Speaker 1: Hey, guys, it's Lyle. I just want to give a
Speaker 1: quick heads up about a couple of things before we
Speaker 1: get into the episode.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: The first thing is that I have a new schedule
Speaker 1: of how I'm going to be doing the podcast. I
Speaker 1: believe what we're gonna start doing is posting twice a
Speaker 1: week with shorter episodes. Ideally, we're gonna be doing one
Speaker 1: a week where it's just me, and then one a
Speaker 1: week where it's the guest. So that's twice a week,
Speaker 1: one just me, one with the guest. In the event
Speaker 1: that there I don't have a guest booked that week,
Speaker 1: it'll just be two shorter episodes that are just me.
Speaker 1: So think you know, two one hours, forty five minutes,
Speaker 1: hour and a half, whatever it is. But I just
Speaker 1: want to let you guys know that that moving forward,
Speaker 1: they will be more get content available.
Speaker 3: For your ears.
Speaker 1: If you've already listened to all of the back catalog,
Speaker 1: you know, I do this podcast out of my stream
Speaker 1: and I stream for about two hours twice a week,
Speaker 1: And ideally my schedules is gonna be I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: those streams and I'm gonna cut each one down and
Speaker 1: put each of them up as a podcast each week,
Speaker 1: and we will have more audio gecko words from my
Speaker 1: mouth and the caller's mouths and the guests mouths and
Speaker 1: everyone's mouths all coming together to spit words and sentences
Speaker 1: into your ears. Okay, that's the first thing. The second
Speaker 1: thing is I want to introduce the guest for this
Speaker 1: evening because it's a very very special episode. And I'll
Speaker 1: tell you, guys why. My guest for this episode is
Speaker 1: doctor Drew Pinsky. So the reason why this is so
Speaker 1: freaking cool is that doctor Drew Pinsky, along with Adam Carolla,
Speaker 1: was the host of a very popular old school radio
Speaker 1: call in show called Loveline, which has been going on
Speaker 1: since like nineteen eighty four, and it was it was
Speaker 1: huge in the nineties and the early two thousands, and
Speaker 1: it was kind of like the show basically was doctor
Speaker 1: Drew and Adam Carolla doing essentially the same thing that
Speaker 1: I do on this show, where they take inquiries from
Speaker 1: callers about various subject matter relating to various topics. And
Speaker 1: this episode was so cool because doctor Drew, first of all,
Speaker 1: is a actual bored, certified doctor who has actual knowledge,
Speaker 1: decades of knowledge to draw from when he's taking these
Speaker 1: calls and he's just been in radio and TV and
Speaker 1: podcasting for thirty years. And this episode was really cool
Speaker 1: because I feel like Therapy Gecko in a way is
Speaker 1: like a spiritual successor to a lot of what doctor
Speaker 1: Drew was doing on Loveline, except he was doing it
Speaker 1: as a actual certified medicine guy and I'm doing it,
Speaker 1: you know, as a gecko. So it was just very
Speaker 1: cool to hear him give these callers very well thought
Speaker 1: out responses to their questions. And you know, we took
Speaker 1: calls on this podcast that I wouldn't normally take because
Speaker 1: some of them were a little heavy, and I typically
Speaker 1: try to stray away from heavy stuff. And it's interesting
Speaker 1: because a lot of the time what I do on
Speaker 1: this show is like I'll just talk to people like
Speaker 1: through whatever it is that that they've got going on.
Speaker 1: Whereas doctor Drew, he has like actual answers to people's
Speaker 1: inquiries that he can give via all this information that
Speaker 1: he has in his head. Is an actual doctor. So
Speaker 1: thank you again to doctor Drew Pinsky for coming. For
Speaker 1: those of you who don't know who he is, I'm
Speaker 1: happy for this podcast to be your first introduction to
Speaker 1: him and let's get into it, doctor Drew.
Speaker 3: Yeah, buddy, how are you feeling odd?
Speaker 1: Odd? Tell me more.
Speaker 3: Well, one part of me feels like I'm breathing in
Speaker 3: asbestos because of the mouth. Another part feels like this
Speaker 3: is so comfortable that I want to go to sleep
Speaker 3: right now, like pajamas. Uh. And of course there's humiliation
Speaker 3: certain a certain amount of the uh and uh. Yeah,
Speaker 3: happy to be here. Beautiful it makes and it makes
Speaker 3: me look like my posture is bad. Really, yeah, look
Speaker 3: at that. My posture is no good? Do you It
Speaker 3: looks bad too, makes us both look like.
Speaker 1: I actually wanted to I was. I was telling you beforehand.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of aspects of this that I am
Speaker 1: afraid and I'm glad I can talk to you about
Speaker 1: this because a doctor. There's a lot of aspects about
Speaker 1: this whole thing that I am afraid of. How they
Speaker 1: will in the future, how.
Speaker 3: You'll be remembered, what will say in your tombstone.
Speaker 1: Like how they'll like affect my health, like the posture like.
Speaker 3: You said that, pain and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the paint like I I really have.
Speaker 3: To worry about it. But yes, worthy of concern.
Speaker 1: Okay, We're they're good because I you know, I've I've
Speaker 1: been doing about a year and a half and I'm
Speaker 1: wondering how much longer can I go before some skin
Speaker 1: issues developed.
Speaker 3: The makeup is designed not to hurt you unless you've
Speaker 3: got some something in here that I'm not aware of,
Speaker 3: some some silver and with some product in there that
Speaker 3: I should be scared of. Usually it's not unless you
Speaker 3: get this ship from Europe or something.
Speaker 1: It's a talk based pain.
Speaker 3: Oh I see, is that is that bad? I hurt?
Speaker 3: Mostly it's ovarian cancer, So I don't know get gos?
Speaker 3: Are they they have sex? Secondly, they are they I'm
Speaker 3: afrodd hemaphroditic or are they come in different sexes?
Speaker 1: I do not have any uh over We're probably about stuff.
Speaker 3: You're good, Okay, you should be good.
Speaker 1: Okay, So doctor, do I mean what has been what
Speaker 1: has been the most persistent thought on your mind lately?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 3: When are we going to get out of all this
Speaker 3: COVID nonsense? Okay, that's a good one. Uh when are
Speaker 3: we going to be sort of returned to normal? And
Speaker 3: I think people if the super Bowl is any evidence
Speaker 3: see what uncomfortable these chairs are that the super Bowl
Speaker 3: is any evidence I think people are ready to go.
Speaker 3: People are ready to get out and do things. And
Speaker 3: you know, here I'm sitting in a green outfit.
Speaker 1: We're doing a thing right now. We're pretty close to
Speaker 1: each other.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think about it. Of course, I've
Speaker 3: had COVID twice and I've been vaccinated and I'm about
Speaker 3: as immune as you can get.
Speaker 1: Is there a thing in particular that you want to
Speaker 1: do that COVID is stopping you from?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: No, that's it's funny you would ask that, because I
Speaker 3: kind of have that conversation by self periodically. It's like,
Speaker 3: what is it you want to do you're not doing right?
Speaker 3: I'd like to fly an airplane without a mask. I'd
Speaker 3: like to do that.
Speaker 1: Well, if you're eating the peanuts, it's like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but they are on you now you have to
Speaker 3: put it up between bites. It's really weird. So even
Speaker 3: though I would like, here's what I would like, I
Speaker 3: would the other thing I p occupied it is how
Speaker 3: how far we are from the science and how the
Speaker 3: clinical You know that the clinical people have not been
Speaker 3: involved in guiding this this mess, and it's just been
Speaker 3: a disaster.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I feel like I'm not paying enough attention
Speaker 1: to what's going on.
Speaker 3: I'm just if you can avoid all that's going on
Speaker 3: out there, you'll feel better.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you, you know, I mean, this
Speaker 1: is what we're doing talking to people on the phone
Speaker 1: and so, and this is your whole life for thirty years.
Speaker 1: Are you exhausted after thirty years of no? Everyone's everything?
Speaker 3: No, Because I love people and I find their problems fascinating.
Speaker 3: And every time I'm talking to somebody for whom it
Speaker 3: is important, you know what I mean, they find it important,
Speaker 3: So I find it important by you know, by being
Speaker 3: compelled by their feeling states and no, and I learned
Speaker 3: new things even now. I mean I haven't heard everything.
Speaker 3: I feel like I've heard everything, but I'm sure I haven't.
Speaker 3: And I get a little troubled when there's no structure
Speaker 3: to the relationship and somebody who backs me into the
Speaker 3: candy section at the seven eleven with some crazy questions
Speaker 3: right right, And I feel bad because there's no beginning, middle,
Speaker 3: and end. And usually the kinds of question they're asking
Speaker 3: would take to help them with. Let's see, they have
Speaker 3: like three minutes with them, take about seven years to
Speaker 3: actually make a difference.
Speaker 1: Does that happen to a lot. You'll get ambushed by people.
Speaker 1: It will be like, hey, I need you right this
Speaker 1: experiment and this candy aisle? Oh yeah, concept and what
Speaker 1: is your polite way of is?
Speaker 3: I feel bad about it every time I have to
Speaker 3: say these are these are complex issues. This is not
Speaker 3: you know, the abbaz abba bars are right here. This
Speaker 3: is not the right environment for doing anything. But I'll
Speaker 3: usually make some suggestions. You hope you have this kind
Speaker 3: of doctor and just some suggestions and that's that.
Speaker 1: So, I mean, what do you feel like if somebody
Speaker 1: comes to you and you feel like you can't help them?
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how often that happens.
Speaker 3: What depends you mean by can't help and they're going
Speaker 3: to die? That that happens. People get certain illnesses that
Speaker 3: you know happens a lot. Then you talk about how
Speaker 3: to die and how to make it dignified. You how
Speaker 3: do you die dignified? It depends on you know, what
Speaker 3: that person's desires are, and you know, it's really trying
Speaker 3: to get people into acceptance about what the reality is.
Speaker 3: And it's hard, it's very very hard, and oftentimes a
Speaker 3: family too, Are you really going to go down this
Speaker 3: path the family too. Can't people avoid grief? People will
Speaker 3: do anything to avoid grief. That's probably the most number
Speaker 3: one problem in mental health. One of the reasons people
Speaker 3: don't change is in order to change, you have to
Speaker 3: a certain party, you have to go away or die,
Speaker 3: and a new part has to emerge. There's a certain
Speaker 3: amount of grief that goes on with real growth. Always,
Speaker 3: people will do anything not to feel grief, and certainly
Speaker 3: when actually somebody you love is dying, then they'll do anything,
Speaker 3: and they'll just won't. They won't deal with reality, they
Speaker 3: won't accept it, and that can be very problematic.
Speaker 1: Do you have you taken the time to go through
Speaker 1: your own acceptance of mortality.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I've been saying forever that COVID should have given
Speaker 3: us the opportunity to talk about that. People should have
Speaker 3: really thought about it, because for instance, just something like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, these people in nursing homes are dying, Well,
Speaker 3: that's terrible. Shn't get me wrong, it is awful. But
Speaker 3: the average life expectancy for a male after admission to
Speaker 3: a nursing home is six months always, and if you
Speaker 3: need institutional care, meaning people to turn more than one
Speaker 3: person to turn, you feed, you wipe your ass. You
Speaker 3: should really be talking to your family about whether you
Speaker 3: want to ever be in a nursing home. I don't never.
Speaker 3: I will die quietly at home before just to extend
Speaker 3: my life three months, four months, six months with people
Speaker 3: having to lift it sounds it's just terrible. I would never.
Speaker 3: I mean, who knows when you get there?
Speaker 1: Of course, do you have to give an age you're
Speaker 1: going for, like you're a goal in mind.
Speaker 3: I'd love to get in my mid eighties.
Speaker 1: Mid eighties.
Speaker 3: That'd be great.
Speaker 1: That feels like a good amount of you know, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to do like one hundred.
Speaker 3: Nineties for man, it's just I mean, there is a
Speaker 3: ninety year old out there that is amazing. His name
Speaker 3: is William Shatner. He is amazing ninety. I think he's
Speaker 3: ninety now, well, hell does he know? Maybe I'm over
Speaker 3: doing it? Can you look it up? But he's he's
Speaker 3: up there and he's fantastic. I mean, he inspires you.
Speaker 3: But you know, he's been to space and stuff.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like there is something to being
Speaker 1: at that age and being so he's really ninety?
Speaker 7: Is this?
Speaker 1: He looks damn good for Nineties's amazing.
Speaker 3: He's the loveliest man you ever meet. His brain is
Speaker 3: quicker than mine, and he's curious about everything, and he's
Speaker 3: got vitality. It's just if if I could be that
Speaker 3: dad in ninety, I'll go to one hundred. Thank you,
Speaker 3: that'd be great. I mean, so right now, at how
Speaker 3: old you sixty three?
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're you're gonna get there?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 3: Sometimes I do, Sometimes I don't. I've had rational, screwed
Speaker 3: up medical problems lately. Prouse, they cancer, diverticul itis, all
Speaker 3: kinds of lovely things.
Speaker 1: I mean, who do you go to when you you're
Speaker 1: a guy who you know? People come to you with
Speaker 1: their problems? Who do you go to when you have problems?
Speaker 5: All?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 3: Therapy? For many, many years it was the best thing ever.
Speaker 3: Did it really put Billy shake me up to be
Speaker 3: a good mental health professional?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 3: And then I have an internist, and I have a
Speaker 3: radio therapist, and I have an urologist and all that stuff.
Speaker 3: You know, we use medical services in my house.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, beautiful, well listen, folks. Uh, doctor Drew is Uh.
Speaker 1: This is the first time we've had an actual licensed.
Speaker 3: Physician physician addressed as a gecko, which I addresses a
Speaker 3: GEcho medical person, which and speaking of which, Actually, are
Speaker 3: there any ethical issues that that this creates for us?
Speaker 3: Are we are we h adopting a cultural are we
Speaker 3: co opting some cultural or oh like green face a problem?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you meant ethical issues of Uh well,
Speaker 1: I guess me giving unlicensed whatever.
Speaker 3: I won't even get. That's too deep for me even go.
Speaker 3: I'm just wondering by appropriating the gecko community is green
Speaker 3: face and issue?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm a geckos, I'm allowed to do green face,
Speaker 1: and you're also a gecko now, which makes you allowed
Speaker 1: to do green face.
Speaker 3: Which is interesting. So so once you become it, you
Speaker 3: just are it.
Speaker 1: There is you know, the thing about echos, not a
Speaker 1: whole lot of gatekeeping in the community. It's very easy
Speaker 1: to declare yourself.
Speaker 3: Maybe you want to lead. They need some more. It's
Speaker 3: because they're afraid. They're afraid to declare their gender identity,
Speaker 3: their sexuality. Maybe you could be a leader in this.
Speaker 1: I would, I would, I would love to speak on behalf.
Speaker 3: Of all of that. Good. Let's see what happens. That'd
Speaker 3: be great.
Speaker 1: Let's see what we got here. Hello, Laura, Laura, how
Speaker 1: you doing it? Says here that you want to ask
Speaker 1: about how to trust while you're in love. I think
Speaker 1: you're struggling with trust in your current relationship. You wanta
Speaker 1: tell us more about that?
Speaker 9: Yeah, dude, let's.
Speaker 5: Let's get into it.
Speaker 6: Do you have any like questions like building me up first?
Speaker 1: Any questions building up?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 9: Like, well to like understand kind of like the backstory, like.
Speaker 3: Well, sure, okay, I'll get to it. Please, all right,
Speaker 3: I'll get to it. Uh. Did you know your dad?
Speaker 10: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And did he leave at any point?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 3: No, he never abandoned you. No, So your parents are
Speaker 3: still together?
Speaker 10: Yeah?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 8: What is.
Speaker 3: Okay? And their relationship their relationship together? And is any
Speaker 3: drinking or drug use or anything like that?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 9: Not really, like they drink like regular old people.
Speaker 3: Okay, and held hell okay, I got it? And hell
Speaker 3: dore you.
Speaker 9: I'm twenty one.
Speaker 3: And have you had problematic relationships in the past where
Speaker 3: people violated your trust?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay for sizzle for snizzle? And is it recent or
Speaker 3: was it or has it been repeatedly one particularly bad one?
Speaker 3: What's what's the deal.
Speaker 9: I was with like a person for like let's say
Speaker 9: like it was like three to like four years, I'd say,
Speaker 9: and it was like really bad, like verbally abusive. All right,
Speaker 9: I'm not even sure exactly exactly what like gaslighting is,
Speaker 9: but I guess like all.
Speaker 3: Right, and did your parents your parents? Did you did
Speaker 3: you have any trauma or abuse when you were growing up?
Speaker 3: I don't, I don't think So, Okay, these are simple questions.
Speaker 3: I'm not I'm just trying to get, as you said,
Speaker 3: what are the questions to kind of frame this thing?
Speaker 3: Those are the questions. So here's the deal. Uh, you
Speaker 3: need to get back out there and start rebuilding your
Speaker 3: trust in other people. I don't know why you got
Speaker 3: in this essentially domestic abuse situation. You might want to
Speaker 3: look at the look at the cycle of domestic abuse.
Speaker 3: Just google that you want to read maybe p melodies
Speaker 3: work about codependency and boundary issues in relationships and people
Speaker 3: that sabotage relationships, which what you're doing. Now I've been
Speaker 3: in the past you went into quickly. Right, I've.
Speaker 5: Two relationships, But did.
Speaker 3: You did you kind of jump into them? Did you?
Speaker 3: Did you wear your heart on your sleeves? So to speak? Yeah? So,
Speaker 3: and now you've gone the other side, which is now
Speaker 3: your now your love avoidance, now your love avoidance. You
Speaker 3: don't trust, You're sabotaging things when they do get close.
Speaker 3: Go go read p melodies literature, okay, and learn about
Speaker 3: what you're doing and if you have not if you
Speaker 3: really have had a decent if your parents p a melody,
Speaker 3: and if you're really you know, have had no trauma,
Speaker 3: and your relationships for good growing up and stuff with
Speaker 3: your primary your family of origin. This should be something
Speaker 3: you can handle. Okay, yeah, all right, go read those books.
Speaker 3: Thank you? Lay this music playing? Can can the audience here?
Speaker 1: That means oh yeah, yeah they can.
Speaker 3: It's fantastic.
Speaker 1: You really have been doing this for thirty years?
Speaker 8: What?
Speaker 1: Oh no, I just I you know typically uh nice.
Speaker 3: Oh I've been doing this for thirty yeah. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: it's almost like I know what I'm doing, is what
Speaker 3: you're saying? Oh yeah, totally almost. Yeah yeah yeah. What
Speaker 3: was that book you told her in melody? It's actually
Speaker 3: actually the classic when I recommended something called Overcoming Love Addiction.
Speaker 3: Overcoming Love Addiction. She's looking it up right now.
Speaker 1: Over So you so you okay, so you've, as you said,
Speaker 1: heard almost everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you feel like so.
Speaker 1: So have you heard people give that exact name, same issue.
Speaker 1: You know, I have trust issues, you know a thousand times?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, but I have trust you. It's very vague.
Speaker 3: That's very vague. Her thing is she she has? You know,
Speaker 3: there's very all kinds of ways to frame what you
Speaker 3: know and think about what she has. But what's suitable
Speaker 3: for sort of you know, transmission and consumption across a
Speaker 3: when I'm dressed green and we're using the internet. It's
Speaker 3: you know, you can't get into deep dynamics about these things,
Speaker 3: but the basic phenomena can be understood as codependency, boundary issues, love, addiction.
Speaker 3: There's various ways of sort of talking about it and
Speaker 3: thinking about it, and there's some good literature out there
Speaker 3: about now. If you can't, if you can't relate, if
Speaker 3: you can't get back into closes, people need work, love
Speaker 3: and play right, and if they if you can't or
Speaker 3: you can't function, if you have trouble functioning work, you
Speaker 3: have trouble getting having relationships. That's and you can't manage
Speaker 3: it yourself, that's when you need therapy.
Speaker 1: So, I mean a lot of the times, you know
Speaker 1: the fact that you're able to just gain so much
Speaker 1: of a read on people within pretty quick amount of time.
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people they feel as
Speaker 1: though their situation is so complex, so unique, that they're like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, but I have to tell you this detail
Speaker 1: a way.
Speaker 3: But I have to tell you yeah, yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 3: and there are everyone is unique, and there are unique
Speaker 3: elements to everybody's story. But but in terms of what
Speaker 3: you can do in a single encounter and all that
Speaker 3: stuff kind of so when when you know this thing,
Speaker 3: when you walk in a room as a physician, you
Speaker 3: almost can smell what's going on you, you know, like
Speaker 3: in the first it drives people crazy because why don't
Speaker 3: you spend more time with me. It's like I knew
Speaker 3: a minute thirty and well, exactly what was going on here?
Speaker 3: Because you've seen it. We've seen everything. There's nothing you
Speaker 3: haven't seen them if you've if you're practicing medicine, and
Speaker 3: and then you kind of know what to do and
Speaker 3: where to start. Now not necessarily gonna be able to
Speaker 3: solve everything after it's it's the session of process, and
Speaker 3: we will and it will morph and change. We will
Speaker 3: learn things as we go, which is why doctors have
Speaker 3: to follow up and stay on top of things. But
Speaker 3: in terms of starting it out and kind of knowing
Speaker 3: what's going on, that's a pretty quick assessed. It's pretty
Speaker 3: quick to do that. So what else we got here?
Speaker 1: Hey, Chris? Yeah Chris, It says he you're not sure
Speaker 1: what to do with your life. You currently run a
Speaker 1: shoe business, you want to be an actor, and you're
Speaker 1: not sure how to make it.
Speaker 3: You're twenty one. Oh man, I I this is a
Speaker 3: We could have a giant conversation about this because what well,
Speaker 3: Chris tell us your story first. But I'm gonna bet
Speaker 3: Chris is gonna articulate something that is generationally unique and
Speaker 3: exceedingly common right now. Yeah, not everyone wants to dress
Speaker 3: up as a get go and talk on the internet.
Speaker 3: Not everyone. I know.
Speaker 1: It's hard to match, but let's see what he has.
Speaker 11: Go ahead, Chris, all right, So I'm pretty much I'm
Speaker 11: twenty one. I get a I get paid to run
Speaker 11: a shoe company called the Kicks. You buy the train
Speaker 11: and take use shoes in and I've been doing it
Speaker 11: for like six years at this point, because I was
Speaker 11: like fifteen. Wow, I am at the point in my
Speaker 11: life Roger, just like I want to do something else.
Speaker 3: Good for you? First of all, Yeah, I do know
Speaker 3: what you mean. And it's good for you for for
Speaker 3: starting young and taking it seriously and having a essentially
Speaker 3: a business at the age of lateeen. That's yeah. And
Speaker 3: is it is the problem? It's not, no, I understand,
Speaker 3: but still it's it's it's you're you're ahead of your
Speaker 3: peers already. And so the question is, is the problem
Speaker 3: that you just have a free floating desire to make
Speaker 3: a change and any change will do, or you can't
Speaker 3: figure out what it is you want to do.
Speaker 11: I just like, don't know what I really want to do.
Speaker 11: Guy for years, always want to become like an actor
Speaker 11: or something like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well what kind of actor? Comedy, drama, what's your
Speaker 1: what's your preferred genre?
Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing about dreams and fantasies, Uh, they
Speaker 3: have to align with reality, Okay. And so one one
Speaker 3: of the things I've noticed about people in their twenties
Speaker 3: is they have lots of big ideas that are wonderful,
Speaker 3: but aren't they don't get started, or they aren't steeped
Speaker 3: in any reality or really even know what the what
Speaker 3: it would be like because they've never done it. So
Speaker 3: if if you're gonna your whole life harbor this desire
Speaker 3: to have been an actor and regret whatever else it
Speaker 3: is you do, that would not be good, so that
Speaker 3: the trick would be to go where do you live,
Speaker 3: as you say, over there, Columbus, Ohio. I mean there's
Speaker 3: I'm sure there's a big school there, and you know
Speaker 3: there's a you know, there's got to be a big
Speaker 3: theater community. Go go do some theater and see if
Speaker 3: you really actually do like it, and do some and
Speaker 3: do some acting classes, and somebody who really likes that
Speaker 3: won't want to do anything else. They'll just that's all
Speaker 3: they'll want to do. They'll just be in and that'll
Speaker 3: be that. And then how I do it, whether I'm
Speaker 3: successful won't matter as much as this is what I
Speaker 3: must do and find out if you really like you
Speaker 3: may not. The reality of it may be far far,
Speaker 3: far different than the fantasy.
Speaker 1: I mean, what made you want to get into this
Speaker 1: in the first place.
Speaker 11: It was just like I like seeing them on TV,
Speaker 11: like people being other people, you know what I mean,
Speaker 11: Like you see their personality when they on like a runway,
Speaker 11: but like on movie they're Batman, you know what I mean.
Speaker 11: Like that's interesting the scene, so I think somebody else.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I had a little fantasy like that
Speaker 3: when I was younger too, and and my fantasy was,
Speaker 3: I like, I wanted to be I wanted to be
Speaker 3: in the fan. I wanted to be in the in
Speaker 3: the fun in the film. That wanted to be part
Speaker 3: of what was going on there, not having any idea
Speaker 3: what was actually going on. You know that that to
Speaker 3: take that one shot of Batman just looking past the
Speaker 3: camera takes nineteen guys setting up the lights.
Speaker 1: Right, you're you're not in the film, you're on the
Speaker 1: film sets.
Speaker 3: You're not even there. You're in that trailer and you
Speaker 3: come out, they light you, you go back, somebody else
Speaker 3: comes out, you go back. You realize you go back.
Speaker 3: You never see the other actors. They're just taking a
Speaker 3: cross shot at you. And it's a lot different. Now.
Speaker 3: It might be something you really really like and be
Speaker 3: really really fun. It is kind of fun and exciting
Speaker 3: to be on these environments and they're creating something fascinating.
Speaker 3: But I wanted to be in the creative process too.
Speaker 3: I think that was part of my fantasy because I
Speaker 3: still liked that part. I still like creating stuff it feel.
Speaker 1: As though you've ascertained that goal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's I'm sorry, Chris, We're gonna we're
Speaker 3: gonna talk like you're not here for a second. It's
Speaker 3: I've noticed you have talked to a lot of people
Speaker 3: and all kinds of entertainment businesses, and nobody seems to
Speaker 3: be doing what they want to do. Musicians want to
Speaker 3: be actors, Actors want to be producers want to be
Speaker 3: rock stars. Producers want to be actors. I'm doing what
Speaker 3: I want to do. I kind of feel like pretty
Speaker 3: good about what I'm doing and I like it, and
Speaker 3: it's it's fully integrate to who I am. And that's Chris.
Speaker 3: That's the goal, Chris. The goal is to pull optimize
Speaker 3: all the talents you have and integrate all the parts
Speaker 3: of you and then do something with that that is
Speaker 3: a real expression of that. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: I mean, Chris, Chris, Chris, you know, I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: to what you were saying, like, you know, what, what
Speaker 1: are all the different aspects of you? What's important to you?
Speaker 1: I mean, what's your like? I mean, I I kind
Speaker 1: of feel like I'm doing that right.
Speaker 3: It has to because you wouldn't. You wouldn't be dressed
Speaker 3: up in the gecko otter otherwise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's it speaks of of a creative connection to the process.
Speaker 3: You gotta like it to do into it right committed,
Speaker 3: you're into it, you like it, and uh and and
Speaker 3: but you you didn't do it and then not like
Speaker 3: it you did it, you probably liked it more.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't like it, you know sometimes and everything
Speaker 1: to me, I know, that's a different thing, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean every every like, everything you're gonna do, has
Speaker 1: aspects of it that are unpleasant.
Speaker 3: But you're right. Yeah, I guess, Well, then that means
Speaker 3: you you should When people say stuff like that, I
Speaker 3: always think you should have had a what did you
Speaker 3: do before this? Uh funk? What did I do for? I?
Speaker 1: Like, I produce comedy shows.
Speaker 3: So you got to do producing producing? Yeah you got
Speaker 3: that's Chris. It's also important to have had a job
Speaker 3: that was hard, because then you'll appreciate the other things
Speaker 3: that are more creative and maybe not as arduous, you know,
Speaker 3: in terms of you're already running a business, so I
Speaker 3: mean you're you're you know, you're there kind of but Chris,
Speaker 3: go do it, Go do it. God damn it.
Speaker 1: Go do it, right, Chris, All right, are you moving
Speaker 1: to Hollywood?
Speaker 3: No, don't do a Hollywood yet. Go to go to
Speaker 3: acting classes, go to the nearest theater and get into production,
Speaker 3: and then go to Hollywood. If somebody says you're good, yeah,
Speaker 3: we'll find out if you like it, and then get
Speaker 3: good at it. You gotta build it, I mean, you gotta,
Speaker 3: you gotta, you gotta develop something some This is a
Speaker 3: thing that people miss. You need skill and wisdom to
Speaker 3: be to be able to contribute. Yes, you need both,
Speaker 3: and if you come with neither, it's not going to
Speaker 3: go very well. Well, Chris, skill is something developed, wisdom
Speaker 3: is something developed. Now some people develop it very fast
Speaker 3: because they're talented, right.
Speaker 1: But you got you gotta jump into it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta do it.
Speaker 1: Things we'll see in the picture.
Speaker 12: Chris.
Speaker 3: Can't wait to see what you do. But I've got
Speaker 3: to hear all the time Millennials they don't know what
Speaker 3: they want to do this I don't want. They don't
Speaker 3: know what to too many choices. It drives me crazy.
Speaker 1: Actually, I want to hear more about what you were
Speaker 1: saying about. You know, everyone you feel like their their dreams,
Speaker 1: don't match up with with reality?
Speaker 12: But do you?
Speaker 3: But okay, well, you feel like dreams and reality? I
Speaker 3: said two things. I said, everyone wants to be doing
Speaker 3: something other than they're doing sure, And then I said
Speaker 3: people have fantasies and dreams that they don't even test
Speaker 3: in reality, so they don't know whether.
Speaker 1: Well that's like, you know, if you're a comedian, you imagine, oh,
Speaker 1: being a musician must be so great. If you're a musician, Oh,
Speaker 1: being a comedian, like the grass is always greener on inside,
Speaker 1: whatever is you do?
Speaker 3: That's right? Yeah, that that But but I think I
Speaker 3: think sometimes people like go in wanting to be an
Speaker 3: actor and then become a producer and always harbor this
Speaker 3: sort of oh I should have what if I had,
Speaker 3: you know? And and same thing with musicians. They probably
Speaker 3: saw somebody on TV like Chris and thought I'll be
Speaker 3: fun to be in that I'm a loser, I'll learn
Speaker 3: to play the guitar. Okay, and that's it.
Speaker 1: But you know, when you're when you're talking about like
Speaker 1: dreams that aren't sustainable with reality, don't you feel like
Speaker 1: if you're like nineteen or twenty one or whatever, like
Speaker 1: now's the time to fuck up. Yes to go be
Speaker 1: broke on the street, do what fucking.
Speaker 3: And and but you're missing I think you're missing my
Speaker 3: what I'm trying to emphasize, which is test reality. Yes,
Speaker 3: don't just stay up in your head thinking about how
Speaker 3: great it's gonna be. Go do it and find out
Speaker 3: if it's what you like. So we're telling Chris, find
Speaker 3: out if it's what you like, find out if it's
Speaker 3: if you're good at it, and if you're not, how
Speaker 3: how committed are you to get better? Go do it?
Speaker 3: If you if you're gonna be able to declare yourself
Speaker 3: a writer and never sit down and write a word.
Speaker 3: That same through Chris. He's wanting to be an actor
Speaker 3: but never been into production. No, no, no, that's not good.
Speaker 6: Go do it?
Speaker 3: To Anne?
Speaker 12: And and is that you hello?
Speaker 10: Yes?
Speaker 4: Oh God?
Speaker 3: And how you doing.
Speaker 1: I'm here with doctor Drew And it says here you
Speaker 1: would like to do more anal but you have a
Speaker 1: lot of hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2: M h, well it's not it's it's not like a lot.
Speaker 10: But I've had a history with it in the past
Speaker 10: to the point where it hinders me from you know, making.
Speaker 13: The decision to.
Speaker 3: Try it right, And were you pregnant or anything when
Speaker 3: you had the hemorrhoids.
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no, no, I just sh a lot.
Speaker 3: You just shipped a lot.
Speaker 10: So what you said, I mean I'm being no yeah, yeah,
Speaker 10: I like I don't know why, but I shit at
Speaker 10: least three times a day, all right, the.
Speaker 3: Health, that's right, it's no, there's no there's an yeah,
Speaker 3: there's no shit standard.
Speaker 1: I thought there totally was no no.
Speaker 3: Uh and so so, but do you've never been pregnant? Correct? No, no, no, okay,
Speaker 3: And how were you when you first started noticing hemorrhoids.
Speaker 10: I think I was about like nineteen.
Speaker 3: Okay, do they bleed?
Speaker 7: So?
Speaker 14: Yeah?
Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, I mean it was enough. I went I
Speaker 10: had to get like like a minor colonoscopy, not like
Speaker 10: the whole thing, but the whole thing where like a whole.
Speaker 3: Camera, right, what's called a sigmoid. So all right, and
Speaker 3: they saw the hemorrhoids and they were internal hemorrhoids, external hemorrhoids. Both.
Speaker 10: You know, it was external.
Speaker 4: It wasn't that bad.
Speaker 10: I just ate a bunch of fiber and like it
Speaker 10: kind of went away.
Speaker 3: But it's a continuous problem, right, Well, anal is not
Speaker 3: gonna make it better, okay, And if you do it
Speaker 3: lots of lube. Uh and if it hurts, stop and
Speaker 3: if it bleeds afterwards, don't do it again. And you
Speaker 3: might try, you know, some sort of graduated device something
Speaker 3: to kind of help, you know, ease things up down
Speaker 3: there a little bit. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, are you sugguesching? She practiced with.
Speaker 3: A of some kind then and graduated like small bit okay, sure,
Speaker 3: and not even practiced so much as I gotta go ahead,
Speaker 3: you you gotta.
Speaker 4: I gotta, I gotta, I gotta like, you know, like
Speaker 4: a butt plug to try to like ease it.
Speaker 3: Out a little bit, right, That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 4: I hadn't, I hadn't used it in a while because
Speaker 4: last time I did it there was like a minor
Speaker 4: incident and it hit my boyfriend.
Speaker 10: In the balls.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you're the best. Uh well, here's to
Speaker 3: and for for courage and fortitude and persistence. Oh absolutely,
Speaker 3: and gets the award today.
Speaker 1: And uh you know who I mean, who's more interested
Speaker 1: in having antle sacks between you and your boy That's.
Speaker 3: That's I was gonna go down that path, So go ahead, answer,
Speaker 3: So you know it.
Speaker 4: Started off, it's more like him being were interested in it,
Speaker 4: and then like the more you know, things got involved
Speaker 4: with it, the more I actually like started liking it.
Speaker 4: And I guess, you know, I don't like you know,
Speaker 4: I guess like the weird you know, like part about
Speaker 4: it is. I guess like I saw this like comedy
Speaker 4: thing and it was like, you know, I like anal
Speaker 4: because I should a lot. And I was like, well,
Speaker 4: I was like that kind of makes sense.
Speaker 1: You know, that sounds dumb, but what you said, you
Speaker 1: saw a comedy thing. You said that made you want
Speaker 1: to do like yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, no.
Speaker 4: I was watching this stand up comedian chick and she
Speaker 4: was talking about how she just was she like ships
Speaker 4: a lot and then she tried anal and she was
Speaker 4: like it's so great because like I should a lot
Speaker 4: so much. And she was like, I love it so
Speaker 4: much because I should so much.
Speaker 3: What did Nicki Glazer say?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 3: What did Nikki say? Now? What did she say? On
Speaker 3: the joke? And good good luck to you? And uh
Speaker 3: and white Friend as well also Ali Wong. These days,
Speaker 3: she is getting deep into the paint with her sexual content.
Speaker 3: Have you seen her new Netflix special I No I haven't.
Speaker 1: It's it's a raunch fest.
Speaker 3: It is on. Yeah, good for her, and she does
Speaker 3: it with with very very bold clarity.
Speaker 1: Sophia. Hello, Sofia. It says here that you just started
Speaker 1: pegging your boyfriend and you want advice on this situation.
Speaker 1: When you say advice, so you're talking about how to
Speaker 1: do this safely, how to do this effectively, how to
Speaker 1: do this for maximum pleasure.
Speaker 15: Well, I can't say I'm an expert on the topic yet,
Speaker 15: but yeah, be invested in.
Speaker 12: A it's a strap on.
Speaker 15: It's like a insert vibrator and it's like I have
Speaker 15: the pick, you know, I have the power.
Speaker 16: And yeah, it was fun.
Speaker 15: It was new territories.
Speaker 1: Okay, see that at once.
Speaker 3: Is there a question here or you just need to declare,
Speaker 3: declare to the world.
Speaker 15: Well, it's kind of complicated. I guess I just wanted
Speaker 15: to hear perspectives on how I'm feeling, because after this
Speaker 15: situation happened, I was like, hmm, what does this mean
Speaker 15: sexuality wise for.
Speaker 3: Him for him and then for him, or for for
Speaker 3: you and for him. That's both of you. So you're
Speaker 3: wondering what do you want about yourself?
Speaker 15: Well, well, okay, we're both bisexual, So you're wondering.
Speaker 3: You're wondering if you would rather do this behavior with
Speaker 3: a female. Yeah, okay, well we can't answer that. That's
Speaker 3: that's up to you exactly. As far as his sexuality, no,
Speaker 3: it does not mean anything. It really doesn't. I know
Speaker 3: people will argue about this, but it really doesn't. So
Speaker 3: he likes being pegged, okay, good times. Okay, but you're
Speaker 3: you're the one. You're the one left with the question
Speaker 3: marks about how you know? Where am I going to
Speaker 3: take this? Right?
Speaker 1: Is he is this situation making him feel any sort
Speaker 1: of questioning about his gender identity or sexuality?
Speaker 15: I asked him and he said no. But also like
Speaker 15: he like when we were having sex, he like wanted
Speaker 15: me to call him a female, and so that was
Speaker 15: like something that I wasn't expecting, and so I asked
Speaker 15: him about it afterwards, but it was just like something
Speaker 15: he did in sex, and.
Speaker 1: So it was just kind of like, huh, I mean,
Speaker 1: is that is that pose some sort of issue for you?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 15: No, it does not pauses an issue.
Speaker 3: She likes it. It's just all kinds of question marks
Speaker 3: all over the place, and everything means something. Let's be fair,
Speaker 3: But It doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't necessarily mean anything
Speaker 3: that you should be thinking worried about, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean? I cannot you know, if he's gay, he
Speaker 3: will like to have sex with men, if he has
Speaker 3: a if his gender identity is unclear for him right now,
Speaker 3: that will clarify hopefully for him with time. Okay, do
Speaker 3: that makes sense?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think you're fine. You're the least stick with some
Speaker 3: of your own question marks. You know what am What
Speaker 3: am I going to do with this paper that I
Speaker 3: seem to be into right now?
Speaker 8: Like?
Speaker 3: What do I want to do?
Speaker 2: Her?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: It's the whole thing. If she's taking into account what's
Speaker 1: going on, you know, her question marks and her partner's question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, his, don't worry about his his or his and
Speaker 3: they're there. They I don't think they're even anything, frankly,
Speaker 3: but but you're going to ask him about it. But
Speaker 3: that's up to him. Those are his things, all right?
Speaker 3: Thank you for calling?
Speaker 1: Sofia.
Speaker 3: Where is Sophia, Sophia, Where are you at? Where are you?
Speaker 3: Where are you, Sofia?
Speaker 15: I am in California, Okay.
Speaker 3: I just I just always like I'm just always curious
Speaker 3: where people are calling from and just you know, it's
Speaker 3: like to kind of picture are you picturing Sofia in California? Now?
Speaker 3: I was thinking more mid Atlantic sort of stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 3: thank you.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like do you do you think about
Speaker 1: any of the people that ever call into your show?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean like it does it haunt me?
Speaker 1: Not even not even a haunt, but like you know,
Speaker 1: or do you do?
Speaker 5: You do?
Speaker 1: You have a pretty separate like when I am on
Speaker 1: the air or in you know, my office or whatever,
Speaker 1: that is what I'm thinking about these things? Or and
Speaker 1: when I'm home, I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 3: No, I worry about stuff all the time, really yeah,
Speaker 3: And and uh, and things do haunt me?
Speaker 6: I do? I do?
Speaker 3: Really yeah? But I have I have enough experience and
Speaker 3: sufficient boundaries that I don't may not let it infect
Speaker 3: me in the sense like I know what my limitations are.
Speaker 3: I know that I've done all that I can, but
Speaker 3: it's still you know, it affects you.
Speaker 1: Has it Has that been a learning process like earlier
Speaker 1: in your career?
Speaker 3: Do you feel like that was mostly therapy the year,
Speaker 3: years and years and years of really good therapy, and
Speaker 3: my boundaries got very clear with that.
Speaker 1: You know, I have a lot of people who call
Speaker 1: in and they tell me things like, you know, I
Speaker 1: tried talking about this with my real therapist, but they
Speaker 1: feel like they weren't helpful. Do you have any way
Speaker 1: that you I if I if somebody is a good therapist,
Speaker 1: or if you feel like they're a fit for.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, there should be you know, certain letters
Speaker 3: after their name. Ideally you know, l cs, W, s ID, PhD,
Speaker 3: m D, these kinds of things, and they need lots
Speaker 3: of experience, and there needs to be clarity about what
Speaker 3: it is you're doing in therapy and what are your
Speaker 3: goals and what kinds of techniques that are used to
Speaker 3: achieve those goals. Generally, therapists shouldn't be saying very much
Speaker 3: at all about anything.
Speaker 1: They should primarily just be sounding boards.
Speaker 3: They should be reflecting with their face and body emotions
Speaker 3: back to you as like a mirror of the emotions.
Speaker 3: They should be asking challenge and very very strategic questions
Speaker 3: to kind of keep the emotions moving forward. And that's it.
Speaker 3: If therapist is telling you what to do, run, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: not what therapy is.
Speaker 1: You know, I kind of stopped going to therapy because
Speaker 1: I was journaling a lot and I felt like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: this is you know, all therapy is is like sort
Speaker 1: of what you're saying. It is like you're getting reflected about.
Speaker 3: It's everything's for different people. It really is depending what
Speaker 3: The brain is very complicated. It's a brain body that
Speaker 3: you're dealing with in therapy, really, and you know, if
Speaker 3: you can get what you need out of journaling, if
Speaker 3: you can get it from CBT. I mean there's all
Speaker 3: the twelves, there's all kinds of things out there, lots
Speaker 3: of resources, and many people get what they need. They
Speaker 3: find ways to get what they need from it. I
Speaker 3: needed I had, I needed micro surgery. My bodily based
Speaker 3: emotional system was not well connected.
Speaker 1: To my brain, your bodily based emotional feelings. I'm always
Speaker 1: neglecting how much of my mental state is due to
Speaker 1: completely and utterly internal things.
Speaker 3: Correct.
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm constantly.
Speaker 3: It's a brain body. It's a brain body. It's not
Speaker 3: a brain, it's not an emotional it's not a limbic system.
Speaker 3: It's a brain body system. And because I didn't get
Speaker 3: certain stuff growing up, I got it in therapy and
Speaker 3: it connected me back up. And that's some pretty good.
Speaker 3: Now let's talk to Maddie. Think if your calls everybody
Speaker 3: there are good calls Maddie.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hey there, what's up?
Speaker 12: Oh?
Speaker 7: There we go?
Speaker 1: Hi, what's up, Maddie?
Speaker 3: How you doing?
Speaker 1: How can we get you this evening?
Speaker 17: I'm good tonight. You know, I was wondering, what's the
Speaker 17: statute of limitations on opening a snapchat?
Speaker 1: The statue of limitations? So, I mean it says here
Speaker 1: that you're struggling on getting back to people in a
Speaker 1: timely manner.
Speaker 17: Yes, definitely.
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice on cause I'm start dealing
Speaker 1: with this too.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not understating the question at all. I
Speaker 3: feel like, what did she say?
Speaker 1: I My read on this is, Maddie. It sounds like
Speaker 1: you're getting overwhelmed with the fact that your phone is
Speaker 1: constantly calling upon you to answer it, and you're wondering
Speaker 1: the the boundaries you should set in that arena. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: Oh, it depends on who it is in the relationship
Speaker 3: with that person.
Speaker 1: Who who is there somebody in particular that.
Speaker 17: This is this is going on with, not in particular.
Speaker 17: There are like a couple of people like who have
Speaker 17: been messaging me, and it's like, oh.
Speaker 4: Like maybe I'll get around to opening this.
Speaker 17: Maybe not, but it's it's not really dependent on the.
Speaker 2: Relationship as much as my own anxiety with opening it
Speaker 2: and what I'm going to respond right away?
Speaker 3: But but what kind of these peers are these? Your parents?
Speaker 8: Is it?
Speaker 3: You know? Bill collectors?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 17: Definitely like definitely like acquaintances of mine, like people I'm
Speaker 17: friendly with, but people who I don't have that kind
Speaker 17: of like relationship with.
Speaker 3: That's a right, That is a great question. I don't
Speaker 3: I don't think people my age understand it at all.
Speaker 3: I mean, you used to be the you know, anybody
Speaker 3: under thirty is sort of fluid in this stuff. I uh,
Speaker 3: you probably have a lot of feelings about it. I
Speaker 3: My thing is like, I just why are you bothering me?
Speaker 8: What? You know?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 10: You know?
Speaker 3: You don't really want me to respond? I hate texting?
Speaker 3: Is this on texting? We're talking about? Gotta hate texting?
Speaker 1: She's just talk about snapped. You do a lot of
Speaker 1: snap chatting, doctor Drew.
Speaker 3: No, no snap. And I just discovered that I had
Speaker 3: I had a a request thing in Instagram. H yeah,
Speaker 3: there were there were ten thousand comments there.
Speaker 1: You just found your Instagram message request. Yes, yeah, there's
Speaker 1: like a whole bunch of I mean, dude, you can't
Speaker 1: get lost in like I'm always getting lost in my
Speaker 1: d ms on Twitter, yeah, on on Instagram and stuff,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Instagram.
Speaker 3: One is just I just discovered. I feel like I've
Speaker 3: walked into parallel universe.
Speaker 1: Well know when you're saying like people under you know,
Speaker 1: when you said people over thirty like you.
Speaker 3: Know it's serious.
Speaker 1: Well, I I'm jealous of that peace of mind because
Speaker 1: I feel like I never have that. I feel like
Speaker 1: Maddie doesn't have that. We're like, oh, somebody responds Maddie, Maddie,
Speaker 1: here's my thing, Maddie. And I've gotten used to this too.
Speaker 1: Be Okay, you can leave people on red. Just get
Speaker 1: get start to enjoy the piece that you gain when
Speaker 1: you just leave people on red.
Speaker 3: Can you read the unready unseen?
Speaker 5: Good?
Speaker 3: Okay, good? Yeah?
Speaker 12: I like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. The the immediacy of responsing. And I you know,
Speaker 3: because when I was practicing medicine fourteen hours a day,
Speaker 3: I would get pages that was back in the pages
Speaker 3: and I'd have to respond immediately, immediately, And so I
Speaker 3: still behave like that with texts. Do you respond to
Speaker 3: every text a meeting immediately and it's and it's an
Speaker 3: immediate I have a reaction every time, too, like what
Speaker 3: is it?
Speaker 8: You know?
Speaker 3: Because I spent so many years doing that and I
Speaker 3: hate it.
Speaker 1: Do you respond to your Twitter dms and things like that?
Speaker 3: My Twitter dms is a is a pretty lean territory.
Speaker 3: For some reason, I do because it's all people. I
Speaker 3: kind of know it's I don't. I don't, I don't,
Speaker 3: I don't, I don't have just anybody in there. But
Speaker 3: it's clearly my Instagram. I've got to do something with that.
Speaker 3: I don't know quite how to manage that, you.
Speaker 1: Know, Maddie. My thing is like if you, first of all,
Speaker 1: if you don't care about these people, then leave them
Speaker 1: on red. If you don't care about them, But if
Speaker 1: you do care about them, then they should respect your
Speaker 1: boundaries enough to be like, I'm not getting upset with
Speaker 1: you for leaving right. You have to train people, Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: you have to train people to be okay with you
Speaker 1: leaving them on read and you can get back to
Speaker 1: them eventually.
Speaker 7: Okay.
Speaker 17: I think how long it's too long to leave them
Speaker 17: on red?
Speaker 1: I don't think there exists an answer to that question.
Speaker 1: I think however long.
Speaker 3: We need an international convention on this. We need a
Speaker 3: Geneva convention.
Speaker 1: Uh, it's just set a to set an objective standard amount.
Speaker 3: I mean, I would say six hours is very reasonable, right,
Speaker 3: fucking never respond to them? Who can? It doesn't That's
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. It could be a day or two
Speaker 3: that and that'd be fine also, But I mean if
Speaker 3: it's six or eight hours, I mean, that's very reasonable.
Speaker 1: I would think the real here's the thing, the people
Speaker 1: in your life, who are the real ones. They'll be
Speaker 1: there when you're ready to talk to them and won't
Speaker 1: be upset by you leaving them on red.
Speaker 3: Right? What are you doing your dishes? Building, building a cabinet.
Speaker 2: My dog is playing with his bone.
Speaker 1: You know what, go to Here's what I want you
Speaker 1: to do. Turn your phone off, throw it into a river,
Speaker 1: Go hang out with your dad, Look him in the eye,
Speaker 1: smell him, talk to somebody, give him a hug, feel
Speaker 1: his his.
Speaker 3: This is back to the brain body thing, ye is.
Speaker 3: That's how people communicate in space, like two bodies in space.
Speaker 3: Very important.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, Maddie.
Speaker 14: Yeah, of course, thank you. Have a good night.
Speaker 3: You two.
Speaker 1: A life before cell phones sound sounds like it's an
Speaker 1: I mean I I sort of grew up with all
Speaker 1: that shit.
Speaker 3: It was better having a cell phone, for sure, because
Speaker 3: you weren't running, at least in my professional running for
Speaker 3: a phone all the time it's terrible. But smartphones put
Speaker 3: it to a whole different new wrinkle into it. I
Speaker 3: love having emails. If people would just stick with emails,
Speaker 3: I'd be okay, But no one.
Speaker 1: So you say you have this like a thing when
Speaker 1: like every time, okay, but so how many times? Okay,
Speaker 1: how many times? Like I feel like after so many times,
Speaker 1: if somebody texting you, you go, you check it. You
Speaker 1: realize it's like a bullshit thing, somebody sending you a video?
Speaker 1: Just whatever, do you do?
Speaker 7: Not go?
Speaker 1: Do not lose the thing? After a while, after it's happened.
Speaker 3: So many times, it's it's it's not just the buzz
Speaker 3: makes me go yeah, because it's it's so in me
Speaker 3: from the pagers. They used to do the same thing,
Speaker 3: and when it would buzz, it would be an emergency
Speaker 3: every time, or something needed to be addressed immediately.
Speaker 1: But now how often when you when you feel the buzz,
Speaker 1: is it? Yeah? But I still have the you haven't
Speaker 1: you haven't been able to.
Speaker 3: Learn it, and the reaction is still there. And and
Speaker 3: then I and I still do this thing of getting
Speaker 3: to it very fast. I get to it really quickly
Speaker 3: because I feel like, you know, if you're texting me,
Speaker 3: you must want to have a response, That's why you're texting.
Speaker 3: Otherwise you'd email me or whatever, a phone call o CD.
Speaker 3: I mean, you have a little OCD. So I'm very
Speaker 3: compulsive about everything.
Speaker 1: So do you always us keep a you keep inbox
Speaker 1: zero as they call it.
Speaker 3: It's all read in inbox and it's sort of managed,
Speaker 3: sort of to sort of collid and stuff. And then
Speaker 3: I shrink it down every once in a while. But
Speaker 3: but and my wife has, you know, in an inbox
Speaker 3: with one hundred and five thousand unread emails and I
Speaker 3: can't even look at it. I can't look at her
Speaker 3: little phone that read. It drives me crazy.
Speaker 1: But I mean, oh, with emails, it's like that's bullshit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's o c D.
Speaker 1: Though, let's see what we got going on here.
Speaker 3: It's a a hard one or this one right intense? Good?
Speaker 1: Hey Dominic, Yes, hey guys, hey Dominic, how you doing man?
Speaker 18: Excellent? Very good?
Speaker 1: Uh, Dominic? It says here that you want to know
Speaker 1: what is normal in a relationship. You feel like your
Speaker 1: wife is a sexual You've been with here for thirty years.
Speaker 1: You're wondering if that's just a natural thing, or if
Speaker 1: it happens after several years of marriage. What you want
Speaker 1: to explain this in your own words?
Speaker 18: Okay, Well, yeah, I mean I feel like I mean,
Speaker 18: when I first met her, I was sixteen years old,
Speaker 18: and you know, she was wasn't really into sex. She
Speaker 18: was a vision at the time, and I thought, well,
Speaker 18: you know, it's obviously that's you know, and that seems
Speaker 18: like a normal thing to not really be into sex
Speaker 18: with your virsion of your kind of you know, you're
Speaker 18: a young woman, and you grew up in a you know,
Speaker 18: a wast household, so you know, I wasn't too worried
Speaker 18: about it. But as time went on, you know, we
Speaker 18: got married, had kids, and just never really was uh.
Speaker 18: I wouldn't talk about sex, didn't want to, you know,
Speaker 18: engage in a whole lot unless it was for you know,
Speaker 18: trying to have children, and so you know, it's.
Speaker 12: Been going on.
Speaker 18: And then a few years ago, my sister, uh said
Speaker 18: to me, she said, do you think he's being manipulated.
Speaker 18: And I never really even considered she she asked if
Speaker 18: I was being manipulated and I never and and I
Speaker 18: never considered that. And then you know, and I said,
Speaker 18: you know, you know she wants to do things I
Speaker 18: want to you know, want her to be happy because
Speaker 18: I want her to have a life, because uh, I mean,
Speaker 18: she did suffer some trauma in her childhood. I mean
Speaker 18: her her father wasn't like, you know, excessively abusive, but
Speaker 18: you know he would he was very strict and wouldn't
Speaker 18: allow her to do things that other kids could do
Speaker 18: and stuff like that, and had you know, her child
Speaker 18: was very kind of rigid or she had to work
Speaker 18: a lot, and you know, there was some physical view.
Speaker 18: Like I said, it was an excessive the point was
Speaker 18: like every single day, but it was like, you know,
Speaker 18: I had to act a certain way and do certain
Speaker 18: things a certain way.
Speaker 3: All right. So what if we talked to her, if
Speaker 3: we hang on, hang on, if it's what's his name?
Speaker 1: Dominic?
Speaker 3: Dominic dominic? If we if we talked to her, what
Speaker 3: would she say? What would she say about your relationship?
Speaker 3: Physical relationship? I said, what's the what's your wife's name?
Speaker 3: They're gonna make up a name. I don't care. What
Speaker 3: do you want to? Oh right, okay. So if I said, Marie,
Speaker 3: what's going on? How do you know what's going with
Speaker 3: you and your husband? Are you guys close? Do you
Speaker 3: have do you have a good physical relationship? What would
Speaker 3: she say?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 18: Well, she would say we have a good relationship, all right?
Speaker 3: And what about the physical part?
Speaker 18: What she said, they're not no, no, not really a
Speaker 18: physical part.
Speaker 3: And would she say would she say I missed that,
Speaker 3: or we had it at one time, or I'd rather
Speaker 3: be this way. What would her position be?
Speaker 18: You think, Oh, no, she would not miss it at all.
Speaker 8: She's she's definitely.
Speaker 18: Doesn't miss it. I mean, there wasn't really a major
Speaker 18: physical relationship at any point in our relationship. I just
Speaker 18: thought as she got older, maybe that would you know, she.
Speaker 3: Would mature And it usually it usually gets worse unless
Speaker 3: you take hormone therapy things like that, because you have
Speaker 3: to say, you know, menopause. Perimenopause says to shut you know.
Speaker 3: Testosterone is produced by the ovaries, that's the major source
Speaker 3: of libido, and you have to get on some kind
Speaker 3: of vestrogen, tiestosterone, progesterone, kind of replacement has its own risk.
Speaker 3: You have to discuss it with your doctor. But you
Speaker 3: know a lot of women need that in order to
Speaker 3: continue to be sexual after a certain age. So you're
Speaker 3: now fighting biology on top of whatever was going on
Speaker 3: in the first place. I don't know, you sound unhappy
Speaker 3: with what's going on.
Speaker 18: Well, I mean I'm not unhappy with the relationship. Necessarily.
Speaker 18: It bothers me because one time she said to me,
Speaker 18: you know, she doesn't think that she can ever experience
Speaker 18: the feeling that I feel during a sexual during sexual intercourse,
Speaker 18: and you know, they really really hit me hard.
Speaker 3: Does that mean she's never had an orgasm? No, No,
Speaker 3: she has. Okay, I just not. But at least she
Speaker 3: just doesn't. She just dods have the intensity of experience.
Speaker 3: So I don't know, you know, we're not gonna be
Speaker 3: able to solve that here, that's for sure. Yeah, right,
Speaker 3: But I I if it was bothering me, I sit
Speaker 3: down and talk to somebody about it with her.
Speaker 18: Not it doesn't it doesn't sound like. It doesn't sound
Speaker 18: like a situation where I'm being manipulated by her, where
Speaker 18: she's just like using sex as like a tool to like,
Speaker 18: you know, it's just because she has a little libido,
Speaker 18: so she uses that as something way to manipulate me.
Speaker 3: You don't know that, that's nothing you've said to me
Speaker 3: sounds like that at all. Uh and uh and but
Speaker 3: you know you you want to be closer, and that's it.
Speaker 3: You just want to be closer. And there's a physical
Speaker 3: piece that could help you be closer. And you know
Speaker 3: she might not be willing to work on it. Maybe
Speaker 3: she is, but it's something you could definitely work with
Speaker 3: a professional on, somebody who has experienced doing that kind
Speaker 3: of thing. Okay, okay, sorry, good luck, Thanks Dominic. All right,
Speaker 3: see what the dog's barking and stuff? I was imagine?
Speaker 3: Where is he West Virginia?
Speaker 1: I could see Nebraska for him. So have you had
Speaker 1: any experience like couples counseling? Is that ever anything you
Speaker 1: do in your practice?
Speaker 3: We've done that? Oh my practice? Oh sure, oh sure, sure?
Speaker 3: Have I been a patient in that that? Also?
Speaker 1: Now, at what point does the what is the goal?
Speaker 1: I've wondered this because whenever I get a call like that,
Speaker 1: I always wonder, like, is the goal of the couple's
Speaker 1: counsel to fix the relationship or to find the truth?
Speaker 1: Even if the truth is these people should not be
Speaker 1: together this.
Speaker 3: Most good couples therapists will start with those kinds of
Speaker 3: questions like what are we doing here?
Speaker 1: Oh, so they ask them, They're like, do you guys
Speaker 1: want you want to waste it?
Speaker 3: Are we trying to right? Are we trying to break
Speaker 3: up here? Or are we committed and want to stay together?
Speaker 3: Most people that by the time to get the couple's
Speaker 3: therapy are sort of on the way out and uh,
Speaker 3: and they got to get very very honest about that stuff,
Speaker 3: so the therapists can do the job, whatever the job is,
Speaker 3: and it was to make things closer than those different
Speaker 3: versions of that too, or you know, how honest are
Speaker 3: we willing to be here? You know? And uh, you
Speaker 3: know it's it's it's a it's a I like emotionally
Speaker 3: focused therapies of all types, whether it's couples are individual therapy,
Speaker 3: because it's really just supporting people where they are and
Speaker 3: letting them express themselves emotionally more.
Speaker 1: And do you find in your experience that most people
Speaker 1: go the route of, you know, please help us fix
Speaker 1: this versus most people are like.
Speaker 3: Hey, don't I don't do enough for that stuff. But
Speaker 3: I've been told by a couple therapy people that just
Speaker 3: do that that that's the case I do. I'm doing
Speaker 3: it always in the context of drug addiction, alcoholic So
Speaker 3: it's it's trying to get people to hear each other
Speaker 3: for the first time in a long time often, and
Speaker 3: I mean, does that get wild? Yeah, it can be wild. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's very intense. I'm I deal with very very very
Speaker 3: sick people. That's yeah.
Speaker 1: Thing, yea, how do you I've asked you this question
Speaker 1: a bunch of times in various forms and maybe it's
Speaker 1: just me, maybe just me, like how the do you
Speaker 1: deal with that?
Speaker 3: Why did you go home? Upset? And stuff? Again? It's
Speaker 3: it's it's it's kind of like being an ambulance driver
Speaker 3: or something. You have a you have a skill set,
Speaker 3: You drive up to the disaster and you help to
Speaker 3: the best of your ability. That's all you can do.
Speaker 3: And some of the stuff stays with you. Some of
Speaker 3: it is just interesting. You know, is there a.
Speaker 1: Call or or anything like that that has stuck with
Speaker 1: you to this time?
Speaker 3: People always ask us that stuff. I remember a couple
Speaker 3: of Vietnamese twins that were separated when they were little.
Speaker 3: One went to Denver. One went to the Orange County
Speaker 3: here in locally or something and went from Denver called
Speaker 3: us because the one here was being sexually abused and
Speaker 3: we tried to help intervene with that. Had a guy
Speaker 3: named Brutus. It was having no no, his name was,
Speaker 3: can't remember his name. His dog was named Brutus, and
Speaker 3: he was engaged with his dog.
Speaker 1: He engaged to his dog.
Speaker 3: Well, he was having sexual relations with the dog. Specifically,
Speaker 3: the dog was having sex with him.
Speaker 1: The dog was having sex.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and that was weird. Uh, But I learned
Speaker 3: a lot about zoophilia. I tried to stay up and
Speaker 3: minded about him because we kept him on the line
Speaker 3: for like an hour and just talked to him because
Speaker 3: he was, like you could tell he was quite serious.
Speaker 1: About any any big takeaways from about.
Speaker 3: My sense was that that there was a lot of
Speaker 3: early childhood severe neglect, so like an attachment disorder kind
Speaker 3: of thing. So he attached to a dog or a person.
Speaker 3: What's the difference is there?
Speaker 1: Always?
Speaker 12: Is there?
Speaker 1: Is there always an answer?
Speaker 3: Is it? Is it ever?
Speaker 1: Just this guy likes to have sex with giraffes and
Speaker 1: that's it and you cannot explain it?
Speaker 3: Well, yes, sure, sometimes it's just I mean, just like anything,
Speaker 3: it's it's just sometimes in the brain just but you know,
Speaker 3: so there's is always you know, biological, genetic, and environment.
Speaker 3: It's all the interplay, but it's never all one. Well
Speaker 3: it's rare. It's always combo. They may predominate genetic or
Speaker 3: predominate environment, but it's always that relationship that results in
Speaker 3: the whatever we're looking at. Gene environment interaction.
Speaker 1: Gene environment interaction. Hey, Kelly, they got the stream key,
Speaker 1: Can you're on the stream off for me?
Speaker 14: Yeah, we got it.
Speaker 1: Kelly uh says here that your boyfriend has a rectile
Speaker 1: dysfunction and you're not sure how to approach.
Speaker 3: Him about it.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is one you've.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is all that time. I'm actually going to
Speaker 3: be working with a men's health organization to try to
Speaker 3: make this a more complete conversation more often. So how
Speaker 3: old is he he is in his thirties, and does
Speaker 3: is he any medication.
Speaker 7: He is not?
Speaker 3: And how often does this happen? Is it all the time?
Speaker 7: Is it some of the time, it's all the time?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And is it that can he penetrate or he loses
Speaker 3: it before he penetrates, or he loses it after a while.
Speaker 3: At what point does he lose it?
Speaker 7: Pretty much he loses it after a while.
Speaker 19: And I'm not sure it's completely ED or if it's
Speaker 19: maybe a head thing or maybe a combination of both.
Speaker 7: Will how to open that conversation.
Speaker 3: What do you suspect the head thing is? When you
Speaker 3: say a head.
Speaker 19: Thing, Well, he hasn't been in a lot of relationships
Speaker 19: in his life. I was the first person that he
Speaker 19: was with in his thirties, I think it was nineties,
Speaker 19: and he was not a very extionate person in the
Speaker 19: beginning of the relationship.
Speaker 7: Really hasn't been so.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Interesting And when you ask him what what the deal is?
Speaker 3: What does he say?
Speaker 7: I mean, he's pretty talking about it.
Speaker 19: I always have to suggest or ask things because I
Speaker 19: don't want to damage maybe his masculinity. I know that's
Speaker 19: kind of a sensitive subject for some guys.
Speaker 3: Wait, what does he say when when he's what's his
Speaker 3: explanation for what's happening?
Speaker 19: Really he just says TD. Some days he says he's
Speaker 19: just in it, sat about it. But even before that
Speaker 19: was just the ED and he couldn't perform. So I
Speaker 19: don't know if it's just getting worse what.
Speaker 3: What does he say is the reason he's struggling? Does
Speaker 3: he think, does he think about some explanation? Does he say, Oh,
Speaker 3: it's I'm tired, or it's too long, or it's too sensitive.
Speaker 3: What does he say? What is your sort of description
Speaker 3: of the issue.
Speaker 7: Well, a definite cause for why it's happening.
Speaker 3: So he goes, I don't know, it just happens. Is
Speaker 3: that that's his thing?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Pretty much? Okay, so it maybe just maybe what.
Speaker 7: Maybe just getting older and not exercise as much.
Speaker 3: I guess is he overweight?
Speaker 7: He's not.
Speaker 3: Okay, so he's not that much older. If you're over
Speaker 3: sixty five, well we could talk about it. But in
Speaker 3: his he's in his thirties, right, yeah, yeah, it's not that. However,
Speaker 3: does he smoke cigarettes?
Speaker 7: No, he does not.
Speaker 3: Well, he still ought to talk to a doctor because
Speaker 3: most young males, middle aged males that have wrecked on dysfunction,
Speaker 3: there's a medical reason and so he needs a thorough
Speaker 3: complete medical workup, heart disease being number one, or vascular
Speaker 3: disease of all types. But there can be hormonal problems,
Speaker 3: there can be neurological but there can be lots of
Speaker 3: stuff that is contributing to this problem, and it needs
Speaker 3: to be fully evaluated. So numero uno, complete medical work
Speaker 3: up and some of the stuff that can cause erect
Speaker 3: a disfunction. It's kind of serious and needs to know
Speaker 3: about it. So numerouno, that's number one. Number two, you
Speaker 3: what well not to go, not not to go to
Speaker 3: evaluate his erectile dysfunction, to evaluate the potential causes, what
Speaker 3: medical causes might be might be contributing here that could
Speaker 3: be dangerous, and he needs to know about it, Diabetes,
Speaker 3: all kinds of stuff, so that that has to happen.
Speaker 3: Number two, Younger men are typically kind of younger than
Speaker 3: thirties when they have erecti dysfunctioned. It is very common
Speaker 3: these days, and it is often from porn excess. Guys
Speaker 3: are losing their chi to the pornographic material and it's
Speaker 3: getting worse.
Speaker 1: You can go inside the metaverse and you know, fuck
Speaker 1: a pocket pussy that you know corresponds with some sort
Speaker 1: of you know, I mean, it's only going to get progressed.
Speaker 3: It's going to get that way, but if it's not already,
Speaker 3: But but you know, men are losing their cheat, depleting
Speaker 3: their chi to the metaverse. Yes, and I don't think
Speaker 3: that's what's going on here, but just for other people listening,
Speaker 3: that's another reason for younger men to get this thing
Speaker 3: and almost don't matter what the cause, once the medical
Speaker 3: issues have been ironed out, using a PDE five inhibitor,
Speaker 3: these you know, medicines that we're used to using for
Speaker 3: rectile dysfunction can kind of get them back a little bit.
Speaker 3: There's no problem using those medication, you know, even if
Speaker 3: people that don't have chronic need for them or aren't
Speaker 3: very much older with whatever medical issues. It can be
Speaker 3: a way to get over anxiety. Like if somebody has
Speaker 3: anxiety then they worry that it's going to happen again,
Speaker 3: Get on the PDE five and you be more likely
Speaker 3: to happen. You'll just sort of get over the anxiety.
Speaker 3: The other thing is if the erectile dysfunction occurs early,
Speaker 3: particularly more often than not, again, particularly with the younger males,
Speaker 3: it's because not because he's not into you, it's because
Speaker 3: he's two into really, yes, it's the guys are have
Speaker 3: sex because they want to be there. So they want
Speaker 3: to be there, trust me, or they would not be there.
Speaker 3: But if they lose the direction early and they tell
Speaker 3: you it's I'm too into you. That is the truth.
Speaker 3: It creates such an overwhelming desire to please and to
Speaker 3: be a part of this, and they're so taken with
Speaker 3: this person.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's like a stress thing.
Speaker 3: It's an anxiety kind of an anxiety thing. It's certainly
Speaker 3: being overwhelmed by it, like.
Speaker 1: A performance anxiety type.
Speaker 3: It's kind of it's all these things together, it's all
Speaker 3: that together. Yeah, yeah, you what.
Speaker 7: I hear a lot.
Speaker 19: I think that could definitely part of it, because he
Speaker 19: does tell me often you know, it's not you, it's
Speaker 19: you know, it's not you. So but if it's not me,
Speaker 19: then what is it?
Speaker 3: Well? Right? And it it rarely is the female partner
Speaker 3: when men ever tell this function like that's that's that's
Speaker 3: the exception when that happens.
Speaker 1: You said specifically that you're having problems approaching him about it.
Speaker 1: What about what is making you nervous about starting the conversation.
Speaker 19: Because I know that you know, subjects like that, especially
Speaker 19: involving their feeling parts, can maybe be a little I
Speaker 19: don't know.
Speaker 7: I don't want to hurt his He's a very sensitive man, so.
Speaker 19: I don't want to approach that in the wrong way,
Speaker 19: especially because I'm not good at explaining myself.
Speaker 7: He'd be a little abrasive.
Speaker 3: You know you're a little abrasive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well we don't.
Speaker 3: I don't experience her that way. But anyway, let's say
Speaker 3: you are. Don't worry. You're not going to offend him.
Speaker 3: He knows he's having it right down as far as
Speaker 3: he wants to solve it too, You're not. By talking
Speaker 3: about it, You're not going to somehow make it worse.
Speaker 1: I almost feel like that makes it better because if
Speaker 1: you start the because he he might want to start
Speaker 1: the conversation, but you going out there starting at first,
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, you know, Okay, she knows, we both know,
Speaker 1: we both want to fix the issue.
Speaker 3: Yeah, men men generally aim to please. It's generally true
Speaker 3: about men.
Speaker 1: He's down to work it out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's that?
Speaker 1: I think she said? Why does and you put more
Speaker 1: effort into place? I think that's what he said.
Speaker 3: Well, more effort would be getting a medical evaluation. Really,
Speaker 3: that's what he needs to do. He really, really really
Speaker 3: needs to do that.
Speaker 1: Kelly, good luck to you and starting this conversation again.
Speaker 1: It seems like both parties want to get to the
Speaker 1: to the brunt of this issue. So take your best
Speaker 1: foot forward.
Speaker 3: Go for it. Yeah, so I'm floating in the clouds. Sorry,
Speaker 3: I get what's with the floating in the clouds?
Speaker 1: What's with the floating in the clouds?
Speaker 3: Geckos don't normally live in the cloud do they?
Speaker 12: Oh?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sort of like the whole idea is we're traveling,
Speaker 1: you know, all sort of parts of the universe.
Speaker 3: So today we're in the traveling.
Speaker 1: No, we're not necessarily time traveling, but we're traveling. We're
Speaker 1: just traveling, just travel traveling.
Speaker 3: We're in the you know, sometimes we're I have a
Speaker 3: hanker and for flies. Does that have something to do
Speaker 3: with putting this?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh and that's gonna last for a
Speaker 1: few days, a few.
Speaker 3: Days side effect. And then the gecko's sexuality.
Speaker 1: Are they Are they sexually active?
Speaker 3: We know how they do it or what's going on
Speaker 3: with them? I feel like very concerned about that.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, I feel like echoes are just as
Speaker 1: sexually active as humans.
Speaker 3: Do they?
Speaker 6: Is it?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: Good?
Speaker 3: Do they have a kloaca or the penis and a vagina? Penises?
Speaker 1: And I actually I feel like I lay eggs.
Speaker 3: Is maybe just like the eggs and put his stuff
Speaker 3: over the egg.
Speaker 1: The gecko penis in relation to uh so, like obviously
Speaker 1: a a a if you a gecko penis is smaller
Speaker 1: than a human penis. But if we're putting them to
Speaker 1: scale to the body, the gecko penis is actually bigger.
Speaker 3: Oh I feel much better.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, So I mean like when you put them
Speaker 1: to in comparison to the rest of the body, the.
Speaker 3: Are they doing sort of doggy gecko style?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 1: They do it all different ways. They do it doggy style, Missonario.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so I was worrying about these things.
Speaker 1: Gecko sixty nine ing it was very popular in the
Speaker 1: community with that tongue, can do it across the room.
Speaker 1: Oh exactly. I mean you know they have the sticky
Speaker 1: actually know, like I actually know only one fact about geckos, okay,
Speaker 1: truly that they can stick to any surface except teflon.
Speaker 3: Oh why that is why it's made to be non
Speaker 3: stick I mean to be fair, ok, all right, they
Speaker 3: were all around the let's see, you ever wanted to
Speaker 3: do the insurance job for Geico?
Speaker 1: I get I get that. A lot of people asking
Speaker 1: me like, oh, you're the Geico gek. A lot a
Speaker 1: lot of people think I'm a frog.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the thing. I get the frog asked the
Speaker 3: set up here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And I don't know how to sort of
Speaker 1: make myself stand out as more of a gecko than
Speaker 1: a frog.
Speaker 3: I would say that there's sort of there's sort of
Speaker 3: some sort of what's the word I'm looking for when
Speaker 3: you're you're being cast out from a job and you
Speaker 3: can't pigeonholed, But I mean having a cartoon gecko. I
Speaker 3: mean that seems like there should be some legalities there.
Speaker 3: You should be able to apply for that job.
Speaker 1: Yes, you know what I mean, Yes, they should. They
Speaker 1: should open it up to all forms of screminatory. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 3: And so I would think and think about sweet that
Speaker 3: job would be. I mean great, you'd be great at it.
Speaker 1: I would, I would, I would do one off. I
Speaker 1: don't think I would want to like be the new
Speaker 1: guy code guy. I mean, that's that's a whole you know,
Speaker 1: then everything it's a little bit of corporate.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't do that. You don't I get that.
Speaker 1: That's a whole, that's the whole thing, right, sure enough,
Speaker 1: Hey Clarence, Yes, Sir Clarence says, here you have a
Speaker 1: a pooping related question.
Speaker 8: Sure, I do actually have a pooping related question.
Speaker 3: You call this a brown question in your mom's house.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you know that there's a word
Speaker 1: for this, because.
Speaker 3: The first I just gonna say, try it out, you know,
Speaker 3: try say he's he's from your mom's house. Try it out,
Speaker 3: Try it out. That's a that's a that's a greeting
Speaker 3: from your mom's house.
Speaker 1: Try it out. Try what's the what's the story behind that?
Speaker 8: The original the original cool guy o G.
Speaker 3: Cool Guy, Robert Paul Champagne. I went and visited him
Speaker 3: in New York City in his apartment, which was quite
Speaker 3: an experience, I must say, But hey, Jeans, what's going
Speaker 3: on mommy?
Speaker 8: So my thing is is like with my pooping is
Speaker 8: that I tend to poop a lot and then sometimes
Speaker 8: I don't. But like it's it's strange because I say, well,
Speaker 8: full disclosure in the morning. If I eat something at night,
Speaker 8: I can see it, and I'm just like worried about
Speaker 8: my digestive system. I mean, I guess I'm who, I'm
Speaker 8: real skinny in my whole life. I don't know if
Speaker 8: that has something to do with it.
Speaker 3: So it's something about the transit time through your bowels.
Speaker 3: You're not absorbing things quite as well as efficiently as
Speaker 3: you might. Like, I wouldn't worry about it. You know,
Speaker 3: if you if you had an actual absorption issue of
Speaker 3: fats or proteins or something, you would have other symptoms. Maybe,
Speaker 3: you know, it's consider yourself lucky. Whatever it is. It
Speaker 3: keeps you skinny, increase your calories, increase your you know,
Speaker 3: amount of food, and you'll compensate for that. But but
Speaker 3: is that the brown issue.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean, it's just like it's But the thing
Speaker 8: too that also happens is the notice is if I,
Speaker 8: like on the weekends when I'm not working, I tend
Speaker 8: to eat overeat, and then it'll be like Monday morning
Speaker 8: and I'll poop like four or five times in the morning. Okay,
Speaker 8: and we're talking normal poops four or five times within
Speaker 8: like a two hour period. That blows my mind.
Speaker 3: That's all good, Yo, Yeah, you're fine. You should listen
Speaker 3: to after Dark what that I do when one of
Speaker 3: my uh, one of the people that in the in
Speaker 3: the one of my engineers.
Speaker 8: You mean, the gargoyle.
Speaker 3: The gargoyle yes, good, you listen, well done. He's doing
Speaker 3: once a month, dude, he's once once once a month.
Speaker 8: It makes no sense.
Speaker 1: Wild and you're and you're telling me that's that's healthy.
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't say it's healthy. But everyone's worried about him.
Speaker 3: He's fine with it, but there's things that could happen,
Speaker 3: but he won't address it. So, you know, I would
Speaker 3: think that there is some sort of No, he does it,
Speaker 3: he does it for psychological reasons.
Speaker 1: Oh he wait, so he's he's doing this intentionally on purpose?
Speaker 3: How does and then when he does ship, yes, he
Speaker 3: puts his feet tell him I'll let I'll let.
Speaker 8: Clarence. So when he when he his monthly bowel movement,
Speaker 8: he stands, he puts the seat up, stands on the
Speaker 8: rim the toilet itself and on the rim and squats.
Speaker 3: It down like a gargo exactly. He's hovering above the toilet.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's pretty and I feel that on a spiritual
Speaker 8: level though, like with the whole it thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 8: My dad had no filter back in the day, and
Speaker 8: I was in third grade and he rented that movie
Speaker 8: and I watched it by myself in the middle of
Speaker 8: the country in the pitch Black.
Speaker 3: I am to this day, Clarence, and and he separated
Speaker 3: at birth. Well, nice to meet you, Clarence, to.
Speaker 12: Meet you too.
Speaker 8: Better believe him coming up in me.
Speaker 3: You better believe it. Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 1: Okay, you said he does this for psychological reasons.
Speaker 3: That's what Clarence was talking about. He saw the movie It,
Speaker 3: and he became and he was kind of traumatized as
Speaker 3: a kid, and he became overwhelmed not just by it,
Speaker 3: but other shit going on his life, and he became
Speaker 3: overwhelmingly preoccupied with that something was going to come up
Speaker 3: out of the toilet drain ah ah.
Speaker 1: That's why he stands up so that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's also why he avoids the toilet. And
Speaker 3: so he became really good at controlling his bowels, and
Speaker 3: he's he's Ninja with his bowels.
Speaker 1: Now, now what about peeting? Is that better? Because he
Speaker 1: can see what's.
Speaker 3: In front of gees? So he doesn't have thing with
Speaker 3: that doesn't everything with being It doesn't seem like it.
Speaker 3: You gotta listen to my podcast.
Speaker 1: I was listening today.
Speaker 3: Did that one after dark?
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 1: No, I was what's the most recent when.
Speaker 3: You were you you did? It depends what I've got
Speaker 3: different stuff. You probably did a streaming show. Was probably
Speaker 3: just playing with streaming.
Speaker 1: I listened to a streaming show.
Speaker 12: I did, I did, I did.
Speaker 1: I did my research a little bit. I know you're
Speaker 1: a doctor.
Speaker 3: That's good guide. You knew that. Excellent.
Speaker 1: Hello Alex, Hi Alex, Alex, were Alex doing good? It
Speaker 1: says here that you want some dating advice. You've been
Speaker 1: talking to a guy for a month and he seems
Speaker 1: very reserved. It seems like you're wondering, like is it
Speaker 1: me or is it him? What should I do about
Speaker 1: this type of thing?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 14: So I actually hit him up and we talked almost
Speaker 14: every day, like all day for a couple of weeks,
Speaker 14: and then we hung out. And after that it went
Speaker 14: from like every day to once a day or not
Speaker 14: even that.
Speaker 1: I don't know what should hang out every day? And
Speaker 1: then it went to wait a minute, so you said
Speaker 1: you were texting like all day and then it slowed
Speaker 1: down to once a day.
Speaker 14: Yeah, after we hung out.
Speaker 1: I I have a thing of like when there's games
Speaker 1: going on, it's like forget it, fucking forget it, to
Speaker 1: get it, forget it. I really truly believe that like
Speaker 1: people either will or they won't.
Speaker 3: And it's all aspect the males. If they want to
Speaker 3: be with you, they let you know they they want
Speaker 3: to be with you.
Speaker 14: What I'm thinking too, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean there are men that you know, don't
Speaker 3: get that way or sort of or aloof whatever. But
Speaker 3: most men, if they're into you, they're into you, and
Speaker 3: it's obvious. And that's who you want. Know, you want
Speaker 3: guys that are into you, not guys that are half in.
Speaker 3: You want guys that are in and this guy, for
Speaker 3: whatever reason is not so man who knows what the
Speaker 3: reason is, they're his and you just kind of find
Speaker 3: the guy that is into you.
Speaker 11: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean that's another thing where it's like you knows.
Speaker 3: A lot of geckos before you find the right one.
Speaker 1: That turns into a some some sort of royalty. But
Speaker 1: I mean that's the thing is like it could be
Speaker 1: any other I wouldn't want you to get hung up
Speaker 1: on like, oh it's me, because it could be any
Speaker 1: number of miscellaneous reasons.
Speaker 3: Yeah. It to put the locusts on yourself sort of
Speaker 3: put is denying how complex relationships are. Who knows where
Speaker 3: he is in his life, who knows who else he
Speaker 3: might be dating? Who maybe he's who knows what's going
Speaker 3: on in his life, who knows what he's feeling thinking,
Speaker 3: and whether he'd be feeling and thinking something different at
Speaker 3: a different time. Who cares he's not that into you
Speaker 3: right now? That should that should be a concern of yours.
Speaker 14: So yeah, I guess that's kind of what I was wondering,
Speaker 14: because he does he has a good excuse. He has
Speaker 14: a job where he can't talk to me for hours
Speaker 14: at a time.
Speaker 1: Said he has a good excuse, his dogs. He said,
Speaker 1: he has a job, job, job, Well, I mean, I
Speaker 1: mean the excuse, it doesn't even matter. It's like, she's
Speaker 1: twenty four, twenty four?
Speaker 3: Does he take you out all the time?
Speaker 14: No, I actually have been the initiator every time, which
Speaker 14: is why I feel like he's just reserved.
Speaker 1: Alex, are you like what are you looking?
Speaker 3: Why are you?
Speaker 2: Are you?
Speaker 8: Like?
Speaker 1: I am out for a relationship and so you're what
Speaker 1: you're on Tinder and like swiping and like out looking
Speaker 1: for something? Or did this guy just kind of happen
Speaker 1: into your life?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 14: No, So I actually, about seven months ago, got out
Speaker 14: of a really really bad relationship and I had kind
Speaker 14: of sworn it off and then I I was. I
Speaker 14: met him and it's so lame, but like we were
Speaker 14: just talking, Like I was getting embarrassed because I felt
Speaker 14: like I wouldn't shut up because I was so excited
Speaker 14: to talk to him and he was talking to me.
Speaker 14: So I found him on social media and I talked
Speaker 14: to him and I don't want anything.
Speaker 16: I guess, like I'm.
Speaker 14: Still feeling really reserved myself because of the last relationship.
Speaker 1: You do want to know, like how long you've been
Speaker 1: talking to him?
Speaker 3: How long was the last one? Yeah?
Speaker 7: How long was so the last one was?
Speaker 14: How long ago was it? Or how long did it last?
Speaker 3: How long ago did it break up? For real?
Speaker 14: September?
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're still in the sort of reboundary get
Speaker 3: over at phase. I mean, it's about time to have
Speaker 3: a real relationship again. But but I don't know this
Speaker 3: doesn't Does this guy do something very very special for you?
Speaker 3: Is there something about him that you can't find another person?
Speaker 14: No, But I mean that's kind of what I was saying,
Speaker 14: was like I didn't expect to want to talk to
Speaker 14: somebody like this already.
Speaker 3: So for me to have that, you'll you'll you will
Speaker 3: find it again. I will declare today with my get
Speaker 3: go hand, you will find it today again. You will
Speaker 3: find it again. That's that's you wanting to be connected
Speaker 3: to other people. And that's fine. But by the way,
Speaker 3: be careful with that that speed talking, you know, where
Speaker 3: you can't stop talking to somebody. You know what I'm
Speaker 3: talking about. Men don't like Men don't.
Speaker 1: Like that the constant Yeah, well I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean I I don't mind it because I find
Speaker 3: it entertaining, but I know generally men are just.
Speaker 1: The kind of well, well if if that's well, if
Speaker 1: if if she wants that, you know, do you think
Speaker 1: she should find a guy who like that?
Speaker 3: I mean that exists and that guy I like that stuff.
Speaker 3: I likes get that entertaining to just keep going. I
Speaker 3: don't I don't have to talk. It's good. I talk
Speaker 3: for a living. It's turned out.
Speaker 14: Uh, but that's something that I thought about as well,
Speaker 14: of like, maybe he's just not a texture and we
Speaker 14: just texted that much at first.
Speaker 3: You're over thinking it.
Speaker 14: That's the thing.
Speaker 1: If you're if you're even if you're even in this,
Speaker 1: if you're even in this realm of thinking about it
Speaker 1: too much, it's like a fucking you shouldn't have to
Speaker 1: think about this, just you.
Speaker 3: Should enjoy each other.
Speaker 7: That's that I'm too deep, Okay.
Speaker 1: Alex, good luck to you, Thanks for calling.
Speaker 3: Thanks Alex.
Speaker 1: I get a lot of I get a lot of
Speaker 1: calls like that on the show, and I'm always like,
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people.
Speaker 3: Seems like we got a lot of calls a where
Speaker 3: people shitting frequently.
Speaker 1: Saysn't everyone who takes a call in show get a
Speaker 1: bunch of calls where people shouting frequently? Isn't that what
Speaker 1: I'm just saying.
Speaker 3: It's a certain platforms. Yeah, yeah, okay, but go ahead.
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like a lot of people I get
Speaker 1: a sense from them that there's like something missing from
Speaker 1: them or some happiness factor that they are trying to
Speaker 1: use a relationship to fill. And I'm always under the
Speaker 1: I'm always of the mindset of like, you should be
Speaker 1: able to feel complete completely on your own or yeah first, yes,
Speaker 1: then go out into the into the dating market.
Speaker 3: That is true, but very few people are comfortable in
Speaker 3: their own skin, very few people can be alone. Very
Speaker 3: few people, particularly when they're young, are complete. And that's
Speaker 3: that's the process of growing up is trying to bring
Speaker 3: all the pieces together, and uh, yeah, you're right, but
Speaker 3: very few people are there. I mean, they're not calling you.
Speaker 3: Let's put it that way. Those are the ones calling.
Speaker 1: You know what, I always what I guess because a
Speaker 1: lot of you know, people tell me like, I'm pessimistic
Speaker 1: about love and relationships, but I just always see people
Speaker 1: getting like fucked because they're putting like like they need
Speaker 1: it so badly, and that's causing people to be dependent
Speaker 1: on other people instead of just being able to find it.
Speaker 3: With the correct bad boundaries, falling in love too fast,
Speaker 3: you know again, love addiction. You know, people in codependency
Speaker 3: are extremely calmon these days. And what I always tell people,
Speaker 3: if you have a certain pattern, if you have a
Speaker 3: pattern in relationships that you don't like this. This is
Speaker 3: one of my fundamental pieces of advice.
Speaker 1: Fundamentalists.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so if you keep doing something over and over
Speaker 3: again and you can't stop, even though you keep picking
Speaker 3: guys that seem total let's say it's a female, sure,
Speaker 3: picking guys that are totally different, and yet they end
Speaker 3: up the same. Yeah, you are a perfect instrument the
Speaker 3: fact that you were attracted to that person. We don't
Speaker 3: talk about where attractions come from the fact that you
Speaker 3: felt lightning bolts when you saw that person should be
Speaker 3: all you need to know that that will be the
Speaker 3: kind of person that will do the pattern again, because
Speaker 3: you are a perfect instrument. So what we always tell
Speaker 3: people is if you have those patterns and the lightning
Speaker 3: bolts end up the same every time, don't respond to
Speaker 3: the lightning bolts. Think butterflies, not lightning bolts. So you
Speaker 3: can be kind of, you know, nicely attracted, but if
Speaker 3: it's not company with that person, you know what you're
Speaker 3: in for. You're a perfect instrument.
Speaker 1: Butterflies, nothing lightning bolts. I feel like it can be
Speaker 1: hard to tell the difference. Sometimes maybe it is, and
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: Mind a little bit of lightning. You know, it's just
Speaker 3: the you just just know that that's that pattern, and
Speaker 3: you know, you take a look that person's going to
Speaker 3: abandon you or abuse your whatever your pattern is, and
Speaker 3: see if it's somebody that you can have process with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, what do you think about this someone who's like,
Speaker 1: if I'm not feeling those lightning bolts, what a someone
Speaker 1: who's like, those lightning bolts are the reason I get
Speaker 1: into relaicious If I'm not feeling those.
Speaker 3: I have to have lightning bolts. That means therapy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that means therapy. You know, if you're somebody has good
Speaker 3: patterns in your relationships and then you can rely on
Speaker 3: your feelings and your attractions. But if you had something
Speaker 3: that twisted them, abandonment, neglect, abuse, that kind of thing
Speaker 3: in childhood, you got to get that healed. Is it
Speaker 3: always a thing relating to childhood? Oh? Yeah, that's when
Speaker 3: our brain is wired. That's so the wiring gets set up.
Speaker 3: And once it's set up, it is set up. And
Speaker 3: you have to do very very specific things to change
Speaker 3: that wiring. And I gotta go to therapy. Good, you
Speaker 3: like it, It's awesome. This is the big misconception people
Speaker 3: have you. You know again, a good therapist is you're
Speaker 3: in charge, you're conducting, you're you know, you're the one
Speaker 3: in the mirror, developing the process and changing or not
Speaker 3: changing as you wish. And whatever you're getting into, even
Speaker 3: if it's painful material, they will only let you go
Speaker 3: in tolerable doses. Yes, So it's not overwhelming or shattering,
Speaker 3: it's just just what you can tolerate. Just slowly get
Speaker 3: into it. So what your deep in thought, deep in thought,
Speaker 3: Gecko thought.
Speaker 1: Oh, definitely, deep in, deep in, deep in Gecko thought,
Speaker 1: do you do you feel you know, I asked you
Speaker 1: at the beginning of this, But now that you've sort
Speaker 1: of been sitting here for an hour and twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: do you feel any different as a gecko?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: These feelings that we started with humiliation.
Speaker 3: And oh the humiliation went away.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, you're feeling like this went away.
Speaker 3: But I have been humiliated, so it's all done, so
Speaker 3: I have to worry about being further humiliated, which is nice.
Speaker 3: The the pajama quality is almost overwhelming. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 3: want to myself. Oh yeah, the music, that's that's the
Speaker 3: part that's troubling me. I'm yawning occasion, I'm thinking, what
Speaker 3: the hell? What am I doing anything else about this? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Like I said, I feel like I should be uh,
Speaker 3: you know a couple of flies that might be nice
Speaker 3: right now. And I've learned all about how to express
Speaker 3: myself sexually as a great gecko, and this is this
Speaker 3: is improvement.
Speaker 1: You eating crickets before I have actually have, would.
Speaker 3: You think uh too, garl cave for me, Yeah, I'd
Speaker 3: rather have some fresh cricket. I think especially now, Now,
Speaker 3: did the gecko tongue stick the way the gecko feet do?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: These big platform.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like the way it works that there's there's
Speaker 1: a little sticky hairs on this. Yeah, I think I
Speaker 1: I used to know the word for I think it's
Speaker 1: called it starts with a sealy celia celia. Yeah, on
Speaker 1: all I'm pretty sure they're on all parts. But I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure they're on the feet.
Speaker 3: Sure the tongue do I will stick to stuff?
Speaker 12: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's a tongue sticky too. I'm sticky.
Speaker 1: It's I know what I can do. It extends pretty far.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Good.
Speaker 1: I mean that's why people confuse me for a frog
Speaker 1: all the time, because geckos and frogs they do have
Speaker 1: very similar.
Speaker 3: You're just leaner and longer.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, And hopefully nobody googles any of this and
Speaker 1: realizes that I'm completely have no idea what.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about. Okay, good times, dow.
Speaker 8: Yes.
Speaker 1: Now it says here that on love Line ten years ago,
Speaker 1: you said the words big fat cock, and you like
Speaker 1: to apologize to you.
Speaker 5: I actually said big fucking cock?
Speaker 3: Oh okay, was that a and you have to apologize
Speaker 3: to who.
Speaker 5: I want to apologize to you, Doctor Drew. I've been
Speaker 5: carrying this burden for over a decade and and it
Speaker 5: hurts me every time I listen to you on Doctor
Speaker 5: Drew after Dark.
Speaker 7: Oh, and I want to move on with my life.
Speaker 5: And and uh, I'm so glad I get to finally.
Speaker 3: Okay, Now, I accept your apology wholeheartedly, and I appreciate
Speaker 3: the manner in which it is offered, and I forgive
Speaker 3: you completely. And I assure you that there were no
Speaker 3: consequences for me in the big cock comment. Uh, And
Speaker 3: so I want you to not not feel guilty. We're
Speaker 3: all good, and I appreciate the apology.
Speaker 5: Thank you, doctor Juwan. Just so you know, me and
Speaker 5: my big fat cock aer doing fantastic.
Speaker 3: Oh that is great news. That is great. It's amazing news. Congratulations,
Speaker 3: Thank you to both of you. That's right, see you Jeans.
Speaker 1: So you're learning all of our Oh yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm getting in.
Speaker 3: Sort of a looha. It's all greetings and farewells. You
Speaker 3: better believe I'll be coming up in me is a
Speaker 3: good one, and touch my camera through the fence. You'll
Speaker 3: hear that in a minute, No doubt. You have a
Speaker 3: lot of Lore to you and Lore, yes, Lore, because
Speaker 3: this is all of your mom's house. Lore being law
Speaker 3: in my career overall, I would say, so, okay, tell
Speaker 3: me how well I mean, this is all your mom's house.
Speaker 3: This is all your mom's house stuff, this is this
Speaker 3: is all current hip now podcast stuff in these So
Speaker 3: it's it's tried it out, tried out. Uh, it's uh,
Speaker 3: touched my cameras through the fence. It's you better. Billie
Speaker 3: will be coming up in May. It's aii you'll hear,
Speaker 3: you'll hear more of it.
Speaker 1: How often are people coming up to be like I
Speaker 1: called you on the phone twenty years ago?
Speaker 3: Rare? Right, rare? Because most people, you know, they're really
Speaker 3: adults now they're they're not thinking about that. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: they probably call when they were twenty two. You'll get it.
Speaker 3: It's the same for you when you were dusted up
Speaker 3: as a gecko ten years ago. Yeah, I'm wondering a little.
Speaker 1: Will people, you know, they'll tell you and they're in
Speaker 1: their thirties be like, hey, you know I called you
Speaker 1: and you told me something and now I'm fucked up
Speaker 1: and I'm blaming you.
Speaker 3: They won't tell you that. They don't think they'll tell
Speaker 3: you that, but they'll tell you that. I called, So
Speaker 3: let's talk to Kathy.
Speaker 1: Hello, Kathy, Hi.
Speaker 3: Hi, Kathy, Hi.
Speaker 7: How are you good?
Speaker 3: What's happening to good?
Speaker 1: How can I get you this evening?
Speaker 6: So I called and then I got a message from
Speaker 6: my partner that you have a sexual sexual vibe that
Speaker 6: sounds it sounds awful.
Speaker 20: I don't know how to phrase it.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: No apology apology needed, Just spill it out there.
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 10: So?
Speaker 20: So I'm thirty two, the thirty three in August. So yeah,
Speaker 20: so number one, Uh, I feel like a sex drive
Speaker 20: not as as strong as I'd like it to be.
Speaker 20: And I mostly blame the Zoloft that I'm on on
Speaker 20: Gonne what what.
Speaker 3: What do you want? Wait? What?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that'll do it. That, that will do it.
Speaker 3: That will shut you down. And uh, it's it's a
Speaker 3: serious thing and it just can destroy relationships. And doctors
Speaker 3: don't talk enough to their patients about this. No, it
Speaker 3: can affect any The SSRI class of antidepressants can affect
Speaker 3: any stage of the sexual cycle, from arousal to erection,
Speaker 3: to lubrication to pain with intercourse to orgasm. Every piece
Speaker 3: can be affected, and you should. You should be able
Speaker 3: to get on something that doesn't do that so much.
Speaker 3: You got to talk. And if your doctor doesn't know
Speaker 3: the field enough, like he's not a psychiatrist, go see
Speaker 3: a specialist and say, look, my depression is bad, but
Speaker 3: I don't want to ruin my relationships, you know, to
Speaker 3: to help my depression. You shouldn't have all right, all
Speaker 3: right or whatever. You shouldn't have to do that. There's millions,
Speaker 3: there's ten different ways you could you could address that,
Speaker 3: and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You shouldn't feel
Speaker 3: bad about it. I feel bad when my peers do
Speaker 3: this to people. I've seen marriages destroyed by this and
Speaker 3: went and be oftentimes because the doctrine never even told
Speaker 3: them that this was going to happen. It's very common
Speaker 3: and so by all means, by all means, talk to
Speaker 3: somebody about it. And you shouldn't feel bad about it.
Speaker 3: And I hope your boyfriend, boyfriend, your boyfriend girlfriend girlfriend.
Speaker 20: I actually I have a little bit of a unique situation.
Speaker 3: Who I was.
Speaker 20: I was going to ask you some advice about that too.
Speaker 1: Girlfriend girlfriend?
Speaker 3: So is she pressuring you at all, ars anything or
Speaker 3: make you feel bad about it. Okay, good, that's good.
Speaker 3: So that's good. So so she's you know, with you
Speaker 3: on this. And but even I'm sure she'd love to
Speaker 3: see you a little more too. So good. I mean,
Speaker 3: and if and if your anxiety or your psychiatric issue
Speaker 3: is so profound that you don't want to risk it, still,
Speaker 3: that should be discussed explicitly with your with the prescribing doctors. Okay, okay,
Speaker 3: good for you, Good for you. What about this? You
Speaker 3: said there was some other weird thing going on, something
Speaker 3: else going on. I don't mean weird. I listen, I
Speaker 3: don't apologize, and I mean weird, some some thing else
Speaker 3: going on.
Speaker 6: O's fine.
Speaker 20: So my girlfriend is a transfomer who is not seeking
Speaker 20: bottom surgery, and uh, I'm obviously.
Speaker 6: Totally fine with that. We vibe.
Speaker 20: You know, she gives me the business, I give her
Speaker 20: the business. It's a grand old time not to be
Speaker 20: too boulder. My My question is, so I work, and
Speaker 20: I have a pretty physical job. I come home, I'm
Speaker 20: so I'm hired. I don't want to make it's someway
Speaker 20: that work construction, but you know, I'm yea and and
Speaker 20: you know he can sometime working up the energy.
Speaker 3: Uh two, you know, no, I get it, but you're
Speaker 3: getting but you're getting what's her name, sorry, Kathy, Kathy.
Speaker 3: You're getting a double whammy though. I mean, you're getting
Speaker 3: the low libidos. You don't have the motivation to step
Speaker 3: up and you know, try to push past the fatigue,
Speaker 3: and you've got the fatigue, which is real, it's real.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're entitled, hired at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: so I but when things go like this, it's the
Speaker 3: medicine more than anything, it really is. And that it's
Speaker 3: so sad to me that when people lose that they
Speaker 3: lose a certain kind of connection with their partner. That
Speaker 3: it can be, it can be. It's I don't know,
Speaker 3: I don't like it when that happens. You're losing an
Speaker 3: important piece, or at least you're reducing. Go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 20: So you're saying that if I talk to my doctor
Speaker 20: and get my SSR right, which the fatigue from work
Speaker 20: won't be No, I'm.
Speaker 3: Not saying I'm not. I'm not really. Yeah, it's that's
Speaker 3: it's what I'm saying. I'm saying, you'll still have the fatigue,
Speaker 3: but you'll if you're if you're if you have libido,
Speaker 3: You'll find ways around it. You'll figure that out, right,
Speaker 3: I mean you figure it out when you're yes, yes,
Speaker 3: but but I'm glad your partner is is giving you
Speaker 3: what do you say, giving each other the business? But
Speaker 3: like that, I like that each other the business. Congratulations.
Speaker 3: It sounds like like a cool relationship.
Speaker 20: And yeah, it's beautiful. I love her very much.
Speaker 3: Good, that's awesome.
Speaker 1: They found someone that I have. You been searching for
Speaker 1: a long time.
Speaker 3: The difference by the way between people are like, I
Speaker 3: don't know, I don't know, I don't know. It's like, no, no,
Speaker 3: I'm good, right exactly.
Speaker 1: You know, going back into what we were just talking about,
Speaker 1: it seems like you guys, there's there's no questions being
Speaker 1: asked here.
Speaker 3: They're just good and that's that's what you're looking for.
Speaker 20: Yeah, no, I I I love it very much, And
Speaker 20: I have been searching for a long time. I dated
Speaker 20: a slew of losers. I had my own issues too,
Speaker 20: but I picked I picked a winner this time and
Speaker 20: thanks to her wonderful steps on and that's great.
Speaker 3: Takes what it takes, takes what it takes. Like my
Speaker 3: my wife always says, you gotta kiss a lot of
Speaker 3: frogs or get goes in our case.
Speaker 20: Yeah, well, thank you so much. I'm definitely going to
Speaker 20: talk to my dog.
Speaker 3: Yes, please do please do it make be sad?
Speaker 1: How long were you searching before you found your wife?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I was twenty four when we connected, twenty four, but
Speaker 3: then we were on and off for seven years. Got
Speaker 3: married in thirty one.
Speaker 1: Okay, so when you say on and off, what was
Speaker 1: what was the on and off?
Speaker 3: Theah off was we were in our twenties and we
Speaker 3: were living in different cities, and we were I was
Speaker 3: an idiot and wasn't ready and that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: So I blame myself more than anything.
Speaker 1: Was there any of that going on? You know what
Speaker 1: we told that previous caller of like, you know, if
Speaker 1: they want to be with you, they will, If they won't,
Speaker 1: they won't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a little different. It was a little different.
Speaker 3: It was I really wanted to be with her, but
Speaker 3: I really didn't want to get married, and she really
Speaker 3: did want to get married, and I just I just
Speaker 3: knew I wasn't ready. I just wasn't ready. I was
Speaker 3: I barely had my head on my shoulders. I couldn't
Speaker 3: have done it. And I would have screwed things up.
Speaker 3: I'm sure had we tried. Well, a lot of men
Speaker 3: will feel feel that they feel like I need to
Speaker 3: be at a certain place to be ready, of course,
Speaker 3: or else I just well, not everyone feels that way.
Speaker 3: Some people were just ready to go. But some of
Speaker 3: us are just like, I gotta understand and what I'm doing,
Speaker 3: who I am, what my career I just had. I
Speaker 3: couldn't have done it. I couldn't. I just became anathema
Speaker 3: to me. And when I was ready, I was ready.
Speaker 1: How did you know that you were ready?
Speaker 3: I didn't really. She came back into my life and
Speaker 3: it felt totally different, and she started pushing the issue again.
Speaker 3: I was like, ah, I definitely want to be with you.
Speaker 3: I mean, there's really something here and it has just
Speaker 3: expanded since then. And and you know, the really, I
Speaker 3: always tell people the asset test is on your wedding
Speaker 3: day walking to the altar, and at the altar.
Speaker 1: You feel like you don't know until.
Speaker 3: Well, you'll have a very vivid experience. I predict if
Speaker 3: you really want to be there, but if I really
Speaker 3: don't want to be If you really don't want to
Speaker 3: be there, you'll have cold feet yeah, you'll start thinking
Speaker 3: what am I doing? Why am I doing this? I
Speaker 3: should run away? People have those thoughts. Every time I've
Speaker 3: heard somebody talk about that, it doesn't go well for me.
Speaker 3: I felt more like, oh my god, this is exactly
Speaker 3: what I want to be. Screw anybody who told me
Speaker 3: had doubts or what I should or shouldn't do this,
Speaker 3: screw all and just oh my god, I was so
Speaker 3: angry at everybody who was, you know, and I was
Speaker 3: so It's such clarity, such clarity and intensity too, like
Speaker 3: I want to be here, this is what I want
Speaker 3: to be doing.
Speaker 1: And do you feel like anything less than I feel
Speaker 1: like I would agree with that. Where anything less than that.
Speaker 3: I feel bad for you if it's less If you
Speaker 3: have cold feet want to run, do so because it
Speaker 3: will have consequence.
Speaker 1: Have you seen in your experience lots of the times
Speaker 1: where like that'll just just drag out for a very
Speaker 1: very long time. People who should not be together.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, especially when they have these big, expensive
Speaker 3: marriages and the weddings and they want to you know,
Speaker 3: oh my family will kill me and blah blah blah.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you what do you think of the primary reasons
Speaker 1: for that these like you know, social shame or anything like.
Speaker 3: That, why they stick with it? Yeah, well they they're
Speaker 3: doing well. There's a million reasons, but but a common
Speaker 3: one is they're doing their marrying somebody that they think
Speaker 3: they're supposed to marry. Sure, that kind of thing. Sure,
Speaker 3: And it's one thing that your scripts match, like your
Speaker 3: your life. You have similar life courses, you come from
Speaker 3: similar systems. You understand things the same way. You have
Speaker 3: the same goals, same everything that's different than this guy
Speaker 3: or this gal fits a you know, checks a bunch
Speaker 3: of boxes, which people do a lot of that. They
Speaker 3: do a lot of that weddings and and then the
Speaker 3: families get excited about that if a lot of boxes
Speaker 3: are checked and they put on.
Speaker 1: Big Now they're dealing with pressure from the mom and
Speaker 1: the dad of like you can now our families are
Speaker 1: all married, and you spend a.
Speaker 3: Million dollars and too many beautiful weddings and shitty marriages.
Speaker 3: The marriage is what's supposed to be nice, not the wedding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the fact that people will like go
Speaker 1: into debt to fund a weddings.
Speaker 3: The same beautiful weddings do not predict beautiful marriages. It
Speaker 3: is probably almost an inverse relationship.
Speaker 1: I mean it comes from like people just wanting to
Speaker 1: be approved, approval from other people over whatever it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess, yeah, I guess I feel bad for
Speaker 3: people like that.
Speaker 1: Let's see here. Oh, this one's interesting.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, it's the first one you reacted to like that.
Speaker 3: I'm ready, Anna, Hi, how you doing? They called you interesting?
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 1: Doing good? And since you suspect your cousin has a
Speaker 1: video game addiction and that it might be causing him
Speaker 1: to get violent with his mom?
Speaker 3: Uh oh.
Speaker 16: Yeah, he's really little, he's like twelve and he's thirteen now,
Speaker 16: but he's just really violent when like my mom tries
Speaker 16: to make him turn off the game and nothing seems
Speaker 16: to work. And I'm kind of curious, like short of
Speaker 16: like calling the police on him when he gets violent,
Speaker 16: Like would you do with kids like that?
Speaker 3: That is a mental health problem. That is not that
Speaker 3: is not a parenting problem. That is a mental health problem,
Speaker 3: and that kid needs to be evaluated right oftentimes behind
Speaker 3: video game compulsion is a serious mental illness. And I'm
Speaker 3: not saying always there and there can be video game
Speaker 3: addictions and there can be compulsions and people could just
Speaker 3: use them excessively and people could become professional video game
Speaker 3: you know, sort of competitors. I understand that. But if
Speaker 3: you're not functioning, if you're disrupting relationships, if you're violent,
Speaker 3: this is time for mental health professional for sure. For sure. Okay,
Speaker 3: here's that. You really can't do anything toil you figure
Speaker 3: out what's going on here.
Speaker 16: Yeah, he's on like some weight lists to get evaluated.
Speaker 16: But like in the meantime, I just wonder, like, what
Speaker 16: can she do if he's getting physically violent with her?
Speaker 3: I would have a low threshold for calling law enforcement
Speaker 3: if he really is. I mean, you have to do that.
Speaker 3: He's he can't. You can't. Look, there are consequences of
Speaker 3: behavior you don't get just just to do that. And
Speaker 3: just because it's thirteen doesn't it doesn't matter.
Speaker 20: You have to.
Speaker 3: You have to bring the axe down sometimes when people
Speaker 3: behave in ways that are dangerous, you just have to.
Speaker 3: He just can't do that. You're not allowed to behave
Speaker 3: like that and somebody could really get hurt, him or
Speaker 3: your mom. And this it's not it's no fooling.
Speaker 1: Hey, what's he playing?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 16: God, I don't even know.
Speaker 1: Is it a violent thing. Is it Sonic the Hedgehog?
Speaker 1: Is it Fortnite League? I think it's a Minecraft Minecraft. Okay,
Speaker 1: then it's probably not the video games that are giving
Speaker 1: the violence the violent tendencies, unless if he's trying to
Speaker 1: hurt over then axe.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, something's up, something is up and needs
Speaker 3: needs help. And again, just make sure your parents understand
Speaker 3: it's not a parenting problem. There's something else going on. Okay.
Speaker 16: And when they go to a pessis I don't he's
Speaker 16: on a wait list somewhere like like all therapists know
Speaker 16: how to handle stuff.
Speaker 3: Like that, Like what kind of services? Yeah? Yeah, I
Speaker 3: mean again, it's it's not just the video game, it's
Speaker 3: what is going on underneath there that that needs to
Speaker 3: be valued. Is he's going to see a psychiatrist.
Speaker 16: I think he's going to like he's gonna go to
Speaker 16: a clinic with like the whole team.
Speaker 3: A team clinic. Good. That's fine, that's fine. They'll help him.
Speaker 3: They for sure. They see lots of this kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: That's good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, look, it's nice that you care.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's a tough thing where like you
Speaker 1: are sort of removed in like how much you can
Speaker 1: do about this situation. But it's very nice to hear
Speaker 1: that you care so much about your cousin to want
Speaker 1: to intervene and help with this, because this is a really,
Speaker 1: really tough problem that you could very easily just be
Speaker 1: like when he starts, yeah, just be like, I'm out.
Speaker 1: If he starts throwing a fit, or or if they
Speaker 1: all the police, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with this. But uh, you know,
Speaker 1: we can really tell that you care about your cousin
Speaker 1: by the fact that you're even questioning what it is
Speaker 1: that you can do to intervene in this situation. So,
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's very nice.
Speaker 16: And appreciate it.
Speaker 3: And it's good that the mom is is it your
Speaker 3: his mom, your aunt or your mom. It's good that
Speaker 3: she is being proactive and hang on a second, yeah, uh,
Speaker 3: And and that he that she's taken proper action. That's
Speaker 3: very very commendable because a lot of parents get into
Speaker 3: denial and don't do what they need to do. It's
Speaker 3: good that she is. My skin just came up. It's weird.
Speaker 1: There we go to it. That's the thing about the
Speaker 1: echo parts. They always go back uh Anna, good luck
Speaker 1: to you and thank you for calling.
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 16: Thank you?
Speaker 1: You playing a video game?
Speaker 3: Am I playing one?
Speaker 1: Do you play any video game?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I really don't.
Speaker 1: You never really played video my sons did?
Speaker 3: I picked it up a couple of times, just I
Speaker 3: can't even do it literally, and I thought probably best not.
Speaker 1: Even like something simple like a fucking candy crush you
Speaker 1: sku No, but you gotta do something to what do you?
Speaker 1: What do you do when you're trying to turn off
Speaker 1: your brain?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: I work out and listen to podcasts. Okay, yeah, that's
Speaker 3: my sort of my meditation.
Speaker 1: You listened to a lot of podcasts.
Speaker 3: I do do you not after? Like if your whole
Speaker 3: job is radio and podcast? Do not be like a
Speaker 3: podcast sometimes? I Lately I've been working on languages with
Speaker 3: YouTube teachers and things. Okay, what are you learning French? French?
Speaker 3: I actually I learned Greek for a minute.
Speaker 1: Greek.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lot you can do with that, there
Speaker 3: is and it's a weird language. Yeah. We were going
Speaker 3: to Greece and so I thought, all right, it helped
Speaker 3: me with my COVID fog. It really helped. And there's
Speaker 3: one strange thing about language. When when you start a language,
Speaker 3: which I haven't done in years, you're you really pick
Speaker 3: stuff up very quickly. It feels like surprising, and then
Speaker 3: not then it's just plateaus.
Speaker 1: No, but it's like, uh, there's that the what is
Speaker 1: it the pi ratio principle of the twenty where it's like,
Speaker 1: there's you really only need to know so many words,
Speaker 1: yeah to get around yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And and I was telling people that my Greek
Speaker 3: was sort of a parlor game, yeah, because I only
Speaker 3: learned I we you know, and I didn't endo any
Speaker 3: other congregation conjugations and uh, and just learned words about
Speaker 3: food and things like that, things at hotels, and it
Speaker 3: was pretty good.
Speaker 1: So I mean I learned, uh, And I went to
Speaker 1: I studied in Italy, and I learned a pretty damn
Speaker 1: good amount of Italian in one month. And I had
Speaker 1: this epiphany where I was like, oh, it took me
Speaker 1: one month to like learn somewhat basic conversational Italian. What
Speaker 1: the fuck else could I do in one month? Like
Speaker 1: I'm always overestimating the amount of time it takes to
Speaker 1: like fucking learn to play guitars.
Speaker 3: Fantasized going back to piano and stuff. But but French. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I studied a long time, but I could never speak it.
Speaker 3: And then I was like, I'm gonna speak it, and
Speaker 3: I'm getting pretty good now.
Speaker 1: Uh do you feel like even after you take your
Speaker 1: take your are are you doing this in anticipation.
Speaker 3: For going on the trip? I did it in anticipation
Speaker 3: going on. We did go also go to France, and
Speaker 3: I just kind of stayed with it because you're staying
Speaker 3: with it. It just feels good for my brain. It
Speaker 3: just feels good.
Speaker 1: It's hard when you don't have a like reason anyway, it.
Speaker 3: Is, and I lose motivation sometimes. But but I'm it's
Speaker 3: I'm so pissed that I've got this huge vocabulary and
Speaker 3: I do understand everything that I can't just speak it.
Speaker 3: That's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Wait where are you gonna go?
Speaker 8: Where?
Speaker 3: I don't care. I just after all these years of
Speaker 3: studying and reading French and stuff, I just like, I'm
Speaker 3: god damn it, finally I'm gonna speak it. That's all.
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm tired of this. I'm gonna speak it.
Speaker 3: You ever going on?
Speaker 1: Megal?
Speaker 3: What you know?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: Megal is?
Speaker 1: No, it's like this thing where you can like you
Speaker 1: can set it to like. Uh, it's it's this thing
Speaker 1: that like hooks you up on video chats with random strangers.
Speaker 1: A lot of the time it's used for people to
Speaker 1: jerk off, but there's a lot of people not drinking
Speaker 1: the chat.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, said it for like, uh yeah, for a French person.
Speaker 1: I did that for like Italian a little.
Speaker 3: With somebody actually talked to you. Yeah, you could get
Speaker 3: people to talk to you. Huh.
Speaker 1: You also a lot of people jacking off, but you can,
Speaker 1: if you can, if you can get past that. Okay,
Speaker 1: what's it called omegel? I mean I think they have
Speaker 1: it for Chatroulette, but Chatroulette, I mean they both have
Speaker 1: a lot of people.
Speaker 3: Just high tutor seems that sounds like a better idea. Yeah,
Speaker 3: hey Isaac, Hello, Yeah.
Speaker 1: What's up, Isaac? What's going on? How can we how
Speaker 1: can we be of how can we.
Speaker 19: Be with you?
Speaker 1: In this moment right now? I'm being.
Speaker 13: I'm I'm being horny actually, which is not good because
Speaker 13: I can't do anything about it because I injured myself
Speaker 13: playing piano.
Speaker 3: Wow, this is an interesting story. So what was the
Speaker 3: nature of the piano injury?
Speaker 13: So I'm a jazz studies major in college. My senior year,
Speaker 13: and I've been doing like this stuff, so like I
Speaker 13: couldn't play guitar for a while, and so I was
Speaker 13: just kind of thinking about, well, like what else can
Speaker 13: I do to it?
Speaker 3: For music?
Speaker 13: And piano is really good. It's very like all the
Speaker 13: notes are right in front of you. But like, yeah,
Speaker 13: you know, you use your hands so much and the
Speaker 13: body has this cool way of telling you to stop,
Speaker 13: and it just like kind of breaks down a little bit, like.
Speaker 3: Arthritis type of you don't know what the injury is.
Speaker 3: You've not been evaluated yet. No, I mean, hey, Isaac, Isaac,
Speaker 3: Isaac Yes or no? Yes or no? You saw northpeda
Speaker 3: or a specialist in hand and they gave you a
Speaker 3: diagnosis yes or no?
Speaker 14: Yes?
Speaker 3: Okay, what's the diagnosed? Hang on, no, buds, what's the diagnosis?
Speaker 3: What's the diagnosis?
Speaker 13: Diagnosed?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 13: Hold on, I have this thing here.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 13: They wrote one PCP, two physical therapy, three specialists question mark.
Speaker 3: Okay, so that's all. That's all. That's not diagnosis, that's
Speaker 3: all treatment. That's all treatment. Yeah, So what was the diagnosis?
Speaker 8: I mean to do that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we need to see the specialist and is it
Speaker 3: in both hands? Yeah, yeah, both hands. When'd you teach
Speaker 3: them about flash lights?
Speaker 12: Sing?
Speaker 1: Have you tried? You have one that straps onto the wall?
Speaker 13: No, I said I could, I could. I just I
Speaker 13: was just kind of going with that.
Speaker 1: Okay, what's your what's your apprehension about getting a sex
Speaker 1: toy that you can strap to a wall?
Speaker 13: Well, I don't know. I guess that's a good question.
Speaker 13: Why don't I just I guess i'd have to order online?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: Look, Isaac, here's the thing. As I know, you feel
Speaker 1: like you're frustrated with your inability to express your horniness.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, if there is
Speaker 1: a will, there is a way.
Speaker 3: There is technology today, there is of advanced technologies.
Speaker 1: I feel like you haven't given enough thoughts whatever I
Speaker 1: mean to to you haven't done any solution based thinking
Speaker 1: to this problem. It sounds like and I think that you.
Speaker 1: I mean, do a quick Google search for hands free
Speaker 1: masturbation devices. You can just you don't have to do anything.
Speaker 1: You can just you're dick in it, press the remote control,
Speaker 1: It'll do all the work for you. And hey, listen,
Speaker 1: when you're hand heels you might be like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that this whole ordeal happens hands free forever,
Speaker 1: Because now I found a great place, a great, great
Speaker 1: way to do it hands free forever. Bluetooth pocket puss.
Speaker 6: H f F.
Speaker 13: That's a good solution. But yeah, no, that's a good solution.
Speaker 13: I was thinking about going celibate too.
Speaker 1: There's all, there's a lot of value to be gained
Speaker 1: in that is not is not.
Speaker 3: You know, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? When
Speaker 3: you don't have any sexual activity and celibra means you
Speaker 3: don't you don't have activity with somebody else, doesn't it.
Speaker 1: Oh you're going you're going no fat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nothing. I think that's what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Were you about to say? Imagine all the things you
Speaker 1: could accomplish if you didn't masturbate? Yeah, yeah, Hey you
Speaker 1: could learn French mm hmm.
Speaker 3: Fun.
Speaker 12: You're right.
Speaker 13: I've been really into German expressionism because of it, because
Speaker 13: I because when I get.
Speaker 1: Warning and then and then when you go out to
Speaker 1: the bars and you're, you know, trying to find a
Speaker 1: sexual partner, you can bring up your expertise in German
Speaker 1: expressionism as a way to seem more interesting, You get more.
Speaker 3: Uh, improve your selection. No, absolutely, okay, beautiful, thank you, okay,
Speaker 3: thank you much, Yes very much. Well you're google like like,
Speaker 3: like we said, google it hands free, hands free forever.
Speaker 1: Have you ever used one of those flesh light things?
Speaker 3: No, I actually haven't, but they look cool people should enjoy.
Speaker 1: I used to when I was what fourteen? I took
Speaker 1: a took two sponges, and I took a a like
Speaker 1: a plastic glove, put it in between the sponges. Yeah,
Speaker 1: took that little plastic glove sponge sandwich, put it into
Speaker 1: a pringles can.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, your genius look the rim of it.
Speaker 3: I'm sure that. I'm sure many young teens have had
Speaker 3: evil genius solutions like that.
Speaker 1: And then it makes a little pringles yep can yep.
Speaker 3: Good for you, Oh my god, because when.
Speaker 1: You're fourteen, you can't, you know, buy the thing.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 3: Look, fourteen year olds are males. They got energy.
Speaker 8: Hmmmm.
Speaker 3: Why did God do that to young men? You know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 1: No, he's definitely a sadist, that God.
Speaker 3: You know. One of the first things that transgender patients
Speaker 3: female to male tell me is, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 3: so sorry, Like I didn't know this is what you
Speaker 3: were contending with. And my response is, yeah, that's what
Speaker 3: it feels like all the time. But imagine you're thirteen
Speaker 3: contending with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're having that. That must be interesting that being
Speaker 1: able to have through your life fully been able to
Speaker 1: experience both sides.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we we should be mining that, you know, people
Speaker 3: that have those experiences more for for help people understand
Speaker 3: the differences and what people are experiencing. And yeah, hmm.
Speaker 1: Sucking Nicole Nicole.
Speaker 6: Nike.
Speaker 1: Hey, Nicole has a gun.
Speaker 7: Thanks good?
Speaker 3: How are you doing good? At what's going on with you? Nicole?
Speaker 1: Well, Jesus, there's some family drama going on. Does he
Speaker 1: want to talk?
Speaker 12: Oh?
Speaker 2: No, I just I just had the team Young Cloud
Speaker 2: with you. But so, I guess the main reason, like
Speaker 2: I was thinking tonight, was I have a lot of
Speaker 2: issues with over sharing and conversations like.
Speaker 1: How do I describe this?
Speaker 2: So I had a couple of diagnoses recently that kind
Speaker 2: of correlate with each other and makes it hard for
Speaker 2: me to like have like proper conversations in general. But
Speaker 2: I tend to realize that I overshare when I and
Speaker 2: even if I don't intentionally want to, because I'm trying
Speaker 2: to like describe how I'm feeling is shit and a
Speaker 2: situation and I don't know, it is a bad habit, And.
Speaker 3: I just wanted a little what what are the diagnoses?
Speaker 2: Uh? Okay, I have kind of a list. I have
Speaker 2: borderline personality disorder autism PTSD, agoraphobia, so anxiety and depression.
Speaker 3: Right, of course, that's all all that stuff is, you
Speaker 3: know the PTS that the trauma is the PTSD, The
Speaker 3: trauma is the border line. The anxiety goes with the borderline.
Speaker 3: But here's the thing about borderline people. Borderline disorder are
Speaker 3: I know what you're talking about. You guys are geniuses
Speaker 3: at sort of picking up on things, right, You're like
Speaker 3: like you have antenna, Like it's phenomenal. I've always I
Speaker 3: always marvel at what borderlines can can sort of know
Speaker 3: just just when you walk in a room, or they
Speaker 3: know you're walking in the room before you walk in
Speaker 3: the room. And so I understand it's a burden. I
Speaker 3: get it's a burden because you react to all that emotionally,
Speaker 3: and it's because of the trauma that your your bodies
Speaker 3: on all that hyper alert. It's a survival system that
Speaker 3: you've learned to you know, it's an adaptation. It got
Speaker 3: you to where you are now. So good, You survived great,
Speaker 3: But you have to figure you have to figure out
Speaker 3: ways to sort of dial down the borderline stuff. It
Speaker 3: can be. Some of it's, like I'm saying, some of
Speaker 3: it's an asset. You're like crazy tuned into the world.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 3: You know, who's you know before somebody pulls in your
Speaker 3: dry way, who's coming? And why? And that's it's weird
Speaker 3: how I mean, it's incredible how you guys can do that.
Speaker 3: But you have to be able to regulate your emotions
Speaker 3: and understand that a lot of your stuff affects other
Speaker 3: people and so and the other people's minds have emotions too,
Speaker 3: you know, at certain times you lose track of that.
Speaker 3: And so you want to do something, Yeah, you want
Speaker 3: to do something called dialectical behavioral therapy DBT. So are
Speaker 3: you involved in DBT? Now? What what's that.
Speaker 10: I thought about?
Speaker 2: Or just controlled behavioral therapy?
Speaker 3: Both good? Both good? Both good, both good? They will
Speaker 3: you trust me, they will they will help you and
Speaker 3: all this, you know what's what you're talking about of
Speaker 3: you know, overhearing things and racting to things. It will settle,
Speaker 3: It will settle, But you gotta do. You gotta do
Speaker 3: the work. You gotta do the work you get. You
Speaker 3: have a diagnosis, the diagnosis has a treatment, and the
Speaker 3: treatments work. That's the great news. So you feel so
Speaker 3: much better. Trust me.
Speaker 1: I like this the angle of like it's it's it's
Speaker 1: you know, looking at the positive things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but every everything in life has liabilities and assets.
Speaker 3: Everything everything I have OCD made me a great doctor.
Speaker 3: I was obsessively checking everything, responding to my page er
Speaker 3: and stuff like that. But now when my text messages
Speaker 3: go off, it's fucked. I hate it. It's the same system,
Speaker 3: same problem. And and people get very pejorative about mental
Speaker 3: health diagnoses. Oh you have Oh yeah, that because it
Speaker 3: makes you do things that are unpleasant or may be disruptive.
Speaker 3: But guess what, that all has treatment and you you
Speaker 3: just got to do the work. Though.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's very helpful in the process of like accepting
Speaker 1: about yourself being like, oh well, I can't get so
Speaker 1: upset about all the negative things that are going on
Speaker 1: with me because of this, because there's also the positive
Speaker 1: things that I am they're excited about.
Speaker 3: So many people out there with borderline disorder that are
Speaker 3: so grateful that they got their diagnosis and they got
Speaker 3: proper treatment because they didn't understand what was going on.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm so happy I did, because like when I hike,
Speaker 2: when I was in sophomore year, is when like my
Speaker 2: back started to go complete ship and my parents completely
Speaker 2: neglected it, didn't take me to the doctor and just
Speaker 2: assumed that gymnastics would just cure it and heal it.
Speaker 2: And I ended up like getting surgery after I turned
Speaker 2: eighteen because they wouldn't take me to the doctor, and
Speaker 2: my boyfriend took me.
Speaker 3: Boy and then all of.
Speaker 2: My emotions and shit just kind of left out of
Speaker 2: me and I cut everybody off.
Speaker 3: Okay, so hold slow down, you're going back. You're going
Speaker 3: back into it. I feel it starting, okay, and I
Speaker 3: get it. I heard you, I heard what happened, and
Speaker 3: but that's the stuff that needs to be damn calm down.
Speaker 3: We got to calm that stuff down, Okay. And I
Speaker 3: don't I don't even mean calm down. That sounds sort
Speaker 3: of glib. I mean we're going to process that, We're
Speaker 3: going to regulated deal with it, manage it, that kind
Speaker 3: of thing. Okay.
Speaker 2: It's like feeling of one, like you know that I
Speaker 2: have that anxiety.
Speaker 3: So okay, so let me give you another little premer so. So,
Speaker 3: one of the things that that comes with borderline personal
Speaker 3: disorder is something called projective identification. That unpleasant feelings, you
Speaker 3: put them out into other people. You inject them into people,
Speaker 3: and you work them there and you regulate them. You
Speaker 3: make other people feel things. You know what I'm saying, right, yeah,
Speaker 3: I okay with your you're I know, and you're good
Speaker 3: at it, and you're capable of it. You're starting to
Speaker 3: do it right now to us. Because I'm very sensitive
Speaker 3: to borderline stuff. I feel it when it starts, and
Speaker 3: so so you're starting to do that, and and DBT
Speaker 3: will get you to the place where you're like, oh here,
Speaker 3: I'm doing that again. There's other things I can do.
Speaker 3: It just brings it into consciousness and gives you alternative.
Speaker 3: It's okay, okay, you're gonna be good. Good for you.
Speaker 3: You're young, you're young, got lots of time. You're gonna
Speaker 3: get take care of this stuff. Thanks for calling, nic
Speaker 3: These are these are complicents. Bye bye. It was Nicole.
Speaker 3: Nicole Man.
Speaker 1: It's it's cool watching you do this because you know,
Speaker 1: when I have the way I typically handle these calls.
Speaker 1: Is I never advertised myself as like having like answers.
Speaker 1: I'll typically like them. I just want them to talk
Speaker 1: like your that's cool because you're an actual doctor, and
Speaker 1: you know, it's cool being like, oh, you know, watching
Speaker 1: you be like, oh, you're saying this, you have this,
Speaker 1: Here's the actual reason as to why you are feeling
Speaker 1: this way. Here's some some actual you know, therapies.
Speaker 3: We here's what you can do about it. Yeah, people
Speaker 3: are so fascinating the human experiences. I'm so grateful to
Speaker 3: have had the ability to sit by and and and understand,
Speaker 3: come to understand and experience and witness so much of
Speaker 3: the human experience that the average person does not get
Speaker 3: to say. Yeah, of course, whether it's opening somebody up
Speaker 3: and messing around inside with with knives and bovy, you know, clamps,
Speaker 3: or opening up in here and helping people deal with that,
Speaker 3: it's it's I'm just so grateful that experience. I just
Speaker 3: and because I it was such a profound workaholic for many, many,
Speaker 3: many a couple of decades, I had this very very
Speaker 3: rich experience. It's very rare to find physicians that have
Speaker 3: had as much in medicine and psychiatry as I have had,
Speaker 3: and I just want to give that back. I just
Speaker 3: want to give it, give it, give it as much
Speaker 3: as I possibly can do.
Speaker 1: You learn a lot about your own psychology by getting a.
Speaker 3: Kind of it's not what you think, it's more. It's more.
Speaker 3: I do a lot of therapy to make sure I
Speaker 3: could really be present fully in some very incredible situations
Speaker 3: without being overtaken by it or just regulated by it.
Speaker 3: And you start to learn really how you fit with
Speaker 3: other people and what they evoke in you, and you
Speaker 3: can you know, I've had so many bizarre experiences. Every
Speaker 3: every good therapist will tell you that they've they've been
Speaker 3: in therapy and had uncanny thoughts and heard things and
Speaker 3: smelled things that are not theirs but come from the patient.
Speaker 1: So you feel like a little bit of what the
Speaker 1: patients got going on is like.
Speaker 3: It gets projected, intruding, and much the way I was
Speaker 3: talking to her about projective identification, this is a little different.
Speaker 3: This is just something that happens naturally when people are
Speaker 3: closely attuned to each other. But it's wild and uncanny.
Speaker 3: So you sort of learned what I would learn is
Speaker 3: really what's mine and what's somebody else's.
Speaker 1: Was there at a hard point in time where I
Speaker 1: mean earlier in your career where where you didn't have
Speaker 1: that clear.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent?
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 3: I was, and it was I was not effective because
Speaker 3: of it, and I was aware of it. I was like,
Speaker 3: oh something I'm not. I'm not. I need to change
Speaker 3: something because this is not help helpful the way I am.
Speaker 3: What I would I would get into very rescuing modes
Speaker 3: and that kind of stuff. Yeah, found to rescue and
Speaker 3: save and make better. And you don't get to do
Speaker 3: that a lot of time. You have to be present
Speaker 3: and attuned and you know deeply, uh, respond in ways
Speaker 3: that are sometimes kind of very nuanced and difficult to navigate.
Speaker 3: And you can't do that if you're overtaken by it.
Speaker 3: You're busy rescuing people, they don't they don't come for
Speaker 3: rescues because now you've now you've taken a now you
Speaker 3: have a permitent victim that needs constant rescuing.
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, So you don't come to this from a
Speaker 1: place of I need to rescue them, I need to
Speaker 1: help them.
Speaker 3: You come back some of that left over because I
Speaker 3: am a codependent, but I come from it that like
Speaker 3: I may feel that way, but I'm not going to
Speaker 3: do that. Sure, I'm not going to rescue people. I'm
Speaker 3: not going to get engaged with that.
Speaker 8: No, no, no.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you feel like that's a lot, that's
Speaker 1: a that's a heavy burden to put on yourself, you know,
Speaker 1: to always want to help people.
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no. But like you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know, do you feel like it's possible to help everyone?
Speaker 12: No?
Speaker 3: And that's part of wanting to help. Yes, it's like
Speaker 3: you do what you can. Like I told you about
Speaker 3: the aimless driver. You've got a skill set, you got
Speaker 3: some experience, you do what you can't, you do what
Speaker 3: you can't. But but I, but I don't know. I'm
Speaker 3: just great. I know it's expressive, but just grateful, grateful,
Speaker 3: grateful that I can offer something and that i've and
Speaker 3: that I commune with people in a certain way where
Speaker 3: I get to see these things that are important.
Speaker 1: You know, that's wonderful.
Speaker 3: I'm not always dressed like a gecko. When I do
Speaker 3: that too, it's you may surprise you, but sometimes I
Speaker 3: am clearly.
Speaker 1: I like the well, the cool thing about having guests
Speaker 1: on and a Gecko. Is that like, you know, I
Speaker 1: feel like it. You're like a different guy knocks you
Speaker 1: down to size in a sense.
Speaker 3: It's like it's like this is like, oh look my
Speaker 3: legs are showing. It's like massd Singer. You become the
Speaker 3: become the character exactly. I'm gonna tell you that I
Speaker 3: did that show too, and that was weird. That was wild.
Speaker 3: You do become the character a little bit.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're becoming the character?
Speaker 3: I'm becoming a character. I'm not at the character. I
Speaker 3: need a little more time in this outfit to become
Speaker 3: the character.
Speaker 1: How are you feeling? You down to take a few more?
Speaker 1: What's your what's your brom? I don't want to keep
Speaker 1: you here for it?
Speaker 3: Oh it's late. I got to get home. You do
Speaker 3: one more more?
Speaker 1: Okay it. Let's let's see here, any any anything stepping
Speaker 1: out at you here. Let's let's look through the hanging
Speaker 1: on a second too fast.
Speaker 3: Uh oh jeez, somebody's are tough. Uh oh boy, uh
Speaker 3: my goodness. Uh oh. Let's do the sleep sex sleep
Speaker 3: sex h Hello? Sam? Hey, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 6: Sam?
Speaker 12: Cool to be the last fall at least of this.
Speaker 1: Cold, to have you those last.
Speaker 3: Thanks Sam. What's going on?
Speaker 12: Uh, nothing much, just been just been on hold for
Speaker 12: a while and anticipation.
Speaker 3: Well here we are, it's happened.
Speaker 1: Anticipate no more.
Speaker 3: The one let's go on, my tail is coming up.
Speaker 12: Just wants just something that I've wanted to talk to
Speaker 12: doctor Drew about for a while. So it's I don't
Speaker 12: know if it's technically a condition, but essentially so I
Speaker 12: I essentially have have sex in my sleep, like with
Speaker 12: with my partner. I initiate and I'll just say the
Speaker 12: word continue with sex without me completely asleep, without any
Speaker 12: knowledge of.
Speaker 3: So so you have complete just one that initiates. So
Speaker 3: hold on, do you have complete anesia? You never wake
Speaker 3: up in the middle of it or anything like that.
Speaker 12: I usually wake up in the middle of it just
Speaker 12: from like jostling or whatever. But and I have woken
Speaker 12: up to just like making out. But I've also woken
Speaker 12: up completely like in the middle of.
Speaker 3: Like okay, And how does your partner feel about this?
Speaker 12: Usually they do not realize until I wake up and
Speaker 12: I'm like, wait, what.
Speaker 3: Oh, and have you have you discussed this? What have
Speaker 3: you discussed this with them?
Speaker 12: Yeah? Yeah, yeah at length?
Speaker 3: Okay, So it's not like if somebody somebody's feeling somebody's
Speaker 3: feeling violated or raped or whatever. None of those kinds
Speaker 3: of feelings planned.
Speaker 12: Oh no, no, no, oh no, not in the slightest
Speaker 12: we have We've both discussed it at discussed it at length,
Speaker 12: and they they appear to be okay with at least
Speaker 12: we have discussed it. Okay, I personally have no problem
Speaker 12: with it.
Speaker 3: Okay, So so let's just talk about these This is
Speaker 3: this is a sleep disturbance. The way we think about
Speaker 3: it is essentially anything you do awake, you can do
Speaker 3: in your sleep. Literally anything. Uh, And this is sort
Speaker 3: of in the zone of sleep walking and sleep eating.
Speaker 3: Sleep sex is much more common than people realize. It's
Speaker 3: it's actually not at all uncommon, and it's it doesn't
Speaker 3: necessarily any treatment. Did you sleepwalk when you were a kid?
Speaker 12: I have sleptwalk my entire life. I've woken up in
Speaker 12: a variety of playing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so this is all part of that. And and
Speaker 3: you know, you could get a sleep study and see
Speaker 3: what's happening that you know that they can kind of
Speaker 3: evaluate it, and you know, do you really want to
Speaker 3: take medication because you're having sex with your partner and
Speaker 3: they're cool with it, you're cool with it? I don't know.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: And and did you have night terrors growing up?
Speaker 12: Never night terrors, although oddly enough, I have very weird
Speaker 12: reoccurring dreams. Usually they're different in some respect. And this
Speaker 12: is completely off of off the topic. But there were
Speaker 12: always zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not off topic, And it's.
Speaker 12: Always there was something weird about doors.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And would they would you sometimes wake up with
Speaker 3: a zombie lying on top of you and you couldn't move?
Speaker 12: Uh? That never happened. Although I have had sleep paralysis.
Speaker 3: For right, So sleep paralysis goes with this too, right,
Speaker 3: And hypnogoga hallucinations are common with sleeprouses. So you guys,
Speaker 3: you kind of have the full spectrum of sleepwalking. Really
Speaker 3: is really what it all is. It's like you're you're
Speaker 3: you're sleep cycling. I don't I'm not an expert in this,
Speaker 3: but essentially you don't wake up and go to sleep
Speaker 3: and ram normally you sort of going in and out
Speaker 3: of these things sort of in in some way that's
Speaker 3: not quite you know, consistent with going all the way
Speaker 3: to sleep and waking all the way up. You're in
Speaker 3: this sort of twilight hypnagogic state when you're doing and
Speaker 3: you start doing stuff, and that some people are just
Speaker 3: that way. I mean, I wouldn't worry about it. I
Speaker 3: I you can sometimes be associated with sort of seizure phenomenon.
Speaker 3: Probably the most responsible thing for me to tell you
Speaker 3: is like, well, go get to see a sleep doctor
Speaker 3: or sleep neurologists, particularly because again I'm not you know,
Speaker 3: rarely it could be a brain tumor and things like
Speaker 3: that as well, So it's irresponsible to say just blow
Speaker 3: it off. But but but the reality is, these things
Speaker 3: you know are just you know, kind of I won't
Speaker 3: even say unpleasant. There's normal variance, right so, and especially
Speaker 3: you have a partner that's into it and you're cool
Speaker 3: with it. I mean, that's more of the stuff I
Speaker 3: worry about. I worry about you falling, I worry about
Speaker 3: you viving. I worry about you you know, those sharp
Speaker 3: objects are eating when you don't want to eat, And
Speaker 3: I worry about the partner feeling out of control and violated. So, okay,
Speaker 3: do you.
Speaker 1: Enjoy any of these dreams like you find them thrilling?
Speaker 1: The zombie dreams, the zombie dreams, what's that?
Speaker 12: It's it's it's it's enjoyable to like wake up to it,
Speaker 12: like like oh okay, and then it's just continue.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, why not be so you continue when you
Speaker 1: wake up, they don't stop.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, they keep going there. They're good. Interesting. What
Speaker 3: better way to wake up? Is there a better way
Speaker 3: to wake up?
Speaker 12: I don't know, so I don't believe.
Speaker 3: All right, man, that's very very interesting. But good luck
Speaker 3: to you, Sam, Sam, all right. Now we're done. Now
Speaker 3: we're done. Now we're done. It's been a privilege, I
Speaker 3: particularly with the world out there that you you bring in.
Speaker 3: And I love the fact that the lot of them
Speaker 3: I'm from, a lot of them are what we call mommies.
Speaker 3: They come from your mom's house, and this big overlap
Speaker 3: evidently between our world.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to hear it. Man, it's been This is
Speaker 1: like a master class watching you take these calls. You know,
Speaker 1: It's it's been super cool.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 3: I'm honored that you came on my pleasure. Thank you
Speaker 3: for doing this. You clearly have an audience that loves
Speaker 3: you and wants to chat with you, and that's a
Speaker 3: lot of you know, digital streaming stuff is people want
Speaker 3: to hang out and talk and you give them that chance.
Speaker 3: So good for you, Thank you, man. I appreciate it.
Speaker 3: And the gecko part I'm still not totally sold on.
Speaker 1: But no, OKAYR it's been two full hours and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Anything else to say about being a gecko? Final thoughts?
Speaker 3: Be kind to me out there on the internet. I
Speaker 3: try don't destroy getting memed memed and accept it well
Speaker 3: and just be kind.
Speaker 8: You know.
Speaker 3: I come to you here in peace dressed as a gecko,
Speaker 3: and and that's my commitment to you all, and to
Speaker 3: you too, but most of your audience, I'm willing to
Speaker 3: do this to sit in.
Speaker 1: The cool I don't think I don't think they'll have
Speaker 1: a Are you worried about a spin on it of
Speaker 1: some kind that is dark?
Speaker 3: I'm worried that, uh, it will emerge someday when I'm
Speaker 3: trying to do something very serious and people, This is
Speaker 3: the thing. I it's people. When your physicians, you're not
Speaker 3: allowed to do anything unusual. And and I've always sort
Speaker 3: of pushed that envelope. A little bit is evidence. Today
Speaker 3: is evidence and you're and christ is here.
Speaker 1: And I can't shout out to Christa for putting this.
Speaker 3: I can't say no to Christa. There is no saying
Speaker 3: you'll learn this. There's no saying Notachrista. So that's unless
Speaker 3: I'm here.
Speaker 1: It's been a hont great talk.
Speaker 3: Thank you man, pleasure, thank you so much.
Speaker 8: Goes on the line.
Speaker 3: Ever teaching you.
Speaker 8: Boo boo boo boo boo boo, boof boof boof