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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. Today. You get Me.

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Speaker 2: You get Me because the past few weeks have been

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Speaker 2: interesting and I just wanted to share a little bit

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Speaker 2: about my.

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Speaker 1: Life with you.

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Speaker 2: And right now I'm literally rushing into the studio to

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Speaker 2: record this because life can be a little crazy sometimes.

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Speaker 1: And that's okay.

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Speaker 2: Today I had to run my mom to the University

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Speaker 2: of Michigan. And I found this out just yesterday. This

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Speaker 2: is like one of those things that happens to you.

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Speaker 2: And it was like, hey, I think I tore my

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Speaker 2: retina and I called and got this appointment for tomorrow,

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Speaker 2: drop everything and take me.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, okay, of course, yes, this

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Speaker 1: is my mom. I'm going to do this.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know this has probably happened to you guys,

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Speaker 2: but I was changing everything around because I had to

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Speaker 2: move on my schedule and one of my friends was like, yeah, well,

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Speaker 2: welcome to the Sandwich generation. And I was like, am

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Speaker 2: I in the Sandwich generation? And am I now the

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Speaker 2: person that takes care of my kids and my mother?

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Speaker 2: And I don't really think that, but it started to

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Speaker 2: hit me hard. I started thinking about it, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, I mean, I guess in a little bit

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Speaker 2: of a way. I am, But I think we're different

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Speaker 2: than our parents generation because my mom when she hit

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Speaker 2: that point, we were older because she had me younger

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Speaker 2: than I had my kids, so we were older when

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Speaker 2: she was taking care of her mother. And I think

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Speaker 2: it was different also because there wasn't so much to

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Speaker 2: distract my parents. And I'm really starting to realize this

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Speaker 2: because we're so busy and we allow busyness to invade

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Speaker 2: every part of our lives. And I know you guys

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Speaker 2: probably see the same things that I see, where there's

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Speaker 2: like this person on social media. It'say, hey, just so

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Speaker 2: you know, your kids are suffering because you have your

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Speaker 2: phone too much at home.

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Speaker 1: You should put your phone down.

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Speaker 2: And I'm doing this video because I'm an influencer and

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Speaker 2: I'm a great parenting advocate, and I'm telling you exactly

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Speaker 2: how to do this, and you're.

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Speaker 1: Thinking the same thing.

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking, Well, why are you putting this on social

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Speaker 2: media to tell me? Obviously you took time to be

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Speaker 2: on your phone to record this video to put on

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Speaker 2: social media to make me feel guilty about the fact

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Speaker 2: that I am also on my phone. We are all

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Speaker 2: doing it. There's no solution. It's not like you're just

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Speaker 2: going to give it up. I have friends who are like,

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Speaker 2: we have a rule at night, we put our phones

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Speaker 2: in the basket. None of us are on our phones,

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Speaker 2: and that's fantastic. I wish that were my house, but

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Speaker 2: it's not, and I almost I kind of don't want

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Speaker 2: that to be my house because I also think we're

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Speaker 2: an incredibly social household, and my kids have times when

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Speaker 2: they talk to their friends.

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Speaker 1: But it was like a.

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Speaker 2: Wake up call that I am now taking care of

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Speaker 2: my mom in a way, not really but at times,

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Speaker 2: and I'm busier by choice than she was at my age,

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Speaker 2: and it was I kind of have had a double

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Speaker 2: wake up call on this recently because we went on

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Speaker 2: this vacation and I wrote an not bet about it.

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Speaker 2: You can read it in the Washington Examiner. But it's

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Speaker 2: pretty simple. We really hadn't gone on vacation in a

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Speaker 2: long time. So we've been on vacations. I shouldn't say

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Speaker 2: that we've been on vacations, but did I really allow

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Speaker 2: myself to go on a vacation because we have spring

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Speaker 2: break every year and my parents have a house. We

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Speaker 2: lost my dad a few years ago, so my mom

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Speaker 2: is in the house in Florida, and it's been like

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Speaker 2: just easy to take the kids there, and it's like

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Speaker 2: moving from one house to another and still carry on

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Speaker 2: with business during the week, and I say, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I can. I can do a zoom call while I'm

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Speaker 2: at my mom's house, and I could do a podcast,

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Speaker 2: and I could go out on TV and I can

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Speaker 2: have a dinner.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't really vacation because I've allowed myself to

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Speaker 1: be too busy. So I started thinking.

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Speaker 2: About it, and I'm like, I go out. When I

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Speaker 2: was campaigning, I would. Everybody was like, oh, you're going

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Speaker 2: to Florida for spring break.

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Speaker 1: That's great.

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Speaker 2: You could meet with people while you're there, and they

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Speaker 2: schedule like four nights.

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Speaker 1: That I'm meeting with someone.

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Speaker 2: And then even after I got out of the campaign season,

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Speaker 2: it was like, well, there are still people who I.

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Speaker 1: Want to meet with while I'm down there, So when

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Speaker 1: I go, I will.

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Speaker 2: And then you start calculating and you're like, how many

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Speaker 2: nights of spring break do I get with my kids

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Speaker 2: in their lifetime. It's like, what one hundred and thirty

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Speaker 2: maybe maybe maybe less. And I decide that I'm going

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Speaker 2: to take some of those to do business. But honestly,

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Speaker 2: I didn't even realize it until this summer. I went

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Speaker 2: on vacation with my kids and my mom and my

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Speaker 2: sister's family and we went to Hiltonhead Island. So hilton

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Speaker 2: Head is a place that my parents took us every

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Speaker 2: year when I was a kid because my parents actually

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Speaker 2: met there, so went and it was just an escape.

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Speaker 2: And when I was a kid, I didn't even think

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Speaker 2: about this until I was there. When I was a kid,

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Speaker 2: my parents were just totally invested in us. My dad

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Speaker 2: would golf during the day, but the rest of the

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Speaker 2: time it was my mom was at the beach with us.

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Speaker 1: She was playing with us. We would go back to

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Speaker 1: the house, we would have a meal, we would go

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Speaker 1: out to the shops.

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Speaker 2: We would come back and play games. It was totally

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Speaker 2: focused on us. Because there were no cell phones. There

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Speaker 2: was nothing to distract you.

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Speaker 1: When you left work. There wasn't even email.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you think about it's like hard for my

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Speaker 2: kids to even comprehend you were disconnected. You unless someone

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Speaker 2: found out the number of the house you were staying

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Speaker 2: at or your hotel.

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Speaker 1: You didn't have anybody calling.

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Speaker 2: So that I kind of did that when I went

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Speaker 2: on vacation with my family this time, and my kids

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Speaker 2: were like, this is amazing, this is so great. And

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Speaker 2: one time we were in at the and I was

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Speaker 2: in the waves with my girls. You know, phone is

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Speaker 2: someplace else. I am totally engaged with them, and my

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Speaker 2: oldest who is sixteen, she was right next to me,

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Speaker 2: were playing in the waves and she goes, she whispers,

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Speaker 2: thank you, mommy, and I said, what are you thanking

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Speaker 2: me for? She's just being out here, being with us.

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Speaker 2: And it was like this recurring theme with my girls.

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Speaker 2: We're just so grateful that you're here. And it was

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Speaker 2: kind of like this wake up call. Have I been

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Speaker 2: great at being the Sandwich generation? Because part of that,

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Speaker 2: at the other end of that sandwich is my kids.

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Speaker 2: And I would say, you know, I went on spring

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Speaker 2: break with them, or I was campaigning and I took them,

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Speaker 2: and I see this all the time.

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Speaker 1: I think now I'm like hyper.

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Speaker 2: Aware of politicians who are out there with their kids,

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Speaker 2: and I think it was great for them.

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Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, because my kids are super outgoing.

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Speaker 2: They can talk to any adult, They are up on

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Speaker 2: the current topics, and they can have these amazing conversations

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Speaker 2: with no fear, and I think a lot of that

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Speaker 2: was campaigning. But I mean, it's not like my kids

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Speaker 2: are like, oh man, I'd really like to go back

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Speaker 2: and see the world's biggest ball of yarn.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's like you do things like that when

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Speaker 1: you're campaigning. You're like, now, look at that.

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Speaker 2: I took my kids to see the world's biggest ball yarn.

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Speaker 2: They don't care, and they're literally never going to tell anyone.

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Speaker 1: It's like the.

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Speaker 2: Least important thing that's ever happened to them. The things

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Speaker 2: you do with your kids, they've got to be meaningful.

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Speaker 2: And I'm telling you this not from the standpoint of

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Speaker 2: a parenting expert, but I hear people on social media constantly,

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Speaker 2: Like I said.

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Speaker 1: Those little videos where someone's like, you are not a

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Speaker 1: good parent if you're doing this. Look, we're all figuring

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Speaker 1: this out.

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Speaker 2: That's the interesting part about parenting is there's literally no

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Speaker 2: rules outside of the Bible.

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Speaker 1: There are no there's nothing that says when you come home.

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Speaker 2: I mean the very few rules of like, you know,

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Speaker 2: you have to feed them and give them a warm

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Speaker 2: place to sleep, and you know, give them water.

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Speaker 1: But the general rules of like how.

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Speaker 2: You parents, like, oh you can't give a phone at

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Speaker 2: this age, and you can't have a bicycle until this age,

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Speaker 2: and you can't have a Really no one has all

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Speaker 2: of those answers, but I will tell you that I

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Speaker 2: have become incredibly close to my kids, and I've realized

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Speaker 2: that that vacation time is so incredibly important because we

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Speaker 2: are sandwiched between our kids and our parents, and as

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Speaker 2: soon as one of those groups gets independence, the other

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Speaker 2: group is losing independence and they need you, and it's

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Speaker 2: a weird balance. But I've found that with my kids,

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Speaker 2: being really close to them and being their best friends

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Speaker 2: has been one of the best choices that I can make.

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Speaker 2: And this I find interesting because I've heard a lot

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Speaker 2: of people who have come out recently and said, don't

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Speaker 2: be your kid's best friend.

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Speaker 1: You're not your kid's best friend. You're the disciplinarian.

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Speaker 2: So I went on this vacation and my kids talk

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Speaker 2: to me about everything, and we talked about school and

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Speaker 2: all their fears, and we just had time to talk

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Speaker 2: about going into high school and what that's going to

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Speaker 2: be like, and they told me everything. Let's take a

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Speaker 2: quick commercial break. We'll continue next on the Tutor Dixon Podcast.

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Speaker 2: A few years ago, one of my girls says to me,

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Speaker 2: they went to middle school camp. And so in middle

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Speaker 2: school they go to camp and they're like away from

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Speaker 2: me for one night, right, So that's like a big

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Speaker 2: deal because they're with all their friends and it's away.

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Speaker 1: From their parents, and you're like at home thinking.

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Speaker 2: This is great because I finally have a night by

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Speaker 2: myself and they're at at middle school camp, thinking like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm thinking about this because I'm

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Speaker 2: away from my parents, but it's like this transitional time.

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Speaker 2: So apparently all the girls are in middle school camp

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Speaker 2: and they're t talking about boys, and my daughter says

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Speaker 2: something about them.

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Speaker 1: I was talking to my mom about this boy.

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Speaker 2: I liked, and one of the girls goes, what do

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Speaker 2: you mean you were talking to your mom about it?

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Speaker 2: And she's like, yeah, I was telling my mom about

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Speaker 2: this boy that I liked, and she said I would

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Speaker 2: never tell my mom about any boy that I liked.

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Speaker 2: So then they go to bed and she hears, hey, hey, Elan,

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Speaker 2: what's it like when you tell your mom about boy

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Speaker 2: that you like?

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Speaker 1: And she goes, I mean, I don't know, I just

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Speaker 1: talked to her about it.

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Speaker 2: And we go through it and we discuss what it's

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Speaker 2: like and why I like him, and she goes, man,

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Speaker 2: I'd never be brave enough. My mom would be so

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Speaker 2: mad at me if she found out I liked a boy.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that's the best.

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Speaker 2: One of the best parts of watching them grow up

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Speaker 2: is hearing how they react to friends, how they react

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Speaker 2: to relationships, what they think about boys, because at a

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Speaker 2: certain point they're gonna I have a boyfriend, and I

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Speaker 2: don't want them hiding that from me. And I found

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Speaker 2: that these parents that are massive disciplinarians, they don't have

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Speaker 2: a strong relationship with their kids. They think they do,

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Speaker 2: but their kids are hiding a lot from them. Like

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Speaker 2: I said, I'm not a parenting expert. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: but my experience with my kids has been like the

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Speaker 2: more we talk about things, the more open we are,

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Speaker 2: the more I know about their lives. So we get

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Speaker 2: back from vacation and we're getting ready for school, and

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Speaker 2: my girls are like, oh, you know, we're going to

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Speaker 2: go back to school and we're going to see these

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Speaker 2: friends and these friends, and my one daughter is like, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to see friends that are going through this

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Speaker 2: really awkward phase right now. And I said, what do

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Speaker 2: you mean they're going through an awkward phase. And she said,

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Speaker 2: you know, we've got these two groups of parents at school,

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Speaker 2: which I think is really fascinating because there's like so

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Speaker 2: many experts out there right now and when should you

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Speaker 2: kid have a cell phone? But this is like the

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Speaker 2: this is the message from the actual kids.

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Speaker 1: So they said, yeah, there's all.

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Speaker 2: These kids now in high school that are getting their

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Speaker 2: first phones, so they're going through that phase. And I'm like,

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Speaker 2: what's the phase. So let me preface this by saying

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Speaker 2: I've always kind of been a believer that you don't

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Speaker 2: have to ban your kids from having a phone until

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Speaker 2: a certain age. But I will also say I was

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Speaker 2: a kid that when I got into fifth grade, I

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Speaker 2: was on the phone every night talking to my friends.

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Speaker 2: My mom would have to pick up the other line,

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Speaker 2: kick me off the phone, tell me to do my homework.

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Speaker 1: But it was like a part of my life that

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Speaker 1: was so important.

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Speaker 2: Talking to my friends, having that interaction was so important

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Speaker 2: to me. Then I look at my kids and I'm

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Speaker 2: I think they don't have phones that are in the house,

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Speaker 2: and this idea that it's like they can't have a

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Speaker 2: phone at all, Well, then that critical part of their

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Speaker 2: life where they go from especially girls. I mean I

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Speaker 2: only have girls, so I don't know about boys. But

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Speaker 2: the critical part of their life when they start to

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Speaker 2: communicate with their friends on their own. It's really like

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Speaker 2: it starts when you're ten, you're in fifth grade, when

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Speaker 2: you're a girl. But these kids missed it because they

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Speaker 2: went we were in this generation where we're like the

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Speaker 2: first generation parenting with phones, and these other parents like,

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Speaker 2: don't do not get your kid a phone so bad,

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Speaker 2: they're gonna be depressed, they're gonna have all these problems.

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Speaker 1: So then it was interesting because you.

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Speaker 2: Know, my theory was never that. I always thought they

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Speaker 2: should be able to communicate. So they're like, man, there's

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Speaker 2: these kids in high school. They're going through their awkward phase,

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Speaker 2: like what do you mean, Well, you know, you pull

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Speaker 2: you you send out these messages and they're embarrassing and

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Speaker 2: they don't know how to handle it, and they're starting

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Speaker 2: to watch things they've never watched before, and they start

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Speaker 2: to say weird things at school and I'm like, man,

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Speaker 2: this is like a side of the the modern cell

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Speaker 2: phone that nobody talks about. But I have this great

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Speaker 2: relationship with my girls. So they tell me that I

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Speaker 2: was talking to my girlfriend about it, and I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 2: do your kids have a phone? And her kids are

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Speaker 2: in middle school, and I was telling her this situation

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Speaker 2: about like the whole awkwardness, and she goes, man, I

288
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Speaker 2: never thought about that, but she said, yeah, my son

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Speaker 2: is he just got out of sixth grade.

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Speaker 1: He'll be going into seventh grade.

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Speaker 2: And she said, I read his text messages and I'm like, buddy,

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Speaker 2: you're saying.

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Speaker 1: Some weird stuff. She's like, well, man, what if he

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Speaker 1: were saying this when he was in high school? Exactly?

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Speaker 1: So for people out there, it's like this big.

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Speaker 2: Push right now, do not be your child's friend. I

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Speaker 2: am my girl's friends. I am also their disciplinarian, but

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Speaker 2: I am in every part of their life. And guess what,

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Speaker 2: my mom was in every part of my life, every

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Speaker 2: part of my life. My mom was my absolute best friend.

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Speaker 2: I remember when I would come home from going out

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Speaker 2: at night, my parents were always up, they were never asleep,

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Speaker 2: they were always waiting for me, almost like codically, but

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Speaker 2: they were.

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Speaker 1: Like super overprotective.

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Speaker 2: So every time I went out in high school, and

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Speaker 2: I also think like when I was a kid, that

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00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,200
Speaker 2: was another weird difference kids went out every single night,

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Speaker 2: and my girls, like their friends, don't go out every

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Speaker 2: single night. But I would go out, and when I

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Speaker 2: would come home, every time I would, my parents would

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Speaker 2: call me up to their bedroom and I would sit

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Speaker 2: down on the end of their bed and tell my

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Speaker 2: mom everything that went on, everything about my friends, everything.

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Speaker 2: And so I feel like it as this kid now

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Speaker 2: in the Sandwich generation, my mom is still my best friend.

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Speaker 2: I get to talk to her about everything, and I

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Speaker 2: get and she talks to my kids like we are

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Speaker 2: all very, very close, and we all know we've all

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Speaker 2: gotten close even through this technology. But being away from

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Speaker 2: technology really really reinforce the fact that I need to

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Speaker 2: make space for my kids when I am home, because

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Speaker 2: technology is different. When I got home from the when

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Speaker 2: I got home from going out. When I was in

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Speaker 2: high school, my parents weren't sitting in the bedroom on

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Speaker 2: their phones. They were watching weird shows like Nick at

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Speaker 2: Night and you know whatever the equivalent of Blue Bloods

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Speaker 2: was back then, you know, like they're up there watching

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Speaker 2: Sometimes they would watch those stupid shows that were like

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Speaker 2: the Mari.

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Speaker 1: Povit Show, and they'd be like, oh.

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Speaker 2: You could be doing really bad, and we just saw

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Speaker 2: a girl that was doing really bad things.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe you should not watch these shows.

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Speaker 2: Mom and dad, like, those were the shows that were

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Speaker 2: on when I was young, But that's what it was.

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Speaker 2: They were watching TV, you know, they weren't like doom scrolling.

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Speaker 1: Now. My mom will come to me and.

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Speaker 2: She'd be like, do you know what they're doing to

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Speaker 2: children in India. I'm like, Mom, that's not actually happening.

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Speaker 2: This is something you saw on Facebook. Nothing is true.

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Speaker 2: That's the worst part. Like, none of the stuff is true.

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Speaker 2: So you're sandwich between what telling your kids what's true

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00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,000
Speaker 2: and telling your parents what's true because they read something

345
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,480
Speaker 2: like that's a lie, this is AI it was manufacturing.

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Speaker 2: No I saw I saw a video like, no, you didn't.

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Speaker 2: It is a weird place for us to be in

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Speaker 2: the sandwich generation, But I also think it's a good

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Speaker 2: place as godly parents to sit and work through all

350
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,040
Speaker 2: of these issues with them. You've heard me say before

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Speaker 2: that I talked to my girls about who they are,

352
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Speaker 2: and that to me is really important to know who

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Speaker 2: they are and to hear through their.

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Speaker 1: Own voice who they are.

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Speaker 2: And if I were focused on only discipline in the

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Speaker 2: stern exterior and I know parents who feel it to

357
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,920
Speaker 2: be a godly parent it has to be hardcore discipline

358
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Speaker 2: and a stern exterior, and that works for some families,

359
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:53,000
Speaker 2: but for me, my godly parenting approach is to come

360
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,800
Speaker 2: alongside them and say, tell me what's happening in your life,

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Speaker 2: and let's determine who you are in God's image, what

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00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,840
Speaker 2: gifts God has given you, and how you can use

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00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,800
Speaker 2: who you are and those gifts God has given you

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Speaker 2: to grow in life. And I feel like that was

365
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Speaker 2: helpful to me when I was young too with my mom,

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Speaker 2: and it might have been a little different approach, but

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Speaker 2: she was definitely talking to me about who I am,

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00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,600
Speaker 2: so they know I'm of their authority, but they also

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Speaker 2: know that I'm there. And I guess this is the

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Speaker 2: sandwich because when we were in hilton Head, so we

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Speaker 2: went to hilton Head. Like I said, we lost my

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Speaker 2: dad in twenty twenty two. This is our first time

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Speaker 2: back to hilton Head. My parents met in hilton Head.

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Speaker 2: It's my first time back to hilton Head without my dad.

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Speaker 2: And I think this is the first time that I

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Speaker 2: really felt like.

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Speaker 1: There's a difference. This is a different.

378
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Speaker 2: Season in my life. My girls, my oldest is driving.

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00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 2: She's independent and when we're home, she can go wherever

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00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 2: she wants and just head out with friends. She has

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Speaker 2: that independence now.

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Speaker 1: And my mom is a.

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00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:17,080
Speaker 2: Little more cautious now without my dad, and I think

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00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,480
Speaker 2: that she was. You know, there were times in Hilton

385
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 2: Head that I could tell she was sad, and we

386
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:27,879
Speaker 2: were sad. You know, my dad not being there felt crazy, crazy, wrong.

387
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 2: She's so strong, but it's like that was her other half.

388
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,879
Speaker 2: So she's a little slower, she's a little more cautious.

389
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,960
Speaker 2: She didn't go out to the beach as much. And

390
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 2: I think that's a moment too as an adult, where

391
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 2: you go those days aren't coming back, and that's hard.

392
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 2: And I didn't have enough of those days with my girls.

393
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 2: I spent that time of busyness not stepping back and saying, man,

394
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to spend all the time, all the vacations,

395
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 2: pouring into them every minute, and I want to take

396
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 2: this time now to do it.

397
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,400
Speaker 1: Because it was such a wake up.

398
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 2: Call to be there, having my mom in the house

399
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 2: with the girls and seeing my mom slow down and

400
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 2: my mom take naps, you know, like this is a

401
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:15,359
Speaker 2: woman who never napped and here She's like, she's at

402
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,439
Speaker 2: a different point in her life and I need to

403
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,879
Speaker 2: pour into my kids what she poured into me. So

404
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 2: she's listening to all of their stories. She's playing the

405
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,520
Speaker 2: games at night, she's watching the movies. But it's just

406
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 2: a little bit different. On the way back from Hilton Head,

407
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,160
Speaker 2: so I made us drive. That also drove her crazy.

408
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 2: My dad would never have driven to Hilton Head. And

409
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,719
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, hey, why don't we make an adventure

410
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 2: of this? Why don't we drive? Mom's like, what are

411
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 2: you talking about? Why would we do that? Like, why

412
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,119
Speaker 2: wouldn't we do that? We're taking the dog. It'll be great.

413
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,879
Speaker 2: We'll stop in Lexington, we'll take the girls on a

414
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,679
Speaker 2: college tour of my alma mater. It'll be fantastic. And

415
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,399
Speaker 2: I actually, I do think it was great. It was

416
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,240
Speaker 2: a long ride, and I think she was kind of

417
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 2: horrified by it, but it really didn't feel that bad

418
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 2: because we got to talk the whole way. Then on

419
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 2: the way back, this is like that moment where you

420
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 2: see this vulnerability and you're like, man, things are changing.

421
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 2: She goes, the letters on my phone are getting distorted.

422
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 2: She's look at my phone when I type the letters,

423
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 2: look weird. Is something happening to my phone? Like no,

424
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 2: but she had just had this cataract surgery.

425
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, I think it's just maybe it's just.

426
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 2: Your cataract surgery. Maybe something's different. She's like, I don't know,

427
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 2: it's really weird. I feel like my vision's a little different.

428
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 2: So she comes home and she goes to the doctor's

429
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 2: office and they were like, yeah, it looks like your

430
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 2: retina's torn. And my sister and I are like, oh man,

431
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 2: this is a problem. We have to get this fixed

432
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 2: right away. She sends her scans to the University of Michigan.

433
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 2: They call her and they're like, I think we should

434
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 2: see you tomorrow. So then we're panicked, you know, like,

435
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, she's going to be blind. What are

436
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 2: we going to do? My sister's in Florida. She's like,

437
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 2: you gotta take her. And I'm immediately, of course, like yeah, yes,

438
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 2: And in my mind, I'm like, oh my gosh, what

439
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 2: am I How do I get all of these things done?

440
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 2: Which hence is the reason I'm like rushing to do

441
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,919
Speaker 2: a podcast and telling you about my whole life. But

442
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 2: I feel like this is something we all go through.

443
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,919
Speaker 2: Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on

444
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 2: the Tutor Dixon Podcast. This is the point when my

445
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 2: friend goes, oh, you're in the Sandwich generation.

446
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, hm, and I kind.

447
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 2: Of feel it right because I just rushed from a

448
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 2: parent meeting the other night, going from work to the

449
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 2: parent meeting, just had school orientation. Feel like this is

450
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 2: like pretty mom focused. Moms are probably more so in

451
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: sandwiched between. And then it's like I am trying to

452
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 2: get everything ready for the first day of school, parent

453
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:07,360
Speaker 2: meeting orientation, school supplies backpacks, everything all the last few

454
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: minutes of summer, and it's like they think I have

455
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 2: a torn retinas. So we have to take a day

456
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 2: and drive over to the University of Michigan.

457
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,160
Speaker 1: And I'm like absolutely.

458
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 2: So we get in the car and this is like

459
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 2: this is part of having a parent, like this would

460
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 2: never have happened with my dad. But my mom is like, yeah,

461
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 2: this is the address, this is where we're going. And

462
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 2: for some reason, it never dawns on me that I

463
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 2: should be like, show me where they told you this

464
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 2: is the address, because why wouldn't it be that's what

465
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 2: she's saying. So we drive and as we're driving, it's

466
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 2: like Gretchen Whitmer for six years has said she was

467
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 2: going to fix the damn roads. So she decided to

468
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,120
Speaker 2: do it all in the last like eighteen months of

469
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 2: being governor. So I give her credit. They're getting fixed,

470
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:01,439
Speaker 2: but it is hellish to drive across the state. So

471
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 2: we get in the car and it's like, your time

472
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 2: of arrival is ten, which is great because our appointment's

473
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 2: at ten forty five. But then as we're driving, the

474
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: GPS is like ten seventeen, ten twenty six, ten thirty six,

475
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 2: ten thirty seven, and I'm like, oh my gosh, we're

476
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: going to be late. So then you know, technology says,

477
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 2: oh go this way, and you go on all these

478
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 2: back roads you and then we got there at ten fifteen.

479
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 1: We droven.

480
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,959
Speaker 2: We walk into the building this my mom says, this

481
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 2: isn't Brighton, it's not in ann Arbor. I'm like, oh, okay,

482
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 2: that good, that's closer. We walk up to check in

483
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 2: and the lady's like, your appointments in ann Arbor. And

484
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 2: there was like a full five seconds where I was like, well,

485
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 2: we're screwed. We drove all the way across the state

486
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 2: and now we're going to miss this appointment. And then

487
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, we are making this. I was like, listen,

488
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 2: I know you are going to try to walk slow

489
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 2: to the car, but you've got a hustle woman. We

490
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 2: are getting you to this appointment. And she was like, okay,

491
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 2: all right, we're gonna go. We bust a move down

492
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 2: to ann Arboro. We got in there, waited forever, so

493
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 2: I guess it didn't really matter that we were late.

494
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 2: The guy says, yeah, you've got to have surgery. So

495
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, we're going to figure this out. We're

496
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 2: going to my sister and I are going to figure

497
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 2: out how we get her through this, and.

498
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: I'm glad to do it.

499
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 2: I absolutely love being a part of the Sandwich generation

500
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 2: because I get to take care of my kids and

501
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 2: I get to be there for my mom because she

502
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:35,360
Speaker 2: was there for me in so many cases, not only

503
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,199
Speaker 2: when I was pregnant.

504
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 1: My gosh, when I went through cancer, I had to

505
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,639
Speaker 1: go Ugh. When you go through.

506
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 2: Breast cancer and you have a double mastectomy there, I

507
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 2: am not good with medical things, and they have these

508
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 2: drains coming out of your body and they're disgusting. And

509
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 2: my mom was like I will be there for two weeks.

510
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 2: I will sit next to you in a hotel room

511
00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 2: in Baltimore and empty these drains for you. I am

512
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 2: so grateful. Did I get to do something for her back?

513
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: Anything? I will do anything, In fact, even on the

514
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: way home. This is so my mom.

515
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 2: So we are coming home and it's like, there's this

516
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 2: huge slowdown on the highway. You've got to get off

517
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 2: and take this detour, and we're in her car. We

518
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,640
Speaker 2: would have taken my car, but I had to take

519
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 2: my car for an oil change because I made her

520
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 2: take my car toohill Net. You know, we'd just driven

521
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 2: my car for a really long time. So of course

522
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this also happens to be on the

523
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 2: day we're going to u M on the day that

524
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 2: I am getting an oil change. So we get off

525
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 2: the highway and we drive two and a half miles

526
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 2: to what is going to be a fourteen mile detour.

527
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 2: When we get two and a half miles in, it's

528
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 2: a dirt road. And she's like, oh, yeah, no, I said,

529
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: what do you mean, No, We're not taking this car

530
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 2: on a dirt road. I'm like, we're going to be

531
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 2: on the highway for an extra twenty minutes. If we

532
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:02,160
Speaker 2: don't take this dirt road, She's like, I got time. Awesome,

533
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 2: let me turn this car around. We will not take

534
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 2: your heaven forbid, we go through the car wash. Will

535
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 2: not take your car on this dirt road. We will

536
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 2: get right back on the highway.

537
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 1: And then and we did.

538
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: Of course, why because she's my mom, and if she

539
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 2: tells me I'm not taking her car on a dirt road,

540
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 2: guess what, I'm not taking her car on a dirt road.

541
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 2: So we got back on the highway. We waited in traffic,

542
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,439
Speaker 2: and we got to sit and talk. And I love it.

543
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,880
Speaker 2: I get them all. I get my mom, I get

544
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 2: the kids, and I enjoy them.

545
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: I guess what.

546
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 2: Everybody loves the sandwich. And for a short period of time,

547
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 2: I get to be in the middle of the sandwich

548
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 2: and it seems like the very best spot. I am

549
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 2: good at being needed, I am not so good at needing,

550
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 2: and I'm headed to the.

551
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:52,959
Speaker 1: Other side of the sandwich. I know it.

552
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 2: I hope I have made good enough friends with my

553
00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 2: girls that they will drop everything and wipe their schedule

554
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 2: clear to jump in the car and drive me to

555
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 2: U of M.

556
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 1: When I need it, so I.

557
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 2: Think that my friend was actually complaining when she said,

558
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 2: welcome to the sandwich generation, but I say welcome indeed.

559
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,719
Speaker 2: I am so glad I get to be in the

560
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 2: middle of the sandwich for this short period of time.

561
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 2: And I hope you guys enjoy whatever part of life

562
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,719
Speaker 2: you are in as well. Thank you so much for

563
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 2: listening to me on the Tutor Dixon podcast today. For

564
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 2: this episode and others, go to Tutor dixonpodcast dot com.

565
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 2: You can go to the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

566
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcasts where you can watch at

567
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 2: Rumble or YouTube at Tutor Dixon and make sure you

568
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 2: tune in next time to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. Have

569
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 2: a blessed day and go out there and have a

570
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 2: sandwich