I didn't
Speaker 2: even look at them. There was no way I was
Speaker 2: going to be able to and I just focused on
Speaker 2: December and January. And that's kind of how I dealt
Speaker 2: with that.
Speaker 3: One of my emails, I have thirty two thousand.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, instant panic like that would drive me bonkers.
Speaker 3: I don't even order to again. I'm too far gone.
Speaker 3: I just let it in crime.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so okay, I want you to be like super
Speaker 4: super honest, because these are thoughts that have like gone
Speaker 4: on in my head. When you obviously after you have birth,
Speaker 4: you just care about your baby. Were you even thinking
Speaker 4: about work or like I think a lot of women
Speaker 4: I think, and I know some women in the industry
Speaker 4: that have gone on maternleave, they feel like they're not
Speaker 4: threatened that they're not going to get their job back,
Speaker 4: but like scared that whoever's replacing them is doing a
Speaker 4: better job.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, totally. All that goes goes through your brain.
Speaker 2: I think the wild and crazy thing is you have
Speaker 2: your baby and then that week after and I don't
Speaker 2: know how it is for different states, but this is
Speaker 2: just for California. When you go on maternity leave. The
Speaker 2: way you get paid is buy through state disability, and
Speaker 2: you can't file for it until you have your baby,
Speaker 2: and you have to do it within ten days of
Speaker 2: having your baby. So it's like I think it's ten,
Speaker 2: Either it's seven or ten. So literally, you have your
Speaker 2: baby and the first the next day is like, oh, shoot,
Speaker 2: I got a file for state. Like literally that's what
Speaker 2: you have to do, and you have to get all
Speaker 2: these papers from your doctor in the hospital and like
Speaker 2: all this stuff to submit in order to get paid
Speaker 2: or you know, to get money and survive. So literally
Speaker 2: the first week after you're trying to deal with that
Speaker 2: and like get all your paperwork together and like send
Speaker 2: it into the state and like deal with all that
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. And then after that you just you know,
Speaker 2: are dealing with a baby. I would say I was
Speaker 2: really really pleasantly surprised with myself because, like you said,
Speaker 2: I for my whole life, I've been such a career
Speaker 2: focused person. I thought it was gonna be really really
Speaker 2: hard for me to step away and not be so involved.
Speaker 2: But I was pleasantly surprised that like my priority completely shifted,
Speaker 2: Like I didn't even think about work to be completely
Speaker 2: honest with you. I had this little thing that was
Speaker 2: taking my attention for twenty four hours a day, seven
Speaker 2: days a week, and I would say like eight weeks in,
Speaker 2: I slowly started to emerge out of the fog and
Speaker 2: be like, Okay, what's going on, Like what's happening? On'scrubbing in?
Speaker 2: You know, like let me listen to a podcast. You know,
Speaker 2: you slowly start to emerge from the fog. But that
Speaker 2: those first eight weeks at least for me, were just
Speaker 2: hyper focused on trying to figure out this new reality
Speaker 2: for myself. You know.
Speaker 3: So what was it like when you come back?
Speaker 1: You you open your email and you have all these
Speaker 1: emails and you're going through it and then it's like
Speaker 1: back to work and you I still have this tiny
Speaker 1: human that you're, yeah, having to focus.
Speaker 3: On twenty four seven So what's the balance.
Speaker 2: So I will say, you know, everyone's everyone's different, because
Speaker 2: some people take longer to get back to work. Some
Speaker 2: people want to get back into work right away. I
Speaker 2: took just over three and a half months of maternity leave,
Speaker 2: and that felt like really good for me. I had
Speaker 2: friends before tell me you have to take six months
Speaker 2: or some friends like you you know, you're gonna want
Speaker 2: to go back faster or whatever. It's just so different
Speaker 2: for everybody. For me, that was a really good time
Speaker 2: and I'm so fortunate that I found somebody who I
Speaker 2: really love to take care of him during the week,
Speaker 2: and that has been such a blessing. And the best
Speaker 2: thing to come from COVID for me is the fact
Speaker 2: that it gets to work from home. Yeah, yeah, so
Speaker 2: I have I have like an office at my house,
Speaker 2: and you know, the nanny is taking care of him
Speaker 2: during the day. But like before each nap, I go
Speaker 2: in and just like, hey, the day I'm here, I
Speaker 2: love you give him acause like you know, like just
Speaker 2: show him I'm still there and then go back to work,
Speaker 2: you know, So I like get to see him all
Speaker 2: the time. And I was and also once I'm done
Speaker 2: with work, I I'm there. You know, I don't have
Speaker 2: to drive home an hour, So I know, I'm like
Speaker 2: super fortunate in that. But I was talking to my mom,
Speaker 2: and my mom she was working in downtown LA when
Speaker 2: I was born, and I live in where my parents
Speaker 2: lived in the valley. It would take her an hour
Speaker 2: and a half to get home from work, and she
Speaker 2: would get home at six thirty at night and dinner
Speaker 2: and go to bed, you know, and I'm just like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm so lucky that I'm able to
Speaker 2: work from home. So I think, I think for me,
Speaker 2: going back to work was very much welcomed. I was
Speaker 2: excited to not talk about poopy diapers. I was excited
Speaker 2: to like get a little bit of myself back and
Speaker 2: you know, just exercise a different part of my brain
Speaker 2: that I hadn't been for the last three four months.
Speaker 2: So for me, I was really excited to go back
Speaker 2: to work. But also I think if I wasn't working
Speaker 2: from home, I would be an absolute basket case. Even
Speaker 2: just being in a different room, I'm still looking at
Speaker 2: the freaking security cameras and like his like little monitor
Speaker 2: in his room, Like Okay, he's there, He's alive, you know.
Speaker 2: Like it's just as a mom, your focus like just
Speaker 2: is always. He's never not in my brain, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. Like even when I'm going out, like
Speaker 2: to dinner or something like that. If I if I
Speaker 2: am able to go on a date night or something
Speaker 2: like John has told me many times, put your phone away,
Speaker 2: and like.
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure he's still there.
Speaker 2: That's it, you know, but it just never goes away.
Speaker 2: Mark this many years later.
Speaker 5: I'm going to college next year, but I'm looking at
Speaker 5: Life three sixty making sure she's okay. We're supposed to be, Yeah,
Speaker 5: for sure?
Speaker 3: Crazy is Life three sixty?
Speaker 5: Uh it's a it's an app, right, Yeah, it's a
Speaker 5: helicopter parent app that allows you to track your kids. Mike,
Speaker 5: I can get my kids and find my iPhone because
Speaker 5: we have a family plan with Apple. But Life three
Speaker 5: sixty tells you how fast they're going in their car.
Speaker 5: It alerts you when they arrive at their destiny Life
Speaker 5: to their battery Life on their phone. Oh as a
Speaker 5: eight percent. But have her charge your phone? Yeah, all that.
Speaker 3: Stuffy toney as well to have this on Robbie.
Speaker 2: Could you imagine I'm like, slow down, babe. It's creepy
Speaker 2: until it's not right, Like, you know, it's creepy that
Speaker 2: I'm looking at my phone all the time and just
Speaker 2: looking at the monitor. But also it's what if, you know,
Speaker 2: like what if an earthquake happens again and you want
Speaker 2: to make sure your kid's okay? Okay, I want to
Speaker 2: talk about the actual birth.
Speaker 4: Okay, I know what do you want to know, like
Speaker 4: you're gonna tell it to us, Like, yeah, this.
Speaker 5: Feels like something we should come back for.
Speaker 6: Okay, yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: All right, we're back. So Tanya is ready to get into.
Speaker 4: I want to know the nitty gritty because I feel
Speaker 4: like every time I watch somebody on Instagram that's like
Speaker 4: having a baby, it's like what's in my hospital bag?
Speaker 4: And it's like these cute little outfits and like this
Speaker 4: lipstick and stuff, And I'm like this doesn't seem to me,
Speaker 4: like it's actually the reality of what's going on. So like,
Speaker 4: give us the real deal, like what are you packing?
Speaker 4: Like what did you need to pack for the hospital?
Speaker 4: Did you rip like all the stume? I yeah, no,
Speaker 4: I'll tell it all to you.
Speaker 2: So I I kind of went into birth a little
Speaker 2: half like half backwards, like I was crossing my the
Speaker 2: thought of labor petrified me me too, and I was
Speaker 2: crossing my fingers that my son would be breached so
Speaker 2: that I can have a C section. Like I was like,
Speaker 2: please don't want to see sign. No, I know exactly
Speaker 2: that's my point, but for me, I was just like please,
Speaker 2: like please make me have to have a sea section
Speaker 2: like that, I just wanted to go in and know
Speaker 2: the day that I was going to deliver and that
Speaker 2: I'm having surgery and all that kind of stuff. And
Speaker 2: I do know that that is like a treacherous path
Speaker 2: like that the women that have gone through C sections.
Speaker 2: It is a recovery and a recovery and a half.
Speaker 2: It's just so gnarly. But for me, in my OCD brain, like,
Speaker 2: I liked the fact of Okay, this is the date
Speaker 2: that you go in and you know whatever. So three
Speaker 2: weeks before my due date, my doctor was like, if
Speaker 2: he doesn't flip by this time, then we're gonna have
Speaker 2: to have a sea section. I was like, okay, great, like,
Speaker 2: no problem, sounds good. I go into that appointment and
Speaker 2: he freaking flipped and she was like, you can have
Speaker 2: a natural brother, so excited. Isn't this amazing? I just
Speaker 2: looked at her. I was like, oh my god, no,
Speaker 2: like this ugh, But looking back on it, go So
Speaker 2: I went into I went into labor being completely terrified.
Speaker 2: And it didn't help that he was almost a week late,
Speaker 2: so I had like all these I was just ready
Speaker 2: for it to just happen already, and just kept waiting,
Speaker 2: kept waiting, kept waiting, kept waiting. When it came to
Speaker 2: the actual labor, it was it was gnarly. I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna lie like it was the whole like contractions and
Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff. I went into the hospital
Speaker 2: and my nurse was she was like, okay, well you're,
Speaker 2: you know, just under four centimeters dilated. Do you want epidurl?
Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, I want epidol, Like give
Speaker 2: it to me now. So she's like okay, great. She's
Speaker 2: like it takes about thirty minutes for them to come,
Speaker 2: you know, come to your room, so just hang in there,
Speaker 2: like okay. She comes back thirty minutes later and she
Speaker 2: is literally scrubbed head to like she's in scrubs head
Speaker 2: to toe, like hairnet on, like the full thing. And
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, she's gonna tell me
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to have an emergency C section, Like
Speaker 2: why is she? She literally looked like she was in hasmatsu.
Speaker 2: And she was like, okay, Danielle, a little bit of
Speaker 2: bad news. You're gonna have to wait for an epidol.
Speaker 2: I was like, what do you mean. She's like, we
Speaker 2: have two emergencies on the floor right now. That the
Speaker 2: anteziologist has to cater to so you're gonna have to
Speaker 2: wait like you're not an emergency. So I waited two
Speaker 2: hours for an epidurl and for our listeners that are
Speaker 2: listening right now that have gone through this. I went
Speaker 2: from four centimeters to just about six centimeters without an epidurol,
Speaker 2: and that is gnarly like women that have had that
Speaker 2: have natural births without any kind of drugs or anything
Speaker 2: like that. Like I tip my hat off to you.
Speaker 2: You are miracle women in my eyes, like, oh my goodness.
Speaker 2: But the second I got the epidural, I was flying high.
Speaker 3: Like it was great.
Speaker 2: I was cracking jokes with any nurse that came in,
Speaker 2: like I was just like, today's the best day ever.
Speaker 2: I also helped that My antetysiologist was like the cutest ever.
Speaker 3: I was like, lovely, he was really cute.
Speaker 2: On I was like, he's so cute.
Speaker 3: Did you feel the epidural needle?
Speaker 2: Honestly I didn't. I didn't, but I think because I
Speaker 2: was having such bad contractions that nothing was more painful
Speaker 2: than that. People feel that needle. It's like this big,
Speaker 2: it's huge, it's massive. I didn't feel anything.
Speaker 5: That tells you how much pain. Yeah, the contractions are
Speaker 5: that you don't feel the need.
Speaker 2: Didn't feel anything nothing.
Speaker 5: Why did you go to the hospital in the first place.
Speaker 5: Did your water break?
Speaker 2: Oh? So I had a scheduled induction, and so our
Speaker 2: plan was always to go to the hospital that day,
Speaker 2: but I ended up going into labor that morning of
Speaker 2: my of my scheduled induction date. So yeah, that's.
Speaker 5: Why you just feel the contractions.
Speaker 2: No, it didn't break.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 5: By the way, just a side little story. My wife
Speaker 5: when she got her epidural, it was an older doctor
Speaker 5: training a younger doctor and how to do an epidural,
Speaker 5: and it didn't take.
Speaker 2: That's no, you don't want anybody training to do any training.
Speaker 3: I don't want training.
Speaker 5: We thought people know what they're doing. We've never had
Speaker 5: a baby before, and so it didn't work, and so everything.
Speaker 5: They came back and did it again later, but very
Speaker 5: quickly after that, they we went into the they removed
Speaker 5: us from wherever we were, a new different room. She
Speaker 5: felt everything, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, dang, dang,
Speaker 5: is right.
Speaker 2: I'd be so mad.
Speaker 5: She wasn't happy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but some people that get the epidural, it just
Speaker 2: doesn't work. On them either like that is a very
Speaker 2: real thing because they're like so hard like they can
Speaker 2: take it, or it just doesn't hit the right nerve.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but but yeah, like in Mark's wife's.
Speaker 1: Case, can you describe what a contraction feels like? Where
Speaker 1: does it where?
Speaker 2: Where?
Speaker 3: Like where all does it hurt?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: It depends what stage you're in. In the beginning, it's
Speaker 2: like your cramps times ten, and then they just get worse,
Speaker 2: and then your back gets involved. And when your back
Speaker 2: gets involved, it's like all hell breaks list. That's when
Speaker 2: it hurts so bad because it's not only that cramp
Speaker 2: that you're you're used to feeling in like your uterus,
Speaker 2: but it's also your entire back like just ill think
Speaker 2: of like a muscle spasm, like like all of that
Speaker 2: in your lower back, in your in your uterus, just
Speaker 2: all of that area.
Speaker 3: And it's because the baby's like coming down and.
Speaker 2: Yeah and putting so much pressure so weak yeah weak.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Like did you put when you when it
Speaker 1: happened where you're like, I just did that.
Speaker 2: So there's a couple of funny things. Because I had
Speaker 2: my mom and my husband with me, and I love
Speaker 2: my mom so much. And then she listens, I'm saying
Speaker 2: this with like all all love in my heart. I
Speaker 2: love you so much and thank you so much for
Speaker 2: being there for me. She was like, I almost cussed
Speaker 2: her out. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: She was.
Speaker 2: I had one guideline for both of them, like don't
Speaker 2: look below, like, don't look you're paying attention to me,
Speaker 2: don't look down there, like please the doctor. She the
Speaker 2: doctor was like, oh, your baby has hair. My mom
Speaker 2: literally was like, oh my god, and just like totally
Speaker 2: look down there. I'm like, oh, so that was that
Speaker 2: was strike number one. Strike number two. She was like,
Speaker 2: this was like game time, like pushing hard. A baby
Speaker 2: is almost out, and I look over my mom's texting
Speaker 2: and I'm like, Yolanda, who.
Speaker 6: Are you texting?
Speaker 2: It's more important than me right now. And She's like
Speaker 2: everyone's just asking me what's going on. I just want
Speaker 2: to give them updates.
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't care about them.
Speaker 2: Put your phone away, like you're not allowed to have
Speaker 2: your phone. And then after that it was fine. But
Speaker 2: she was in charge of taking photos and oh my god, John,
Speaker 2: when we look at my camera, roll, John and I
Speaker 2: are just we just cry laughing because They're the most unflattering.
Speaker 3: In the entire world. I look like I'm.
Speaker 2: Miserable, which I was, and about to die, like it
Speaker 2: was just but at the end of the day, like
Speaker 2: I'm so I'm so happy I had my mom there because, yeah,
Speaker 2: when I got the epidol or right before, cause you're
Speaker 2: allowed to like keep pressing for the epidol, I think
Speaker 2: I got to the point where I had too much
Speaker 2: in me and I just started like shaking uncontrollably, and
Speaker 2: that was really scary. And John was like, is she okay?
Speaker 2: She having a seizure? Like I just like had no
Speaker 2: control of my limbs, and that happened to my mom.
Speaker 2: So my mom was like, this is just reaction to
Speaker 2: the epidural. Everything's fine. This happened to me. So, you know,
Speaker 2: having having her there who had gone through it was
Speaker 2: very comforting.
Speaker 3: Break me up shaking and be like, what's happening to me?
Speaker 2: Am I And you also like you can feel, but
Speaker 2: you can't feel at the same time, you know, so
Speaker 2: you're like, all these limbs that I can't feel are
Speaker 2: just shaking, and you're just you know, you're just waiting
Speaker 2: for this little kid to pop out. But yeah, damn,
Speaker 2: I know, I know. But then he came and he
Speaker 2: was luckily like no complications. That the one thing that
Speaker 2: was scary, you know, right before, right before you're about
Speaker 2: to push, the doctor's like okay, you know, like a
Speaker 2: couple more pushes and he's there, and all these like
Speaker 2: nurses just come rushing in and there's like these like
Speaker 2: eight strangers in the room that you've never seen before,
Speaker 2: just looking at your huha and just like standing by
Speaker 2: just nodding their heads, and you know, they're there just
Speaker 2: in case anything happens to you know, check all the
Speaker 2: things like the breathing and his vitals and all that
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. But then yeah, once the baby comes out,
Speaker 2: they that was just like a complete rush. He was
Speaker 2: plopped right on top of my chest and again I'm
Speaker 2: shaking so bad that like I'm just like trying to
Speaker 2: hold on but also completely enamored that like yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: and and I just remember don being like he has
Speaker 2: your feet and like, oh my god, he has my feet,
Speaker 2: you know, just like the weirdest things like you just
Speaker 2: start to notice. And that was just surreal because there's
Speaker 2: all these just people running around like just making sure,
Speaker 2: you know, like one nurse was like sucking mucus out
Speaker 2: of his nose and another one was wiping them off
Speaker 2: while all this while like on top of my chest.
Speaker 2: Are they doing to you? So your legs are so open? Yeah,
Speaker 2: your legs are still open. You still have to deliver
Speaker 2: your placenta. So like that was another push that I like,
Speaker 2: within twenty minutes, you usually deliver your placenta, so you're
Speaker 2: not done with your birth at all. You have to
Speaker 2: push off. Yeah, do you guys want to see what
Speaker 2: it looks like?
Speaker 5: It hurt?
Speaker 2: It doesn't. That doesn't hurt because it's just this like
Speaker 2: slimy thing. Do you eat that? Or people eat that? Right?
Speaker 3: People do?
Speaker 2: They like? Yeah, they like dry it out. I didn't know,
Speaker 2: but I did.
Speaker 5: I'm so curious how it tastes.
Speaker 2: Well, I can tell you that you put it in pills.
Speaker 5: Oh you don't just like it up.
Speaker 2: And I'm having placenta. No, it's like these like little
Speaker 2: capsules that they can like make turn it into and stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But like but to that point, you're you know, you
Speaker 2: have you have this like baby on top of you
Speaker 2: and you're trying to, you know, just understand what just
Speaker 2: happened to you and while this is all happening, your
Speaker 2: doctor is still delivering your placenta. If you tore, they're
Speaker 2: stitching you up. And also like you have a nurse
Speaker 2: that's just like digging into your like into your uterus
Speaker 2: and like just taking all the because they have to
Speaker 2: get all the stuff out, so like they're just like
Speaker 2: basically like, oh, my massaging, but really it's like somebody
Speaker 2: is like really pushing into your apnom to get all
Speaker 2: the stuff out. You felt it, it was like super yeah,
Speaker 2: it was you know, super like it was a lot
Speaker 2: of pressure. But I was just so overwhelmed. Like I
Speaker 2: have this one nurse like really digging into my stomach,
Speaker 2: my doctor stitching me up. I have the baby on
Speaker 2: top of me. They're trying to like make me breastfeed
Speaker 2: the baby, you know, just start that. They're just checking
Speaker 2: his vitals, they're checking my vitals. Like all this stuff
Speaker 2: is happening. It's a big tornado of just chaos, but
Speaker 2: it's also so beautiful at the same time. You know,
Speaker 2: at that at that moment, you're holding your baby, like right,
Speaker 2: you know, that is so wild.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you get home, By the way, your faces
Speaker 1: aren't great either.
Speaker 5: You might actually have to do this one day.
Speaker 2: I will do this very soon.
Speaker 4: So that's why I'm like asking all the questions because
Speaker 4: I don't believe what I see on Instagram.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and oh my gosh, like when Sophia Richie announced
Speaker 2: that she was pregnant and had that photo, Sho'm like, God,
Speaker 2: bless her, she looks so beautiful. I did not look
Speaker 2: like that a day in my pregnancy.
Speaker 3: You did, we know, were gorgeous.
Speaker 2: But like what you see on Instagram. No, I mean even,
Speaker 2: like back to your question about the hospital bag, I followed.
Speaker 2: I followed like so many influencers that had all these
Speaker 2: things where you should put your hospital bag, and I
Speaker 2: did it, did it all. I even took a pink
Speaker 2: Kimmel and salt lamp because I heard that it's like which,
Speaker 2: by the way, for everyone listening, that was probably my
Speaker 2: favorite thing I packed. I would actually highly encourage that
Speaker 2: because instead of you know, those like bright white lights
Speaker 2: in the room being on, we had like a pink
Speaker 2: glow in our room.
Speaker 4: It was nice, wow, relaxing. It was very relaxing. Sounds
Speaker 4: so unnecessary, it was amazing. It was honestly probably the
Speaker 4: best thing I packed. I did not touch any like
Speaker 4: even they.
Speaker 2: Have a going home outfit for your baby, going home
Speaker 2: outfit for mom. I said, screw the going outfit for
Speaker 2: my mom. For me, I'm just wearing the most comfortable
Speaker 2: shirt I can find. And same with my baby. I
Speaker 2: didn't even put the baby in a going home outfit.
Speaker 2: I just like ditched all of that, just all of it.
Speaker 2: Just get us home, get us home, Get us home.
Speaker 3: What was your comfort?
Speaker 1: What was your comfort like thing that you did while
Speaker 1: you were home, So like when he was sleeping and
Speaker 1: you were resting, were you watching TV shows?
Speaker 3: Were you reading? What were you doing?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I was. I'm a Bravo freak and
Speaker 2: I was behind months Like I think I just slowly
Speaker 2: started watching shows again. Honestly, No, nothing really, I like,
Speaker 2: I can't there wasn't there was like tvOS watching or
Speaker 2: anything like that. It's kind of crazy. You're like sucked
Speaker 2: into this vortex where twenty four hours a day is
Speaker 2: is you're doing something you've never done before, you know,
Speaker 2: so like whether it's breastfeeding or changing a diaper or
Speaker 2: just trying to get sleep. Like I honestly, the comfort
Speaker 2: was like trying to get some sleep. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: like really when you're not fully focused on this kid,
Speaker 2: like either my husband or I were taking turns just sleeping.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the sleep part feels overwhelmed me. Ye, are y'all
Speaker 1: in a routine now? Or are he's sleeping? Like are
Speaker 1: you getting sleep?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, God blessed. He's sleeping through the he's sleeping through
Speaker 2: the night, and he's great. And he he goes down
Speaker 2: around like seven thirty and wakes up around six, So
Speaker 2: I mean, what a dream? Yeah, so he's green.
Speaker 6: Who are the.
Speaker 4: People like that you followed or books that you read
Speaker 4: or like Instagram people that you followed, or podcasts that
Speaker 4: you listen to that actually you feel like gave you
Speaker 4: good tips on pregnancy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I have this book Mom's on Call, and people
Speaker 2: that have babies will automatically know what that is. And
Speaker 2: if you don't get their book, it's basically this like
Speaker 2: tiny book that Okay, your baby has a fever, this
Speaker 2: is what you do? You know, like no frills, nothing,
Speaker 2: It's just a little baby guide and it also has
Speaker 2: you know, sleep schedules things like that to try to
Speaker 2: get your baby on routine. And I just follow that
Speaker 2: religiously and I swear by it. There are some some
Speaker 2: Instagram actually one of this this one girl, she's right
Speaker 2: here in Studio City. Let me want to get her
Speaker 2: Instagram right Wilder Beginnings. She had her baby the day
Speaker 2: after me, so I have been following her and she
Speaker 2: just is not your Instagram influencer. She just shows you
Speaker 2: that her baby didn't sleep through the night, is throwing
Speaker 2: up all over her, has a rash, you know, like
Speaker 2: all the things that are actually happening to me, you know,
Speaker 2: and she just there's no filter. It's just all her
Speaker 2: and what's actually happening in their lives. And that, you know,
Speaker 2: was really helpful for me because for a second, and
Speaker 2: we can talk about this, but like the one the
Speaker 2: one I would say when I the one thing I
Speaker 2: was the most worried about going into maternity leave was
Speaker 2: having postpartum depression. That was the one thing I was like,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I feel like I'm going to get that.
Speaker 2: Like I don't know why. I was just very anxious
Speaker 2: about getting that. I was pleasantly surprised that I the
Speaker 2: second he was born, I immediately gravitated towards my baby,
Speaker 2: and that's not the case for a lot of people.
Speaker 2: So I felt that love there and I was very
Speaker 2: very much drawn to and I loved being a mom.
Speaker 2: I loved the new normal. I loved how my life
Speaker 2: has shifted like that. I wasn't mourning the loss of
Speaker 2: my old life. But the one thing that was like
Speaker 2: incredibly hard for me that was not on my bingo
Speaker 2: card is when my husband went back to work. I
Speaker 2: was so not ready for that. For a month. That
Speaker 2: first month, which is the hardest month, you know, you're
Speaker 2: trying to get used to having a baby and get
Speaker 2: used to feeding and all that kind of stuff, was
Speaker 2: honestly kind of fine for me because I had my
Speaker 2: partner and it was a teamwork mentality. You know, Okay,
Speaker 2: you do the diaper, I'll do the feed. You go
Speaker 2: to sleep, I will go you know. It was just
Speaker 2: very much like I had my partner in this and
Speaker 2: we were tackling it together and it was amazing and
Speaker 2: we're just trying to figure this out, you know, the
Speaker 2: chaos of it all. But the second he went back
Speaker 2: to work, I felt very left behind. I could get
Speaker 2: like emotional talking about it. But it was like the
Speaker 2: one the one time in like the pregnancy and the
Speaker 2: attorney leave, where I felt that like it was just
Speaker 2: me and and I knew that was in the case,
Speaker 2: and you, I had my husband. I knew I could
Speaker 2: call my mom, and you had my son and all
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. But I felt like he went
Speaker 2: back to work and he got himself back a little bit,
Speaker 2: and I was still just in the trenches by myself,
Speaker 2: and that was like really hard for me. And I
Speaker 2: think during that time, you expect your partner to be
Speaker 2: like a mind reader and like to understand what's going
Speaker 2: on and like, oh yeah, I needed to give an
Speaker 2: yell some kind of love or whatever. But we fell
Speaker 2: into this like routine where he would come home from
Speaker 2: work and be like, oh god, I'm so tired. I'm like,
Speaker 2: you sure aren't tired. I'm tired, you know, or like
Speaker 2: or you know, like just being having that anxiety. If
Speaker 2: something were to happen when I'm watching him by myself,
Speaker 2: it's on me, right, you know, So you felt this,
Speaker 2: you feel this like overwhelming sense of like pressure but
Speaker 2: also like pressure by yourself. Yeah, you know, so we
Speaker 2: had to have this, like had to have We had
Speaker 2: a conversation. I was like, look, I'm struggling right now,
Speaker 2: Like I feel very alone, I feel very left behind.
Speaker 2: I feel like you're finally getting back to you know,
Speaker 2: you're having conversations with normal people and you're socializing. You
Speaker 2: get to go out of the house, you get to
Speaker 2: put on an outfit, you know, But like here I am,
Speaker 2: I could barely take it. If I even get to
Speaker 2: take a shower, get to take a shower. I'm eating
Speaker 2: with one hand twenty four to seven because you only
Speaker 2: have one hand because you're carrying the baby in the
Speaker 2: other hand. Like, naps are not a thing, you know,
Speaker 2: like when they're napping, your pumping or washing your bottles
Speaker 2: or you know whatever, Like there's no break for mom
Speaker 2: at all. And it just made me realize, like, for
Speaker 2: everyone that's a stay at home mom that is listening
Speaker 2: right now, your job never ends. It is twenty four
Speaker 2: to seven. And I literally want to give you guys
Speaker 2: the biggest hug because it's the hardest job out there,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, beyond hardest job is being a stay
Speaker 2: at home mom.
Speaker 4: How long was that time that so John went back
Speaker 4: to work? Yeah, and then how long were you until
Speaker 4: you went back to work? Two more months?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: So he went back to work a month after and
Speaker 2: then yeah, it was about like two two and a
Speaker 2: half months.
Speaker 4: But then when you finally opened up to him and
Speaker 4: told him how you were feeling, how did you guys?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I told him. I was just like, I
Speaker 2: feel like my only identity is taking care of him,
Speaker 2: which I'm more than happy to do, but like I
Speaker 2: am so resentful and so jealous that you get to
Speaker 2: do something else and still get to be Mateo's dad,
Speaker 2: you know, like I'm only Mateo's mom right now. Like
Speaker 2: that's all I am like, because at that point you're
Speaker 2: not clear to work out, You're not clear to you know,
Speaker 2: do a lot of things. So once I got cleared
Speaker 2: to work out, that was kind of like my thing.
Speaker 2: So John would get home from work, no questions asked,
Speaker 2: he had to take the baby for an hour, like,
Speaker 2: no questions asked, get home, here's the baby. I'm going
Speaker 2: on a walk, I'm going on a run. I'm doing
Speaker 2: something for myself. So that was like my one role
Speaker 2: that when I got when he got home from work,
Speaker 2: I needed to do something just for Danielle, just you know,
Speaker 2: whatever that meant. I had to do it for my
Speaker 2: own mental sanity, and even if that just meant watching TV,
Speaker 2: you know, like whatever, just something where I can just
Speaker 2: do it by myself. And then another rule that we
Speaker 2: had was if I'm nursing the baby, if I'm changing
Speaker 2: his dipe or whatever, you need to do something else
Speaker 2: to let the work like be done. Like that sounds weird,
Speaker 2: but like if I'm putting down the baby, wash the
Speaker 2: bottles so that once I'm done putting down the baby,
Speaker 2: we can watch TV together, you know, like the job's
Speaker 2: not done until both of our jobs are done.
Speaker 3: Like lighten the load while I'm doing one thing exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was that was like another turning point
Speaker 2: for us, Like the second I put down the baby,
Speaker 2: like I wanted to be able to just like be done,
Speaker 2: just having some rest and not having to go into
Speaker 2: the kitchen and make the bottles for the next day
Speaker 2: or clean all the bottle parts or the pumping parts,
Speaker 2: you know that kind of stuff. Like coming back out
Speaker 2: and having a clean kitchen was the big deal. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just glad that you have a partner that
Speaker 3: wants you.
Speaker 1: I know, that feeling of like when I'm expecting Haley
Speaker 1: to read my mind, of like she should know that
Speaker 1: I need a little extra something, and like knowing that
Speaker 1: you have a partner that you once you communicated that that,
Speaker 1: it was like here, here's what I need. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: also like I'm gonna make this time for me and
Speaker 1: I need you to like be my teammate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know really And it was like this like
Speaker 2: weird guilt because I acknowledged that I was jealous of
Speaker 2: the fact that he was he was able to be
Speaker 2: outside of the house, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 2: for me, I'm like, I'm in your mom. I should
Speaker 2: love this, you know, like I should love like being
Speaker 2: around him twenty four seven. And I do. But at
Speaker 2: a certain point, you also need time for yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he was getting that eight hours a day. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I wasn't, you know.
Speaker 3: And he's like I'm exhausted, and You're like, I've I'm so.
Speaker 2: Excited, like a guess an end. And again he's valid
Speaker 2: to be totally right, Like he also wasn't sleeping at
Speaker 2: night and had to go to work. But you don't
Speaker 2: say that to me wrong, audience, your friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I always say I think that being a
Speaker 1: stay at home mom is the hardest job that someone
Speaker 1: could have. Like, you know, when I used to nanny,
Speaker 1: I would, you know, nanny for eight hours and then
Speaker 1: they'd come home and I'd go back to my you know, life,
Speaker 1: and it.
Speaker 3: Was it's so exhausted.
Speaker 1: They weren't my kids, but it was exhausting, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: if it's just you and them my sister, yes.
Speaker 3: Five kids.
Speaker 5: And my mom.
Speaker 3: And I was like, how do you not? Like, yeah,
Speaker 3: she's a teacher. Now I'm like, how are you around
Speaker 3: kids anymore? I feel like I'm done.
Speaker 1: I'm done, But I am just like so impressed and
Speaker 1: wild by you because I feel like you are such
Speaker 1: a grounded person and I feel like you're patient and
Speaker 1: you were made to be a mom, but you're also
Speaker 1: such a successful career woman and I'm so happy you
Speaker 1: have an amazing partner and you've like navigated this with
Speaker 1: so much grace and honesty too, and vulnerability because I
Speaker 1: do think we see on Instagram and I think more
Speaker 1: than ever social media is you're hearing more about the
Speaker 1: real parts more than ever, but it still can look
Speaker 1: very glossy.
Speaker 4: No, And that's why I really was excited to have
Speaker 4: you on because I think, I mean, I've known you
Speaker 4: forever and I just feel like I really value you.
Speaker 4: I value what you say, what you've done, because I
Speaker 4: just feel like you are all those things, like you're
Speaker 4: a great person, you're a great mom, you're a great worker,
Speaker 4: and so I just like was really interested to hear
Speaker 4: kind of your story and like learn from you. But
Speaker 4: I also want to know if you could do anything differently,
Speaker 4: would you do something different and what would it be.
Speaker 2: I don't think I would do anything differently, but I
Speaker 2: would just want to remind myself that each day is
Speaker 2: a new day. So if you had the most amazing
Speaker 2: day with your baby, everything is going to write according
Speaker 2: to plan exactly how you want it to happen, and
Speaker 2: then the next day it doesn't. It's okay, you know,
Speaker 2: baby is a baby. I think that was the one
Speaker 2: thing that I was like so hard on myself. What
Speaker 2: did I do today that didn't make Matao sleep on time?
Speaker 2: Or like you know, I was just like constantly second
Speaker 2: guessing everything, like why is today such a bad day?
Speaker 2: Sometimes some days babies have bad days. Some days they
Speaker 2: don't want to go down for their naps. Sometimes they
Speaker 2: don't want to eat when you want them to eat.
Speaker 2: Like that was the one thing I just realized is like,
Speaker 2: they're never going to be on my schedule. I have
Speaker 2: to be okay with that, Yeah, you know, but just
Speaker 2: you know, you are thankful for the good days, but
Speaker 2: also don't be hard so hard on yourself on the
Speaker 2: bad days. It's all just a constant journey and you
Speaker 2: just take take a day by ta. That's it.
Speaker 5: Does Matello have a nook or binkie pacifier? I have
Speaker 5: a tip only because my wife came up with us
Speaker 5: and it's so genius and it really helped us up. Yes,
Speaker 5: but I'm getting to that. So what what she did
Speaker 5: was because in the crib, my daughter would lose the
Speaker 5: what do you call it?
Speaker 2: We call it a cheppy Okay.
Speaker 5: She would lose the choopy in the corners of the mattress. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and then she'd get up and cry and scream until
Speaker 5: we came in. She also had a lovey. Does he
Speaker 5: have a lovey?
Speaker 2: He doesn't have one yet, but we have them. He
Speaker 2: just yeah, he doesn't.
Speaker 5: His little Teddy bear head on the blanket and blanket
Speaker 5: with a Teddy Bear head on it. And so she
Speaker 5: tied the She tied the choopy to the corner to
Speaker 5: one of the corners of the blanket on the levee.
Speaker 5: That way, it's not going to get stuck down the
Speaker 5: mattress and so we'd see her on the on the mound.
Speaker 2: They have those now.
Speaker 5: Where they're built like that.
Speaker 2: Well, the pacifiers have like a stuffed animal attached to it.
Speaker 5: But we see it, we look around for and that
Speaker 5: you find the stuff then and won't let you go
Speaker 5: corner corner there it is, pop back in her mouth
Speaker 5: and go right back to sleep without bothering anything.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: But the great thing is then when it was time
Speaker 5: to give up the cheopy, it wasn't about her giving
Speaker 5: up the cheopy lovey. It's time for love to give up.
Speaker 2: Oh that's so cute, and you're to be.
Speaker 5: There for love to help him through this. And it
Speaker 5: was a very smooth process with both kids because if
Speaker 5: you do it that way, it just seemed to work
Speaker 5: much better. So New Moms is my wife's one hundred
Speaker 5: percent credit, totally her idea, and it worked so beautifully.
Speaker 2: That's smart.
Speaker 3: They when they got when they started.
Speaker 5: Three three oh dark, we're really goes earlier.
Speaker 2: We're trying to transition into his own room right now,
Speaker 2: which I think this weekend it's going to happen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: in the room with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they stay in like the best matter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, wait, how has the dog handled the
Speaker 1: shift of attention?
Speaker 4: So Boots is sixteen years old or not fifteen? Sorry,
Speaker 4: he's fifteen years old. He could care less. Oh yeah, baby,
Speaker 4: he looks at the baby.
Speaker 2: Sometimes he'll sniff him, and sometimes he'll give him a
Speaker 2: little wick and then just walks away and mind his
Speaker 2: own business. We were actually really nervous about him, like
Speaker 2: when we were to bring the baby home and the crying,
Speaker 2: how he was going to adjust to that. He just
Speaker 2: kind of like buries himself into his bed and just
Speaker 2: like it's like okay, here, we are here. Yeah. He
Speaker 2: just you know, looks and gives him some attention, but
Speaker 2: keeps his keeps his distance.
Speaker 1: He's like, this isn't this isn't mine to take care of.
Speaker 1: I'm still I'm the oldest baby.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. Well, Danielle, we love you.
Speaker 4: Thank you, love so much for scrubbing In, Thank you
Speaker 4: for steering this ship.
Speaker 1: And so many podcasts, many podcast that's your favorite scrubbing in?
Speaker 1: What just for people who don't know, like what are
Speaker 1: like names some of the podcasts, because I feel like
Speaker 1: people listen to multiple.
Speaker 5: Nowhere from em all in. He is an actual personality
Speaker 5: and I am all in Gilmore Girls, Rewatch, poc Yes, show.
Speaker 4: No, we do like Jahn mc queen's and Podmeats World.
Speaker 4: I am paris h What else east did help me?
Speaker 4: Bethony Frankel's Slater show Suckers.
Speaker 3: There's a lot busy. We have a busy group of
Speaker 3: people in this room.
Speaker 5: Er Amy and TJ Amy Sugarman in Easton and I
Speaker 5: were involved at the beginning when we started these podcasts
Speaker 5: in twenty seventeen and a couple of years later. Did
Speaker 5: you start when nineteen? You came back nineteen and Amy
Speaker 5: said to me, I guess who's coming back to work
Speaker 5: on the podcast? And I said, I have no idea.
Speaker 5: She was no, you have to guess. I said, well,
Speaker 5: how am I going to guess? I don't know? And
Speaker 5: Amy goes, who's our favorite person? Daniel podcast.
Speaker 2: I had asked Amy for a referral for a different
Speaker 2: job and she's like, are you looking for a job?
Speaker 2: And I was, well, I'm looking for this job and
Speaker 2: she's like, well I have a different job. I'm like okay,
Speaker 2: and here I am. Here she is and all her glory.
Speaker 3: We're very grateful for you. Thank you for sharing, and
Speaker 3: we love you. We're so proud of you and happy
Speaker 3: for you and thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we love you so much, love you, and.
Speaker 3: We love you guys.
Speaker 6: Love you very weekend next week.
Speaker 5: Bye,