Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hello, Hello, Hello, let's get started. If you're a
Speaker 1: fan of The Happiness Lab, you probably know the show's
Speaker 1: origin story. As a college professor, I started worrying about
Speaker 1: the levels of stress and anxiety I was seeing in
Speaker 1: my students welcome everybody to psychology and the good life.
Speaker 1: So I developed a class on the science of Happiness.
Speaker 1: That we're going to start by talking about why I'm
Speaker 1: teaching this class in the first place. Of course, designed
Speaker 1: to teach my students research based strategies that they could
Speaker 1: use to navigate tough times, improve their emotional health, and
Speaker 1: feel happier. It became Yale's most popular class ever. I'm
Speaker 1: a little bit surprised to see as many of you
Speaker 1: are here as are here, But that's great and is
Speaker 1: now offered both free online and other universities around the world.
Speaker 1: And the science shows that learning these happiness strategies really
Speaker 1: does help. Several new studies have found that students who
Speaker 1: learned the tips I teach show significant improvements in their
Speaker 1: overall well being. But there is one thing about learning
Speaker 1: all these happiness tips that makes my students feel a
Speaker 1: little frustrated. I'm so thankful to have learned all these
Speaker 1: helpful strategies. A student will always say, but I really
Speaker 1: really wish I had learned this stuff earlier, and believe me,
Speaker 1: I totally get that frustration. Nowadays, I'm an expert on happiness,
Speaker 1: but I didn't learn these tips until my fourth decade.
Speaker 1: My life would have been way less stressful and emotionally
Speaker 1: fraught if I had all these happiness habits earlier. Honestly,
Speaker 1: if I had a time machine, I'd go back to
Speaker 1: the early eighties, find my kid's self and teach her
Speaker 1: exactly the same things that I tell my students now.
Speaker 1: You see, it doesn't matter if you're three, twenty three
Speaker 1: or one hundred and three. The same happiness principles apply.
Speaker 1: You may have different problems in priorities at different stages
Speaker 1: of your life, but whether you're in school, at work,
Speaker 1: raising a family, or in retirement, the same core ideas hold.
Speaker 1: And that's why I wish I was able to teach
Speaker 1: kid Laurie all these ideas back in the day, though
Speaker 1: admittedly how I'd explain these happiness strategies to her would
Speaker 1: be a little different. I'd probably enlist the help of
Speaker 1: some folks who are more fun and relatable.
Speaker 2: That's us high up friends, Hello everybody.
Speaker 1: These were the real tutors that young Laurie had growing up.
Speaker 1: These monsters and fairies and giant yellow birds are great
Speaker 1: at passing along important life lessons to kids while also
Speaker 1: making them feel happier, and they've been doing it for
Speaker 1: over fifty years. So in honor of my younger self,
Speaker 1: the Happiness Lab is partnering up with Sesame Workshop, the
Speaker 1: nonprofit that creates Sesame Street. Over the next few episodes,
Speaker 1: we'll explore a series of classic happiness boosting strategies, ones
Speaker 1: that are so simple even little kids can use them.
Speaker 1: But these episodes aren't just for kids. They're for you,
Speaker 1: because we all need quick strategies to help us feel
Speaker 1: better when times get tough, and what better way to
Speaker 1: learn them than with the added nostalgia of a little
Speaker 1: Sesame Street fund.
Speaker 2: Let's go, Doctor Laurie. Oh, I am so excited. This
Speaker 2: is gonna be so magical.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, friends and Abby. I'll be seeing you
Speaker 1: a little later to talk about this episode's big happiness
Speaker 1: topic tell me more. But before we get started, I
Speaker 1: wanted to explore why it's never too early or too
Speaker 1: late to start learning the happiness essentials. So I've tagged
Speaker 1: in the expert on charting well being across a lifetime.
Speaker 3: I adored Sesame Street, like Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch.
Speaker 3: I just adored Sesame Street.
Speaker 1: This is Harvard Medical School professor and fellow Sesame Street fan,
Speaker 1: Robert Waldinger.
Speaker 3: I would sit there with my kids on the couch
Speaker 3: watching Sesame Student. I'd be the one laughing the hardest.
Speaker 1: Robert has a rather unique academic pedigree. He's a psychiatrist,
Speaker 1: a best selling author.
Speaker 3: And I direct the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which
Speaker 3: is the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.
Speaker 1: The study tracks of physical and mental health of people
Speaker 1: across decades. It started in the late nineteen thirties when
Speaker 1: researchers began following the lives of one cohort of Harvard
Speaker 1: sophomores and then another group of inner city teams from Boston.
Speaker 1: Robert and his predecessors have followed these men as well
Speaker 1: as their partners and their children for over eighty years.
Speaker 3: And what we studied was the great big themes of life,
Speaker 3: which are mental health, physical health, work, life relationships, and
Speaker 3: then as people got older, aging and retirement.
Speaker 1: This mega experiment has now provided pretty much the definitive
Speaker 1: word on the stuff that matters for achieving a healthier,
Speaker 1: happier life and spoiler alert. The findings include lots of
Speaker 1: the strategies we talk about on this podcast, like making
Speaker 1: sure you invest in relationships, develop a sense of purpose,
Speaker 1: and avoid the happiness traps that come with striving for
Speaker 1: money and possessions. But another big message of the Harvard
Speaker 1: study is that when it comes to learning the habits
Speaker 1: needed to improve your well being, it pays to start
Speaker 1: as soon as possible.
Speaker 3: What you learn to do as a child really influences
Speaker 3: your happiness as an adult.
Speaker 1: Let's take one key happiness skill emotion regulation. That is,
Speaker 1: the ability to monitor and manage your feelings. We think
Speaker 1: of this as something that adults are supposed to do,
Speaker 1: but kids who are more skilled at regulating their emotions
Speaker 1: do better in school and have stronger family and peer relationships.
Speaker 1: Plus they're less likely to develop anxiety and depression later on.
Speaker 3: And so learning those skills when we're young makes a
Speaker 3: big difference in how well we manage the stresses of
Speaker 3: life that are always coming our way at every age.
Speaker 1: And Robert says that whenever big feelings do pop up,
Speaker 1: there are ways to deal with them that are surprisingly simple.
Speaker 3: Taking time out when you're upset or when something's really difficult.
Speaker 3: Kids can learn to take a few breaths to kind
Speaker 3: of calm down when they're really upset about something that
Speaker 3: helps them figure out how to cope better with a
Speaker 3: challenging situation.
Speaker 1: And teaching tips like these early on is pretty straightforward,
Speaker 1: especially the kids grow up in a home where the
Speaker 1: adults around them take these happiness strategies seriously.
Speaker 3: You know, family life is the first world that we
Speaker 3: come to know. We learn a lot about how to
Speaker 3: be happy from the people we grow up with, and
Speaker 3: so a lot of those models that we get from
Speaker 3: our parents, from our siblings, from other family members are
Speaker 3: really important.
Speaker 1: When it comes to soaking up the behaviors they observe
Speaker 1: around them. Kids are total sponges, and that means that
Speaker 1: children will model both the good and bad habits they
Speaker 1: see their caregiver as using. It's a truth of human
Speaker 1: psychology that Robert took to heart when raising his own family.
Speaker 1: He realized that if he wanted his kids to engage
Speaker 1: in the happiness boosting strategies he observed in his Harvard study,
Speaker 1: then he'd have to model those behaviors himself.
Speaker 3: And so what I began to see was that as
Speaker 3: a parent, the best thing I could give to my
Speaker 3: kids was a sense that what's really meaningful is your
Speaker 3: connections with other people and your engagement in activities you
Speaker 3: care about.
Speaker 1: But adults can't just pull a hey, do as I say.
Speaker 4: Move.
Speaker 1: We have to authentically follow the advice we're giving the
Speaker 1: young people around us.
Speaker 3: And a lot of what we communicate to our kids
Speaker 3: is emotional communication. It's not just what we say, it's
Speaker 3: the feelings that we convey in how we interact with
Speaker 3: our kids. So if we can come to our kids
Speaker 3: from more of a place of equanimity and self care,
Speaker 3: that's what our kids are going to learn from us.
Speaker 3: That's so valuable.
Speaker 1: We might long for the young people in our lives
Speaker 1: to be happy, but we don't always model the behaviors
Speaker 1: we want to see them adopt. We tend to neglect
Speaker 1: our own well being because we're too busy with our careers,
Speaker 1: or with parenting, or with caring for elders. But Robert
Speaker 1: says that's a mistake.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know this as a physician, that if
Speaker 3: you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care
Speaker 3: of other people very well. Physicians happen to be not
Speaker 3: very good at taking care of themselves. Parents can be
Speaker 3: not very good at taken care of themselves.
Speaker 1: But if emotional self care is something with which you
Speaker 1: perpetually struggle not to worry, the science shows you're not
Speaker 1: doomed to repeat the cycle endlessly.
Speaker 3: We used to think that once you got to be
Speaker 3: maybe in your twenties, you were cooked, you were done,
Speaker 3: your personality was set. And now we realize that there
Speaker 3: is so much growth and change that happens over adult life.
Speaker 1: The Harvard Study of Adult Development found that participants were
Speaker 1: able to build new friendships and learn new skills well
Speaker 1: into old age. And I've seen the same thing myself.
Speaker 1: I've gotten thank you notes from students of all ages
Speaker 1: telling me just how quickly they were able to put
Speaker 1: new happiness strategies into practice.
Speaker 3: And what that tells us is that there's always the
Speaker 3: possibility for new things happening in your life and for
Speaker 3: developing new new skills.
Speaker 1: And so if developing new skills is why you're listening,
Speaker 1: I'll get going and kick off this new season with
Speaker 1: one of Robert's favorite happiness boosting practices a change to
Speaker 1: our thought patterns that so simple everyone can try it,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to tell you all about it with
Speaker 1: the help of the folks at Sesame Street. By the way,
Speaker 1: did I mention that we have a letter of the day?
Speaker 5: The letter.
Speaker 1: And why is g today's letter of the day, Because
Speaker 1: the rest of the episode is about powerful thought change.
Speaker 1: It's called gratitude, the simple act of noticing all of
Speaker 1: life's blessings.
Speaker 3: If we can remember what's right, and particularly what's right
Speaker 3: about other people, it can really change our mindset and
Speaker 3: with that literally make us feel better and literally then
Speaker 3: make us physically healthier.
Speaker 1: As we go about our daily routines, moving from one
Speaker 1: task to the next, it's easy to switch into autopilot
Speaker 1: to forget all the things that are going right, which
Speaker 1: is bad enough, But an even bigger problem is that
Speaker 1: when some annoyance or hassle in life disrupts our routines,
Speaker 1: we definitely tend to notice that. So why do our
Speaker 1: minds zero in on the hassles in life? And how
Speaker 1: can we shift our focus to gratitude instead? Well, I've
Speaker 1: got just the Sesame Street friend to ask. She's someone
Speaker 1: who finds magic in the ordinary. Please welcome my fabulous
Speaker 1: fairy friend, Abby k Dabby. Abby, there you are. I
Speaker 1: love you. Poof him like that. You're already bringing the
Speaker 1: magic to our podcast today. Hi, doctor Lori, h Abby,
Speaker 1: I noticed that your face is all scrunched up and
Speaker 1: that your arms are crossed. How are you feeling not
Speaker 1: so happy? Nothing's going right today? Ah? So you're feeling grumpy?
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm grumpy.
Speaker 6: It started when I wanted a banana with my breakfast,
Speaker 6: but my little brother Rudy.
Speaker 2: Ate the last one.
Speaker 6: He didn't even know I wanted it. But still no
Speaker 6: banana for me.
Speaker 2: And then when I.
Speaker 6: Was getting dressed, I couldn't wear my favorite sparkle socks.
Speaker 2: Do you know why Why?
Speaker 6: Because they were in the dirty, stinky laundry.
Speaker 1: Sounds like you're having a rough morning.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I can't find my lovey.
Speaker 2: Wait have you seen him, doctor Lorie.
Speaker 6: He's a frog prince and he's got a tiny crown
Speaker 6: and there's a little grape jelly on his belly.
Speaker 1: No, Abby, I haven't seen him. See.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm grumpy.
Speaker 1: I understand why you're feeling grumpy, Abby. That can happen
Speaker 1: when things don't go the way you expected. Yeah, how
Speaker 1: about we try on activity to help you feel a
Speaker 1: bit better. I think you'll like it. It's magical.
Speaker 2: Magic.
Speaker 6: I'll use my magic to make my grumpies go away.
Speaker 1: Wait, Abby, that's not what I meant. I was actually
Speaker 1: talking about gratitude.
Speaker 2: Okay, here goes.
Speaker 6: Let me see I'm feeling grumpy today. Come on, magic
Speaker 6: and pop it away, zippity.
Speaker 4: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, okay, I think this is a
Speaker 1: good time for a break. The happiness will be right back. Yikes,
Speaker 1: it's okay, Abby, we'll get to the bottom of this.
Speaker 5: We're back and things are.
Speaker 1: Doctlorry bananas bananas? Yeah, I guess things are bananas. Wa Abby,
Speaker 1: Why are your bananas all over the studio?
Speaker 2: It's making things worse. Oh it's itchy.
Speaker 1: What's itchy?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: My sparkly socks.
Speaker 6: They're on my feet now where they're so itchy and
Speaker 6: scratchy old scratch.
Speaker 2: Oh they're so.
Speaker 1: Abby. I don't mean to interrupt, but is that a
Speaker 1: frog in the studio?
Speaker 3: Prince?
Speaker 2: Doctor Lori, it's my lovey prince. I found him.
Speaker 1: That's great, But isn't he supposed to be a stuffed animal?
Speaker 5: Frog?
Speaker 6: Magic mistake. Ohoy, better go catch that frog. Oh I
Speaker 6: wish he sucks. Weren't so etchy, prince? Come on, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 6: don't you do that.
Speaker 2: No, don't go do that, door prince.
Speaker 1: And there she goes. Well, as you can tell, we're
Speaker 1: still a bit caught up in the hassles this morning.
Speaker 1: So while Abby hops off to catch her frog, I
Speaker 1: think now is a good time to welcome our next guest.
Speaker 1: A champion of noticing the good things in life.
Speaker 4: I was walking across our campus this morning and I
Speaker 4: was just appreciating the huge old trees on our campus
Speaker 4: and just they just were bringing me this joy.
Speaker 1: Sarah Aljo is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at
Speaker 1: the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Sarah is
Speaker 1: an academic expert on the science of gratitude, but she's
Speaker 1: also skilled at noticing good things in her own life,
Speaker 1: whether those things are the trees she sees on her
Speaker 1: commute to work or all the kind things people in
Speaker 1: her life have done.
Speaker 4: My sister sent me a text this morning and it
Speaker 4: was like perfectly timed. I was like, Ah, she's so great.
Speaker 4: That's what I love about her, you know, right on time.
Speaker 1: But Sarah admits that focusing on the blessings in life
Speaker 1: doesn't always come naturally for us.
Speaker 4: There are so many opportunities for negativity.
Speaker 1: Our minds spontaneously gravity to all of life's hassles. Those
Speaker 1: missing socks and lost stuffed animals tend to naturally capture
Speaker 1: our attention. It's a tendency the psychologists call the negativity bias,
Speaker 1: and the negativity bias feeds on itself. Focusing on the
Speaker 1: hassles can become the vicious cycle, one that makes us
Speaker 1: feel grumpy but also has a negative impact on the
Speaker 1: people around us.
Speaker 4: If you step back and think about it, other people's
Speaker 4: emotions affect us all the time, and so that means
Speaker 4: that our emotions affect other people too, and so so
Speaker 4: it really can spill out and spread.
Speaker 1: Can we prevent the storm of negativity from hurting us
Speaker 1: and the people we care about? We need a little
Speaker 1: dose of g for gratitude. We need to notice the
Speaker 1: good stuff in life. But how do we do that
Speaker 1: when everything feels like it's going wrong? Sarah says the
Speaker 1: first step is just a hit pause.
Speaker 4: And that's really hard for people to do, especially when
Speaker 4: it feels like a cyclone of really bad stuff happening.
Speaker 1: Pausing allows us to redirect our attention. It helps us
Speaker 1: divert our minds from all the stuff that's going wrong,
Speaker 1: so we can ask the question, what's going right?
Speaker 4: Okay, well wait, there was something good today? What was
Speaker 4: the good thing? You know? What are it just like
Speaker 4: right in this moment? What is one thing that I appreciate?
Speaker 1: And that gets us to the next step of experiencing
Speaker 1: gratitude noticing.
Speaker 4: If we don't notice, there's no gratitude. That's the bottom line.
Speaker 4: If you have any chance, I guess of increasing your gratitude,
Speaker 4: it has to be through just taking a moment to notice.
Speaker 1: It can often be hard, especially for kids, to take
Speaker 1: a breath and notice the blessings that are out there,
Speaker 1: and that, Sarah says, is where parents come in. They
Speaker 1: can help kids find the good stuff. Of course, that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean dismissing or diminishing the negative stuff that someone
Speaker 1: is experiencing. A cyclone of bad things may really be
Speaker 1: happening and probably doesn't feel all that good, but we
Speaker 1: can still point out some stuff that's going well in
Speaker 1: the midst of a bad situation. If we stop to
Speaker 1: take notice Feeling thankful makes us happier and less stressed
Speaker 1: in the moment. It also comes with a host of
Speaker 1: longer psychological benefits. People who self report experiencing gratitude are
Speaker 1: more satisfied with life and less depressed. They sleep better
Speaker 1: and have better connections with the people they care about.
Speaker 4: And that's actually one of the reasons that I've been
Speaker 4: studying gratitude for so long is that it can really
Speaker 4: be so good for shoring up our relationships.
Speaker 1: Sarah's research has focused a lot on the social benefits
Speaker 1: of gratitude, especially those that come from acknowledging the nice
Speaker 1: things that people do for us, like Sarah did earlier
Speaker 1: with her sister's well timed text message.
Speaker 4: You know what's going to happen. I'm going to call
Speaker 4: her this weekend. Because of that that feeling of gratitude.
Speaker 1: Gratitude often causes virtuous cycles like this. Feeling thankful prompts
Speaker 1: us to act in ways that increase the bonds we
Speaker 1: have with other people. It's why Sarah proposed what she
Speaker 1: calls the find, remind and bind theory. The theory goes
Speaker 1: something like this, when we take time to find examples
Speaker 1: of the nice things that people do for us. That
Speaker 1: can remind us that we matter to the people around us.
Speaker 4: As soon as we notice that someone's done something nice
Speaker 4: for us, it can really draw attention to the fact
Speaker 4: that we have people in our lives who pay attention
Speaker 4: to us and care.
Speaker 1: For us, and that reminder that we matter can prompt
Speaker 1: us to better bind to the people we love.
Speaker 4: Gratitude really motivates us to make sure that those people
Speaker 4: who just made us feel good really understand that we
Speaker 4: like them too.
Speaker 1: Sarah's research has shown that gratitude can also lead to
Speaker 1: more pro social behavior. It motivates us to spontaneously do
Speaker 1: kind things for the people we love.
Speaker 4: And those are just the kind of thing that we
Speaker 4: want in our families, right, is to really have each
Speaker 4: other's backs.
Speaker 1: It's one of the reasons that Sarah thanks all families
Speaker 1: need a little more gratitude, not just noticing the world
Speaker 1: around them, but specifically noticing the good deeds that one
Speaker 1: relative might do for another.
Speaker 4: And it does take a little bit of a commitment,
Speaker 4: but one of the nice things about family is that
Speaker 4: we can kind of reinforce those opportunities through ritual.
Speaker 1: For example, that might be parents introducing a gratitude practice
Speaker 1: at dinner before we eat, what's one thing that went
Speaker 1: well today? Or was there someone who did something kind
Speaker 1: for you today. Parents can also model these practices themselves.
Speaker 1: If your child did something that you appreciated, even if
Speaker 1: it was something they were kind of supposed to do anyway,
Speaker 1: take time to notice and appreciate that behavior. Sarah's work
Speaker 1: shows that such acts of gratitude won't just feel good.
Speaker 1: They can also lead to an upward spiral that makes
Speaker 1: it easier for other family members to notice blessings too.
Speaker 4: Parents have an opportunity, I think, to help lay the
Speaker 4: groundwork for helping kids learn how to cultivate gratitude in
Speaker 4: their lives.
Speaker 1: When we get back from the break, we'll learn other
Speaker 1: practical ways we can put these gratitude strategies into effect
Speaker 1: even during times that are particularly stressful or just frustrating.
Speaker 1: In itchy and uh ribbety as it were, Ibby and
Speaker 1: I and uh maybe Prince. I'm not sure we'll be
Speaker 1: back after the break. Welcome back to the studio where
Speaker 1: the magic has stopped. All is in order. I'm here
Speaker 1: with Abby and I'm happy to report her spell has
Speaker 1: been fixed.
Speaker 6: No bananas, no witchy socks. And no real frogs.
Speaker 2: But I'm still grumpy.
Speaker 6: I'm happy that my spell is fixed, but why did
Speaker 6: it get all messed up in the first place.
Speaker 1: Sounds like today had some ups like fixing your spell,
Speaker 1: and some downs like well everything going wrong this morning?
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: But instead of focusing on the ups, you're still stuck
Speaker 1: on the downs, on what the grown ups might call
Speaker 1: the hassles.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to be grumpy anymore.
Speaker 1: I think I know something that might help, and I'm
Speaker 1: telling you it really is magical.
Speaker 6: Huh, But I tried that already. Magic didn't fix my grumpy.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a different kind of magic, one that doesn't
Speaker 1: include any spells or ones. I'm talking about the magic
Speaker 1: of gratitude.
Speaker 2: Gratitude.
Speaker 1: What's that Gratitude is when we see and notice things
Speaker 1: that make us feel happy. The ups like how I'm
Speaker 1: grateful that I get to make a new episode of
Speaker 1: my podcast today, or how I'm grateful I get to
Speaker 1: see a really cool tree on my walk this morning.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, trees are the best.
Speaker 1: When we notice what we're grateful for, it can help
Speaker 1: us get through the day. Noticing and appreciating the things
Speaker 1: around us can make us feel happier. Why don't you
Speaker 1: give it a try. What's something you're grateful for?
Speaker 2: Habby huh, well, I think I need a little help.
Speaker 1: Of course, that's what I'm here for. What's something you
Speaker 1: can see that makes you feel happy?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 6: I see a plant, that little green one over there
Speaker 6: in that yellow pot.
Speaker 2: I got one just like that in my garden.
Speaker 6: Oh. I love being in my garden with my plant
Speaker 6: and flower friends.
Speaker 1: It's great. Abby nature is something to be grateful for. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's try again. What do you hear?
Speaker 6: Uh? Oh, I hear birdie chirps. That's a bird's wave
Speaker 6: saying hi.
Speaker 2: Oh. Aren't animals magicals?
Speaker 3: They are?
Speaker 1: See, you're grateful for animals. How about one more? What
Speaker 1: something you can touch?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Oh, oh, my lovely prince.
Speaker 6: I'm grateful I can give him a big hug whenever
Speaker 6: I need, like now. Oh, and I'm grateful that he's
Speaker 6: not a real frog.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm also grateful for that last one. But see,
Speaker 1: I'll be by looking around and using your senses, you
Speaker 1: came up with three wonderful things to be grateful for.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and if I keep looking around, I'll be grateful
Speaker 6: about even more things.
Speaker 2: And then poof my grumpy day will really go away.
Speaker 2: Oh great idea, doctor Lorie.
Speaker 6: I gotta find more things to be grateful for, like
Speaker 6: my sneakers, Oh in these cool microphones.
Speaker 2: Oh and this shiny door handle, and oh what's over there?
Speaker 2: I think I'm grateful over there.
Speaker 1: Wait, Abby, that's not exactly what I meant. And there
Speaker 1: she goes again. What I was trying to tell Abby
Speaker 1: before she zipped out is that we can also be
Speaker 1: grateful for people. As psychologist Sarah Aljo explained, noticing and
Speaker 1: appreciating the kindness of others can increase our sense of
Speaker 1: belonging and our happiness. And this positive feeling that someone
Speaker 1: has our back can be especially important when we're facing
Speaker 1: tough times, and not just the missing sparkly sock mornings,
Speaker 1: but those times that truly challenge us to the core.
Speaker 1: So while we wait for Abby to come back, let's
Speaker 1: chat with someone who's observed the way that gratitude can
Speaker 1: increase connection within families and communities during the worst of times.
Speaker 7: Being grateful is looking at the situation and the experience
Speaker 7: for what it is.
Speaker 1: This is rossio glarsa.
Speaker 7: It is looking at the challenge and acknowledging that there
Speaker 7: are challenges, they're difficulties, but also looking at the good,
Speaker 7: looking at the kindness, looking at the good things that
Speaker 7: are happening around us, not as a way of avoiding
Speaker 7: the challenge, but as a way of taking a break
Speaker 7: and energizing ourselves to be able to cope with the
Speaker 7: challenges and the difficulties.
Speaker 1: Rossio is the vice president of SESAME Workshop Social Impact Division,
Speaker 1: a group that works to help families who are going
Speaker 1: through stressful situations.
Speaker 7: So those are not only the stressors of everyday life,
Speaker 7: but they're huge stressors. We're talking about substance abuse, homelessness, hunger,
Speaker 7: community violence. I mean, there's so many stressors that we're
Speaker 7: supporting them through.
Speaker 1: To face challenges as complex as these, Rossio says that
Speaker 1: families need to go back to the basics. They need
Speaker 1: simple and easy to remember strategies to take care of themselves.
Speaker 7: And many of them do use gratitude as that strategy.
Speaker 1: The first benefit gratitude provides in tough times is a
Speaker 1: much needed infusion of positive emotion, which is important because
Speaker 1: we definitely need positivity and stuff health care when we're
Speaker 1: facing challenges.
Speaker 7: Leeds sometimes think that being strong is pushing through difficulties, right,
Speaker 7: I just have to get through this and I'm just
Speaker 7: going to face it. But we all also need times
Speaker 7: to energize, and gratitude is one of those strategies that
Speaker 7: help us do that, and help us do that in
Speaker 7: a very practical way.
Speaker 1: But the second benefit gratitude provides is the one I
Speaker 1: was trying to tell Abby about. Feeling grateful for other
Speaker 1: people can help to reduce our sense of loneliness.
Speaker 7: One of the biggest challenges for families when they're going
Speaker 7: through big difficulties is feeling alone, is really feeling isolated.
Speaker 1: Remember doctor Sarah al Jo's fine remind and bind idea.
Speaker 1: Noticing the blessings that other people provide can make us
Speaker 1: feel more connected, and during challenging times, that can remind
Speaker 1: us of all the friends and family members who really
Speaker 1: do have our backs.
Speaker 7: That's when you start discovering the people around you that
Speaker 7: are there for you.
Speaker 1: When Rocillo was developing a set of Sesame workshop materials
Speaker 1: dealing with she met many families who'd lost someone important,
Speaker 1: But rather than dwelling just on their loss, she noticed
Speaker 1: that some families tended to focus on the folks who'd
Speaker 1: helped out, people who showed up to watch their kids
Speaker 1: or help with dinner.
Speaker 7: Even though there's really difficult moments in our lives, there's
Speaker 7: always goodness and kindness around us.
Speaker 1: Rossillo was surprised by the resilience of these grateful families
Speaker 1: and just how often they were able to notice good
Speaker 1: things and particularly the good people in the midst of
Speaker 1: their grief.
Speaker 7: And so it was really special because it was gratitude
Speaker 7: that they had in the moment, but also this collective
Speaker 7: sense of oh, this happened to me too. I wasn't
Speaker 7: alone in having this experience.
Speaker 1: But acknowledging the good things in life when you're at
Speaker 1: your lowest point isn't easy. We can feel like we're
Speaker 1: drowning in sorrow, and Rossillo says that's why it's so
Speaker 1: important to learn this skill of gratitude as early as
Speaker 1: we can. The more we practice finding blessings when things
Speaker 1: are going smoothly, the easier it'll be to appreciate blessings
Speaker 1: when times are much tougher, which is one of the
Speaker 1: reasons Sesame Workshop is so focused on teaching gratitude, not
Speaker 1: just to parents and caregivers, but to kids too.
Speaker 7: Being able to have gratitude as part of your toolkit
Speaker 7: from the very beginning. Something that becomes just part of
Speaker 7: the things that you do that we just practice is
Speaker 7: something that we can give them for the rest of
Speaker 7: their lives.
Speaker 1: And so Rosso has some advice, not just for folks
Speaker 1: currently navigating tough times, but for anyone who wants to
Speaker 1: make sure their resilient skills are sharpened before things get tough.
Speaker 7: Let's practice it, let's trive be grateful.
Speaker 1: Oh, Abby, there you are.
Speaker 2: Hi, doctor Laurie.
Speaker 6: I went all around Sesame Street finding things to be
Speaker 6: grateful for, the basketball hoop near the community center and
Speaker 6: Alma blowing bubbles and me popping them like this.
Speaker 1: That's great, Abby, And how do you feel?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 6: I was feeling better, but then I saw stinky sawking
Speaker 6: out of oscars can.
Speaker 1: Sounds about right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And it made me think about my dirty sparkly
Speaker 6: socks and then how my magic made them all itchy,
Speaker 6: and well I felt grumpy again. I thought gratitude was magic.
Speaker 6: Wasn't it supposed to make all my grumpies go away?
Speaker 1: Gratitude is magic And just like how you practice your
Speaker 1: magic as a fairy in training, you have to practice
Speaker 1: gratitude too. And parents for kids out there without magic
Speaker 1: wands and wings. They can think of it like brushing
Speaker 1: their teeth.
Speaker 6: Oh, I brush my teeth too, in the morning and
Speaker 6: at nine, right, Brushing your teeth is part of your
Speaker 6: routine that you do every day.
Speaker 1: Gratitude is something you can add to your routine too,
Speaker 1: I can't yep. By practicing gratitude a little every day,
Speaker 1: you'll start to notice more and more things you're grateful for,
Speaker 1: and that'll help you feel happy. And that's the magical part.
Speaker 2: Oh, I get it now.
Speaker 6: It gets a little more magical every day the more
Speaker 6: you practice, like learning to tie your shoes, oh, or
Speaker 6: doing it to turn a sandwich into a helicopter.
Speaker 1: Your sandwich into a what a helicopter, you.
Speaker 2: Know, for when you need a yummy lunch that travels well.
Speaker 1: Right, of course, maybe you can make me one someday.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'd love to.
Speaker 6: I just gotta keep on practicing that spell. It takes
Speaker 6: a lot of tries to turn a pickle slice into
Speaker 6: a propeller.
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm sure. But speaking of practice, I've got something
Speaker 1: we can practice together. Here are some things you can
Speaker 1: say each and every day to help you appreciate the
Speaker 1: things and the people around you are you ready to try?
Speaker 2: Ready?
Speaker 1: Okay? Who's one of your favorite people around?
Speaker 2: Oohe my brother Rudy. Great.
Speaker 1: Now think about Rudy and finish this sentence. Rudy is
Speaker 1: kind to me when he Rudy is kind.
Speaker 6: To me when he oh oh, when he helps me
Speaker 6: in the garden. He helps me water the flowers and
Speaker 6: feed the birdies. And when we're done, we make mud
Speaker 6: castles together. Oh, playing with my brother.
Speaker 1: See doesn't it feel nice to be grateful for family?
Speaker 1: And we can be grateful for friends too.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, uh, I'm grateful for all my friends Emma
Speaker 6: and Big Bird and Rosita and even.
Speaker 1: Oscar, Oscar the Grouch. That's a fun gratitude challenge. Can
Speaker 1: you think of a time when Oscar was kind? Ah,
Speaker 1: that's easy, it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Oscar is kind when he takes care of his pet worm, Slimy.
Speaker 2: Oh, he just loves that little worm.
Speaker 1: See. We can even be grateful for grouches who no.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for practicing gratitude with me, Abby, I
Speaker 1: think that's our show.
Speaker 6: Well wait, wait, wait, I got one more thing I'm
Speaker 6: grateful for. What's that for learning a new kind of magic,
Speaker 6: the magic of gratitude? And for you, Doctor Lorie, for
Speaker 6: teaching it to me.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, Abby Twinkloud. In the next episode of this
Speaker 1: special collaboration are Sesame Street Friends will help us tackle
Speaker 1: the challenge of how we can better manage our big feelings.
Speaker 1: Of course, Sesame Street is the place where sunny days
Speaker 1: sweep the clouds away. But when I sat down to
Speaker 1: chat with the next episode's guest, Big Bird, the street
Speaker 1: was not so sunny. Isn't that right, Big Bird?
Speaker 2: That's right, Doctor Lorie.
Speaker 3: I was excited to roller skate around Sesame Street today,
Speaker 3: but now it's all rainy and wet outside and I
Speaker 3: can't skate anymore.
Speaker 1: What strategies should we use when our plans get thwarted
Speaker 1: and big feelings like disappointment or even sadness and anger
Speaker 1: come up? To find out? Be sure to come back
Speaker 1: for our next special Sesame Street episode, all about feelings.
Speaker 2: I feel excited to hear it.
Speaker 1: Me too, Big Bird, Me too. The Happiness Lab is
Speaker 1: co written and produced by Ryan Dilley. Our original music
Speaker 1: was composed by Zachary Silver, with additional scoring, mixing and
Speaker 1: mastering by Evan Viola. Jess Shane and Alice Fines offer
Speaker 1: additional production support. We'd like to thank the amazing Sesame
Speaker 1: Street puppeteers Leslie Carrera, Rudolph Ryan Dylan, Eric Jacobson and
Speaker 1: Matt Vogel, and special thank yous to the folks over
Speaker 1: at Sesame Workshop, Emily Bandy, Alissa Chihi, Gabriella Dejannaro, Jessica Salvo, Mindy, Fila,
Speaker 1: Rossio Galarsa, Akeimi Gibson, Ivan Gonzalez, Karen Leibovich, Rosemary Trulio,
Speaker 1: Ka Wilson Stallings and Steve Youngwood. Special thanks to my agent,
Speaker 1: Ben Davis and all of the Pushkin prew The Happiness
Speaker 1: Lab is brought to you by Pushkin Industries. Any Doctor
Speaker 1: Laurie Santos