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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rep An iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, everybody,

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Speaker 1: we are scrubbing in scrub a dub dub today. We

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Speaker 1: have someone who's going to really help clear the air

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Speaker 1: on all this producer stuff because we have one of

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Speaker 1: the executive producers of all iHeartRadio podcasts. That's right, and

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Speaker 1: she is Danielle Romo.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so happy to be scrubbing in guys.

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Speaker 3: Okay, this is the first time, like officially, officially.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I've been on a couple times, but not like this.

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Speaker 4: So we're gonna set you up for everybody that's listening.

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Speaker 4: So you started as a promo assistant iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: What year was that, twenty seventeen, And actually technically I

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Speaker 2: was an intern for Ryan's production company before that, Ryan Productions. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so that was kind of how it all happened.

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Speaker 4: Then you went to NBC Universal and then you came

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Speaker 4: back to iHeart to oversee all the podcasts. You married

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Speaker 4: John in October of twenty eighteen.

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Speaker 2: John. It's funny. This is actually really funny because his

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Speaker 2: Instagram handle is j. Yeah, it's John.

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Speaker 1: I knew it was John, and I'm looking at this

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I have said the wrong name.

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Speaker 2: If you say Ja, if you say Jay, he thinks

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Speaker 2: you're cool because his entire family calls him j Oh.

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Speaker 2: So it's like it's you're kind of You're kind of in.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I have called him the wrong name.

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Speaker 4: So okay, people call Robbie Ryan all the time because

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Speaker 4: his instagram is r y like r Yadigar. It's like Rya,

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Speaker 4: so everybody thinks his name is Ryan, which is very funny.

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Speaker 4: So they got married in twenty eighteen, two thousand. This

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Speaker 4: year marks twelve years together. And then you guys gave

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Speaker 4: first gave birth to your first child, Mateo on October first,

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Speaker 4: twenty twenty three. And the whole reason why I wanted

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Speaker 4: to have you on the podcast is because to me,

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Speaker 4: I find the idea of maternity leave so wildly fascinating.

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Speaker 4: I think, especially when for like a career woman like you,

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Speaker 4: who you work so hard, you work day in, day out,

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Speaker 4: and you've been like so career driven, and then you

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Speaker 4: have a baby and then what you just like turn

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Speaker 4: off all your emails and you just go.

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Speaker 2: Into like this abyss and then you just have to come.

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Speaker 3: Back to it.

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Speaker 2: Like I just the whole thing.

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Speaker 4: I remember when you came back from matruly, but I

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Speaker 4: wanted to ask you all these questions, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: I think this could be an interesting conversation on the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, for sure, you just like re emerge back

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Speaker 2: into your old life, or at least try to. But

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Speaker 2: I remember Tanya came to visit me maybe when Matteo

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Speaker 2: was like eight weeks old, and she's like, tell me everything.

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Speaker 2: She like looked into my soul and she was like,

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Speaker 2: how was it? What happened in the delivery? Like asking

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Speaker 2: me all these questions. I was like, Tanya, another day,

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Speaker 2: It's just another day. Today's the day. Ye wait.

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Speaker 1: So I've never even thought about the idea that you

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Speaker 1: go on maternity, Like do you just turn everything off?

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Speaker 5: You have to?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so, and it's not like my choice. So literally

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Speaker 2: the before you like before you deliver, you have to

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Speaker 2: give hr like a date of your last day, if

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Speaker 2: you even know what that is. Some people don't, obviously,

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Speaker 2: but once they find out that you're taking your maternity

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Speaker 2: day or leave starting this day the very that very day,

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Speaker 2: they completely shut off all your emails, so like you

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Speaker 2: have no access to anything. Yeah, you're just cut off

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Speaker 2: and then they tell you your coworker or they tell your

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Speaker 2: coworkers and your boss that they can't reach out to

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Speaker 2: you and about work or anything like that. And hopefully

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Speaker 2: some people like abide by that.

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Speaker 5: But but it's kind of weird too because a lot

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Speaker 5: of for a lot of people, your social circle is

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Speaker 5: your coworkers totally silence.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like our boss, she was like, how am I

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Speaker 2: not going to be able to talk to you? But

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Speaker 2: I think they do that from like a legality perspective,

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Speaker 2: but but yeah, I mean, uh yeah. So the day

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Speaker 2: that I went on attorney leave, which was on a Monday,

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Speaker 2: and I delivered him that Saturday, I had no access

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Speaker 2: to my emails.

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Speaker 6: That was it.

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Speaker 2: Bye.

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Speaker 5: And I remember this with Sicini and with Patty. Oh

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Speaker 5: and so we come back, how many emails did you have?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god? Talk about like the day I came

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Speaker 2: back from attorney leave and I turned on my emails,

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Speaker 2: I just instant sweat, like, yeah, I'm one of those

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Speaker 2: people that I don't leave. Like a notification like the

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Speaker 2: red flag gives me the worst anxiety. It was upwards

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Speaker 2: of like ten K plus, which is a big deal

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Speaker 2: for me. And so I just went to October November

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Speaker 2: and just deleted everything from those two months. I didn't

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Speaker 2: even look at them. There was no way I was

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Speaker 2: going to be able to and I just focused on

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Speaker 2: December and January. And that's kind of how I dealt

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Speaker 2: with that.

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Speaker 3: One of my emails, I have thirty two thousand.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, instant panic like that would drive me bonkers.

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Speaker 3: I don't even order to again. I'm too far gone.

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Speaker 3: I just let it in crime.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so okay, I want you to be like super

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Speaker 4: super honest, because these are thoughts that have like gone

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Speaker 4: on in my head. When you obviously after you have birth,

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Speaker 4: you just care about your baby. Were you even thinking

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Speaker 4: about work or like I think a lot of women

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Speaker 4: I think, and I know some women in the industry

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Speaker 4: that have gone on maternleave, they feel like they're not

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Speaker 4: threatened that they're not going to get their job back,

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Speaker 4: but like scared that whoever's replacing them is doing a

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Speaker 4: better job.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, totally. All that goes goes through your brain.

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Speaker 2: I think the wild and crazy thing is you have

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Speaker 2: your baby and then that week after and I don't

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Speaker 2: know how it is for different states, but this is

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Speaker 2: just for California. When you go on maternity leave. The

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Speaker 2: way you get paid is buy through state disability, and

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Speaker 2: you can't file for it until you have your baby,

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Speaker 2: and you have to do it within ten days of

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Speaker 2: having your baby. So it's like I think it's ten,

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Speaker 2: Either it's seven or ten. So literally, you have your

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Speaker 2: baby and the first the next day is like, oh, shoot,

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Speaker 2: I got a file for state. Like literally that's what

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Speaker 2: you have to do, and you have to get all

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Speaker 2: these papers from your doctor in the hospital and like

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Speaker 2: all this stuff to submit in order to get paid

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Speaker 2: or you know, to get money and survive. So literally

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Speaker 2: the first week after you're trying to deal with that

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Speaker 2: and like get all your paperwork together and like send

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Speaker 2: it into the state and like deal with all that

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Speaker 2: kind of stuff. And then after that you just you know,

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Speaker 2: are dealing with a baby. I would say I was

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Speaker 2: really really pleasantly surprised with myself because, like you said,

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Speaker 2: I for my whole life, I've been such a career

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Speaker 2: focused person. I thought it was gonna be really really

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Speaker 2: hard for me to step away and not be so involved.

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Speaker 2: But I was pleasantly surprised that like my priority completely shifted,

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Speaker 2: Like I didn't even think about work to be completely

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Speaker 2: honest with you. I had this little thing that was

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Speaker 2: taking my attention for twenty four hours a day, seven

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Speaker 2: days a week, and I would say like eight weeks in,

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Speaker 2: I slowly started to emerge out of the fog and

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Speaker 2: be like, Okay, what's going on, Like what's happening? On'scrubbing in?

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Speaker 2: You know, like let me listen to a podcast. You know,

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Speaker 2: you slowly start to emerge from the fog. But that

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Speaker 2: those first eight weeks at least for me, were just

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Speaker 2: hyper focused on trying to figure out this new reality

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Speaker 2: for myself. You know.

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Speaker 3: So what was it like when you come back?

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Speaker 1: You you open your email and you have all these

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Speaker 1: emails and you're going through it and then it's like

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Speaker 1: back to work and you I still have this tiny

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Speaker 1: human that you're, yeah, having to focus.

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Speaker 3: On twenty four seven So what's the balance.

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Speaker 2: So I will say, you know, everyone's everyone's different, because

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Speaker 2: some people take longer to get back to work. Some

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Speaker 2: people want to get back into work right away. I

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Speaker 2: took just over three and a half months of maternity leave,

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Speaker 2: and that felt like really good for me. I had

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Speaker 2: friends before tell me you have to take six months

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Speaker 2: or some friends like you you know, you're gonna want

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Speaker 2: to go back faster or whatever. It's just so different

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Speaker 2: for everybody. For me, that was a really good time

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Speaker 2: and I'm so fortunate that I found somebody who I

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Speaker 2: really love to take care of him during the week,

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Speaker 2: and that has been such a blessing. And the best

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Speaker 2: thing to come from COVID for me is the fact

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Speaker 2: that it gets to work from home. Yeah, yeah, so

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Speaker 2: I have I have like an office at my house,

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Speaker 2: and you know, the nanny is taking care of him

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Speaker 2: during the day. But like before each nap, I go

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Speaker 2: in and just like, hey, the day I'm here, I

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Speaker 2: love you give him acause like you know, like just

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Speaker 2: show him I'm still there and then go back to work,

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Speaker 2: you know, So I like get to see him all

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Speaker 2: the time. And I was and also once I'm done

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Speaker 2: with work, I I'm there. You know, I don't have

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Speaker 2: to drive home an hour, So I know, I'm like

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Speaker 2: super fortunate in that. But I was talking to my mom,

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Speaker 2: and my mom she was working in downtown LA when

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Speaker 2: I was born, and I live in where my parents

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Speaker 2: lived in the valley. It would take her an hour

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Speaker 2: and a half to get home from work, and she

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Speaker 2: would get home at six thirty at night and dinner

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Speaker 2: and go to bed, you know, and I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm so lucky that I'm able to

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Speaker 2: work from home. So I think, I think for me,

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Speaker 2: going back to work was very much welcomed. I was

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Speaker 2: excited to not talk about poopy diapers. I was excited

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Speaker 2: to like get a little bit of myself back and

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Speaker 2: you know, just exercise a different part of my brain

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Speaker 2: that I hadn't been for the last three four months.

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Speaker 2: So for me, I was really excited to go back

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Speaker 2: to work. But also I think if I wasn't working

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Speaker 2: from home, I would be an absolute basket case. Even

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Speaker 2: just being in a different room, I'm still looking at

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Speaker 2: the freaking security cameras and like his like little monitor

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Speaker 2: in his room, Like Okay, he's there, He's alive, you know.

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Speaker 2: Like it's just as a mom, your focus like just

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Speaker 2: is always. He's never not in my brain, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean. Like even when I'm going out, like

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Speaker 2: to dinner or something like that. If I if I

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Speaker 2: am able to go on a date night or something

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Speaker 2: like John has told me many times, put your phone away,

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Speaker 2: and like.

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Speaker 3: I just want to make sure he's still there.

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Speaker 2: That's it, you know, but it just never goes away.

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Speaker 2: Mark this many years later.

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Speaker 5: I'm going to college next year, but I'm looking at

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Speaker 5: Life three sixty making sure she's okay. We're supposed to be, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: for sure?

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Speaker 3: Crazy is Life three sixty?

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Speaker 5: Uh it's a it's an app, right, Yeah, it's a

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Speaker 5: helicopter parent app that allows you to track your kids. Mike,

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Speaker 5: I can get my kids and find my iPhone because

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Speaker 5: we have a family plan with Apple. But Life three

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Speaker 5: sixty tells you how fast they're going in their car.

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Speaker 5: It alerts you when they arrive at their destiny Life

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Speaker 5: to their battery Life on their phone. Oh as a

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Speaker 5: eight percent. But have her charge your phone? Yeah, all that.

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Speaker 3: Stuffy toney as well to have this on Robbie.

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Speaker 2: Could you imagine I'm like, slow down, babe. It's creepy

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Speaker 2: until it's not right, Like, you know, it's creepy that

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Speaker 2: I'm looking at my phone all the time and just

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Speaker 2: looking at the monitor. But also it's what if, you know,

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Speaker 2: like what if an earthquake happens again and you want

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Speaker 2: to make sure your kid's okay? Okay, I want to

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Speaker 2: talk about the actual birth.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I know what do you want to know, like

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Speaker 4: you're gonna tell it to us, Like, yeah, this.

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Speaker 5: Feels like something we should come back for.

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Speaker 6: Okay, yeah yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: All right, we're back. So Tanya is ready to get into.

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Speaker 4: I want to know the nitty gritty because I feel

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Speaker 4: like every time I watch somebody on Instagram that's like

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Speaker 4: having a baby, it's like what's in my hospital bag?

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Speaker 4: And it's like these cute little outfits and like this

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Speaker 4: lipstick and stuff, And I'm like this doesn't seem to me,

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Speaker 4: like it's actually the reality of what's going on. So like,

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Speaker 4: give us the real deal, like what are you packing?

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Speaker 4: Like what did you need to pack for the hospital?

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Speaker 4: Did you rip like all the stume? I yeah, no,

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Speaker 4: I'll tell it all to you.

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Speaker 2: So I I kind of went into birth a little

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Speaker 2: half like half backwards, like I was crossing my the

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Speaker 2: thought of labor petrified me me too, and I was

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Speaker 2: crossing my fingers that my son would be breached so

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Speaker 2: that I can have a C section. Like I was like,

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Speaker 2: please don't want to see sign. No, I know exactly

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Speaker 2: that's my point, but for me, I was just like please,

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Speaker 2: like please make me have to have a sea section

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Speaker 2: like that, I just wanted to go in and know

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Speaker 2: the day that I was going to deliver and that

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Speaker 2: I'm having surgery and all that kind of stuff. And

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Speaker 2: I do know that that is like a treacherous path

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Speaker 2: like that the women that have gone through C sections.

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Speaker 2: It is a recovery and a recovery and a half.

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Speaker 2: It's just so gnarly. But for me, in my OCD brain, like,

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Speaker 2: I liked the fact of Okay, this is the date

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Speaker 2: that you go in and you know whatever. So three

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Speaker 2: weeks before my due date, my doctor was like, if

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Speaker 2: he doesn't flip by this time, then we're gonna have

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Speaker 2: to have a sea section. I was like, okay, great, like,

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Speaker 2: no problem, sounds good. I go into that appointment and

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Speaker 2: he freaking flipped and she was like, you can have

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Speaker 2: a natural brother, so excited. Isn't this amazing? I just

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Speaker 2: looked at her. I was like, oh my god, no,

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Speaker 2: like this ugh, But looking back on it, go So

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Speaker 2: I went into I went into labor being completely terrified.

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Speaker 2: And it didn't help that he was almost a week late,

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Speaker 2: so I had like all these I was just ready

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Speaker 2: for it to just happen already, and just kept waiting,

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Speaker 2: kept waiting, kept waiting, kept waiting. When it came to

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Speaker 2: the actual labor, it was it was gnarly. I'm not

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Speaker 2: gonna lie like it was the whole like contractions and

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Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff. I went into the hospital

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Speaker 2: and my nurse was she was like, okay, well you're,

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Speaker 2: you know, just under four centimeters dilated. Do you want epidurl?

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Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, I want epidol, Like give

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Speaker 2: it to me now. So she's like okay, great. She's

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Speaker 2: like it takes about thirty minutes for them to come,

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Speaker 2: you know, come to your room, so just hang in there,

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Speaker 2: like okay. She comes back thirty minutes later and she

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Speaker 2: is literally scrubbed head to like she's in scrubs head

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Speaker 2: to toe, like hairnet on, like the full thing. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, she's gonna tell me

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to have an emergency C section, Like

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Speaker 2: why is she? She literally looked like she was in hasmatsu.

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Speaker 2: And she was like, okay, Danielle, a little bit of

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Speaker 2: bad news. You're gonna have to wait for an epidol.

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Speaker 2: I was like, what do you mean. She's like, we

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Speaker 2: have two emergencies on the floor right now. That the

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Speaker 2: anteziologist has to cater to so you're gonna have to

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Speaker 2: wait like you're not an emergency. So I waited two

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Speaker 2: hours for an epidurl and for our listeners that are

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Speaker 2: listening right now that have gone through this. I went

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Speaker 2: from four centimeters to just about six centimeters without an epidurol,

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Speaker 2: and that is gnarly like women that have had that

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Speaker 2: have natural births without any kind of drugs or anything

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Speaker 2: like that. Like I tip my hat off to you.

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Speaker 2: You are miracle women in my eyes, like, oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: But the second I got the epidural, I was flying high.

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Speaker 3: Like it was great.

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Speaker 2: I was cracking jokes with any nurse that came in,

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Speaker 2: like I was just like, today's the best day ever.

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Speaker 2: I also helped that My antetysiologist was like the cutest ever.

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Speaker 3: I was like, lovely, he was really cute.

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Speaker 2: On I was like, he's so cute.

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Speaker 3: Did you feel the epidural needle?

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Speaker 2: Honestly I didn't. I didn't, but I think because I

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Speaker 2: was having such bad contractions that nothing was more painful

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Speaker 2: than that. People feel that needle. It's like this big,

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Speaker 2: it's huge, it's massive. I didn't feel anything.

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Speaker 5: That tells you how much pain. Yeah, the contractions are

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Speaker 5: that you don't feel the need.

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Speaker 2: Didn't feel anything nothing.

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Speaker 5: Why did you go to the hospital in the first place.

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Speaker 5: Did your water break?

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Speaker 2: Oh? So I had a scheduled induction, and so our

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Speaker 2: plan was always to go to the hospital that day,

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Speaker 2: but I ended up going into labor that morning of

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Speaker 2: my of my scheduled induction date. So yeah, that's.

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Speaker 5: Why you just feel the contractions.

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Speaker 2: No, it didn't break.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 5: By the way, just a side little story. My wife

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Speaker 5: when she got her epidural, it was an older doctor

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Speaker 5: training a younger doctor and how to do an epidural,

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Speaker 5: and it didn't take.

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Speaker 2: That's no, you don't want anybody training to do any training.

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Speaker 3: I don't want training.

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Speaker 5: We thought people know what they're doing. We've never had

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Speaker 5: a baby before, and so it didn't work, and so everything.

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Speaker 5: They came back and did it again later, but very

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Speaker 5: quickly after that, they we went into the they removed

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Speaker 5: us from wherever we were, a new different room. She

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Speaker 5: felt everything, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, dang, dang,

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Speaker 5: is right.

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Speaker 2: I'd be so mad.

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Speaker 5: She wasn't happy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but some people that get the epidural, it just

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Speaker 2: doesn't work. On them either like that is a very

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Speaker 2: real thing because they're like so hard like they can

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Speaker 2: take it, or it just doesn't hit the right nerve.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but but yeah, like in Mark's wife's.

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Speaker 1: Case, can you describe what a contraction feels like? Where

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Speaker 1: does it where?

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Speaker 2: Where?

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Speaker 3: Like where all does it hurt?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: It depends what stage you're in. In the beginning, it's

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Speaker 2: like your cramps times ten, and then they just get worse,

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Speaker 2: and then your back gets involved. And when your back

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Speaker 2: gets involved, it's like all hell breaks list. That's when

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Speaker 2: it hurts so bad because it's not only that cramp

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Speaker 2: that you're you're used to feeling in like your uterus,

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Speaker 2: but it's also your entire back like just ill think

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Speaker 2: of like a muscle spasm, like like all of that

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Speaker 2: in your lower back, in your in your uterus, just

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Speaker 2: all of that area.

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Speaker 3: And it's because the baby's like coming down and.

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Speaker 2: Yeah and putting so much pressure so weak yeah weak.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Like did you put when you when it

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Speaker 1: happened where you're like, I just did that.

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Speaker 2: So there's a couple of funny things. Because I had

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Speaker 2: my mom and my husband with me, and I love

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Speaker 2: my mom so much. And then she listens, I'm saying

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Speaker 2: this with like all all love in my heart. I

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Speaker 2: love you so much and thank you so much for

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Speaker 2: being there for me. She was like, I almost cussed

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Speaker 2: her out. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: She was.

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Speaker 2: I had one guideline for both of them, like don't

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Speaker 2: look below, like, don't look you're paying attention to me,

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Speaker 2: don't look down there, like please the doctor. She the

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Speaker 2: doctor was like, oh, your baby has hair. My mom

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Speaker 2: literally was like, oh my god, and just like totally

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Speaker 2: look down there. I'm like, oh, so that was that

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Speaker 2: was strike number one. Strike number two. She was like,

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Speaker 2: this was like game time, like pushing hard. A baby

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Speaker 2: is almost out, and I look over my mom's texting

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, Yolanda, who.

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Speaker 6: Are you texting?

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Speaker 2: It's more important than me right now. And She's like

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Speaker 2: everyone's just asking me what's going on. I just want

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Speaker 2: to give them updates.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I don't care about them.

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Speaker 2: Put your phone away, like you're not allowed to have

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Speaker 2: your phone. And then after that it was fine. But

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Speaker 2: she was in charge of taking photos and oh my god, John,

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Speaker 2: when we look at my camera, roll, John and I

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Speaker 2: are just we just cry laughing because They're the most unflattering.

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Speaker 3: In the entire world. I look like I'm.

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Speaker 2: Miserable, which I was, and about to die, like it

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Speaker 2: was just but at the end of the day, like

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Speaker 2: I'm so I'm so happy I had my mom there because, yeah,

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Speaker 2: when I got the epidol or right before, cause you're

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Speaker 2: allowed to like keep pressing for the epidol, I think

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Speaker 2: I got to the point where I had too much

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Speaker 2: in me and I just started like shaking uncontrollably, and

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Speaker 2: that was really scary. And John was like, is she okay?

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Speaker 2: She having a seizure? Like I just like had no

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Speaker 2: control of my limbs, and that happened to my mom.

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Speaker 2: So my mom was like, this is just reaction to

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Speaker 2: the epidural. Everything's fine. This happened to me. So, you know,

404
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Speaker 2: having having her there who had gone through it was

405
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Speaker 2: very comforting.

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Speaker 3: Break me up shaking and be like, what's happening to me?

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Speaker 2: Am I And you also like you can feel, but

408
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Speaker 2: you can't feel at the same time, you know, so

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Speaker 2: you're like, all these limbs that I can't feel are

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Speaker 2: just shaking, and you're just you know, you're just waiting

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Speaker 2: for this little kid to pop out. But yeah, damn,

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Speaker 2: I know, I know. But then he came and he

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Speaker 2: was luckily like no complications. That the one thing that

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Speaker 2: was scary, you know, right before, right before you're about

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Speaker 2: to push, the doctor's like okay, you know, like a

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Speaker 2: couple more pushes and he's there, and all these like

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Speaker 2: nurses just come rushing in and there's like these like

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Speaker 2: eight strangers in the room that you've never seen before,

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Speaker 2: just looking at your huha and just like standing by

420
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Speaker 2: just nodding their heads, and you know, they're there just

421
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Speaker 2: in case anything happens to you know, check all the

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Speaker 2: things like the breathing and his vitals and all that

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Speaker 2: kind of stuff. But then yeah, once the baby comes out,

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Speaker 2: they that was just like a complete rush. He was

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Speaker 2: plopped right on top of my chest and again I'm

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Speaker 2: shaking so bad that like I'm just like trying to

427
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Speaker 2: hold on but also completely enamored that like yeah, you know,

428
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Speaker 2: and and I just remember don being like he has

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Speaker 2: your feet and like, oh my god, he has my feet,

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Speaker 2: you know, just like the weirdest things like you just

431
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Speaker 2: start to notice. And that was just surreal because there's

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Speaker 2: all these just people running around like just making sure,

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Speaker 2: you know, like one nurse was like sucking mucus out

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Speaker 2: of his nose and another one was wiping them off

435
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,120
Speaker 2: while all this while like on top of my chest.

436
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 2: Are they doing to you? So your legs are so open? Yeah,

437
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,479
Speaker 2: your legs are still open. You still have to deliver

438
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,719
Speaker 2: your placenta. So like that was another push that I like,

439
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 2: within twenty minutes, you usually deliver your placenta, so you're

440
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 2: not done with your birth at all. You have to

441
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 2: push off. Yeah, do you guys want to see what

442
00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:58,679
Speaker 2: it looks like?

443
00:22:58,880 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 5: It hurt?

444
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 2: It doesn't. That doesn't hurt because it's just this like

445
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 2: slimy thing. Do you eat that? Or people eat that? Right?

446
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 3: People do?

447
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 2: They like? Yeah, they like dry it out. I didn't know,

448
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 2: but I did.

449
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 5: I'm so curious how it tastes.

450
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 2: Well, I can tell you that you put it in pills.

451
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,359
Speaker 5: Oh you don't just like it up.

452
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 2: And I'm having placenta. No, it's like these like little

453
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 2: capsules that they can like make turn it into and stuff. Yeah.

454
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,359
Speaker 2: But like but to that point, you're you know, you

455
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: have you have this like baby on top of you

456
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 2: and you're trying to, you know, just understand what just

457
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 2: happened to you and while this is all happening, your

458
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 2: doctor is still delivering your placenta. If you tore, they're

459
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 2: stitching you up. And also like you have a nurse

460
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 2: that's just like digging into your like into your uterus

461
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 2: and like just taking all the because they have to

462
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 2: get all the stuff out, so like they're just like

463
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 2: basically like, oh, my massaging, but really it's like somebody

464
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,640
Speaker 2: is like really pushing into your apnom to get all

465
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 2: the stuff out. You felt it, it was like super yeah,

466
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 2: it was you know, super like it was a lot

467
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 2: of pressure. But I was just so overwhelmed. Like I

468
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 2: have this one nurse like really digging into my stomach,

469
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,520
Speaker 2: my doctor stitching me up. I have the baby on

470
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 2: top of me. They're trying to like make me breastfeed

471
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 2: the baby, you know, just start that. They're just checking

472
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 2: his vitals, they're checking my vitals. Like all this stuff

473
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: is happening. It's a big tornado of just chaos, but

474
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 2: it's also so beautiful at the same time. You know,

475
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 2: at that at that moment, you're holding your baby, like right,

476
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 2: you know, that is so wild.

477
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 1: Okay, So you get home, By the way, your faces

478
00:24:58,920 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: aren't great either.

479
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 5: You might actually have to do this one day.

480
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 2: I will do this very soon.

481
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 4: So that's why I'm like asking all the questions because

482
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 4: I don't believe what I see on Instagram.

483
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, and oh my gosh, like when Sophia Richie announced

484
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 2: that she was pregnant and had that photo, Sho'm like, God,

485
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 2: bless her, she looks so beautiful. I did not look

486
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 2: like that a day in my pregnancy.

487
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 3: You did, we know, were gorgeous.

488
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 2: But like what you see on Instagram. No, I mean even,

489
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 2: like back to your question about the hospital bag, I followed.

490
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 2: I followed like so many influencers that had all these

491
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,360
Speaker 2: things where you should put your hospital bag, and I

492
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 2: did it, did it all. I even took a pink

493
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 2: Kimmel and salt lamp because I heard that it's like which,

494
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 2: by the way, for everyone listening, that was probably my

495
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 2: favorite thing I packed. I would actually highly encourage that

496
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: because instead of you know, those like bright white lights

497
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 2: in the room being on, we had like a pink

498
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 2: glow in our room.

499
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 4: It was nice, wow, relaxing. It was very relaxing. Sounds

500
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 4: so unnecessary, it was amazing. It was honestly probably the

501
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 4: best thing I packed. I did not touch any like

502
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 4: even they.

503
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 2: Have a going home outfit for your baby, going home

504
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: outfit for mom. I said, screw the going outfit for

505
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 2: my mom. For me, I'm just wearing the most comfortable

506
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 2: shirt I can find. And same with my baby. I

507
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 2: didn't even put the baby in a going home outfit.

508
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 2: I just like ditched all of that, just all of it.

509
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 2: Just get us home, get us home, Get us home.

510
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 3: What was your comfort?

511
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: What was your comfort like thing that you did while

512
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 1: you were home, So like when he was sleeping and

513
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: you were resting, were you watching TV shows?

514
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 3: Were you reading? What were you doing?

515
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I was. I'm a Bravo freak and

516
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 2: I was behind months Like I think I just slowly

517
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 2: started watching shows again. Honestly, No, nothing really, I like,

518
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 2: I can't there wasn't there was like tvOS watching or

519
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 2: anything like that. It's kind of crazy. You're like sucked

520
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 2: into this vortex where twenty four hours a day is

521
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 2: is you're doing something you've never done before, you know,

522
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 2: so like whether it's breastfeeding or changing a diaper or

523
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 2: just trying to get sleep. Like I honestly, the comfort

524
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 2: was like trying to get some sleep. Yeah, you know,

525
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: like really when you're not fully focused on this kid,

526
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 2: like either my husband or I were taking turns just sleeping.

527
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, the sleep part feels overwhelmed me. Ye, are y'all

528
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: in a routine now? Or are he's sleeping? Like are

529
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 1: you getting sleep?

530
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 5: Yeah?

531
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 2: Okay, God blessed. He's sleeping through the he's sleeping through

532
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 2: the night, and he's great. And he he goes down

533
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,199
Speaker 2: around like seven thirty and wakes up around six, So

534
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 2: I mean, what a dream? Yeah, so he's green.

535
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 6: Who are the.

536
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 4: People like that you followed or books that you read

537
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 4: or like Instagram people that you followed, or podcasts that

538
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 4: you listen to that actually you feel like gave you

539
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 4: good tips on pregnancy.

540
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 2: Yeah. I have this book Mom's on Call, and people

541
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,199
Speaker 2: that have babies will automatically know what that is. And

542
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 2: if you don't get their book, it's basically this like

543
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 2: tiny book that Okay, your baby has a fever, this

544
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: is what you do? You know, like no frills, nothing,

545
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 2: It's just a little baby guide and it also has

546
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 2: you know, sleep schedules things like that to try to

547
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: get your baby on routine. And I just follow that

548
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 2: religiously and I swear by it. There are some some

549
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 2: Instagram actually one of this this one girl, she's right

550
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 2: here in Studio City. Let me want to get her

551
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 2: Instagram right Wilder Beginnings. She had her baby the day

552
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: after me, so I have been following her and she

553
00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 2: just is not your Instagram influencer. She just shows you

554
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 2: that her baby didn't sleep through the night, is throwing

555
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 2: up all over her, has a rash, you know, like

556
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 2: all the things that are actually happening to me, you know,

557
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: and she just there's no filter. It's just all her

558
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 2: and what's actually happening in their lives. And that, you know,

559
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: was really helpful for me because for a second, and

560
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 2: we can talk about this, but like the one the

561
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 2: one I would say when I the one thing I

562
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 2: was the most worried about going into maternity leave was

563
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 2: having postpartum depression. That was the one thing I was like,

564
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I feel like I'm going to get that.

565
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: Like I don't know why. I was just very anxious

566
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 2: about getting that. I was pleasantly surprised that I the

567
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 2: second he was born, I immediately gravitated towards my baby,

568
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 2: and that's not the case for a lot of people.

569
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 2: So I felt that love there and I was very

570
00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 2: very much drawn to and I loved being a mom.

571
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 2: I loved the new normal. I loved how my life

572
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 2: has shifted like that. I wasn't mourning the loss of

573
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 2: my old life. But the one thing that was like

574
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 2: incredibly hard for me that was not on my bingo

575
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:18,719
Speaker 2: card is when my husband went back to work. I

576
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 2: was so not ready for that. For a month. That

577
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 2: first month, which is the hardest month, you know, you're

578
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 2: trying to get used to having a baby and get

579
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 2: used to feeding and all that kind of stuff, was

580
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 2: honestly kind of fine for me because I had my

581
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 2: partner and it was a teamwork mentality. You know, Okay,

582
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 2: you do the diaper, I'll do the feed. You go

583
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 2: to sleep, I will go you know. It was just

584
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 2: very much like I had my partner in this and

585
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: we were tackling it together and it was amazing and

586
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 2: we're just trying to figure this out, you know, the

587
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 2: chaos of it all. But the second he went back

588
00:30:55,080 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: to work, I felt very left behind. I could get

589
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,719
Speaker 2: like emotional talking about it. But it was like the

590
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 2: one the one time in like the pregnancy and the

591
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 2: attorney leave, where I felt that like it was just

592
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 2: me and and I knew that was in the case,

593
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 2: and you, I had my husband. I knew I could

594
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: call my mom, and you had my son and all

595
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. But I felt like he went

596
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 2: back to work and he got himself back a little bit,

597
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 2: and I was still just in the trenches by myself,

598
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 2: and that was like really hard for me. And I

599
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,239
Speaker 2: think during that time, you expect your partner to be

600
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 2: like a mind reader and like to understand what's going

601
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 2: on and like, oh yeah, I needed to give an

602
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: yell some kind of love or whatever. But we fell

603
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 2: into this like routine where he would come home from

604
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 2: work and be like, oh god, I'm so tired. I'm like,

605
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:58,719
Speaker 2: you sure aren't tired. I'm tired, you know, or like

606
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: or you know, like just being having that anxiety. If

607
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 2: something were to happen when I'm watching him by myself,

608
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 2: it's on me, right, you know, So you felt this,

609
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 2: you feel this like overwhelming sense of like pressure but

610
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 2: also like pressure by yourself. Yeah, you know, so we

611
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 2: had to have this, like had to have We had

612
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 2: a conversation. I was like, look, I'm struggling right now,

613
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 2: Like I feel very alone, I feel very left behind.

614
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 2: I feel like you're finally getting back to you know,

615
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:41,719
Speaker 2: you're having conversations with normal people and you're socializing. You

616
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 2: get to go out of the house, you get to

617
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: put on an outfit, you know, But like here I am,

618
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 2: I could barely take it. If I even get to

619
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 2: take a shower, get to take a shower. I'm eating

620
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 2: with one hand twenty four to seven because you only

621
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 2: have one hand because you're carrying the baby in the

622
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 2: other hand. Like, naps are not a thing, you know,

623
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: like when they're napping, your pumping or washing your bottles

624
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 2: or you know whatever, Like there's no break for mom

625
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: at all. And it just made me realize, like, for

626
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 2: everyone that's a stay at home mom that is listening

627
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:19,719
Speaker 2: right now, your job never ends. It is twenty four

628
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 2: to seven. And I literally want to give you guys

629
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 2: the biggest hug because it's the hardest job out there,

630
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 2: Oh my god, beyond hardest job is being a stay

631
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: at home mom.

632
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 4: How long was that time that so John went back

633
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 4: to work? Yeah, and then how long were you until

634
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 4: you went back to work? Two more months?

635
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 3: Yeah?

636
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 2: So he went back to work a month after and

637
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 2: then yeah, it was about like two two and a

638
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 2: half months.

639
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 4: But then when you finally opened up to him and

640
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 4: told him how you were feeling, how did you guys?

641
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I told him. I was just like, I

642
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: feel like my only identity is taking care of him,

643
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 2: which I'm more than happy to do, but like I

644
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 2: am so resentful and so jealous that you get to

645
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 2: do something else and still get to be Mateo's dad,

646
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 2: you know, like I'm only Mateo's mom right now. Like

647
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 2: that's all I am like, because at that point you're

648
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 2: not clear to work out, You're not clear to you know,

649
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 2: do a lot of things. So once I got cleared

650
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,919
Speaker 2: to work out, that was kind of like my thing.

651
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 2: So John would get home from work, no questions asked,

652
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 2: he had to take the baby for an hour, like,

653
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 2: no questions asked, get home, here's the baby. I'm going

654
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 2: on a walk, I'm going on a run. I'm doing

655
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 2: something for myself. So that was like my one role

656
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 2: that when I got when he got home from work,

657
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 2: I needed to do something just for Danielle, just you know,

658
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 2: whatever that meant. I had to do it for my

659
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 2: own mental sanity, and even if that just meant watching TV,

660
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 2: you know, like whatever, just something where I can just

661
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 2: do it by myself. And then another rule that we

662
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 2: had was if I'm nursing the baby, if I'm changing

663
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 2: his dipe or whatever, you need to do something else

664
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 2: to let the work like be done. Like that sounds weird,

665
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 2: but like if I'm putting down the baby, wash the

666
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 2: bottles so that once I'm done putting down the baby,

667
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 2: we can watch TV together, you know, like the job's

668
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 2: not done until both of our jobs are done.

669
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 3: Like lighten the load while I'm doing one thing exactly.

670
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was that was like another turning point

671
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 2: for us, Like the second I put down the baby,

672
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 2: like I wanted to be able to just like be done,

673
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 2: just having some rest and not having to go into

674
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 2: the kitchen and make the bottles for the next day

675
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,280
Speaker 2: or clean all the bottle parts or the pumping parts,

676
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 2: you know that kind of stuff. Like coming back out

677
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 2: and having a clean kitchen was the big deal. Yeah.

678
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just glad that you have a partner that

679
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 3: wants you.

680
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 1: I know, that feeling of like when I'm expecting Haley

681
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: to read my mind, of like she should know that

682
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 1: I need a little extra something, and like knowing that

683
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 1: you have a partner that you once you communicated that that,

684
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 1: it was like here, here's what I need. Oh yeah,

685
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: also like I'm gonna make this time for me and

686
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 1: I need you to like be my teammate.

687
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know really And it was like this like

688
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 2: weird guilt because I acknowledged that I was jealous of

689
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 2: the fact that he was he was able to be

690
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 2: outside of the house, you know what I mean. And

691
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 2: for me, I'm like, I'm in your mom. I should

692
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 2: love this, you know, like I should love like being

693
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 2: around him twenty four seven. And I do. But at

694
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 2: a certain point, you also need time for yourself. Yeah,

695
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 2: and he was getting that eight hours a day. Yeah,

696
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 2: and I wasn't, you know.

697
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 3: And he's like I'm exhausted, and You're like, I've I'm so.

698
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 2: Excited, like a guess an end. And again he's valid

699
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 2: to be totally right, Like he also wasn't sleeping at

700
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,399
Speaker 2: night and had to go to work. But you don't

701
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 2: say that to me wrong, audience, your friend.

702
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I always say I think that being a

703
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,280
Speaker 1: stay at home mom is the hardest job that someone

704
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: could have. Like, you know, when I used to nanny,

705
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: I would, you know, nanny for eight hours and then

706
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: they'd come home and I'd go back to my you know, life,

707
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:33,280
Speaker 1: and it.

708
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,760
Speaker 3: Was it's so exhausted.

709
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 1: They weren't my kids, but it was exhausting, and I'm like,

710
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 1: if it's just you and them my sister, yes.

711
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 3: Five kids.

712
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 5: And my mom.

713
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 3: And I was like, how do you not? Like, yeah,

714
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 3: she's a teacher. Now I'm like, how are you around

715
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,879
Speaker 3: kids anymore? I feel like I'm done.

716
00:37:54,880 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 1: I'm done, But I am just like so impressed and

717
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 1: wild by you because I feel like you are such

718
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: a grounded person and I feel like you're patient and

719
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: you were made to be a mom, but you're also

720
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: such a successful career woman and I'm so happy you

721
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 1: have an amazing partner and you've like navigated this with

722
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: so much grace and honesty too, and vulnerability because I

723
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,919
Speaker 1: do think we see on Instagram and I think more

724
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: than ever social media is you're hearing more about the

725
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 1: real parts more than ever, but it still can look

726
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 1: very glossy.

727
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 4: No, And that's why I really was excited to have

728
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 4: you on because I think, I mean, I've known you

729
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 4: forever and I just feel like I really value you.

730
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 4: I value what you say, what you've done, because I

731
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 4: just feel like you are all those things, like you're

732
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 4: a great person, you're a great mom, you're a great worker,

733
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 4: and so I just like was really interested to hear

734
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 4: kind of your story and like learn from you. But

735
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 4: I also want to know if you could do anything differently,

736
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 4: would you do something different and what would it be.

737
00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 2: I don't think I would do anything differently, but I

738
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 2: would just want to remind myself that each day is

739
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 2: a new day. So if you had the most amazing

740
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,800
Speaker 2: day with your baby, everything is going to write according

741
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 2: to plan exactly how you want it to happen, and

742
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 2: then the next day it doesn't. It's okay, you know,

743
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 2: baby is a baby. I think that was the one

744
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 2: thing that I was like so hard on myself. What

745
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 2: did I do today that didn't make Matao sleep on time?

746
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 2: Or like you know, I was just like constantly second

747
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 2: guessing everything, like why is today such a bad day?

748
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 2: Sometimes some days babies have bad days. Some days they

749
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 2: don't want to go down for their naps. Sometimes they

750
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:38,800
Speaker 2: don't want to eat when you want them to eat.

751
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 2: Like that was the one thing I just realized is like,

752
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 2: they're never going to be on my schedule. I have

753
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,880
Speaker 2: to be okay with that, Yeah, you know, but just

754
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 2: you know, you are thankful for the good days, but

755
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 2: also don't be hard so hard on yourself on the

756
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 2: bad days. It's all just a constant journey and you

757
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,240
Speaker 2: just take take a day by ta. That's it.

758
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 5: Does Matello have a nook or binkie pacifier? I have

759
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 5: a tip only because my wife came up with us

760
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 5: and it's so genius and it really helped us up. Yes,

761
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 5: but I'm getting to that. So what what she did

762
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 5: was because in the crib, my daughter would lose the

763
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 5: what do you call it?

764
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 2: We call it a cheppy Okay.

765
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,479
Speaker 5: She would lose the choopy in the corners of the mattress. Yeah,

766
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 5: and then she'd get up and cry and scream until

767
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 5: we came in. She also had a lovey. Does he

768
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 5: have a lovey?

769
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 2: He doesn't have one yet, but we have them. He

770
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:32,319
Speaker 2: just yeah, he doesn't.

771
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 5: His little Teddy bear head on the blanket and blanket

772
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 5: with a Teddy Bear head on it. And so she

773
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 5: tied the She tied the choopy to the corner to

774
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 5: one of the corners of the blanket on the levee.

775
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 5: That way, it's not going to get stuck down the

776
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 5: mattress and so we'd see her on the on the mound.

777
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 2: They have those now.

778
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 5: Where they're built like that.

779
00:40:51,239 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 2: Well, the pacifiers have like a stuffed animal attached to it.

780
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,320
Speaker 5: But we see it, we look around for and that

781
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 5: you find the stuff then and won't let you go

782
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 5: corner corner there it is, pop back in her mouth

783
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,240
Speaker 5: and go right back to sleep without bothering anything.

784
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

785
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 5: But the great thing is then when it was time

786
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 5: to give up the cheopy, it wasn't about her giving

787
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 5: up the cheopy lovey. It's time for love to give up.

788
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,919
Speaker 2: Oh that's so cute, and you're to be.

789
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 5: There for love to help him through this. And it

790
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 5: was a very smooth process with both kids because if

791
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 5: you do it that way, it just seemed to work

792
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 5: much better. So New Moms is my wife's one hundred

793
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 5: percent credit, totally her idea, and it worked so beautifully.

794
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 2: That's smart.

795
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 3: They when they got when they started.

796
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:37,720
Speaker 5: Three three oh dark, we're really goes earlier.

797
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 2: We're trying to transition into his own room right now,

798
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 2: which I think this weekend it's going to happen. Yeah,

799
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 2: in the room with you.

800
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

801
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, they stay in like the best matter.

802
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, wait, how has the dog handled the

803
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:55,320
Speaker 1: shift of attention?

804
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,720
Speaker 4: So Boots is sixteen years old or not fifteen? Sorry,

805
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 4: he's fifteen years old. He could care less. Oh yeah, baby,

806
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 4: he looks at the baby.

807
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 2: Sometimes he'll sniff him, and sometimes he'll give him a

808
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 2: little wick and then just walks away and mind his

809
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 2: own business. We were actually really nervous about him, like

810
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 2: when we were to bring the baby home and the crying,

811
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 2: how he was going to adjust to that. He just

812
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 2: kind of like buries himself into his bed and just

813
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 2: like it's like okay, here, we are here. Yeah. He

814
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 2: just you know, looks and gives him some attention, but

815
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 2: keeps his keeps his distance.

816
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,719
Speaker 1: He's like, this isn't this isn't mine to take care of.

817
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: I'm still I'm the oldest baby.

818
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. Well, Danielle, we love you.

819
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 4: Thank you, love so much for scrubbing In, Thank you

820
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 4: for steering this ship.

821
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:51,919
Speaker 1: And so many podcasts, many podcast that's your favorite scrubbing in?

822
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 1: What just for people who don't know, like what are

823
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 1: like names some of the podcasts, because I feel like

824
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,319
Speaker 1: people listen to multiple.

825
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 5: Nowhere from em all in. He is an actual personality

826
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:07,800
Speaker 5: and I am all in Gilmore Girls, Rewatch, poc Yes, show.

827
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 4: No, we do like Jahn mc queen's and Podmeats World.

828
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 4: I am paris h What else east did help me?

829
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 4: Bethony Frankel's Slater show Suckers.

830
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 3: There's a lot busy. We have a busy group of

831
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:26,879
Speaker 3: people in this room.

832
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 5: Er Amy and TJ Amy Sugarman in Easton and I

833
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 5: were involved at the beginning when we started these podcasts

834
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 5: in twenty seventeen and a couple of years later. Did

835
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 5: you start when nineteen? You came back nineteen and Amy

836
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 5: said to me, I guess who's coming back to work

837
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:43,839
Speaker 5: on the podcast? And I said, I have no idea.

838
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 5: She was no, you have to guess. I said, well,

839
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 5: how am I going to guess? I don't know? And

840
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 5: Amy goes, who's our favorite person? Daniel podcast.

841
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: I had asked Amy for a referral for a different

842
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 2: job and she's like, are you looking for a job?

843
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 2: And I was, well, I'm looking for this job and

844
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 2: she's like, well I have a different job. I'm like okay,

845
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 2: and here I am. Here she is and all her glory.

846
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 3: We're very grateful for you. Thank you for sharing, and

847
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 3: we love you. We're so proud of you and happy

848
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 3: for you and thank you.

849
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, we love you so much, love you, and.

850
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,280
Speaker 3: We love you guys.

851
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 6: Love you very weekend next week.

852
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 5: Bye,