WEBVTT - GECKLINE (with Dr. Drew) 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.720 Hey, guys, it's Lyle. I just want to give a 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:05.800 quick heads up about a couple of things before we 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:07.040 get into the episode. 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:07.440 Uh. 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:11.840 The first thing is that I have a new schedule 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:15.360 of how I'm going to be doing the podcast. I 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:21.560 believe what we're gonna start doing is posting twice a 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:29.040 week with shorter episodes. Ideally, we're gonna be doing one 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:33.360 a week where it's just me, and then one a 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:37.519 week where it's the guest. So that's twice a week, 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:41.160 one just me, one with the guest. In the event 0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:44.040 that there I don't have a guest booked that week, 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:49.879 it'll just be two shorter episodes that are just me. 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:54.520 So think you know, two one hours, forty five minutes, 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:56.880 hour and a half, whatever it is. But I just 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.400 want to let you guys know that that moving forward, 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:03.960 they will be more get content available. 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:05.400 For your ears. 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:09.319 If you've already listened to all of the back catalog, 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:11.840 you know, I do this podcast out of my stream 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:16.800 and I stream for about two hours twice a week, 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:21.000 And ideally my schedules is gonna be I'm gonna take 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.200 those streams and I'm gonna cut each one down and 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:26.560 put each of them up as a podcast each week, 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:34.920 and we will have more audio gecko words from my 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.000 mouth and the caller's mouths and the guests mouths and 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:43.720 everyone's mouths all coming together to spit words and sentences 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:47.520 into your ears. Okay, that's the first thing. The second 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:52.720 thing is I want to introduce the guest for this 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:57.080 evening because it's a very very special episode. And I'll 0:01:57.080 --> 0:01:59.720 tell you, guys why. My guest for this episode is 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:05.160 doctor Drew Pinsky. So the reason why this is so 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:11.679 freaking cool is that doctor Drew Pinsky, along with Adam Carolla, 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:18.280 was the host of a very popular old school radio 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:22.880 call in show called Loveline, which has been going on 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.840 since like nineteen eighty four, and it was it was 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:30.600 huge in the nineties and the early two thousands, and 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:35.560 it was kind of like the show basically was doctor 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:38.760 Drew and Adam Carolla doing essentially the same thing that 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:43.480 I do on this show, where they take inquiries from 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:50.560 callers about various subject matter relating to various topics. And 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:55.000 this episode was so cool because doctor Drew, first of all, 0:02:55.200 --> 0:03:01.760 is a actual bored, certified doctor who has actual knowledge, 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:05.560 decades of knowledge to draw from when he's taking these 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:10.440 calls and he's just been in radio and TV and 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:15.440 podcasting for thirty years. And this episode was really cool 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.960 because I feel like Therapy Gecko in a way is 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:23.519 like a spiritual successor to a lot of what doctor 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:26.960 Drew was doing on Loveline, except he was doing it 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:32.839 as a actual certified medicine guy and I'm doing it, 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:36.760 you know, as a gecko. So it was just very 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:43.800 cool to hear him give these callers very well thought 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:48.400 out responses to their questions. And you know, we took 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:51.080 calls on this podcast that I wouldn't normally take because 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:53.760 some of them were a little heavy, and I typically 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:58.520 try to stray away from heavy stuff. And it's interesting 0:03:58.520 --> 0:03:59.640 because a lot of the time what I do on 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:03.120 this show is like I'll just talk to people like 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:07.680 through whatever it is that that they've got going on. 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:12.800 Whereas doctor Drew, he has like actual answers to people's 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:18.599 inquiries that he can give via all this information that 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:21.160 he has in his head. Is an actual doctor. So 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:23.400 thank you again to doctor Drew Pinsky for coming. For 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:25.000 those of you who don't know who he is, I'm 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:28.279 happy for this podcast to be your first introduction to 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:31.400 him and let's get into it, doctor Drew. 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:34.719 Yeah, buddy, how are you feeling odd? 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:36.480 Odd? Tell me more. 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:41.240 Well, one part of me feels like I'm breathing in 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:46.160 asbestos because of the mouth. Another part feels like this 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:48.080 is so comfortable that I want to go to sleep 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:51.919 right now, like pajamas. Uh. And of course there's humiliation 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:56.040 certain a certain amount of the uh and uh. Yeah, 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:59.040 happy to be here. Beautiful it makes and it makes 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:02.400 me look like my posture is bad. Really, yeah, look 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:04.720 at that. My posture is no good? Do you It 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:07.320 looks bad too, makes us both look like. 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:10.600 I actually wanted to I was. I was telling you beforehand. 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:12.520 There's a lot of aspects of this that I am 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:14.600 afraid and I'm glad I can talk to you about 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:16.720 this because a doctor. There's a lot of aspects about 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:18.880 this whole thing that I am afraid of. How they 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:21.320 will in the future, how. 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:24.440 You'll be remembered, what will say in your tombstone. 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:27.840 Like how they'll like affect my health, like the posture like. 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:29.840 You said that, pain and stuff like that. 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:33.039 Yeah, like the paint like I I really have. 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:34.640 To worry about it. But yes, worthy of concern. 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:37.040 Okay, We're they're good because I you know, I've I've 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.320 been doing about a year and a half and I'm 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:43.320 wondering how much longer can I go before some skin 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:44.279 issues developed. 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:48.880 The makeup is designed not to hurt you unless you've 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:51.159 got some something in here that I'm not aware of, 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:54.359 some some silver and with some product in there that 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:56.960 I should be scared of. Usually it's not unless you 0:05:57.400 --> 0:05:58.840 get this ship from Europe or something. 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:00.360 It's a talk based pain. 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:02.520 Oh I see, is that is that bad? I hurt? 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:06.200 Mostly it's ovarian cancer, So I don't know get gos? 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:09.599 Are they they have sex? Secondly, they are they I'm 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:12.839 afrodd hemaphroditic or are they come in different sexes? 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:16.360 I do not have any uh over We're probably about stuff. 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:17.560 You're good, Okay, you should be good. 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:21.080 Okay, So doctor, do I mean what has been what 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.400 has been the most persistent thought on your mind lately? 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:24.720 Uh? 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:26.440 When are we going to get out of all this 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:29.400 COVID nonsense? Okay, that's a good one. Uh when are 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:30.920 we going to be sort of returned to normal? And 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.039 I think people if the super Bowl is any evidence 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.720 see what uncomfortable these chairs are that the super Bowl 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:38.040 is any evidence I think people are ready to go. 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:40.360 People are ready to get out and do things. And 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:43.680 you know, here I'm sitting in a green outfit. 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:45.600 We're doing a thing right now. We're pretty close to 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:45.920 each other. 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.040 Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think about it. Of course, I've 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:50.560 had COVID twice and I've been vaccinated and I'm about 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:51.400 as immune as you can get. 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:54.840 Is there a thing in particular that you want to 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:56.480 do that COVID is stopping you from? 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:56.560 No? 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:58.880 No, that's it's funny you would ask that, because I 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:01.080 kind of have that conversation by self periodically. It's like, 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:03.440 what is it you want to do you're not doing right? 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:05.720 I'd like to fly an airplane without a mask. I'd 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:06.160 like to do that. 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:08.279 Well, if you're eating the peanuts, it's like. 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:10.200 Yeah, but they are on you now you have to 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:13.760 put it up between bites. It's really weird. So even 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:15.920 though I would like, here's what I would like, I 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:17.720 would the other thing I p occupied it is how 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:20.880 how far we are from the science and how the 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:24.080 clinical You know that the clinical people have not been 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:28.760 involved in guiding this this mess, and it's just been 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:29.320 a disaster. 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.480 So yeah, I feel like I'm not paying enough attention 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:33.800 to what's going on. 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:36.120 I'm just if you can avoid all that's going on 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:37.880 out there, you'll feel better. 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:38.440 You know. 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:41.360 I wanted to ask you, you know, I mean, this 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:43.520 is what we're doing talking to people on the phone 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.680 and so, and this is your whole life for thirty years. 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:51.560 Are you exhausted after thirty years of no? Everyone's everything? 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:55.520 No, Because I love people and I find their problems fascinating. 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.520 And every time I'm talking to somebody for whom it 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:00.960 is important, you know what I mean, they find it important, 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:04.480 So I find it important by you know, by being 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:09.680 compelled by their feeling states and no, and I learned 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:12.239 new things even now. I mean I haven't heard everything. 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:14.280 I feel like I've heard everything, but I'm sure I haven't. 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:19.480 And I get a little troubled when there's no structure 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:21.960 to the relationship and somebody who backs me into the 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:24.960 candy section at the seven eleven with some crazy questions 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.200 right right, And I feel bad because there's no beginning, middle, 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.520 and end. And usually the kinds of question they're asking 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:34.839 would take to help them with. Let's see, they have 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:37.400 like three minutes with them, take about seven years to 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:38.360 actually make a difference. 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:40.400 Does that happen to a lot. You'll get ambushed by people. 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:42.640 It will be like, hey, I need you right this 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:45.880 experiment and this candy aisle? Oh yeah, concept and what 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:47.880 is your polite way of is? 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:50.520 I feel bad about it every time I have to 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:52.559 say these are these are complex issues. This is not 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:54.880 you know, the abbaz abba bars are right here. This 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:58.800 is not the right environment for doing anything. But I'll 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:01.280 usually make some suggestions. You hope you have this kind 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:04.240 of doctor and just some suggestions and that's that. 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:09.120 So, I mean, what do you feel like if somebody 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:12.920 comes to you and you feel like you can't help them? 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:14.840 I mean, I don't know how often that happens. 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:17.640 What depends you mean by can't help and they're going 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:20.360 to die? That that happens. People get certain illnesses that 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:25.679 you know happens a lot. Then you talk about how 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:27.920 to die and how to make it dignified. You how 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:31.240 do you die dignified? It depends on you know, what 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:34.960 that person's desires are, and you know, it's really trying 0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:37.240 to get people into acceptance about what the reality is. 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:41.400 And it's hard, it's very very hard, and oftentimes a 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:43.360 family too, Are you really going to go down this 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:47.600 path the family too. Can't people avoid grief? People will 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:50.160 do anything to avoid grief. That's probably the most number 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:52.320 one problem in mental health. One of the reasons people 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:54.079 don't change is in order to change, you have to 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:56.680 a certain party, you have to go away or die, 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.040 and a new part has to emerge. There's a certain 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.439 amount of grief that goes on with real growth. Always, 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:05.240 people will do anything not to feel grief, and certainly 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:08.360 when actually somebody you love is dying, then they'll do anything, 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:13.040 and they'll just won't. They won't deal with reality, they 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:15.160 won't accept it, and that can be very problematic. 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:17.800 Do you have you taken the time to go through 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:19.959 your own acceptance of mortality. 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:23.800 Yeah. I've been saying forever that COVID should have given 0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:25.520 us the opportunity to talk about that. People should have 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:28.199 really thought about it, because for instance, just something like, 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:31.520 oh my god, these people in nursing homes are dying, Well, 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.319 that's terrible. Shn't get me wrong, it is awful. But 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.959 the average life expectancy for a male after admission to 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:43.319 a nursing home is six months always, and if you 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:47.719 need institutional care, meaning people to turn more than one 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:50.319 person to turn, you feed, you wipe your ass. You 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.280 should really be talking to your family about whether you 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:56.040 want to ever be in a nursing home. I don't never. 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:59.760 I will die quietly at home before just to extend 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:02.280 my life three months, four months, six months with people 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.760 having to lift it sounds it's just terrible. I would never. 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:07.760 I mean, who knows when you get there? 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:09.360 Of course, do you have to give an age you're 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:11.800 going for, like you're a goal in mind. 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:13.120 I'd love to get in my mid eighties. 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:13.640 Mid eighties. 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:14.160 That'd be great. 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:15.520 That feels like a good amount of you know, I 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.120 wouldn't want to do like one hundred. 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:20.679 Nineties for man, it's just I mean, there is a 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:23.040 ninety year old out there that is amazing. His name 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:26.000 is William Shatner. He is amazing ninety. I think he's 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:27.559 ninety now, well, hell does he know? Maybe I'm over 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:30.960 doing it? Can you look it up? But he's he's 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.959 up there and he's fantastic. I mean, he inspires you. 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:37.079 But you know, he's been to space and stuff. 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:40.560 I mean, I feel like there is something to being 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:43.040 at that age and being so he's really ninety? 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:43.400 Is this? 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:45.640 He looks damn good for Nineties's amazing. 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:48.839 He's the loveliest man you ever meet. His brain is 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:51.920 quicker than mine, and he's curious about everything, and he's 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:54.079 got vitality. It's just if if I could be that 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:55.920 dad in ninety, I'll go to one hundred. Thank you, 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:57.680 that'd be great. I mean, so right now, at how 0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:59.439 old you sixty three? 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:03.240 Do you feel like you're you're gonna get there? 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:03.719 No? 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:07.400 Sometimes I do, Sometimes I don't. I've had rational, screwed 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:11.960 up medical problems lately. Prouse, they cancer, diverticul itis, all 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:12.760 kinds of lovely things. 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:14.679 I mean, who do you go to when you you're 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:16.079 a guy who you know? People come to you with 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:17.680 their problems? Who do you go to when you have problems? 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:17.960 All? 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:18.120 Right? 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:20.520 Therapy? For many, many years it was the best thing ever. 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:22.839 Did it really put Billy shake me up to be 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:24.800 a good mental health professional? 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:25.520 Uh? 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:27.160 And then I have an internist, and I have a 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:29.760 radio therapist, and I have an urologist and all that stuff. 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:31.920 You know, we use medical services in my house. 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:36.600 Don't worry, beautiful, well listen, folks. Uh, doctor Drew is Uh. 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.400 This is the first time we've had an actual licensed. 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:42.199 Physician physician addressed as a gecko, which I addresses a 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.760 GEcho medical person, which and speaking of which, Actually, are 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:49.760 there any ethical issues that that this creates for us? 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:53.719 Are we are we h adopting a cultural are we 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:57.920 co opting some cultural or oh like green face a problem? 0:12:58.120 --> 0:12:58.240 Oh? 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:02.080 Oh, I thought you meant ethical issues of Uh well, 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:03.640 I guess me giving unlicensed whatever. 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.079 I won't even get. That's too deep for me even go. 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:11.360 I'm just wondering by appropriating the gecko community is green 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:12.160 face and issue? 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:13.800 Well, I'm a geckos, I'm allowed to do green face, 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:15.520 and you're also a gecko now, which makes you allowed 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:16.319 to do green face. 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:20.640 Which is interesting. So so once you become it, you 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:21.280 just are it. 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:23.719 There is you know, the thing about echos, not a 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.319 whole lot of gatekeeping in the community. It's very easy 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:27.280 to declare yourself. 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:29.960 Maybe you want to lead. They need some more. It's 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:33.440 because they're afraid. They're afraid to declare their gender identity, 0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:35.520 their sexuality. Maybe you could be a leader in this. 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.079 I would, I would, I would love to speak on behalf. 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:39.480 Of all of that. Good. Let's see what happens. That'd 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:39.800 be great. 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:53.080 Let's see what we got here. Hello, Laura, Laura, how 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:56.000 you doing it? Says here that you want to ask 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:59.760 about how to trust while you're in love. I think 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:03.200 you're struggling with trust in your current relationship. You wanta 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:03.959 tell us more about that? 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:07.920 Yeah, dude, let's. 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:09.079 Let's get into it. 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:13.839 Do you have any like questions like building me up first? 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:16.720 Any questions building up? 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:18.160 What? 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:19.040 Yeah? 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:24.800 Like, well to like understand kind of like the backstory, like. 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:27.120 Well, sure, okay, I'll get to it. Please, all right, 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.760 I'll get to it. Uh. Did you know your dad? 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:32.720 Yeah? 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:34.400 And did he leave at any point? 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:36.720 Oh? 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:41.840 No, he never abandoned you. No, So your parents are 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:42.360 still together? 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:45.920 Yeah? 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:46.520 Yeah? 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:47.320 What is. 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:52.880 Okay? And their relationship their relationship together? And is any 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:54.400 drinking or drug use or anything like that? 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:56.840 No? 0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:00.720 Not really, like they drink like regular old people. 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:04.800 Okay, and held hell okay, I got it? And hell 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:05.040 dore you. 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:08.240 I'm twenty one. 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.960 And have you had problematic relationships in the past where 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:13.120 people violated your trust? 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:15.560 Yeah? 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:20.400 Okay for sizzle for snizzle? And is it recent or 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:23.600 was it or has it been repeatedly one particularly bad one? 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:24.600 What's what's the deal. 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:32.360 I was with like a person for like let's say 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:38.200 like it was like three to like four years, I'd say, 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:43.360 and it was like really bad, like verbally abusive. All right, 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:47.360 I'm not even sure exactly exactly what like gaslighting is, 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:48.800 but I guess like all. 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.680 Right, and did your parents your parents? Did you did 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:53.560 you have any trauma or abuse when you were growing up? 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:01.320 I don't, I don't think So, Okay, these are simple questions. 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:03.400 I'm not I'm just trying to get, as you said, 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:05.080 what are the questions to kind of frame this thing? 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:08.720 Those are the questions. So here's the deal. Uh, you 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.160 need to get back out there and start rebuilding your 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.680 trust in other people. I don't know why you got 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:17.520 in this essentially domestic abuse situation. You might want to 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:20.600 look at the look at the cycle of domestic abuse. 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:24.280 Just google that you want to read maybe p melodies 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:28.400 work about codependency and boundary issues in relationships and people 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:31.240 that sabotage relationships, which what you're doing. Now I've been 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:36.160 in the past you went into quickly. Right, I've. 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:41.040 Two relationships, But did. 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:43.200 You did you kind of jump into them? Did you? 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:49.000 Did you wear your heart on your sleeves? So to speak? Yeah? So, 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:51.280 and now you've gone the other side, which is now 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.680 your now your love avoidance, now your love avoidance. You 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:57.360 don't trust, You're sabotaging things when they do get close. 0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:01.480 Go go read p melodies literature, okay, and learn about 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:03.480 what you're doing and if you have not if you 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:06.160 really have had a decent if your parents p a melody, 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:08.960 and if you're really you know, have had no trauma, 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:11.760 and your relationships for good growing up and stuff with 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:15.080 your primary your family of origin. This should be something 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:20.480 you can handle. Okay, yeah, all right, go read those books. 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:26.399 Thank you? Lay this music playing? Can can the audience here? 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:27.280 That means oh yeah, yeah they can. 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:28.000 It's fantastic. 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.040 You really have been doing this for thirty years? 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:30.639 What? 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.760 Oh no, I just I you know typically uh nice. 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:36.440 Oh I've been doing this for thirty yeah. Oh yeah, 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:37.600 it's almost like I know what I'm doing, is what 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.040 you're saying? Oh yeah, totally almost. Yeah yeah yeah. What 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:42.479 was that book you told her in melody? It's actually 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:45.359 actually the classic when I recommended something called Overcoming Love Addiction. 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:47.959 Overcoming Love Addiction. She's looking it up right now. 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:52.760 Over So you so you okay, so you've, as you said, 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:54.040 heard almost everything. 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:54.960 Yeah, you feel like so. 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:58.720 So have you heard people give that exact name, same issue. 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:01.040 You know, I have trust issues, you know a thousand times? 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:03.960 Yeah, I mean, but I have trust you. It's very vague. 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:08.240 That's very vague. Her thing is she she has? You know, 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:10.200 there's very all kinds of ways to frame what you 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:13.560 know and think about what she has. But what's suitable 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:17.080 for sort of you know, transmission and consumption across a 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:21.480 when I'm dressed green and we're using the internet. It's 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:24.160 you know, you can't get into deep dynamics about these things, 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:30.719 but the basic phenomena can be understood as codependency, boundary issues, love, addiction. 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:33.200 There's various ways of sort of talking about it and 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:35.119 thinking about it, and there's some good literature out there 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:38.639 about now. If you can't, if you can't relate, if 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:40.800 you can't get back into closes, people need work, love 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:42.960 and play right, and if they if you can't or 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:45.480 you can't function, if you have trouble functioning work, you 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:49.280 have trouble getting having relationships. That's and you can't manage 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:50.720 it yourself, that's when you need therapy. 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:53.840 So, I mean a lot of the times, you know 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:55.760 the fact that you're able to just gain so much 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:59.520 of a read on people within pretty quick amount of time. 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:00.840 I feel like a lot of people they feel as 0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:04.399 though their situation is so complex, so unique, that they're like, 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:05.560 oh wait, but I have to tell you this detail 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:05.919 a way. 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:07.359 But I have to tell you yeah, yeah, yeah, and 0:19:07.520 --> 0:19:10.280 and there are everyone is unique, and there are unique 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.440 elements to everybody's story. But but in terms of what 0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:16.800 you can do in a single encounter and all that 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:19.000 stuff kind of so when when you know this thing, 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:21.520 when you walk in a room as a physician, you 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:24.920 almost can smell what's going on you, you know, like 0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:27.560 in the first it drives people crazy because why don't 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:29.120 you spend more time with me. It's like I knew 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:31.520 a minute thirty and well, exactly what was going on here? 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:34.119 Because you've seen it. We've seen everything. There's nothing you 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:36.720 haven't seen them if you've if you're practicing medicine, and 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:38.560 and then you kind of know what to do and 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:40.800 where to start. Now not necessarily gonna be able to 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:43.800 solve everything after it's it's the session of process, and 0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:45.800 we will and it will morph and change. We will 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:47.879 learn things as we go, which is why doctors have 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:50.520 to follow up and stay on top of things. But 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:52.640 in terms of starting it out and kind of knowing 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:55.280 what's going on, that's a pretty quick assessed. It's pretty 0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:57.119 quick to do that. So what else we got here? 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:08.480 Hey, Chris? Yeah Chris, It says he you're not sure 0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:11.680 what to do with your life. You currently run a 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:14.880 shoe business, you want to be an actor, and you're 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:16.000 not sure how to make it. 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:21.600 You're twenty one. Oh man, I I this is a 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:25.439 We could have a giant conversation about this because what well, 0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:27.880 Chris tell us your story first. But I'm gonna bet 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:33.720 Chris is gonna articulate something that is generationally unique and 0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:37.120 exceedingly common right now. Yeah, not everyone wants to dress 0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:38.800 up as a get go and talk on the internet. 0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:40.560 Not everyone. I know. 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:42.439 It's hard to match, but let's see what he has. 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:46.520 Go ahead, Chris, all right, So I'm pretty much I'm 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:48.719 twenty one. I get a I get paid to run 0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:52.000 a shoe company called the Kicks. You buy the train 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:54.840 and take use shoes in and I've been doing it 0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:56.399 for like six years at this point, because I was 0:20:56.440 --> 0:20:58.280 like fifteen. Wow, I am at the point in my 0:20:58.320 --> 0:20:59.920 life Roger, just like I want to do something else. 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:03.320 Good for you? First of all, Yeah, I do know 0:21:03.359 --> 0:21:05.000 what you mean. And it's good for you for for 0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:08.119 starting young and taking it seriously and having a essentially 0:21:08.160 --> 0:21:12.800 a business at the age of lateeen. That's yeah. And 0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:17.040 is it is the problem? It's not, no, I understand, 0:21:17.119 --> 0:21:20.320 but still it's it's it's you're you're ahead of your 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:25.200 peers already. And so the question is, is the problem 0:21:25.600 --> 0:21:29.520 that you just have a free floating desire to make 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:31.960 a change and any change will do, or you can't 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:33.119 figure out what it is you want to do. 0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:36.960 I just like, don't know what I really want to do. 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:39.159 Guy for years, always want to become like an actor 0:21:39.240 --> 0:21:39.760 or something like that. 0:21:40.840 --> 0:21:44.679 Yeah, well what kind of actor? Comedy, drama, what's your 0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:46.520 what's your preferred genre? 0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:56.800 Well, here's the thing about dreams and fantasies, Uh, they 0:21:56.920 --> 0:22:02.359 have to align with reality, Okay. And so one one 0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:04.520 of the things I've noticed about people in their twenties 0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:08.119 is they have lots of big ideas that are wonderful, 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.240 but aren't they don't get started, or they aren't steeped 0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:14.040 in any reality or really even know what the what 0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:16.840 it would be like because they've never done it. So 0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:20.959 if if you're gonna your whole life harbor this desire 0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:23.440 to have been an actor and regret whatever else it 0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:27.040 is you do, that would not be good, so that 0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:29.520 the trick would be to go where do you live, 0:22:29.840 --> 0:22:34.240 as you say, over there, Columbus, Ohio. I mean there's 0:22:34.520 --> 0:22:36.520 I'm sure there's a big school there, and you know 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:38.119 there's a you know, there's got to be a big 0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:41.080 theater community. Go go do some theater and see if 0:22:41.119 --> 0:22:43.680 you really actually do like it, and do some and 0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:46.840 do some acting classes, and somebody who really likes that 0:22:47.840 --> 0:22:49.879 won't want to do anything else. They'll just that's all 0:22:49.920 --> 0:22:52.280 they'll want to do. They'll just be in and that'll 0:22:52.320 --> 0:22:54.320 be that. And then how I do it, whether I'm 0:22:54.320 --> 0:22:57.159 successful won't matter as much as this is what I 0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:01.960 must do and find out if you really like you 0:23:02.040 --> 0:23:04.119 may not. The reality of it may be far far, 0:23:04.200 --> 0:23:05.359 far different than the fantasy. 0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:07.440 I mean, what made you want to get into this 0:23:07.520 --> 0:23:08.359 in the first place. 0:23:10.359 --> 0:23:12.120 It was just like I like seeing them on TV, 0:23:12.240 --> 0:23:13.840 like people being other people, you know what I mean, 0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:15.959 Like you see their personality when they on like a runway, 0:23:16.000 --> 0:23:18.359 but like on movie they're Batman, you know what I mean. 0:23:18.520 --> 0:23:22.560 Like that's interesting the scene, so I think somebody else. 0:23:23.040 --> 0:23:24.840 Yeah, I think I had a little fantasy like that 0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:27.760 when I was younger too, and and my fantasy was, 0:23:28.320 --> 0:23:30.320 I like, I wanted to be I wanted to be 0:23:30.440 --> 0:23:33.040 in the fan. I wanted to be in the in 0:23:33.119 --> 0:23:34.960 the fun in the film. That wanted to be part 0:23:35.040 --> 0:23:37.439 of what was going on there, not having any idea 0:23:38.000 --> 0:23:40.800 what was actually going on. You know that that to 0:23:40.960 --> 0:23:44.760 take that one shot of Batman just looking past the 0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:48.040 camera takes nineteen guys setting up the lights. 0:23:48.280 --> 0:23:50.920 Right, you're you're not in the film, you're on the 0:23:51.000 --> 0:23:51.720 film sets. 0:23:52.040 --> 0:23:54.560 You're not even there. You're in that trailer and you 0:23:54.680 --> 0:23:57.200 come out, they light you, you go back, somebody else 0:23:57.280 --> 0:23:59.240 comes out, you go back. You realize you go back. 0:23:59.280 --> 0:24:01.399 You never see the other actors. They're just taking a 0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:04.800 cross shot at you. And it's a lot different. Now. 0:24:05.080 --> 0:24:06.680 It might be something you really really like and be 0:24:06.760 --> 0:24:09.119 really really fun. It is kind of fun and exciting 0:24:09.160 --> 0:24:11.879 to be on these environments and they're creating something fascinating. 0:24:12.000 --> 0:24:14.800 But I wanted to be in the creative process too. 0:24:14.840 --> 0:24:16.520 I think that was part of my fantasy because I 0:24:16.560 --> 0:24:20.600 still liked that part. I still like creating stuff it feel. 0:24:20.359 --> 0:24:22.920 As though you've ascertained that goal. 0:24:24.200 --> 0:24:26.439 Yeah, you know, it's I'm sorry, Chris, We're gonna we're 0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:28.960 gonna talk like you're not here for a second. It's 0:24:33.600 --> 0:24:35.480 I've noticed you have talked to a lot of people 0:24:35.560 --> 0:24:38.920 and all kinds of entertainment businesses, and nobody seems to 0:24:38.920 --> 0:24:41.399 be doing what they want to do. Musicians want to 0:24:41.440 --> 0:24:43.600 be actors, Actors want to be producers want to be 0:24:43.720 --> 0:24:46.639 rock stars. Producers want to be actors. I'm doing what 0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:48.200 I want to do. I kind of feel like pretty 0:24:48.200 --> 0:24:49.520 good about what I'm doing and I like it, and 0:24:49.640 --> 0:24:53.400 it's it's fully integrate to who I am. And that's Chris. 0:24:53.480 --> 0:24:57.639 That's the goal, Chris. The goal is to pull optimize 0:24:57.680 --> 0:25:00.600 all the talents you have and integrate all the parts 0:25:00.680 --> 0:25:04.240 of you and then do something with that that is 0:25:04.280 --> 0:25:06.920 a real expression of that. Does that make sense? 0:25:08.920 --> 0:25:13.240 I mean, Chris, Chris, Chris, you know, I mean yeah, 0:25:13.280 --> 0:25:15.480 to what you were saying, like, you know, what, what 0:25:15.560 --> 0:25:17.680 are all the different aspects of you? What's important to you? 0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:20.399 I mean, what's your like? I mean, I I kind 0:25:20.440 --> 0:25:21.560 of feel like I'm doing that right. 0:25:22.520 --> 0:25:24.679 It has to because you wouldn't. You wouldn't be dressed 0:25:24.760 --> 0:25:26.240 up in the gecko otter otherwise. 0:25:26.400 --> 0:25:27.080 Yeah, you know what I mean. 0:25:27.119 --> 0:25:31.360 It's it speaks of of a creative connection to the process. 0:25:31.480 --> 0:25:34.240 You gotta like it to do into it right committed, 0:25:34.320 --> 0:25:36.639 you're into it, you like it, and uh and and 0:25:37.040 --> 0:25:39.359 but you you didn't do it and then not like 0:25:39.440 --> 0:25:41.360 it you did it, you probably liked it more. 0:25:41.480 --> 0:25:43.320 Oh I don't like it, you know sometimes and everything 0:25:43.800 --> 0:25:46.920 to me, I know, that's a different thing, you know, 0:25:46.960 --> 0:25:48.600 I mean every every like, everything you're gonna do, has 0:25:48.600 --> 0:25:49.920 aspects of it that are unpleasant. 0:25:49.960 --> 0:25:52.440 But you're right. Yeah, I guess, Well, then that means 0:25:52.520 --> 0:25:55.159 you you should When people say stuff like that, I 0:25:55.200 --> 0:25:57.200 always think you should have had a what did you 0:25:57.280 --> 0:26:00.200 do before this? Uh funk? What did I do for? I? 0:26:00.320 --> 0:26:02.119 Like, I produce comedy shows. 0:26:02.080 --> 0:26:05.160 So you got to do producing producing? Yeah you got 0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:07.840 that's Chris. It's also important to have had a job 0:26:08.080 --> 0:26:11.359 that was hard, because then you'll appreciate the other things 0:26:11.400 --> 0:26:14.159 that are more creative and maybe not as arduous, you know, 0:26:14.200 --> 0:26:16.320 in terms of you're already running a business, so I 0:26:16.400 --> 0:26:19.000 mean you're you're you know, you're there kind of but Chris, 0:26:19.080 --> 0:26:20.399 go do it, Go do it. God damn it. 0:26:20.520 --> 0:26:24.560 Go do it, right, Chris, All right, are you moving 0:26:24.600 --> 0:26:25.160 to Hollywood? 0:26:25.560 --> 0:26:27.760 No, don't do a Hollywood yet. Go to go to 0:26:27.880 --> 0:26:30.479 acting classes, go to the nearest theater and get into production, 0:26:31.040 --> 0:26:35.080 and then go to Hollywood. If somebody says you're good, yeah, 0:26:35.080 --> 0:26:37.080 we'll find out if you like it, and then get 0:26:37.119 --> 0:26:38.760 good at it. You gotta build it, I mean, you gotta, 0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:44.240 you gotta, you gotta develop something some This is a 0:26:44.520 --> 0:26:47.320 thing that people miss. You need skill and wisdom to 0:26:47.440 --> 0:26:49.800 be to be able to contribute. Yes, you need both, 0:26:50.280 --> 0:26:52.520 and if you come with neither, it's not going to 0:26:52.600 --> 0:26:55.760 go very well. Well, Chris, skill is something developed, wisdom 0:26:55.760 --> 0:26:57.840 is something developed. Now some people develop it very fast 0:26:57.840 --> 0:26:58.960 because they're talented, right. 0:26:58.920 --> 0:27:00.600 But you got you gotta jump into it. 0:27:00.800 --> 0:27:01.600 Yeah, you gotta do it. 0:27:02.600 --> 0:27:03.520 Things we'll see in the picture. 0:27:03.840 --> 0:27:03.959 Chris. 0:27:04.040 --> 0:27:07.800 Can't wait to see what you do. But I've got 0:27:07.880 --> 0:27:09.240 to hear all the time Millennials they don't know what 0:27:09.280 --> 0:27:10.400 they want to do this I don't want. They don't 0:27:10.400 --> 0:27:12.240 know what to too many choices. It drives me crazy. 0:27:12.280 --> 0:27:13.960 Actually, I want to hear more about what you were 0:27:14.000 --> 0:27:16.600 saying about. You know, everyone you feel like their their dreams, 0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:18.360 don't match up with with reality? 0:27:18.480 --> 0:27:18.720 But do you? 0:27:18.840 --> 0:27:20.920 But okay, well, you feel like dreams and reality? I 0:27:20.960 --> 0:27:22.840 said two things. I said, everyone wants to be doing 0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:25.120 something other than they're doing sure, And then I said 0:27:25.400 --> 0:27:28.240 people have fantasies and dreams that they don't even test 0:27:28.320 --> 0:27:30.080 in reality, so they don't know whether. 0:27:30.840 --> 0:27:33.000 Well that's like, you know, if you're a comedian, you imagine, oh, 0:27:33.080 --> 0:27:35.239 being a musician must be so great. If you're a musician, Oh, 0:27:35.280 --> 0:27:37.440 being a comedian, like the grass is always greener on inside, 0:27:37.480 --> 0:27:38.520 whatever is you do? 0:27:38.720 --> 0:27:41.680 That's right? Yeah, that that But but I think I 0:27:41.840 --> 0:27:46.040 think sometimes people like go in wanting to be an 0:27:46.080 --> 0:27:48.399 actor and then become a producer and always harbor this 0:27:48.480 --> 0:27:50.520 sort of oh I should have what if I had, 0:27:50.960 --> 0:27:53.280 you know? And and same thing with musicians. They probably 0:27:54.640 --> 0:27:56.760 saw somebody on TV like Chris and thought I'll be 0:27:56.800 --> 0:27:59.159 fun to be in that I'm a loser, I'll learn 0:27:59.160 --> 0:28:00.840 to play the guitar. Okay, and that's it. 0:28:01.200 --> 0:28:02.680 But you know, when you're when you're talking about like 0:28:02.880 --> 0:28:06.000 dreams that aren't sustainable with reality, don't you feel like 0:28:06.000 --> 0:28:08.600 if you're like nineteen or twenty one or whatever, like 0:28:08.800 --> 0:28:12.359 now's the time to fuck up. Yes to go be 0:28:12.760 --> 0:28:14.960 broke on the street, do what fucking. 0:28:15.000 --> 0:28:17.840 And and but you're missing I think you're missing my 0:28:18.040 --> 0:28:21.120 what I'm trying to emphasize, which is test reality. Yes, 0:28:21.240 --> 0:28:22.879 don't just stay up in your head thinking about how 0:28:22.920 --> 0:28:25.639 great it's gonna be. Go do it and find out 0:28:25.680 --> 0:28:27.240 if it's what you like. So we're telling Chris, find 0:28:27.280 --> 0:28:28.760 out if it's what you like, find out if it's 0:28:29.119 --> 0:28:31.159 if you're good at it, and if you're not, how 0:28:31.400 --> 0:28:34.000 how committed are you to get better? Go do it? 0:28:34.400 --> 0:28:36.440 If you if you're gonna be able to declare yourself 0:28:36.480 --> 0:28:38.800 a writer and never sit down and write a word. 0:28:39.440 --> 0:28:41.840 That same through Chris. He's wanting to be an actor 0:28:41.920 --> 0:28:44.320 but never been into production. No, no, no, that's not good. 0:28:44.800 --> 0:28:45.120 Go do it? 0:28:45.160 --> 0:28:45.560 To Anne? 0:28:48.400 --> 0:28:51.160 And and is that you hello? 0:28:52.240 --> 0:28:52.440 Yes? 0:28:52.920 --> 0:28:53.440 Oh God? 0:28:54.160 --> 0:28:55.000 And how you doing. 0:28:55.040 --> 0:28:57.360 I'm here with doctor Drew And it says here you 0:28:57.960 --> 0:28:59.760 would like to do more anal but you have a 0:28:59.800 --> 0:29:01.280 lot of hemorrhoids. 0:29:02.600 --> 0:29:07.680 M h, well it's not it's it's not like a lot. 0:29:08.040 --> 0:29:10.600 But I've had a history with it in the past 0:29:10.760 --> 0:29:15.240 to the point where it hinders me from you know, making. 0:29:15.040 --> 0:29:15.720 The decision to. 0:29:17.200 --> 0:29:19.600 Try it right, And were you pregnant or anything when 0:29:19.600 --> 0:29:20.320 you had the hemorrhoids. 0:29:22.000 --> 0:29:23.720 Oh no, no, no, no, no, I just sh a lot. 0:29:25.040 --> 0:29:25.920 You just shipped a lot. 0:29:27.160 --> 0:29:29.960 So what you said, I mean I'm being no yeah, yeah, 0:29:30.160 --> 0:29:35.479 I like I don't know why, but I shit at 0:29:35.600 --> 0:29:37.720 least three times a day, all right, the. 0:29:37.720 --> 0:29:41.000 Health, that's right, it's no, there's no there's an yeah, 0:29:41.320 --> 0:29:43.560 there's no shit standard. 0:29:43.960 --> 0:29:45.680 I thought there totally was no no. 0:29:46.520 --> 0:29:52.480 Uh and so so, but do you've never been pregnant? Correct? No, no, no, okay, 0:29:52.840 --> 0:29:55.200 And how were you when you first started noticing hemorrhoids. 0:29:57.920 --> 0:29:59.920 I think I was about like nineteen. 0:30:00.280 --> 0:30:01.200 Okay, do they bleed? 0:30:02.520 --> 0:30:02.560 So? 0:30:03.240 --> 0:30:03.400 Yeah? 0:30:03.440 --> 0:30:05.720 Yeah, yeah, I mean it was enough. I went I 0:30:05.840 --> 0:30:10.040 had to get like like a minor colonoscopy, not like 0:30:10.120 --> 0:30:13.920 the whole thing, but the whole thing where like a whole. 0:30:13.720 --> 0:30:17.680 Camera, right, what's called a sigmoid. So all right, and 0:30:17.800 --> 0:30:21.080 they saw the hemorrhoids and they were internal hemorrhoids, external hemorrhoids. Both. 0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:23.880 You know, it was external. 0:30:24.080 --> 0:30:24.800 It wasn't that bad. 0:30:24.880 --> 0:30:26.760 I just ate a bunch of fiber and like it 0:30:26.840 --> 0:30:27.440 kind of went away. 0:30:27.520 --> 0:30:30.320 But it's a continuous problem, right, Well, anal is not 0:30:30.360 --> 0:30:35.000 gonna make it better, okay, And if you do it 0:30:36.320 --> 0:30:40.880 lots of lube. Uh and if it hurts, stop and 0:30:40.960 --> 0:30:44.920 if it bleeds afterwards, don't do it again. And you 0:30:45.080 --> 0:30:49.880 might try, you know, some sort of graduated device something 0:30:49.960 --> 0:30:52.280 to kind of help, you know, ease things up down 0:30:52.320 --> 0:30:53.440 there a little bit. You know what I'm saying? 0:30:55.200 --> 0:30:57.360 Yeah, yeah, are you sugguesching? She practiced with. 0:30:57.480 --> 0:31:02.800 A of some kind then and graduated like small bit okay, sure, 0:31:03.040 --> 0:31:07.400 and not even practiced so much as I gotta go ahead, 0:31:07.440 --> 0:31:08.480 you you gotta. 0:31:08.600 --> 0:31:10.720 I gotta, I gotta, I gotta like, you know, like 0:31:10.840 --> 0:31:12.880 a butt plug to try to like ease it. 0:31:12.920 --> 0:31:15.360 Out a little bit, right, That's what I'm talking about. 0:31:15.960 --> 0:31:19.640 I hadn't, I hadn't used it in a while because 0:31:19.840 --> 0:31:23.640 last time I did it there was like a minor 0:31:23.760 --> 0:31:27.440 incident and it hit my boyfriend. 0:31:27.040 --> 0:31:27.560 In the balls. 0:31:28.080 --> 0:31:34.720 Oh my god, you're the best. Uh well, here's to 0:31:35.000 --> 0:31:39.800 and for for courage and fortitude and persistence. Oh absolutely, 0:31:40.080 --> 0:31:41.200 and gets the award today. 0:31:41.360 --> 0:31:43.280 And uh you know who I mean, who's more interested 0:31:43.320 --> 0:31:45.680 in having antle sacks between you and your boy That's. 0:31:45.680 --> 0:31:48.280 That's I was gonna go down that path, So go ahead, answer, 0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:52.000 So you know it. 0:31:52.080 --> 0:31:54.920 Started off, it's more like him being were interested in it, 0:31:55.560 --> 0:31:59.680 and then like the more you know, things got involved 0:31:59.720 --> 0:32:04.560 with it, the more I actually like started liking it. 0:32:05.160 --> 0:32:08.440 And I guess, you know, I don't like you know, 0:32:09.240 --> 0:32:11.400 I guess like the weird you know, like part about 0:32:11.440 --> 0:32:13.840 it is. I guess like I saw this like comedy 0:32:13.920 --> 0:32:16.080 thing and it was like, you know, I like anal 0:32:16.120 --> 0:32:18.120 because I should a lot. And I was like, well, 0:32:19.360 --> 0:32:20.960 I was like that kind of makes sense. 0:32:21.200 --> 0:32:24.320 You know, that sounds dumb, but what you said, you 0:32:24.400 --> 0:32:26.720 saw a comedy thing. You said that made you want 0:32:26.760 --> 0:32:30.680 to do like yeah, yeah, so. 0:32:30.800 --> 0:32:31.600 Like yeah, no. 0:32:31.800 --> 0:32:34.680 I was watching this stand up comedian chick and she 0:32:34.880 --> 0:32:38.200 was talking about how she just was she like ships 0:32:38.200 --> 0:32:39.960 a lot and then she tried anal and she was 0:32:40.000 --> 0:32:42.000 like it's so great because like I should a lot 0:32:42.120 --> 0:32:44.120 so much. And she was like, I love it so 0:32:44.200 --> 0:32:45.200 much because I should so much. 0:32:45.400 --> 0:32:47.200 What did Nicki Glazer say? 0:32:47.240 --> 0:32:47.360 Now? 0:32:47.560 --> 0:32:54.600 What did Nikki say? Now? What did she say? On 0:32:54.640 --> 0:32:58.360 the joke? And good good luck to you? And uh 0:32:58.880 --> 0:33:01.480 and white Friend as well also Ali Wong. These days, 0:33:01.520 --> 0:33:05.320 she is getting deep into the paint with her sexual content. 0:33:05.640 --> 0:33:07.760 Have you seen her new Netflix special I No I haven't. 0:33:10.240 --> 0:33:13.320 It's it's a raunch fest. 0:33:13.680 --> 0:33:16.000 It is on. Yeah, good for her, and she does 0:33:16.040 --> 0:33:18.840 it with with very very bold clarity. 0:33:20.880 --> 0:33:31.040 Sophia. Hello, Sofia. It says here that you just started 0:33:31.280 --> 0:33:35.600 pegging your boyfriend and you want advice on this situation. 0:33:35.960 --> 0:33:37.320 When you say advice, so you're talking about how to 0:33:37.320 --> 0:33:39.920 do this safely, how to do this effectively, how to 0:33:39.960 --> 0:33:41.160 do this for maximum pleasure. 0:33:44.960 --> 0:33:49.360 Well, I can't say I'm an expert on the topic yet, 0:33:49.960 --> 0:33:55.600 but yeah, be invested in. 0:33:57.440 --> 0:34:01.680 A it's a strap on. 0:34:02.280 --> 0:34:07.160 It's like a insert vibrator and it's like I have 0:34:07.440 --> 0:34:10.560 the pick, you know, I have the power. 0:34:11.880 --> 0:34:14.759 And yeah, it was fun. 0:34:15.760 --> 0:34:17.680 It was new territories. 0:34:17.800 --> 0:34:18.719 Okay, see that at once. 0:34:19.200 --> 0:34:23.840 Is there a question here or you just need to declare, 0:34:24.360 --> 0:34:25.279 declare to the world. 0:34:27.560 --> 0:34:33.560 Well, it's kind of complicated. I guess I just wanted 0:34:33.600 --> 0:34:41.239 to hear perspectives on how I'm feeling, because after this 0:34:41.680 --> 0:34:48.520 situation happened, I was like, hmm, what does this mean 0:34:49.280 --> 0:34:50.799 sexuality wise for. 0:34:51.160 --> 0:34:53.920 Him for him and then for him, or for for 0:34:54.040 --> 0:34:59.000 you and for him. That's both of you. So you're 0:34:59.040 --> 0:35:00.680 wondering what do you want about yourself? 0:35:02.120 --> 0:35:08.920 Well, well, okay, we're both bisexual, So you're wondering. 0:35:08.680 --> 0:35:10.920 You're wondering if you would rather do this behavior with 0:35:11.000 --> 0:35:16.640 a female. Yeah, okay, well we can't answer that. That's 0:35:16.760 --> 0:35:20.520 that's up to you exactly. As far as his sexuality, no, 0:35:20.800 --> 0:35:23.480 it does not mean anything. It really doesn't. I know 0:35:23.560 --> 0:35:26.640 people will argue about this, but it really doesn't. So 0:35:27.080 --> 0:35:32.680 he likes being pegged, okay, good times. Okay, but you're 0:35:32.719 --> 0:35:34.560 you're the one. You're the one left with the question 0:35:34.640 --> 0:35:37.600 marks about how you know? Where am I going to 0:35:37.680 --> 0:35:38.359 take this? Right? 0:35:38.520 --> 0:35:42.000 Is he is this situation making him feel any sort 0:35:42.239 --> 0:35:47.040 of questioning about his gender identity or sexuality? 0:35:51.800 --> 0:35:55.960 I asked him and he said no. But also like 0:35:58.000 --> 0:36:03.320 he like when we were having sex, he like wanted 0:36:03.400 --> 0:36:06.640 me to call him a female, and so that was 0:36:06.800 --> 0:36:10.399 like something that I wasn't expecting, and so I asked 0:36:10.440 --> 0:36:14.440 him about it afterwards, but it was just like something 0:36:14.600 --> 0:36:15.759 he did in sex, and. 0:36:15.840 --> 0:36:18.960 So it was just kind of like, huh, I mean, 0:36:19.040 --> 0:36:23.520 is that is that pose some sort of issue for you? 0:36:25.200 --> 0:36:25.239 No? 0:36:25.800 --> 0:36:27.600 No, it does not pauses an issue. 0:36:27.800 --> 0:36:30.200 She likes it. It's just all kinds of question marks 0:36:30.200 --> 0:36:33.439 all over the place, and everything means something. Let's be fair, 0:36:33.960 --> 0:36:37.480 But It doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't necessarily mean anything 0:36:37.560 --> 0:36:39.200 that you should be thinking worried about, you know what 0:36:39.200 --> 0:36:43.640 I mean? I cannot you know, if he's gay, he 0:36:43.719 --> 0:36:45.719 will like to have sex with men, if he has 0:36:45.760 --> 0:36:48.799 a if his gender identity is unclear for him right now, 0:36:49.600 --> 0:36:55.239 that will clarify hopefully for him with time. Okay, do 0:36:55.320 --> 0:36:55.839 that makes sense? 0:36:56.000 --> 0:36:56.200 Yeah? 0:36:56.360 --> 0:36:59.440 I think you're fine. You're the least stick with some 0:36:59.520 --> 0:37:01.360 of your own question marks. You know what am What 0:37:01.440 --> 0:37:02.680 am I going to do with this paper that I 0:37:02.719 --> 0:37:03.640 seem to be into right now? 0:37:03.960 --> 0:37:04.000 Like? 0:37:04.040 --> 0:37:04.759 What do I want to do? 0:37:04.840 --> 0:37:04.920 Her? 0:37:05.160 --> 0:37:05.319 Right? 0:37:05.360 --> 0:37:07.279 It's the whole thing. If she's taking into account what's 0:37:07.320 --> 0:37:09.480 going on, you know, her question marks and her partner's question. 0:37:09.560 --> 0:37:12.200 Yeah, his, don't worry about his his or his and 0:37:12.280 --> 0:37:15.680 they're there. They I don't think they're even anything, frankly, 0:37:15.800 --> 0:37:17.360 but but you're going to ask him about it. But 0:37:17.600 --> 0:37:22.120 that's up to him. Those are his things, all right? 0:37:22.680 --> 0:37:23.200 Thank you for calling? 0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:23.640 Sofia. 0:37:24.280 --> 0:37:27.759 Where is Sophia, Sophia, Where are you at? Where are you? 0:37:27.800 --> 0:37:28.520 Where are you, Sofia? 0:37:30.560 --> 0:37:32.520 I am in California, Okay. 0:37:33.400 --> 0:37:35.320 I just I just always like I'm just always curious 0:37:35.320 --> 0:37:37.400 where people are calling from and just you know, it's 0:37:37.480 --> 0:37:40.960 like to kind of picture are you picturing Sofia in California? Now? 0:37:41.000 --> 0:37:44.200 I was thinking more mid Atlantic sort of stuff. Yeah, 0:37:44.520 --> 0:37:44.759 thank you. 0:37:49.239 --> 0:37:56.320 Do you feel like do you do you think about 0:37:56.400 --> 0:37:58.600 any of the people that ever call into your show? 0:37:59.640 --> 0:38:01.840 Yeah? I mean like it does it haunt me? 0:38:02.360 --> 0:38:04.200 Not even not even a haunt, but like you know, 0:38:04.440 --> 0:38:04.840 or do you do? 0:38:04.880 --> 0:38:05.160 You do? 0:38:05.239 --> 0:38:07.880 You have a pretty separate like when I am on 0:38:08.000 --> 0:38:11.440 the air or in you know, my office or whatever, 0:38:11.640 --> 0:38:13.040 that is what I'm thinking about these things? Or and 0:38:13.040 --> 0:38:14.160 when I'm home, I'm thinking about it. 0:38:14.160 --> 0:38:16.200 No, I worry about stuff all the time, really yeah, 0:38:16.320 --> 0:38:19.279 And and uh, and things do haunt me? 0:38:19.719 --> 0:38:20.279 I do? I do? 0:38:20.680 --> 0:38:26.040 Really yeah? But I have I have enough experience and 0:38:26.120 --> 0:38:30.360 sufficient boundaries that I don't may not let it infect 0:38:30.440 --> 0:38:32.680 me in the sense like I know what my limitations are. 0:38:32.960 --> 0:38:35.920 I know that I've done all that I can, but 0:38:36.000 --> 0:38:37.080 it's still you know, it affects you. 0:38:37.480 --> 0:38:40.640 Has it Has that been a learning process like earlier 0:38:40.680 --> 0:38:41.080 in your career? 0:38:41.120 --> 0:38:43.520 Do you feel like that was mostly therapy the year, 0:38:43.640 --> 0:38:45.600 years and years and years of really good therapy, and 0:38:45.880 --> 0:38:47.320 my boundaries got very clear with that. 0:38:47.960 --> 0:38:49.239 You know, I have a lot of people who call 0:38:49.320 --> 0:38:51.840 in and they tell me things like, you know, I 0:38:51.960 --> 0:38:55.000 tried talking about this with my real therapist, but they 0:38:55.080 --> 0:38:58.160 feel like they weren't helpful. Do you have any way 0:38:58.320 --> 0:39:02.200 that you I if I if somebody is a good therapist, 0:39:02.280 --> 0:39:03.279 or if you feel like they're a fit for. 0:39:03.920 --> 0:39:08.640 Yeah, oh yeah, there should be you know, certain letters 0:39:08.680 --> 0:39:12.440 after their name. Ideally you know, l cs, W, s ID, PhD, 0:39:12.640 --> 0:39:16.120 m D, these kinds of things, and they need lots 0:39:16.120 --> 0:39:21.040 of experience, and there needs to be clarity about what 0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:23.880 it is you're doing in therapy and what are your 0:39:23.960 --> 0:39:26.600 goals and what kinds of techniques that are used to 0:39:26.640 --> 0:39:33.480 achieve those goals. Generally, therapists shouldn't be saying very much 0:39:33.600 --> 0:39:34.720 at all about anything. 0:39:35.320 --> 0:39:37.160 They should primarily just be sounding boards. 0:39:37.320 --> 0:39:42.200 They should be reflecting with their face and body emotions 0:39:42.320 --> 0:39:44.759 back to you as like a mirror of the emotions. 0:39:45.360 --> 0:39:51.200 They should be asking challenge and very very strategic questions 0:39:51.520 --> 0:39:54.480 to kind of keep the emotions moving forward. And that's it. 0:39:55.360 --> 0:39:59.719 If therapist is telling you what to do, run, yeah, yeah, 0:40:00.160 --> 0:40:00.960 not what therapy is. 0:40:01.160 --> 0:40:03.960 You know, I kind of stopped going to therapy because 0:40:04.160 --> 0:40:06.960 I was journaling a lot and I felt like, oh, well, 0:40:07.000 --> 0:40:09.399 this is you know, all therapy is is like sort 0:40:09.400 --> 0:40:10.919 of what you're saying. It is like you're getting reflected about. 0:40:11.280 --> 0:40:13.600 It's everything's for different people. It really is depending what 0:40:13.960 --> 0:40:16.120 The brain is very complicated. It's a brain body that 0:40:16.160 --> 0:40:19.520 you're dealing with in therapy, really, and you know, if 0:40:19.560 --> 0:40:21.719 you can get what you need out of journaling, if 0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:23.480 you can get it from CBT. I mean there's all 0:40:23.600 --> 0:40:25.919 the twelves, there's all kinds of things out there, lots 0:40:25.960 --> 0:40:29.319 of resources, and many people get what they need. They 0:40:29.560 --> 0:40:31.040 find ways to get what they need from it. I 0:40:31.320 --> 0:40:36.240 needed I had, I needed micro surgery. My bodily based 0:40:36.440 --> 0:40:39.040 emotional system was not well connected. 0:40:38.680 --> 0:40:41.800 To my brain, your bodily based emotional feelings. I'm always 0:40:42.360 --> 0:40:45.480 neglecting how much of my mental state is due to 0:40:46.480 --> 0:40:48.200 completely and utterly internal things. 0:40:48.360 --> 0:40:48.760 Correct. 0:40:48.960 --> 0:40:50.759 Actually, I'm constantly. 0:40:50.280 --> 0:40:52.400 It's a brain body. It's a brain body. It's not 0:40:52.480 --> 0:40:55.560 a brain, it's not an emotional it's not a limbic system. 0:40:55.680 --> 0:40:58.920 It's a brain body system. And because I didn't get 0:40:58.960 --> 0:41:01.279 certain stuff growing up, I got it in therapy and 0:41:01.320 --> 0:41:03.640 it connected me back up. And that's some pretty good. 0:41:03.719 --> 0:41:08.120 Now let's talk to Maddie. Think if your calls everybody 0:41:08.120 --> 0:41:10.880 there are good calls Maddie. 0:41:14.200 --> 0:41:16.319 Hello, Hey there, what's up? 0:41:21.000 --> 0:41:21.160 Oh? 0:41:21.320 --> 0:41:21.719 There we go? 0:41:21.920 --> 0:41:23.720 Hi, what's up, Maddie? 0:41:23.760 --> 0:41:24.279 How you doing? 0:41:24.760 --> 0:41:26.040 How can we get you this evening? 0:41:28.400 --> 0:41:31.400 I'm good tonight. You know, I was wondering, what's the 0:41:31.480 --> 0:41:34.040 statute of limitations on opening a snapchat? 0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:38.480 The statue of limitations? So, I mean it says here 0:41:38.560 --> 0:41:41.320 that you're struggling on getting back to people in a 0:41:41.520 --> 0:41:43.120 timely manner. 0:41:45.040 --> 0:41:46.040 Yes, definitely. 0:41:47.600 --> 0:41:49.920 Do you have any advice on cause I'm start dealing 0:41:49.960 --> 0:41:50.239 with this too. 0:41:50.239 --> 0:41:52.120 I'm like, I'm not understating the question at all. I 0:41:52.200 --> 0:41:53.279 feel like, what did she say? 0:41:53.480 --> 0:41:55.520 I My read on this is, Maddie. It sounds like 0:41:55.560 --> 0:41:58.960 you're getting overwhelmed with the fact that your phone is 0:41:59.000 --> 0:42:01.520 constantly calling upon you to answer it, and you're wondering 0:42:02.200 --> 0:42:08.360 the the boundaries you should set in that arena. Yeah, exactly. 0:42:10.160 --> 0:42:12.120 Oh, it depends on who it is in the relationship 0:42:12.160 --> 0:42:12.680 with that person. 0:42:13.640 --> 0:42:15.640 Who who is there somebody in particular that. 0:42:15.920 --> 0:42:20.680 This is this is going on with, not in particular. 0:42:20.840 --> 0:42:23.520 There are like a couple of people like who have 0:42:23.640 --> 0:42:26.160 been messaging me, and it's like, oh. 0:42:26.239 --> 0:42:28.400 Like maybe I'll get around to opening this. 0:42:28.719 --> 0:42:31.200 Maybe not, but it's it's not really dependent on the. 0:42:31.239 --> 0:42:36.360 Relationship as much as my own anxiety with opening it 0:42:36.480 --> 0:42:38.160 and what I'm going to respond right away? 0:42:38.840 --> 0:42:42.240 But but what kind of these peers are these? Your parents? 0:42:42.480 --> 0:42:42.640 Is it? 0:42:43.200 --> 0:42:44.880 You know? Bill collectors? 0:42:45.000 --> 0:42:45.040 What? 0:42:45.560 --> 0:42:49.839 Definitely like definitely like acquaintances of mine, like people I'm 0:42:49.880 --> 0:42:52.520 friendly with, but people who I don't have that kind 0:42:52.600 --> 0:42:54.040 of like relationship with. 0:42:54.680 --> 0:42:57.000 That's a right, That is a great question. I don't 0:42:57.040 --> 0:42:59.839 I don't think people my age understand it at all. 0:43:00.680 --> 0:43:02.520 I mean, you used to be the you know, anybody 0:43:02.640 --> 0:43:07.160 under thirty is sort of fluid in this stuff. I uh, 0:43:07.480 --> 0:43:09.560 you probably have a lot of feelings about it. I 0:43:10.000 --> 0:43:13.239 My thing is like, I just why are you bothering me? 0:43:13.320 --> 0:43:13.680 What? You know? 0:43:13.760 --> 0:43:13.800 What? 0:43:14.040 --> 0:43:14.160 You know? 0:43:14.800 --> 0:43:17.960 You don't really want me to respond? I hate texting? 0:43:18.320 --> 0:43:21.720 Is this on texting? We're talking about? Gotta hate texting? 0:43:21.880 --> 0:43:23.520 She's just talk about snapped. You do a lot of 0:43:23.600 --> 0:43:24.920 snap chatting, doctor Drew. 0:43:25.040 --> 0:43:27.640 No, no snap. And I just discovered that I had 0:43:28.000 --> 0:43:32.359 I had a a request thing in Instagram. H yeah, 0:43:32.440 --> 0:43:35.239 there were there were ten thousand comments there. 0:43:35.400 --> 0:43:38.520 You just found your Instagram message request. Yes, yeah, there's 0:43:38.600 --> 0:43:40.759 like a whole bunch of I mean, dude, you can't 0:43:40.800 --> 0:43:43.200 get lost in like I'm always getting lost in my 0:43:43.400 --> 0:43:47.680 d ms on Twitter, yeah, on on Instagram and stuff, 0:43:47.719 --> 0:43:48.880 and I'm like, Instagram. 0:43:48.520 --> 0:43:50.480 One is just I just discovered. I feel like I've 0:43:50.480 --> 0:43:51.640 walked into parallel universe. 0:43:51.640 --> 0:43:53.440 Well know when you're saying like people under you know, 0:43:53.520 --> 0:43:55.040 when you said people over thirty like you. 0:43:55.080 --> 0:43:56.360 Know it's serious. 0:43:56.480 --> 0:43:59.879 Well, I I'm jealous of that peace of mind because 0:43:59.920 --> 0:44:01.520 I feel like I never have that. I feel like 0:44:01.600 --> 0:44:06.440 Maddie doesn't have that. We're like, oh, somebody responds Maddie, Maddie, 0:44:06.480 --> 0:44:08.879 here's my thing, Maddie. And I've gotten used to this too. 0:44:09.120 --> 0:44:11.719 Be Okay, you can leave people on red. Just get 0:44:12.120 --> 0:44:16.759 get start to enjoy the piece that you gain when 0:44:16.800 --> 0:44:18.080 you just leave people on red. 0:44:18.200 --> 0:44:21.360 Can you read the unready unseen? 0:44:21.600 --> 0:44:21.759 Good? 0:44:21.840 --> 0:44:22.560 Okay, good? Yeah? 0:44:22.560 --> 0:44:22.840 I like that. 0:44:23.600 --> 0:44:27.200 Yeah. The the immediacy of responsing. And I you know, 0:44:27.320 --> 0:44:30.440 because when I was practicing medicine fourteen hours a day, 0:44:30.800 --> 0:44:32.920 I would get pages that was back in the pages 0:44:33.560 --> 0:44:36.520 and I'd have to respond immediately, immediately, And so I 0:44:36.600 --> 0:44:39.600 still behave like that with texts. Do you respond to 0:44:39.600 --> 0:44:42.080 every text a meeting immediately and it's and it's an 0:44:42.120 --> 0:44:44.800 immediate I have a reaction every time, too, like what 0:44:44.960 --> 0:44:45.120 is it? 0:44:45.400 --> 0:44:45.520 You know? 0:44:45.600 --> 0:44:48.759 Because I spent so many years doing that and I 0:44:48.800 --> 0:44:49.080 hate it. 0:44:49.200 --> 0:44:51.200 Do you respond to your Twitter dms and things like that? 0:44:51.840 --> 0:44:55.280 My Twitter dms is a is a pretty lean territory. 0:44:55.360 --> 0:44:57.120 For some reason, I do because it's all people. I 0:44:57.200 --> 0:45:00.919 kind of know it's I don't. I don't, I don't, 0:45:00.960 --> 0:45:03.040 I don't, I don't have just anybody in there. But 0:45:03.040 --> 0:45:05.080 it's clearly my Instagram. I've got to do something with that. 0:45:05.520 --> 0:45:06.960 I don't know quite how to manage that, you. 0:45:07.000 --> 0:45:09.920 Know, Maddie. My thing is like if you, first of all, 0:45:09.960 --> 0:45:12.000 if you don't care about these people, then leave them 0:45:12.000 --> 0:45:13.120 on red. If you don't care about them, But if 0:45:13.120 --> 0:45:16.839 you do care about them, then they should respect your 0:45:16.880 --> 0:45:19.160 boundaries enough to be like, I'm not getting upset with 0:45:19.200 --> 0:45:21.520 you for leaving right. You have to train people, Yes, yes, 0:45:21.600 --> 0:45:23.560 you have to train people to be okay with you 0:45:24.960 --> 0:45:26.560 leaving them on read and you can get back to 0:45:26.560 --> 0:45:27.120 them eventually. 0:45:27.600 --> 0:45:27.880 Okay. 0:45:29.560 --> 0:45:32.160 I think how long it's too long to leave them 0:45:32.200 --> 0:45:32.680 on red? 0:45:36.320 --> 0:45:39.000 I don't think there exists an answer to that question. 0:45:41.080 --> 0:45:42.080 I think however long. 0:45:42.239 --> 0:45:44.680 We need an international convention on this. We need a 0:45:44.719 --> 0:45:45.520 Geneva convention. 0:45:46.360 --> 0:45:50.000 Uh, it's just set a to set an objective standard amount. 0:45:50.080 --> 0:45:53.120 I mean, I would say six hours is very reasonable, right, 0:45:54.160 --> 0:45:56.960 fucking never respond to them? Who can? It doesn't That's 0:45:56.960 --> 0:45:58.279 what I'm saying. It could be a day or two 0:45:58.400 --> 0:46:00.200 that and that'd be fine also, But I mean if 0:46:00.200 --> 0:46:02.800 it's six or eight hours, I mean, that's very reasonable. 0:46:02.800 --> 0:46:05.800 I would think the real here's the thing, the people 0:46:05.840 --> 0:46:09.520 in your life, who are the real ones. They'll be 0:46:09.719 --> 0:46:13.399 there when you're ready to talk to them and won't 0:46:13.440 --> 0:46:15.879 be upset by you leaving them on red. 0:46:16.120 --> 0:46:22.720 Right? What are you doing your dishes? Building, building a cabinet. 0:46:22.840 --> 0:46:24.480 My dog is playing with his bone. 0:46:26.520 --> 0:46:28.279 You know what, go to Here's what I want you 0:46:28.360 --> 0:46:30.759 to do. Turn your phone off, throw it into a river, 0:46:30.920 --> 0:46:33.160 Go hang out with your dad, Look him in the eye, 0:46:33.719 --> 0:46:37.000 smell him, talk to somebody, give him a hug, feel 0:46:37.080 --> 0:46:37.600 his his. 0:46:40.440 --> 0:46:42.320 This is back to the brain body thing, ye is. 0:46:42.560 --> 0:46:45.680 That's how people communicate in space, like two bodies in space. 0:46:45.920 --> 0:46:46.440 Very important. 0:46:47.200 --> 0:46:48.120 Thank you for calling, Maddie. 0:46:49.920 --> 0:46:51.520 Yeah, of course, thank you. Have a good night. 0:46:51.719 --> 0:46:52.040 You two. 0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:59.399 A life before cell phones sound sounds like it's an 0:46:59.440 --> 0:47:01.279 I mean I I sort of grew up with all 0:47:01.360 --> 0:47:01.680 that shit. 0:47:02.840 --> 0:47:06.560 It was better having a cell phone, for sure, because 0:47:06.800 --> 0:47:09.320 you weren't running, at least in my professional running for 0:47:09.400 --> 0:47:14.759 a phone all the time it's terrible. But smartphones put 0:47:14.800 --> 0:47:16.680 it to a whole different new wrinkle into it. I 0:47:16.760 --> 0:47:18.800 love having emails. If people would just stick with emails, 0:47:18.800 --> 0:47:20.040 I'd be okay, But no one. 0:47:20.680 --> 0:47:22.239 So you say you have this like a thing when 0:47:22.320 --> 0:47:24.600 like every time, okay, but so how many times? Okay, 0:47:24.600 --> 0:47:29.040 how many times? Like I feel like after so many times, 0:47:29.080 --> 0:47:31.480 if somebody texting you, you go, you check it. You 0:47:31.560 --> 0:47:33.640 realize it's like a bullshit thing, somebody sending you a video? 0:47:33.800 --> 0:47:35.279 Just whatever, do you do? 0:47:35.440 --> 0:47:35.640 Not go? 0:47:35.880 --> 0:47:39.799 Do not lose the thing? After a while, after it's happened. 0:47:39.520 --> 0:47:42.880 So many times, it's it's it's not just the buzz 0:47:43.600 --> 0:47:46.279 makes me go yeah, because it's it's so in me 0:47:46.440 --> 0:47:48.480 from the pagers. They used to do the same thing, 0:47:48.960 --> 0:47:50.920 and when it would buzz, it would be an emergency 0:47:51.040 --> 0:47:54.120 every time, or something needed to be addressed immediately. 0:47:54.360 --> 0:47:56.120 But now how often when you when you feel the buzz, 0:47:56.239 --> 0:47:59.239 is it? Yeah? But I still have the you haven't 0:47:59.280 --> 0:47:59.920 you haven't been able to. 0:48:00.239 --> 0:48:02.640 Learn it, and the reaction is still there. And and 0:48:02.760 --> 0:48:05.680 then I and I still do this thing of getting 0:48:05.719 --> 0:48:07.600 to it very fast. I get to it really quickly 0:48:07.640 --> 0:48:09.480 because I feel like, you know, if you're texting me, 0:48:10.040 --> 0:48:12.960 you must want to have a response, That's why you're texting. 0:48:13.000 --> 0:48:18.759 Otherwise you'd email me or whatever, a phone call o CD. 0:48:19.040 --> 0:48:20.759 I mean, you have a little OCD. So I'm very 0:48:20.800 --> 0:48:21.720 compulsive about everything. 0:48:21.800 --> 0:48:23.880 So do you always us keep a you keep inbox 0:48:24.000 --> 0:48:25.440 zero as they call it. 0:48:27.560 --> 0:48:30.040 It's all read in inbox and it's sort of managed, 0:48:30.320 --> 0:48:32.880 sort of to sort of collid and stuff. And then 0:48:32.920 --> 0:48:34.640 I shrink it down every once in a while. But 0:48:35.120 --> 0:48:37.440 but and my wife has, you know, in an inbox 0:48:37.520 --> 0:48:39.800 with one hundred and five thousand unread emails and I 0:48:39.880 --> 0:48:41.360 can't even look at it. I can't look at her 0:48:41.360 --> 0:48:44.880 little phone that read. It drives me crazy. 0:48:45.080 --> 0:48:48.920 But I mean, oh, with emails, it's like that's bullshit. 0:48:49.120 --> 0:48:49.880 Yeah, it's o c D. 0:48:50.000 --> 0:48:53.919 Though, let's see what we got going on here. 0:48:57.480 --> 0:49:05.839 It's a a hard one or this one right intense? Good? 0:49:06.040 --> 0:49:11.520 Hey Dominic, Yes, hey guys, hey Dominic, how you doing man? 0:49:13.480 --> 0:49:14.520 Excellent? Very good? 0:49:14.960 --> 0:49:17.920 Uh, Dominic? It says here that you want to know 0:49:18.000 --> 0:49:20.920 what is normal in a relationship. You feel like your 0:49:21.120 --> 0:49:25.960 wife is a sexual You've been with here for thirty years. 0:49:27.239 --> 0:49:29.440 You're wondering if that's just a natural thing, or if 0:49:29.440 --> 0:49:31.719 it happens after several years of marriage. What you want 0:49:31.719 --> 0:49:32.799 to explain this in your own words? 0:49:34.640 --> 0:49:38.319 Okay, Well, yeah, I mean I feel like I mean, 0:49:38.840 --> 0:49:40.680 when I first met her, I was sixteen years old, 0:49:41.120 --> 0:49:44.520 and you know, she was wasn't really into sex. She 0:49:44.640 --> 0:49:46.759 was a vision at the time, and I thought, well, 0:49:46.840 --> 0:49:50.200 you know, it's obviously that's you know, and that seems 0:49:50.239 --> 0:49:52.040 like a normal thing to not really be into sex 0:49:52.080 --> 0:49:53.799 with your virsion of your kind of you know, you're 0:49:53.840 --> 0:49:56.120 a young woman, and you grew up in a you know, 0:49:56.280 --> 0:49:59.640 a wast household, so you know, I wasn't too worried 0:49:59.680 --> 0:50:01.960 about it. But as time went on, you know, we 0:50:02.080 --> 0:50:06.120 got married, had kids, and just never really was uh. 0:50:07.239 --> 0:50:09.840 I wouldn't talk about sex, didn't want to, you know, 0:50:10.320 --> 0:50:13.840 engage in a whole lot unless it was for you know, 0:50:14.000 --> 0:50:18.000 trying to have children, and so you know, it's. 0:50:17.880 --> 0:50:18.279 Been going on. 0:50:18.440 --> 0:50:21.359 And then a few years ago, my sister, uh said 0:50:21.400 --> 0:50:23.719 to me, she said, do you think he's being manipulated. 0:50:25.040 --> 0:50:28.359 And I never really even considered she she asked if 0:50:28.360 --> 0:50:32.560 I was being manipulated and I never and and I 0:50:32.680 --> 0:50:34.960 never considered that. And then you know, and I said, 0:50:35.040 --> 0:50:36.719 you know, you know she wants to do things I 0:50:36.760 --> 0:50:38.319 want to you know, want her to be happy because 0:50:38.320 --> 0:50:40.200 I want her to have a life, because uh, I mean, 0:50:40.320 --> 0:50:43.880 she did suffer some trauma in her childhood. I mean 0:50:43.960 --> 0:50:46.360 her her father wasn't like, you know, excessively abusive, but 0:50:46.800 --> 0:50:49.440 you know he would he was very strict and wouldn't 0:50:49.440 --> 0:50:51.560 allow her to do things that other kids could do 0:50:51.680 --> 0:50:54.439 and stuff like that, and had you know, her child 0:50:54.640 --> 0:50:57.319 was very kind of rigid or she had to work 0:50:57.320 --> 0:50:59.960 a lot, and you know, there was some physical view. 0:51:00.440 --> 0:51:03.480 Like I said, it was an excessive the point was 0:51:03.560 --> 0:51:06.360 like every single day, but it was like, you know, 0:51:06.360 --> 0:51:07.919 I had to act a certain way and do certain 0:51:07.960 --> 0:51:08.719 things a certain way. 0:51:08.640 --> 0:51:10.759 All right. So what if we talked to her, if 0:51:10.800 --> 0:51:12.799 we hang on, hang on, if it's what's his name? 0:51:13.280 --> 0:51:13.600 Dominic? 0:51:13.680 --> 0:51:15.600 Dominic dominic? If we if we talked to her, what 0:51:15.640 --> 0:51:19.239 would she say? What would she say about your relationship? 0:51:19.320 --> 0:51:22.160 Physical relationship? I said, what's the what's your wife's name? 0:51:22.320 --> 0:51:23.880 They're gonna make up a name. I don't care. What 0:51:24.160 --> 0:51:28.640 do you want to? Oh right, okay. So if I said, Marie, 0:51:29.040 --> 0:51:30.800 what's going on? How do you know what's going with 0:51:30.840 --> 0:51:32.200 you and your husband? Are you guys close? Do you 0:51:32.239 --> 0:51:34.040 have do you have a good physical relationship? What would 0:51:34.080 --> 0:51:34.319 she say? 0:51:36.400 --> 0:51:36.520 Uh? 0:51:36.719 --> 0:51:38.839 Well, she would say we have a good relationship, all right? 0:51:38.880 --> 0:51:39.920 And what about the physical part? 0:51:40.320 --> 0:51:44.239 What she said, they're not no, no, not really a 0:51:44.280 --> 0:51:44.879 physical part. 0:51:45.040 --> 0:51:47.640 And would she say would she say I missed that, 0:51:48.040 --> 0:51:50.040 or we had it at one time, or I'd rather 0:51:50.280 --> 0:51:52.200 be this way. What would her position be? 0:51:52.320 --> 0:51:55.719 You think, Oh, no, she would not miss it at all. 0:51:55.840 --> 0:51:57.600 She's she's definitely. 0:52:01.080 --> 0:52:04.520 Doesn't miss it. I mean, there wasn't really a major 0:52:05.320 --> 0:52:10.840 physical relationship at any point in our relationship. I just 0:52:10.880 --> 0:52:13.480 thought as she got older, maybe that would you know, she. 0:52:13.440 --> 0:52:16.480 Would mature And it usually it usually gets worse unless 0:52:16.600 --> 0:52:19.120 you take hormone therapy things like that, because you have 0:52:19.239 --> 0:52:22.920 to say, you know, menopause. Perimenopause says to shut you know. 0:52:23.000 --> 0:52:25.719 Testosterone is produced by the ovaries, that's the major source 0:52:25.800 --> 0:52:28.560 of libido, and you have to get on some kind 0:52:28.560 --> 0:52:33.359 of vestrogen, tiestosterone, progesterone, kind of replacement has its own risk. 0:52:33.440 --> 0:52:35.640 You have to discuss it with your doctor. But you 0:52:35.719 --> 0:52:37.400 know a lot of women need that in order to 0:52:37.440 --> 0:52:40.080 continue to be sexual after a certain age. So you're 0:52:40.160 --> 0:52:42.759 now fighting biology on top of whatever was going on 0:52:43.200 --> 0:52:46.280 in the first place. I don't know, you sound unhappy 0:52:46.320 --> 0:52:46.960 with what's going on. 0:52:49.080 --> 0:52:52.560 Well, I mean I'm not unhappy with the relationship. Necessarily. 0:52:55.239 --> 0:52:59.080 It bothers me because one time she said to me, 0:52:59.520 --> 0:53:04.320 you know, she doesn't think that she can ever experience 0:53:04.440 --> 0:53:09.840 the feeling that I feel during a sexual during sexual intercourse, 0:53:10.560 --> 0:53:13.080 and you know, they really really hit me hard. 0:53:13.840 --> 0:53:19.239 Does that mean she's never had an orgasm? No, No, 0:53:19.480 --> 0:53:26.400 she has. Okay, I just not. But at least she 0:53:26.560 --> 0:53:29.240 just doesn't. She just dods have the intensity of experience. 0:53:29.280 --> 0:53:32.400 So I don't know, you know, we're not gonna be 0:53:32.400 --> 0:53:35.399 able to solve that here, that's for sure. Yeah, right, 0:53:35.880 --> 0:53:39.520 But I I if it was bothering me, I sit 0:53:39.640 --> 0:53:41.880 down and talk to somebody about it with her. 0:53:42.840 --> 0:53:45.560 Not it doesn't it doesn't sound like. It doesn't sound 0:53:45.560 --> 0:53:47.680 like a situation where I'm being manipulated by her, where 0:53:47.680 --> 0:53:50.680 she's just like using sex as like a tool to like, 0:53:51.040 --> 0:53:53.520 you know, it's just because she has a little libido, 0:53:53.640 --> 0:53:55.920 so she uses that as something way to manipulate me. 0:53:56.000 --> 0:53:58.360 You don't know that, that's nothing you've said to me 0:53:58.640 --> 0:54:03.160 sounds like that at all. Uh and uh and but 0:54:03.320 --> 0:54:05.400 you know you you want to be closer, and that's it. 0:54:05.600 --> 0:54:07.360 You just want to be closer. And there's a physical 0:54:07.400 --> 0:54:10.800 piece that could help you be closer. And you know 0:54:11.239 --> 0:54:12.839 she might not be willing to work on it. Maybe 0:54:12.880 --> 0:54:15.480 she is, but it's something you could definitely work with 0:54:15.560 --> 0:54:17.440 a professional on, somebody who has experienced doing that kind 0:54:17.440 --> 0:54:24.960 of thing. Okay, okay, sorry, good luck, Thanks Dominic. All right, 0:54:25.760 --> 0:54:27.560 see what the dog's barking and stuff? I was imagine? 0:54:27.600 --> 0:54:28.600 Where is he West Virginia? 0:54:31.280 --> 0:54:35.399 I could see Nebraska for him. So have you had 0:54:35.440 --> 0:54:38.759 any experience like couples counseling? Is that ever anything you 0:54:38.840 --> 0:54:39.440 do in your practice? 0:54:39.480 --> 0:54:41.640 We've done that? Oh my practice? Oh sure, oh sure, sure? 0:54:41.800 --> 0:54:44.000 Have I been a patient in that that? Also? 0:54:44.360 --> 0:54:47.839 Now, at what point does the what is the goal? 0:54:48.840 --> 0:54:50.800 I've wondered this because whenever I get a call like that, 0:54:50.840 --> 0:54:53.640 I always wonder, like, is the goal of the couple's 0:54:53.680 --> 0:54:58.120 counsel to fix the relationship or to find the truth? 0:54:58.320 --> 0:55:00.400 Even if the truth is these people should not be 0:55:00.440 --> 0:55:00.800 together this. 0:55:01.239 --> 0:55:04.800 Most good couples therapists will start with those kinds of 0:55:04.880 --> 0:55:06.040 questions like what are we doing here? 0:55:06.800 --> 0:55:08.560 Oh, so they ask them, They're like, do you guys 0:55:08.600 --> 0:55:10.000 want you want to waste it? 0:55:10.040 --> 0:55:11.799 Are we trying to right? Are we trying to break 0:55:11.880 --> 0:55:13.879 up here? Or are we committed and want to stay together? 0:55:13.960 --> 0:55:15.480 Most people that by the time to get the couple's 0:55:15.520 --> 0:55:20.080 therapy are sort of on the way out and uh, 0:55:20.239 --> 0:55:22.360 and they got to get very very honest about that stuff, 0:55:22.400 --> 0:55:24.719 so the therapists can do the job, whatever the job is, 0:55:25.200 --> 0:55:27.640 and it was to make things closer than those different 0:55:27.719 --> 0:55:29.799 versions of that too, or you know, how honest are 0:55:29.840 --> 0:55:33.160 we willing to be here? You know? And uh, you 0:55:33.200 --> 0:55:37.160 know it's it's it's a it's a I like emotionally 0:55:37.239 --> 0:55:40.320 focused therapies of all types, whether it's couples are individual therapy, 0:55:40.480 --> 0:55:42.600 because it's really just supporting people where they are and 0:55:42.719 --> 0:55:44.319 letting them express themselves emotionally more. 0:55:44.520 --> 0:55:46.520 And do you find in your experience that most people 0:55:46.719 --> 0:55:49.120 go the route of, you know, please help us fix 0:55:49.200 --> 0:55:51.360 this versus most people are like. 0:55:51.440 --> 0:55:53.279 Hey, don't I don't do enough for that stuff. But 0:55:53.320 --> 0:55:54.920 I've been told by a couple therapy people that just 0:55:55.000 --> 0:55:58.160 do that that that's the case I do. I'm doing 0:55:58.200 --> 0:56:02.759 it always in the context of drug addiction, alcoholic So 0:56:02.920 --> 0:56:05.880 it's it's trying to get people to hear each other 0:56:05.960 --> 0:56:08.200 for the first time in a long time often, and 0:56:08.440 --> 0:56:14.439 I mean, does that get wild? Yeah, it can be wild. Yeah, Yeah, 0:56:14.719 --> 0:56:17.440 it's very intense. I'm I deal with very very very 0:56:17.480 --> 0:56:18.640 sick people. That's yeah. 0:56:18.680 --> 0:56:21.239 Thing, yea, how do you I've asked you this question 0:56:21.320 --> 0:56:23.080 a bunch of times in various forms and maybe it's 0:56:23.080 --> 0:56:27.759 just me, maybe just me, like how the do you 0:56:27.800 --> 0:56:28.160 deal with that? 0:56:28.520 --> 0:56:31.279 Why did you go home? Upset? And stuff? Again? It's 0:56:31.480 --> 0:56:35.279 it's it's it's kind of like being an ambulance driver 0:56:35.400 --> 0:56:37.520 or something. You have a you have a skill set, 0:56:38.160 --> 0:56:41.320 You drive up to the disaster and you help to 0:56:41.400 --> 0:56:43.759 the best of your ability. That's all you can do. 0:56:44.360 --> 0:56:45.759 And some of the stuff stays with you. Some of 0:56:45.840 --> 0:56:50.799 it is just interesting. You know, is there a. 0:56:50.920 --> 0:56:53.279 Call or or anything like that that has stuck with 0:56:53.400 --> 0:56:54.080 you to this time? 0:56:54.120 --> 0:56:57.240 People always ask us that stuff. I remember a couple 0:56:57.320 --> 0:57:01.480 of Vietnamese twins that were separated when they were little. 0:57:01.600 --> 0:57:03.640 One went to Denver. One went to the Orange County 0:57:03.680 --> 0:57:06.040 here in locally or something and went from Denver called 0:57:06.120 --> 0:57:10.920 us because the one here was being sexually abused and 0:57:10.960 --> 0:57:14.279 we tried to help intervene with that. Had a guy 0:57:14.480 --> 0:57:17.440 named Brutus. It was having no no, his name was, 0:57:17.840 --> 0:57:20.560 can't remember his name. His dog was named Brutus, and 0:57:21.200 --> 0:57:22.480 he was engaged with his dog. 0:57:23.120 --> 0:57:24.800 He engaged to his dog. 0:57:25.080 --> 0:57:27.840 Well, he was having sexual relations with the dog. Specifically, 0:57:27.840 --> 0:57:29.080 the dog was having sex with him. 0:57:29.760 --> 0:57:30.640 The dog was having sex. 0:57:31.280 --> 0:57:34.800 Yeah, yeah, and that was weird. Uh, But I learned 0:57:34.840 --> 0:57:36.960 a lot about zoophilia. I tried to stay up and 0:57:36.960 --> 0:57:39.240 minded about him because we kept him on the line 0:57:39.240 --> 0:57:40.720 for like an hour and just talked to him because 0:57:40.760 --> 0:57:43.240 he was, like you could tell he was quite serious. 0:57:42.960 --> 0:57:46.160 About any any big takeaways from about. 0:57:46.160 --> 0:57:49.520 My sense was that that there was a lot of 0:57:49.800 --> 0:57:54.160 early childhood severe neglect, so like an attachment disorder kind 0:57:54.160 --> 0:57:55.720 of thing. So he attached to a dog or a person. 0:57:55.800 --> 0:57:56.640 What's the difference is there? 0:57:56.640 --> 0:57:56.920 Always? 0:57:57.320 --> 0:57:57.520 Is there? 0:57:57.560 --> 0:57:58.360 Is there always an answer? 0:57:58.440 --> 0:57:58.960 Is it? Is it ever? 0:57:59.120 --> 0:58:01.360 Just this guy likes to have sex with giraffes and 0:58:01.520 --> 0:58:03.120 that's it and you cannot explain it? 0:58:03.560 --> 0:58:07.840 Well, yes, sure, sometimes it's just I mean, just like anything, 0:58:07.920 --> 0:58:12.120 it's it's just sometimes in the brain just but you know, 0:58:12.200 --> 0:58:16.840 so there's is always you know, biological, genetic, and environment. 0:58:16.920 --> 0:58:19.440 It's all the interplay, but it's never all one. Well 0:58:19.640 --> 0:58:23.720 it's rare. It's always combo. They may predominate genetic or 0:58:23.760 --> 0:58:28.000 predominate environment, but it's always that relationship that results in 0:58:28.080 --> 0:58:33.160 the whatever we're looking at. Gene environment interaction. 0:58:33.080 --> 0:58:42.680 Gene environment interaction. Hey, Kelly, they got the stream key, 0:58:42.720 --> 0:58:43.760 Can you're on the stream off for me? 0:58:45.840 --> 0:58:46.640 Yeah, we got it. 0:58:47.560 --> 0:58:53.000 Kelly uh says here that your boyfriend has a rectile 0:58:53.120 --> 0:58:57.120 dysfunction and you're not sure how to approach. 0:58:56.800 --> 0:58:57.640 Him about it. 0:58:57.840 --> 0:58:59.200 I feel like this is one you've. 0:58:59.400 --> 0:59:01.880 Yeah, this is all that time. I'm actually going to 0:59:01.920 --> 0:59:03.960 be working with a men's health organization to try to 0:59:04.320 --> 0:59:08.280 make this a more complete conversation more often. So how 0:59:08.280 --> 0:59:12.880 old is he he is in his thirties, and does 0:59:13.160 --> 0:59:14.400 is he any medication. 0:59:16.320 --> 0:59:16.720 He is not? 0:59:17.840 --> 0:59:20.080 And how often does this happen? Is it all the time? 0:59:20.200 --> 0:59:23.880 Is it some of the time, it's all the time? 0:59:24.520 --> 0:59:24.720 Yeah? 0:59:25.320 --> 0:59:28.080 And is it that can he penetrate or he loses 0:59:28.120 --> 0:59:30.520 it before he penetrates, or he loses it after a while. 0:59:30.600 --> 0:59:31.720 At what point does he lose it? 0:59:33.760 --> 0:59:35.640 Pretty much he loses it after a while. 0:59:35.840 --> 0:59:39.120 And I'm not sure it's completely ED or if it's 0:59:39.280 --> 0:59:42.120 maybe a head thing or maybe a combination of both. 0:59:43.000 --> 0:59:44.360 Will how to open that conversation. 0:59:44.560 --> 0:59:46.160 What do you suspect the head thing is? When you 0:59:46.200 --> 0:59:46.760 say a head. 0:59:46.600 --> 0:59:52.280 Thing, Well, he hasn't been in a lot of relationships 0:59:52.400 --> 0:59:54.760 in his life. I was the first person that he 0:59:54.920 --> 0:59:58.280 was with in his thirties, I think it was nineties, 0:59:58.680 --> 1:00:00.920 and he was not a very extionate person in the 1:00:00.960 --> 1:00:02.200 beginning of the relationship. 1:00:02.360 --> 1:00:03.600 Really hasn't been so. 1:00:05.200 --> 1:00:05.439 Yeah. 1:00:06.200 --> 1:00:09.400 Interesting And when you ask him what what the deal is? 1:00:09.480 --> 1:00:10.040 What does he say? 1:00:12.880 --> 1:00:16.280 I mean, he's pretty talking about it. 1:00:16.480 --> 1:00:20.080 I always have to suggest or ask things because I 1:00:20.160 --> 1:00:24.280 don't want to damage maybe his masculinity. I know that's 1:00:24.320 --> 1:00:26.280 kind of a sensitive subject for some guys. 1:00:26.720 --> 1:00:29.160 Wait, what does he say when when he's what's his 1:00:29.280 --> 1:00:30.600 explanation for what's happening? 1:00:34.400 --> 1:00:37.760 Really he just says TD. Some days he says he's 1:00:37.880 --> 1:00:40.720 just in it, sat about it. But even before that 1:00:41.200 --> 1:00:44.360 was just the ED and he couldn't perform. So I 1:00:44.360 --> 1:00:46.400 don't know if it's just getting worse what. 1:00:46.680 --> 1:00:50.080 What does he say is the reason he's struggling? Does 1:00:50.160 --> 1:00:54.080 he think, does he think about some explanation? Does he say, Oh, 1:00:54.160 --> 1:00:57.400 it's I'm tired, or it's too long, or it's too sensitive. 1:00:57.440 --> 1:00:59.480 What does he say? What is your sort of description 1:00:59.560 --> 1:00:59.959 of the issue. 1:01:00.600 --> 1:01:05.800 Well, a definite cause for why it's happening. 1:01:06.200 --> 1:01:07.960 So he goes, I don't know, it just happens. Is 1:01:08.000 --> 1:01:08.720 that that's his thing? 1:01:10.720 --> 1:01:10.919 Yeah? 1:01:10.960 --> 1:01:15.640 Pretty much? Okay, so it maybe just maybe what. 1:01:18.120 --> 1:01:20.920 Maybe just getting older and not exercise as much. 1:01:20.960 --> 1:01:22.280 I guess is he overweight? 1:01:24.680 --> 1:01:24.960 He's not. 1:01:25.320 --> 1:01:28.680 Okay, so he's not that much older. If you're over 1:01:28.760 --> 1:01:30.720 sixty five, well we could talk about it. But in 1:01:30.800 --> 1:01:34.480 his he's in his thirties, right, yeah, yeah, it's not that. However, 1:01:34.800 --> 1:01:36.080 does he smoke cigarettes? 1:01:38.040 --> 1:01:38.680 No, he does not. 1:01:39.120 --> 1:01:41.440 Well, he still ought to talk to a doctor because 1:01:41.760 --> 1:01:45.840 most young males, middle aged males that have wrecked on dysfunction, 1:01:45.920 --> 1:01:49.360 there's a medical reason and so he needs a thorough 1:01:49.440 --> 1:01:52.920 complete medical workup, heart disease being number one, or vascular 1:01:52.960 --> 1:01:55.480 disease of all types. But there can be hormonal problems, 1:01:55.520 --> 1:01:57.520 there can be neurological but there can be lots of 1:01:57.560 --> 1:02:00.840 stuff that is contributing to this problem, and it needs 1:02:00.880 --> 1:02:04.760 to be fully evaluated. So numero uno, complete medical work 1:02:04.840 --> 1:02:07.000 up and some of the stuff that can cause erect 1:02:07.040 --> 1:02:08.760 a disfunction. It's kind of serious and needs to know 1:02:08.840 --> 1:02:12.480 about it. So numerouno, that's number one. Number two, you 1:02:12.600 --> 1:02:17.800 what well not to go, not not to go to 1:02:17.920 --> 1:02:21.920 evaluate his erectile dysfunction, to evaluate the potential causes, what 1:02:22.160 --> 1:02:25.160 medical causes might be might be contributing here that could 1:02:25.200 --> 1:02:27.840 be dangerous, and he needs to know about it, Diabetes, 1:02:27.840 --> 1:02:31.760 all kinds of stuff, so that that has to happen. 1:02:32.240 --> 1:02:35.720 Number two, Younger men are typically kind of younger than 1:02:35.800 --> 1:02:39.880 thirties when they have erecti dysfunctioned. It is very common 1:02:39.960 --> 1:02:44.959 these days, and it is often from porn excess. Guys 1:02:45.080 --> 1:02:49.160 are losing their chi to the pornographic material and it's 1:02:49.200 --> 1:02:49.720 getting worse. 1:02:49.760 --> 1:02:52.280 You can go inside the metaverse and you know, fuck 1:02:52.360 --> 1:02:55.880 a pocket pussy that you know corresponds with some sort 1:02:55.880 --> 1:02:58.560 of you know, I mean, it's only going to get progressed. 1:02:58.880 --> 1:03:01.480 It's going to get that way, but if it's not already, 1:03:01.840 --> 1:03:05.560 But but you know, men are losing their cheat, depleting 1:03:05.600 --> 1:03:08.840 their chi to the metaverse. Yes, and I don't think 1:03:08.880 --> 1:03:11.160 that's what's going on here, but just for other people listening, 1:03:11.240 --> 1:03:13.120 that's another reason for younger men to get this thing 1:03:13.840 --> 1:03:16.680 and almost don't matter what the cause, once the medical 1:03:16.720 --> 1:03:20.920 issues have been ironed out, using a PDE five inhibitor, 1:03:21.040 --> 1:03:22.680 these you know, medicines that we're used to using for 1:03:22.720 --> 1:03:25.360 rectile dysfunction can kind of get them back a little bit. 1:03:25.800 --> 1:03:29.160 There's no problem using those medication, you know, even if 1:03:29.200 --> 1:03:31.320 people that don't have chronic need for them or aren't 1:03:31.360 --> 1:03:34.800 very much older with whatever medical issues. It can be 1:03:34.880 --> 1:03:36.760 a way to get over anxiety. Like if somebody has 1:03:36.800 --> 1:03:39.280 anxiety then they worry that it's going to happen again, 1:03:40.000 --> 1:03:42.080 Get on the PDE five and you be more likely 1:03:42.160 --> 1:03:44.520 to happen. You'll just sort of get over the anxiety. 1:03:45.080 --> 1:03:48.680 The other thing is if the erectile dysfunction occurs early, 1:03:48.920 --> 1:03:53.240 particularly more often than not, again, particularly with the younger males, 1:03:54.160 --> 1:03:56.880 it's because not because he's not into you, it's because 1:03:56.880 --> 1:04:00.960 he's two into really, yes, it's the guys are have 1:04:01.160 --> 1:04:02.920 sex because they want to be there. So they want 1:04:03.000 --> 1:04:04.560 to be there, trust me, or they would not be there. 1:04:04.880 --> 1:04:07.919 But if they lose the direction early and they tell 1:04:07.960 --> 1:04:10.320 you it's I'm too into you. That is the truth. 1:04:11.120 --> 1:04:14.040 It creates such an overwhelming desire to please and to 1:04:14.080 --> 1:04:15.760 be a part of this, and they're so taken with 1:04:15.880 --> 1:04:16.400 this person. 1:04:17.800 --> 1:04:19.080 Oh, it's like a stress thing. 1:04:19.200 --> 1:04:21.200 It's an anxiety kind of an anxiety thing. It's certainly 1:04:21.200 --> 1:04:22.280 being overwhelmed by it, like. 1:04:22.240 --> 1:04:23.440 A performance anxiety type. 1:04:23.440 --> 1:04:25.640 It's kind of it's all these things together, it's all 1:04:25.680 --> 1:04:28.360 that together. Yeah, yeah, you what. 1:04:28.560 --> 1:04:29.120 I hear a lot. 1:04:29.400 --> 1:04:31.640 I think that could definitely part of it, because he 1:04:31.720 --> 1:04:34.120 does tell me often you know, it's not you, it's 1:04:34.240 --> 1:04:37.840 you know, it's not you. So but if it's not me, 1:04:37.960 --> 1:04:38.560 then what is it? 1:04:38.760 --> 1:04:42.000 Well? Right? And it it rarely is the female partner 1:04:42.040 --> 1:04:44.160 when men ever tell this function like that's that's that's 1:04:44.240 --> 1:04:46.080 the exception when that happens. 1:04:46.160 --> 1:04:49.760 You said specifically that you're having problems approaching him about it. 1:04:49.840 --> 1:04:54.160 What about what is making you nervous about starting the conversation. 1:04:55.720 --> 1:04:58.600 Because I know that you know, subjects like that, especially 1:04:58.720 --> 1:05:02.400 involving their feeling parts, can maybe be a little I 1:05:02.440 --> 1:05:02.720 don't know. 1:05:02.760 --> 1:05:08.440 I don't want to hurt his He's a very sensitive man, so. 1:05:08.520 --> 1:05:10.240 I don't want to approach that in the wrong way, 1:05:10.360 --> 1:05:13.680 especially because I'm not good at explaining myself. 1:05:16.200 --> 1:05:17.320 He'd be a little abrasive. 1:05:17.360 --> 1:05:20.560 You know you're a little abrasive. 1:05:22.720 --> 1:05:23.720 Yeah, well we don't. 1:05:23.760 --> 1:05:25.800 I don't experience her that way. But anyway, let's say 1:05:25.840 --> 1:05:32.400 you are. Don't worry. You're not going to offend him. 1:05:32.440 --> 1:05:34.200 He knows he's having it right down as far as 1:05:34.560 --> 1:05:36.720 he wants to solve it too, You're not. By talking 1:05:36.760 --> 1:05:38.360 about it, You're not going to somehow make it worse. 1:05:38.400 --> 1:05:40.280 I almost feel like that makes it better because if 1:05:40.320 --> 1:05:42.959 you start the because he he might want to start 1:05:43.000 --> 1:05:45.360 the conversation, but you going out there starting at first, 1:05:45.440 --> 1:05:48.480 it's like, yeah, you know, Okay, she knows, we both know, 1:05:48.600 --> 1:05:49.880 we both want to fix the issue. 1:05:50.080 --> 1:05:54.280 Yeah, men men generally aim to please. It's generally true 1:05:54.320 --> 1:05:54.680 about men. 1:05:54.880 --> 1:05:55.920 He's down to work it out. 1:05:56.040 --> 1:05:59.080 Yeah, what's that? 1:05:59.240 --> 1:06:00.440 I think she said? Why does and you put more 1:06:00.440 --> 1:06:02.200 effort into place? I think that's what he said. 1:06:03.880 --> 1:06:07.560 Well, more effort would be getting a medical evaluation. Really, 1:06:07.600 --> 1:06:09.200 that's what he needs to do. He really, really really 1:06:09.240 --> 1:06:09.720 needs to do that. 1:06:10.200 --> 1:06:13.000 Kelly, good luck to you and starting this conversation again. 1:06:13.080 --> 1:06:14.840 It seems like both parties want to get to the 1:06:15.040 --> 1:06:18.080 to the brunt of this issue. So take your best 1:06:18.120 --> 1:06:19.040 foot forward. 1:06:18.800 --> 1:06:24.120 Go for it. Yeah, so I'm floating in the clouds. Sorry, 1:06:24.680 --> 1:06:26.440 I get what's with the floating in the clouds? 1:06:26.480 --> 1:06:27.520 What's with the floating in the clouds? 1:06:27.680 --> 1:06:29.440 Geckos don't normally live in the cloud do they? 1:06:29.560 --> 1:06:29.640 Oh? 1:06:29.680 --> 1:06:32.200 Well, I'm sort of like the whole idea is we're traveling, 1:06:32.440 --> 1:06:33.960 you know, all sort of parts of the universe. 1:06:34.000 --> 1:06:35.800 So today we're in the traveling. 1:06:35.880 --> 1:06:39.720 No, we're not necessarily time traveling, but we're traveling. We're 1:06:39.760 --> 1:06:41.680 just traveling, just travel traveling. 1:06:41.720 --> 1:06:43.760 We're in the you know, sometimes we're I have a 1:06:43.880 --> 1:06:45.880 hanker and for flies. Does that have something to do 1:06:45.920 --> 1:06:46.360 with putting this? 1:06:47.560 --> 1:06:47.680 Oh? 1:06:47.840 --> 1:06:50.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh and that's gonna last for a 1:06:50.120 --> 1:06:51.000 few days, a few. 1:06:50.920 --> 1:06:55.200 Days side effect. And then the gecko's sexuality. 1:06:54.640 --> 1:06:56.160 Are they Are they sexually active? 1:06:56.240 --> 1:06:57.720 We know how they do it or what's going on 1:06:57.840 --> 1:07:01.240 with them? I feel like very concerned about that. 1:07:01.480 --> 1:07:03.800 Oh you know, I feel like echoes are just as 1:07:03.800 --> 1:07:04.920 sexually active as humans. 1:07:05.240 --> 1:07:05.520 Do they? 1:07:05.720 --> 1:07:05.880 Is it? 1:07:07.080 --> 1:07:07.240 You know? 1:07:08.240 --> 1:07:08.479 Good? 1:07:08.680 --> 1:07:12.600 Do they have a kloaca or the penis and a vagina? Penises? 1:07:12.640 --> 1:07:15.720 And I actually I feel like I lay eggs. 1:07:15.520 --> 1:07:18.480 Is maybe just like the eggs and put his stuff 1:07:18.480 --> 1:07:18.919 over the egg. 1:07:19.160 --> 1:07:23.160 The gecko penis in relation to uh so, like obviously 1:07:23.320 --> 1:07:26.560 a a a if you a gecko penis is smaller 1:07:26.640 --> 1:07:28.560 than a human penis. But if we're putting them to 1:07:28.600 --> 1:07:31.560 scale to the body, the gecko penis is actually bigger. 1:07:31.640 --> 1:07:32.440 Oh I feel much better. 1:07:32.600 --> 1:07:34.560 Yeah yeah, So I mean like when you put them 1:07:34.600 --> 1:07:36.440 to in comparison to the rest of the body, the. 1:07:37.040 --> 1:07:39.360 Are they doing sort of doggy gecko style? 1:07:39.640 --> 1:07:39.760 Oh? 1:07:39.800 --> 1:07:42.280 They do it all different ways. They do it doggy style, Missonario. 1:07:42.360 --> 1:07:44.160 Okay, all right, so I was worrying about these things. 1:07:44.240 --> 1:07:46.440 Gecko sixty nine ing it was very popular in the 1:07:46.480 --> 1:07:49.000 community with that tongue, can do it across the room. 1:07:49.080 --> 1:07:51.040 Oh exactly. I mean you know they have the sticky 1:07:51.520 --> 1:07:55.160 actually know, like I actually know only one fact about geckos, okay, 1:07:55.320 --> 1:07:58.520 truly that they can stick to any surface except teflon. 1:07:58.960 --> 1:08:02.640 Oh why that is why it's made to be non 1:08:02.720 --> 1:08:07.040 stick I mean to be fair, ok, all right, they 1:08:07.080 --> 1:08:16.439 were all around the let's see, you ever wanted to 1:08:16.520 --> 1:08:18.840 do the insurance job for Geico? 1:08:19.439 --> 1:08:21.920 I get I get that. A lot of people asking 1:08:21.960 --> 1:08:23.760 me like, oh, you're the Geico gek. A lot a 1:08:23.800 --> 1:08:24.920 lot of people think I'm a frog. 1:08:25.520 --> 1:08:28.439 Yeah, that's the thing. I get the frog asked the 1:08:28.840 --> 1:08:29.320 set up here. 1:08:29.439 --> 1:08:31.000 Yeah, yeah, And I don't know how to sort of 1:08:31.120 --> 1:08:32.800 make myself stand out as more of a gecko than 1:08:32.800 --> 1:08:33.160 a frog. 1:08:33.560 --> 1:08:37.400 I would say that there's sort of there's sort of 1:08:37.479 --> 1:08:40.920 some sort of what's the word I'm looking for when 1:08:40.960 --> 1:08:43.519 you're you're being cast out from a job and you 1:08:43.760 --> 1:08:47.519 can't pigeonholed, But I mean having a cartoon gecko. I 1:08:47.600 --> 1:08:49.960 mean that seems like there should be some legalities there. 1:08:50.000 --> 1:08:51.320 You should be able to apply for that job. 1:08:51.840 --> 1:08:53.400 Yes, you know what I mean, Yes, they should. They 1:08:53.400 --> 1:08:57.240 should open it up to all forms of screminatory. Yes, yeah, 1:08:57.560 --> 1:08:57.800 it is. 1:08:58.000 --> 1:09:00.360 And so I would think and think about sweet that 1:09:00.439 --> 1:09:02.439 job would be. I mean great, you'd be great at it. 1:09:03.760 --> 1:09:05.280 I would, I would, I would do one off. I 1:09:05.320 --> 1:09:06.800 don't think I would want to like be the new 1:09:06.960 --> 1:09:09.519 guy code guy. I mean, that's that's a whole you know, 1:09:09.600 --> 1:09:12.000 then everything it's a little bit of corporate. 1:09:11.840 --> 1:09:14.560 You know, I don't do that. You don't I get that. 1:09:15.040 --> 1:09:17.200 That's a whole, that's the whole thing, right, sure enough, 1:09:20.960 --> 1:09:26.360 Hey Clarence, Yes, Sir Clarence says, here you have a 1:09:26.680 --> 1:09:27.920 a pooping related question. 1:09:30.520 --> 1:09:33.760 Sure, I do actually have a pooping related question. 1:09:33.840 --> 1:09:36.920 You call this a brown question in your mom's house. 1:09:37.240 --> 1:09:39.320 I'm so glad that you know that there's a word 1:09:39.479 --> 1:09:40.200 for this, because. 1:09:42.720 --> 1:09:44.960 The first I just gonna say, try it out, you know, 1:09:45.360 --> 1:09:48.240 try say he's he's from your mom's house. Try it out, 1:09:48.280 --> 1:09:50.479 Try it out. That's a that's a that's a greeting 1:09:50.600 --> 1:09:51.439 from your mom's house. 1:09:51.600 --> 1:09:55.640 Try it out. Try what's the what's the story behind that? 1:09:55.760 --> 1:09:59.559 The original the original cool guy o G. 1:09:59.720 --> 1:10:02.599 Cool Guy, Robert Paul Champagne. I went and visited him 1:10:02.640 --> 1:10:05.160 in New York City in his apartment, which was quite 1:10:05.160 --> 1:10:08.559 an experience, I must say, But hey, Jeans, what's going 1:10:08.600 --> 1:10:09.040 on mommy? 1:10:11.280 --> 1:10:15.680 So my thing is is like with my pooping is 1:10:15.800 --> 1:10:20.360 that I tend to poop a lot and then sometimes 1:10:20.400 --> 1:10:26.639 I don't. But like it's it's strange because I say, well, 1:10:26.840 --> 1:10:32.479 full disclosure in the morning. If I eat something at night, 1:10:33.280 --> 1:10:36.639 I can see it, and I'm just like worried about 1:10:36.720 --> 1:10:41.040 my digestive system. I mean, I guess I'm who, I'm 1:10:41.200 --> 1:10:43.320 real skinny in my whole life. I don't know if 1:10:43.360 --> 1:10:44.560 that has something to do with it. 1:10:45.160 --> 1:10:47.599 So it's something about the transit time through your bowels. 1:10:47.640 --> 1:10:50.519 You're not absorbing things quite as well as efficiently as 1:10:50.560 --> 1:10:53.320 you might. Like, I wouldn't worry about it. You know, 1:10:53.400 --> 1:10:57.080 if you if you had an actual absorption issue of 1:10:57.200 --> 1:11:01.080 fats or proteins or something, you would have other symptoms. Maybe, 1:11:01.560 --> 1:11:04.360 you know, it's consider yourself lucky. Whatever it is. It 1:11:04.439 --> 1:11:07.840 keeps you skinny, increase your calories, increase your you know, 1:11:08.000 --> 1:11:11.200 amount of food, and you'll compensate for that. But but 1:11:11.840 --> 1:11:12.759 is that the brown issue. 1:11:15.560 --> 1:11:18.800 Yeah, I mean, it's just like it's But the thing 1:11:18.920 --> 1:11:21.800 too that also happens is the notice is if I, 1:11:22.120 --> 1:11:25.439 like on the weekends when I'm not working, I tend 1:11:25.600 --> 1:11:29.559 to eat overeat, and then it'll be like Monday morning 1:11:30.479 --> 1:11:33.120 and I'll poop like four or five times in the morning. Okay, 1:11:33.160 --> 1:11:36.719 and we're talking normal poops four or five times within 1:11:36.880 --> 1:11:39.280 like a two hour period. That blows my mind. 1:11:39.479 --> 1:11:44.040 That's all good, Yo, Yeah, you're fine. You should listen 1:11:44.040 --> 1:11:45.880 to after Dark what that I do when one of 1:11:45.960 --> 1:11:49.600 my uh, one of the people that in the in 1:11:49.680 --> 1:11:51.080 the one of my engineers. 1:11:50.760 --> 1:11:51.559 You mean, the gargoyle. 1:11:52.160 --> 1:11:55.200 The gargoyle yes, good, you listen, well done. He's doing 1:11:55.240 --> 1:11:58.160 once a month, dude, he's once once once a month. 1:12:00.800 --> 1:12:01.759 It makes no sense. 1:12:02.400 --> 1:12:05.679 Wild and you're and you're telling me that's that's healthy. 1:12:06.439 --> 1:12:09.360 No, I wouldn't say it's healthy. But everyone's worried about him. 1:12:09.360 --> 1:12:12.599 He's fine with it, but there's things that could happen, 1:12:12.680 --> 1:12:15.439 but he won't address it. So, you know, I would 1:12:15.439 --> 1:12:18.600 think that there is some sort of No, he does it, 1:12:18.840 --> 1:12:20.639 he does it for psychological reasons. 1:12:21.160 --> 1:12:25.000 Oh he wait, so he's he's doing this intentionally on purpose? 1:12:25.400 --> 1:12:27.720 How does and then when he does ship, yes, he 1:12:27.960 --> 1:12:31.120 puts his feet tell him I'll let I'll let. 1:12:34.600 --> 1:12:39.479 Clarence. So when he when he his monthly bowel movement, 1:12:40.160 --> 1:12:44.720 he stands, he puts the seat up, stands on the 1:12:44.840 --> 1:12:49.040 rim the toilet itself and on the rim and squats. 1:12:48.640 --> 1:12:53.839 It down like a gargo exactly. He's hovering above the toilet. 1:12:55.680 --> 1:12:57.759 Yeah, it's pretty and I feel that on a spiritual 1:12:57.880 --> 1:13:00.200 level though, like with the whole it thing. 1:13:00.520 --> 1:13:00.960 Yeah. Yeah. 1:13:01.160 --> 1:13:03.439 My dad had no filter back in the day, and 1:13:04.000 --> 1:13:06.040 I was in third grade and he rented that movie 1:13:06.160 --> 1:13:09.880 and I watched it by myself in the middle of 1:13:09.960 --> 1:13:11.559 the country in the pitch Black. 1:13:12.200 --> 1:13:16.679 I am to this day, Clarence, and and he separated 1:13:16.680 --> 1:13:21.000 at birth. Well, nice to meet you, Clarence, to. 1:13:21.000 --> 1:13:21.479 Meet you too. 1:13:22.760 --> 1:13:24.040 Better believe him coming up in me. 1:13:24.240 --> 1:13:26.400 You better believe it. Thank you, buddy. 1:13:27.040 --> 1:13:29.360 Okay, you said he does this for psychological reasons. 1:13:29.760 --> 1:13:32.000 That's what Clarence was talking about. He saw the movie It, 1:13:32.240 --> 1:13:34.519 and he became and he was kind of traumatized as 1:13:34.520 --> 1:13:37.200 a kid, and he became overwhelmed not just by it, 1:13:37.320 --> 1:13:40.160 but other shit going on his life, and he became 1:13:40.200 --> 1:13:42.360 overwhelmingly preoccupied with that something was going to come up 1:13:42.360 --> 1:13:45.000 out of the toilet drain ah ah. 1:13:45.400 --> 1:13:47.400 That's why he stands up so that. 1:13:47.760 --> 1:13:50.200 Yeah, and it's also why he avoids the toilet. And 1:13:50.320 --> 1:13:53.080 so he became really good at controlling his bowels, and 1:13:53.120 --> 1:13:54.719 he's he's Ninja with his bowels. 1:13:54.760 --> 1:13:56.760 Now, now what about peeting? Is that better? Because he 1:13:56.800 --> 1:13:57.559 can see what's. 1:13:57.400 --> 1:13:59.000 In front of gees? So he doesn't have thing with 1:13:59.040 --> 1:14:01.080 that doesn't everything with being It doesn't seem like it. 1:14:01.479 --> 1:14:02.559 You gotta listen to my podcast. 1:14:04.439 --> 1:14:06.559 I was listening today. 1:14:07.160 --> 1:14:08.519 Did that one after dark? 1:14:08.600 --> 1:14:08.720 Well? 1:14:08.840 --> 1:14:10.719 No, I was what's the most recent when. 1:14:10.600 --> 1:14:12.640 You were you you did? It depends what I've got 1:14:12.720 --> 1:14:14.840 different stuff. You probably did a streaming show. Was probably 1:14:14.840 --> 1:14:15.559 just playing with streaming. 1:14:15.640 --> 1:14:18.080 I listened to a streaming show. 1:14:18.600 --> 1:14:19.400 I did, I did, I did. 1:14:19.560 --> 1:14:22.240 I did my research a little bit. I know you're 1:14:22.400 --> 1:14:22.880 a doctor. 1:14:23.120 --> 1:14:27.280 That's good guide. You knew that. Excellent. 1:14:31.400 --> 1:14:43.080 Hello Alex, Hi Alex, Alex, were Alex doing good? It 1:14:43.160 --> 1:14:46.920 says here that you want some dating advice. You've been 1:14:46.960 --> 1:14:50.160 talking to a guy for a month and he seems 1:14:50.320 --> 1:14:53.240 very reserved. It seems like you're wondering, like is it 1:14:53.400 --> 1:14:55.280 me or is it him? What should I do about 1:14:55.320 --> 1:14:56.080 this type of thing? 1:14:57.280 --> 1:14:57.439 Right? 1:14:58.520 --> 1:14:58.760 Yeah? 1:15:00.120 --> 1:15:06.280 So I actually hit him up and we talked almost 1:15:06.479 --> 1:15:09.639 every day, like all day for a couple of weeks, 1:15:10.920 --> 1:15:14.599 and then we hung out. And after that it went 1:15:14.720 --> 1:15:19.960 from like every day to once a day or not 1:15:20.160 --> 1:15:20.519 even that. 1:15:21.920 --> 1:15:24.080 I don't know what should hang out every day? And 1:15:24.080 --> 1:15:26.160 then it went to wait a minute, so you said 1:15:26.240 --> 1:15:29.799 you were texting like all day and then it slowed 1:15:29.800 --> 1:15:30.559 down to once a day. 1:15:32.520 --> 1:15:33.680 Yeah, after we hung out. 1:15:34.479 --> 1:15:37.240 I I have a thing of like when there's games 1:15:37.360 --> 1:15:39.720 going on, it's like forget it, fucking forget it, to 1:15:39.760 --> 1:15:43.720 get it, forget it. I really truly believe that like 1:15:44.320 --> 1:15:45.559 people either will or they won't. 1:15:45.760 --> 1:15:48.280 And it's all aspect the males. If they want to 1:15:48.320 --> 1:15:51.679 be with you, they let you know they they want 1:15:51.680 --> 1:15:52.080 to be with you. 1:15:52.280 --> 1:15:53.719 What I'm thinking too, right. 1:15:53.800 --> 1:15:55.960 Yeah, I mean there are men that you know, don't 1:15:56.000 --> 1:15:58.880 get that way or sort of or aloof whatever. But 1:15:59.120 --> 1:16:01.400 most men, if they're into you, they're into you, and 1:16:01.680 --> 1:16:06.720 it's obvious. And that's who you want. Know, you want 1:16:06.760 --> 1:16:08.880 guys that are into you, not guys that are half in. 1:16:09.080 --> 1:16:11.280 You want guys that are in and this guy, for 1:16:11.400 --> 1:16:13.439 whatever reason is not so man who knows what the 1:16:13.479 --> 1:16:16.400 reason is, they're his and you just kind of find 1:16:16.439 --> 1:16:17.360 the guy that is into you. 1:16:17.800 --> 1:16:18.000 Yeah. 1:16:18.280 --> 1:16:20.759 I mean that's another thing where it's like you knows. 1:16:20.720 --> 1:16:22.759 A lot of geckos before you find the right one. 1:16:23.760 --> 1:16:26.840 That turns into a some some sort of royalty. But 1:16:27.400 --> 1:16:29.080 I mean that's the thing is like it could be 1:16:29.240 --> 1:16:31.439 any other I wouldn't want you to get hung up 1:16:31.479 --> 1:16:33.639 on like, oh it's me, because it could be any 1:16:33.920 --> 1:16:35.200 number of miscellaneous reasons. 1:16:35.280 --> 1:16:40.800 Yeah. It to put the locusts on yourself sort of 1:16:41.040 --> 1:16:45.200 put is denying how complex relationships are. Who knows where 1:16:45.240 --> 1:16:47.080 he is in his life, who knows who else he 1:16:47.200 --> 1:16:49.960 might be dating? Who maybe he's who knows what's going 1:16:50.000 --> 1:16:52.160 on in his life, who knows what he's feeling thinking, 1:16:52.240 --> 1:16:54.040 and whether he'd be feeling and thinking something different at 1:16:54.040 --> 1:16:56.200 a different time. Who cares he's not that into you 1:16:56.360 --> 1:16:59.120 right now? That should that should be a concern of yours. 1:17:01.080 --> 1:17:03.639 So yeah, I guess that's kind of what I was wondering, 1:17:03.760 --> 1:17:06.920 because he does he has a good excuse. He has 1:17:06.960 --> 1:17:10.639 a job where he can't talk to me for hours 1:17:10.680 --> 1:17:11.080 at a time. 1:17:11.160 --> 1:17:14.639 Said he has a good excuse, his dogs. He said, 1:17:14.680 --> 1:17:18.519 he has a job, job, job, Well, I mean, I 1:17:19.120 --> 1:17:22.200 mean the excuse, it doesn't even matter. It's like, she's 1:17:22.200 --> 1:17:23.800 twenty four, twenty four? 1:17:24.160 --> 1:17:25.320 Does he take you out all the time? 1:17:27.680 --> 1:17:31.320 No, I actually have been the initiator every time, which 1:17:31.400 --> 1:17:33.240 is why I feel like he's just reserved. 1:17:34.960 --> 1:17:36.840 Alex, are you like what are you looking? 1:17:37.960 --> 1:17:38.439 Why are you? 1:17:38.880 --> 1:17:39.080 Are you? 1:17:39.320 --> 1:17:39.360 Like? 1:17:39.520 --> 1:17:41.680 I am out for a relationship and so you're what 1:17:41.760 --> 1:17:43.800 you're on Tinder and like swiping and like out looking 1:17:43.840 --> 1:17:45.960 for something? Or did this guy just kind of happen 1:17:46.240 --> 1:17:47.000 into your life? 1:17:48.840 --> 1:17:48.880 No? 1:17:49.360 --> 1:17:54.200 No, So I actually, about seven months ago, got out 1:17:54.200 --> 1:17:56.559 of a really really bad relationship and I had kind 1:17:56.600 --> 1:18:01.200 of sworn it off and then I I was. I 1:18:01.320 --> 1:18:06.439 met him and it's so lame, but like we were 1:18:06.560 --> 1:18:08.840 just talking, Like I was getting embarrassed because I felt 1:18:08.880 --> 1:18:10.960 like I wouldn't shut up because I was so excited 1:18:11.000 --> 1:18:12.519 to talk to him and he was talking to me. 1:18:14.479 --> 1:18:16.840 So I found him on social media and I talked 1:18:16.840 --> 1:18:18.280 to him and I don't want anything. 1:18:18.680 --> 1:18:20.040 I guess, like I'm. 1:18:19.840 --> 1:18:23.800 Still feeling really reserved myself because of the last relationship. 1:18:25.760 --> 1:18:27.920 You do want to know, like how long you've been 1:18:27.960 --> 1:18:28.400 talking to him? 1:18:28.720 --> 1:18:30.120 How long was the last one? Yeah? 1:18:31.560 --> 1:18:33.000 How long was so the last one was? 1:18:34.920 --> 1:18:36.800 How long ago was it? Or how long did it last? 1:18:36.960 --> 1:18:39.720 How long ago did it break up? For real? 1:18:40.720 --> 1:18:41.240 September? 1:18:41.880 --> 1:18:44.720 Okay, so you're still in the sort of reboundary get 1:18:44.760 --> 1:18:46.840 over at phase. I mean, it's about time to have 1:18:46.880 --> 1:18:49.640 a real relationship again. But but I don't know this 1:18:49.760 --> 1:18:52.800 doesn't Does this guy do something very very special for you? 1:18:52.960 --> 1:18:55.080 Is there something about him that you can't find another person? 1:18:57.439 --> 1:18:59.120 No, But I mean that's kind of what I was saying, 1:18:59.280 --> 1:19:01.560 was like I didn't expect to want to talk to 1:19:01.680 --> 1:19:03.880 somebody like this already. 1:19:04.240 --> 1:19:07.320 So for me to have that, you'll you'll you will 1:19:07.400 --> 1:19:10.960 find it again. I will declare today with my get 1:19:11.000 --> 1:19:14.800 go hand, you will find it today again. You will 1:19:14.840 --> 1:19:17.400 find it again. That's that's you wanting to be connected 1:19:17.400 --> 1:19:21.000 to other people. And that's fine. But by the way, 1:19:22.720 --> 1:19:26.000 be careful with that that speed talking, you know, where 1:19:26.000 --> 1:19:28.040 you can't stop talking to somebody. You know what I'm 1:19:28.040 --> 1:19:31.040 talking about. Men don't like Men don't. 1:19:30.920 --> 1:19:36.360 Like that the constant Yeah, well I don't know. 1:19:36.400 --> 1:19:38.120 I mean I I don't mind it because I find 1:19:38.120 --> 1:19:40.360 it entertaining, but I know generally men are just. 1:19:40.400 --> 1:19:42.479 The kind of well, well if if that's well, if 1:19:42.600 --> 1:19:45.040 if if she wants that, you know, do you think 1:19:45.040 --> 1:19:46.880 she should find a guy who like that? 1:19:48.800 --> 1:19:50.840 I mean that exists and that guy I like that stuff. 1:19:50.880 --> 1:19:55.360 I likes get that entertaining to just keep going. I 1:19:55.400 --> 1:19:58.240 don't I don't have to talk. It's good. I talk 1:19:58.320 --> 1:19:59.720 for a living. It's turned out. 1:20:02.000 --> 1:20:05.000 Uh, but that's something that I thought about as well, 1:20:05.080 --> 1:20:07.439 of like, maybe he's just not a texture and we 1:20:07.600 --> 1:20:08.920 just texted that much at first. 1:20:09.080 --> 1:20:10.519 You're over thinking it. 1:20:11.520 --> 1:20:11.920 That's the thing. 1:20:12.040 --> 1:20:14.160 If you're if you're even if you're even in this, 1:20:14.400 --> 1:20:16.840 if you're even in this realm of thinking about it 1:20:16.960 --> 1:20:19.800 too much, it's like a fucking you shouldn't have to 1:20:19.840 --> 1:20:21.040 think about this, just you. 1:20:22.560 --> 1:20:23.599 Should enjoy each other. 1:20:24.120 --> 1:20:27.200 That's that I'm too deep, Okay. 1:20:27.320 --> 1:20:28.760 Alex, good luck to you, Thanks for calling. 1:20:28.840 --> 1:20:29.320 Thanks Alex. 1:20:31.720 --> 1:20:33.519 I get a lot of I get a lot of 1:20:33.560 --> 1:20:35.800 calls like that on the show, and I'm always like, 1:20:36.760 --> 1:20:37.639 I feel like a lot of people. 1:20:38.080 --> 1:20:39.320 Seems like we got a lot of calls a where 1:20:39.320 --> 1:20:40.320 people shitting frequently. 1:20:40.760 --> 1:20:42.920 Saysn't everyone who takes a call in show get a 1:20:43.000 --> 1:20:45.040 bunch of calls where people shouting frequently? Isn't that what 1:20:46.040 --> 1:20:46.519 I'm just saying. 1:20:46.560 --> 1:20:49.679 It's a certain platforms. Yeah, yeah, okay, but go ahead. 1:20:49.840 --> 1:20:52.240 Well, I feel like a lot of people I get 1:20:52.320 --> 1:20:55.240 a sense from them that there's like something missing from 1:20:55.320 --> 1:20:58.800 them or some happiness factor that they are trying to 1:20:58.960 --> 1:21:01.920 use a relationship to fill. And I'm always under the 1:21:02.000 --> 1:21:04.200 I'm always of the mindset of like, you should be 1:21:04.240 --> 1:21:08.800 able to feel complete completely on your own or yeah first, yes, 1:21:09.320 --> 1:21:12.200 then go out into the into the dating market. 1:21:12.320 --> 1:21:15.439 That is true, but very few people are comfortable in 1:21:15.479 --> 1:21:18.360 their own skin, very few people can be alone. Very 1:21:18.400 --> 1:21:21.280 few people, particularly when they're young, are complete. And that's 1:21:21.360 --> 1:21:23.920 that's the process of growing up is trying to bring 1:21:24.000 --> 1:21:27.320 all the pieces together, and uh, yeah, you're right, but 1:21:27.920 --> 1:21:31.080 very few people are there. I mean, they're not calling you. 1:21:31.160 --> 1:21:34.240 Let's put it that way. Those are the ones calling. 1:21:34.520 --> 1:21:36.080 You know what, I always what I guess because a 1:21:36.120 --> 1:21:38.120 lot of you know, people tell me like, I'm pessimistic 1:21:38.200 --> 1:21:41.040 about love and relationships, but I just always see people 1:21:41.080 --> 1:21:44.200 getting like fucked because they're putting like like they need 1:21:44.320 --> 1:21:46.639 it so badly, and that's causing people to be dependent 1:21:46.720 --> 1:21:48.479 on other people instead of just being able to find it. 1:21:48.520 --> 1:21:52.080 With the correct bad boundaries, falling in love too fast, 1:21:53.080 --> 1:21:56.760 you know again, love addiction. You know, people in codependency 1:21:56.800 --> 1:22:00.280 are extremely calmon these days. And what I always tell people, 1:22:00.320 --> 1:22:02.560 if you have a certain pattern, if you have a 1:22:02.640 --> 1:22:05.439 pattern in relationships that you don't like this. This is 1:22:05.520 --> 1:22:06.880 one of my fundamental pieces of advice. 1:22:07.000 --> 1:22:07.720 Fundamentalists. 1:22:07.840 --> 1:22:10.240 Yeah, so if you keep doing something over and over 1:22:10.280 --> 1:22:13.320 again and you can't stop, even though you keep picking 1:22:13.360 --> 1:22:15.280 guys that seem total let's say it's a female, sure, 1:22:15.680 --> 1:22:18.439 picking guys that are totally different, and yet they end 1:22:18.520 --> 1:22:21.840 up the same. Yeah, you are a perfect instrument the 1:22:21.960 --> 1:22:24.920 fact that you were attracted to that person. We don't 1:22:24.920 --> 1:22:27.200 talk about where attractions come from the fact that you 1:22:27.360 --> 1:22:30.040 felt lightning bolts when you saw that person should be 1:22:30.479 --> 1:22:32.920 all you need to know that that will be the 1:22:33.040 --> 1:22:35.599 kind of person that will do the pattern again, because 1:22:35.640 --> 1:22:38.360 you are a perfect instrument. So what we always tell 1:22:38.439 --> 1:22:41.040 people is if you have those patterns and the lightning 1:22:41.080 --> 1:22:44.920 bolts end up the same every time, don't respond to 1:22:45.000 --> 1:22:47.920 the lightning bolts. Think butterflies, not lightning bolts. So you 1:22:48.000 --> 1:22:50.439 can be kind of, you know, nicely attracted, but if 1:22:50.439 --> 1:22:52.519 it's not company with that person, you know what you're 1:22:52.560 --> 1:22:54.080 in for. You're a perfect instrument. 1:22:54.439 --> 1:22:59.200 Butterflies, nothing lightning bolts. I feel like it can be 1:22:59.280 --> 1:23:02.200 hard to tell the difference. Sometimes maybe it is, and 1:23:02.360 --> 1:23:02.839 I don't. 1:23:02.680 --> 1:23:04.960 Mind a little bit of lightning. You know, it's just 1:23:05.040 --> 1:23:08.000 the you just just know that that's that pattern, and 1:23:08.240 --> 1:23:10.160 you know, you take a look that person's going to 1:23:10.200 --> 1:23:13.240 abandon you or abuse your whatever your pattern is, and 1:23:13.360 --> 1:23:15.560 see if it's somebody that you can have process with. 1:23:15.760 --> 1:23:18.439 Yeah, okay, what do you think about this someone who's like, 1:23:19.000 --> 1:23:21.960 if I'm not feeling those lightning bolts, what a someone 1:23:21.960 --> 1:23:24.800 who's like, those lightning bolts are the reason I get 1:23:24.840 --> 1:23:26.360 into relaicious If I'm not feeling those. 1:23:26.640 --> 1:23:29.559 I have to have lightning bolts. That means therapy. Yeah, 1:23:29.640 --> 1:23:32.280 that means therapy. You know, if you're somebody has good 1:23:32.280 --> 1:23:34.360 patterns in your relationships and then you can rely on 1:23:34.439 --> 1:23:37.120 your feelings and your attractions. But if you had something 1:23:37.160 --> 1:23:39.960 that twisted them, abandonment, neglect, abuse, that kind of thing 1:23:40.000 --> 1:23:42.479 in childhood, you got to get that healed. Is it 1:23:42.600 --> 1:23:45.280 always a thing relating to childhood? Oh? Yeah, that's when 1:23:45.320 --> 1:23:47.600 our brain is wired. That's so the wiring gets set up. 1:23:47.800 --> 1:23:49.800 And once it's set up, it is set up. And 1:23:49.920 --> 1:23:52.280 you have to do very very specific things to change 1:23:52.320 --> 1:23:55.800 that wiring. And I gotta go to therapy. Good, you 1:23:56.040 --> 1:23:58.519 like it, It's awesome. This is the big misconception people 1:23:58.560 --> 1:24:01.760 have you. You know again, a good therapist is you're 1:24:01.800 --> 1:24:04.479 in charge, you're conducting, you're you know, you're the one 1:24:04.520 --> 1:24:08.080 in the mirror, developing the process and changing or not 1:24:08.200 --> 1:24:11.920 changing as you wish. And whatever you're getting into, even 1:24:11.960 --> 1:24:14.280 if it's painful material, they will only let you go 1:24:14.680 --> 1:24:19.559 in tolerable doses. Yes, So it's not overwhelming or shattering, 1:24:19.640 --> 1:24:21.880 it's just just what you can tolerate. Just slowly get 1:24:21.880 --> 1:24:28.519 into it. So what your deep in thought, deep in thought, 1:24:28.760 --> 1:24:29.639 Gecko thought. 1:24:29.640 --> 1:24:31.880 Oh, definitely, deep in, deep in, deep in Gecko thought, 1:24:31.920 --> 1:24:34.040 do you do you feel you know, I asked you 1:24:34.120 --> 1:24:35.599 at the beginning of this, But now that you've sort 1:24:35.640 --> 1:24:38.400 of been sitting here for an hour and twenty minutes, 1:24:38.439 --> 1:24:40.200 do you feel any different as a gecko? 1:24:40.920 --> 1:24:41.160 Okay? 1:24:41.160 --> 1:24:45.000 These feelings that we started with humiliation. 1:24:44.920 --> 1:24:46.280 And oh the humiliation went away. 1:24:46.360 --> 1:24:48.080 Okay, cool, you're feeling like this went away. 1:24:49.160 --> 1:24:51.479 But I have been humiliated, so it's all done, so 1:24:51.640 --> 1:24:54.400 I have to worry about being further humiliated, which is nice. 1:24:55.720 --> 1:24:59.000 The the pajama quality is almost overwhelming. Oh yeah, I 1:24:59.640 --> 1:25:03.880 want to myself. Oh yeah, the music, that's that's the 1:25:03.960 --> 1:25:06.320 part that's troubling me. I'm yawning occasion, I'm thinking, what 1:25:06.360 --> 1:25:10.519 the hell? What am I doing anything else about this? Yeah? 1:25:10.680 --> 1:25:12.439 Like I said, I feel like I should be uh, 1:25:12.800 --> 1:25:14.800 you know a couple of flies that might be nice 1:25:14.840 --> 1:25:17.439 right now. And I've learned all about how to express 1:25:17.520 --> 1:25:19.640 myself sexually as a great gecko, and this is this 1:25:19.800 --> 1:25:20.839 is improvement. 1:25:20.920 --> 1:25:24.080 You eating crickets before I have actually have, would. 1:25:23.840 --> 1:25:27.320 You think uh too, garl cave for me, Yeah, I'd 1:25:27.439 --> 1:25:31.920 rather have some fresh cricket. I think especially now, Now, 1:25:32.000 --> 1:25:34.400 did the gecko tongue stick the way the gecko feet do? 1:25:35.280 --> 1:25:35.400 Uh? 1:25:35.960 --> 1:25:38.560 These big platform. 1:25:38.240 --> 1:25:40.000 Yeah, there's like the way it works that there's there's 1:25:40.000 --> 1:25:43.160 a little sticky hairs on this. Yeah, I think I 1:25:44.040 --> 1:25:45.280 I used to know the word for I think it's 1:25:45.280 --> 1:25:49.880 called it starts with a sealy celia celia. Yeah, on 1:25:50.040 --> 1:25:52.160 all I'm pretty sure they're on all parts. But I'm 1:25:52.160 --> 1:25:53.080 pretty sure they're on the feet. 1:25:53.160 --> 1:25:56.759 Sure the tongue do I will stick to stuff? 1:25:56.840 --> 1:25:56.960 Oh? 1:25:57.040 --> 1:25:59.280 Yeah, yeah, it's a tongue sticky too. I'm sticky. 1:25:59.320 --> 1:26:01.479 It's I know what I can do. It extends pretty far. 1:26:01.760 --> 1:26:02.280 Yeah. Good. 1:26:02.600 --> 1:26:04.639 I mean that's why people confuse me for a frog 1:26:04.640 --> 1:26:06.120 all the time, because geckos and frogs they do have 1:26:06.240 --> 1:26:07.120 very similar. 1:26:07.880 --> 1:26:09.160 You're just leaner and longer. 1:26:09.600 --> 1:26:12.200 Yes, yeah, And hopefully nobody googles any of this and 1:26:12.280 --> 1:26:14.320 realizes that I'm completely have no idea what. 1:26:14.320 --> 1:26:24.080 I'm talking about. Okay, good times, dow. 1:26:26.439 --> 1:26:26.639 Yes. 1:26:28.280 --> 1:26:31.519 Now it says here that on love Line ten years ago, 1:26:31.680 --> 1:26:35.560 you said the words big fat cock, and you like 1:26:35.640 --> 1:26:36.560 to apologize to you. 1:26:36.760 --> 1:26:38.320 I actually said big fucking cock? 1:26:38.640 --> 1:26:40.839 Oh okay, was that a and you have to apologize 1:26:40.880 --> 1:26:41.280 to who. 1:26:43.120 --> 1:26:45.599 I want to apologize to you, Doctor Drew. I've been 1:26:45.680 --> 1:26:49.720 carrying this burden for over a decade and and it 1:26:49.920 --> 1:26:53.000 hurts me every time I listen to you on Doctor 1:26:53.080 --> 1:26:53.920 Drew after Dark. 1:26:54.160 --> 1:26:56.880 Oh, and I want to move on with my life. 1:26:56.960 --> 1:27:00.839 And and uh, I'm so glad I get to finally. 1:27:00.960 --> 1:27:04.840 Okay, Now, I accept your apology wholeheartedly, and I appreciate 1:27:04.920 --> 1:27:07.280 the manner in which it is offered, and I forgive 1:27:07.360 --> 1:27:10.160 you completely. And I assure you that there were no 1:27:10.360 --> 1:27:15.720 consequences for me in the big cock comment. Uh, And 1:27:15.840 --> 1:27:18.439 so I want you to not not feel guilty. We're 1:27:18.479 --> 1:27:20.760 all good, and I appreciate the apology. 1:27:22.720 --> 1:27:24.680 Thank you, doctor Juwan. Just so you know, me and 1:27:24.760 --> 1:27:26.640 my big fat cock aer doing fantastic. 1:27:26.720 --> 1:27:30.840 Oh that is great news. That is great. It's amazing news. Congratulations, 1:27:30.920 --> 1:27:35.200 Thank you to both of you. That's right, see you Jeans. 1:27:35.720 --> 1:27:37.760 So you're learning all of our Oh yeah, I feel 1:27:37.760 --> 1:27:38.320 like I'm getting in. 1:27:39.920 --> 1:27:45.160 Sort of a looha. It's all greetings and farewells. You 1:27:45.240 --> 1:27:46.560 better believe I'll be coming up in me is a 1:27:46.600 --> 1:27:49.519 good one, and touch my camera through the fence. You'll 1:27:49.560 --> 1:27:50.760 hear that in a minute, No doubt. You have a 1:27:50.840 --> 1:27:54.559 lot of Lore to you and Lore, yes, Lore, because 1:27:55.479 --> 1:27:57.519 this is all of your mom's house. Lore being law 1:27:57.720 --> 1:28:00.639 in my career overall, I would say, so, okay, tell 1:28:00.680 --> 1:28:03.040 me how well I mean, this is all your mom's house. 1:28:03.160 --> 1:28:04.640 This is all your mom's house stuff, this is this 1:28:04.760 --> 1:28:12.920 is all current hip now podcast stuff in these So 1:28:13.040 --> 1:28:16.720 it's it's tried it out, tried out. Uh, it's uh, 1:28:16.800 --> 1:28:18.920 touched my cameras through the fence. It's you better. Billie 1:28:18.960 --> 1:28:21.320 will be coming up in May. It's aii you'll hear, 1:28:21.479 --> 1:28:22.160 you'll hear more of it. 1:28:22.320 --> 1:28:24.120 How often are people coming up to be like I 1:28:24.200 --> 1:28:26.000 called you on the phone twenty years ago? 1:28:26.200 --> 1:28:30.000 Rare? Right, rare? Because most people, you know, they're really 1:28:30.080 --> 1:28:33.360 adults now they're they're not thinking about that. Yeah, so 1:28:33.840 --> 1:28:35.960 they probably call when they were twenty two. You'll get it. 1:28:36.320 --> 1:28:39.360 It's the same for you when you were dusted up 1:28:39.360 --> 1:28:42.240 as a gecko ten years ago. Yeah, I'm wondering a little. 1:28:42.439 --> 1:28:44.280 Will people, you know, they'll tell you and they're in 1:28:44.320 --> 1:28:47.040 their thirties be like, hey, you know I called you 1:28:47.320 --> 1:28:49.040 and you told me something and now I'm fucked up 1:28:49.040 --> 1:28:49.680 and I'm blaming you. 1:28:49.800 --> 1:28:51.320 They won't tell you that. They don't think they'll tell 1:28:51.320 --> 1:28:54.120 you that, but they'll tell you that. I called, So 1:28:54.760 --> 1:28:55.799 let's talk to Kathy. 1:28:59.680 --> 1:29:03.240 Hello, Kathy, Hi. 1:29:03.400 --> 1:29:06.320 Hi, Kathy, Hi. 1:29:06.560 --> 1:29:07.479 How are you good? 1:29:07.520 --> 1:29:08.439 What's happening to good? 1:29:08.479 --> 1:29:09.639 How can I get you this evening? 1:29:13.120 --> 1:29:17.120 So I called and then I got a message from 1:29:17.160 --> 1:29:22.519 my partner that you have a sexual sexual vibe that 1:29:22.640 --> 1:29:23.679 sounds it sounds awful. 1:29:23.680 --> 1:29:24.600 I don't know how to phrase it. 1:29:24.640 --> 1:29:25.360 I'm so sorry. 1:29:26.600 --> 1:29:29.720 No apology apology needed, Just spill it out there. 1:29:31.479 --> 1:29:32.000 What's going on? 1:29:32.400 --> 1:29:32.439 So? 1:29:34.000 --> 1:29:38.599 So I'm thirty two, the thirty three in August. So yeah, 1:29:38.880 --> 1:29:43.160 so number one, Uh, I feel like a sex drive 1:29:43.640 --> 1:29:46.439 not as as strong as I'd like it to be. 1:29:49.160 --> 1:29:52.560 And I mostly blame the Zoloft that I'm on on 1:29:52.880 --> 1:29:53.840 Gonne what what. 1:29:54.000 --> 1:29:54.840 What do you want? Wait? What? 1:29:56.280 --> 1:29:56.400 Oh? 1:29:56.479 --> 1:29:58.560 Yeah, well that'll do it. That, that will do it. 1:29:58.680 --> 1:30:02.640 That will shut you down. And uh, it's it's a 1:30:02.800 --> 1:30:06.360 serious thing and it just can destroy relationships. And doctors 1:30:06.400 --> 1:30:09.280 don't talk enough to their patients about this. No, it 1:30:09.360 --> 1:30:14.200 can affect any The SSRI class of antidepressants can affect 1:30:14.320 --> 1:30:19.479 any stage of the sexual cycle, from arousal to erection, 1:30:19.680 --> 1:30:24.240 to lubrication to pain with intercourse to orgasm. Every piece 1:30:24.280 --> 1:30:28.040 can be affected, and you should. You should be able 1:30:28.080 --> 1:30:30.240 to get on something that doesn't do that so much. 1:30:30.320 --> 1:30:32.519 You got to talk. And if your doctor doesn't know 1:30:32.680 --> 1:30:35.599 the field enough, like he's not a psychiatrist, go see 1:30:35.640 --> 1:30:39.200 a specialist and say, look, my depression is bad, but 1:30:39.280 --> 1:30:41.600 I don't want to ruin my relationships, you know, to 1:30:41.880 --> 1:30:45.280 to help my depression. You shouldn't have all right, all 1:30:45.320 --> 1:30:48.040 right or whatever. You shouldn't have to do that. There's millions, 1:30:48.120 --> 1:30:50.600 there's ten different ways you could you could address that, 1:30:50.680 --> 1:30:52.880 and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You shouldn't feel 1:30:52.880 --> 1:30:55.200 bad about it. I feel bad when my peers do 1:30:55.280 --> 1:30:58.080 this to people. I've seen marriages destroyed by this and 1:30:58.120 --> 1:31:00.960 went and be oftentimes because the doctrine never even told 1:31:01.040 --> 1:31:04.320 them that this was going to happen. It's very common 1:31:05.120 --> 1:31:08.320 and so by all means, by all means, talk to 1:31:08.400 --> 1:31:10.880 somebody about it. And you shouldn't feel bad about it. 1:31:10.880 --> 1:31:15.759 And I hope your boyfriend, boyfriend, your boyfriend girlfriend girlfriend. 1:31:15.920 --> 1:31:17.759 I actually I have a little bit of a unique situation. 1:31:17.840 --> 1:31:18.120 Who I was. 1:31:18.439 --> 1:31:20.160 I was going to ask you some advice about that too. 1:31:21.280 --> 1:31:22.280 Girlfriend girlfriend? 1:31:22.320 --> 1:31:24.240 So is she pressuring you at all, ars anything or 1:31:25.000 --> 1:31:30.320 make you feel bad about it. Okay, good, that's good. 1:31:30.400 --> 1:31:32.720 So that's good. So so she's you know, with you 1:31:32.840 --> 1:31:34.479 on this. And but even I'm sure she'd love to 1:31:34.520 --> 1:31:36.160 see you a little more too. So good. I mean, 1:31:36.960 --> 1:31:39.479 and if and if your anxiety or your psychiatric issue 1:31:39.560 --> 1:31:42.400 is so profound that you don't want to risk it, still, 1:31:42.560 --> 1:31:48.040 that should be discussed explicitly with your with the prescribing doctors. Okay, okay, 1:31:48.560 --> 1:31:50.720 good for you, Good for you. What about this? You 1:31:50.760 --> 1:31:52.400 said there was some other weird thing going on, something 1:31:52.400 --> 1:31:57.840 else going on. I don't mean weird. I listen, I 1:31:57.920 --> 1:32:00.280 don't apologize, and I mean weird, some some thing else 1:32:00.360 --> 1:32:00.600 going on. 1:32:02.160 --> 1:32:02.800 O's fine. 1:32:04.040 --> 1:32:07.360 So my girlfriend is a transfomer who is not seeking 1:32:07.520 --> 1:32:11.960 bottom surgery, and uh, I'm obviously. 1:32:11.800 --> 1:32:13.800 Totally fine with that. We vibe. 1:32:13.920 --> 1:32:16.960 You know, she gives me the business, I give her 1:32:17.040 --> 1:32:20.400 the business. It's a grand old time not to be 1:32:20.520 --> 1:32:25.479 too boulder. My My question is, so I work, and 1:32:25.880 --> 1:32:28.479 I have a pretty physical job. I come home, I'm 1:32:28.520 --> 1:32:30.280 so I'm hired. I don't want to make it's someway 1:32:30.280 --> 1:32:35.800 that work construction, but you know, I'm yea and and 1:32:36.560 --> 1:32:39.320 you know he can sometime working up the energy. 1:32:40.120 --> 1:32:45.040 Uh two, you know, no, I get it, but you're 1:32:45.040 --> 1:32:47.880 getting but you're getting what's her name, sorry, Kathy, Kathy. 1:32:47.880 --> 1:32:50.120 You're getting a double whammy though. I mean, you're getting 1:32:50.160 --> 1:32:53.439 the low libidos. You don't have the motivation to step 1:32:53.560 --> 1:32:55.799 up and you know, try to push past the fatigue, 1:32:56.040 --> 1:32:58.400 and you've got the fatigue, which is real, it's real. 1:32:58.880 --> 1:33:00.960 I mean, you're entitled, hired at the end of the day, 1:33:01.439 --> 1:33:05.040 so I but when things go like this, it's the 1:33:05.120 --> 1:33:07.280 medicine more than anything, it really is. And that it's 1:33:07.320 --> 1:33:10.479 so sad to me that when people lose that they 1:33:10.600 --> 1:33:12.800 lose a certain kind of connection with their partner. That 1:33:14.320 --> 1:33:16.080 it can be, it can be. It's I don't know, 1:33:16.280 --> 1:33:19.160 I don't like it when that happens. You're losing an 1:33:19.240 --> 1:33:25.439 important piece, or at least you're reducing. Go ahead, go ahead. 1:33:26.200 --> 1:33:28.360 So you're saying that if I talk to my doctor 1:33:28.400 --> 1:33:32.680 and get my SSR right, which the fatigue from work 1:33:32.760 --> 1:33:34.719 won't be No, I'm. 1:33:34.600 --> 1:33:36.800 Not saying I'm not. I'm not really. Yeah, it's that's 1:33:36.840 --> 1:33:39.839 it's what I'm saying. I'm saying, you'll still have the fatigue, 1:33:39.920 --> 1:33:43.240 but you'll if you're if you're if you have libido, 1:33:43.720 --> 1:33:45.640 You'll find ways around it. You'll figure that out, right, 1:33:45.720 --> 1:33:51.280 I mean you figure it out when you're yes, yes, 1:33:52.000 --> 1:33:55.600 but but I'm glad your partner is is giving you 1:33:55.680 --> 1:33:57.519 what do you say, giving each other the business? But 1:33:58.479 --> 1:34:02.320 like that, I like that each other the business. Congratulations. 1:34:02.400 --> 1:34:04.040 It sounds like like a cool relationship. 1:34:04.160 --> 1:34:08.479 And yeah, it's beautiful. I love her very much. 1:34:08.560 --> 1:34:09.799 Good, that's awesome. 1:34:10.439 --> 1:34:13.960 They found someone that I have. You been searching for 1:34:14.040 --> 1:34:14.679 a long time. 1:34:14.840 --> 1:34:16.880 The difference by the way between people are like, I 1:34:16.920 --> 1:34:18.479 don't know, I don't know, I don't know. It's like, no, no, 1:34:18.560 --> 1:34:19.759 I'm good, right exactly. 1:34:19.800 --> 1:34:21.559 You know, going back into what we were just talking about, 1:34:21.560 --> 1:34:24.200 it seems like you guys, there's there's no questions being 1:34:24.280 --> 1:34:24.720 asked here. 1:34:25.080 --> 1:34:27.200 They're just good and that's that's what you're looking for. 1:34:29.160 --> 1:34:30.960 Yeah, no, I I I love it very much, And 1:34:31.000 --> 1:34:33.559 I have been searching for a long time. I dated 1:34:34.400 --> 1:34:39.800 a slew of losers. I had my own issues too, 1:34:39.920 --> 1:34:44.200 but I picked I picked a winner this time and 1:34:44.360 --> 1:34:47.120 thanks to her wonderful steps on and that's great. 1:34:47.200 --> 1:34:49.400 Takes what it takes, takes what it takes. Like my 1:34:49.600 --> 1:34:51.200 my wife always says, you gotta kiss a lot of 1:34:51.280 --> 1:34:52.760 frogs or get goes in our case. 1:34:53.400 --> 1:34:57.960 Yeah, well, thank you so much. I'm definitely going to 1:34:58.000 --> 1:34:58.519 talk to my dog. 1:34:58.640 --> 1:35:00.439 Yes, please do please do it make be sad? 1:35:00.880 --> 1:35:02.559 How long were you searching before you found your wife? 1:35:02.760 --> 1:35:02.960 Yeah? 1:35:03.120 --> 1:35:06.920 I was twenty four when we connected, twenty four, but 1:35:07.000 --> 1:35:08.920 then we were on and off for seven years. Got 1:35:08.960 --> 1:35:09.880 married in thirty one. 1:35:10.280 --> 1:35:12.439 Okay, so when you say on and off, what was 1:35:12.840 --> 1:35:13.800 what was the on and off? 1:35:14.000 --> 1:35:17.960 Theah off was we were in our twenties and we 1:35:18.040 --> 1:35:19.960 were living in different cities, and we were I was 1:35:20.000 --> 1:35:22.040 an idiot and wasn't ready and that kind of stuff. 1:35:22.720 --> 1:35:24.280 So I blame myself more than anything. 1:35:25.040 --> 1:35:27.200 Was there any of that going on? You know what 1:35:27.280 --> 1:35:29.679 we told that previous caller of like, you know, if 1:35:29.760 --> 1:35:31.960 they want to be with you, they will, If they won't, 1:35:32.000 --> 1:35:32.360 they won't. 1:35:32.520 --> 1:35:34.280 Yeah, it was a little different. It was a little different. 1:35:34.479 --> 1:35:35.840 It was I really wanted to be with her, but 1:35:35.880 --> 1:35:38.000 I really didn't want to get married, and she really 1:35:38.080 --> 1:35:40.000 did want to get married, and I just I just 1:35:40.080 --> 1:35:41.800 knew I wasn't ready. I just wasn't ready. I was 1:35:41.880 --> 1:35:44.679 I barely had my head on my shoulders. I couldn't 1:35:44.680 --> 1:35:46.400 have done it. And I would have screwed things up. 1:35:46.439 --> 1:35:49.000 I'm sure had we tried. Well, a lot of men 1:35:49.040 --> 1:35:51.160 will feel feel that they feel like I need to 1:35:51.200 --> 1:35:53.519 be at a certain place to be ready, of course, 1:35:53.640 --> 1:35:55.400 or else I just well, not everyone feels that way. 1:35:55.400 --> 1:35:57.600 Some people were just ready to go. But some of 1:35:57.680 --> 1:36:01.400 us are just like, I gotta understand and what I'm doing, 1:36:01.479 --> 1:36:03.479 who I am, what my career I just had. I 1:36:03.520 --> 1:36:06.160 couldn't have done it. I couldn't. I just became anathema 1:36:06.240 --> 1:36:08.200 to me. And when I was ready, I was ready. 1:36:08.320 --> 1:36:09.360 How did you know that you were ready? 1:36:10.439 --> 1:36:12.920 I didn't really. She came back into my life and 1:36:13.040 --> 1:36:16.559 it felt totally different, and she started pushing the issue again. 1:36:16.640 --> 1:36:19.320 I was like, ah, I definitely want to be with you. 1:36:19.880 --> 1:36:22.200 I mean, there's really something here and it has just 1:36:22.439 --> 1:36:26.560 expanded since then. And and you know, the really, I 1:36:26.640 --> 1:36:29.559 always tell people the asset test is on your wedding 1:36:29.640 --> 1:36:31.840 day walking to the altar, and at the altar. 1:36:32.560 --> 1:36:34.360 You feel like you don't know until. 1:36:34.400 --> 1:36:37.800 Well, you'll have a very vivid experience. I predict if 1:36:37.840 --> 1:36:40.000 you really want to be there, but if I really 1:36:40.040 --> 1:36:41.400 don't want to be If you really don't want to 1:36:41.400 --> 1:36:43.240 be there, you'll have cold feet yeah, you'll start thinking 1:36:43.280 --> 1:36:44.519 what am I doing? Why am I doing this? I 1:36:44.560 --> 1:36:47.639 should run away? People have those thoughts. Every time I've 1:36:47.640 --> 1:36:50.400 heard somebody talk about that, it doesn't go well for me. 1:36:51.120 --> 1:36:54.640 I felt more like, oh my god, this is exactly 1:36:54.760 --> 1:36:58.439 what I want to be. Screw anybody who told me 1:36:58.640 --> 1:37:01.120 had doubts or what I should or shouldn't do this, 1:37:01.960 --> 1:37:04.400 screw all and just oh my god, I was so 1:37:04.560 --> 1:37:08.640 angry at everybody who was, you know, and I was 1:37:08.720 --> 1:37:12.080 so It's such clarity, such clarity and intensity too, like 1:37:12.160 --> 1:37:13.840 I want to be here, this is what I want 1:37:13.840 --> 1:37:14.160 to be doing. 1:37:14.320 --> 1:37:16.320 And do you feel like anything less than I feel 1:37:16.320 --> 1:37:18.479 like I would agree with that. Where anything less than that. 1:37:19.320 --> 1:37:21.479 I feel bad for you if it's less If you 1:37:21.560 --> 1:37:25.040 have cold feet want to run, do so because it 1:37:25.120 --> 1:37:26.120 will have consequence. 1:37:26.960 --> 1:37:32.160 Have you seen in your experience lots of the times 1:37:32.200 --> 1:37:34.960 where like that'll just just drag out for a very 1:37:35.240 --> 1:37:38.280 very long time. People who should not be together. 1:37:38.360 --> 1:37:41.759 Oh yeah, yeah, especially when they have these big, expensive 1:37:42.000 --> 1:37:44.080 marriages and the weddings and they want to you know, 1:37:44.320 --> 1:37:46.080 oh my family will kill me and blah blah blah. 1:37:46.280 --> 1:37:46.439 Yeah. 1:37:46.520 --> 1:37:46.680 Yeah. 1:37:46.920 --> 1:37:48.320 Do you what do you think of the primary reasons 1:37:48.360 --> 1:37:51.880 for that these like you know, social shame or anything like. 1:37:51.880 --> 1:37:54.000 That, why they stick with it? Yeah, well they they're 1:37:54.120 --> 1:37:56.920 doing well. There's a million reasons, but but a common 1:37:57.000 --> 1:38:01.400 one is they're doing their marrying somebody that they think 1:38:01.400 --> 1:38:04.320 they're supposed to marry. Sure, that kind of thing. Sure, 1:38:05.080 --> 1:38:08.160 And it's one thing that your scripts match, like your 1:38:08.439 --> 1:38:10.920 your life. You have similar life courses, you come from 1:38:10.960 --> 1:38:13.240 similar systems. You understand things the same way. You have 1:38:13.280 --> 1:38:18.160 the same goals, same everything that's different than this guy 1:38:18.360 --> 1:38:21.320 or this gal fits a you know, checks a bunch 1:38:21.320 --> 1:38:23.600 of boxes, which people do a lot of that. They 1:38:23.680 --> 1:38:25.760 do a lot of that weddings and and then the 1:38:25.800 --> 1:38:28.360 families get excited about that if a lot of boxes 1:38:28.400 --> 1:38:29.680 are checked and they put on. 1:38:29.760 --> 1:38:31.880 Big Now they're dealing with pressure from the mom and 1:38:31.960 --> 1:38:34.760 the dad of like you can now our families are 1:38:34.800 --> 1:38:35.960 all married, and you spend a. 1:38:35.960 --> 1:38:40.559 Million dollars and too many beautiful weddings and shitty marriages. 1:38:41.439 --> 1:38:43.719 The marriage is what's supposed to be nice, not the wedding. 1:38:44.960 --> 1:38:46.320 Yeah, I mean the fact that people will like go 1:38:46.400 --> 1:38:47.840 into debt to fund a weddings. 1:38:48.680 --> 1:38:54.000 The same beautiful weddings do not predict beautiful marriages. It 1:38:54.080 --> 1:38:56.160 is probably almost an inverse relationship. 1:38:56.720 --> 1:38:58.640 I mean it comes from like people just wanting to 1:38:59.240 --> 1:39:01.840 be approved, approval from other people over whatever it is. 1:39:02.920 --> 1:39:06.200 Yeah, I guess, yeah, I guess I feel bad for 1:39:06.200 --> 1:39:06.640 people like that. 1:39:09.520 --> 1:39:20.919 Let's see here. Oh, this one's interesting. 1:39:21.160 --> 1:39:23.800 Oh boy, it's the first one you reacted to like that. 1:39:24.000 --> 1:39:31.160 I'm ready, Anna, Hi, how you doing? They called you interesting? 1:39:31.439 --> 1:39:31.960 What's going on? 1:39:34.800 --> 1:39:37.680 Doing good? And since you suspect your cousin has a 1:39:37.880 --> 1:39:40.559 video game addiction and that it might be causing him 1:39:40.600 --> 1:39:41.840 to get violent with his mom? 1:39:42.240 --> 1:39:42.639 Uh oh. 1:39:44.520 --> 1:39:47.479 Yeah, he's really little, he's like twelve and he's thirteen now, 1:39:48.720 --> 1:39:51.280 but he's just really violent when like my mom tries 1:39:51.320 --> 1:39:54.559 to make him turn off the game and nothing seems 1:39:54.600 --> 1:39:58.160 to work. And I'm kind of curious, like short of 1:39:58.280 --> 1:39:59.960 like calling the police on him when he gets violent, 1:40:00.120 --> 1:40:01.680 Like would you do with kids like that? 1:40:03.000 --> 1:40:05.920 That is a mental health problem. That is not that 1:40:06.080 --> 1:40:08.479 is not a parenting problem. That is a mental health problem, 1:40:08.920 --> 1:40:14.120 and that kid needs to be evaluated right oftentimes behind 1:40:14.400 --> 1:40:19.200 video game compulsion is a serious mental illness. And I'm 1:40:19.240 --> 1:40:20.920 not saying always there and there can be video game 1:40:20.960 --> 1:40:22.840 addictions and there can be compulsions and people could just 1:40:22.920 --> 1:40:25.280 use them excessively and people could become professional video game 1:40:26.040 --> 1:40:29.800 you know, sort of competitors. I understand that. But if 1:40:29.920 --> 1:40:34.759 you're not functioning, if you're disrupting relationships, if you're violent, 1:40:35.560 --> 1:40:40.679 this is time for mental health professional for sure. For sure. Okay, 1:40:41.439 --> 1:40:43.599 here's that. You really can't do anything toil you figure 1:40:43.600 --> 1:40:44.479 out what's going on here. 1:40:46.960 --> 1:40:49.640 Yeah, he's on like some weight lists to get evaluated. 1:40:49.760 --> 1:40:51.800 But like in the meantime, I just wonder, like, what 1:40:51.960 --> 1:40:54.559 can she do if he's getting physically violent with her? 1:40:55.520 --> 1:40:57.839 I would have a low threshold for calling law enforcement 1:40:57.920 --> 1:41:01.280 if he really is. I mean, you have to do that. 1:41:01.880 --> 1:41:04.479 He's he can't. You can't. Look, there are consequences of 1:41:04.560 --> 1:41:06.800 behavior you don't get just just to do that. And 1:41:06.960 --> 1:41:08.800 just because it's thirteen doesn't it doesn't matter. 1:41:09.000 --> 1:41:09.360 You have to. 1:41:09.720 --> 1:41:12.639 You have to bring the axe down sometimes when people 1:41:12.720 --> 1:41:14.680 behave in ways that are dangerous, you just have to. 1:41:14.840 --> 1:41:16.760 He just can't do that. You're not allowed to behave 1:41:16.880 --> 1:41:19.880 like that and somebody could really get hurt, him or 1:41:20.080 --> 1:41:22.719 your mom. And this it's not it's no fooling. 1:41:23.920 --> 1:41:24.759 Hey, what's he playing? 1:41:25.320 --> 1:41:25.439 Right? 1:41:27.280 --> 1:41:27.400 Oh? 1:41:27.520 --> 1:41:28.320 God, I don't even know. 1:41:29.880 --> 1:41:32.280 Is it a violent thing. Is it Sonic the Hedgehog? 1:41:32.520 --> 1:41:38.519 Is it Fortnite League? I think it's a Minecraft Minecraft. Okay, 1:41:38.560 --> 1:41:40.840 then it's probably not the video games that are giving 1:41:40.880 --> 1:41:44.560 the violence the violent tendencies, unless if he's trying to 1:41:44.880 --> 1:41:45.919 hurt over then axe. 1:41:46.040 --> 1:41:51.800 No, no, no, something's up, something is up and needs 1:41:51.960 --> 1:41:56.320 needs help. And again, just make sure your parents understand 1:41:56.320 --> 1:41:59.599 it's not a parenting problem. There's something else going on. Okay. 1:42:01.760 --> 1:42:03.240 And when they go to a pessis I don't he's 1:42:03.240 --> 1:42:06.200 on a wait list somewhere like like all therapists know 1:42:06.320 --> 1:42:07.360 how to handle stuff. 1:42:07.120 --> 1:42:10.080 Like that, Like what kind of services? Yeah? Yeah, I 1:42:10.160 --> 1:42:12.800 mean again, it's it's not just the video game, it's 1:42:12.840 --> 1:42:15.360 what is going on underneath there that that needs to 1:42:15.360 --> 1:42:17.040 be valued. Is he's going to see a psychiatrist. 1:42:19.160 --> 1:42:20.519 I think he's going to like he's gonna go to 1:42:20.600 --> 1:42:22.120 a clinic with like the whole team. 1:42:22.720 --> 1:42:28.840 A team clinic. Good. That's fine, that's fine. They'll help him. 1:42:28.920 --> 1:42:31.160 They for sure. They see lots of this kind of stuff. 1:42:32.280 --> 1:42:32.680 That's good. 1:42:33.800 --> 1:42:35.519 Yeah, And you know, look, it's nice that you care. 1:42:36.400 --> 1:42:37.960 I feel like there's a tough thing where like you 1:42:38.560 --> 1:42:41.519 are sort of removed in like how much you can 1:42:41.600 --> 1:42:43.800 do about this situation. But it's very nice to hear 1:42:43.840 --> 1:42:47.519 that you care so much about your cousin to want 1:42:47.680 --> 1:42:50.280 to intervene and help with this, because this is a really, 1:42:50.520 --> 1:42:53.960 really tough problem that you could very easily just be 1:42:54.120 --> 1:42:56.720 like when he starts, yeah, just be like, I'm out. 1:42:57.280 --> 1:42:59.760 If he starts throwing a fit, or or if they 1:43:00.040 --> 1:43:01.559 all the police, I'm getting the fuck out of here. 1:43:01.600 --> 1:43:03.800 I don't want to deal with this. But uh, you know, 1:43:04.280 --> 1:43:07.360 we can really tell that you care about your cousin 1:43:08.240 --> 1:43:11.000 by the fact that you're even questioning what it is 1:43:11.040 --> 1:43:13.160 that you can do to intervene in this situation. So, 1:43:13.439 --> 1:43:14.960 you know, I think that's very nice. 1:43:17.000 --> 1:43:18.560 And appreciate it. 1:43:18.600 --> 1:43:20.280 And it's good that the mom is is it your 1:43:20.479 --> 1:43:25.640 his mom, your aunt or your mom. It's good that 1:43:25.760 --> 1:43:31.519 she is being proactive and hang on a second, yeah, uh, 1:43:32.120 --> 1:43:36.080 And and that he that she's taken proper action. That's 1:43:36.240 --> 1:43:38.280 very very commendable because a lot of parents get into 1:43:38.360 --> 1:43:40.479 denial and don't do what they need to do. It's 1:43:40.520 --> 1:43:43.120 good that she is. My skin just came up. It's weird. 1:43:46.120 --> 1:43:47.680 There we go to it. That's the thing about the 1:43:47.960 --> 1:43:51.960 echo parts. They always go back uh Anna, good luck 1:43:51.960 --> 1:43:52.760 to you and thank you for calling. 1:43:54.280 --> 1:43:54.599 All right? 1:43:54.680 --> 1:43:54.920 Thank you? 1:43:59.080 --> 1:43:59.960 You playing a video game? 1:44:00.560 --> 1:44:01.160 Am I playing one? 1:44:01.400 --> 1:44:02.320 Do you play any video game? 1:44:02.360 --> 1:44:02.400 No? 1:44:02.520 --> 1:44:03.160 I really don't. 1:44:03.280 --> 1:44:05.280 You never really played video my sons did? 1:44:05.360 --> 1:44:06.840 I picked it up a couple of times, just I 1:44:06.920 --> 1:44:10.080 can't even do it literally, and I thought probably best not. 1:44:10.160 --> 1:44:14.920 Even like something simple like a fucking candy crush you 1:44:15.160 --> 1:44:18.880 sku No, but you gotta do something to what do you? 1:44:18.920 --> 1:44:20.120 What do you do when you're trying to turn off 1:44:20.120 --> 1:44:20.519 your brain? 1:44:21.479 --> 1:44:21.599 Uh? 1:44:22.439 --> 1:44:25.920 I work out and listen to podcasts. Okay, yeah, that's 1:44:25.960 --> 1:44:26.879 my sort of my meditation. 1:44:27.120 --> 1:44:28.280 You listened to a lot of podcasts. 1:44:28.320 --> 1:44:30.400 I do do you not after? Like if your whole 1:44:30.520 --> 1:44:33.920 job is radio and podcast? Do not be like a 1:44:33.960 --> 1:44:37.320 podcast sometimes? I Lately I've been working on languages with 1:44:37.640 --> 1:44:40.960 YouTube teachers and things. Okay, what are you learning French? French? 1:44:41.240 --> 1:44:42.800 I actually I learned Greek for a minute. 1:44:43.000 --> 1:44:43.280 Greek. 1:44:43.360 --> 1:44:45.479 Yeah, it's a lot you can do with that, there 1:44:45.600 --> 1:44:48.160 is and it's a weird language. Yeah. We were going 1:44:48.200 --> 1:44:49.920 to Greece and so I thought, all right, it helped 1:44:49.960 --> 1:44:52.880 me with my COVID fog. It really helped. And there's 1:44:52.960 --> 1:44:55.599 one strange thing about language. When when you start a language, 1:44:55.920 --> 1:44:59.280 which I haven't done in years, you're you really pick 1:44:59.360 --> 1:45:02.400 stuff up very quickly. It feels like surprising, and then 1:45:02.840 --> 1:45:04.520 not then it's just plateaus. 1:45:04.800 --> 1:45:07.080 No, but it's like, uh, there's that the what is 1:45:07.160 --> 1:45:10.360 it the pi ratio principle of the twenty where it's like, 1:45:10.479 --> 1:45:13.839 there's you really only need to know so many words, 1:45:14.040 --> 1:45:15.599 yeah to get around yeah. 1:45:15.880 --> 1:45:18.639 Yeah. And and I was telling people that my Greek 1:45:18.720 --> 1:45:20.720 was sort of a parlor game, yeah, because I only 1:45:20.800 --> 1:45:23.479 learned I we you know, and I didn't endo any 1:45:23.520 --> 1:45:28.120 other congregation conjugations and uh, and just learned words about 1:45:28.160 --> 1:45:30.840 food and things like that, things at hotels, and it 1:45:30.960 --> 1:45:31.479 was pretty good. 1:45:32.280 --> 1:45:34.880 So I mean I learned, uh, And I went to 1:45:35.040 --> 1:45:38.439 I studied in Italy, and I learned a pretty damn 1:45:38.479 --> 1:45:40.680 good amount of Italian in one month. And I had 1:45:40.720 --> 1:45:42.320 this epiphany where I was like, oh, it took me 1:45:42.439 --> 1:45:46.439 one month to like learn somewhat basic conversational Italian. What 1:45:46.600 --> 1:45:48.439 the fuck else could I do in one month? Like 1:45:48.520 --> 1:45:50.680 I'm always overestimating the amount of time it takes to 1:45:50.760 --> 1:45:52.440 like fucking learn to play guitars. 1:45:53.479 --> 1:45:57.439 Fantasized going back to piano and stuff. But but French. Yeah. 1:45:57.439 --> 1:45:59.880 I studied a long time, but I could never speak it. 1:46:00.040 --> 1:46:02.120 And then I was like, I'm gonna speak it, and 1:46:02.240 --> 1:46:03.240 I'm getting pretty good now. 1:46:03.880 --> 1:46:06.160 Uh do you feel like even after you take your 1:46:06.600 --> 1:46:09.280 take your are are you doing this in anticipation. 1:46:08.800 --> 1:46:11.560 For going on the trip? I did it in anticipation 1:46:11.640 --> 1:46:13.519 going on. We did go also go to France, and 1:46:13.680 --> 1:46:15.080 I just kind of stayed with it because you're staying 1:46:15.120 --> 1:46:16.720 with it. It just feels good for my brain. It 1:46:16.840 --> 1:46:17.360 just feels good. 1:46:17.560 --> 1:46:21.320 It's hard when you don't have a like reason anyway, it. 1:46:21.439 --> 1:46:24.920 Is, and I lose motivation sometimes. But but I'm it's 1:46:25.120 --> 1:46:29.240 I'm so pissed that I've got this huge vocabulary and 1:46:29.320 --> 1:46:32.640 I do understand everything that I can't just speak it. 1:46:32.760 --> 1:46:33.520 That's ridiculous. 1:46:33.520 --> 1:46:34.240 Wait where are you gonna go? 1:46:34.479 --> 1:46:34.639 Where? 1:46:34.760 --> 1:46:36.760 I don't care. I just after all these years of 1:46:36.760 --> 1:46:38.439 studying and reading French and stuff, I just like, I'm 1:46:38.439 --> 1:46:40.040 god damn it, finally I'm gonna speak it. That's all. 1:46:40.040 --> 1:46:42.040 I'm just I'm tired of this. I'm gonna speak it. 1:46:42.520 --> 1:46:43.000 You ever going on? 1:46:43.120 --> 1:46:43.400 Megal? 1:46:44.280 --> 1:46:45.680 What you know? 1:46:45.720 --> 1:46:45.760 What? 1:46:45.880 --> 1:46:46.280 Megal is? 1:46:46.479 --> 1:46:48.800 No, it's like this thing where you can like you 1:46:48.880 --> 1:46:51.519 can set it to like. Uh, it's it's this thing 1:46:51.560 --> 1:46:54.559 that like hooks you up on video chats with random strangers. 1:46:54.600 --> 1:46:55.880 A lot of the time it's used for people to 1:46:55.920 --> 1:46:57.320 jerk off, but there's a lot of people not drinking 1:46:57.880 --> 1:46:58.320 the chat. 1:46:59.360 --> 1:46:59.519 Yeah. 1:46:59.560 --> 1:47:03.240 Yeah, said it for like, uh yeah, for a French person. 1:47:03.240 --> 1:47:04.839 I did that for like Italian a little. 1:47:04.880 --> 1:47:06.640 With somebody actually talked to you. Yeah, you could get 1:47:06.640 --> 1:47:08.240 people to talk to you. Huh. 1:47:08.800 --> 1:47:10.920 You also a lot of people jacking off, but you can, 1:47:11.000 --> 1:47:12.960 if you can, if you can get past that. Okay, 1:47:13.280 --> 1:47:15.519 what's it called omegel? I mean I think they have 1:47:15.600 --> 1:47:18.360 it for Chatroulette, but Chatroulette, I mean they both have 1:47:18.360 --> 1:47:19.000 a lot of people. 1:47:18.880 --> 1:47:29.320 Just high tutor seems that sounds like a better idea. Yeah, 1:47:30.040 --> 1:47:33.559 hey Isaac, Hello, Yeah. 1:47:34.200 --> 1:47:37.479 What's up, Isaac? What's going on? How can we how 1:47:37.520 --> 1:47:40.920 can we be of how can we. 1:47:41.000 --> 1:47:41.840 Be with you? 1:47:42.000 --> 1:47:46.719 In this moment right now? I'm being. 1:47:48.320 --> 1:47:53.040 I'm I'm being horny actually, which is not good because 1:47:53.040 --> 1:47:56.200 I can't do anything about it because I injured myself 1:47:56.920 --> 1:47:57.599 playing piano. 1:47:59.520 --> 1:48:03.000 Wow, this is an interesting story. So what was the 1:48:03.120 --> 1:48:04.559 nature of the piano injury? 1:48:07.040 --> 1:48:13.040 So I'm a jazz studies major in college. My senior year, 1:48:14.120 --> 1:48:18.200 and I've been doing like this stuff, so like I 1:48:18.240 --> 1:48:22.680 couldn't play guitar for a while, and so I was 1:48:22.880 --> 1:48:26.639 just kind of thinking about, well, like what else can 1:48:26.680 --> 1:48:27.160 I do to it? 1:48:27.320 --> 1:48:27.920 For music? 1:48:28.880 --> 1:48:31.360 And piano is really good. It's very like all the 1:48:31.439 --> 1:48:37.040 notes are right in front of you. But like, yeah, 1:48:37.160 --> 1:48:40.920 you know, you use your hands so much and the 1:48:41.040 --> 1:48:43.719 body has this cool way of telling you to stop, 1:48:44.479 --> 1:48:47.920 and it just like kind of breaks down a little bit, like. 1:48:48.040 --> 1:48:50.280 Arthritis type of you don't know what the injury is. 1:48:50.320 --> 1:48:57.479 You've not been evaluated yet. No, I mean, hey, Isaac, Isaac, 1:48:57.640 --> 1:48:59.919 Isaac Yes or no? Yes or no? You saw northpeda 1:49:00.600 --> 1:49:03.880 or a specialist in hand and they gave you a 1:49:03.920 --> 1:49:04.880 diagnosis yes or no? 1:49:07.439 --> 1:49:07.639 Yes? 1:49:07.800 --> 1:49:11.040 Okay, what's the diagnosed? Hang on, no, buds, what's the diagnosis? 1:49:11.560 --> 1:49:12.440 What's the diagnosis? 1:49:13.000 --> 1:49:13.600 Diagnosed? 1:49:14.240 --> 1:49:14.519 Okay? 1:49:14.680 --> 1:49:15.800 Hold on, I have this thing here. 1:49:18.520 --> 1:49:18.800 Okay. 1:49:19.520 --> 1:49:27.920 They wrote one PCP, two physical therapy, three specialists question mark. 1:49:28.160 --> 1:49:31.439 Okay, so that's all. That's all. That's not diagnosis, that's 1:49:31.439 --> 1:49:36.400 all treatment. That's all treatment. Yeah, So what was the diagnosis? 1:49:38.680 --> 1:49:39.640 I mean to do that? 1:49:40.000 --> 1:49:42.640 Yeah, we need to see the specialist and is it 1:49:42.680 --> 1:49:49.040 in both hands? Yeah, yeah, both hands. When'd you teach 1:49:49.080 --> 1:49:49.960 them about flash lights? 1:49:49.960 --> 1:49:50.120 Sing? 1:49:51.760 --> 1:49:56.840 Have you tried? You have one that straps onto the wall? 1:49:58.439 --> 1:50:00.640 No, I said I could, I could. I just I 1:50:00.800 --> 1:50:01.960 was just kind of going with that. 1:50:02.280 --> 1:50:04.800 Okay, what's your what's your apprehension about getting a sex 1:50:04.880 --> 1:50:06.160 toy that you can strap to a wall? 1:50:08.080 --> 1:50:13.040 Well, I don't know. I guess that's a good question. 1:50:13.360 --> 1:50:15.839 Why don't I just I guess i'd have to order online? 1:50:16.160 --> 1:50:17.519 Yeah, yeah, you know. 1:50:17.720 --> 1:50:20.240 Look, Isaac, here's the thing. As I know, you feel 1:50:20.280 --> 1:50:24.240 like you're frustrated with your inability to express your horniness. 1:50:24.479 --> 1:50:26.200 But at the end of the day, if there is 1:50:26.320 --> 1:50:28.240 a will, there is a way. 1:50:28.320 --> 1:50:32.600 There is technology today, there is of advanced technologies. 1:50:32.760 --> 1:50:36.880 I feel like you haven't given enough thoughts whatever I 1:50:36.960 --> 1:50:41.400 mean to to you haven't done any solution based thinking 1:50:41.560 --> 1:50:45.280 to this problem. It sounds like and I think that you. 1:50:46.720 --> 1:50:49.880 I mean, do a quick Google search for hands free 1:50:50.000 --> 1:50:53.320 masturbation devices. You can just you don't have to do anything. 1:50:53.360 --> 1:50:58.519 You can just you're dick in it, press the remote control, 1:50:59.600 --> 1:51:02.559 It'll do all the work for you. And hey, listen, 1:51:02.640 --> 1:51:05.639 when you're hand heels you might be like, oh, I'm 1:51:05.680 --> 1:51:09.439 so glad that this whole ordeal happens hands free forever, 1:51:09.520 --> 1:51:12.120 Because now I found a great place, a great, great 1:51:12.120 --> 1:51:16.920 way to do it hands free forever. Bluetooth pocket puss. 1:51:16.840 --> 1:51:17.360 H f F. 1:51:18.680 --> 1:51:23.360 That's a good solution. But yeah, no, that's a good solution. 1:51:23.479 --> 1:51:25.680 I was thinking about going celibate too. 1:51:26.400 --> 1:51:28.320 There's all, there's a lot of value to be gained 1:51:28.360 --> 1:51:30.200 in that is not is not. 1:51:31.240 --> 1:51:34.120 You know, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? When 1:51:34.160 --> 1:51:37.439 you don't have any sexual activity and celibra means you 1:51:37.479 --> 1:51:40.000 don't you don't have activity with somebody else, doesn't it. 1:51:42.840 --> 1:51:44.799 Oh you're going you're going no fat. 1:51:44.720 --> 1:51:48.559 Yeah, nothing. I think that's what you're saying. 1:51:51.400 --> 1:51:52.880 Were you about to say? Imagine all the things you 1:51:52.880 --> 1:51:57.760 could accomplish if you didn't masturbate? Yeah, yeah, Hey you 1:51:57.800 --> 1:51:59.479 could learn French mm hmm. 1:52:00.160 --> 1:52:00.320 Fun. 1:52:00.600 --> 1:52:00.960 You're right. 1:52:01.040 --> 1:52:07.000 I've been really into German expressionism because of it, because 1:52:07.040 --> 1:52:08.200 I because when I get. 1:52:08.080 --> 1:52:11.680 Warning and then and then when you go out to 1:52:11.800 --> 1:52:14.320 the bars and you're, you know, trying to find a 1:52:14.360 --> 1:52:17.120 sexual partner, you can bring up your expertise in German 1:52:17.160 --> 1:52:21.160 expressionism as a way to seem more interesting, You get more. 1:52:21.120 --> 1:52:27.800 Uh, improve your selection. No, absolutely, okay, beautiful, thank you, okay, 1:52:28.600 --> 1:52:33.120 thank you much, Yes very much. Well you're google like like, 1:52:34.360 --> 1:52:36.880 like we said, google it hands free, hands free forever. 1:52:37.120 --> 1:52:39.880 Have you ever used one of those flesh light things? 1:52:40.040 --> 1:52:44.639 No, I actually haven't, but they look cool people should enjoy. 1:52:45.200 --> 1:52:47.280 I used to when I was what fourteen? I took 1:52:47.360 --> 1:52:52.320 a took two sponges, and I took a a like 1:52:52.439 --> 1:52:55.639 a plastic glove, put it in between the sponges. Yeah, 1:52:55.800 --> 1:52:58.479 took that little plastic glove sponge sandwich, put it into 1:52:58.479 --> 1:52:59.280 a pringles can. 1:52:59.439 --> 1:53:02.200 Oh my god, your genius look the rim of it. 1:53:02.360 --> 1:53:05.160 I'm sure that. I'm sure many young teens have had 1:53:05.200 --> 1:53:07.160 evil genius solutions like that. 1:53:07.520 --> 1:53:10.280 And then it makes a little pringles yep can yep. 1:53:10.400 --> 1:53:13.799 Good for you, Oh my god, because when. 1:53:13.640 --> 1:53:15.120 You're fourteen, you can't, you know, buy the thing. 1:53:15.360 --> 1:53:15.400 No. 1:53:15.800 --> 1:53:20.360 Look, fourteen year olds are males. They got energy. 1:53:24.400 --> 1:53:25.040 Hmmmm. 1:53:27.720 --> 1:53:30.880 Why did God do that to young men? You know 1:53:30.920 --> 1:53:31.280 what I mean? 1:53:32.640 --> 1:53:34.439 No, he's definitely a sadist, that God. 1:53:36.080 --> 1:53:38.719 You know. One of the first things that transgender patients 1:53:38.800 --> 1:53:40.639 female to male tell me is, oh my god, I'm 1:53:40.680 --> 1:53:43.280 so sorry, Like I didn't know this is what you 1:53:43.320 --> 1:53:45.760 were contending with. And my response is, yeah, that's what 1:53:45.920 --> 1:53:47.719 it feels like all the time. But imagine you're thirteen 1:53:47.800 --> 1:53:48.400 contending with that. 1:53:49.840 --> 1:53:52.880 Yeah, they're having that. That must be interesting that being 1:53:52.880 --> 1:53:57.080 able to have through your life fully been able to 1:53:57.200 --> 1:53:59.719 experience both sides. 1:53:59.760 --> 1:54:03.360 Yeah, we we should be mining that, you know, people 1:54:03.400 --> 1:54:06.400 that have those experiences more for for help people understand 1:54:06.439 --> 1:54:12.360 the differences and what people are experiencing. And yeah, hmm. 1:54:15.360 --> 1:54:18.360 Sucking Nicole Nicole. 1:54:20.240 --> 1:54:20.439 Nike. 1:54:21.200 --> 1:54:22.519 Hey, Nicole has a gun. 1:54:23.880 --> 1:54:24.880 Thanks good? 1:54:24.960 --> 1:54:29.040 How are you doing good? At what's going on with you? Nicole? 1:54:32.680 --> 1:54:37.520 Well, Jesus, there's some family drama going on. Does he 1:54:37.600 --> 1:54:38.080 want to talk? 1:54:39.960 --> 1:54:40.120 Oh? 1:54:40.240 --> 1:54:43.280 No, I just I just had the team Young Cloud 1:54:43.360 --> 1:54:48.240 with you. But so, I guess the main reason, like 1:54:48.440 --> 1:54:52.000 I was thinking tonight, was I have a lot of 1:54:52.120 --> 1:54:55.200 issues with over sharing and conversations like. 1:54:57.960 --> 1:54:59.000 How do I describe this? 1:54:59.600 --> 1:55:03.120 So I had a couple of diagnoses recently that kind 1:55:03.200 --> 1:55:06.560 of correlate with each other and makes it hard for 1:55:06.720 --> 1:55:11.200 me to like have like proper conversations in general. But 1:55:11.720 --> 1:55:14.680 I tend to realize that I overshare when I and 1:55:15.400 --> 1:55:19.600 even if I don't intentionally want to, because I'm trying 1:55:19.680 --> 1:55:25.040 to like describe how I'm feeling is shit and a 1:55:25.160 --> 1:55:30.720 situation and I don't know, it is a bad habit, And. 1:55:30.960 --> 1:55:35.000 I just wanted a little what what are the diagnoses? 1:55:37.640 --> 1:55:41.800 Uh? Okay, I have kind of a list. I have 1:55:42.040 --> 1:55:53.040 borderline personality disorder autism PTSD, agoraphobia, so anxiety and depression. 1:55:53.360 --> 1:55:55.960 Right, of course, that's all all that stuff is, you 1:55:56.000 --> 1:55:59.160 know the PTS that the trauma is the PTSD, The 1:55:59.240 --> 1:56:01.600 trauma is the border line. The anxiety goes with the borderline. 1:56:01.840 --> 1:56:05.960 But here's the thing about borderline people. Borderline disorder are 1:56:06.360 --> 1:56:09.360 I know what you're talking about. You guys are geniuses 1:56:10.080 --> 1:56:12.080 at sort of picking up on things, right, You're like 1:56:12.240 --> 1:56:16.040 like you have antenna, Like it's phenomenal. I've always I 1:56:16.080 --> 1:56:19.000 always marvel at what borderlines can can sort of know 1:56:19.440 --> 1:56:21.960 just just when you walk in a room, or they 1:56:22.080 --> 1:56:23.720 know you're walking in the room before you walk in 1:56:23.800 --> 1:56:27.040 the room. And so I understand it's a burden. I 1:56:27.080 --> 1:56:29.800 get it's a burden because you react to all that emotionally, 1:56:30.360 --> 1:56:33.200 and it's because of the trauma that your your bodies 1:56:33.280 --> 1:56:35.960 on all that hyper alert. It's a survival system that 1:56:36.040 --> 1:56:39.080 you've learned to you know, it's an adaptation. It got 1:56:39.120 --> 1:56:42.120 you to where you are now. So good, You survived great, 1:56:42.640 --> 1:56:45.520 But you have to figure you have to figure out 1:56:45.600 --> 1:56:51.080 ways to sort of dial down the borderline stuff. It 1:56:51.160 --> 1:56:53.000 can be. Some of it's, like I'm saying, some of 1:56:53.040 --> 1:56:55.800 it's an asset. You're like crazy tuned into the world. 1:56:55.960 --> 1:56:56.080 Man. 1:56:56.200 --> 1:56:59.720 You know, who's you know before somebody pulls in your 1:56:59.800 --> 1:57:03.160 dry way, who's coming? And why? And that's it's weird 1:57:03.240 --> 1:57:05.360 how I mean, it's incredible how you guys can do that. 1:57:06.000 --> 1:57:09.960 But you have to be able to regulate your emotions 1:57:10.240 --> 1:57:12.520 and understand that a lot of your stuff affects other 1:57:12.600 --> 1:57:16.560 people and so and the other people's minds have emotions too, 1:57:17.480 --> 1:57:19.120 you know, at certain times you lose track of that. 1:57:20.200 --> 1:57:23.000 And so you want to do something, Yeah, you want 1:57:23.040 --> 1:57:26.320 to do something called dialectical behavioral therapy DBT. So are 1:57:26.360 --> 1:57:30.480 you involved in DBT? Now? What what's that. 1:57:32.680 --> 1:57:33.680 I thought about? 1:57:36.160 --> 1:57:38.240 Or just controlled behavioral therapy? 1:57:38.600 --> 1:57:41.680 Both good? Both good? Both good, both good? They will 1:57:41.720 --> 1:57:44.600 you trust me, they will they will help you and 1:57:44.880 --> 1:57:47.560 all this, you know what's what you're talking about of 1:57:47.680 --> 1:57:51.000 you know, overhearing things and racting to things. It will settle, 1:57:51.240 --> 1:57:55.640 It will settle, But you gotta do. You gotta do 1:57:55.680 --> 1:57:57.880 the work. You gotta do the work you get. You 1:57:58.000 --> 1:58:00.440 have a diagnosis, the diagnosis has a treatment, and the 1:58:00.520 --> 1:58:03.880 treatments work. That's the great news. So you feel so 1:58:03.960 --> 1:58:04.760 much better. Trust me. 1:58:05.400 --> 1:58:08.640 I like this the angle of like it's it's it's 1:58:08.800 --> 1:58:10.240 you know, looking at the positive things. 1:58:10.320 --> 1:58:13.800 Yeah, yeah, but every everything in life has liabilities and assets. 1:58:14.200 --> 1:58:17.600 Everything everything I have OCD made me a great doctor. 1:58:17.600 --> 1:58:20.720 I was obsessively checking everything, responding to my page er 1:58:20.760 --> 1:58:23.600 and stuff like that. But now when my text messages 1:58:23.680 --> 1:58:26.120 go off, it's fucked. I hate it. It's the same system, 1:58:26.400 --> 1:58:31.480 same problem. And and people get very pejorative about mental 1:58:31.520 --> 1:58:34.520 health diagnoses. Oh you have Oh yeah, that because it 1:58:34.760 --> 1:58:37.879 makes you do things that are unpleasant or may be disruptive. 1:58:38.120 --> 1:58:40.440 But guess what, that all has treatment and you you 1:58:40.520 --> 1:58:41.480 just got to do the work. Though. 1:58:42.360 --> 1:58:46.560 Okay, that's very helpful in the process of like accepting 1:58:47.520 --> 1:58:49.680 about yourself being like, oh well, I can't get so 1:58:49.840 --> 1:58:52.320 upset about all the negative things that are going on 1:58:52.480 --> 1:58:55.839 with me because of this, because there's also the positive 1:58:55.920 --> 1:58:57.560 things that I am they're excited about. 1:58:57.600 --> 1:58:59.640 So many people out there with borderline disorder that are 1:58:59.680 --> 1:59:02.560 so grateful that they got their diagnosis and they got 1:59:02.600 --> 1:59:05.400 proper treatment because they didn't understand what was going on. 1:59:05.440 --> 1:59:09.200 Oh I'm so happy I did, because like when I hike, 1:59:09.520 --> 1:59:13.320 when I was in sophomore year, is when like my 1:59:13.520 --> 1:59:17.480 back started to go complete ship and my parents completely 1:59:17.600 --> 1:59:20.360 neglected it, didn't take me to the doctor and just 1:59:20.440 --> 1:59:23.800 assumed that gymnastics would just cure it and heal it. 1:59:24.080 --> 1:59:27.320 And I ended up like getting surgery after I turned 1:59:27.440 --> 1:59:29.600 eighteen because they wouldn't take me to the doctor, and 1:59:29.920 --> 1:59:30.960 my boyfriend took me. 1:59:31.440 --> 1:59:33.400 Boy and then all of. 1:59:33.480 --> 1:59:37.160 My emotions and shit just kind of left out of 1:59:37.240 --> 1:59:38.440 me and I cut everybody off. 1:59:38.520 --> 1:59:41.720 Okay, so hold slow down, you're going back. You're going 1:59:41.800 --> 1:59:44.440 back into it. I feel it starting, okay, and I 1:59:44.560 --> 1:59:47.120 get it. I heard you, I heard what happened, and 1:59:47.280 --> 1:59:50.720 but that's the stuff that needs to be damn calm down. 1:59:50.760 --> 1:59:54.040 We got to calm that stuff down, Okay. And I 1:59:54.040 --> 1:59:56.280 don't I don't even mean calm down. That sounds sort 1:59:56.320 --> 1:59:59.560 of glib. I mean we're going to process that, We're 1:59:59.560 --> 2:00:02.240 going to regulated deal with it, manage it, that kind 2:00:02.280 --> 2:00:02.920 of thing. Okay. 2:00:04.280 --> 2:00:07.240 It's like feeling of one, like you know that I 2:00:07.400 --> 2:00:08.560 have that anxiety. 2:00:11.280 --> 2:00:14.720 So okay, so let me give you another little premer so. So, 2:00:14.920 --> 2:00:17.720 one of the things that that comes with borderline personal 2:00:17.800 --> 2:00:23.000 disorder is something called projective identification. That unpleasant feelings, you 2:00:23.200 --> 2:00:27.360 put them out into other people. You inject them into people, 2:00:27.440 --> 2:00:30.240 and you work them there and you regulate them. You 2:00:30.440 --> 2:00:35.400 make other people feel things. You know what I'm saying, right, yeah, 2:00:35.640 --> 2:00:41.640 I okay with your you're I know, and you're good 2:00:41.680 --> 2:00:44.080 at it, and you're capable of it. You're starting to 2:00:44.120 --> 2:00:46.680 do it right now to us. Because I'm very sensitive 2:00:46.680 --> 2:00:49.000 to borderline stuff. I feel it when it starts, and 2:00:49.320 --> 2:00:52.280 so so you're starting to do that, and and DBT 2:00:52.720 --> 2:00:54.960 will get you to the place where you're like, oh here, 2:00:55.000 --> 2:00:57.200 I'm doing that again. There's other things I can do. 2:00:57.680 --> 2:01:00.000 It just brings it into consciousness and gives you alternative. 2:01:00.040 --> 2:01:04.480 It's okay, okay, you're gonna be good. Good for you. 2:01:04.720 --> 2:01:06.760 You're young, you're young, got lots of time. You're gonna 2:01:06.960 --> 2:01:08.760 get take care of this stuff. Thanks for calling, nic 2:01:09.920 --> 2:01:13.920 These are these are complicents. Bye bye. It was Nicole. 2:01:14.040 --> 2:01:14.680 Nicole Man. 2:01:14.760 --> 2:01:16.560 It's it's cool watching you do this because you know, 2:01:16.640 --> 2:01:20.680 when I have the way I typically handle these calls. 2:01:20.760 --> 2:01:23.400 Is I never advertised myself as like having like answers. 2:01:23.400 --> 2:01:26.280 I'll typically like them. I just want them to talk 2:01:26.360 --> 2:01:30.160 like your that's cool because you're an actual doctor, and 2:01:30.200 --> 2:01:33.000 you know, it's cool being like, oh, you know, watching 2:01:33.040 --> 2:01:34.640 you be like, oh, you're saying this, you have this, 2:01:34.800 --> 2:01:38.800 Here's the actual reason as to why you are feeling 2:01:38.880 --> 2:01:44.200 this way. Here's some some actual you know, therapies. 2:01:44.240 --> 2:01:46.280 We here's what you can do about it. Yeah, people 2:01:46.320 --> 2:01:50.120 are so fascinating the human experiences. I'm so grateful to 2:01:50.320 --> 2:01:54.640 have had the ability to sit by and and and understand, 2:01:54.720 --> 2:01:59.640 come to understand and experience and witness so much of 2:01:59.680 --> 2:02:02.080 the human experience that the average person does not get 2:02:02.160 --> 2:02:05.200 to say. Yeah, of course, whether it's opening somebody up 2:02:05.320 --> 2:02:12.879 and messing around inside with with knives and bovy, you know, clamps, 2:02:14.160 --> 2:02:17.000 or opening up in here and helping people deal with that, 2:02:17.160 --> 2:02:19.760 it's it's I'm just so grateful that experience. I just 2:02:20.320 --> 2:02:24.480 and because I it was such a profound workaholic for many, many, 2:02:24.560 --> 2:02:27.120 many a couple of decades, I had this very very 2:02:27.200 --> 2:02:30.280 rich experience. It's very rare to find physicians that have 2:02:30.360 --> 2:02:32.720 had as much in medicine and psychiatry as I have had, 2:02:33.000 --> 2:02:34.680 and I just want to give that back. I just 2:02:34.760 --> 2:02:36.600 want to give it, give it, give it as much 2:02:36.600 --> 2:02:37.600 as I possibly can do. 2:02:37.640 --> 2:02:40.400 You learn a lot about your own psychology by getting a. 2:02:42.480 --> 2:02:46.600 Kind of it's not what you think, it's more. It's more. 2:02:46.680 --> 2:02:48.520 I do a lot of therapy to make sure I 2:02:48.600 --> 2:02:53.720 could really be present fully in some very incredible situations 2:02:54.080 --> 2:02:56.560 without being overtaken by it or just regulated by it. 2:02:58.240 --> 2:03:01.320 And you start to learn really how you fit with 2:03:01.400 --> 2:03:04.040 other people and what they evoke in you, and you 2:03:04.120 --> 2:03:07.160 can you know, I've had so many bizarre experiences. Every 2:03:07.240 --> 2:03:09.120 every good therapist will tell you that they've they've been 2:03:09.160 --> 2:03:12.640 in therapy and had uncanny thoughts and heard things and 2:03:12.720 --> 2:03:16.320 smelled things that are not theirs but come from the patient. 2:03:17.440 --> 2:03:19.840 So you feel like a little bit of what the 2:03:19.880 --> 2:03:20.960 patients got going on is like. 2:03:21.120 --> 2:03:23.320 It gets projected, intruding, and much the way I was 2:03:23.360 --> 2:03:26.040 talking to her about projective identification, this is a little different. 2:03:26.120 --> 2:03:28.040 This is just something that happens naturally when people are 2:03:28.160 --> 2:03:31.240 closely attuned to each other. But it's wild and uncanny. 2:03:31.600 --> 2:03:34.240 So you sort of learned what I would learn is 2:03:34.320 --> 2:03:36.440 really what's mine and what's somebody else's. 2:03:37.560 --> 2:03:39.720 Was there at a hard point in time where I 2:03:39.760 --> 2:03:42.000 mean earlier in your career where where you didn't have 2:03:42.080 --> 2:03:42.520 that clear. 2:03:42.760 --> 2:03:43.360 One hundred percent? 2:03:43.440 --> 2:03:43.600 I was. 2:03:43.680 --> 2:03:45.840 I was, and it was I was not effective because 2:03:45.840 --> 2:03:47.360 of it, and I was aware of it. I was like, 2:03:47.600 --> 2:03:50.080 oh something I'm not. I'm not. I need to change 2:03:50.120 --> 2:03:52.240 something because this is not help helpful the way I am. 2:03:52.480 --> 2:03:54.400 What I would I would get into very rescuing modes 2:03:54.440 --> 2:03:56.560 and that kind of stuff. Yeah, found to rescue and 2:03:56.680 --> 2:03:59.240 save and make better. And you don't get to do 2:03:59.320 --> 2:04:01.360 that a lot of time. You have to be present 2:04:01.680 --> 2:04:08.360 and attuned and you know deeply, uh, respond in ways 2:04:08.400 --> 2:04:12.960 that are sometimes kind of very nuanced and difficult to navigate. 2:04:13.400 --> 2:04:15.160 And you can't do that if you're overtaken by it. 2:04:15.240 --> 2:04:17.160 You're busy rescuing people, they don't they don't come for 2:04:17.240 --> 2:04:19.840 rescues because now you've now you've taken a now you 2:04:19.840 --> 2:04:21.879 have a permitent victim that needs constant rescuing. 2:04:22.240 --> 2:04:25.600 Yes, okay, So you don't come to this from a 2:04:25.720 --> 2:04:27.560 place of I need to rescue them, I need to 2:04:27.600 --> 2:04:27.880 help them. 2:04:27.920 --> 2:04:30.240 You come back some of that left over because I 2:04:30.280 --> 2:04:32.920 am a codependent, but I come from it that like 2:04:33.240 --> 2:04:34.720 I may feel that way, but I'm not going to 2:04:34.800 --> 2:04:37.080 do that. Sure, I'm not going to rescue people. I'm 2:04:37.080 --> 2:04:38.040 not going to get engaged with that. 2:04:38.120 --> 2:04:38.480 No, no, no. 2:04:38.960 --> 2:04:40.160 I mean, do you feel like that's a lot, that's 2:04:40.160 --> 2:04:43.000 a that's a heavy burden to put on yourself, you know, 2:04:43.160 --> 2:04:45.080 to always want to help people. 2:04:45.240 --> 2:04:45.280 No? 2:04:45.440 --> 2:04:47.360 No, no, no, no no. But like you know, I 2:04:47.640 --> 2:04:51.440 don't know, do you feel like it's possible to help everyone? 2:04:52.040 --> 2:04:52.080 No? 2:04:52.760 --> 2:04:55.640 And that's part of wanting to help. Yes, it's like 2:04:55.920 --> 2:04:57.640 you do what you can. Like I told you about 2:04:57.640 --> 2:04:59.520 the aimless driver. You've got a skill set, you got 2:04:59.600 --> 2:05:02.160 some experience, you do what you can't, you do what 2:05:02.240 --> 2:05:04.080 you can't. But but I, but I don't know. I'm 2:05:04.120 --> 2:05:07.720 just great. I know it's expressive, but just grateful, grateful, 2:05:07.760 --> 2:05:10.520 grateful that I can offer something and that i've and 2:05:10.880 --> 2:05:13.120 that I commune with people in a certain way where 2:05:13.120 --> 2:05:15.080 I get to see these things that are important. 2:05:15.760 --> 2:05:17.600 You know, that's wonderful. 2:05:17.640 --> 2:05:19.320 I'm not always dressed like a gecko. When I do 2:05:19.440 --> 2:05:22.320 that too, it's you may surprise you, but sometimes I 2:05:22.400 --> 2:05:22.920 am clearly. 2:05:23.400 --> 2:05:25.080 I like the well, the cool thing about having guests 2:05:25.120 --> 2:05:27.000 on and a Gecko. Is that like, you know, I 2:05:27.080 --> 2:05:30.080 feel like it. You're like a different guy knocks you 2:05:30.160 --> 2:05:31.160 down to size in a sense. 2:05:31.160 --> 2:05:33.200 It's like it's like this is like, oh look my 2:05:33.320 --> 2:05:36.960 legs are showing. It's like massd Singer. You become the 2:05:37.280 --> 2:05:39.480 become the character exactly. I'm gonna tell you that I 2:05:39.560 --> 2:05:41.760 did that show too, and that was weird. That was wild. 2:05:41.880 --> 2:05:43.400 You do become the character a little bit. 2:05:43.800 --> 2:05:45.120 Do you feel like you're becoming the character? 2:05:45.880 --> 2:05:48.080 I'm becoming a character. I'm not at the character. I 2:05:48.120 --> 2:05:50.200 need a little more time in this outfit to become 2:05:50.320 --> 2:05:50.880 the character. 2:05:52.120 --> 2:05:54.000 How are you feeling? You down to take a few more? 2:05:54.080 --> 2:05:55.680 What's your what's your brom? I don't want to keep 2:05:55.720 --> 2:05:55.960 you here for it? 2:05:56.080 --> 2:05:58.680 Oh it's late. I got to get home. You do 2:05:58.800 --> 2:05:59.640 one more more? 2:05:59.720 --> 2:06:03.760 Okay it. Let's let's see here, any any anything stepping 2:06:03.800 --> 2:06:07.400 out at you here. Let's let's look through the hanging 2:06:07.400 --> 2:06:08.200 on a second too fast. 2:06:08.360 --> 2:06:24.800 Uh oh jeez, somebody's are tough. Uh oh boy, uh 2:06:27.080 --> 2:06:31.520 my goodness. Uh oh. Let's do the sleep sex sleep 2:06:31.560 --> 2:06:42.080 sex h Hello? Sam? Hey, Hey, what's up? 2:06:42.120 --> 2:06:42.280 Sam? 2:06:42.400 --> 2:06:43.840 Cool to be the last fall at least of this. 2:06:45.480 --> 2:06:46.520 Cold, to have you those last. 2:06:47.720 --> 2:06:48.720 Thanks Sam. What's going on? 2:06:51.440 --> 2:06:54.600 Uh, nothing much, just been just been on hold for 2:06:54.680 --> 2:06:56.160 a while and anticipation. 2:06:56.680 --> 2:06:57.960 Well here we are, it's happened. 2:06:58.320 --> 2:06:59.160 Anticipate no more. 2:06:59.320 --> 2:07:02.480 The one let's go on, my tail is coming up. 2:07:02.920 --> 2:07:05.240 Just wants just something that I've wanted to talk to 2:07:05.360 --> 2:07:08.720 doctor Drew about for a while. So it's I don't 2:07:08.760 --> 2:07:15.120 know if it's technically a condition, but essentially so I 2:07:15.280 --> 2:07:19.080 I essentially have have sex in my sleep, like with 2:07:19.320 --> 2:07:23.840 with my partner. I initiate and I'll just say the 2:07:23.840 --> 2:07:30.000 word continue with sex without me completely asleep, without any 2:07:30.320 --> 2:07:30.880 knowledge of. 2:07:31.280 --> 2:07:33.920 So so you have complete just one that initiates. So 2:07:33.960 --> 2:07:36.080 hold on, do you have complete anesia? You never wake 2:07:36.200 --> 2:07:37.600 up in the middle of it or anything like that. 2:07:39.880 --> 2:07:41.920 I usually wake up in the middle of it just 2:07:41.960 --> 2:07:44.960 from like jostling or whatever. But and I have woken 2:07:45.080 --> 2:07:48.240 up to just like making out. But I've also woken 2:07:48.320 --> 2:07:50.000 up completely like in the middle of. 2:07:50.080 --> 2:07:52.800 Like okay, And how does your partner feel about this? 2:07:56.080 --> 2:07:59.880 Usually they do not realize until I wake up and 2:08:00.040 --> 2:08:01.280 I'm like, wait, what. 2:08:02.040 --> 2:08:04.720 Oh, and have you have you discussed this? What have 2:08:04.800 --> 2:08:05.760 you discussed this with them? 2:08:07.640 --> 2:08:08.920 Yeah? Yeah, yeah at length? 2:08:09.120 --> 2:08:12.640 Okay, So it's not like if somebody somebody's feeling somebody's 2:08:12.640 --> 2:08:15.280 feeling violated or raped or whatever. None of those kinds 2:08:15.320 --> 2:08:15.920 of feelings planned. 2:08:15.960 --> 2:08:17.960 Oh no, no, no, oh no, not in the slightest 2:08:18.000 --> 2:08:20.640 we have We've both discussed it at discussed it at length, 2:08:20.720 --> 2:08:23.840 and they they appear to be okay with at least 2:08:24.280 --> 2:08:26.760 we have discussed it. Okay, I personally have no problem 2:08:26.840 --> 2:08:27.000 with it. 2:08:27.120 --> 2:08:29.240 Okay, So so let's just talk about these This is 2:08:29.440 --> 2:08:32.520 this is a sleep disturbance. The way we think about 2:08:32.560 --> 2:08:35.640 it is essentially anything you do awake, you can do 2:08:35.760 --> 2:08:39.880 in your sleep. Literally anything. Uh, And this is sort 2:08:39.920 --> 2:08:42.920 of in the zone of sleep walking and sleep eating. 2:08:43.640 --> 2:08:46.360 Sleep sex is much more common than people realize. It's 2:08:46.400 --> 2:08:50.400 it's actually not at all uncommon, and it's it doesn't 2:08:50.440 --> 2:08:52.840 necessarily any treatment. Did you sleepwalk when you were a kid? 2:08:55.280 --> 2:08:58.320 I have sleptwalk my entire life. I've woken up in 2:08:58.600 --> 2:08:59.520 a variety of playing. 2:08:59.560 --> 2:09:01.120 Yeah, so this is all part of that. And and 2:09:01.280 --> 2:09:03.000 you know, you could get a sleep study and see 2:09:03.000 --> 2:09:04.960 what's happening that you know that they can kind of 2:09:05.000 --> 2:09:07.320 evaluate it, and you know, do you really want to 2:09:07.320 --> 2:09:10.240 take medication because you're having sex with your partner and 2:09:10.240 --> 2:09:12.320 they're cool with it, you're cool with it? I don't know. 2:09:12.920 --> 2:09:13.040 Uh. 2:09:13.760 --> 2:09:16.400 And and did you have night terrors growing up? 2:09:19.400 --> 2:09:24.200 Never night terrors, although oddly enough, I have very weird 2:09:24.440 --> 2:09:29.320 reoccurring dreams. Usually they're different in some respect. And this 2:09:29.520 --> 2:09:32.520 is completely off of off the topic. But there were 2:09:32.600 --> 2:09:34.280 always zombie apocalypse. 2:09:34.840 --> 2:09:36.320 Yeah, it's not off topic, And it's. 2:09:36.240 --> 2:09:38.440 Always there was something weird about doors. 2:09:38.680 --> 2:09:41.000 Yeah, And would they would you sometimes wake up with 2:09:41.080 --> 2:09:43.080 a zombie lying on top of you and you couldn't move? 2:09:45.640 --> 2:09:49.120 Uh? That never happened. Although I have had sleep paralysis. 2:09:48.640 --> 2:09:52.320 For right, So sleep paralysis goes with this too, right, 2:09:52.400 --> 2:09:55.840 And hypnogoga hallucinations are common with sleeprouses. So you guys, 2:09:55.880 --> 2:09:58.680 you kind of have the full spectrum of sleepwalking. Really 2:09:58.800 --> 2:10:00.680 is really what it all is. It's like you're you're 2:10:00.800 --> 2:10:04.080 you're sleep cycling. I don't I'm not an expert in this, 2:10:04.200 --> 2:10:07.080 but essentially you don't wake up and go to sleep 2:10:07.160 --> 2:10:09.400 and ram normally you sort of going in and out 2:10:09.440 --> 2:10:12.120 of these things sort of in in some way that's 2:10:12.160 --> 2:10:14.520 not quite you know, consistent with going all the way 2:10:14.520 --> 2:10:16.200 to sleep and waking all the way up. You're in 2:10:16.320 --> 2:10:19.280 this sort of twilight hypnagogic state when you're doing and 2:10:19.360 --> 2:10:21.800 you start doing stuff, and that some people are just 2:10:21.920 --> 2:10:24.240 that way. I mean, I wouldn't worry about it. I 2:10:24.440 --> 2:10:28.240 I you can sometimes be associated with sort of seizure phenomenon. 2:10:28.880 --> 2:10:31.400 Probably the most responsible thing for me to tell you 2:10:31.600 --> 2:10:33.200 is like, well, go get to see a sleep doctor 2:10:33.280 --> 2:10:36.880 or sleep neurologists, particularly because again I'm not you know, 2:10:38.080 --> 2:10:39.680 rarely it could be a brain tumor and things like 2:10:39.760 --> 2:10:42.000 that as well, So it's irresponsible to say just blow 2:10:42.080 --> 2:10:45.000 it off. But but but the reality is, these things 2:10:45.160 --> 2:10:48.720 you know are just you know, kind of I won't 2:10:48.720 --> 2:10:54.200 even say unpleasant. There's normal variance, right so, and especially 2:10:54.240 --> 2:10:55.960 you have a partner that's into it and you're cool 2:10:56.000 --> 2:10:57.360 with it. I mean, that's more of the stuff I 2:10:57.360 --> 2:10:59.680 worry about. I worry about you falling, I worry about 2:10:59.720 --> 2:11:02.480 you viving. I worry about you you know, those sharp 2:11:02.560 --> 2:11:04.560 objects are eating when you don't want to eat, And 2:11:04.640 --> 2:11:10.320 I worry about the partner feeling out of control and violated. So, okay, 2:11:10.560 --> 2:11:10.720 do you. 2:11:11.000 --> 2:11:13.920 Enjoy any of these dreams like you find them thrilling? 2:11:16.040 --> 2:11:19.640 The zombie dreams, the zombie dreams, what's that? 2:11:20.440 --> 2:11:23.920 It's it's it's it's enjoyable to like wake up to it, 2:11:24.440 --> 2:11:28.520 like like oh okay, and then it's just continue. 2:11:28.120 --> 2:11:30.880 Like yeah, why not be so you continue when you 2:11:30.920 --> 2:11:32.160 wake up, they don't stop. 2:11:32.240 --> 2:11:35.640 Yeah, no, they keep going there. They're good. Interesting. What 2:11:35.880 --> 2:11:37.200 better way to wake up? Is there a better way 2:11:37.200 --> 2:11:37.560 to wake up? 2:11:37.560 --> 2:11:41.520 I don't know, so I don't believe. 2:11:42.000 --> 2:11:45.560 All right, man, that's very very interesting. But good luck 2:11:45.600 --> 2:11:52.640 to you, Sam, Sam, all right. Now we're done. Now 2:11:52.680 --> 2:11:54.840 we're done. Now we're done. It's been a privilege, I 2:11:55.360 --> 2:11:57.960 particularly with the world out there that you you bring in. 2:11:58.120 --> 2:11:59.360 And I love the fact that the lot of them 2:11:59.400 --> 2:12:01.160 I'm from, a lot of them are what we call mommies. 2:12:01.200 --> 2:12:03.839 They come from your mom's house, and this big overlap 2:12:03.960 --> 2:12:05.120 evidently between our world. 2:12:05.280 --> 2:12:08.560 I'm happy to hear it. Man, it's been This is 2:12:09.080 --> 2:12:12.960 like a master class watching you take these calls. You know, 2:12:13.480 --> 2:12:15.160 It's it's been super cool. 2:12:15.240 --> 2:12:15.320 Man. 2:12:15.360 --> 2:12:17.320 I'm honored that you came on my pleasure. Thank you 2:12:17.400 --> 2:12:19.360 for doing this. You clearly have an audience that loves 2:12:19.400 --> 2:12:21.320 you and wants to chat with you, and that's a 2:12:21.400 --> 2:12:23.800 lot of you know, digital streaming stuff is people want 2:12:23.800 --> 2:12:25.760 to hang out and talk and you give them that chance. 2:12:25.960 --> 2:12:27.880 So good for you, Thank you, man. I appreciate it. 2:12:28.640 --> 2:12:31.560 And the gecko part I'm still not totally sold on. 2:12:31.680 --> 2:12:36.360 But no, OKAYR it's been two full hours and sixteen minutes. 2:12:36.440 --> 2:12:39.840 Anything else to say about being a gecko? Final thoughts? 2:12:41.000 --> 2:12:44.000 Be kind to me out there on the internet. I 2:12:44.320 --> 2:12:49.640 try don't destroy getting memed memed and accept it well 2:12:50.240 --> 2:12:52.400 and just be kind. 2:12:52.560 --> 2:12:52.720 You know. 2:12:52.920 --> 2:12:55.680 I come to you here in peace dressed as a gecko, 2:12:56.440 --> 2:12:59.000 and and that's my commitment to you all, and to 2:12:59.080 --> 2:13:01.600 you too, but most of your audience, I'm willing to 2:13:01.680 --> 2:13:03.200 do this to sit in. 2:13:04.720 --> 2:13:06.320 The cool I don't think I don't think they'll have 2:13:06.400 --> 2:13:08.080 a Are you worried about a spin on it of 2:13:08.200 --> 2:13:09.440 some kind that is dark? 2:13:09.520 --> 2:13:13.440 I'm worried that, uh, it will emerge someday when I'm 2:13:13.440 --> 2:13:16.200 trying to do something very serious and people, This is 2:13:16.240 --> 2:13:22.600 the thing. I it's people. When your physicians, you're not 2:13:22.720 --> 2:13:26.400 allowed to do anything unusual. And and I've always sort 2:13:26.440 --> 2:13:30.080 of pushed that envelope. A little bit is evidence. Today 2:13:30.160 --> 2:13:32.920 is evidence and you're and christ is here. 2:13:33.720 --> 2:13:35.840 And I can't shout out to Christa for putting this. 2:13:36.240 --> 2:13:37.960 I can't say no to Christa. There is no saying 2:13:38.120 --> 2:13:41.440 you'll learn this. There's no saying Notachrista. So that's unless 2:13:41.440 --> 2:13:41.760 I'm here. 2:13:42.480 --> 2:13:43.960 It's been a hont great talk. 2:13:44.480 --> 2:13:45.920 Thank you man, pleasure, thank you so much. 2:13:47.560 --> 2:13:48.800 Goes on the line. 2:13:50.160 --> 2:13:53.800 Ever teaching you. 2:14:02.520 --> 2:14:14.680 Boo boo boo boo boo boo, boof boof boof