WEBVTT - Modern Woman Maternity 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:09.760 Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rep An iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, everybody, 0:00:09.800 --> 0:00:14.520 we are scrubbing in scrub a dub dub today. We 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:16.880 have someone who's going to really help clear the air 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:19.360 on all this producer stuff because we have one of 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:25.000 the executive producers of all iHeartRadio podcasts. That's right, and 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:28.600 she is Danielle Romo. 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:31.440 Yeah, I'm so happy to be scrubbing in guys. 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:35.240 Okay, this is the first time, like officially, officially. 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.640 Yeah, I've been on a couple times, but not like this. 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:41.760 So we're gonna set you up for everybody that's listening. 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:44.440 So you started as a promo assistant iHeartRadio. 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:50.519 What year was that, twenty seventeen, And actually technically I 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:57.760 was an intern for Ryan's production company before that, Ryan Productions. Yeah, 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:00.800 so that was kind of how it all happened. 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:04.280 Then you went to NBC Universal and then you came 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:08.360 back to iHeart to oversee all the podcasts. You married 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:10.240 John in October of twenty eighteen. 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:14.480 John. It's funny. This is actually really funny because his 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:18.360 Instagram handle is j. Yeah, it's John. 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:20.200 I knew it was John, and I'm looking at this 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:22.400 and I'm like, I have said the wrong name. 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:25.080 If you say Ja, if you say Jay, he thinks 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.240 you're cool because his entire family calls him j Oh. 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:31.679 So it's like it's you're kind of You're kind of in. 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:36.080 I was like, I have called him the wrong name. 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:40.120 So okay, people call Robbie Ryan all the time because 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:44.040 his instagram is r y like r Yadigar. It's like Rya, 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.120 so everybody thinks his name is Ryan, which is very funny. 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:51.680 So they got married in twenty eighteen, two thousand. This 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:54.800 year marks twelve years together. And then you guys gave 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:58.280 first gave birth to your first child, Mateo on October first, 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:01.160 twenty twenty three. And the whole reason why I wanted 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:04.480 to have you on the podcast is because to me, 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:10.480 I find the idea of maternity leave so wildly fascinating. 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:14.240 I think, especially when for like a career woman like you, 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:19.480 who you work so hard, you work day in, day out, 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:22.680 and you've been like so career driven, and then you 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.960 have a baby and then what you just like turn 0:02:26.000 --> 0:02:27.960 off all your emails and you just go. 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.800 Into like this abyss and then you just have to come. 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:31.160 Back to it. 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:32.240 Like I just the whole thing. 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:33.880 I remember when you came back from matruly, but I 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:35.480 wanted to ask you all these questions, and I was like, 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:37.960 I think this could be an interesting conversation on the podcast. 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.679 Yeah. No, for sure, you just like re emerge back 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:45.040 into your old life, or at least try to. But 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:48.840 I remember Tanya came to visit me maybe when Matteo 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:53.079 was like eight weeks old, and she's like, tell me everything. 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:55.640 She like looked into my soul and she was like, 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.480 how was it? What happened in the delivery? Like asking 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:02.519 me all these questions. I was like, Tanya, another day, 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:08.680 It's just another day. Today's the day. Ye wait. 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:12.280 So I've never even thought about the idea that you 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:14.720 go on maternity, Like do you just turn everything off? 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:15.400 You have to? 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:20.120 Yeah, so, and it's not like my choice. So literally 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:24.200 the before you like before you deliver, you have to 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:27.200 give hr like a date of your last day, if 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.000 you even know what that is. Some people don't, obviously, 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:33.359 but once they find out that you're taking your maternity 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:37.160 day or leave starting this day the very that very day, 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:39.840 they completely shut off all your emails, so like you 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:44.120 have no access to anything. Yeah, you're just cut off 0:03:44.360 --> 0:03:46.640 and then they tell you your coworker or they tell your 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.480 coworkers and your boss that they can't reach out to 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:53.440 you and about work or anything like that. And hopefully 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:54.920 some people like abide by that. 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:57.120 But but it's kind of weird too because a lot 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:58.920 of for a lot of people, your social circle is 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:01.440 your coworkers totally silence. 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.840 Yeah, like our boss, she was like, how am I 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:07.480 not going to be able to talk to you? But 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:10.360 I think they do that from like a legality perspective, 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:14.280 but but yeah, I mean, uh yeah. So the day 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.880 that I went on attorney leave, which was on a Monday, 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:22.640 and I delivered him that Saturday, I had no access 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:23.279 to my emails. 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:23.920 That was it. 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:24.599 Bye. 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:27.080 And I remember this with Sicini and with Patty. Oh 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:29.120 and so we come back, how many emails did you have? 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:33.600 Oh my god? Talk about like the day I came 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.240 back from attorney leave and I turned on my emails, 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:40.680 I just instant sweat, like, yeah, I'm one of those 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:44.000 people that I don't leave. Like a notification like the 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:48.839 red flag gives me the worst anxiety. It was upwards 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:51.919 of like ten K plus, which is a big deal 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.400 for me. And so I just went to October November 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:59.400 and just deleted everything from those two months. I didn't 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:02.240 even look at them. There was no way I was 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:04.120 going to be able to and I just focused on 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:08.440 December and January. And that's kind of how I dealt 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:08.720 with that. 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:11.920 One of my emails, I have thirty two thousand. 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:16.880 Oh my god, instant panic like that would drive me bonkers. 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:19.640 I don't even order to again. I'm too far gone. 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:21.119 I just let it in crime. 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:21.599 Yeah. 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:25.560 Yeah, so okay, I want you to be like super 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:29.640 super honest, because these are thoughts that have like gone 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:34.040 on in my head. When you obviously after you have birth, 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:36.800 you just care about your baby. Were you even thinking 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:40.839 about work or like I think a lot of women 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:43.120 I think, and I know some women in the industry 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.640 that have gone on maternleave, they feel like they're not 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:47.680 threatened that they're not going to get their job back, 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:50.120 but like scared that whoever's replacing them is doing a 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:50.719 better job. 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:54.839 Yeah. No, totally. All that goes goes through your brain. 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:58.440 I think the wild and crazy thing is you have 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:03.200 your baby and then that week after and I don't 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:04.880 know how it is for different states, but this is 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:07.479 just for California. When you go on maternity leave. The 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:10.680 way you get paid is buy through state disability, and 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:15.719 you can't file for it until you have your baby, 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:17.839 and you have to do it within ten days of 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:20.520 having your baby. So it's like I think it's ten, 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:23.320 Either it's seven or ten. So literally, you have your 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:26.080 baby and the first the next day is like, oh, shoot, 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:30.240 I got a file for state. Like literally that's what 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:31.400 you have to do, and you have to get all 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:33.640 these papers from your doctor in the hospital and like 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:36.360 all this stuff to submit in order to get paid 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:41.120 or you know, to get money and survive. So literally 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:43.640 the first week after you're trying to deal with that 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:46.000 and like get all your paperwork together and like send 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:47.960 it into the state and like deal with all that 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:53.160 kind of stuff. And then after that you just you know, 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:56.479 are dealing with a baby. I would say I was 0:06:56.600 --> 0:07:01.520 really really pleasantly surprised with myself because, like you said, 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:04.040 I for my whole life, I've been such a career 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:07.400 focused person. I thought it was gonna be really really 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:11.920 hard for me to step away and not be so involved. 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:16.120 But I was pleasantly surprised that like my priority completely shifted, 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.240 Like I didn't even think about work to be completely 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:21.280 honest with you. I had this little thing that was 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:25.280 taking my attention for twenty four hours a day, seven 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:29.840 days a week, and I would say like eight weeks in, 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.080 I slowly started to emerge out of the fog and 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:35.360 be like, Okay, what's going on, Like what's happening? On'scrubbing in? 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:39.120 You know, like let me listen to a podcast. You know, 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:41.720 you slowly start to emerge from the fog. But that 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:45.080 those first eight weeks at least for me, were just 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:49.840 hyper focused on trying to figure out this new reality 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:50.960 for myself. You know. 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:54.840 So what was it like when you come back? 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:56.800 You you open your email and you have all these 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:58.560 emails and you're going through it and then it's like 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.480 back to work and you I still have this tiny 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:04.880 human that you're, yeah, having to focus. 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:07.320 On twenty four seven So what's the balance. 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:12.480 So I will say, you know, everyone's everyone's different, because 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:15.160 some people take longer to get back to work. Some 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:17.760 people want to get back into work right away. I 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:20.720 took just over three and a half months of maternity leave, 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:24.760 and that felt like really good for me. I had 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:27.520 friends before tell me you have to take six months 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:29.880 or some friends like you you know, you're gonna want 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.720 to go back faster or whatever. It's just so different 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:35.640 for everybody. For me, that was a really good time 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:40.800 and I'm so fortunate that I found somebody who I 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:42.920 really love to take care of him during the week, 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:47.240 and that has been such a blessing. And the best 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.920 thing to come from COVID for me is the fact 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:51.840 that it gets to work from home. Yeah, yeah, so 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:54.880 I have I have like an office at my house, 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:57.920 and you know, the nanny is taking care of him 0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:01.760 during the day. But like before each nap, I go 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:04.360 in and just like, hey, the day I'm here, I 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:07.760 love you give him acause like you know, like just 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:11.720 show him I'm still there and then go back to work, 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:13.319 you know, So I like get to see him all 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:16.440 the time. And I was and also once I'm done 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:19.600 with work, I I'm there. You know, I don't have 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:22.520 to drive home an hour, So I know, I'm like 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:25.200 super fortunate in that. But I was talking to my mom, 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:27.839 and my mom she was working in downtown LA when 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:31.520 I was born, and I live in where my parents 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:33.240 lived in the valley. It would take her an hour 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:34.920 and a half to get home from work, and she 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:37.880 would get home at six thirty at night and dinner 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:40.200 and go to bed, you know, and I'm just like, 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:41.960 oh my god, I'm so lucky that I'm able to 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:46.080 work from home. So I think, I think for me, 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.960 going back to work was very much welcomed. I was 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:51.800 excited to not talk about poopy diapers. I was excited 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:55.679 to like get a little bit of myself back and 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.440 you know, just exercise a different part of my brain 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.200 that I hadn't been for the last three four months. 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:03.559 So for me, I was really excited to go back 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:07.320 to work. But also I think if I wasn't working 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:10.600 from home, I would be an absolute basket case. Even 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:12.360 just being in a different room, I'm still looking at 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:15.640 the freaking security cameras and like his like little monitor 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:18.160 in his room, Like Okay, he's there, He's alive, you know. 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:22.960 Like it's just as a mom, your focus like just 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:25.640 is always. He's never not in my brain, you know 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:27.800 what I mean. Like even when I'm going out, like 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:31.320 to dinner or something like that. If I if I 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:33.000 am able to go on a date night or something 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:35.760 like John has told me many times, put your phone away, 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:36.160 and like. 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:37.760 I just want to make sure he's still there. 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:40.920 That's it, you know, but it just never goes away. 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:43.080 Mark this many years later. 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.280 I'm going to college next year, but I'm looking at 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:49.280 Life three sixty making sure she's okay. We're supposed to be, Yeah, 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:50.199 for sure? 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:52.880 Crazy is Life three sixty? 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:56.880 Uh it's a it's an app, right, Yeah, it's a 0:10:56.920 --> 0:11:00.319 helicopter parent app that allows you to track your kids. Mike, 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:02.080 I can get my kids and find my iPhone because 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:05.280 we have a family plan with Apple. But Life three 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:07.360 sixty tells you how fast they're going in their car. 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.200 It alerts you when they arrive at their destiny Life 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.920 to their battery Life on their phone. Oh as a 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:15.439 eight percent. But have her charge your phone? Yeah, all that. 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:18.000 Stuffy toney as well to have this on Robbie. 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:23.240 Could you imagine I'm like, slow down, babe. It's creepy 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:26.800 until it's not right, Like, you know, it's creepy that 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:28.400 I'm looking at my phone all the time and just 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:32.120 looking at the monitor. But also it's what if, you know, 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:35.480 like what if an earthquake happens again and you want 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:38.319 to make sure your kid's okay? Okay, I want to 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:40.160 talk about the actual birth. 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:43.160 Okay, I know what do you want to know, like 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:45.719 you're gonna tell it to us, Like, yeah, this. 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:47.600 Feels like something we should come back for. 0:11:47.760 --> 0:12:23.640 Okay, yeah yeah, yeah. 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.640 All right, we're back. So Tanya is ready to get into. 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:13.160 I want to know the nitty gritty because I feel 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:16.200 like every time I watch somebody on Instagram that's like 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.480 having a baby, it's like what's in my hospital bag? 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:23.120 And it's like these cute little outfits and like this 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:26.800 lipstick and stuff, And I'm like this doesn't seem to me, 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:30.760 like it's actually the reality of what's going on. So like, 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:33.400 give us the real deal, like what are you packing? 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:36.040 Like what did you need to pack for the hospital? 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:41.280 Did you rip like all the stume? I yeah, no, 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:43.240 I'll tell it all to you. 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:48.120 So I I kind of went into birth a little 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:51.960 half like half backwards, like I was crossing my the 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.960 thought of labor petrified me me too, and I was 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:57.599 crossing my fingers that my son would be breached so 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:00.520 that I can have a C section. Like I was like, 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:03.360 please don't want to see sign. No, I know exactly 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:06.080 that's my point, but for me, I was just like please, 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.920 like please make me have to have a sea section 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.199 like that, I just wanted to go in and know 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:13.680 the day that I was going to deliver and that 0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:16.560 I'm having surgery and all that kind of stuff. And 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:20.439 I do know that that is like a treacherous path 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.920 like that the women that have gone through C sections. 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.800 It is a recovery and a recovery and a half. 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:31.160 It's just so gnarly. But for me, in my OCD brain, like, 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.920 I liked the fact of Okay, this is the date 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:38.800 that you go in and you know whatever. So three 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:42.160 weeks before my due date, my doctor was like, if 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.280 he doesn't flip by this time, then we're gonna have 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.000 to have a sea section. I was like, okay, great, like, 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:50.920 no problem, sounds good. I go into that appointment and 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:53.880 he freaking flipped and she was like, you can have 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:57.200 a natural brother, so excited. Isn't this amazing? I just 0:13:57.280 --> 0:14:00.400 looked at her. I was like, oh my god, no, 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:06.160 like this ugh, But looking back on it, go So 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:09.719 I went into I went into labor being completely terrified. 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:13.280 And it didn't help that he was almost a week late, 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:16.960 so I had like all these I was just ready 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:18.880 for it to just happen already, and just kept waiting, 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:21.960 kept waiting, kept waiting, kept waiting. When it came to 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:27.080 the actual labor, it was it was gnarly. I'm not 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:31.160 gonna lie like it was the whole like contractions and 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.640 all that kind of stuff. I went into the hospital 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:38.240 and my nurse was she was like, okay, well you're, 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:42.200 you know, just under four centimeters dilated. Do you want epidurl? 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:44.720 And I was like, yeah, I want epidol, Like give 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:47.240 it to me now. So she's like okay, great. She's 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:49.400 like it takes about thirty minutes for them to come, 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:51.800 you know, come to your room, so just hang in there, 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:55.960 like okay. She comes back thirty minutes later and she 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.240 is literally scrubbed head to like she's in scrubs head 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.720 to toe, like hairnet on, like the full thing. And 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:03.520 I was like, oh my gosh, she's gonna tell me 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:06.200 I'm gonna have to have an emergency C section, Like 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:08.880 why is she? She literally looked like she was in hasmatsu. 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:11.960 And she was like, okay, Danielle, a little bit of 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:15.520 bad news. You're gonna have to wait for an epidol. 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:17.960 I was like, what do you mean. She's like, we 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:20.640 have two emergencies on the floor right now. That the 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.200 anteziologist has to cater to so you're gonna have to 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:26.560 wait like you're not an emergency. So I waited two 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:30.600 hours for an epidurl and for our listeners that are 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:33.880 listening right now that have gone through this. I went 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:38.920 from four centimeters to just about six centimeters without an epidurol, 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:44.960 and that is gnarly like women that have had that 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:48.360 have natural births without any kind of drugs or anything 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:50.880 like that. Like I tip my hat off to you. 0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:54.520 You are miracle women in my eyes, like, oh my goodness. 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.960 But the second I got the epidural, I was flying high. 0:15:57.920 --> 0:15:59.800 Like it was great. 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.240 I was cracking jokes with any nurse that came in, 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:05.600 like I was just like, today's the best day ever. 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:10.440 I also helped that My antetysiologist was like the cutest ever. 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:14.880 I was like, lovely, he was really cute. 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:17.680 On I was like, he's so cute. 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:21.080 Did you feel the epidural needle? 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:24.600 Honestly I didn't. I didn't, but I think because I 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:28.080 was having such bad contractions that nothing was more painful 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:31.160 than that. People feel that needle. It's like this big, 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:36.840 it's huge, it's massive. I didn't feel anything. 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:39.720 That tells you how much pain. Yeah, the contractions are 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:41.120 that you don't feel the need. 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:43.640 Didn't feel anything nothing. 0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:45.280 Why did you go to the hospital in the first place. 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:46.040 Did your water break? 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:50.880 Oh? So I had a scheduled induction, and so our 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:52.760 plan was always to go to the hospital that day, 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.840 but I ended up going into labor that morning of 0:16:55.880 --> 0:17:00.920 my of my scheduled induction date. So yeah, that's. 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:02.239 Why you just feel the contractions. 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:04.240 No, it didn't break. 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:04.320 No. 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:06.600 By the way, just a side little story. My wife 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.760 when she got her epidural, it was an older doctor 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.119 training a younger doctor and how to do an epidural, 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:13.200 and it didn't take. 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:17.160 That's no, you don't want anybody training to do any training. 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:19.359 I don't want training. 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:21.719 We thought people know what they're doing. We've never had 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:25.480 a baby before, and so it didn't work, and so everything. 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:27.760 They came back and did it again later, but very 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:31.280 quickly after that, they we went into the they removed 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:33.639 us from wherever we were, a new different room. She 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:38.359 felt everything, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, dang, dang, 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:38.760 is right. 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:40.320 I'd be so mad. 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:42.600 She wasn't happy. 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:46.199 Yeah, but some people that get the epidural, it just 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:48.320 doesn't work. On them either like that is a very 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.240 real thing because they're like so hard like they can 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.840 take it, or it just doesn't hit the right nerve. 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:59.080 I don't know, but but yeah, like in Mark's wife's. 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:02.680 Case, can you describe what a contraction feels like? Where 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:03.600 does it where? 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:03.800 Where? 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:05.520 Like where all does it hurt? 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:06.199 Like? 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:10.280 It depends what stage you're in. In the beginning, it's 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:14.639 like your cramps times ten, and then they just get worse, 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:16.800 and then your back gets involved. And when your back 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:19.840 gets involved, it's like all hell breaks list. That's when 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:23.119 it hurts so bad because it's not only that cramp 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.280 that you're you're used to feeling in like your uterus, 0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:30.920 but it's also your entire back like just ill think 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:33.760 of like a muscle spasm, like like all of that 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:36.919 in your lower back, in your in your uterus, just 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:37.919 all of that area. 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:40.679 And it's because the baby's like coming down and. 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:45.840 Yeah and putting so much pressure so weak yeah weak. 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.720 Yeah yeah, Like did you put when you when it 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:50.760 happened where you're like, I just did that. 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:54.920 So there's a couple of funny things. Because I had 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:58.440 my mom and my husband with me, and I love 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:01.040 my mom so much. And then she listens, I'm saying 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:04.280 this with like all all love in my heart. I 0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:05.840 love you so much and thank you so much for 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:11.040 being there for me. She was like, I almost cussed 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:14.400 her out. I'm not gonna lie. 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:15.320 She was. 0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:19.320 I had one guideline for both of them, like don't 0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:22.000 look below, like, don't look you're paying attention to me, 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:25.199 don't look down there, like please the doctor. She the 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.040 doctor was like, oh, your baby has hair. My mom 0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:31.400 literally was like, oh my god, and just like totally 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:34.239 look down there. I'm like, oh, so that was that 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:38.679 was strike number one. Strike number two. She was like, 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:42.199 this was like game time, like pushing hard. A baby 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:45.760 is almost out, and I look over my mom's texting 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:49.040 and I'm like, Yolanda, who. 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:50.440 Are you texting? 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.760 It's more important than me right now. And She's like 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:56.960 everyone's just asking me what's going on. I just want 0:19:56.960 --> 0:19:57.840 to give them updates. 0:19:57.880 --> 0:19:59.720 I was like, I don't care about them. 0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:02.840 Put your phone away, like you're not allowed to have 0:20:02.960 --> 0:20:06.520 your phone. And then after that it was fine. But 0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:09.560 she was in charge of taking photos and oh my god, John, 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:11.760 when we look at my camera, roll, John and I 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:17.480 are just we just cry laughing because They're the most unflattering. 0:20:18.560 --> 0:20:23.040 In the entire world. I look like I'm. 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:25.560 Miserable, which I was, and about to die, like it 0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:28.119 was just but at the end of the day, like 0:20:28.680 --> 0:20:31.720 I'm so I'm so happy I had my mom there because, yeah, 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:36.840 when I got the epidol or right before, cause you're 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:39.720 allowed to like keep pressing for the epidol, I think 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:41.400 I got to the point where I had too much 0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:45.479 in me and I just started like shaking uncontrollably, and 0:20:45.520 --> 0:20:48.240 that was really scary. And John was like, is she okay? 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:50.480 She having a seizure? Like I just like had no 0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:54.600