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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, it's Lyle. I just want to give a

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Speaker 1: quick heads up about a couple of things before we

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: The first thing is that I have a new schedule

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Speaker 1: of how I'm going to be doing the podcast. I

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Speaker 1: believe what we're gonna start doing is posting twice a

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Speaker 1: week with shorter episodes. Ideally, we're gonna be doing one

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Speaker 1: a week where it's just me, and then one a

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Speaker 1: week where it's the guest. So that's twice a week,

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Speaker 1: one just me, one with the guest. In the event

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Speaker 1: that there I don't have a guest booked that week,

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Speaker 1: it'll just be two shorter episodes that are just me.

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Speaker 1: So think you know, two one hours, forty five minutes,

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Speaker 1: hour and a half, whatever it is. But I just

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Speaker 1: want to let you guys know that that moving forward,

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Speaker 1: they will be more get content available.

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Speaker 3: For your ears.

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Speaker 1: If you've already listened to all of the back catalog,

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Speaker 1: you know, I do this podcast out of my stream

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Speaker 1: and I stream for about two hours twice a week,

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Speaker 1: And ideally my schedules is gonna be I'm gonna take

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Speaker 1: those streams and I'm gonna cut each one down and

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Speaker 1: put each of them up as a podcast each week,

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Speaker 1: and we will have more audio gecko words from my

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Speaker 1: mouth and the caller's mouths and the guests mouths and

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Speaker 1: everyone's mouths all coming together to spit words and sentences

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Speaker 1: into your ears. Okay, that's the first thing. The second

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Speaker 1: thing is I want to introduce the guest for this

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Speaker 1: evening because it's a very very special episode. And I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you, guys why. My guest for this episode is

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Speaker 1: doctor Drew Pinsky. So the reason why this is so

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Speaker 1: freaking cool is that doctor Drew Pinsky, along with Adam Carolla,

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Speaker 1: was the host of a very popular old school radio

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Speaker 1: call in show called Loveline, which has been going on

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Speaker 1: since like nineteen eighty four, and it was it was

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Speaker 1: huge in the nineties and the early two thousands, and

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Speaker 1: it was kind of like the show basically was doctor

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Speaker 1: Drew and Adam Carolla doing essentially the same thing that

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Speaker 1: I do on this show, where they take inquiries from

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Speaker 1: callers about various subject matter relating to various topics. And

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Speaker 1: this episode was so cool because doctor Drew, first of all,

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Speaker 1: is a actual bored, certified doctor who has actual knowledge,

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Speaker 1: decades of knowledge to draw from when he's taking these

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Speaker 1: calls and he's just been in radio and TV and

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Speaker 1: podcasting for thirty years. And this episode was really cool

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Speaker 1: because I feel like Therapy Gecko in a way is

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Speaker 1: like a spiritual successor to a lot of what doctor

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Speaker 1: Drew was doing on Loveline, except he was doing it

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Speaker 1: as a actual certified medicine guy and I'm doing it,

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Speaker 1: you know, as a gecko. So it was just very

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Speaker 1: cool to hear him give these callers very well thought

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Speaker 1: out responses to their questions. And you know, we took

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Speaker 1: calls on this podcast that I wouldn't normally take because

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Speaker 1: some of them were a little heavy, and I typically

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Speaker 1: try to stray away from heavy stuff. And it's interesting

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Speaker 1: because a lot of the time what I do on

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Speaker 1: this show is like I'll just talk to people like

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Speaker 1: through whatever it is that that they've got going on.

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Speaker 1: Whereas doctor Drew, he has like actual answers to people's

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Speaker 1: inquiries that he can give via all this information that

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Speaker 1: he has in his head. Is an actual doctor. So

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Speaker 1: thank you again to doctor Drew Pinsky for coming. For

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Speaker 1: those of you who don't know who he is, I'm

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Speaker 1: happy for this podcast to be your first introduction to

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Speaker 1: him and let's get into it, doctor Drew.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, buddy, how are you feeling odd?

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Speaker 1: Odd? Tell me more.

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Speaker 3: Well, one part of me feels like I'm breathing in

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Speaker 3: asbestos because of the mouth. Another part feels like this

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Speaker 3: is so comfortable that I want to go to sleep

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Speaker 3: right now, like pajamas. Uh. And of course there's humiliation

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Speaker 3: certain a certain amount of the uh and uh. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: happy to be here. Beautiful it makes and it makes

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Speaker 3: me look like my posture is bad. Really, yeah, look

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Speaker 3: at that. My posture is no good? Do you It

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Speaker 3: looks bad too, makes us both look like.

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Speaker 1: I actually wanted to I was. I was telling you beforehand.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of aspects of this that I am

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Speaker 1: afraid and I'm glad I can talk to you about

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Speaker 1: this because a doctor. There's a lot of aspects about

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Speaker 1: this whole thing that I am afraid of. How they

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Speaker 1: will in the future, how.

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Speaker 3: You'll be remembered, what will say in your tombstone.

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Speaker 1: Like how they'll like affect my health, like the posture like.

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Speaker 3: You said that, pain and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like the paint like I I really have.

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Speaker 3: To worry about it. But yes, worthy of concern.

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Speaker 1: Okay, We're they're good because I you know, I've I've

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Speaker 1: been doing about a year and a half and I'm

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Speaker 1: wondering how much longer can I go before some skin

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Speaker 1: issues developed.

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Speaker 3: The makeup is designed not to hurt you unless you've

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Speaker 3: got some something in here that I'm not aware of,

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Speaker 3: some some silver and with some product in there that

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Speaker 3: I should be scared of. Usually it's not unless you

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Speaker 3: get this ship from Europe or something.

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Speaker 1: It's a talk based pain.

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Speaker 3: Oh I see, is that is that bad? I hurt?

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Speaker 3: Mostly it's ovarian cancer, So I don't know get gos?

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Speaker 3: Are they they have sex? Secondly, they are they I'm

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Speaker 3: afrodd hemaphroditic or are they come in different sexes?

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Speaker 1: I do not have any uh over We're probably about stuff.

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Speaker 3: You're good, Okay, you should be good.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So doctor, do I mean what has been what

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Speaker 1: has been the most persistent thought on your mind lately?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 3: When are we going to get out of all this

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Speaker 3: COVID nonsense? Okay, that's a good one. Uh when are

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Speaker 3: we going to be sort of returned to normal? And

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Speaker 3: I think people if the super Bowl is any evidence

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Speaker 3: see what uncomfortable these chairs are that the super Bowl

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Speaker 3: is any evidence I think people are ready to go.

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Speaker 3: People are ready to get out and do things. And

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Speaker 3: you know, here I'm sitting in a green outfit.

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Speaker 1: We're doing a thing right now. We're pretty close to

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Speaker 1: each other.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think about it. Of course, I've

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Speaker 3: had COVID twice and I've been vaccinated and I'm about

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Speaker 3: as immune as you can get.

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Speaker 1: Is there a thing in particular that you want to

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Speaker 1: do that COVID is stopping you from?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 3: No, that's it's funny you would ask that, because I

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Speaker 3: kind of have that conversation by self periodically. It's like,

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Speaker 3: what is it you want to do you're not doing right?

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Speaker 3: I'd like to fly an airplane without a mask. I'd

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Speaker 3: like to do that.

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Speaker 1: Well, if you're eating the peanuts, it's like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but they are on you now you have to

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Speaker 3: put it up between bites. It's really weird. So even

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Speaker 3: though I would like, here's what I would like, I

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Speaker 3: would the other thing I p occupied it is how

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Speaker 3: how far we are from the science and how the

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Speaker 3: clinical You know that the clinical people have not been

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Speaker 3: involved in guiding this this mess, and it's just been

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Speaker 3: a disaster.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I feel like I'm not paying enough attention

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Speaker 1: to what's going on.

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Speaker 3: I'm just if you can avoid all that's going on

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Speaker 3: out there, you'll feel better.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you, you know, I mean, this

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Speaker 1: is what we're doing talking to people on the phone

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Speaker 1: and so, and this is your whole life for thirty years.

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Speaker 1: Are you exhausted after thirty years of no? Everyone's everything?

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Speaker 3: No, Because I love people and I find their problems fascinating.

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Speaker 3: And every time I'm talking to somebody for whom it

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Speaker 3: is important, you know what I mean, they find it important,

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Speaker 3: So I find it important by you know, by being

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Speaker 3: compelled by their feeling states and no, and I learned

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Speaker 3: new things even now. I mean I haven't heard everything.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I've heard everything, but I'm sure I haven't.

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Speaker 3: And I get a little troubled when there's no structure

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Speaker 3: to the relationship and somebody who backs me into the

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Speaker 3: candy section at the seven eleven with some crazy questions

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Speaker 3: right right, And I feel bad because there's no beginning, middle,

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Speaker 3: and end. And usually the kinds of question they're asking

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Speaker 3: would take to help them with. Let's see, they have

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Speaker 3: like three minutes with them, take about seven years to

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Speaker 3: actually make a difference.

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Speaker 1: Does that happen to a lot. You'll get ambushed by people.

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Speaker 1: It will be like, hey, I need you right this

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Speaker 1: experiment and this candy aisle? Oh yeah, concept and what

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Speaker 1: is your polite way of is?

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Speaker 3: I feel bad about it every time I have to

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Speaker 3: say these are these are complex issues. This is not

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Speaker 3: you know, the abbaz abba bars are right here. This

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Speaker 3: is not the right environment for doing anything. But I'll

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Speaker 3: usually make some suggestions. You hope you have this kind

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Speaker 3: of doctor and just some suggestions and that's that.

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Speaker 1: So, I mean, what do you feel like if somebody

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Speaker 1: comes to you and you feel like you can't help them?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how often that happens.

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Speaker 3: What depends you mean by can't help and they're going

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Speaker 3: to die? That that happens. People get certain illnesses that

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Speaker 3: you know happens a lot. Then you talk about how

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Speaker 3: to die and how to make it dignified. You how

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Speaker 3: do you die dignified? It depends on you know, what

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Speaker 3: that person's desires are, and you know, it's really trying

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Speaker 3: to get people into acceptance about what the reality is.

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Speaker 3: And it's hard, it's very very hard, and oftentimes a

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Speaker 3: family too, Are you really going to go down this

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Speaker 3: path the family too. Can't people avoid grief? People will

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Speaker 3: do anything to avoid grief. That's probably the most number

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Speaker 3: one problem in mental health. One of the reasons people

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Speaker 3: don't change is in order to change, you have to

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Speaker 3: a certain party, you have to go away or die,

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Speaker 3: and a new part has to emerge. There's a certain

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Speaker 3: amount of grief that goes on with real growth. Always,

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Speaker 3: people will do anything not to feel grief, and certainly

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Speaker 3: when actually somebody you love is dying, then they'll do anything,

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Speaker 3: and they'll just won't. They won't deal with reality, they

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Speaker 3: won't accept it, and that can be very problematic.

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Speaker 1: Do you have you taken the time to go through

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Speaker 1: your own acceptance of mortality.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I've been saying forever that COVID should have given

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Speaker 3: us the opportunity to talk about that. People should have

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Speaker 3: really thought about it, because for instance, just something like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, these people in nursing homes are dying, Well,

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Speaker 3: that's terrible. Shn't get me wrong, it is awful. But

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Speaker 3: the average life expectancy for a male after admission to

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Speaker 3: a nursing home is six months always, and if you

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Speaker 3: need institutional care, meaning people to turn more than one

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Speaker 3: person to turn, you feed, you wipe your ass. You

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Speaker 3: should really be talking to your family about whether you

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Speaker 3: want to ever be in a nursing home. I don't never.

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Speaker 3: I will die quietly at home before just to extend

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Speaker 3: my life three months, four months, six months with people

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Speaker 3: having to lift it sounds it's just terrible. I would never.

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Speaker 3: I mean, who knows when you get there?

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Speaker 1: Of course, do you have to give an age you're

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Speaker 1: going for, like you're a goal in mind.

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Speaker 3: I'd love to get in my mid eighties.

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Speaker 1: Mid eighties.

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Speaker 3: That'd be great.

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Speaker 1: That feels like a good amount of you know, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't want to do like one hundred.

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Speaker 3: Nineties for man, it's just I mean, there is a

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Speaker 3: ninety year old out there that is amazing. His name

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Speaker 3: is William Shatner. He is amazing ninety. I think he's

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Speaker 3: ninety now, well, hell does he know? Maybe I'm over

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Speaker 3: doing it? Can you look it up? But he's he's

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Speaker 3: up there and he's fantastic. I mean, he inspires you.

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Speaker 3: But you know, he's been to space and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like there is something to being

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Speaker 1: at that age and being so he's really ninety?

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Speaker 7: Is this?

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Speaker 1: He looks damn good for Nineties's amazing.

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Speaker 3: He's the loveliest man you ever meet. His brain is

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Speaker 3: quicker than mine, and he's curious about everything, and he's

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Speaker 3: got vitality. It's just if if I could be that

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Speaker 3: dad in ninety, I'll go to one hundred. Thank you,

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Speaker 3: that'd be great. I mean, so right now, at how

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Speaker 3: old you sixty three?

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're you're gonna get there?

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Speaker 7: No?

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Speaker 3: Sometimes I do, Sometimes I don't. I've had rational, screwed

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Speaker 3: up medical problems lately. Prouse, they cancer, diverticul itis, all

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Speaker 3: kinds of lovely things.

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Speaker 1: I mean, who do you go to when you you're

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Speaker 1: a guy who you know? People come to you with

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Speaker 1: their problems? Who do you go to when you have problems?

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Speaker 5: All?

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Speaker 6: Right?

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Speaker 3: Therapy? For many, many years it was the best thing ever.

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Speaker 3: Did it really put Billy shake me up to be

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Speaker 3: a good mental health professional?

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Speaker 5: Uh?

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Speaker 3: And then I have an internist, and I have a

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Speaker 3: radio therapist, and I have an urologist and all that stuff.

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Speaker 3: You know, we use medical services in my house.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry, beautiful, well listen, folks. Uh, doctor Drew is Uh.

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Speaker 1: This is the first time we've had an actual licensed.

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Speaker 3: Physician physician addressed as a gecko, which I addresses a

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Speaker 3: GEcho medical person, which and speaking of which, Actually, are

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Speaker 3: there any ethical issues that that this creates for us?

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Speaker 3: Are we are we h adopting a cultural are we

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Speaker 3: co opting some cultural or oh like green face a problem?

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Speaker 8: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you meant ethical issues of Uh well,

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Speaker 1: I guess me giving unlicensed whatever.

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Speaker 3: I won't even get. That's too deep for me even go.

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Speaker 3: I'm just wondering by appropriating the gecko community is green

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Speaker 3: face and issue?

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm a geckos, I'm allowed to do green face,

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Speaker 1: and you're also a gecko now, which makes you allowed

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Speaker 1: to do green face.

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Speaker 3: Which is interesting. So so once you become it, you

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Speaker 3: just are it.

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Speaker 1: There is you know, the thing about echos, not a

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Speaker 1: whole lot of gatekeeping in the community. It's very easy

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Speaker 1: to declare yourself.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you want to lead. They need some more. It's

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Speaker 3: because they're afraid. They're afraid to declare their gender identity,

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Speaker 3: their sexuality. Maybe you could be a leader in this.

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Speaker 1: I would, I would, I would love to speak on behalf.

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Speaker 3: Of all of that. Good. Let's see what happens. That'd

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Speaker 3: be great.

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Speaker 1: Let's see what we got here. Hello, Laura, Laura, how

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Speaker 1: you doing it? Says here that you want to ask

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Speaker 1: about how to trust while you're in love. I think

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Speaker 1: you're struggling with trust in your current relationship. You wanta

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Speaker 1: tell us more about that?

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Speaker 9: Yeah, dude, let's.

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Speaker 5: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 6: Do you have any like questions like building me up first?

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Speaker 1: Any questions building up?

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Speaker 5: What?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 9: Like, well to like understand kind of like the backstory, like.

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Speaker 3: Well, sure, okay, I'll get to it. Please, all right,

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Speaker 3: I'll get to it. Uh. Did you know your dad?

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Speaker 10: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And did he leave at any point?

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Speaker 8: Oh?

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Speaker 3: No, he never abandoned you. No, So your parents are

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Speaker 3: still together?

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Speaker 10: Yeah?

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Speaker 9: Yeah?

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Speaker 8: What is.

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Speaker 3: Okay? And their relationship their relationship together? And is any

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Speaker 3: drinking or drug use or anything like that?

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Speaker 8: No?

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Speaker 9: Not really, like they drink like regular old people.

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Speaker 3: Okay, and held hell okay, I got it? And hell

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Speaker 3: dore you.

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Speaker 9: I'm twenty one.

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Speaker 3: And have you had problematic relationships in the past where

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Speaker 3: people violated your trust?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Okay for sizzle for snizzle? And is it recent or

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Speaker 3: was it or has it been repeatedly one particularly bad one?

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Speaker 3: What's what's the deal.

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Speaker 9: I was with like a person for like let's say

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Speaker 9: like it was like three to like four years, I'd say,

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Speaker 9: and it was like really bad, like verbally abusive. All right,

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Speaker 9: I'm not even sure exactly exactly what like gaslighting is,

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Speaker 9: but I guess like all.

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Speaker 3: Right, and did your parents your parents? Did you did

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Speaker 3: you have any trauma or abuse when you were growing up?

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Speaker 3: I don't, I don't think So, Okay, these are simple questions.

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Speaker 3: I'm not I'm just trying to get, as you said,

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Speaker 3: what are the questions to kind of frame this thing?

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Speaker 3: Those are the questions. So here's the deal. Uh, you

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Speaker 3: need to get back out there and start rebuilding your

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Speaker 3: trust in other people. I don't know why you got

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Speaker 3: in this essentially domestic abuse situation. You might want to

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Speaker 3: look at the look at the cycle of domestic abuse.

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Speaker 3: Just google that you want to read maybe p melodies

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Speaker 3: work about codependency and boundary issues in relationships and people

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Speaker 3: that sabotage relationships, which what you're doing. Now I've been

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Speaker 3: in the past you went into quickly. Right, I've.

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Speaker 5: Two relationships, But did.

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Speaker 3: You did you kind of jump into them? Did you?

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Speaker 3: Did you wear your heart on your sleeves? So to speak? Yeah? So,

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Speaker 3: and now you've gone the other side, which is now

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Speaker 3: your now your love avoidance, now your love avoidance. You

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Speaker 3: don't trust, You're sabotaging things when they do get close.

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Speaker 3: Go go read p melodies literature, okay, and learn about

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Speaker 3: what you're doing and if you have not if you

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Speaker 3: really have had a decent if your parents p a melody,

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Speaker 3: and if you're really you know, have had no trauma,

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Speaker 3: and your relationships for good growing up and stuff with

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Speaker 3: your primary your family of origin. This should be something

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Speaker 3: you can handle. Okay, yeah, all right, go read those books.

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Speaker 3: Thank you? Lay this music playing? Can can the audience here?

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Speaker 1: That means oh yeah, yeah they can.

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Speaker 3: It's fantastic.

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Speaker 1: You really have been doing this for thirty years?

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Speaker 8: What?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I just I you know typically uh nice.

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Speaker 3: Oh I've been doing this for thirty yeah. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's almost like I know what I'm doing, is what

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Speaker 3: you're saying? Oh yeah, totally almost. Yeah yeah yeah. What

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Speaker 3: was that book you told her in melody? It's actually

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Speaker 3: actually the classic when I recommended something called Overcoming Love Addiction.

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Speaker 3: Overcoming Love Addiction. She's looking it up right now.

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Speaker 1: Over So you so you okay, so you've, as you said,

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Speaker 1: heard almost everything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you feel like so.

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Speaker 1: So have you heard people give that exact name, same issue.

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Speaker 1: You know, I have trust issues, you know a thousand times?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, but I have trust you. It's very vague.

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Speaker 3: That's very vague. Her thing is she she has? You know,

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Speaker 3: there's very all kinds of ways to frame what you

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Speaker 3: know and think about what she has. But what's suitable

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Speaker 3: for sort of you know, transmission and consumption across a

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Speaker 3: when I'm dressed green and we're using the internet. It's

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Speaker 3: you know, you can't get into deep dynamics about these things,

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Speaker 3: but the basic phenomena can be understood as codependency, boundary issues, love, addiction.

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Speaker 3: There's various ways of sort of talking about it and

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Speaker 3: thinking about it, and there's some good literature out there

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Speaker 3: about now. If you can't, if you can't relate, if

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Speaker 3: you can't get back into closes, people need work, love

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Speaker 3: and play right, and if they if you can't or

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Speaker 3: you can't function, if you have trouble functioning work, you

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Speaker 3: have trouble getting having relationships. That's and you can't manage

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Speaker 3: it yourself, that's when you need therapy.

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Speaker 1: So, I mean a lot of the times, you know

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Speaker 1: the fact that you're able to just gain so much

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Speaker 1: of a read on people within pretty quick amount of time.

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Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people they feel as

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Speaker 1: though their situation is so complex, so unique, that they're like,

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Speaker 1: oh wait, but I have to tell you this detail

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Speaker 1: a way.

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Speaker 3: But I have to tell you yeah, yeah, yeah, and

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Speaker 3: and there are everyone is unique, and there are unique

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Speaker 3: elements to everybody's story. But but in terms of what

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Speaker 3: you can do in a single encounter and all that

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Speaker 3: stuff kind of so when when you know this thing,

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Speaker 3: when you walk in a room as a physician, you

393
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 3: almost can smell what's going on you, you know, like

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Speaker 3: in the first it drives people crazy because why don't

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Speaker 3: you spend more time with me. It's like I knew

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Speaker 3: a minute thirty and well, exactly what was going on here?

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Speaker 3: Because you've seen it. We've seen everything. There's nothing you

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Speaker 3: haven't seen them if you've if you're practicing medicine, and

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Speaker 3: and then you kind of know what to do and

400
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 3: where to start. Now not necessarily gonna be able to

401
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 3: solve everything after it's it's the session of process, and

402
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,800
Speaker 3: we will and it will morph and change. We will

403
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Speaker 3: learn things as we go, which is why doctors have

404
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 3: to follow up and stay on top of things. But

405
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,640
Speaker 3: in terms of starting it out and kind of knowing

406
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Speaker 3: what's going on, that's a pretty quick assessed. It's pretty

407
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,119
Speaker 3: quick to do that. So what else we got here?

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Speaker 1: Hey, Chris? Yeah Chris, It says he you're not sure

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Speaker 1: what to do with your life. You currently run a

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Speaker 1: shoe business, you want to be an actor, and you're

411
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Speaker 1: not sure how to make it.

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Speaker 3: You're twenty one. Oh man, I I this is a

413
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,439
Speaker 3: We could have a giant conversation about this because what well,

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00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 3: Chris tell us your story first. But I'm gonna bet

415
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 3: Chris is gonna articulate something that is generationally unique and

416
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,120
Speaker 3: exceedingly common right now. Yeah, not everyone wants to dress

417
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 3: up as a get go and talk on the internet.

418
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Speaker 3: Not everyone. I know.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to match, but let's see what he has.

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Speaker 11: Go ahead, Chris, all right, So I'm pretty much I'm

421
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Speaker 11: twenty one. I get a I get paid to run

422
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Speaker 11: a shoe company called the Kicks. You buy the train

423
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 11: and take use shoes in and I've been doing it

424
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Speaker 11: for like six years at this point, because I was

425
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Speaker 11: like fifteen. Wow, I am at the point in my

426
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Speaker 11: life Roger, just like I want to do something else.

427
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 3: Good for you? First of all, Yeah, I do know

428
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 3: what you mean. And it's good for you for for

429
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 3: starting young and taking it seriously and having a essentially

430
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 3: a business at the age of lateeen. That's yeah. And

431
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 3: is it is the problem? It's not, no, I understand,

432
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 3: but still it's it's it's you're you're ahead of your

433
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:25,200
Speaker 3: peers already. And so the question is, is the problem

434
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 3: that you just have a free floating desire to make

435
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 3: a change and any change will do, or you can't

436
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 3: figure out what it is you want to do.

437
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Speaker 11: I just like, don't know what I really want to do.

438
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,159
Speaker 11: Guy for years, always want to become like an actor

439
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 11: or something like that.

440
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, well what kind of actor? Comedy, drama, what's your

441
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: what's your preferred genre?

442
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing about dreams and fantasies, Uh, they

443
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 3: have to align with reality, Okay. And so one one

444
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 3: of the things I've noticed about people in their twenties

445
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 3: is they have lots of big ideas that are wonderful,

446
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 3: but aren't they don't get started, or they aren't steeped

447
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 3: in any reality or really even know what the what

448
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 3: it would be like because they've never done it. So

449
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,959
Speaker 3: if if you're gonna your whole life harbor this desire

450
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 3: to have been an actor and regret whatever else it

451
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 3: is you do, that would not be good, so that

452
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 3: the trick would be to go where do you live,

453
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 3: as you say, over there, Columbus, Ohio. I mean there's

454
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 3: I'm sure there's a big school there, and you know

455
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,119
Speaker 3: there's a you know, there's got to be a big

456
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 3: theater community. Go go do some theater and see if

457
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 3: you really actually do like it, and do some and

458
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 3: do some acting classes, and somebody who really likes that

459
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 3: won't want to do anything else. They'll just that's all

460
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 3: they'll want to do. They'll just be in and that'll

461
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 3: be that. And then how I do it, whether I'm

462
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,159
Speaker 3: successful won't matter as much as this is what I

463
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 3: must do and find out if you really like you

464
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 3: may not. The reality of it may be far far,

465
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,359
Speaker 3: far different than the fantasy.

466
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 1: I mean, what made you want to get into this

467
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 1: in the first place.

468
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 11: It was just like I like seeing them on TV,

469
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 11: like people being other people, you know what I mean,

470
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,959
Speaker 11: Like you see their personality when they on like a runway,

471
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 11: but like on movie they're Batman, you know what I mean.

472
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 11: Like that's interesting the scene, so I think somebody else.

473
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I had a little fantasy like that

474
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 3: when I was younger too, and and my fantasy was,

475
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 3: I like, I wanted to be I wanted to be

476
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 3: in the fan. I wanted to be in the in

477
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 3: the fun in the film. That wanted to be part

478
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 3: of what was going on there, not having any idea

479
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 3: what was actually going on. You know that that to

480
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 3: take that one shot of Batman just looking past the

481
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 3: camera takes nineteen guys setting up the lights.

482
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 1: Right, you're you're not in the film, you're on the

483
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 1: film sets.

484
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 3: You're not even there. You're in that trailer and you

485
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 3: come out, they light you, you go back, somebody else

486
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 3: comes out, you go back. You realize you go back.

487
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,399
Speaker 3: You never see the other actors. They're just taking a

488
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 3: cross shot at you. And it's a lot different. Now.

489
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 3: It might be something you really really like and be

490
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 3: really really fun. It is kind of fun and exciting

491
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 3: to be on these environments and they're creating something fascinating.

492
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 3: But I wanted to be in the creative process too.

493
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 3: I think that was part of my fantasy because I

494
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 3: still liked that part. I still like creating stuff it feel.

495
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 1: As though you've ascertained that goal.

496
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's I'm sorry, Chris, We're gonna we're

497
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 3: gonna talk like you're not here for a second. It's

498
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 3: I've noticed you have talked to a lot of people

499
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 3: and all kinds of entertainment businesses, and nobody seems to

500
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 3: be doing what they want to do. Musicians want to

501
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 3: be actors, Actors want to be producers want to be

502
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 3: rock stars. Producers want to be actors. I'm doing what

503
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 3: I want to do. I kind of feel like pretty

504
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 3: good about what I'm doing and I like it, and

505
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 3: it's it's fully integrate to who I am. And that's Chris.

506
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 3: That's the goal, Chris. The goal is to pull optimize

507
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 3: all the talents you have and integrate all the parts

508
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 3: of you and then do something with that that is

509
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 3: a real expression of that. Does that make sense?

510
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 1: I mean, Chris, Chris, Chris, you know, I mean yeah,

511
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 1: to what you were saying, like, you know, what, what

512
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 1: are all the different aspects of you? What's important to you?

513
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 1: I mean, what's your like? I mean, I I kind

514
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: of feel like I'm doing that right.

515
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,679
Speaker 3: It has to because you wouldn't. You wouldn't be dressed

516
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 3: up in the gecko otter otherwise.

517
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.

518
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 3: It's it speaks of of a creative connection to the process.

519
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 3: You gotta like it to do into it right committed,

520
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 3: you're into it, you like it, and uh and and

521
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 3: but you you didn't do it and then not like

522
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,360
Speaker 3: it you did it, you probably liked it more.

523
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: Oh I don't like it, you know sometimes and everything

524
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 1: to me, I know, that's a different thing, you know,

525
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 1: I mean every every like, everything you're gonna do, has

526
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: aspects of it that are unpleasant.

527
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 3: But you're right. Yeah, I guess, Well, then that means

528
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 3: you you should When people say stuff like that, I

529
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 3: always think you should have had a what did you

530
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 3: do before this? Uh funk? What did I do for? I?

531
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 1: Like, I produce comedy shows.

532
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,160
Speaker 3: So you got to do producing producing? Yeah you got

533
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 3: that's Chris. It's also important to have had a job

534
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 3: that was hard, because then you'll appreciate the other things

535
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 3: that are more creative and maybe not as arduous, you know,

536
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 3: in terms of you're already running a business, so I

537
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 3: mean you're you're you know, you're there kind of but Chris,

538
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 3: go do it, Go do it. God damn it.

539
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: Go do it, right, Chris, All right, are you moving

540
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 1: to Hollywood?

541
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 3: No, don't do a Hollywood yet. Go to go to

542
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,479
Speaker 3: acting classes, go to the nearest theater and get into production,

543
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 3: and then go to Hollywood. If somebody says you're good, yeah,

544
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 3: we'll find out if you like it, and then get

545
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 3: good at it. You gotta build it, I mean, you gotta,

546
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 3: you gotta, you gotta develop something some This is a

547
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 3: thing that people miss. You need skill and wisdom to

548
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 3: be to be able to contribute. Yes, you need both,

549
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 3: and if you come with neither, it's not going to

550
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 3: go very well. Well, Chris, skill is something developed, wisdom

551
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 3: is something developed. Now some people develop it very fast

552
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 3: because they're talented, right.

553
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: But you got you gotta jump into it.

554
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta do it.

555
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 1: Things we'll see in the picture.

556
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:03,959
Speaker 12: Chris.

557
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 3: Can't wait to see what you do. But I've got

558
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 3: to hear all the time Millennials they don't know what

559
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 3: they want to do this I don't want. They don't

560
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 3: know what to too many choices. It drives me crazy.

561
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: Actually, I want to hear more about what you were

562
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: saying about. You know, everyone you feel like their their dreams,

563
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 1: don't match up with with reality?

564
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 12: But do you?

565
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 3: But okay, well, you feel like dreams and reality? I

566
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 3: said two things. I said, everyone wants to be doing

567
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,120
Speaker 3: something other than they're doing sure, And then I said

568
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 3: people have fantasies and dreams that they don't even test

569
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: in reality, so they don't know whether.

570
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 1: Well that's like, you know, if you're a comedian, you imagine, oh,

571
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,239
Speaker 1: being a musician must be so great. If you're a musician, Oh,

572
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 1: being a comedian, like the grass is always greener on inside,

573
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: whatever is you do?

574
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 3: That's right? Yeah, that that But but I think I

575
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 3: think sometimes people like go in wanting to be an

576
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 3: actor and then become a producer and always harbor this

577
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 3: sort of oh I should have what if I had,

578
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 3: you know? And and same thing with musicians. They probably

579
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 3: saw somebody on TV like Chris and thought I'll be

580
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 3: fun to be in that I'm a loser, I'll learn

581
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 3: to play the guitar. Okay, and that's it.

582
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 1: But you know, when you're when you're talking about like

583
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: dreams that aren't sustainable with reality, don't you feel like

584
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: if you're like nineteen or twenty one or whatever, like

585
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: now's the time to fuck up. Yes to go be

586
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 1: broke on the street, do what fucking.

587
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 3: And and but you're missing I think you're missing my

588
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 3: what I'm trying to emphasize, which is test reality. Yes,

589
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 3: don't just stay up in your head thinking about how

590
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 3: great it's gonna be. Go do it and find out

591
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 3: if it's what you like. So we're telling Chris, find

592
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 3: out if it's what you like, find out if it's

593
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 3: if you're good at it, and if you're not, how

594
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 3: how committed are you to get better? Go do it?

595
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 3: If you if you're gonna be able to declare yourself

596
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 3: a writer and never sit down and write a word.

597
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 3: That same through Chris. He's wanting to be an actor

598
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 3: but never been into production. No, no, no, that's not good.

599
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 6: Go do it?

600
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 3: To Anne?

601
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 12: And and is that you hello?

602
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 10: Yes?

603
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 4: Oh God?

604
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 3: And how you doing.

605
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: I'm here with doctor Drew And it says here you

606
00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: would like to do more anal but you have a

607
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: lot of hemorrhoids.

608
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 2: M h, well it's not it's it's not like a lot.

609
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 10: But I've had a history with it in the past

610
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 10: to the point where it hinders me from you know, making.

611
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 13: The decision to.

612
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 3: Try it right, And were you pregnant or anything when

613
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 3: you had the hemorrhoids.

614
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no, no, I just sh a lot.

615
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: You just shipped a lot.

616
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 10: So what you said, I mean I'm being no yeah, yeah,

617
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:35,479
Speaker 10: I like I don't know why, but I shit at

618
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 10: least three times a day, all right, the.

619
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 3: Health, that's right, it's no, there's no there's an yeah,

620
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 3: there's no shit standard.

621
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: I thought there totally was no no.

622
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 3: Uh and so so, but do you've never been pregnant? Correct? No, no, no, okay,

623
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 3: And how were you when you first started noticing hemorrhoids.

624
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 10: I think I was about like nineteen.

625
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 3: Okay, do they bleed?

626
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 7: So?

627
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 14: Yeah?

628
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, I mean it was enough. I went I

629
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 10: had to get like like a minor colonoscopy, not like

630
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 10: the whole thing, but the whole thing where like a whole.

631
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 3: Camera, right, what's called a sigmoid. So all right, and

632
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 3: they saw the hemorrhoids and they were internal hemorrhoids, external hemorrhoids. Both.

633
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 10: You know, it was external.

634
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 4: It wasn't that bad.

635
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 10: I just ate a bunch of fiber and like it

636
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 10: kind of went away.

637
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 3: But it's a continuous problem, right, Well, anal is not

638
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 3: gonna make it better, okay, And if you do it

639
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 3: lots of lube. Uh and if it hurts, stop and

640
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 3: if it bleeds afterwards, don't do it again. And you

641
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 3: might try, you know, some sort of graduated device something

642
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 3: to kind of help, you know, ease things up down

643
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 3: there a little bit. You know what I'm saying?

644
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, are you sugguesching? She practiced with.

645
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 3: A of some kind then and graduated like small bit okay, sure,

646
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 3: and not even practiced so much as I gotta go ahead,

647
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 3: you you gotta.

648
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 4: I gotta, I gotta, I gotta like, you know, like

649
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 4: a butt plug to try to like ease it.

650
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 3: Out a little bit, right, That's what I'm talking about.

651
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 4: I hadn't, I hadn't used it in a while because

652
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 4: last time I did it there was like a minor

653
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 4: incident and it hit my boyfriend.

654
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 10: In the balls.

655
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you're the best. Uh well, here's to

656
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 3: and for for courage and fortitude and persistence. Oh absolutely,

657
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 3: and gets the award today.

658
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: And uh you know who I mean, who's more interested

659
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: in having antle sacks between you and your boy That's.

660
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 3: That's I was gonna go down that path, So go ahead, answer,

661
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 3: So you know it.

662
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 4: Started off, it's more like him being were interested in it,

663
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 4: and then like the more you know, things got involved

664
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 4: with it, the more I actually like started liking it.

665
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 4: And I guess, you know, I don't like you know,

666
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 4: I guess like the weird you know, like part about

667
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 4: it is. I guess like I saw this like comedy

668
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 4: thing and it was like, you know, I like anal

669
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 4: because I should a lot. And I was like, well,

670
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 4: I was like that kind of makes sense.

671
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 1: You know, that sounds dumb, but what you said, you

672
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: saw a comedy thing. You said that made you want

673
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 1: to do like yeah, yeah, so.

674
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 2: Like yeah, no.

675
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 4: I was watching this stand up comedian chick and she

676
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 4: was talking about how she just was she like ships

677
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 4: a lot and then she tried anal and she was

678
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 4: like it's so great because like I should a lot

679
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 4: so much. And she was like, I love it so

680
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 4: much because I should so much.

681
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 3: What did Nicki Glazer say?

682
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 2: Now?

683
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 3: What did Nikki say? Now? What did she say? On

684
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 3: the joke? And good good luck to you? And uh

685
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 3: and white Friend as well also Ali Wong. These days,

686
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: she is getting deep into the paint with her sexual content.

687
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 3: Have you seen her new Netflix special I No I haven't.

688
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: It's it's a raunch fest.

689
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 3: It is on. Yeah, good for her, and she does

690
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 3: it with with very very bold clarity.

691
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: Sophia. Hello, Sofia. It says here that you just started

692
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: pegging your boyfriend and you want advice on this situation.

693
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: When you say advice, so you're talking about how to

694
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: do this safely, how to do this effectively, how to

695
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 1: do this for maximum pleasure.

696
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 15: Well, I can't say I'm an expert on the topic yet,

697
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 15: but yeah, be invested in.

698
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 12: A it's a strap on.

699
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 15: It's like a insert vibrator and it's like I have

700
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 15: the pick, you know, I have the power.

701
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 16: And yeah, it was fun.

702
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 15: It was new territories.

703
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 1: Okay, see that at once.

704
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,840
Speaker 3: Is there a question here or you just need to declare,

705
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 3: declare to the world.

706
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 15: Well, it's kind of complicated. I guess I just wanted

707
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 15: to hear perspectives on how I'm feeling, because after this

708
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 15: situation happened, I was like, hmm, what does this mean

709
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 15: sexuality wise for.

710
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 3: Him for him and then for him, or for for

711
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 3: you and for him. That's both of you. So you're

712
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 3: wondering what do you want about yourself?

713
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 15: Well, well, okay, we're both bisexual, So you're wondering.

714
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 3: You're wondering if you would rather do this behavior with

715
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 3: a female. Yeah, okay, well we can't answer that. That's

716
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 3: that's up to you exactly. As far as his sexuality, no,

717
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 3: it does not mean anything. It really doesn't. I know

718
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 3: people will argue about this, but it really doesn't. So

719
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 3: he likes being pegged, okay, good times. Okay, but you're

720
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 3: you're the one. You're the one left with the question

721
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 3: marks about how you know? Where am I going to

722
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 3: take this? Right?

723
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: Is he is this situation making him feel any sort

724
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 1: of questioning about his gender identity or sexuality?

725
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 15: I asked him and he said no. But also like

726
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 15: he like when we were having sex, he like wanted

727
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 15: me to call him a female, and so that was

728
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,399
Speaker 15: like something that I wasn't expecting, and so I asked

729
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 15: him about it afterwards, but it was just like something

730
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 15: he did in sex, and.

731
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: So it was just kind of like, huh, I mean,

732
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: is that is that pose some sort of issue for you?

733
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 6: No?

734
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 15: No, it does not pauses an issue.

735
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 3: She likes it. It's just all kinds of question marks

736
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,439
Speaker 3: all over the place, and everything means something. Let's be fair,

737
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 3: But It doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't necessarily mean anything

738
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 3: that you should be thinking worried about, you know what

739
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 3: I mean? I cannot you know, if he's gay, he

740
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 3: will like to have sex with men, if he has

741
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 3: a if his gender identity is unclear for him right now,

742
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 3: that will clarify hopefully for him with time. Okay, do

743
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:55,839
Speaker 3: that makes sense?

744
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 8: Yeah?

745
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 3: I think you're fine. You're the least stick with some

746
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 3: of your own question marks. You know what am What

747
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 3: am I going to do with this paper that I

748
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 3: seem to be into right now?

749
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 8: Like?

750
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 3: What do I want to do?

751
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 2: Her?

752
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 3: Right?

753
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 1: It's the whole thing. If she's taking into account what's

754
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 1: going on, you know, her question marks and her partner's question.

755
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, his, don't worry about his his or his and

756
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 3: they're there. They I don't think they're even anything, frankly,

757
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 3: but but you're going to ask him about it. But

758
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 3: that's up to him. Those are his things, all right?

759
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 3: Thank you for calling?

760
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 1: Sofia.

761
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 3: Where is Sophia, Sophia, Where are you at? Where are you?

762
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 3: Where are you, Sofia?

763
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 15: I am in California, Okay.

764
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,320
Speaker 3: I just I just always like I'm just always curious

765
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 3: where people are calling from and just you know, it's

766
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 3: like to kind of picture are you picturing Sofia in California? Now?

767
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 3: I was thinking more mid Atlantic sort of stuff. Yeah,

768
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 3: thank you.

769
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:56,320
Speaker 1: Do you feel like do you do you think about

770
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: any of the people that ever call into your show?

771
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean like it does it haunt me?

772
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: Not even not even a haunt, but like you know,

773
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 1: or do you do?

774
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 5: You do?

775
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 1: You have a pretty separate like when I am on

776
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: the air or in you know, my office or whatever,

777
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: that is what I'm thinking about these things? Or and

778
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 1: when I'm home, I'm thinking about it.

779
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 3: No, I worry about stuff all the time, really yeah,

780
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 3: And and uh, and things do haunt me?

781
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 6: I do? I do?

782
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 3: Really yeah? But I have I have enough experience and

783
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 3: sufficient boundaries that I don't may not let it infect

784
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 3: me in the sense like I know what my limitations are.

785
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 3: I know that I've done all that I can, but

786
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 3: it's still you know, it affects you.

787
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: Has it Has that been a learning process like earlier

788
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: in your career?

789
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 3: Do you feel like that was mostly therapy the year,

790
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 3: years and years and years of really good therapy, and

791
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:47,320
Speaker 3: my boundaries got very clear with that.

792
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 1: You know, I have a lot of people who call

793
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 1: in and they tell me things like, you know, I

794
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: tried talking about this with my real therapist, but they

795
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 1: feel like they weren't helpful. Do you have any way

796
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 1: that you I if I if somebody is a good therapist,

797
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:03,279
Speaker 1: or if you feel like they're a fit for.

798
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, there should be you know, certain letters

799
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 3: after their name. Ideally you know, l cs, W, s ID, PhD,

800
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 3: m D, these kinds of things, and they need lots

801
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 3: of experience, and there needs to be clarity about what

802
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 3: it is you're doing in therapy and what are your

803
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 3: goals and what kinds of techniques that are used to

804
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 3: achieve those goals. Generally, therapists shouldn't be saying very much

805
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:34,720
Speaker 3: at all about anything.

806
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: They should primarily just be sounding boards.

807
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 3: They should be reflecting with their face and body emotions

808
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 3: back to you as like a mirror of the emotions.

809
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 3: They should be asking challenge and very very strategic questions

810
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 3: to kind of keep the emotions moving forward. And that's it.

811
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 3: If therapist is telling you what to do, run, yeah, yeah,

812
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 3: not what therapy is.

813
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 1: You know, I kind of stopped going to therapy because

814
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 1: I was journaling a lot and I felt like, oh, well,

815
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,399
Speaker 1: this is you know, all therapy is is like sort

816
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:10,919
Speaker 1: of what you're saying. It is like you're getting reflected about.

817
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 3: It's everything's for different people. It really is depending what

818
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 3: The brain is very complicated. It's a brain body that

819
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: you're dealing with in therapy, really, and you know, if

820
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 3: you can get what you need out of journaling, if

821
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 3: you can get it from CBT. I mean there's all

822
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,919
Speaker 3: the twelves, there's all kinds of things out there, lots

823
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 3: of resources, and many people get what they need. They

824
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 3: find ways to get what they need from it. I

825
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:36,240
Speaker 3: needed I had, I needed micro surgery. My bodily based

826
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 3: emotional system was not well connected.

827
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 1: To my brain, your bodily based emotional feelings. I'm always

828
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: neglecting how much of my mental state is due to

829
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: completely and utterly internal things.

830
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:48,760
Speaker 3: Correct.

831
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm constantly.

832
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 3: It's a brain body. It's a brain body. It's not

833
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 3: a brain, it's not an emotional it's not a limbic system.

834
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 3: It's a brain body system. And because I didn't get

835
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 3: certain stuff growing up, I got it in therapy and

836
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 3: it connected me back up. And that's some pretty good.

837
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 3: Now let's talk to Maddie. Think if your calls everybody

838
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 3: there are good calls Maddie.

839
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 1: Hello, Hey there, what's up?

840
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 12: Oh?

841
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 7: There we go?

842
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:23,720
Speaker 1: Hi, what's up, Maddie?

843
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 3: How you doing?

844
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 1: How can we get you this evening?

845
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 17: I'm good tonight. You know, I was wondering, what's the

846
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 17: statute of limitations on opening a snapchat?

847
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: The statue of limitations? So, I mean it says here

848
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,320
Speaker 1: that you're struggling on getting back to people in a

849
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 1: timely manner.

850
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 17: Yes, definitely.

851
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice on cause I'm start dealing

852
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 1: with this too.

853
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not understating the question at all. I

854
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 3: feel like, what did she say?

855
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 1: I My read on this is, Maddie. It sounds like

856
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 1: you're getting overwhelmed with the fact that your phone is

857
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 1: constantly calling upon you to answer it, and you're wondering

858
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 1: the the boundaries you should set in that arena. Yeah, exactly.

859
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 3: Oh, it depends on who it is in the relationship

860
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 3: with that person.

861
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: Who who is there somebody in particular that.

862
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 17: This is this is going on with, not in particular.

863
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 17: There are like a couple of people like who have

864
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 17: been messaging me, and it's like, oh.

865
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 4: Like maybe I'll get around to opening this.

866
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 17: Maybe not, but it's it's not really dependent on the.

867
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 2: Relationship as much as my own anxiety with opening it

868
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 2: and what I'm going to respond right away?

869
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:42,240
Speaker 3: But but what kind of these peers are these? Your parents?

870
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 8: Is it?

871
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 3: You know? Bill collectors?

872
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 5: What?

873
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 17: Definitely like definitely like acquaintances of mine, like people I'm

874
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 17: friendly with, but people who I don't have that kind

875
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 17: of like relationship with.

876
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 3: That's a right, That is a great question. I don't

877
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 3: I don't think people my age understand it at all.

878
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 3: I mean, you used to be the you know, anybody

879
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 3: under thirty is sort of fluid in this stuff. I uh,

880
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 3: you probably have a lot of feelings about it. I

881
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 3: My thing is like, I just why are you bothering me?

882
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 8: What? You know?

883
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 5: What?

884
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 10: You know?

885
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 3: You don't really want me to respond? I hate texting?

886
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:21,720
Speaker 3: Is this on texting? We're talking about? Gotta hate texting?

887
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: She's just talk about snapped. You do a lot of

888
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 1: snap chatting, doctor Drew.

889
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 3: No, no snap. And I just discovered that I had

890
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:32,359
Speaker 3: I had a a request thing in Instagram. H yeah,

891
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 3: there were there were ten thousand comments there.

892
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 1: You just found your Instagram message request. Yes, yeah, there's

893
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 1: like a whole bunch of I mean, dude, you can't

894
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: get lost in like I'm always getting lost in my

895
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 1: d ms on Twitter, yeah, on on Instagram and stuff,

896
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Instagram.

897
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 3: One is just I just discovered. I feel like I've

898
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 3: walked into parallel universe.

899
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: Well know when you're saying like people under you know,

900
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 1: when you said people over thirty like you.

901
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 3: Know it's serious.

902
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,879
Speaker 1: Well, I I'm jealous of that peace of mind because

903
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 1: I feel like I never have that. I feel like

904
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 1: Maddie doesn't have that. We're like, oh, somebody responds Maddie, Maddie,

905
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 1: here's my thing, Maddie. And I've gotten used to this too.

906
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: Be Okay, you can leave people on red. Just get

907
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 1: get start to enjoy the piece that you gain when

908
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: you just leave people on red.

909
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 3: Can you read the unready unseen?

910
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 5: Good?

911
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 3: Okay, good? Yeah?

912
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:22,840
Speaker 12: I like that.

913
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 3: Yeah. The the immediacy of responsing. And I you know,

914
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 3: because when I was practicing medicine fourteen hours a day,

915
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 3: I would get pages that was back in the pages

916
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 3: and I'd have to respond immediately, immediately, And so I

917
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 3: still behave like that with texts. Do you respond to

918
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 3: every text a meeting immediately and it's and it's an

919
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,800
Speaker 3: immediate I have a reaction every time, too, like what

920
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 3: is it?

921
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 8: You know?

922
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 3: Because I spent so many years doing that and I

923
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 3: hate it.

924
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: Do you respond to your Twitter dms and things like that?

925
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:55,280
Speaker 3: My Twitter dms is a is a pretty lean territory.

926
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 3: For some reason, I do because it's all people. I

927
00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,919
Speaker 3: kind of know it's I don't. I don't, I don't,

928
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 3: I don't, I don't have just anybody in there. But

929
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 3: it's clearly my Instagram. I've got to do something with that.

930
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 3: I don't know quite how to manage that, you.

931
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: Know, Maddie. My thing is like if you, first of all,

932
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 1: if you don't care about these people, then leave them

933
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 1: on red. If you don't care about them, But if

934
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 1: you do care about them, then they should respect your

935
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 1: boundaries enough to be like, I'm not getting upset with

936
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 1: you for leaving right. You have to train people, Yes, yes,

937
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 1: you have to train people to be okay with you

938
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: leaving them on read and you can get back to

939
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 1: them eventually.

940
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 7: Okay.

941
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 17: I think how long it's too long to leave them

942
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 17: on red?

943
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: I don't think there exists an answer to that question.

944
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: I think however long.

945
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 3: We need an international convention on this. We need a

946
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 3: Geneva convention.

947
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: Uh, it's just set a to set an objective standard amount.

948
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 3: I mean, I would say six hours is very reasonable, right,

949
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 3: fucking never respond to them? Who can? It doesn't That's

950
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,279
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. It could be a day or two

951
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 3: that and that'd be fine also, But I mean if

952
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,800
Speaker 3: it's six or eight hours, I mean, that's very reasonable.

953
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,800
Speaker 1: I would think the real here's the thing, the people

954
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 1: in your life, who are the real ones. They'll be

955
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:13,399
Speaker 1: there when you're ready to talk to them and won't

956
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,879
Speaker 1: be upset by you leaving them on red.

957
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:22,720
Speaker 3: Right? What are you doing your dishes? Building, building a cabinet.

958
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 2: My dog is playing with his bone.

959
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 1: You know what, go to Here's what I want you

960
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 1: to do. Turn your phone off, throw it into a river,

961
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: Go hang out with your dad, Look him in the eye,

962
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: smell him, talk to somebody, give him a hug, feel

963
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: his his.

964
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:42,320
Speaker 3: This is back to the brain body thing, ye is.

965
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 3: That's how people communicate in space, like two bodies in space.

966
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 3: Very important.

967
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, Maddie.

968
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 14: Yeah, of course, thank you. Have a good night.

969
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 3: You two.

970
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,399
Speaker 1: A life before cell phones sound sounds like it's an

971
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 1: I mean I I sort of grew up with all

972
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 1: that shit.

973
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 3: It was better having a cell phone, for sure, because

974
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,320
Speaker 3: you weren't running, at least in my professional running for

975
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 3: a phone all the time it's terrible. But smartphones put

976
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 3: it to a whole different new wrinkle into it. I

977
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 3: love having emails. If people would just stick with emails,

978
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 3: I'd be okay, But no one.

979
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 1: So you say you have this like a thing when

980
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 1: like every time, okay, but so how many times? Okay,

981
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: how many times? Like I feel like after so many times,

982
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,480
Speaker 1: if somebody texting you, you go, you check it. You

983
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: realize it's like a bullshit thing, somebody sending you a video?

984
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 1: Just whatever, do you do?

985
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 7: Not go?

986
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 1: Do not lose the thing? After a while, after it's happened.

987
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 3: So many times, it's it's it's not just the buzz

988
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 3: makes me go yeah, because it's it's so in me

989
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 3: from the pagers. They used to do the same thing,

990
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 3: and when it would buzz, it would be an emergency

991
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 3: every time, or something needed to be addressed immediately.

992
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 1: But now how often when you when you feel the buzz,

993
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 1: is it? Yeah? But I still have the you haven't

994
00:47:59,280 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: you haven't been able to.

995
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,640
Speaker 3: Learn it, and the reaction is still there. And and

996
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 3: then I and I still do this thing of getting

997
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 3: to it very fast. I get to it really quickly

998
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 3: because I feel like, you know, if you're texting me,

999
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 3: you must want to have a response, That's why you're texting.

1000
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 3: Otherwise you'd email me or whatever, a phone call o CD.

1001
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 3: I mean, you have a little OCD. So I'm very

1002
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:21,720
Speaker 3: compulsive about everything.

1003
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 1: So do you always us keep a you keep inbox

1004
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,440
Speaker 1: zero as they call it.

1005
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 3: It's all read in inbox and it's sort of managed,

1006
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 3: sort of to sort of collid and stuff. And then

1007
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 3: I shrink it down every once in a while. But

1008
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 3: but and my wife has, you know, in an inbox

1009
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 3: with one hundred and five thousand unread emails and I

1010
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:41,360
Speaker 3: can't even look at it. I can't look at her

1011
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 3: little phone that read. It drives me crazy.

1012
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 1: But I mean, oh, with emails, it's like that's bullshit.

1013
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's o c D.

1014
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:53,919
Speaker 1: Though, let's see what we got going on here.

1015
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 3: It's a a hard one or this one right intense? Good?

1016
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: Hey Dominic, Yes, hey guys, hey Dominic, how you doing man?

1017
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 18: Excellent? Very good?

1018
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: Uh, Dominic? It says here that you want to know

1019
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 1: what is normal in a relationship. You feel like your

1020
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 1: wife is a sexual You've been with here for thirty years.

1021
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 1: You're wondering if that's just a natural thing, or if

1022
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: it happens after several years of marriage. What you want

1023
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 1: to explain this in your own words?

1024
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 18: Okay, Well, yeah, I mean I feel like I mean,

1025
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 18: when I first met her, I was sixteen years old,

1026
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 18: and you know, she was wasn't really into sex. She

1027
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 18: was a vision at the time, and I thought, well,

1028
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 18: you know, it's obviously that's you know, and that seems

1029
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 18: like a normal thing to not really be into sex

1030
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:53,799
Speaker 18: with your virsion of your kind of you know, you're

1031
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 18: a young woman, and you grew up in a you know,

1032
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 18: a wast household, so you know, I wasn't too worried

1033
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 18: about it. But as time went on, you know, we

1034
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 18: got married, had kids, and just never really was uh.

1035
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 18: I wouldn't talk about sex, didn't want to, you know,

1036
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 18: engage in a whole lot unless it was for you know,

1037
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 18: trying to have children, and so you know, it's.

1038
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 12: Been going on.

1039
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 18: And then a few years ago, my sister, uh said

1040
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 18: to me, she said, do you think he's being manipulated.

1041
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:28,359
Speaker 18: And I never really even considered she she asked if

1042
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 18: I was being manipulated and I never and and I

1043
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 18: never considered that. And then you know, and I said,

1044
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 18: you know, you know she wants to do things I

1045
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 18: want to you know, want her to be happy because

1046
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 18: I want her to have a life, because uh, I mean,

1047
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 18: she did suffer some trauma in her childhood. I mean

1048
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,360
Speaker 18: her her father wasn't like, you know, excessively abusive, but

1049
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 18: you know he would he was very strict and wouldn't

1050
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 18: allow her to do things that other kids could do

1051
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:54,439
Speaker 18: and stuff like that, and had you know, her child

1052
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 18: was very kind of rigid or she had to work

1053
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 18: a lot, and you know, there was some physical view.

1054
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 18: Like I said, it was an excessive the point was

1055
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 18: like every single day, but it was like, you know,

1056
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:07,919
Speaker 18: I had to act a certain way and do certain

1057
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 18: things a certain way.

1058
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 3: All right. So what if we talked to her, if

1059
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 3: we hang on, hang on, if it's what's his name?

1060
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 1: Dominic?

1061
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 3: Dominic dominic? If we if we talked to her, what

1062
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 3: would she say? What would she say about your relationship?

1063
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 3: Physical relationship? I said, what's the what's your wife's name?

1064
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 3: They're gonna make up a name. I don't care. What

1065
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 3: do you want to? Oh right, okay. So if I said, Marie,

1066
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:30,800
Speaker 3: what's going on? How do you know what's going with

1067
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 3: you and your husband? Are you guys close? Do you

1068
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 3: have do you have a good physical relationship? What would

1069
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 3: she say?

1070
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 4: Uh?

1071
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:38,839
Speaker 18: Well, she would say we have a good relationship, all right?

1072
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 3: And what about the physical part?

1073
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 18: What she said, they're not no, no, not really a

1074
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:44,879
Speaker 18: physical part.

1075
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 3: And would she say would she say I missed that,

1076
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 3: or we had it at one time, or I'd rather

1077
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 3: be this way. What would her position be?

1078
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 18: You think, Oh, no, she would not miss it at all.

1079
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 8: She's she's definitely.

1080
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 18: Doesn't miss it. I mean, there wasn't really a major

1081
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 18: physical relationship at any point in our relationship. I just

1082
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 18: thought as she got older, maybe that would you know, she.

1083
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 3: Would mature And it usually it usually gets worse unless

1084
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 3: you take hormone therapy things like that, because you have

1085
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:22,920
Speaker 3: to say, you know, menopause. Perimenopause says to shut you know.

1086
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 3: Testosterone is produced by the ovaries, that's the major source

1087
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 3: of libido, and you have to get on some kind

1088
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:33,359
Speaker 3: of vestrogen, tiestosterone, progesterone, kind of replacement has its own risk.

1089
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 3: You have to discuss it with your doctor. But you

1090
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:37,400
Speaker 3: know a lot of women need that in order to

1091
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 3: continue to be sexual after a certain age. So you're

1092
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,759
Speaker 3: now fighting biology on top of whatever was going on

1093
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,280
Speaker 3: in the first place. I don't know, you sound unhappy

1094
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 3: with what's going on.

1095
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 18: Well, I mean I'm not unhappy with the relationship. Necessarily.

1096
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 18: It bothers me because one time she said to me,

1097
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:04,320
Speaker 18: you know, she doesn't think that she can ever experience

1098
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 18: the feeling that I feel during a sexual during sexual intercourse,

1099
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 18: and you know, they really really hit me hard.

1100
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 3: Does that mean she's never had an orgasm? No, No,

1101
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:26,400
Speaker 3: she has. Okay, I just not. But at least she

1102
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,240
Speaker 3: just doesn't. She just dods have the intensity of experience.

1103
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,400
Speaker 3: So I don't know, you know, we're not gonna be

1104
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:35,399
Speaker 3: able to solve that here, that's for sure. Yeah, right,

1105
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 3: But I I if it was bothering me, I sit

1106
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 3: down and talk to somebody about it with her.

1107
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 18: Not it doesn't it doesn't sound like. It doesn't sound

1108
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 18: like a situation where I'm being manipulated by her, where

1109
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 18: she's just like using sex as like a tool to like,

1110
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 18: you know, it's just because she has a little libido,

1111
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,920
Speaker 18: so she uses that as something way to manipulate me.

1112
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 3: You don't know that, that's nothing you've said to me

1113
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 3: sounds like that at all. Uh and uh and but

1114
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 3: you know you you want to be closer, and that's it.

1115
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,360
Speaker 3: You just want to be closer. And there's a physical

1116
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:10,800
Speaker 3: piece that could help you be closer. And you know

1117
00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:12,839
Speaker 3: she might not be willing to work on it. Maybe

1118
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 3: she is, but it's something you could definitely work with

1119
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 3: a professional on, somebody who has experienced doing that kind

1120
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 3: of thing. Okay, okay, sorry, good luck, Thanks Dominic. All right,

1121
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 3: see what the dog's barking and stuff? I was imagine?

1122
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 3: Where is he West Virginia?

1123
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:35,399
Speaker 1: I could see Nebraska for him. So have you had

1124
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 1: any experience like couples counseling? Is that ever anything you

1125
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:39,440
Speaker 1: do in your practice?

1126
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 3: We've done that? Oh my practice? Oh sure, oh sure, sure?

1127
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,000
Speaker 3: Have I been a patient in that that? Also?

1128
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:47,839
Speaker 1: Now, at what point does the what is the goal?

1129
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:50,800
Speaker 1: I've wondered this because whenever I get a call like that,

1130
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 1: I always wonder, like, is the goal of the couple's

1131
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 1: counsel to fix the relationship or to find the truth?

1132
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 1: Even if the truth is these people should not be

1133
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:00,800
Speaker 1: together this.

1134
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,800
Speaker 3: Most good couples therapists will start with those kinds of

1135
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 3: questions like what are we doing here?

1136
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 1: Oh, so they ask them, They're like, do you guys

1137
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 1: want you want to waste it?

1138
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 3: Are we trying to right? Are we trying to break

1139
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,879
Speaker 3: up here? Or are we committed and want to stay together?

1140
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 3: Most people that by the time to get the couple's

1141
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 3: therapy are sort of on the way out and uh,

1142
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:22,360
Speaker 3: and they got to get very very honest about that stuff,

1143
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 3: so the therapists can do the job, whatever the job is,

1144
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 3: and it was to make things closer than those different

1145
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:29,799
Speaker 3: versions of that too, or you know, how honest are

1146
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 3: we willing to be here? You know? And uh, you

1147
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 3: know it's it's it's a it's a I like emotionally

1148
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:40,320
Speaker 3: focused therapies of all types, whether it's couples are individual therapy,

1149
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 3: because it's really just supporting people where they are and

1150
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 3: letting them express themselves emotionally more.

1151
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 1: And do you find in your experience that most people

1152
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 1: go the route of, you know, please help us fix

1153
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 1: this versus most people are like.

1154
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 3: Hey, don't I don't do enough for that stuff. But

1155
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 3: I've been told by a couple therapy people that just

1156
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 3: do that that that's the case I do. I'm doing

1157
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 3: it always in the context of drug addiction, alcoholic So

1158
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 3: it's it's trying to get people to hear each other

1159
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 3: for the first time in a long time often, and

1160
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:14,439
Speaker 3: I mean, does that get wild? Yeah, it can be wild. Yeah, Yeah,

1161
00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 3: it's very intense. I'm I deal with very very very

1162
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 3: sick people. That's yeah.

1163
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,239
Speaker 1: Thing, yea, how do you I've asked you this question

1164
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,080
Speaker 1: a bunch of times in various forms and maybe it's

1165
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 1: just me, maybe just me, like how the do you

1166
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 1: deal with that?

1167
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 3: Why did you go home? Upset? And stuff? Again? It's

1168
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 3: it's it's it's kind of like being an ambulance driver

1169
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 3: or something. You have a you have a skill set,

1170
00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:41,320
Speaker 3: You drive up to the disaster and you help to

1171
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 3: the best of your ability. That's all you can do.

1172
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 3: And some of the stuff stays with you. Some of

1173
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 3: it is just interesting. You know, is there a.

1174
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,279
Speaker 1: Call or or anything like that that has stuck with

1175
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 1: you to this time?

1176
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:57,240
Speaker 3: People always ask us that stuff. I remember a couple

1177
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:01,480
Speaker 3: of Vietnamese twins that were separated when they were little.

1178
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 3: One went to Denver. One went to the Orange County

1179
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 3: here in locally or something and went from Denver called

1180
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 3: us because the one here was being sexually abused and

1181
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 3: we tried to help intervene with that. Had a guy

1182
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 3: named Brutus. It was having no no, his name was,

1183
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 3: can't remember his name. His dog was named Brutus, and

1184
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 3: he was engaged with his dog.

1185
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 1: He engaged to his dog.

1186
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 3: Well, he was having sexual relations with the dog. Specifically,

1187
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 3: the dog was having sex with him.

1188
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 1: The dog was having sex.

1189
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:34,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and that was weird. Uh, But I learned

1190
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 3: a lot about zoophilia. I tried to stay up and

1191
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 3: minded about him because we kept him on the line

1192
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 3: for like an hour and just talked to him because

1193
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 3: he was, like you could tell he was quite serious.

1194
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 1: About any any big takeaways from about.

1195
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 3: My sense was that that there was a lot of

1196
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:54,160
Speaker 3: early childhood severe neglect, so like an attachment disorder kind

1197
00:57:54,160 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 3: of thing. So he attached to a dog or a person.

1198
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 3: What's the difference is there?

1199
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: Always?

1200
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 12: Is there?

1201
00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 1: Is there always an answer?

1202
00:57:58,440 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 3: Is it? Is it ever?

1203
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 1: Just this guy likes to have sex with giraffes and

1204
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 1: that's it and you cannot explain it?

1205
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 3: Well, yes, sure, sometimes it's just I mean, just like anything,

1206
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 3: it's it's just sometimes in the brain just but you know,

1207
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 3: so there's is always you know, biological, genetic, and environment.

1208
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 3: It's all the interplay, but it's never all one. Well

1209
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 3: it's rare. It's always combo. They may predominate genetic or

1210
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:28,000
Speaker 3: predominate environment, but it's always that relationship that results in

1211
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 3: the whatever we're looking at. Gene environment interaction.

1212
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 1: Gene environment interaction. Hey, Kelly, they got the stream key,

1213
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 1: Can you're on the stream off for me?

1214
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 14: Yeah, we got it.

1215
00:58:47,560 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 1: Kelly uh says here that your boyfriend has a rectile

1216
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 1: dysfunction and you're not sure how to approach.

1217
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 3: Him about it.

1218
00:58:57,840 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 1: I feel like this is one you've.

1219
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is all that time. I'm actually going to

1220
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 3: be working with a men's health organization to try to

1221
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 3: make this a more complete conversation more often. So how

1222
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:12,880
Speaker 3: old is he he is in his thirties, and does

1223
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 3: is he any medication.

1224
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:16,720
Speaker 7: He is not?

1225
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 3: And how often does this happen? Is it all the time?

1226
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 7: Is it some of the time, it's all the time?

1227
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1228
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:28,080
Speaker 3: And is it that can he penetrate or he loses

1229
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 3: it before he penetrates, or he loses it after a while.

1230
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:31,720
Speaker 3: At what point does he lose it?

1231
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 7: Pretty much he loses it after a while.

1232
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:39,120
Speaker 19: And I'm not sure it's completely ED or if it's

1233
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 19: maybe a head thing or maybe a combination of both.

1234
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 7: Will how to open that conversation.

1235
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:46,160
Speaker 3: What do you suspect the head thing is? When you

1236
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 3: say a head.

1237
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:52,280
Speaker 19: Thing, Well, he hasn't been in a lot of relationships

1238
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 19: in his life. I was the first person that he

1239
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 19: was with in his thirties, I think it was nineties,

1240
00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:00,920
Speaker 19: and he was not a very extionate person in the

1241
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:02,200
Speaker 19: beginning of the relationship.

1242
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 7: Really hasn't been so.

1243
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:05,439
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1244
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 3: Interesting And when you ask him what what the deal is?

1245
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:10,040
Speaker 3: What does he say?

1246
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 7: I mean, he's pretty talking about it.

1247
01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 19: I always have to suggest or ask things because I

1248
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:24,280
Speaker 19: don't want to damage maybe his masculinity. I know that's

1249
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 19: kind of a sensitive subject for some guys.

1250
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:29,160
Speaker 3: Wait, what does he say when when he's what's his

1251
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 3: explanation for what's happening?

1252
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:37,760
Speaker 19: Really he just says TD. Some days he says he's

1253
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 19: just in it, sat about it. But even before that

1254
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 19: was just the ED and he couldn't perform. So I

1255
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 19: don't know if it's just getting worse what.

1256
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:50,080
Speaker 3: What does he say is the reason he's struggling? Does

1257
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 3: he think, does he think about some explanation? Does he say, Oh,

1258
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:57,400
Speaker 3: it's I'm tired, or it's too long, or it's too sensitive.

1259
01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:59,480
Speaker 3: What does he say? What is your sort of description

1260
01:00:59,560 --> 01:00:59,959
Speaker 3: of the issue.

1261
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 7: Well, a definite cause for why it's happening.

1262
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:07,960
Speaker 3: So he goes, I don't know, it just happens. Is

1263
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 3: that that's his thing?

1264
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:10,919
Speaker 7: Yeah?

1265
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 3: Pretty much? Okay, so it maybe just maybe what.

1266
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:20,920
Speaker 7: Maybe just getting older and not exercise as much.

1267
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 3: I guess is he overweight?

1268
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:24,960
Speaker 7: He's not.

1269
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:28,680
Speaker 3: Okay, so he's not that much older. If you're over

1270
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 3: sixty five, well we could talk about it. But in

1271
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 3: his he's in his thirties, right, yeah, yeah, it's not that. However,

1272
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 3: does he smoke cigarettes?

1273
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 7: No, he does not.

1274
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:41,440
Speaker 3: Well, he still ought to talk to a doctor because

1275
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 3: most young males, middle aged males that have wrecked on dysfunction,

1276
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 3: there's a medical reason and so he needs a thorough

1277
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 3: complete medical workup, heart disease being number one, or vascular

1278
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 3: disease of all types. But there can be hormonal problems,

1279
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 3: there can be neurological but there can be lots of

1280
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:00,840
Speaker 3: stuff that is contributing to this problem, and it needs

1281
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 3: to be fully evaluated. So numero uno, complete medical work

1282
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 3: up and some of the stuff that can cause erect

1283
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:08,760
Speaker 3: a disfunction. It's kind of serious and needs to know

1284
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 3: about it. So numerouno, that's number one. Number two, you

1285
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:17,800
Speaker 3: what well not to go, not not to go to

1286
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:21,920
Speaker 3: evaluate his erectile dysfunction, to evaluate the potential causes, what

1287
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 3: medical causes might be might be contributing here that could

1288
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 3: be dangerous, and he needs to know about it, Diabetes,

1289
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 3: all kinds of stuff, so that that has to happen.

1290
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 3: Number two, Younger men are typically kind of younger than

1291
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 3: thirties when they have erecti dysfunctioned. It is very common

1292
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:44,959
Speaker 3: these days, and it is often from porn excess. Guys

1293
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 3: are losing their chi to the pornographic material and it's

1294
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:49,720
Speaker 3: getting worse.

1295
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 1: You can go inside the metaverse and you know, fuck

1296
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:55,880
Speaker 1: a pocket pussy that you know corresponds with some sort

1297
01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:58,560
Speaker 1: of you know, I mean, it's only going to get progressed.

1298
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 3: It's going to get that way, but if it's not already,

1299
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:05,560
Speaker 3: But but you know, men are losing their cheat, depleting

1300
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 3: their chi to the metaverse. Yes, and I don't think

1301
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:11,160
Speaker 3: that's what's going on here, but just for other people listening,

1302
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:13,120
Speaker 3: that's another reason for younger men to get this thing

1303
01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:16,680
Speaker 3: and almost don't matter what the cause, once the medical

1304
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:20,920
Speaker 3: issues have been ironed out, using a PDE five inhibitor,

1305
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 3: these you know, medicines that we're used to using for

1306
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 3: rectile dysfunction can kind of get them back a little bit.

1307
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,160
Speaker 3: There's no problem using those medication, you know, even if

1308
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 3: people that don't have chronic need for them or aren't

1309
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:34,800
Speaker 3: very much older with whatever medical issues. It can be

1310
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:36,760
Speaker 3: a way to get over anxiety. Like if somebody has

1311
01:03:36,800 --> 01:03:39,280
Speaker 3: anxiety then they worry that it's going to happen again,

1312
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:42,080
Speaker 3: Get on the PDE five and you be more likely

1313
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 3: to happen. You'll just sort of get over the anxiety.

1314
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 3: The other thing is if the erectile dysfunction occurs early,

1315
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 3: particularly more often than not, again, particularly with the younger males,

1316
01:03:54,160 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 3: it's because not because he's not into you, it's because

1317
01:03:56,880 --> 01:04:00,960
Speaker 3: he's two into really, yes, it's the guys are have

1318
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:02,920
Speaker 3: sex because they want to be there. So they want

1319
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:04,560
Speaker 3: to be there, trust me, or they would not be there.

1320
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:07,919
Speaker 3: But if they lose the direction early and they tell

1321
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,320
Speaker 3: you it's I'm too into you. That is the truth.

1322
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:14,040
Speaker 3: It creates such an overwhelming desire to please and to

1323
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 3: be a part of this, and they're so taken with

1324
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:16,400
Speaker 3: this person.

1325
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 1: Oh, it's like a stress thing.

1326
01:04:19,200 --> 01:04:21,200
Speaker 3: It's an anxiety kind of an anxiety thing. It's certainly

1327
01:04:21,200 --> 01:04:22,280
Speaker 3: being overwhelmed by it, like.

1328
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 1: A performance anxiety type.

1329
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:25,640
Speaker 3: It's kind of it's all these things together, it's all

1330
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 3: that together. Yeah, yeah, you what.

1331
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 7: I hear a lot.

1332
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 19: I think that could definitely part of it, because he

1333
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 19: does tell me often you know, it's not you, it's

1334
01:04:34,240 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 19: you know, it's not you. So but if it's not me,

1335
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:38,560
Speaker 19: then what is it?

1336
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 3: Well? Right? And it it rarely is the female partner

1337
01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 3: when men ever tell this function like that's that's that's

1338
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,080
Speaker 3: the exception when that happens.

1339
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 1: You said specifically that you're having problems approaching him about it.

1340
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 1: What about what is making you nervous about starting the conversation.

1341
01:04:55,720 --> 01:04:58,600
Speaker 19: Because I know that you know, subjects like that, especially

1342
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:02,400
Speaker 19: involving their feeling parts, can maybe be a little I

1343
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:02,720
Speaker 19: don't know.

1344
01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 7: I don't want to hurt his He's a very sensitive man, so.

1345
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 19: I don't want to approach that in the wrong way,

1346
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 19: especially because I'm not good at explaining myself.

1347
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:17,320
Speaker 7: He'd be a little abrasive.

1348
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:20,560
Speaker 3: You know you're a little abrasive.

1349
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, well we don't.

1350
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:25,800
Speaker 3: I don't experience her that way. But anyway, let's say

1351
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:32,400
Speaker 3: you are. Don't worry. You're not going to offend him.

1352
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 3: He knows he's having it right down as far as

1353
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 3: he wants to solve it too, You're not. By talking

1354
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:38,360
Speaker 3: about it, You're not going to somehow make it worse.

1355
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:40,280
Speaker 1: I almost feel like that makes it better because if

1356
01:05:40,320 --> 01:05:42,959
Speaker 1: you start the because he he might want to start

1357
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,360
Speaker 1: the conversation, but you going out there starting at first,

1358
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:48,480
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, you know, Okay, she knows, we both know,

1359
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:49,880
Speaker 1: we both want to fix the issue.

1360
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, men men generally aim to please. It's generally true

1361
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:54,680
Speaker 3: about men.

1362
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:55,920
Speaker 1: He's down to work it out.

1363
01:05:56,040 --> 01:05:59,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's that?

1364
01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:00,440
Speaker 1: I think she said? Why does and you put more

1365
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 1: effort into place? I think that's what he said.

1366
01:06:03,880 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 3: Well, more effort would be getting a medical evaluation. Really,

1367
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:09,200
Speaker 3: that's what he needs to do. He really, really really

1368
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:09,720
Speaker 3: needs to do that.

1369
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:13,000
Speaker 1: Kelly, good luck to you and starting this conversation again.

1370
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:14,840
Speaker 1: It seems like both parties want to get to the

1371
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:18,080
Speaker 1: to the brunt of this issue. So take your best

1372
01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:19,040
Speaker 1: foot forward.

1373
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:24,120
Speaker 3: Go for it. Yeah, so I'm floating in the clouds. Sorry,

1374
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:26,440
Speaker 3: I get what's with the floating in the clouds?

1375
01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:27,520
Speaker 1: What's with the floating in the clouds?

1376
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,440
Speaker 3: Geckos don't normally live in the cloud do they?

1377
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:29,640
Speaker 12: Oh?

1378
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:32,200
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sort of like the whole idea is we're traveling,

1379
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:33,960
Speaker 1: you know, all sort of parts of the universe.

1380
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:35,800
Speaker 3: So today we're in the traveling.

1381
01:06:35,880 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 1: No, we're not necessarily time traveling, but we're traveling. We're

1382
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:41,680
Speaker 1: just traveling, just travel traveling.

1383
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 3: We're in the you know, sometimes we're I have a

1384
01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 3: hanker and for flies. Does that have something to do

1385
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:46,360
Speaker 3: with putting this?

1386
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:47,680
Speaker 2: Oh?

1387
01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:50,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh and that's gonna last for a

1388
01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:51,000
Speaker 1: few days, a few.

1389
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:55,200
Speaker 3: Days side effect. And then the gecko's sexuality.

1390
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:56,160
Speaker 1: Are they Are they sexually active?

1391
01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:57,720
Speaker 3: We know how they do it or what's going on

1392
01:06:57,840 --> 01:07:01,240
Speaker 3: with them? I feel like very concerned about that.

1393
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 1: Oh you know, I feel like echoes are just as

1394
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:04,920
Speaker 1: sexually active as humans.

1395
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 3: Do they?

1396
01:07:05,720 --> 01:07:05,880
Speaker 6: Is it?

1397
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:07,240
Speaker 3: You know?

1398
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:08,479
Speaker 1: Good?

1399
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:12,600
Speaker 3: Do they have a kloaca or the penis and a vagina? Penises?

1400
01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:15,720
Speaker 1: And I actually I feel like I lay eggs.

1401
01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:18,480
Speaker 3: Is maybe just like the eggs and put his stuff

1402
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:18,919
Speaker 3: over the egg.

1403
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:23,160
Speaker 1: The gecko penis in relation to uh so, like obviously

1404
01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:26,560
Speaker 1: a a a if you a gecko penis is smaller

1405
01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:28,560
Speaker 1: than a human penis. But if we're putting them to

1406
01:07:28,600 --> 01:07:31,560
Speaker 1: scale to the body, the gecko penis is actually bigger.

1407
01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:32,440
Speaker 3: Oh I feel much better.

1408
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:34,560
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, So I mean like when you put them

1409
01:07:34,600 --> 01:07:36,440
Speaker 1: to in comparison to the rest of the body, the.

1410
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:39,360
Speaker 3: Are they doing sort of doggy gecko style?

1411
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:39,760
Speaker 8: Oh?

1412
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 1: They do it all different ways. They do it doggy style, Missonario.

1413
01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:44,160
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so I was worrying about these things.

1414
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:46,440
Speaker 1: Gecko sixty nine ing it was very popular in the

1415
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:49,000
Speaker 1: community with that tongue, can do it across the room.

1416
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 1: Oh exactly. I mean you know they have the sticky

1417
01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 1: actually know, like I actually know only one fact about geckos, okay,

1418
01:07:55,320 --> 01:07:58,520
Speaker 1: truly that they can stick to any surface except teflon.

1419
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:02,640
Speaker 3: Oh why that is why it's made to be non

1420
01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:07,040
Speaker 3: stick I mean to be fair, ok, all right, they

1421
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:16,439
Speaker 3: were all around the let's see, you ever wanted to

1422
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:18,840
Speaker 3: do the insurance job for Geico?

1423
01:08:19,439 --> 01:08:21,920
Speaker 1: I get I get that. A lot of people asking

1424
01:08:21,960 --> 01:08:23,760
Speaker 1: me like, oh, you're the Geico gek. A lot a

1425
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:24,920
Speaker 1: lot of people think I'm a frog.

1426
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:28,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the thing. I get the frog asked the

1427
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:29,320
Speaker 3: set up here.

1428
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:31,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And I don't know how to sort of

1429
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:32,800
Speaker 1: make myself stand out as more of a gecko than

1430
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:33,160
Speaker 1: a frog.

1431
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:37,400
Speaker 3: I would say that there's sort of there's sort of

1432
01:08:37,479 --> 01:08:40,920
Speaker 3: some sort of what's the word I'm looking for when

1433
01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:43,519
Speaker 3: you're you're being cast out from a job and you

1434
01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:47,519
Speaker 3: can't pigeonholed, But I mean having a cartoon gecko. I

1435
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:49,960
Speaker 3: mean that seems like there should be some legalities there.

1436
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 3: You should be able to apply for that job.

1437
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:53,400
Speaker 1: Yes, you know what I mean, Yes, they should. They

1438
01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:57,240
Speaker 1: should open it up to all forms of screminatory. Yes, yeah,

1439
01:08:57,560 --> 01:08:57,800
Speaker 1: it is.

1440
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:00,360
Speaker 3: And so I would think and think about sweet that

1441
01:09:00,439 --> 01:09:02,439
Speaker 3: job would be. I mean great, you'd be great at it.

1442
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:05,280
Speaker 1: I would, I would, I would do one off. I

1443
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:06,800
Speaker 1: don't think I would want to like be the new

1444
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:09,519
Speaker 1: guy code guy. I mean, that's that's a whole you know,

1445
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:12,000
Speaker 1: then everything it's a little bit of corporate.

1446
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:14,560
Speaker 3: You know, I don't do that. You don't I get that.

1447
01:09:15,040 --> 01:09:17,200
Speaker 1: That's a whole, that's the whole thing, right, sure enough,

1448
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:26,360
Speaker 1: Hey Clarence, Yes, Sir Clarence says, here you have a

1449
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:27,920
Speaker 1: a pooping related question.

1450
01:09:30,520 --> 01:09:33,760
Speaker 8: Sure, I do actually have a pooping related question.

1451
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:36,920
Speaker 3: You call this a brown question in your mom's house.

1452
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:39,320
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you know that there's a word

1453
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:40,200
Speaker 1: for this, because.

1454
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:44,960
Speaker 3: The first I just gonna say, try it out, you know,

1455
01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:48,240
Speaker 3: try say he's he's from your mom's house. Try it out,

1456
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,479
Speaker 3: Try it out. That's a that's a that's a greeting

1457
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:51,439
Speaker 3: from your mom's house.

1458
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:55,640
Speaker 1: Try it out. Try what's the what's the story behind that?

1459
01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:59,559
Speaker 8: The original the original cool guy o G.

1460
01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:02,599
Speaker 3: Cool Guy, Robert Paul Champagne. I went and visited him

1461
01:10:02,640 --> 01:10:05,160
Speaker 3: in New York City in his apartment, which was quite

1462
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:08,559
Speaker 3: an experience, I must say, But hey, Jeans, what's going

1463
01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:09,040
Speaker 3: on mommy?

1464
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:15,680
Speaker 8: So my thing is is like with my pooping is

1465
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:20,360
Speaker 8: that I tend to poop a lot and then sometimes

1466
01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:26,639
Speaker 8: I don't. But like it's it's strange because I say, well,

1467
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:32,479
Speaker 8: full disclosure in the morning. If I eat something at night,

1468
01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:36,639
Speaker 8: I can see it, and I'm just like worried about

1469
01:10:36,720 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 8: my digestive system. I mean, I guess I'm who, I'm

1470
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:43,320
Speaker 8: real skinny in my whole life. I don't know if

1471
01:10:43,360 --> 01:10:44,560
Speaker 8: that has something to do with it.

1472
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,599
Speaker 3: So it's something about the transit time through your bowels.

1473
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:50,519
Speaker 3: You're not absorbing things quite as well as efficiently as

1474
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:53,320
Speaker 3: you might. Like, I wouldn't worry about it. You know,

1475
01:10:53,400 --> 01:10:57,080
Speaker 3: if you if you had an actual absorption issue of

1476
01:10:57,200 --> 01:11:01,080
Speaker 3: fats or proteins or something, you would have other symptoms. Maybe,

1477
01:11:01,560 --> 01:11:04,360
Speaker 3: you know, it's consider yourself lucky. Whatever it is. It

1478
01:11:04,439 --> 01:11:07,840
Speaker 3: keeps you skinny, increase your calories, increase your you know,

1479
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:11,200
Speaker 3: amount of food, and you'll compensate for that. But but

1480
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:12,759
Speaker 3: is that the brown issue.

1481
01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:18,800
Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean, it's just like it's But the thing

1482
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:21,800
Speaker 8: too that also happens is the notice is if I,

1483
01:11:22,120 --> 01:11:25,439
Speaker 8: like on the weekends when I'm not working, I tend

1484
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:29,559
Speaker 8: to eat overeat, and then it'll be like Monday morning

1485
01:11:30,479 --> 01:11:33,120
Speaker 8: and I'll poop like four or five times in the morning. Okay,

1486
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:36,719
Speaker 8: and we're talking normal poops four or five times within

1487
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:39,280
Speaker 8: like a two hour period. That blows my mind.

1488
01:11:39,479 --> 01:11:44,040
Speaker 3: That's all good, Yo, Yeah, you're fine. You should listen

1489
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:45,880
Speaker 3: to after Dark what that I do when one of

1490
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:49,600
Speaker 3: my uh, one of the people that in the in

1491
01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:51,080
Speaker 3: the one of my engineers.

1492
01:11:50,760 --> 01:11:51,559
Speaker 8: You mean, the gargoyle.

1493
01:11:52,160 --> 01:11:55,200
Speaker 3: The gargoyle yes, good, you listen, well done. He's doing

1494
01:11:55,240 --> 01:11:58,160
Speaker 3: once a month, dude, he's once once once a month.

1495
01:12:00,800 --> 01:12:01,759
Speaker 8: It makes no sense.

1496
01:12:02,400 --> 01:12:05,679
Speaker 1: Wild and you're and you're telling me that's that's healthy.

1497
01:12:06,439 --> 01:12:09,360
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't say it's healthy. But everyone's worried about him.

1498
01:12:09,360 --> 01:12:12,599
Speaker 3: He's fine with it, but there's things that could happen,

1499
01:12:12,680 --> 01:12:15,439
Speaker 3: but he won't address it. So, you know, I would

1500
01:12:15,439 --> 01:12:18,600
Speaker 3: think that there is some sort of No, he does it,

1501
01:12:18,840 --> 01:12:20,639
Speaker 3: he does it for psychological reasons.

1502
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:25,000
Speaker 1: Oh he wait, so he's he's doing this intentionally on purpose?

1503
01:12:25,400 --> 01:12:27,720
Speaker 3: How does and then when he does ship, yes, he

1504
01:12:27,960 --> 01:12:31,120
Speaker 3: puts his feet tell him I'll let I'll let.

1505
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:39,479
Speaker 8: Clarence. So when he when he his monthly bowel movement,

1506
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:44,720
Speaker 8: he stands, he puts the seat up, stands on the

1507
01:12:44,840 --> 01:12:49,040
Speaker 8: rim the toilet itself and on the rim and squats.

1508
01:12:48,640 --> 01:12:53,839
Speaker 3: It down like a gargo exactly. He's hovering above the toilet.

1509
01:12:55,680 --> 01:12:57,759
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's pretty and I feel that on a spiritual

1510
01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:00,200
Speaker 8: level though, like with the whole it thing.

1511
01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:00,960
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

1512
01:13:01,160 --> 01:13:03,439
Speaker 8: My dad had no filter back in the day, and

1513
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:06,040
Speaker 8: I was in third grade and he rented that movie

1514
01:13:06,160 --> 01:13:09,880
Speaker 8: and I watched it by myself in the middle of

1515
01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:11,559
Speaker 8: the country in the pitch Black.

1516
01:13:12,200 --> 01:13:16,679
Speaker 3: I am to this day, Clarence, and and he separated

1517
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:21,000
Speaker 3: at birth. Well, nice to meet you, Clarence, to.

1518
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:21,479
Speaker 12: Meet you too.

1519
01:13:22,760 --> 01:13:24,040
Speaker 8: Better believe him coming up in me.

1520
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:26,400
Speaker 3: You better believe it. Thank you, buddy.

1521
01:13:27,040 --> 01:13:29,360
Speaker 1: Okay, you said he does this for psychological reasons.

1522
01:13:29,760 --> 01:13:32,000
Speaker 3: That's what Clarence was talking about. He saw the movie It,

1523
01:13:32,240 --> 01:13:34,519
Speaker 3: and he became and he was kind of traumatized as

1524
01:13:34,520 --> 01:13:37,200
Speaker 3: a kid, and he became overwhelmed not just by it,

1525
01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:40,160
Speaker 3: but other shit going on his life, and he became

1526
01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:42,360
Speaker 3: overwhelmingly preoccupied with that something was going to come up

1527
01:13:42,360 --> 01:13:45,000
Speaker 3: out of the toilet drain ah ah.

1528
01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:47,400
Speaker 1: That's why he stands up so that.

1529
01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:50,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's also why he avoids the toilet. And

1530
01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:53,080
Speaker 3: so he became really good at controlling his bowels, and

1531
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:54,719
Speaker 3: he's he's Ninja with his bowels.

1532
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:56,760
Speaker 1: Now, now what about peeting? Is that better? Because he

1533
01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:57,559
Speaker 1: can see what's.

1534
01:13:57,400 --> 01:13:59,000
Speaker 3: In front of gees? So he doesn't have thing with

1535
01:13:59,040 --> 01:14:01,080
Speaker 3: that doesn't everything with being It doesn't seem like it.

1536
01:14:01,479 --> 01:14:02,559
Speaker 3: You gotta listen to my podcast.

1537
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:06,559
Speaker 1: I was listening today.

1538
01:14:07,160 --> 01:14:08,519
Speaker 3: Did that one after dark?

1539
01:14:08,600 --> 01:14:08,720
Speaker 6: Well?

1540
01:14:08,840 --> 01:14:10,719
Speaker 1: No, I was what's the most recent when.

1541
01:14:10,600 --> 01:14:12,640
Speaker 3: You were you you did? It depends what I've got

1542
01:14:12,720 --> 01:14:14,840
Speaker 3: different stuff. You probably did a streaming show. Was probably

1543
01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:15,559
Speaker 3: just playing with streaming.

1544
01:14:15,640 --> 01:14:18,080
Speaker 1: I listened to a streaming show.

1545
01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:19,400
Speaker 12: I did, I did, I did.

1546
01:14:19,560 --> 01:14:22,240
Speaker 1: I did my research a little bit. I know you're

1547
01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:22,880
Speaker 1: a doctor.

1548
01:14:23,120 --> 01:14:27,280
Speaker 3: That's good guide. You knew that. Excellent.

1549
01:14:31,400 --> 01:14:43,080
Speaker 1: Hello Alex, Hi Alex, Alex, were Alex doing good? It

1550
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:46,920
Speaker 1: says here that you want some dating advice. You've been

1551
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,160
Speaker 1: talking to a guy for a month and he seems

1552
01:14:50,320 --> 01:14:53,240
Speaker 1: very reserved. It seems like you're wondering, like is it

1553
01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:55,280
Speaker 1: me or is it him? What should I do about

1554
01:14:55,320 --> 01:14:56,080
Speaker 1: this type of thing?

1555
01:14:57,280 --> 01:14:57,439
Speaker 3: Right?

1556
01:14:58,520 --> 01:14:58,760
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1557
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:06,280
Speaker 14: So I actually hit him up and we talked almost

1558
01:15:06,479 --> 01:15:09,639
Speaker 14: every day, like all day for a couple of weeks,

1559
01:15:10,920 --> 01:15:14,599
Speaker 14: and then we hung out. And after that it went

1560
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:19,960
Speaker 14: from like every day to once a day or not

1561
01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:20,519
Speaker 14: even that.

1562
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:24,080
Speaker 1: I don't know what should hang out every day? And

1563
01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:26,160
Speaker 1: then it went to wait a minute, so you said

1564
01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:29,799
Speaker 1: you were texting like all day and then it slowed

1565
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:30,559
Speaker 1: down to once a day.

1566
01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:33,680
Speaker 14: Yeah, after we hung out.

1567
01:15:34,479 --> 01:15:37,240
Speaker 1: I I have a thing of like when there's games

1568
01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:39,720
Speaker 1: going on, it's like forget it, fucking forget it, to

1569
01:15:39,760 --> 01:15:43,720
Speaker 1: get it, forget it. I really truly believe that like

1570
01:15:44,320 --> 01:15:45,559
Speaker 1: people either will or they won't.

1571
01:15:45,760 --> 01:15:48,280
Speaker 3: And it's all aspect the males. If they want to

1572
01:15:48,320 --> 01:15:51,679
Speaker 3: be with you, they let you know they they want

1573
01:15:51,680 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 3: to be with you.

1574
01:15:52,280 --> 01:15:53,719
Speaker 14: What I'm thinking too, right.

1575
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:55,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean there are men that you know, don't

1576
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,880
Speaker 3: get that way or sort of or aloof whatever. But

1577
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:01,400
Speaker 3: most men, if they're into you, they're into you, and

1578
01:16:01,680 --> 01:16:06,720
Speaker 3: it's obvious. And that's who you want. Know, you want

1579
01:16:06,760 --> 01:16:08,880
Speaker 3: guys that are into you, not guys that are half in.

1580
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:11,280
Speaker 3: You want guys that are in and this guy, for

1581
01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:13,439
Speaker 3: whatever reason is not so man who knows what the

1582
01:16:13,479 --> 01:16:16,400
Speaker 3: reason is, they're his and you just kind of find

1583
01:16:16,439 --> 01:16:17,360
Speaker 3: the guy that is into you.

1584
01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:18,000
Speaker 11: Yeah.

1585
01:16:18,280 --> 01:16:20,759
Speaker 1: I mean that's another thing where it's like you knows.

1586
01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:22,759
Speaker 3: A lot of geckos before you find the right one.

1587
01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:26,840
Speaker 1: That turns into a some some sort of royalty. But

1588
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:29,080
Speaker 1: I mean that's the thing is like it could be

1589
01:16:29,240 --> 01:16:31,439
Speaker 1: any other I wouldn't want you to get hung up

1590
01:16:31,479 --> 01:16:33,639
Speaker 1: on like, oh it's me, because it could be any

1591
01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:35,200
Speaker 1: number of miscellaneous reasons.

1592
01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:40,800
Speaker 3: Yeah. It to put the locusts on yourself sort of

1593
01:16:41,040 --> 01:16:45,200
Speaker 3: put is denying how complex relationships are. Who knows where

1594
01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:47,080
Speaker 3: he is in his life, who knows who else he

1595
01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:49,960
Speaker 3: might be dating? Who maybe he's who knows what's going

1596
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,160
Speaker 3: on in his life, who knows what he's feeling thinking,

1597
01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:54,040
Speaker 3: and whether he'd be feeling and thinking something different at

1598
01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:56,200
Speaker 3: a different time. Who cares he's not that into you

1599
01:16:56,360 --> 01:16:59,120
Speaker 3: right now? That should that should be a concern of yours.

1600
01:17:01,080 --> 01:17:03,639
Speaker 14: So yeah, I guess that's kind of what I was wondering,

1601
01:17:03,760 --> 01:17:06,920
Speaker 14: because he does he has a good excuse. He has

1602
01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:10,639
Speaker 14: a job where he can't talk to me for hours

1603
01:17:10,680 --> 01:17:11,080
Speaker 14: at a time.

1604
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:14,639
Speaker 1: Said he has a good excuse, his dogs. He said,

1605
01:17:14,680 --> 01:17:18,519
Speaker 1: he has a job, job, job, Well, I mean, I

1606
01:17:19,120 --> 01:17:22,200
Speaker 1: mean the excuse, it doesn't even matter. It's like, she's

1607
01:17:22,200 --> 01:17:23,800
Speaker 1: twenty four, twenty four?

1608
01:17:24,160 --> 01:17:25,320
Speaker 3: Does he take you out all the time?

1609
01:17:27,680 --> 01:17:31,320
Speaker 14: No, I actually have been the initiator every time, which

1610
01:17:31,400 --> 01:17:33,240
Speaker 14: is why I feel like he's just reserved.

1611
01:17:34,960 --> 01:17:36,840
Speaker 1: Alex, are you like what are you looking?

1612
01:17:37,960 --> 01:17:38,439
Speaker 3: Why are you?

1613
01:17:38,880 --> 01:17:39,080
Speaker 2: Are you?

1614
01:17:39,320 --> 01:17:39,360
Speaker 8: Like?

1615
01:17:39,520 --> 01:17:41,680
Speaker 1: I am out for a relationship and so you're what

1616
01:17:41,760 --> 01:17:43,800
Speaker 1: you're on Tinder and like swiping and like out looking

1617
01:17:43,840 --> 01:17:45,960
Speaker 1: for something? Or did this guy just kind of happen

1618
01:17:46,240 --> 01:17:47,000
Speaker 1: into your life?

1619
01:17:48,840 --> 01:17:48,880
Speaker 5: No?

1620
01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:54,200
Speaker 14: No, So I actually, about seven months ago, got out

1621
01:17:54,200 --> 01:17:56,559
Speaker 14: of a really really bad relationship and I had kind

1622
01:17:56,600 --> 01:18:01,200
Speaker 14: of sworn it off and then I I was. I

1623
01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:06,439
Speaker 14: met him and it's so lame, but like we were

1624
01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:08,840
Speaker 14: just talking, Like I was getting embarrassed because I felt

1625
01:18:08,880 --> 01:18:10,960
Speaker 14: like I wouldn't shut up because I was so excited

1626
01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:12,519
Speaker 14: to talk to him and he was talking to me.

1627
01:18:14,479 --> 01:18:16,840
Speaker 14: So I found him on social media and I talked

1628
01:18:16,840 --> 01:18:18,280
Speaker 14: to him and I don't want anything.

1629
01:18:18,680 --> 01:18:20,040
Speaker 16: I guess, like I'm.

1630
01:18:19,840 --> 01:18:23,800
Speaker 14: Still feeling really reserved myself because of the last relationship.

1631
01:18:25,760 --> 01:18:27,920
Speaker 1: You do want to know, like how long you've been

1632
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:28,400
Speaker 1: talking to him?

1633
01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:30,120
Speaker 3: How long was the last one? Yeah?

1634
01:18:31,560 --> 01:18:33,000
Speaker 7: How long was so the last one was?

1635
01:18:34,920 --> 01:18:36,800
Speaker 14: How long ago was it? Or how long did it last?

1636
01:18:36,960 --> 01:18:39,720
Speaker 3: How long ago did it break up? For real?

1637
01:18:40,720 --> 01:18:41,240
Speaker 14: September?

1638
01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:44,720
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're still in the sort of reboundary get

1639
01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:46,840
Speaker 3: over at phase. I mean, it's about time to have

1640
01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:49,640
Speaker 3: a real relationship again. But but I don't know this

1641
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:52,800
Speaker 3: doesn't Does this guy do something very very special for you?

1642
01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:55,080
Speaker 3: Is there something about him that you can't find another person?

1643
01:18:57,439 --> 01:18:59,120
Speaker 14: No, But I mean that's kind of what I was saying,

1644
01:18:59,280 --> 01:19:01,560
Speaker 14: was like I didn't expect to want to talk to

1645
01:19:01,680 --> 01:19:03,880
Speaker 14: somebody like this already.

1646
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:07,320
Speaker 3: So for me to have that, you'll you'll you will

1647
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:10,960
Speaker 3: find it again. I will declare today with my get

1648
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:14,800
Speaker 3: go hand, you will find it today again. You will

1649
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:17,400
Speaker 3: find it again. That's that's you wanting to be connected

1650
01:19:17,400 --> 01:19:21,000
Speaker 3: to other people. And that's fine. But by the way,

1651
01:19:22,720 --> 01:19:26,000
Speaker 3: be careful with that that speed talking, you know, where

1652
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,040
Speaker 3: you can't stop talking to somebody. You know what I'm

1653
01:19:28,040 --> 01:19:31,040
Speaker 3: talking about. Men don't like Men don't.

1654
01:19:30,920 --> 01:19:36,360
Speaker 1: Like that the constant Yeah, well I don't know.

1655
01:19:36,400 --> 01:19:38,120
Speaker 3: I mean I I don't mind it because I find

1656
01:19:38,120 --> 01:19:40,360
Speaker 3: it entertaining, but I know generally men are just.

1657
01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:42,479
Speaker 1: The kind of well, well if if that's well, if

1658
01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:45,040
Speaker 1: if if she wants that, you know, do you think

1659
01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:46,880
Speaker 1: she should find a guy who like that?

1660
01:19:48,800 --> 01:19:50,840
Speaker 3: I mean that exists and that guy I like that stuff.

1661
01:19:50,880 --> 01:19:55,360
Speaker 3: I likes get that entertaining to just keep going. I

1662
01:19:55,400 --> 01:19:58,240
Speaker 3: don't I don't have to talk. It's good. I talk

1663
01:19:58,320 --> 01:19:59,720
Speaker 3: for a living. It's turned out.

1664
01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:05,000
Speaker 14: Uh, but that's something that I thought about as well,

1665
01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:07,439
Speaker 14: of like, maybe he's just not a texture and we

1666
01:20:07,600 --> 01:20:08,920
Speaker 14: just texted that much at first.

1667
01:20:09,080 --> 01:20:10,519
Speaker 3: You're over thinking it.

1668
01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:11,920
Speaker 14: That's the thing.

1669
01:20:12,040 --> 01:20:14,160
Speaker 1: If you're if you're even if you're even in this,

1670
01:20:14,400 --> 01:20:16,840
Speaker 1: if you're even in this realm of thinking about it

1671
01:20:16,960 --> 01:20:19,800
Speaker 1: too much, it's like a fucking you shouldn't have to

1672
01:20:19,840 --> 01:20:21,040
Speaker 1: think about this, just you.

1673
01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:23,599
Speaker 3: Should enjoy each other.

1674
01:20:24,120 --> 01:20:27,200
Speaker 7: That's that I'm too deep, Okay.

1675
01:20:27,320 --> 01:20:28,760
Speaker 1: Alex, good luck to you, Thanks for calling.

1676
01:20:28,840 --> 01:20:29,320
Speaker 3: Thanks Alex.

1677
01:20:31,720 --> 01:20:33,519
Speaker 1: I get a lot of I get a lot of

1678
01:20:33,560 --> 01:20:35,800
Speaker 1: calls like that on the show, and I'm always like,

1679
01:20:36,760 --> 01:20:37,639
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people.

1680
01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:39,320
Speaker 3: Seems like we got a lot of calls a where

1681
01:20:39,320 --> 01:20:40,320
Speaker 3: people shitting frequently.

1682
01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:42,920
Speaker 1: Saysn't everyone who takes a call in show get a

1683
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,040
Speaker 1: bunch of calls where people shouting frequently? Isn't that what

1684
01:20:46,040 --> 01:20:46,519
Speaker 1: I'm just saying.

1685
01:20:46,560 --> 01:20:49,679
Speaker 3: It's a certain platforms. Yeah, yeah, okay, but go ahead.

1686
01:20:49,840 --> 01:20:52,240
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like a lot of people I get

1687
01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:55,240
Speaker 1: a sense from them that there's like something missing from

1688
01:20:55,320 --> 01:20:58,800
Speaker 1: them or some happiness factor that they are trying to

1689
01:20:58,960 --> 01:21:01,920
Speaker 1: use a relationship to fill. And I'm always under the

1690
01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:04,200
Speaker 1: I'm always of the mindset of like, you should be

1691
01:21:04,240 --> 01:21:08,800
Speaker 1: able to feel complete completely on your own or yeah first, yes,

1692
01:21:09,320 --> 01:21:12,200
Speaker 1: then go out into the into the dating market.

1693
01:21:12,320 --> 01:21:15,439
Speaker 3: That is true, but very few people are comfortable in

1694
01:21:15,479 --> 01:21:18,360
Speaker 3: their own skin, very few people can be alone. Very

1695
01:21:18,400 --> 01:21:21,280
Speaker 3: few people, particularly when they're young, are complete. And that's

1696
01:21:21,360 --> 01:21:23,920
Speaker 3: that's the process of growing up is trying to bring

1697
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:27,320
Speaker 3: all the pieces together, and uh, yeah, you're right, but

1698
01:21:27,920 --> 01:21:31,080
Speaker 3: very few people are there. I mean, they're not calling you.

1699
01:21:31,160 --> 01:21:34,240
Speaker 3: Let's put it that way. Those are the ones calling.

1700
01:21:34,520 --> 01:21:36,080
Speaker 1: You know what, I always what I guess because a

1701
01:21:36,120 --> 01:21:38,120
Speaker 1: lot of you know, people tell me like, I'm pessimistic

1702
01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:41,040
Speaker 1: about love and relationships, but I just always see people

1703
01:21:41,080 --> 01:21:44,200
Speaker 1: getting like fucked because they're putting like like they need

1704
01:21:44,320 --> 01:21:46,639
Speaker 1: it so badly, and that's causing people to be dependent

1705
01:21:46,720 --> 01:21:48,479
Speaker 1: on other people instead of just being able to find it.

1706
01:21:48,520 --> 01:21:52,080
Speaker 3: With the correct bad boundaries, falling in love too fast,

1707
01:21:53,080 --> 01:21:56,760
Speaker 3: you know again, love addiction. You know, people in codependency

1708
01:21:56,800 --> 01:22:00,280
Speaker 3: are extremely calmon these days. And what I always tell people,

1709
01:22:00,320 --> 01:22:02,560
Speaker 3: if you have a certain pattern, if you have a

1710
01:22:02,640 --> 01:22:05,439
Speaker 3: pattern in relationships that you don't like this. This is

1711
01:22:05,520 --> 01:22:06,880
Speaker 3: one of my fundamental pieces of advice.

1712
01:22:07,000 --> 01:22:07,720
Speaker 1: Fundamentalists.

1713
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:10,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, so if you keep doing something over and over

1714
01:22:10,280 --> 01:22:13,320
Speaker 3: again and you can't stop, even though you keep picking

1715
01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:15,280
Speaker 3: guys that seem total let's say it's a female, sure,

1716
01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:18,439
Speaker 3: picking guys that are totally different, and yet they end

1717
01:22:18,520 --> 01:22:21,840
Speaker 3: up the same. Yeah, you are a perfect instrument the

1718
01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:24,920
Speaker 3: fact that you were attracted to that person. We don't

1719
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:27,200
Speaker 3: talk about where attractions come from the fact that you

1720
01:22:27,360 --> 01:22:30,040
Speaker 3: felt lightning bolts when you saw that person should be

1721
01:22:30,479 --> 01:22:32,920
Speaker 3: all you need to know that that will be the

1722
01:22:33,040 --> 01:22:35,599
Speaker 3: kind of person that will do the pattern again, because

1723
01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:38,360
Speaker 3: you are a perfect instrument. So what we always tell

1724
01:22:38,439 --> 01:22:41,040
Speaker 3: people is if you have those patterns and the lightning

1725
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:44,920
Speaker 3: bolts end up the same every time, don't respond to

1726
01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:47,920
Speaker 3: the lightning bolts. Think butterflies, not lightning bolts. So you

1727
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,439
Speaker 3: can be kind of, you know, nicely attracted, but if

1728
01:22:50,439 --> 01:22:52,519
Speaker 3: it's not company with that person, you know what you're

1729
01:22:52,560 --> 01:22:54,080
Speaker 3: in for. You're a perfect instrument.

1730
01:22:54,439 --> 01:22:59,200
Speaker 1: Butterflies, nothing lightning bolts. I feel like it can be

1731
01:22:59,280 --> 01:23:02,200
Speaker 1: hard to tell the difference. Sometimes maybe it is, and

1732
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:02,839
Speaker 1: I don't.

1733
01:23:02,680 --> 01:23:04,960
Speaker 3: Mind a little bit of lightning. You know, it's just

1734
01:23:05,040 --> 01:23:08,000
Speaker 3: the you just just know that that's that pattern, and

1735
01:23:08,240 --> 01:23:10,160
Speaker 3: you know, you take a look that person's going to

1736
01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:13,240
Speaker 3: abandon you or abuse your whatever your pattern is, and

1737
01:23:13,360 --> 01:23:15,560
Speaker 3: see if it's somebody that you can have process with.

1738
01:23:15,760 --> 01:23:18,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, what do you think about this someone who's like,

1739
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:21,960
Speaker 1: if I'm not feeling those lightning bolts, what a someone

1740
01:23:21,960 --> 01:23:24,800
Speaker 1: who's like, those lightning bolts are the reason I get

1741
01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:26,360
Speaker 1: into relaicious If I'm not feeling those.

1742
01:23:26,640 --> 01:23:29,559
Speaker 3: I have to have lightning bolts. That means therapy. Yeah,

1743
01:23:29,640 --> 01:23:32,280
Speaker 3: that means therapy. You know, if you're somebody has good

1744
01:23:32,280 --> 01:23:34,360
Speaker 3: patterns in your relationships and then you can rely on

1745
01:23:34,439 --> 01:23:37,120
Speaker 3: your feelings and your attractions. But if you had something

1746
01:23:37,160 --> 01:23:39,960
Speaker 3: that twisted them, abandonment, neglect, abuse, that kind of thing

1747
01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:42,479
Speaker 3: in childhood, you got to get that healed. Is it

1748
01:23:42,600 --> 01:23:45,280
Speaker 3: always a thing relating to childhood? Oh? Yeah, that's when

1749
01:23:45,320 --> 01:23:47,600
Speaker 3: our brain is wired. That's so the wiring gets set up.

1750
01:23:47,800 --> 01:23:49,800
Speaker 3: And once it's set up, it is set up. And

1751
01:23:49,920 --> 01:23:52,280
Speaker 3: you have to do very very specific things to change

1752
01:23:52,320 --> 01:23:55,800
Speaker 3: that wiring. And I gotta go to therapy. Good, you

1753
01:23:56,040 --> 01:23:58,519
Speaker 3: like it, It's awesome. This is the big misconception people

1754
01:23:58,560 --> 01:24:01,760
Speaker 3: have you. You know again, a good therapist is you're

1755
01:24:01,800 --> 01:24:04,479
Speaker 3: in charge, you're conducting, you're you know, you're the one

1756
01:24:04,520 --> 01:24:08,080
Speaker 3: in the mirror, developing the process and changing or not

1757
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:11,920
Speaker 3: changing as you wish. And whatever you're getting into, even

1758
01:24:11,960 --> 01:24:14,280
Speaker 3: if it's painful material, they will only let you go

1759
01:24:14,680 --> 01:24:19,559
Speaker 3: in tolerable doses. Yes, So it's not overwhelming or shattering,

1760
01:24:19,640 --> 01:24:21,880
Speaker 3: it's just just what you can tolerate. Just slowly get

1761
01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:28,519
Speaker 3: into it. So what your deep in thought, deep in thought,

1762
01:24:28,760 --> 01:24:29,639
Speaker 3: Gecko thought.

1763
01:24:29,640 --> 01:24:31,880
Speaker 1: Oh, definitely, deep in, deep in, deep in Gecko thought,

1764
01:24:31,920 --> 01:24:34,040
Speaker 1: do you do you feel you know, I asked you

1765
01:24:34,120 --> 01:24:35,599
Speaker 1: at the beginning of this, But now that you've sort

1766
01:24:35,640 --> 01:24:38,400
Speaker 1: of been sitting here for an hour and twenty minutes,

1767
01:24:38,439 --> 01:24:40,200
Speaker 1: do you feel any different as a gecko?

1768
01:24:40,920 --> 01:24:41,160
Speaker 3: Okay?

1769
01:24:41,160 --> 01:24:45,000
Speaker 1: These feelings that we started with humiliation.

1770
01:24:44,920 --> 01:24:46,280
Speaker 3: And oh the humiliation went away.

1771
01:24:46,360 --> 01:24:48,080
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, you're feeling like this went away.

1772
01:24:49,160 --> 01:24:51,479
Speaker 3: But I have been humiliated, so it's all done, so

1773
01:24:51,640 --> 01:24:54,400
Speaker 3: I have to worry about being further humiliated, which is nice.

1774
01:24:55,720 --> 01:24:59,000
Speaker 3: The the pajama quality is almost overwhelming. Oh yeah, I

1775
01:24:59,640 --> 01:25:03,880
Speaker 3: want to myself. Oh yeah, the music, that's that's the

1776
01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:06,320
Speaker 3: part that's troubling me. I'm yawning occasion, I'm thinking, what

1777
01:25:06,360 --> 01:25:10,519
Speaker 3: the hell? What am I doing anything else about this? Yeah?

1778
01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:12,439
Speaker 3: Like I said, I feel like I should be uh,

1779
01:25:12,800 --> 01:25:14,800
Speaker 3: you know a couple of flies that might be nice

1780
01:25:14,840 --> 01:25:17,439
Speaker 3: right now. And I've learned all about how to express

1781
01:25:17,520 --> 01:25:19,640
Speaker 3: myself sexually as a great gecko, and this is this

1782
01:25:19,800 --> 01:25:20,839
Speaker 3: is improvement.

1783
01:25:20,920 --> 01:25:24,080
Speaker 1: You eating crickets before I have actually have, would.

1784
01:25:23,840 --> 01:25:27,320
Speaker 3: You think uh too, garl cave for me, Yeah, I'd

1785
01:25:27,439 --> 01:25:31,920
Speaker 3: rather have some fresh cricket. I think especially now, Now,

1786
01:25:32,000 --> 01:25:34,400
Speaker 3: did the gecko tongue stick the way the gecko feet do?

1787
01:25:35,280 --> 01:25:35,400
Speaker 2: Uh?

1788
01:25:35,960 --> 01:25:38,560
Speaker 3: These big platform.

1789
01:25:38,240 --> 01:25:40,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like the way it works that there's there's

1790
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:43,160
Speaker 1: a little sticky hairs on this. Yeah, I think I

1791
01:25:44,040 --> 01:25:45,280
Speaker 1: I used to know the word for I think it's

1792
01:25:45,280 --> 01:25:49,880
Speaker 1: called it starts with a sealy celia celia. Yeah, on

1793
01:25:50,040 --> 01:25:52,160
Speaker 1: all I'm pretty sure they're on all parts. But I'm

1794
01:25:52,160 --> 01:25:53,080
Speaker 1: pretty sure they're on the feet.

1795
01:25:53,160 --> 01:25:56,759
Speaker 3: Sure the tongue do I will stick to stuff?

1796
01:25:56,840 --> 01:25:56,960
Speaker 12: Oh?

1797
01:25:57,040 --> 01:25:59,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's a tongue sticky too. I'm sticky.

1798
01:25:59,320 --> 01:26:01,479
Speaker 1: It's I know what I can do. It extends pretty far.

1799
01:26:01,760 --> 01:26:02,280
Speaker 3: Yeah. Good.

1800
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:04,639
Speaker 1: I mean that's why people confuse me for a frog

1801
01:26:04,640 --> 01:26:06,120
Speaker 1: all the time, because geckos and frogs they do have

1802
01:26:06,240 --> 01:26:07,120
Speaker 1: very similar.

1803
01:26:07,880 --> 01:26:09,160
Speaker 3: You're just leaner and longer.

1804
01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:12,200
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, And hopefully nobody googles any of this and

1805
01:26:12,280 --> 01:26:14,320
Speaker 1: realizes that I'm completely have no idea what.

1806
01:26:14,320 --> 01:26:24,080
Speaker 3: I'm talking about. Okay, good times, dow.

1807
01:26:26,439 --> 01:26:26,639
Speaker 8: Yes.

1808
01:26:28,280 --> 01:26:31,519
Speaker 1: Now it says here that on love Line ten years ago,

1809
01:26:31,680 --> 01:26:35,560
Speaker 1: you said the words big fat cock, and you like

1810
01:26:35,640 --> 01:26:36,560
Speaker 1: to apologize to you.

1811
01:26:36,760 --> 01:26:38,320
Speaker 5: I actually said big fucking cock?

1812
01:26:38,640 --> 01:26:40,839
Speaker 3: Oh okay, was that a and you have to apologize

1813
01:26:40,880 --> 01:26:41,280
Speaker 3: to who.

1814
01:26:43,120 --> 01:26:45,599
Speaker 5: I want to apologize to you, Doctor Drew. I've been

1815
01:26:45,680 --> 01:26:49,720
Speaker 5: carrying this burden for over a decade and and it

1816
01:26:49,920 --> 01:26:53,000
Speaker 5: hurts me every time I listen to you on Doctor

1817
01:26:53,080 --> 01:26:53,920
Speaker 5: Drew after Dark.

1818
01:26:54,160 --> 01:26:56,880
Speaker 7: Oh, and I want to move on with my life.

1819
01:26:56,960 --> 01:27:00,839
Speaker 5: And and uh, I'm so glad I get to finally.

1820
01:27:00,960 --> 01:27:04,840
Speaker 3: Okay, Now, I accept your apology wholeheartedly, and I appreciate

1821
01:27:04,920 --> 01:27:07,280
Speaker 3: the manner in which it is offered, and I forgive

1822
01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:10,160
Speaker 3: you completely. And I assure you that there were no

1823
01:27:10,360 --> 01:27:15,720
Speaker 3: consequences for me in the big cock comment. Uh, And

1824
01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:18,439
Speaker 3: so I want you to not not feel guilty. We're

1825
01:27:18,479 --> 01:27:20,760
Speaker 3: all good, and I appreciate the apology.

1826
01:27:22,720 --> 01:27:24,680
Speaker 5: Thank you, doctor Juwan. Just so you know, me and

1827
01:27:24,760 --> 01:27:26,640
Speaker 5: my big fat cock aer doing fantastic.

1828
01:27:26,720 --> 01:27:30,840
Speaker 3: Oh that is great news. That is great. It's amazing news. Congratulations,

1829
01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:35,200
Speaker 3: Thank you to both of you. That's right, see you Jeans.

1830
01:27:35,720 --> 01:27:37,760
Speaker 1: So you're learning all of our Oh yeah, I feel

1831
01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:38,320
Speaker 1: like I'm getting in.

1832
01:27:39,920 --> 01:27:45,160
Speaker 3: Sort of a looha. It's all greetings and farewells. You

1833
01:27:45,240 --> 01:27:46,560
Speaker 3: better believe I'll be coming up in me is a

1834
01:27:46,600 --> 01:27:49,519
Speaker 3: good one, and touch my camera through the fence. You'll

1835
01:27:49,560 --> 01:27:50,760
Speaker 3: hear that in a minute, No doubt. You have a

1836
01:27:50,840 --> 01:27:54,559
Speaker 3: lot of Lore to you and Lore, yes, Lore, because

1837
01:27:55,479 --> 01:27:57,519
Speaker 3: this is all of your mom's house. Lore being law

1838
01:27:57,720 --> 01:28:00,639
Speaker 3: in my career overall, I would say, so, okay, tell

1839
01:28:00,680 --> 01:28:03,040
Speaker 3: me how well I mean, this is all your mom's house.

1840
01:28:03,160 --> 01:28:04,640
Speaker 3: This is all your mom's house stuff, this is this

1841
01:28:04,760 --> 01:28:12,920
Speaker 3: is all current hip now podcast stuff in these So

1842
01:28:13,040 --> 01:28:16,720
Speaker 3: it's it's tried it out, tried out. Uh, it's uh,

1843
01:28:16,800 --> 01:28:18,920
Speaker 3: touched my cameras through the fence. It's you better. Billie

1844
01:28:18,960 --> 01:28:21,320
Speaker 3: will be coming up in May. It's aii you'll hear,

1845
01:28:21,479 --> 01:28:22,160
Speaker 3: you'll hear more of it.

1846
01:28:22,320 --> 01:28:24,120
Speaker 1: How often are people coming up to be like I

1847
01:28:24,200 --> 01:28:26,000
Speaker 1: called you on the phone twenty years ago?

1848
01:28:26,200 --> 01:28:30,000
Speaker 3: Rare? Right, rare? Because most people, you know, they're really

1849
01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:33,360
Speaker 3: adults now they're they're not thinking about that. Yeah, so

1850
01:28:33,840 --> 01:28:35,960
Speaker 3: they probably call when they were twenty two. You'll get it.

1851
01:28:36,320 --> 01:28:39,360
Speaker 3: It's the same for you when you were dusted up

1852
01:28:39,360 --> 01:28:42,240
Speaker 3: as a gecko ten years ago. Yeah, I'm wondering a little.

1853
01:28:42,439 --> 01:28:44,280
Speaker 1: Will people, you know, they'll tell you and they're in

1854
01:28:44,320 --> 01:28:47,040
Speaker 1: their thirties be like, hey, you know I called you

1855
01:28:47,320 --> 01:28:49,040
Speaker 1: and you told me something and now I'm fucked up

1856
01:28:49,040 --> 01:28:49,680
Speaker 1: and I'm blaming you.

1857
01:28:49,800 --> 01:28:51,320
Speaker 3: They won't tell you that. They don't think they'll tell

1858
01:28:51,320 --> 01:28:54,120
Speaker 3: you that, but they'll tell you that. I called, So

1859
01:28:54,760 --> 01:28:55,799
Speaker 3: let's talk to Kathy.

1860
01:28:59,680 --> 01:29:03,240
Speaker 1: Hello, Kathy, Hi.

1861
01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:06,320
Speaker 3: Hi, Kathy, Hi.

1862
01:29:06,560 --> 01:29:07,479
Speaker 7: How are you good?

1863
01:29:07,520 --> 01:29:08,439
Speaker 3: What's happening to good?

1864
01:29:08,479 --> 01:29:09,639
Speaker 1: How can I get you this evening?

1865
01:29:13,120 --> 01:29:17,120
Speaker 6: So I called and then I got a message from

1866
01:29:17,160 --> 01:29:22,519
Speaker 6: my partner that you have a sexual sexual vibe that

1867
01:29:22,640 --> 01:29:23,679
Speaker 6: sounds it sounds awful.

1868
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:24,600
Speaker 20: I don't know how to phrase it.

1869
01:29:24,640 --> 01:29:25,360
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.

1870
01:29:26,600 --> 01:29:29,720
Speaker 1: No apology apology needed, Just spill it out there.

1871
01:29:31,479 --> 01:29:32,000
Speaker 3: What's going on?

1872
01:29:32,400 --> 01:29:32,439
Speaker 10: So?

1873
01:29:34,000 --> 01:29:38,599
Speaker 20: So I'm thirty two, the thirty three in August. So yeah,

1874
01:29:38,880 --> 01:29:43,160
Speaker 20: so number one, Uh, I feel like a sex drive

1875
01:29:43,640 --> 01:29:46,439
Speaker 20: not as as strong as I'd like it to be.

1876
01:29:49,160 --> 01:29:52,560
Speaker 20: And I mostly blame the Zoloft that I'm on on

1877
01:29:52,880 --> 01:29:53,840
Speaker 20: Gonne what what.

1878
01:29:54,000 --> 01:29:54,840
Speaker 3: What do you want? Wait? What?

1879
01:29:56,280 --> 01:29:56,400
Speaker 8: Oh?

1880
01:29:56,479 --> 01:29:58,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that'll do it. That, that will do it.

1881
01:29:58,680 --> 01:30:02,640
Speaker 3: That will shut you down. And uh, it's it's a

1882
01:30:02,800 --> 01:30:06,360
Speaker 3: serious thing and it just can destroy relationships. And doctors

1883
01:30:06,400 --> 01:30:09,280
Speaker 3: don't talk enough to their patients about this. No, it

1884
01:30:09,360 --> 01:30:14,200
Speaker 3: can affect any The SSRI class of antidepressants can affect

1885
01:30:14,320 --> 01:30:19,479
Speaker 3: any stage of the sexual cycle, from arousal to erection,

1886
01:30:19,680 --> 01:30:24,240
Speaker 3: to lubrication to pain with intercourse to orgasm. Every piece

1887
01:30:24,280 --> 01:30:28,040
Speaker 3: can be affected, and you should. You should be able

1888
01:30:28,080 --> 01:30:30,240
Speaker 3: to get on something that doesn't do that so much.

1889
01:30:30,320 --> 01:30:32,519
Speaker 3: You got to talk. And if your doctor doesn't know

1890
01:30:32,680 --> 01:30:35,599
Speaker 3: the field enough, like he's not a psychiatrist, go see

1891
01:30:35,640 --> 01:30:39,200
Speaker 3: a specialist and say, look, my depression is bad, but

1892
01:30:39,280 --> 01:30:41,600
Speaker 3: I don't want to ruin my relationships, you know, to

1893
01:30:41,880 --> 01:30:45,280
Speaker 3: to help my depression. You shouldn't have all right, all

1894
01:30:45,320 --> 01:30:48,040
Speaker 3: right or whatever. You shouldn't have to do that. There's millions,

1895
01:30:48,120 --> 01:30:50,600
Speaker 3: there's ten different ways you could you could address that,

1896
01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:52,880
Speaker 3: and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You shouldn't feel

1897
01:30:52,880 --> 01:30:55,200
Speaker 3: bad about it. I feel bad when my peers do

1898
01:30:55,280 --> 01:30:58,080
Speaker 3: this to people. I've seen marriages destroyed by this and

1899
01:30:58,120 --> 01:31:00,960
Speaker 3: went and be oftentimes because the doctrine never even told

1900
01:31:01,040 --> 01:31:04,320
Speaker 3: them that this was going to happen. It's very common

1901
01:31:05,120 --> 01:31:08,320
Speaker 3: and so by all means, by all means, talk to

1902
01:31:08,400 --> 01:31:10,880
Speaker 3: somebody about it. And you shouldn't feel bad about it.

1903
01:31:10,880 --> 01:31:15,759
Speaker 3: And I hope your boyfriend, boyfriend, your boyfriend girlfriend girlfriend.

1904
01:31:15,920 --> 01:31:17,759
Speaker 20: I actually I have a little bit of a unique situation.

1905
01:31:17,840 --> 01:31:18,120
Speaker 3: Who I was.

1906
01:31:18,439 --> 01:31:20,160
Speaker 20: I was going to ask you some advice about that too.

1907
01:31:21,280 --> 01:31:22,280
Speaker 1: Girlfriend girlfriend?

1908
01:31:22,320 --> 01:31:24,240
Speaker 3: So is she pressuring you at all, ars anything or

1909
01:31:25,000 --> 01:31:30,320
Speaker 3: make you feel bad about it. Okay, good, that's good.

1910
01:31:30,400 --> 01:31:32,720
Speaker 3: So that's good. So so she's you know, with you

1911
01:31:32,840 --> 01:31:34,479
Speaker 3: on this. And but even I'm sure she'd love to

1912
01:31:34,520 --> 01:31:36,160
Speaker 3: see you a little more too. So good. I mean,

1913
01:31:36,960 --> 01:31:39,479
Speaker 3: and if and if your anxiety or your psychiatric issue

1914
01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:42,400
Speaker 3: is so profound that you don't want to risk it, still,

1915
01:31:42,560 --> 01:31:48,040
Speaker 3: that should be discussed explicitly with your with the prescribing doctors. Okay, okay,

1916
01:31:48,560 --> 01:31:50,720
Speaker 3: good for you, Good for you. What about this? You

1917
01:31:50,760 --> 01:31:52,400
Speaker 3: said there was some other weird thing going on, something

1918
01:31:52,400 --> 01:31:57,840
Speaker 3: else going on. I don't mean weird. I listen, I

1919
01:31:57,920 --> 01:32:00,280
Speaker 3: don't apologize, and I mean weird, some some thing else

1920
01:32:00,360 --> 01:32:00,600
Speaker 3: going on.

1921
01:32:02,160 --> 01:32:02,800
Speaker 6: O's fine.

1922
01:32:04,040 --> 01:32:07,360
Speaker 20: So my girlfriend is a transfomer who is not seeking

1923
01:32:07,520 --> 01:32:11,960
Speaker 20: bottom surgery, and uh, I'm obviously.

1924
01:32:11,800 --> 01:32:13,800
Speaker 6: Totally fine with that. We vibe.

1925
01:32:13,920 --> 01:32:16,960
Speaker 20: You know, she gives me the business, I give her

1926
01:32:17,040 --> 01:32:20,400
Speaker 20: the business. It's a grand old time not to be

1927
01:32:20,520 --> 01:32:25,479
Speaker 20: too boulder. My My question is, so I work, and

1928
01:32:25,880 --> 01:32:28,479
Speaker 20: I have a pretty physical job. I come home, I'm

1929
01:32:28,520 --> 01:32:30,280
Speaker 20: so I'm hired. I don't want to make it's someway

1930
01:32:30,280 --> 01:32:35,800
Speaker 20: that work construction, but you know, I'm yea and and

1931
01:32:36,560 --> 01:32:39,320
Speaker 20: you know he can sometime working up the energy.

1932
01:32:40,120 --> 01:32:45,040
Speaker 3: Uh two, you know, no, I get it, but you're

1933
01:32:45,040 --> 01:32:47,880
Speaker 3: getting but you're getting what's her name, sorry, Kathy, Kathy.

1934
01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:50,120
Speaker 3: You're getting a double whammy though. I mean, you're getting

1935
01:32:50,160 --> 01:32:53,439
Speaker 3: the low libidos. You don't have the motivation to step

1936
01:32:53,560 --> 01:32:55,799
Speaker 3: up and you know, try to push past the fatigue,

1937
01:32:56,040 --> 01:32:58,400
Speaker 3: and you've got the fatigue, which is real, it's real.

1938
01:32:58,880 --> 01:33:00,960
Speaker 3: I mean, you're entitled, hired at the end of the day,

1939
01:33:01,439 --> 01:33:05,040
Speaker 3: so I but when things go like this, it's the

1940
01:33:05,120 --> 01:33:07,280
Speaker 3: medicine more than anything, it really is. And that it's

1941
01:33:07,320 --> 01:33:10,479
Speaker 3: so sad to me that when people lose that they

1942
01:33:10,600 --> 01:33:12,800
Speaker 3: lose a certain kind of connection with their partner. That

1943
01:33:14,320 --> 01:33:16,080
Speaker 3: it can be, it can be. It's I don't know,

1944
01:33:16,280 --> 01:33:19,160
Speaker 3: I don't like it when that happens. You're losing an

1945
01:33:19,240 --> 01:33:25,439
Speaker 3: important piece, or at least you're reducing. Go ahead, go ahead.

1946
01:33:26,200 --> 01:33:28,360
Speaker 20: So you're saying that if I talk to my doctor

1947
01:33:28,400 --> 01:33:32,680
Speaker 20: and get my SSR right, which the fatigue from work

1948
01:33:32,760 --> 01:33:34,719
Speaker 20: won't be No, I'm.

1949
01:33:34,600 --> 01:33:36,800
Speaker 3: Not saying I'm not. I'm not really. Yeah, it's that's

1950
01:33:36,840 --> 01:33:39,839
Speaker 3: it's what I'm saying. I'm saying, you'll still have the fatigue,

1951
01:33:39,920 --> 01:33:43,240
Speaker 3: but you'll if you're if you're if you have libido,

1952
01:33:43,720 --> 01:33:45,640
Speaker 3: You'll find ways around it. You'll figure that out, right,

1953
01:33:45,720 --> 01:33:51,280
Speaker 3: I mean you figure it out when you're yes, yes,

1954
01:33:52,000 --> 01:33:55,600
Speaker 3: but but I'm glad your partner is is giving you

1955
01:33:55,680 --> 01:33:57,519
Speaker 3: what do you say, giving each other the business? But

1956
01:33:58,479 --> 01:34:02,320
Speaker 3: like that, I like that each other the business. Congratulations.

1957
01:34:02,400 --> 01:34:04,040
Speaker 3: It sounds like like a cool relationship.

1958
01:34:04,160 --> 01:34:08,479
Speaker 20: And yeah, it's beautiful. I love her very much.

1959
01:34:08,560 --> 01:34:09,799
Speaker 3: Good, that's awesome.

1960
01:34:10,439 --> 01:34:13,960
Speaker 1: They found someone that I have. You been searching for

1961
01:34:14,040 --> 01:34:14,679
Speaker 1: a long time.

1962
01:34:14,840 --> 01:34:16,880
Speaker 3: The difference by the way between people are like, I

1963
01:34:16,920 --> 01:34:18,479
Speaker 3: don't know, I don't know, I don't know. It's like, no, no,

1964
01:34:18,560 --> 01:34:19,759
Speaker 3: I'm good, right exactly.

1965
01:34:19,800 --> 01:34:21,559
Speaker 1: You know, going back into what we were just talking about,

1966
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:24,200
Speaker 1: it seems like you guys, there's there's no questions being

1967
01:34:24,280 --> 01:34:24,720
Speaker 1: asked here.

1968
01:34:25,080 --> 01:34:27,200
Speaker 3: They're just good and that's that's what you're looking for.

1969
01:34:29,160 --> 01:34:30,960
Speaker 20: Yeah, no, I I I love it very much, And

1970
01:34:31,000 --> 01:34:33,559
Speaker 20: I have been searching for a long time. I dated

1971
01:34:34,400 --> 01:34:39,800
Speaker 20: a slew of losers. I had my own issues too,

1972
01:34:39,920 --> 01:34:44,200
Speaker 20: but I picked I picked a winner this time and

1973
01:34:44,360 --> 01:34:47,120
Speaker 20: thanks to her wonderful steps on and that's great.

1974
01:34:47,200 --> 01:34:49,400
Speaker 3: Takes what it takes, takes what it takes. Like my

1975
01:34:49,600 --> 01:34:51,200
Speaker 3: my wife always says, you gotta kiss a lot of

1976
01:34:51,280 --> 01:34:52,760
Speaker 3: frogs or get goes in our case.

1977
01:34:53,400 --> 01:34:57,960
Speaker 20: Yeah, well, thank you so much. I'm definitely going to

1978
01:34:58,000 --> 01:34:58,519
Speaker 20: talk to my dog.

1979
01:34:58,640 --> 01:35:00,439
Speaker 3: Yes, please do please do it make be sad?

1980
01:35:00,880 --> 01:35:02,559
Speaker 1: How long were you searching before you found your wife?

1981
01:35:02,760 --> 01:35:02,960
Speaker 8: Yeah?

1982
01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:06,920
Speaker 3: I was twenty four when we connected, twenty four, but

1983
01:35:07,000 --> 01:35:08,920
Speaker 3: then we were on and off for seven years. Got

1984
01:35:08,960 --> 01:35:09,880
Speaker 3: married in thirty one.

1985
01:35:10,280 --> 01:35:12,439
Speaker 1: Okay, so when you say on and off, what was

1986
01:35:12,840 --> 01:35:13,800
Speaker 1: what was the on and off?

1987
01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:17,960
Speaker 3: Theah off was we were in our twenties and we

1988
01:35:18,040 --> 01:35:19,960
Speaker 3: were living in different cities, and we were I was

1989
01:35:20,000 --> 01:35:22,040
Speaker 3: an idiot and wasn't ready and that kind of stuff.

1990
01:35:22,720 --> 01:35:24,280
Speaker 3: So I blame myself more than anything.

1991
01:35:25,040 --> 01:35:27,200
Speaker 1: Was there any of that going on? You know what

1992
01:35:27,280 --> 01:35:29,679
Speaker 1: we told that previous caller of like, you know, if

1993
01:35:29,760 --> 01:35:31,960
Speaker 1: they want to be with you, they will, If they won't,

1994
01:35:32,000 --> 01:35:32,360
Speaker 1: they won't.

1995
01:35:32,520 --> 01:35:34,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a little different. It was a little different.

1996
01:35:34,479 --> 01:35:35,840
Speaker 3: It was I really wanted to be with her, but

1997
01:35:35,880 --> 01:35:38,000
Speaker 3: I really didn't want to get married, and she really

1998
01:35:38,080 --> 01:35:40,000
Speaker 3: did want to get married, and I just I just

1999
01:35:40,080 --> 01:35:41,800
Speaker 3: knew I wasn't ready. I just wasn't ready. I was

2000
01:35:41,880 --> 01:35:44,679
Speaker 3: I barely had my head on my shoulders. I couldn't

2001
01:35:44,680 --> 01:35:46,400
Speaker 3: have done it. And I would have screwed things up.

2002
01:35:46,439 --> 01:35:49,000
Speaker 3: I'm sure had we tried. Well, a lot of men

2003
01:35:49,040 --> 01:35:51,160
Speaker 3: will feel feel that they feel like I need to

2004
01:35:51,200 --> 01:35:53,519
Speaker 3: be at a certain place to be ready, of course,

2005
01:35:53,640 --> 01:35:55,400
Speaker 3: or else I just well, not everyone feels that way.

2006
01:35:55,400 --> 01:35:57,600
Speaker 3: Some people were just ready to go. But some of

2007
01:35:57,680 --> 01:36:01,400
Speaker 3: us are just like, I gotta understand and what I'm doing,

2008
01:36:01,479 --> 01:36:03,479
Speaker 3: who I am, what my career I just had. I

2009
01:36:03,520 --> 01:36:06,160
Speaker 3: couldn't have done it. I couldn't. I just became anathema

2010
01:36:06,240 --> 01:36:08,200
Speaker 3: to me. And when I was ready, I was ready.

2011
01:36:08,320 --> 01:36:09,360
Speaker 1: How did you know that you were ready?

2012
01:36:10,439 --> 01:36:12,920
Speaker 3: I didn't really. She came back into my life and

2013
01:36:13,040 --> 01:36:16,559
Speaker 3: it felt totally different, and she started pushing the issue again.

2014
01:36:16,640 --> 01:36:19,320
Speaker 3: I was like, ah, I definitely want to be with you.

2015
01:36:19,880 --> 01:36:22,200
Speaker 3: I mean, there's really something here and it has just

2016
01:36:22,439 --> 01:36:26,560
Speaker 3: expanded since then. And and you know, the really, I

2017
01:36:26,640 --> 01:36:29,559
Speaker 3: always tell people the asset test is on your wedding

2018
01:36:29,640 --> 01:36:31,840
Speaker 3: day walking to the altar, and at the altar.

2019
01:36:32,560 --> 01:36:34,360
Speaker 1: You feel like you don't know until.

2020
01:36:34,400 --> 01:36:37,800
Speaker 3: Well, you'll have a very vivid experience. I predict if

2021
01:36:37,840 --> 01:36:40,000
Speaker 3: you really want to be there, but if I really

2022
01:36:40,040 --> 01:36:41,400
Speaker 3: don't want to be If you really don't want to

2023
01:36:41,400 --> 01:36:43,240
Speaker 3: be there, you'll have cold feet yeah, you'll start thinking

2024
01:36:43,280 --> 01:36:44,519
Speaker 3: what am I doing? Why am I doing this? I

2025
01:36:44,560 --> 01:36:47,639
Speaker 3: should run away? People have those thoughts. Every time I've

2026
01:36:47,640 --> 01:36:50,400
Speaker 3: heard somebody talk about that, it doesn't go well for me.

2027
01:36:51,120 --> 01:36:54,640
Speaker 3: I felt more like, oh my god, this is exactly

2028
01:36:54,760 --> 01:36:58,439
Speaker 3: what I want to be. Screw anybody who told me

2029
01:36:58,640 --> 01:37:01,120
Speaker 3: had doubts or what I should or shouldn't do this,

2030
01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:04,400
Speaker 3: screw all and just oh my god, I was so

2031
01:37:04,560 --> 01:37:08,640
Speaker 3: angry at everybody who was, you know, and I was

2032
01:37:08,720 --> 01:37:12,080
Speaker 3: so It's such clarity, such clarity and intensity too, like

2033
01:37:12,160 --> 01:37:13,840
Speaker 3: I want to be here, this is what I want

2034
01:37:13,840 --> 01:37:14,160
Speaker 3: to be doing.

2035
01:37:14,320 --> 01:37:16,320
Speaker 1: And do you feel like anything less than I feel

2036
01:37:16,320 --> 01:37:18,479
Speaker 1: like I would agree with that. Where anything less than that.

2037
01:37:19,320 --> 01:37:21,479
Speaker 3: I feel bad for you if it's less If you

2038
01:37:21,560 --> 01:37:25,040
Speaker 3: have cold feet want to run, do so because it

2039
01:37:25,120 --> 01:37:26,120
Speaker 3: will have consequence.

2040
01:37:26,960 --> 01:37:32,160
Speaker 1: Have you seen in your experience lots of the times

2041
01:37:32,200 --> 01:37:34,960
Speaker 1: where like that'll just just drag out for a very

2042
01:37:35,240 --> 01:37:38,280
Speaker 1: very long time. People who should not be together.

2043
01:37:38,360 --> 01:37:41,759
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, especially when they have these big, expensive

2044
01:37:42,000 --> 01:37:44,080
Speaker 3: marriages and the weddings and they want to you know,

2045
01:37:44,320 --> 01:37:46,080
Speaker 3: oh my family will kill me and blah blah blah.

2046
01:37:46,280 --> 01:37:46,439
Speaker 8: Yeah.

2047
01:37:46,520 --> 01:37:46,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

2048
01:37:46,920 --> 01:37:48,320
Speaker 1: Do you what do you think of the primary reasons

2049
01:37:48,360 --> 01:37:51,880
Speaker 1: for that these like you know, social shame or anything like.

2050
01:37:51,880 --> 01:37:54,000
Speaker 3: That, why they stick with it? Yeah, well they they're

2051
01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:56,920
Speaker 3: doing well. There's a million reasons, but but a common

2052
01:37:57,000 --> 01:38:01,400
Speaker 3: one is they're doing their marrying somebody that they think

2053
01:38:01,400 --> 01:38:04,320
Speaker 3: they're supposed to marry. Sure, that kind of thing. Sure,

2054
01:38:05,080 --> 01:38:08,160
Speaker 3: And it's one thing that your scripts match, like your

2055
01:38:08,439 --> 01:38:10,920
Speaker 3: your life. You have similar life courses, you come from

2056
01:38:10,960 --> 01:38:13,240
Speaker 3: similar systems. You understand things the same way. You have

2057
01:38:13,280 --> 01:38:18,160
Speaker 3: the same goals, same everything that's different than this guy

2058
01:38:18,360 --> 01:38:21,320
Speaker 3: or this gal fits a you know, checks a bunch

2059
01:38:21,320 --> 01:38:23,600
Speaker 3: of boxes, which people do a lot of that. They

2060
01:38:23,680 --> 01:38:25,760
Speaker 3: do a lot of that weddings and and then the

2061
01:38:25,800 --> 01:38:28,360
Speaker 3: families get excited about that if a lot of boxes

2062
01:38:28,400 --> 01:38:29,680
Speaker 3: are checked and they put on.

2063
01:38:29,760 --> 01:38:31,880
Speaker 1: Big Now they're dealing with pressure from the mom and

2064
01:38:31,960 --> 01:38:34,760
Speaker 1: the dad of like you can now our families are

2065
01:38:34,800 --> 01:38:35,960
Speaker 1: all married, and you spend a.

2066
01:38:35,960 --> 01:38:40,559
Speaker 3: Million dollars and too many beautiful weddings and shitty marriages.

2067
01:38:41,439 --> 01:38:43,719
Speaker 3: The marriage is what's supposed to be nice, not the wedding.

2068
01:38:44,960 --> 01:38:46,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the fact that people will like go

2069
01:38:46,400 --> 01:38:47,840
Speaker 1: into debt to fund a weddings.

2070
01:38:48,680 --> 01:38:54,000
Speaker 3: The same beautiful weddings do not predict beautiful marriages. It

2071
01:38:54,080 --> 01:38:56,160
Speaker 3: is probably almost an inverse relationship.

2072
01:38:56,720 --> 01:38:58,640
Speaker 1: I mean it comes from like people just wanting to

2073
01:38:59,240 --> 01:39:01,840
Speaker 1: be approved, approval from other people over whatever it is.

2074
01:39:02,920 --> 01:39:06,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess, yeah, I guess I feel bad for

2075
01:39:06,200 --> 01:39:06,640
Speaker 3: people like that.

2076
01:39:09,520 --> 01:39:20,919
Speaker 1: Let's see here. Oh, this one's interesting.

2077
01:39:21,160 --> 01:39:23,800
Speaker 3: Oh boy, it's the first one you reacted to like that.

2078
01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:31,160
Speaker 3: I'm ready, Anna, Hi, how you doing? They called you interesting?

2079
01:39:31,439 --> 01:39:31,960
Speaker 3: What's going on?

2080
01:39:34,800 --> 01:39:37,680
Speaker 1: Doing good? And since you suspect your cousin has a

2081
01:39:37,880 --> 01:39:40,559
Speaker 1: video game addiction and that it might be causing him

2082
01:39:40,600 --> 01:39:41,840
Speaker 1: to get violent with his mom?

2083
01:39:42,240 --> 01:39:42,639
Speaker 3: Uh oh.

2084
01:39:44,520 --> 01:39:47,479
Speaker 16: Yeah, he's really little, he's like twelve and he's thirteen now,

2085
01:39:48,720 --> 01:39:51,280
Speaker 16: but he's just really violent when like my mom tries

2086
01:39:51,320 --> 01:39:54,559
Speaker 16: to make him turn off the game and nothing seems

2087
01:39:54,600 --> 01:39:58,160
Speaker 16: to work. And I'm kind of curious, like short of

2088
01:39:58,280 --> 01:39:59,960
Speaker 16: like calling the police on him when he gets violent,

2089
01:40:00,120 --> 01:40:01,680
Speaker 16: Like would you do with kids like that?

2090
01:40:03,000 --> 01:40:05,920
Speaker 3: That is a mental health problem. That is not that

2091
01:40:06,080 --> 01:40:08,479
Speaker 3: is not a parenting problem. That is a mental health problem,

2092
01:40:08,920 --> 01:40:14,120
Speaker 3: and that kid needs to be evaluated right oftentimes behind

2093
01:40:14,400 --> 01:40:19,200
Speaker 3: video game compulsion is a serious mental illness. And I'm

2094
01:40:19,240 --> 01:40:20,920
Speaker 3: not saying always there and there can be video game

2095
01:40:20,960 --> 01:40:22,840
Speaker 3: addictions and there can be compulsions and people could just

2096
01:40:22,920 --> 01:40:25,280
Speaker 3: use them excessively and people could become professional video game

2097
01:40:26,040 --> 01:40:29,800
Speaker 3: you know, sort of competitors. I understand that. But if

2098
01:40:29,920 --> 01:40:34,759
Speaker 3: you're not functioning, if you're disrupting relationships, if you're violent,

2099
01:40:35,560 --> 01:40:40,679
Speaker 3: this is time for mental health professional for sure. For sure. Okay,

2100
01:40:41,439 --> 01:40:43,599
Speaker 3: here's that. You really can't do anything toil you figure

2101
01:40:43,600 --> 01:40:44,479
Speaker 3: out what's going on here.

2102
01:40:46,960 --> 01:40:49,640
Speaker 16: Yeah, he's on like some weight lists to get evaluated.

2103
01:40:49,760 --> 01:40:51,800
Speaker 16: But like in the meantime, I just wonder, like, what

2104
01:40:51,960 --> 01:40:54,559
Speaker 16: can she do if he's getting physically violent with her?

2105
01:40:55,520 --> 01:40:57,839
Speaker 3: I would have a low threshold for calling law enforcement

2106
01:40:57,920 --> 01:41:01,280
Speaker 3: if he really is. I mean, you have to do that.

2107
01:41:01,880 --> 01:41:04,479
Speaker 3: He's he can't. You can't. Look, there are consequences of

2108
01:41:04,560 --> 01:41:06,800
Speaker 3: behavior you don't get just just to do that. And

2109
01:41:06,960 --> 01:41:08,800
Speaker 3: just because it's thirteen doesn't it doesn't matter.

2110
01:41:09,000 --> 01:41:09,360
Speaker 20: You have to.

2111
01:41:09,720 --> 01:41:12,639
Speaker 3: You have to bring the axe down sometimes when people

2112
01:41:12,720 --> 01:41:14,680
Speaker 3: behave in ways that are dangerous, you just have to.

2113
01:41:14,840 --> 01:41:16,760
Speaker 3: He just can't do that. You're not allowed to behave

2114
01:41:16,880 --> 01:41:19,880
Speaker 3: like that and somebody could really get hurt, him or

2115
01:41:20,080 --> 01:41:22,719
Speaker 3: your mom. And this it's not it's no fooling.

2116
01:41:23,920 --> 01:41:24,759
Speaker 1: Hey, what's he playing?

2117
01:41:25,320 --> 01:41:25,439
Speaker 6: Right?

2118
01:41:27,280 --> 01:41:27,400
Speaker 3: Oh?

2119
01:41:27,520 --> 01:41:28,320
Speaker 16: God, I don't even know.

2120
01:41:29,880 --> 01:41:32,280
Speaker 1: Is it a violent thing. Is it Sonic the Hedgehog?

2121
01:41:32,520 --> 01:41:38,519
Speaker 1: Is it Fortnite League? I think it's a Minecraft Minecraft. Okay,

2122
01:41:38,560 --> 01:41:40,840
Speaker 1: then it's probably not the video games that are giving

2123
01:41:40,880 --> 01:41:44,560
Speaker 1: the violence the violent tendencies, unless if he's trying to

2124
01:41:44,880 --> 01:41:45,919
Speaker 1: hurt over then axe.

2125
01:41:46,040 --> 01:41:51,800
Speaker 3: No, no, no, something's up, something is up and needs

2126
01:41:51,960 --> 01:41:56,320
Speaker 3: needs help. And again, just make sure your parents understand

2127
01:41:56,320 --> 01:41:59,599
Speaker 3: it's not a parenting problem. There's something else going on. Okay.

2128
01:42:01,760 --> 01:42:03,240
Speaker 16: And when they go to a pessis I don't he's

2129
01:42:03,240 --> 01:42:06,200
Speaker 16: on a wait list somewhere like like all therapists know

2130
01:42:06,320 --> 01:42:07,360
Speaker 16: how to handle stuff.

2131
01:42:07,120 --> 01:42:10,080
Speaker 3: Like that, Like what kind of services? Yeah? Yeah, I

2132
01:42:10,160 --> 01:42:12,800
Speaker 3: mean again, it's it's not just the video game, it's

2133
01:42:12,840 --> 01:42:15,360
Speaker 3: what is going on underneath there that that needs to

2134
01:42:15,360 --> 01:42:17,040
Speaker 3: be valued. Is he's going to see a psychiatrist.

2135
01:42:19,160 --> 01:42:20,519
Speaker 16: I think he's going to like he's gonna go to

2136
01:42:20,600 --> 01:42:22,120
Speaker 16: a clinic with like the whole team.

2137
01:42:22,720 --> 01:42:28,840
Speaker 3: A team clinic. Good. That's fine, that's fine. They'll help him.

2138
01:42:28,920 --> 01:42:31,160
Speaker 3: They for sure. They see lots of this kind of stuff.

2139
01:42:32,280 --> 01:42:32,680
Speaker 3: That's good.

2140
01:42:33,800 --> 01:42:35,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, look, it's nice that you care.

2141
01:42:36,400 --> 01:42:37,960
Speaker 1: I feel like there's a tough thing where like you

2142
01:42:38,560 --> 01:42:41,519
Speaker 1: are sort of removed in like how much you can

2143
01:42:41,600 --> 01:42:43,800
Speaker 1: do about this situation. But it's very nice to hear

2144
01:42:43,840 --> 01:42:47,519
Speaker 1: that you care so much about your cousin to want

2145
01:42:47,680 --> 01:42:50,280
Speaker 1: to intervene and help with this, because this is a really,

2146
01:42:50,520 --> 01:42:53,960
Speaker 1: really tough problem that you could very easily just be

2147
01:42:54,120 --> 01:42:56,720
Speaker 1: like when he starts, yeah, just be like, I'm out.

2148
01:42:57,280 --> 01:42:59,760
Speaker 1: If he starts throwing a fit, or or if they

2149
01:43:00,040 --> 01:43:01,559
Speaker 1: all the police, I'm getting the fuck out of here.

2150
01:43:01,600 --> 01:43:03,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with this. But uh, you know,

2151
01:43:04,280 --> 01:43:07,360
Speaker 1: we can really tell that you care about your cousin

2152
01:43:08,240 --> 01:43:11,000
Speaker 1: by the fact that you're even questioning what it is

2153
01:43:11,040 --> 01:43:13,160
Speaker 1: that you can do to intervene in this situation. So,

2154
01:43:13,439 --> 01:43:14,960
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's very nice.

2155
01:43:17,000 --> 01:43:18,560
Speaker 16: And appreciate it.

2156
01:43:18,600 --> 01:43:20,280
Speaker 3: And it's good that the mom is is it your

2157
01:43:20,479 --> 01:43:25,640
Speaker 3: his mom, your aunt or your mom. It's good that

2158
01:43:25,760 --> 01:43:31,519
Speaker 3: she is being proactive and hang on a second, yeah, uh,

2159
01:43:32,120 --> 01:43:36,080
Speaker 3: And and that he that she's taken proper action. That's

2160
01:43:36,240 --> 01:43:38,280
Speaker 3: very very commendable because a lot of parents get into

2161
01:43:38,360 --> 01:43:40,479
Speaker 3: denial and don't do what they need to do. It's

2162
01:43:40,520 --> 01:43:43,120
Speaker 3: good that she is. My skin just came up. It's weird.

2163
01:43:46,120 --> 01:43:47,680
Speaker 1: There we go to it. That's the thing about the

2164
01:43:47,960 --> 01:43:51,960
Speaker 1: echo parts. They always go back uh Anna, good luck

2165
01:43:51,960 --> 01:43:52,760
Speaker 1: to you and thank you for calling.

2166
01:43:54,280 --> 01:43:54,599
Speaker 3: All right?

2167
01:43:54,680 --> 01:43:54,920
Speaker 16: Thank you?

2168
01:43:59,080 --> 01:43:59,960
Speaker 1: You playing a video game?

2169
01:44:00,560 --> 01:44:01,160
Speaker 3: Am I playing one?

2170
01:44:01,400 --> 01:44:02,320
Speaker 1: Do you play any video game?

2171
01:44:02,360 --> 01:44:02,400
Speaker 2: No?

2172
01:44:02,520 --> 01:44:03,160
Speaker 3: I really don't.

2173
01:44:03,280 --> 01:44:05,280
Speaker 1: You never really played video my sons did?

2174
01:44:05,360 --> 01:44:06,840
Speaker 3: I picked it up a couple of times, just I

2175
01:44:06,920 --> 01:44:10,080
Speaker 3: can't even do it literally, and I thought probably best not.

2176
01:44:10,160 --> 01:44:14,920
Speaker 1: Even like something simple like a fucking candy crush you

2177
01:44:15,160 --> 01:44:18,880
Speaker 1: sku No, but you gotta do something to what do you?

2178
01:44:18,920 --> 01:44:20,120
Speaker 1: What do you do when you're trying to turn off

2179
01:44:20,120 --> 01:44:20,519
Speaker 1: your brain?

2180
01:44:21,479 --> 01:44:21,599
Speaker 2: Uh?

2181
01:44:22,439 --> 01:44:25,920
Speaker 3: I work out and listen to podcasts. Okay, yeah, that's

2182
01:44:25,960 --> 01:44:26,879
Speaker 3: my sort of my meditation.

2183
01:44:27,120 --> 01:44:28,280
Speaker 1: You listened to a lot of podcasts.

2184
01:44:28,320 --> 01:44:30,400
Speaker 3: I do do you not after? Like if your whole

2185
01:44:30,520 --> 01:44:33,920
Speaker 3: job is radio and podcast? Do not be like a

2186
01:44:33,960 --> 01:44:37,320
Speaker 3: podcast sometimes? I Lately I've been working on languages with

2187
01:44:37,640 --> 01:44:40,960
Speaker 3: YouTube teachers and things. Okay, what are you learning French? French?

2188
01:44:41,240 --> 01:44:42,800
Speaker 3: I actually I learned Greek for a minute.

2189
01:44:43,000 --> 01:44:43,280
Speaker 1: Greek.

2190
01:44:43,360 --> 01:44:45,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lot you can do with that, there

2191
01:44:45,600 --> 01:44:48,160
Speaker 3: is and it's a weird language. Yeah. We were going

2192
01:44:48,200 --> 01:44:49,920
Speaker 3: to Greece and so I thought, all right, it helped

2193
01:44:49,960 --> 01:44:52,880
Speaker 3: me with my COVID fog. It really helped. And there's

2194
01:44:52,960 --> 01:44:55,599
Speaker 3: one strange thing about language. When when you start a language,

2195
01:44:55,920 --> 01:44:59,280
Speaker 3: which I haven't done in years, you're you really pick

2196
01:44:59,360 --> 01:45:02,400
Speaker 3: stuff up very quickly. It feels like surprising, and then

2197
01:45:02,840 --> 01:45:04,520
Speaker 3: not then it's just plateaus.

2198
01:45:04,800 --> 01:45:07,080
Speaker 1: No, but it's like, uh, there's that the what is

2199
01:45:07,160 --> 01:45:10,360
Speaker 1: it the pi ratio principle of the twenty where it's like,

2200
01:45:10,479 --> 01:45:13,839
Speaker 1: there's you really only need to know so many words,

2201
01:45:14,040 --> 01:45:15,599
Speaker 1: yeah to get around yeah.

2202
01:45:15,880 --> 01:45:18,639
Speaker 3: Yeah. And and I was telling people that my Greek

2203
01:45:18,720 --> 01:45:20,720
Speaker 3: was sort of a parlor game, yeah, because I only

2204
01:45:20,800 --> 01:45:23,479
Speaker 3: learned I we you know, and I didn't endo any

2205
01:45:23,520 --> 01:45:28,120
Speaker 3: other congregation conjugations and uh, and just learned words about

2206
01:45:28,160 --> 01:45:30,840
Speaker 3: food and things like that, things at hotels, and it

2207
01:45:30,960 --> 01:45:31,479
Speaker 3: was pretty good.

2208
01:45:32,280 --> 01:45:34,880
Speaker 1: So I mean I learned, uh, And I went to

2209
01:45:35,040 --> 01:45:38,439
Speaker 1: I studied in Italy, and I learned a pretty damn

2210
01:45:38,479 --> 01:45:40,680
Speaker 1: good amount of Italian in one month. And I had

2211
01:45:40,720 --> 01:45:42,320
Speaker 1: this epiphany where I was like, oh, it took me

2212
01:45:42,439 --> 01:45:46,439
Speaker 1: one month to like learn somewhat basic conversational Italian. What

2213
01:45:46,600 --> 01:45:48,439
Speaker 1: the fuck else could I do in one month? Like

2214
01:45:48,520 --> 01:45:50,680
Speaker 1: I'm always overestimating the amount of time it takes to

2215
01:45:50,760 --> 01:45:52,440
Speaker 1: like fucking learn to play guitars.

2216
01:45:53,479 --> 01:45:57,439
Speaker 3: Fantasized going back to piano and stuff. But but French. Yeah.

2217
01:45:57,439 --> 01:45:59,880
Speaker 3: I studied a long time, but I could never speak it.

2218
01:46:00,040 --> 01:46:02,120
Speaker 3: And then I was like, I'm gonna speak it, and

2219
01:46:02,240 --> 01:46:03,240
Speaker 3: I'm getting pretty good now.

2220
01:46:03,880 --> 01:46:06,160
Speaker 1: Uh do you feel like even after you take your

2221
01:46:06,600 --> 01:46:09,280
Speaker 1: take your are are you doing this in anticipation.

2222
01:46:08,800 --> 01:46:11,560
Speaker 3: For going on the trip? I did it in anticipation

2223
01:46:11,640 --> 01:46:13,519
Speaker 3: going on. We did go also go to France, and

2224
01:46:13,680 --> 01:46:15,080
Speaker 3: I just kind of stayed with it because you're staying

2225
01:46:15,120 --> 01:46:16,720
Speaker 3: with it. It just feels good for my brain. It

2226
01:46:16,840 --> 01:46:17,360
Speaker 3: just feels good.

2227
01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:21,320
Speaker 1: It's hard when you don't have a like reason anyway, it.

2228
01:46:21,439 --> 01:46:24,920
Speaker 3: Is, and I lose motivation sometimes. But but I'm it's

2229
01:46:25,120 --> 01:46:29,240
Speaker 3: I'm so pissed that I've got this huge vocabulary and

2230
01:46:29,320 --> 01:46:32,640
Speaker 3: I do understand everything that I can't just speak it.

2231
01:46:32,760 --> 01:46:33,520
Speaker 3: That's ridiculous.

2232
01:46:33,520 --> 01:46:34,240
Speaker 1: Wait where are you gonna go?

2233
01:46:34,479 --> 01:46:34,639
Speaker 8: Where?

2234
01:46:34,760 --> 01:46:36,760
Speaker 3: I don't care. I just after all these years of

2235
01:46:36,760 --> 01:46:38,439
Speaker 3: studying and reading French and stuff, I just like, I'm

2236
01:46:38,439 --> 01:46:40,040
Speaker 3: god damn it, finally I'm gonna speak it. That's all.

2237
01:46:40,040 --> 01:46:42,040
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm tired of this. I'm gonna speak it.

2238
01:46:42,520 --> 01:46:43,000
Speaker 3: You ever going on?

2239
01:46:43,120 --> 01:46:43,400
Speaker 1: Megal?

2240
01:46:44,280 --> 01:46:45,680
Speaker 3: What you know?

2241
01:46:45,720 --> 01:46:45,760
Speaker 2: What?

2242
01:46:45,880 --> 01:46:46,280
Speaker 3: Megal is?

2243
01:46:46,479 --> 01:46:48,800
Speaker 1: No, it's like this thing where you can like you

2244
01:46:48,880 --> 01:46:51,519
Speaker 1: can set it to like. Uh, it's it's this thing

2245
01:46:51,560 --> 01:46:54,559
Speaker 1: that like hooks you up on video chats with random strangers.

2246
01:46:54,600 --> 01:46:55,880
Speaker 1: A lot of the time it's used for people to

2247
01:46:55,920 --> 01:46:57,320
Speaker 1: jerk off, but there's a lot of people not drinking

2248
01:46:57,880 --> 01:46:58,320
Speaker 1: the chat.

2249
01:46:59,360 --> 01:46:59,519
Speaker 3: Yeah.

2250
01:46:59,560 --> 01:47:03,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, said it for like, uh yeah, for a French person.

2251
01:47:03,240 --> 01:47:04,839
Speaker 1: I did that for like Italian a little.

2252
01:47:04,880 --> 01:47:06,640
Speaker 3: With somebody actually talked to you. Yeah, you could get

2253
01:47:06,640 --> 01:47:08,240
Speaker 3: people to talk to you. Huh.

2254
01:47:08,800 --> 01:47:10,920
Speaker 1: You also a lot of people jacking off, but you can,

2255
01:47:11,000 --> 01:47:12,960
Speaker 1: if you can, if you can get past that. Okay,

2256
01:47:13,280 --> 01:47:15,519
Speaker 1: what's it called omegel? I mean I think they have

2257
01:47:15,600 --> 01:47:18,360
Speaker 1: it for Chatroulette, but Chatroulette, I mean they both have

2258
01:47:18,360 --> 01:47:19,000
Speaker 1: a lot of people.

2259
01:47:18,880 --> 01:47:29,320
Speaker 3: Just high tutor seems that sounds like a better idea. Yeah,

2260
01:47:30,040 --> 01:47:33,559
Speaker 3: hey Isaac, Hello, Yeah.

2261
01:47:34,200 --> 01:47:37,479
Speaker 1: What's up, Isaac? What's going on? How can we how

2262
01:47:37,520 --> 01:47:40,920
Speaker 1: can we be of how can we.

2263
01:47:41,000 --> 01:47:41,840
Speaker 19: Be with you?

2264
01:47:42,000 --> 01:47:46,719
Speaker 1: In this moment right now? I'm being.

2265
01:47:48,320 --> 01:47:53,040
Speaker 13: I'm I'm being horny actually, which is not good because

2266
01:47:53,040 --> 01:47:56,200
Speaker 13: I can't do anything about it because I injured myself

2267
01:47:56,920 --> 01:47:57,599
Speaker 13: playing piano.

2268
01:47:59,520 --> 01:48:03,000
Speaker 3: Wow, this is an interesting story. So what was the

2269
01:48:03,120 --> 01:48:04,559
Speaker 3: nature of the piano injury?

2270
01:48:07,040 --> 01:48:13,040
Speaker 13: So I'm a jazz studies major in college. My senior year,

2271
01:48:14,120 --> 01:48:18,200
Speaker 13: and I've been doing like this stuff, so like I

2272
01:48:18,240 --> 01:48:22,680
Speaker 13: couldn't play guitar for a while, and so I was

2273
01:48:22,880 --> 01:48:26,639
Speaker 13: just kind of thinking about, well, like what else can

2274
01:48:26,680 --> 01:48:27,160
Speaker 13: I do to it?

2275
01:48:27,320 --> 01:48:27,920
Speaker 3: For music?

2276
01:48:28,880 --> 01:48:31,360
Speaker 13: And piano is really good. It's very like all the

2277
01:48:31,439 --> 01:48:37,040
Speaker 13: notes are right in front of you. But like, yeah,

2278
01:48:37,160 --> 01:48:40,920
Speaker 13: you know, you use your hands so much and the

2279
01:48:41,040 --> 01:48:43,719
Speaker 13: body has this cool way of telling you to stop,

2280
01:48:44,479 --> 01:48:47,920
Speaker 13: and it just like kind of breaks down a little bit, like.

2281
01:48:48,040 --> 01:48:50,280
Speaker 3: Arthritis type of you don't know what the injury is.

2282
01:48:50,320 --> 01:48:57,479
Speaker 3: You've not been evaluated yet. No, I mean, hey, Isaac, Isaac,

2283
01:48:57,640 --> 01:48:59,919
Speaker 3: Isaac Yes or no? Yes or no? You saw northpeda

2284
01:49:00,600 --> 01:49:03,880
Speaker 3: or a specialist in hand and they gave you a

2285
01:49:03,920 --> 01:49:04,880
Speaker 3: diagnosis yes or no?

2286
01:49:07,439 --> 01:49:07,639
Speaker 14: Yes?

2287
01:49:07,800 --> 01:49:11,040
Speaker 3: Okay, what's the diagnosed? Hang on, no, buds, what's the diagnosis?

2288
01:49:11,560 --> 01:49:12,440
Speaker 3: What's the diagnosis?

2289
01:49:13,000 --> 01:49:13,600
Speaker 13: Diagnosed?

2290
01:49:14,240 --> 01:49:14,519
Speaker 3: Okay?

2291
01:49:14,680 --> 01:49:15,800
Speaker 13: Hold on, I have this thing here.

2292
01:49:18,520 --> 01:49:18,800
Speaker 3: Okay.

2293
01:49:19,520 --> 01:49:27,920
Speaker 13: They wrote one PCP, two physical therapy, three specialists question mark.

2294
01:49:28,160 --> 01:49:31,439
Speaker 3: Okay, so that's all. That's all. That's not diagnosis, that's

2295
01:49:31,439 --> 01:49:36,400
Speaker 3: all treatment. That's all treatment. Yeah, So what was the diagnosis?

2296
01:49:38,680 --> 01:49:39,640
Speaker 8: I mean to do that?

2297
01:49:40,000 --> 01:49:42,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, we need to see the specialist and is it

2298
01:49:42,680 --> 01:49:49,040
Speaker 3: in both hands? Yeah, yeah, both hands. When'd you teach

2299
01:49:49,080 --> 01:49:49,960
Speaker 3: them about flash lights?

2300
01:49:49,960 --> 01:49:50,120
Speaker 12: Sing?

2301
01:49:51,760 --> 01:49:56,840
Speaker 1: Have you tried? You have one that straps onto the wall?

2302
01:49:58,439 --> 01:50:00,640
Speaker 13: No, I said I could, I could. I just I

2303
01:50:00,800 --> 01:50:01,960
Speaker 13: was just kind of going with that.

2304
01:50:02,280 --> 01:50:04,800
Speaker 1: Okay, what's your what's your apprehension about getting a sex

2305
01:50:04,880 --> 01:50:06,160
Speaker 1: toy that you can strap to a wall?

2306
01:50:08,080 --> 01:50:13,040
Speaker 13: Well, I don't know. I guess that's a good question.

2307
01:50:13,360 --> 01:50:15,839
Speaker 13: Why don't I just I guess i'd have to order online?

2308
01:50:16,160 --> 01:50:17,519
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know.

2309
01:50:17,720 --> 01:50:20,240
Speaker 1: Look, Isaac, here's the thing. As I know, you feel

2310
01:50:20,280 --> 01:50:24,240
Speaker 1: like you're frustrated with your inability to express your horniness.

2311
01:50:24,479 --> 01:50:26,200
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, if there is

2312
01:50:26,320 --> 01:50:28,240
Speaker 1: a will, there is a way.

2313
01:50:28,320 --> 01:50:32,600
Speaker 3: There is technology today, there is of advanced technologies.

2314
01:50:32,760 --> 01:50:36,880
Speaker 1: I feel like you haven't given enough thoughts whatever I

2315
01:50:36,960 --> 01:50:41,400
Speaker 1: mean to to you haven't done any solution based thinking

2316
01:50:41,560 --> 01:50:45,280
Speaker 1: to this problem. It sounds like and I think that you.

2317
01:50:46,720 --> 01:50:49,880
Speaker 1: I mean, do a quick Google search for hands free

2318
01:50:50,000 --> 01:50:53,320
Speaker 1: masturbation devices. You can just you don't have to do anything.

2319
01:50:53,360 --> 01:50:58,519
Speaker 1: You can just you're dick in it, press the remote control,

2320
01:50:59,600 --> 01:51:02,559
Speaker 1: It'll do all the work for you. And hey, listen,

2321
01:51:02,640 --> 01:51:05,639
Speaker 1: when you're hand heels you might be like, oh, I'm

2322
01:51:05,680 --> 01:51:09,439
Speaker 1: so glad that this whole ordeal happens hands free forever,

2323
01:51:09,520 --> 01:51:12,120
Speaker 1: Because now I found a great place, a great, great

2324
01:51:12,120 --> 01:51:16,920
Speaker 1: way to do it hands free forever. Bluetooth pocket puss.

2325
01:51:16,840 --> 01:51:17,360
Speaker 6: H f F.

2326
01:51:18,680 --> 01:51:23,360
Speaker 13: That's a good solution. But yeah, no, that's a good solution.

2327
01:51:23,479 --> 01:51:25,680
Speaker 13: I was thinking about going celibate too.

2328
01:51:26,400 --> 01:51:28,320
Speaker 1: There's all, there's a lot of value to be gained

2329
01:51:28,360 --> 01:51:30,200
Speaker 1: in that is not is not.

2330
01:51:31,240 --> 01:51:34,120
Speaker 3: You know, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? When

2331
01:51:34,160 --> 01:51:37,439
Speaker 3: you don't have any sexual activity and celibra means you

2332
01:51:37,479 --> 01:51:40,000
Speaker 3: don't you don't have activity with somebody else, doesn't it.

2333
01:51:42,840 --> 01:51:44,799
Speaker 1: Oh you're going you're going no fat.

2334
01:51:44,720 --> 01:51:48,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, nothing. I think that's what you're saying.

2335
01:51:51,400 --> 01:51:52,880
Speaker 1: Were you about to say? Imagine all the things you

2336
01:51:52,880 --> 01:51:57,760
Speaker 1: could accomplish if you didn't masturbate? Yeah, yeah, Hey you

2337
01:51:57,800 --> 01:51:59,479
Speaker 1: could learn French mm hmm.

2338
01:52:00,160 --> 01:52:00,320
Speaker 3: Fun.

2339
01:52:00,600 --> 01:52:00,960
Speaker 12: You're right.

2340
01:52:01,040 --> 01:52:07,000
Speaker 13: I've been really into German expressionism because of it, because

2341
01:52:07,040 --> 01:52:08,200
Speaker 13: I because when I get.

2342
01:52:08,080 --> 01:52:11,680
Speaker 1: Warning and then and then when you go out to

2343
01:52:11,800 --> 01:52:14,320
Speaker 1: the bars and you're, you know, trying to find a

2344
01:52:14,360 --> 01:52:17,120
Speaker 1: sexual partner, you can bring up your expertise in German

2345
01:52:17,160 --> 01:52:21,160
Speaker 1: expressionism as a way to seem more interesting, You get more.

2346
01:52:21,120 --> 01:52:27,800
Speaker 3: Uh, improve your selection. No, absolutely, okay, beautiful, thank you, okay,

2347
01:52:28,600 --> 01:52:33,120
Speaker 3: thank you much, Yes very much. Well you're google like like,

2348
01:52:34,360 --> 01:52:36,880
Speaker 3: like we said, google it hands free, hands free forever.

2349
01:52:37,120 --> 01:52:39,880
Speaker 1: Have you ever used one of those flesh light things?

2350
01:52:40,040 --> 01:52:44,639
Speaker 3: No, I actually haven't, but they look cool people should enjoy.

2351
01:52:45,200 --> 01:52:47,280
Speaker 1: I used to when I was what fourteen? I took

2352
01:52:47,360 --> 01:52:52,320
Speaker 1: a took two sponges, and I took a a like

2353
01:52:52,439 --> 01:52:55,639
Speaker 1: a plastic glove, put it in between the sponges. Yeah,

2354
01:52:55,800 --> 01:52:58,479
Speaker 1: took that little plastic glove sponge sandwich, put it into

2355
01:52:58,479 --> 01:52:59,280
Speaker 1: a pringles can.

2356
01:52:59,439 --> 01:53:02,200
Speaker 3: Oh my god, your genius look the rim of it.

2357
01:53:02,360 --> 01:53:05,160
Speaker 3: I'm sure that. I'm sure many young teens have had

2358
01:53:05,200 --> 01:53:07,160
Speaker 3: evil genius solutions like that.

2359
01:53:07,520 --> 01:53:10,280
Speaker 1: And then it makes a little pringles yep can yep.

2360
01:53:10,400 --> 01:53:13,799
Speaker 3: Good for you, Oh my god, because when.

2361
01:53:13,640 --> 01:53:15,120
Speaker 1: You're fourteen, you can't, you know, buy the thing.

2362
01:53:15,360 --> 01:53:15,400
Speaker 5: No.

2363
01:53:15,800 --> 01:53:20,360
Speaker 3: Look, fourteen year olds are males. They got energy.

2364
01:53:24,400 --> 01:53:25,040
Speaker 8: Hmmmm.

2365
01:53:27,720 --> 01:53:30,880
Speaker 3: Why did God do that to young men? You know

2366
01:53:30,920 --> 01:53:31,280
Speaker 3: what I mean?

2367
01:53:32,640 --> 01:53:34,439
Speaker 1: No, he's definitely a sadist, that God.

2368
01:53:36,080 --> 01:53:38,719
Speaker 3: You know. One of the first things that transgender patients

2369
01:53:38,800 --> 01:53:40,639
Speaker 3: female to male tell me is, oh my god, I'm

2370
01:53:40,680 --> 01:53:43,280
Speaker 3: so sorry, Like I didn't know this is what you

2371
01:53:43,320 --> 01:53:45,760
Speaker 3: were contending with. And my response is, yeah, that's what

2372
01:53:45,920 --> 01:53:47,719
Speaker 3: it feels like all the time. But imagine you're thirteen

2373
01:53:47,800 --> 01:53:48,400
Speaker 3: contending with that.

2374
01:53:49,840 --> 01:53:52,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're having that. That must be interesting that being

2375
01:53:52,880 --> 01:53:57,080
Speaker 1: able to have through your life fully been able to

2376
01:53:57,200 --> 01:53:59,719
Speaker 1: experience both sides.

2377
01:53:59,760 --> 01:54:03,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, we we should be mining that, you know, people

2378
01:54:03,400 --> 01:54:06,400
Speaker 3: that have those experiences more for for help people understand

2379
01:54:06,439 --> 01:54:12,360
Speaker 3: the differences and what people are experiencing. And yeah, hmm.

2380
01:54:15,360 --> 01:54:18,360
Speaker 1: Sucking Nicole Nicole.

2381
01:54:20,240 --> 01:54:20,439
Speaker 6: Nike.

2382
01:54:21,200 --> 01:54:22,519
Speaker 1: Hey, Nicole has a gun.

2383
01:54:23,880 --> 01:54:24,880
Speaker 7: Thanks good?

2384
01:54:24,960 --> 01:54:29,040
Speaker 3: How are you doing good? At what's going on with you? Nicole?

2385
01:54:32,680 --> 01:54:37,520
Speaker 1: Well, Jesus, there's some family drama going on. Does he

2386
01:54:37,600 --> 01:54:38,080
Speaker 1: want to talk?

2387
01:54:39,960 --> 01:54:40,120
Speaker 12: Oh?

2388
01:54:40,240 --> 01:54:43,280
Speaker 2: No, I just I just had the team Young Cloud

2389
01:54:43,360 --> 01:54:48,240
Speaker 2: with you. But so, I guess the main reason, like

2390
01:54:48,440 --> 01:54:52,000
Speaker 2: I was thinking tonight, was I have a lot of

2391
01:54:52,120 --> 01:54:55,200
Speaker 2: issues with over sharing and conversations like.

2392
01:54:57,960 --> 01:54:59,000
Speaker 1: How do I describe this?

2393
01:54:59,600 --> 01:55:03,120
Speaker 2: So I had a couple of diagnoses recently that kind

2394
01:55:03,200 --> 01:55:06,560
Speaker 2: of correlate with each other and makes it hard for

2395
01:55:06,720 --> 01:55:11,200
Speaker 2: me to like have like proper conversations in general. But

2396
01:55:11,720 --> 01:55:14,680
Speaker 2: I tend to realize that I overshare when I and

2397
01:55:15,400 --> 01:55:19,600
Speaker 2: even if I don't intentionally want to, because I'm trying

2398
01:55:19,680 --> 01:55:25,040
Speaker 2: to like describe how I'm feeling is shit and a

2399
01:55:25,160 --> 01:55:30,720
Speaker 2: situation and I don't know, it is a bad habit, And.

2400
01:55:30,960 --> 01:55:35,000
Speaker 3: I just wanted a little what what are the diagnoses?

2401
01:55:37,640 --> 01:55:41,800
Speaker 2: Uh? Okay, I have kind of a list. I have

2402
01:55:42,040 --> 01:55:53,040
Speaker 2: borderline personality disorder autism PTSD, agoraphobia, so anxiety and depression.

2403
01:55:53,360 --> 01:55:55,960
Speaker 3: Right, of course, that's all all that stuff is, you

2404
01:55:56,000 --> 01:55:59,160
Speaker 3: know the PTS that the trauma is the PTSD, The

2405
01:55:59,240 --> 01:56:01,600
Speaker 3: trauma is the border line. The anxiety goes with the borderline.

2406
01:56:01,840 --> 01:56:05,960
Speaker 3: But here's the thing about borderline people. Borderline disorder are

2407
01:56:06,360 --> 01:56:09,360
Speaker 3: I know what you're talking about. You guys are geniuses

2408
01:56:10,080 --> 01:56:12,080
Speaker 3: at sort of picking up on things, right, You're like

2409
01:56:12,240 --> 01:56:16,040
Speaker 3: like you have antenna, Like it's phenomenal. I've always I

2410
01:56:16,080 --> 01:56:19,000
Speaker 3: always marvel at what borderlines can can sort of know

2411
01:56:19,440 --> 01:56:21,960
Speaker 3: just just when you walk in a room, or they

2412
01:56:22,080 --> 01:56:23,720
Speaker 3: know you're walking in the room before you walk in

2413
01:56:23,800 --> 01:56:27,040
Speaker 3: the room. And so I understand it's a burden. I

2414
01:56:27,080 --> 01:56:29,800
Speaker 3: get it's a burden because you react to all that emotionally,

2415
01:56:30,360 --> 01:56:33,200
Speaker 3: and it's because of the trauma that your your bodies

2416
01:56:33,280 --> 01:56:35,960
Speaker 3: on all that hyper alert. It's a survival system that

2417
01:56:36,040 --> 01:56:39,080
Speaker 3: you've learned to you know, it's an adaptation. It got

2418
01:56:39,120 --> 01:56:42,120
Speaker 3: you to where you are now. So good, You survived great,

2419
01:56:42,640 --> 01:56:45,520
Speaker 3: But you have to figure you have to figure out

2420
01:56:45,600 --> 01:56:51,080
Speaker 3: ways to sort of dial down the borderline stuff. It

2421
01:56:51,160 --> 01:56:53,000
Speaker 3: can be. Some of it's, like I'm saying, some of

2422
01:56:53,040 --> 01:56:55,800
Speaker 3: it's an asset. You're like crazy tuned into the world.

2423
01:56:55,960 --> 01:56:56,080
Speaker 2: Man.

2424
01:56:56,200 --> 01:56:59,720
Speaker 3: You know, who's you know before somebody pulls in your

2425
01:56:59,800 --> 01:57:03,160
Speaker 3: dry way, who's coming? And why? And that's it's weird

2426
01:57:03,240 --> 01:57:05,360
Speaker 3: how I mean, it's incredible how you guys can do that.

2427
01:57:06,000 --> 01:57:09,960
Speaker 3: But you have to be able to regulate your emotions

2428
01:57:10,240 --> 01:57:12,520
Speaker 3: and understand that a lot of your stuff affects other

2429
01:57:12,600 --> 01:57:16,560
Speaker 3: people and so and the other people's minds have emotions too,

2430
01:57:17,480 --> 01:57:19,120
Speaker 3: you know, at certain times you lose track of that.

2431
01:57:20,200 --> 01:57:23,000
Speaker 3: And so you want to do something, Yeah, you want

2432
01:57:23,040 --> 01:57:26,320
Speaker 3: to do something called dialectical behavioral therapy DBT. So are

2433
01:57:26,360 --> 01:57:30,480
Speaker 3: you involved in DBT? Now? What what's that.

2434
01:57:32,680 --> 01:57:33,680
Speaker 10: I thought about?

2435
01:57:36,160 --> 01:57:38,240
Speaker 2: Or just controlled behavioral therapy?

2436
01:57:38,600 --> 01:57:41,680
Speaker 3: Both good? Both good? Both good, both good? They will

2437
01:57:41,720 --> 01:57:44,600
Speaker 3: you trust me, they will they will help you and

2438
01:57:44,880 --> 01:57:47,560
Speaker 3: all this, you know what's what you're talking about of

2439
01:57:47,680 --> 01:57:51,000
Speaker 3: you know, overhearing things and racting to things. It will settle,

2440
01:57:51,240 --> 01:57:55,640
Speaker 3: It will settle, But you gotta do. You gotta do

2441
01:57:55,680 --> 01:57:57,880
Speaker 3: the work. You gotta do the work you get. You

2442
01:57:58,000 --> 01:58:00,440
Speaker 3: have a diagnosis, the diagnosis has a treatment, and the

2443
01:58:00,520 --> 01:58:03,880
Speaker 3: treatments work. That's the great news. So you feel so

2444
01:58:03,960 --> 01:58:04,760
Speaker 3: much better. Trust me.

2445
01:58:05,400 --> 01:58:08,640
Speaker 1: I like this the angle of like it's it's it's

2446
01:58:08,800 --> 01:58:10,240
Speaker 1: you know, looking at the positive things.

2447
01:58:10,320 --> 01:58:13,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but every everything in life has liabilities and assets.

2448
01:58:14,200 --> 01:58:17,600
Speaker 3: Everything everything I have OCD made me a great doctor.

2449
01:58:17,600 --> 01:58:20,720
Speaker 3: I was obsessively checking everything, responding to my page er

2450
01:58:20,760 --> 01:58:23,600
Speaker 3: and stuff like that. But now when my text messages

2451
01:58:23,680 --> 01:58:26,120
Speaker 3: go off, it's fucked. I hate it. It's the same system,

2452
01:58:26,400 --> 01:58:31,480
Speaker 3: same problem. And and people get very pejorative about mental

2453
01:58:31,520 --> 01:58:34,520
Speaker 3: health diagnoses. Oh you have Oh yeah, that because it

2454
01:58:34,760 --> 01:58:37,879
Speaker 3: makes you do things that are unpleasant or may be disruptive.

2455
01:58:38,120 --> 01:58:40,440
Speaker 3: But guess what, that all has treatment and you you

2456
01:58:40,520 --> 01:58:41,480
Speaker 3: just got to do the work. Though.

2457
01:58:42,360 --> 01:58:46,560
Speaker 1: Okay, that's very helpful in the process of like accepting

2458
01:58:47,520 --> 01:58:49,680
Speaker 1: about yourself being like, oh well, I can't get so

2459
01:58:49,840 --> 01:58:52,320
Speaker 1: upset about all the negative things that are going on

2460
01:58:52,480 --> 01:58:55,839
Speaker 1: with me because of this, because there's also the positive

2461
01:58:55,920 --> 01:58:57,560
Speaker 1: things that I am they're excited about.

2462
01:58:57,600 --> 01:58:59,640
Speaker 3: So many people out there with borderline disorder that are

2463
01:58:59,680 --> 01:59:02,560
Speaker 3: so grateful that they got their diagnosis and they got

2464
01:59:02,600 --> 01:59:05,400
Speaker 3: proper treatment because they didn't understand what was going on.

2465
01:59:05,440 --> 01:59:09,200
Speaker 2: Oh I'm so happy I did, because like when I hike,

2466
01:59:09,520 --> 01:59:13,320
Speaker 2: when I was in sophomore year, is when like my

2467
01:59:13,520 --> 01:59:17,480
Speaker 2: back started to go complete ship and my parents completely

2468
01:59:17,600 --> 01:59:20,360
Speaker 2: neglected it, didn't take me to the doctor and just

2469
01:59:20,440 --> 01:59:23,800
Speaker 2: assumed that gymnastics would just cure it and heal it.

2470
01:59:24,080 --> 01:59:27,320
Speaker 2: And I ended up like getting surgery after I turned

2471
01:59:27,440 --> 01:59:29,600
Speaker 2: eighteen because they wouldn't take me to the doctor, and

2472
01:59:29,920 --> 01:59:30,960
Speaker 2: my boyfriend took me.

2473
01:59:31,440 --> 01:59:33,400
Speaker 3: Boy and then all of.

2474
01:59:33,480 --> 01:59:37,160
Speaker 2: My emotions and shit just kind of left out of

2475
01:59:37,240 --> 01:59:38,440
Speaker 2: me and I cut everybody off.

2476
01:59:38,520 --> 01:59:41,720
Speaker 3: Okay, so hold slow down, you're going back. You're going

2477
01:59:41,800 --> 01:59:44,440
Speaker 3: back into it. I feel it starting, okay, and I

2478
01:59:44,560 --> 01:59:47,120
Speaker 3: get it. I heard you, I heard what happened, and

2479
01:59:47,280 --> 01:59:50,720
Speaker 3: but that's the stuff that needs to be damn calm down.

2480
01:59:50,760 --> 01:59:54,040
Speaker 3: We got to calm that stuff down, Okay. And I

2481
01:59:54,040 --> 01:59:56,280
Speaker 3: don't I don't even mean calm down. That sounds sort

2482
01:59:56,320 --> 01:59:59,560
Speaker 3: of glib. I mean we're going to process that, We're

2483
01:59:59,560 --> 02:00:02,240
Speaker 3: going to regulated deal with it, manage it, that kind

2484
02:00:02,280 --> 02:00:02,920
Speaker 3: of thing. Okay.

2485
02:00:04,280 --> 02:00:07,240
Speaker 2: It's like feeling of one, like you know that I

2486
02:00:07,400 --> 02:00:08,560
Speaker 2: have that anxiety.

2487
02:00:11,280 --> 02:00:14,720
Speaker 3: So okay, so let me give you another little premer so. So,

2488
02:00:14,920 --> 02:00:17,720
Speaker 3: one of the things that that comes with borderline personal

2489
02:00:17,800 --> 02:00:23,000
Speaker 3: disorder is something called projective identification. That unpleasant feelings, you

2490
02:00:23,200 --> 02:00:27,360
Speaker 3: put them out into other people. You inject them into people,

2491
02:00:27,440 --> 02:00:30,240
Speaker 3: and you work them there and you regulate them. You

2492
02:00:30,440 --> 02:00:35,400
Speaker 3: make other people feel things. You know what I'm saying, right, yeah,

2493
02:00:35,640 --> 02:00:41,640
Speaker 3: I okay with your you're I know, and you're good

2494
02:00:41,680 --> 02:00:44,080
Speaker 3: at it, and you're capable of it. You're starting to

2495
02:00:44,120 --> 02:00:46,680
Speaker 3: do it right now to us. Because I'm very sensitive

2496
02:00:46,680 --> 02:00:49,000
Speaker 3: to borderline stuff. I feel it when it starts, and

2497
02:00:49,320 --> 02:00:52,280
Speaker 3: so so you're starting to do that, and and DBT

2498
02:00:52,720 --> 02:00:54,960
Speaker 3: will get you to the place where you're like, oh here,

2499
02:00:55,000 --> 02:00:57,200
Speaker 3: I'm doing that again. There's other things I can do.

2500
02:00:57,680 --> 02:01:00,000
Speaker 3: It just brings it into consciousness and gives you alternative.

2501
02:01:00,040 --> 02:01:04,480
Speaker 3: It's okay, okay, you're gonna be good. Good for you.

2502
02:01:04,720 --> 02:01:06,760
Speaker 3: You're young, you're young, got lots of time. You're gonna

2503
02:01:06,960 --> 02:01:08,760
Speaker 3: get take care of this stuff. Thanks for calling, nic

2504
02:01:09,920 --> 02:01:13,920
Speaker 3: These are these are complicents. Bye bye. It was Nicole.

2505
02:01:14,040 --> 02:01:14,680
Speaker 3: Nicole Man.

2506
02:01:14,760 --> 02:01:16,560
Speaker 1: It's it's cool watching you do this because you know,

2507
02:01:16,640 --> 02:01:20,680
Speaker 1: when I have the way I typically handle these calls.

2508
02:01:20,760 --> 02:01:23,400
Speaker 1: Is I never advertised myself as like having like answers.

2509
02:01:23,400 --> 02:01:26,280
Speaker 1: I'll typically like them. I just want them to talk

2510
02:01:26,360 --> 02:01:30,160
Speaker 1: like your that's cool because you're an actual doctor, and

2511
02:01:30,200 --> 02:01:33,000
Speaker 1: you know, it's cool being like, oh, you know, watching

2512
02:01:33,040 --> 02:01:34,640
Speaker 1: you be like, oh, you're saying this, you have this,

2513
02:01:34,800 --> 02:01:38,800
Speaker 1: Here's the actual reason as to why you are feeling

2514
02:01:38,880 --> 02:01:44,200
Speaker 1: this way. Here's some some actual you know, therapies.

2515
02:01:44,240 --> 02:01:46,280
Speaker 3: We here's what you can do about it. Yeah, people

2516
02:01:46,320 --> 02:01:50,120
Speaker 3: are so fascinating the human experiences. I'm so grateful to

2517
02:01:50,320 --> 02:01:54,640
Speaker 3: have had the ability to sit by and and and understand,

2518
02:01:54,720 --> 02:01:59,640
Speaker 3: come to understand and experience and witness so much of

2519
02:01:59,680 --> 02:02:02,080
Speaker 3: the human experience that the average person does not get

2520
02:02:02,160 --> 02:02:05,200
Speaker 3: to say. Yeah, of course, whether it's opening somebody up

2521
02:02:05,320 --> 02:02:12,879
Speaker 3: and messing around inside with with knives and bovy, you know, clamps,

2522
02:02:14,160 --> 02:02:17,000
Speaker 3: or opening up in here and helping people deal with that,

2523
02:02:17,160 --> 02:02:19,760
Speaker 3: it's it's I'm just so grateful that experience. I just

2524
02:02:20,320 --> 02:02:24,480
Speaker 3: and because I it was such a profound workaholic for many, many,

2525
02:02:24,560 --> 02:02:27,120
Speaker 3: many a couple of decades, I had this very very

2526
02:02:27,200 --> 02:02:30,280
Speaker 3: rich experience. It's very rare to find physicians that have

2527
02:02:30,360 --> 02:02:32,720
Speaker 3: had as much in medicine and psychiatry as I have had,

2528
02:02:33,000 --> 02:02:34,680
Speaker 3: and I just want to give that back. I just

2529
02:02:34,760 --> 02:02:36,600
Speaker 3: want to give it, give it, give it as much

2530
02:02:36,600 --> 02:02:37,600
Speaker 3: as I possibly can do.

2531
02:02:37,640 --> 02:02:40,400
Speaker 1: You learn a lot about your own psychology by getting a.

2532
02:02:42,480 --> 02:02:46,600
Speaker 3: Kind of it's not what you think, it's more. It's more.

2533
02:02:46,680 --> 02:02:48,520
Speaker 3: I do a lot of therapy to make sure I

2534
02:02:48,600 --> 02:02:53,720
Speaker 3: could really be present fully in some very incredible situations

2535
02:02:54,080 --> 02:02:56,560
Speaker 3: without being overtaken by it or just regulated by it.

2536
02:02:58,240 --> 02:03:01,320
Speaker 3: And you start to learn really how you fit with

2537
02:03:01,400 --> 02:03:04,040
Speaker 3: other people and what they evoke in you, and you

2538
02:03:04,120 --> 02:03:07,160
Speaker 3: can you know, I've had so many bizarre experiences. Every

2539
02:03:07,240 --> 02:03:09,120
Speaker 3: every good therapist will tell you that they've they've been

2540
02:03:09,160 --> 02:03:12,640
Speaker 3: in therapy and had uncanny thoughts and heard things and

2541
02:03:12,720 --> 02:03:16,320
Speaker 3: smelled things that are not theirs but come from the patient.

2542
02:03:17,440 --> 02:03:19,840
Speaker 1: So you feel like a little bit of what the

2543
02:03:19,880 --> 02:03:20,960
Speaker 1: patients got going on is like.

2544
02:03:21,120 --> 02:03:23,320
Speaker 3: It gets projected, intruding, and much the way I was

2545
02:03:23,360 --> 02:03:26,040
Speaker 3: talking to her about projective identification, this is a little different.

2546
02:03:26,120 --> 02:03:28,040
Speaker 3: This is just something that happens naturally when people are

2547
02:03:28,160 --> 02:03:31,240
Speaker 3: closely attuned to each other. But it's wild and uncanny.

2548
02:03:31,600 --> 02:03:34,240
Speaker 3: So you sort of learned what I would learn is

2549
02:03:34,320 --> 02:03:36,440
Speaker 3: really what's mine and what's somebody else's.

2550
02:03:37,560 --> 02:03:39,720
Speaker 1: Was there at a hard point in time where I

2551
02:03:39,760 --> 02:03:42,000
Speaker 1: mean earlier in your career where where you didn't have

2552
02:03:42,080 --> 02:03:42,520
Speaker 1: that clear.

2553
02:03:42,760 --> 02:03:43,360
Speaker 3: One hundred percent?

2554
02:03:43,440 --> 02:03:43,600
Speaker 1: I was.

2555
02:03:43,680 --> 02:03:45,840
Speaker 3: I was, and it was I was not effective because

2556
02:03:45,840 --> 02:03:47,360
Speaker 3: of it, and I was aware of it. I was like,

2557
02:03:47,600 --> 02:03:50,080
Speaker 3: oh something I'm not. I'm not. I need to change

2558
02:03:50,120 --> 02:03:52,240
Speaker 3: something because this is not help helpful the way I am.

2559
02:03:52,480 --> 02:03:54,400
Speaker 3: What I would I would get into very rescuing modes

2560
02:03:54,440 --> 02:03:56,560
Speaker 3: and that kind of stuff. Yeah, found to rescue and

2561
02:03:56,680 --> 02:03:59,240
Speaker 3: save and make better. And you don't get to do

2562
02:03:59,320 --> 02:04:01,360
Speaker 3: that a lot of time. You have to be present

2563
02:04:01,680 --> 02:04:08,360
Speaker 3: and attuned and you know deeply, uh, respond in ways

2564
02:04:08,400 --> 02:04:12,960
Speaker 3: that are sometimes kind of very nuanced and difficult to navigate.

2565
02:04:13,400 --> 02:04:15,160
Speaker 3: And you can't do that if you're overtaken by it.

2566
02:04:15,240 --> 02:04:17,160
Speaker 3: You're busy rescuing people, they don't they don't come for

2567
02:04:17,240 --> 02:04:19,840
Speaker 3: rescues because now you've now you've taken a now you

2568
02:04:19,840 --> 02:04:21,879
Speaker 3: have a permitent victim that needs constant rescuing.

2569
02:04:22,240 --> 02:04:25,600
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, So you don't come to this from a

2570
02:04:25,720 --> 02:04:27,560
Speaker 1: place of I need to rescue them, I need to

2571
02:04:27,600 --> 02:04:27,880
Speaker 1: help them.

2572
02:04:27,920 --> 02:04:30,240
Speaker 3: You come back some of that left over because I

2573
02:04:30,280 --> 02:04:32,920
Speaker 3: am a codependent, but I come from it that like

2574
02:04:33,240 --> 02:04:34,720
Speaker 3: I may feel that way, but I'm not going to

2575
02:04:34,800 --> 02:04:37,080
Speaker 3: do that. Sure, I'm not going to rescue people. I'm

2576
02:04:37,080 --> 02:04:38,040
Speaker 3: not going to get engaged with that.

2577
02:04:38,120 --> 02:04:38,480
Speaker 8: No, no, no.

2578
02:04:38,960 --> 02:04:40,160
Speaker 1: I mean, do you feel like that's a lot, that's

2579
02:04:40,160 --> 02:04:43,000
Speaker 1: a that's a heavy burden to put on yourself, you know,

2580
02:04:43,160 --> 02:04:45,080
Speaker 1: to always want to help people.

2581
02:04:45,240 --> 02:04:45,280
Speaker 5: No?

2582
02:04:45,440 --> 02:04:47,360
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no. But like you know, I

2583
02:04:47,640 --> 02:04:51,440
Speaker 1: don't know, do you feel like it's possible to help everyone?

2584
02:04:52,040 --> 02:04:52,080
Speaker 12: No?

2585
02:04:52,760 --> 02:04:55,640
Speaker 3: And that's part of wanting to help. Yes, it's like

2586
02:04:55,920 --> 02:04:57,640
Speaker 3: you do what you can. Like I told you about

2587
02:04:57,640 --> 02:04:59,520
Speaker 3: the aimless driver. You've got a skill set, you got

2588
02:04:59,600 --> 02:05:02,160
Speaker 3: some experience, you do what you can't, you do what

2589
02:05:02,240 --> 02:05:04,080
Speaker 3: you can't. But but I, but I don't know. I'm

2590
02:05:04,120 --> 02:05:07,720
Speaker 3: just great. I know it's expressive, but just grateful, grateful,

2591
02:05:07,760 --> 02:05:10,520
Speaker 3: grateful that I can offer something and that i've and

2592
02:05:10,880 --> 02:05:13,120
Speaker 3: that I commune with people in a certain way where

2593
02:05:13,120 --> 02:05:15,080
Speaker 3: I get to see these things that are important.

2594
02:05:15,760 --> 02:05:17,600
Speaker 1: You know, that's wonderful.

2595
02:05:17,640 --> 02:05:19,320
Speaker 3: I'm not always dressed like a gecko. When I do

2596
02:05:19,440 --> 02:05:22,320
Speaker 3: that too, it's you may surprise you, but sometimes I

2597
02:05:22,400 --> 02:05:22,920
Speaker 3: am clearly.

2598
02:05:23,400 --> 02:05:25,080
Speaker 1: I like the well, the cool thing about having guests

2599
02:05:25,120 --> 02:05:27,000
Speaker 1: on and a Gecko. Is that like, you know, I

2600
02:05:27,080 --> 02:05:30,080
Speaker 1: feel like it. You're like a different guy knocks you

2601
02:05:30,160 --> 02:05:31,160
Speaker 1: down to size in a sense.

2602
02:05:31,160 --> 02:05:33,200
Speaker 3: It's like it's like this is like, oh look my

2603
02:05:33,320 --> 02:05:36,960
Speaker 3: legs are showing. It's like massd Singer. You become the

2604
02:05:37,280 --> 02:05:39,480
Speaker 3: become the character exactly. I'm gonna tell you that I

2605
02:05:39,560 --> 02:05:41,760
Speaker 3: did that show too, and that was weird. That was wild.

2606
02:05:41,880 --> 02:05:43,400
Speaker 3: You do become the character a little bit.

2607
02:05:43,800 --> 02:05:45,120
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're becoming the character?

2608
02:05:45,880 --> 02:05:48,080
Speaker 3: I'm becoming a character. I'm not at the character. I

2609
02:05:48,120 --> 02:05:50,200
Speaker 3: need a little more time in this outfit to become

2610
02:05:50,320 --> 02:05:50,880
Speaker 3: the character.

2611
02:05:52,120 --> 02:05:54,000
Speaker 1: How are you feeling? You down to take a few more?

2612
02:05:54,080 --> 02:05:55,680
Speaker 1: What's your what's your brom? I don't want to keep

2613
02:05:55,720 --> 02:05:55,960
Speaker 1: you here for it?

2614
02:05:56,080 --> 02:05:58,680
Speaker 3: Oh it's late. I got to get home. You do

2615
02:05:58,800 --> 02:05:59,640
Speaker 3: one more more?

2616
02:05:59,720 --> 02:06:03,760
Speaker 1: Okay it. Let's let's see here, any any anything stepping

2617
02:06:03,800 --> 02:06:07,400
Speaker 1: out at you here. Let's let's look through the hanging

2618
02:06:07,400 --> 02:06:08,200
Speaker 1: on a second too fast.

2619
02:06:08,360 --> 02:06:24,800
Speaker 3: Uh oh jeez, somebody's are tough. Uh oh boy, uh

2620
02:06:27,080 --> 02:06:31,520
Speaker 3: my goodness. Uh oh. Let's do the sleep sex sleep

2621
02:06:31,560 --> 02:06:42,080
Speaker 3: sex h Hello? Sam? Hey, Hey, what's up?

2622
02:06:42,120 --> 02:06:42,280
Speaker 6: Sam?

2623
02:06:42,400 --> 02:06:43,840
Speaker 12: Cool to be the last fall at least of this.

2624
02:06:45,480 --> 02:06:46,520
Speaker 1: Cold, to have you those last.

2625
02:06:47,720 --> 02:06:48,720
Speaker 3: Thanks Sam. What's going on?

2626
02:06:51,440 --> 02:06:54,600
Speaker 12: Uh, nothing much, just been just been on hold for

2627
02:06:54,680 --> 02:06:56,160
Speaker 12: a while and anticipation.

2628
02:06:56,680 --> 02:06:57,960
Speaker 3: Well here we are, it's happened.

2629
02:06:58,320 --> 02:06:59,160
Speaker 1: Anticipate no more.

2630
02:06:59,320 --> 02:07:02,480
Speaker 3: The one let's go on, my tail is coming up.

2631
02:07:02,920 --> 02:07:05,240
Speaker 12: Just wants just something that I've wanted to talk to

2632
02:07:05,360 --> 02:07:08,720
Speaker 12: doctor Drew about for a while. So it's I don't

2633
02:07:08,760 --> 02:07:15,120
Speaker 12: know if it's technically a condition, but essentially so I

2634
02:07:15,280 --> 02:07:19,080
Speaker 12: I essentially have have sex in my sleep, like with

2635
02:07:19,320 --> 02:07:23,840
Speaker 12: with my partner. I initiate and I'll just say the

2636
02:07:23,840 --> 02:07:30,000
Speaker 12: word continue with sex without me completely asleep, without any

2637
02:07:30,320 --> 02:07:30,880
Speaker 12: knowledge of.

2638
02:07:31,280 --> 02:07:33,920
Speaker 3: So so you have complete just one that initiates. So

2639
02:07:33,960 --> 02:07:36,080
Speaker 3: hold on, do you have complete anesia? You never wake

2640
02:07:36,200 --> 02:07:37,600
Speaker 3: up in the middle of it or anything like that.

2641
02:07:39,880 --> 02:07:41,920
Speaker 12: I usually wake up in the middle of it just

2642
02:07:41,960 --> 02:07:44,960
Speaker 12: from like jostling or whatever. But and I have woken

2643
02:07:45,080 --> 02:07:48,240
Speaker 12: up to just like making out. But I've also woken

2644
02:07:48,320 --> 02:07:50,000
Speaker 12: up completely like in the middle of.

2645
02:07:50,080 --> 02:07:52,800
Speaker 3: Like okay, And how does your partner feel about this?

2646
02:07:56,080 --> 02:07:59,880
Speaker 12: Usually they do not realize until I wake up and

2647
02:08:00,040 --> 02:08:01,280
Speaker 12: I'm like, wait, what.

2648
02:08:02,040 --> 02:08:04,720
Speaker 3: Oh, and have you have you discussed this? What have

2649
02:08:04,800 --> 02:08:05,760
Speaker 3: you discussed this with them?

2650
02:08:07,640 --> 02:08:08,920
Speaker 12: Yeah? Yeah, yeah at length?

2651
02:08:09,120 --> 02:08:12,640
Speaker 3: Okay, So it's not like if somebody somebody's feeling somebody's

2652
02:08:12,640 --> 02:08:15,280
Speaker 3: feeling violated or raped or whatever. None of those kinds

2653
02:08:15,320 --> 02:08:15,920
Speaker 3: of feelings planned.

2654
02:08:15,960 --> 02:08:17,960
Speaker 12: Oh no, no, no, oh no, not in the slightest

2655
02:08:18,000 --> 02:08:20,640
Speaker 12: we have We've both discussed it at discussed it at length,

2656
02:08:20,720 --> 02:08:23,840
Speaker 12: and they they appear to be okay with at least

2657
02:08:24,280 --> 02:08:26,760
Speaker 12: we have discussed it. Okay, I personally have no problem

2658
02:08:26,840 --> 02:08:27,000
Speaker 12: with it.

2659
02:08:27,120 --> 02:08:29,240
Speaker 3: Okay, So so let's just talk about these This is

2660
02:08:29,440 --> 02:08:32,520
Speaker 3: this is a sleep disturbance. The way we think about

2661
02:08:32,560 --> 02:08:35,640
Speaker 3: it is essentially anything you do awake, you can do

2662
02:08:35,760 --> 02:08:39,880
Speaker 3: in your sleep. Literally anything. Uh, And this is sort

2663
02:08:39,920 --> 02:08:42,920
Speaker 3: of in the zone of sleep walking and sleep eating.

2664
02:08:43,640 --> 02:08:46,360
Speaker 3: Sleep sex is much more common than people realize. It's

2665
02:08:46,400 --> 02:08:50,400
Speaker 3: it's actually not at all uncommon, and it's it doesn't

2666
02:08:50,440 --> 02:08:52,840
Speaker 3: necessarily any treatment. Did you sleepwalk when you were a kid?

2667
02:08:55,280 --> 02:08:58,320
Speaker 12: I have sleptwalk my entire life. I've woken up in

2668
02:08:58,600 --> 02:08:59,520
Speaker 12: a variety of playing.

2669
02:08:59,560 --> 02:09:01,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, so this is all part of that. And and

2670
02:09:01,280 --> 02:09:03,000
Speaker 3: you know, you could get a sleep study and see

2671
02:09:03,000 --> 02:09:04,960
Speaker 3: what's happening that you know that they can kind of

2672
02:09:05,000 --> 02:09:07,320
Speaker 3: evaluate it, and you know, do you really want to

2673
02:09:07,320 --> 02:09:10,240
Speaker 3: take medication because you're having sex with your partner and

2674
02:09:10,240 --> 02:09:12,320
Speaker 3: they're cool with it, you're cool with it? I don't know.

2675
02:09:12,920 --> 02:09:13,040
Speaker 4: Uh.

2676
02:09:13,760 --> 02:09:16,400
Speaker 3: And and did you have night terrors growing up?

2677
02:09:19,400 --> 02:09:24,200
Speaker 12: Never night terrors, although oddly enough, I have very weird

2678
02:09:24,440 --> 02:09:29,320
Speaker 12: reoccurring dreams. Usually they're different in some respect. And this

2679
02:09:29,520 --> 02:09:32,520
Speaker 12: is completely off of off the topic. But there were

2680
02:09:32,600 --> 02:09:34,280
Speaker 12: always zombie apocalypse.

2681
02:09:34,840 --> 02:09:36,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not off topic, And it's.

2682
02:09:36,240 --> 02:09:38,440
Speaker 12: Always there was something weird about doors.

2683
02:09:38,680 --> 02:09:41,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, And would they would you sometimes wake up with

2684
02:09:41,080 --> 02:09:43,080
Speaker 3: a zombie lying on top of you and you couldn't move?

2685
02:09:45,640 --> 02:09:49,120
Speaker 12: Uh? That never happened. Although I have had sleep paralysis.

2686
02:09:48,640 --> 02:09:52,320
Speaker 3: For right, So sleep paralysis goes with this too, right,

2687
02:09:52,400 --> 02:09:55,840
Speaker 3: And hypnogoga hallucinations are common with sleeprouses. So you guys,

2688
02:09:55,880 --> 02:09:58,680
Speaker 3: you kind of have the full spectrum of sleepwalking. Really

2689
02:09:58,800 --> 02:10:00,680
Speaker 3: is really what it all is. It's like you're you're

2690
02:10:00,800 --> 02:10:04,080
Speaker 3: you're sleep cycling. I don't I'm not an expert in this,

2691
02:10:04,200 --> 02:10:07,080
Speaker 3: but essentially you don't wake up and go to sleep

2692
02:10:07,160 --> 02:10:09,400
Speaker 3: and ram normally you sort of going in and out

2693
02:10:09,440 --> 02:10:12,120
Speaker 3: of these things sort of in in some way that's

2694
02:10:12,160 --> 02:10:14,520
Speaker 3: not quite you know, consistent with going all the way

2695
02:10:14,520 --> 02:10:16,200
Speaker 3: to sleep and waking all the way up. You're in

2696
02:10:16,320 --> 02:10:19,280
Speaker 3: this sort of twilight hypnagogic state when you're doing and

2697
02:10:19,360 --> 02:10:21,800
Speaker 3: you start doing stuff, and that some people are just

2698
02:10:21,920 --> 02:10:24,240
Speaker 3: that way. I mean, I wouldn't worry about it. I

2699
02:10:24,440 --> 02:10:28,240
Speaker 3: I you can sometimes be associated with sort of seizure phenomenon.

2700
02:10:28,880 --> 02:10:31,400
Speaker 3: Probably the most responsible thing for me to tell you

2701
02:10:31,600 --> 02:10:33,200
Speaker 3: is like, well, go get to see a sleep doctor

2702
02:10:33,280 --> 02:10:36,880
Speaker 3: or sleep neurologists, particularly because again I'm not you know,

2703
02:10:38,080 --> 02:10:39,680
Speaker 3: rarely it could be a brain tumor and things like

2704
02:10:39,760 --> 02:10:42,000
Speaker 3: that as well, So it's irresponsible to say just blow

2705
02:10:42,080 --> 02:10:45,000
Speaker 3: it off. But but but the reality is, these things

2706
02:10:45,160 --> 02:10:48,720
Speaker 3: you know are just you know, kind of I won't

2707
02:10:48,720 --> 02:10:54,200
Speaker 3: even say unpleasant. There's normal variance, right so, and especially

2708
02:10:54,240 --> 02:10:55,960
Speaker 3: you have a partner that's into it and you're cool

2709
02:10:56,000 --> 02:10:57,360
Speaker 3: with it. I mean, that's more of the stuff I

2710
02:10:57,360 --> 02:10:59,680
Speaker 3: worry about. I worry about you falling, I worry about

2711
02:10:59,720 --> 02:11:02,480
Speaker 3: you viving. I worry about you you know, those sharp

2712
02:11:02,560 --> 02:11:04,560
Speaker 3: objects are eating when you don't want to eat, And

2713
02:11:04,640 --> 02:11:10,320
Speaker 3: I worry about the partner feeling out of control and violated. So, okay,

2714
02:11:10,560 --> 02:11:10,720
Speaker 3: do you.

2715
02:11:11,000 --> 02:11:13,920
Speaker 1: Enjoy any of these dreams like you find them thrilling?

2716
02:11:16,040 --> 02:11:19,640
Speaker 1: The zombie dreams, the zombie dreams, what's that?

2717
02:11:20,440 --> 02:11:23,920
Speaker 12: It's it's it's it's enjoyable to like wake up to it,

2718
02:11:24,440 --> 02:11:28,520
Speaker 12: like like oh okay, and then it's just continue.

2719
02:11:28,120 --> 02:11:30,880
Speaker 1: Like yeah, why not be so you continue when you

2720
02:11:30,920 --> 02:11:32,160
Speaker 1: wake up, they don't stop.

2721
02:11:32,240 --> 02:11:35,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, they keep going there. They're good. Interesting. What

2722
02:11:35,880 --> 02:11:37,200
Speaker 3: better way to wake up? Is there a better way

2723
02:11:37,200 --> 02:11:37,560
Speaker 3: to wake up?

2724
02:11:37,560 --> 02:11:41,520
Speaker 12: I don't know, so I don't believe.

2725
02:11:42,000 --> 02:11:45,560
Speaker 3: All right, man, that's very very interesting. But good luck

2726
02:11:45,600 --> 02:11:52,640
Speaker 3: to you, Sam, Sam, all right. Now we're done. Now

2727
02:11:52,680 --> 02:11:54,840
Speaker 3: we're done. Now we're done. It's been a privilege, I

2728
02:11:55,360 --> 02:11:57,960
Speaker 3: particularly with the world out there that you you bring in.

2729
02:11:58,120 --> 02:11:59,360
Speaker 3: And I love the fact that the lot of them

2730
02:11:59,400 --> 02:12:01,160
Speaker 3: I'm from, a lot of them are what we call mommies.

2731
02:12:01,200 --> 02:12:03,839
Speaker 3: They come from your mom's house, and this big overlap

2732
02:12:03,960 --> 02:12:05,120
Speaker 3: evidently between our world.

2733
02:12:05,280 --> 02:12:08,560
Speaker 1: I'm happy to hear it. Man, it's been This is

2734
02:12:09,080 --> 02:12:12,960
Speaker 1: like a master class watching you take these calls. You know,

2735
02:12:13,480 --> 02:12:15,160
Speaker 1: It's it's been super cool.

2736
02:12:15,240 --> 02:12:15,320
Speaker 2: Man.

2737
02:12:15,360 --> 02:12:17,320
Speaker 3: I'm honored that you came on my pleasure. Thank you

2738
02:12:17,400 --> 02:12:19,360
Speaker 3: for doing this. You clearly have an audience that loves

2739
02:12:19,400 --> 02:12:21,320
Speaker 3: you and wants to chat with you, and that's a

2740
02:12:21,400 --> 02:12:23,800
Speaker 3: lot of you know, digital streaming stuff is people want

2741
02:12:23,800 --> 02:12:25,760
Speaker 3: to hang out and talk and you give them that chance.

2742
02:12:25,960 --> 02:12:27,880
Speaker 3: So good for you, Thank you, man. I appreciate it.

2743
02:12:28,640 --> 02:12:31,560
Speaker 3: And the gecko part I'm still not totally sold on.

2744
02:12:31,680 --> 02:12:36,360
Speaker 1: But no, OKAYR it's been two full hours and sixteen minutes.

2745
02:12:36,440 --> 02:12:39,840
Speaker 1: Anything else to say about being a gecko? Final thoughts?

2746
02:12:41,000 --> 02:12:44,000
Speaker 3: Be kind to me out there on the internet. I

2747
02:12:44,320 --> 02:12:49,640
Speaker 3: try don't destroy getting memed memed and accept it well

2748
02:12:50,240 --> 02:12:52,400
Speaker 3: and just be kind.

2749
02:12:52,560 --> 02:12:52,720
Speaker 8: You know.

2750
02:12:52,920 --> 02:12:55,680
Speaker 3: I come to you here in peace dressed as a gecko,

2751
02:12:56,440 --> 02:12:59,000
Speaker 3: and and that's my commitment to you all, and to

2752
02:12:59,080 --> 02:13:01,600
Speaker 3: you too, but most of your audience, I'm willing to

2753
02:13:01,680 --> 02:13:03,200
Speaker 3: do this to sit in.

2754
02:13:04,720 --> 02:13:06,320
Speaker 1: The cool I don't think I don't think they'll have

2755
02:13:06,400 --> 02:13:08,080
Speaker 1: a Are you worried about a spin on it of

2756
02:13:08,200 --> 02:13:09,440
Speaker 1: some kind that is dark?

2757
02:13:09,520 --> 02:13:13,440
Speaker 3: I'm worried that, uh, it will emerge someday when I'm

2758
02:13:13,440 --> 02:13:16,200
Speaker 3: trying to do something very serious and people, This is

2759
02:13:16,240 --> 02:13:22,600
Speaker 3: the thing. I it's people. When your physicians, you're not

2760
02:13:22,720 --> 02:13:26,400
Speaker 3: allowed to do anything unusual. And and I've always sort

2761
02:13:26,440 --> 02:13:30,080
Speaker 3: of pushed that envelope. A little bit is evidence. Today

2762
02:13:30,160 --> 02:13:32,920
Speaker 3: is evidence and you're and christ is here.

2763
02:13:33,720 --> 02:13:35,840
Speaker 1: And I can't shout out to Christa for putting this.

2764
02:13:36,240 --> 02:13:37,960
Speaker 3: I can't say no to Christa. There is no saying

2765
02:13:38,120 --> 02:13:41,440
Speaker 3: you'll learn this. There's no saying Notachrista. So that's unless

2766
02:13:41,440 --> 02:13:41,760
Speaker 3: I'm here.

2767
02:13:42,480 --> 02:13:43,960
Speaker 1: It's been a hont great talk.

2768
02:13:44,480 --> 02:13:45,920
Speaker 3: Thank you man, pleasure, thank you so much.

2769
02:13:47,560 --> 02:13:48,800
Speaker 8: Goes on the line.

2770
02:13:50,160 --> 02:13:53,800
Speaker 3: Ever teaching you.

2771
02:14:02,520 --> 02:14:14,680
Speaker 8: Boo boo boo boo boo boo, boof boof boof