1
00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:29,276
Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hello, Hello, Hello, let's get started. If you're a

2
00:00:29,276 --> 00:00:31,636
Speaker 1: fan of The Happiness Lab, you probably know the show's

3
00:00:31,636 --> 00:00:35,076
Speaker 1: origin story. As a college professor, I started worrying about

4
00:00:35,116 --> 00:00:37,196
Speaker 1: the levels of stress and anxiety I was seeing in

5
00:00:37,196 --> 00:00:40,796
Speaker 1: my students welcome everybody to psychology and the good life.

6
00:00:40,836 --> 00:00:42,796
Speaker 1: So I developed a class on the science of Happiness.

7
00:00:42,796 --> 00:00:44,996
Speaker 1: That we're going to start by talking about why I'm

8
00:00:44,996 --> 00:00:46,956
Speaker 1: teaching this class in the first place. Of course, designed

9
00:00:46,996 --> 00:00:49,756
Speaker 1: to teach my students research based strategies that they could

10
00:00:49,796 --> 00:00:52,836
Speaker 1: use to navigate tough times, improve their emotional health, and

11
00:00:52,876 --> 00:00:56,716
Speaker 1: feel happier. It became Yale's most popular class ever. I'm

12
00:00:56,996 --> 00:00:59,196
Speaker 1: a little bit surprised to see as many of you

13
00:00:59,396 --> 00:01:01,236
Speaker 1: are here as are here, But that's great and is

14
00:01:01,276 --> 00:01:04,996
Speaker 1: now offered both free online and other universities around the world.

15
00:01:05,156 --> 00:01:08,116
Speaker 1: And the science shows that learning these happiness strategies really

16
00:01:08,116 --> 00:01:11,036
Speaker 1: does help. Several new studies have found that students who

17
00:01:11,156 --> 00:01:14,036
Speaker 1: learned the tips I teach show significant improvements in their

18
00:01:14,076 --> 00:01:16,956
Speaker 1: overall well being. But there is one thing about learning

19
00:01:16,956 --> 00:01:19,276
Speaker 1: all these happiness tips that makes my students feel a

20
00:01:19,276 --> 00:01:22,276
Speaker 1: little frustrated. I'm so thankful to have learned all these

21
00:01:22,276 --> 00:01:25,196
Speaker 1: helpful strategies. A student will always say, but I really

22
00:01:25,436 --> 00:01:28,196
Speaker 1: really wish I had learned this stuff earlier, and believe me,

23
00:01:28,396 --> 00:01:32,276
Speaker 1: I totally get that frustration. Nowadays, I'm an expert on happiness,

24
00:01:32,516 --> 00:01:34,876
Speaker 1: but I didn't learn these tips until my fourth decade.

25
00:01:35,476 --> 00:01:38,276
Speaker 1: My life would have been way less stressful and emotionally

26
00:01:38,316 --> 00:01:42,316
Speaker 1: fraught if I had all these happiness habits earlier. Honestly,

27
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,356
Speaker 1: if I had a time machine, I'd go back to

28
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,276
Speaker 1: the early eighties, find my kid's self and teach her

29
00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:50,036
Speaker 1: exactly the same things that I tell my students now.

30
00:01:50,716 --> 00:01:53,196
Speaker 1: You see, it doesn't matter if you're three, twenty three

31
00:01:53,396 --> 00:01:56,316
Speaker 1: or one hundred and three. The same happiness principles apply.

32
00:01:56,836 --> 00:01:59,636
Speaker 1: You may have different problems in priorities at different stages

33
00:01:59,676 --> 00:02:02,036
Speaker 1: of your life, but whether you're in school, at work,

34
00:02:02,196 --> 00:02:05,796
Speaker 1: raising a family, or in retirement, the same core ideas hold.

35
00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:08,236
Speaker 1: And that's why I wish I was able to teach

36
00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:11,156
Speaker 1: kid Laurie all these ideas back in the day, though

37
00:02:11,196 --> 00:02:14,596
Speaker 1: admittedly how I'd explain these happiness strategies to her would

38
00:02:14,596 --> 00:02:17,316
Speaker 1: be a little different. I'd probably enlist the help of

39
00:02:17,356 --> 00:02:19,756
Speaker 1: some folks who are more fun and relatable.

40
00:02:20,036 --> 00:02:24,396
Speaker 2: That's us high up friends, Hello everybody.

41
00:02:26,836 --> 00:02:29,556
Speaker 1: These were the real tutors that young Laurie had growing up.

42
00:02:29,956 --> 00:02:32,956
Speaker 1: These monsters and fairies and giant yellow birds are great

43
00:02:32,956 --> 00:02:36,196
Speaker 1: at passing along important life lessons to kids while also

44
00:02:36,276 --> 00:02:39,436
Speaker 1: making them feel happier, and they've been doing it for

45
00:02:39,516 --> 00:02:42,476
Speaker 1: over fifty years. So in honor of my younger self,

46
00:02:42,556 --> 00:02:45,676
Speaker 1: the Happiness Lab is partnering up with Sesame Workshop, the

47
00:02:45,756 --> 00:02:50,316
Speaker 1: nonprofit that creates Sesame Street. Over the next few episodes,

48
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:54,276
Speaker 1: we'll explore a series of classic happiness boosting strategies, ones

49
00:02:54,316 --> 00:02:57,076
Speaker 1: that are so simple even little kids can use them.

50
00:02:57,356 --> 00:03:00,116
Speaker 1: But these episodes aren't just for kids. They're for you,

51
00:03:00,396 --> 00:03:03,036
Speaker 1: because we all need quick strategies to help us feel

52
00:03:03,036 --> 00:03:05,436
Speaker 1: better when times get tough, and what better way to

53
00:03:05,516 --> 00:03:08,116
Speaker 1: learn them than with the added nostalgia of a little

54
00:03:08,156 --> 00:03:09,116
Speaker 1: Sesame Street fund.

55
00:03:09,476 --> 00:03:13,476
Speaker 2: Let's go, Doctor Laurie. Oh, I am so excited. This

56
00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:14,996
Speaker 2: is gonna be so magical.

57
00:03:16,436 --> 00:03:19,116
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, friends and Abby. I'll be seeing you

58
00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:21,996
Speaker 1: a little later to talk about this episode's big happiness

59
00:03:21,996 --> 00:03:28,076
Speaker 1: topic tell me more. But before we get started, I

60
00:03:28,116 --> 00:03:30,796
Speaker 1: wanted to explore why it's never too early or too

61
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:34,036
Speaker 1: late to start learning the happiness essentials. So I've tagged

62
00:03:34,036 --> 00:03:37,156
Speaker 1: in the expert on charting well being across a lifetime.

63
00:03:37,276 --> 00:03:41,236
Speaker 3: I adored Sesame Street, like Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch.

64
00:03:41,396 --> 00:03:43,516
Speaker 3: I just adored Sesame Street.

65
00:03:43,636 --> 00:03:46,956
Speaker 1: This is Harvard Medical School professor and fellow Sesame Street fan,

66
00:03:47,276 --> 00:03:48,116
Speaker 1: Robert Waldinger.

67
00:03:48,196 --> 00:03:50,676
Speaker 3: I would sit there with my kids on the couch

68
00:03:50,756 --> 00:03:53,796
Speaker 3: watching Sesame Student. I'd be the one laughing the hardest.

69
00:03:54,076 --> 00:03:57,556
Speaker 1: Robert has a rather unique academic pedigree. He's a psychiatrist,

70
00:03:57,636 --> 00:03:58,916
Speaker 1: a best selling author.

71
00:03:58,876 --> 00:04:03,036
Speaker 3: And I direct the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which

72
00:04:03,156 --> 00:04:07,516
Speaker 3: is the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.

73
00:04:07,756 --> 00:04:10,516
Speaker 1: The study tracks of physical and mental health of people

74
00:04:10,676 --> 00:04:14,076
Speaker 1: across decades. It started in the late nineteen thirties when

75
00:04:14,116 --> 00:04:17,356
Speaker 1: researchers began following the lives of one cohort of Harvard

76
00:04:17,396 --> 00:04:20,716
Speaker 1: sophomores and then another group of inner city teams from Boston.

77
00:04:21,156 --> 00:04:24,076
Speaker 1: Robert and his predecessors have followed these men as well

78
00:04:24,116 --> 00:04:27,076
Speaker 1: as their partners and their children for over eighty years.

79
00:04:27,316 --> 00:04:31,876
Speaker 3: And what we studied was the great big themes of life,

80
00:04:32,156 --> 00:04:36,996
Speaker 3: which are mental health, physical health, work, life relationships, and

81
00:04:37,036 --> 00:04:39,956
Speaker 3: then as people got older, aging and retirement.

82
00:04:40,156 --> 00:04:43,436
Speaker 1: This mega experiment has now provided pretty much the definitive

83
00:04:43,476 --> 00:04:45,876
Speaker 1: word on the stuff that matters for achieving a healthier,

84
00:04:45,996 --> 00:04:49,436
Speaker 1: happier life and spoiler alert. The findings include lots of

85
00:04:49,476 --> 00:04:52,396
Speaker 1: the strategies we talk about on this podcast, like making

86
00:04:52,436 --> 00:04:55,356
Speaker 1: sure you invest in relationships, develop a sense of purpose,

87
00:04:55,676 --> 00:04:57,996
Speaker 1: and avoid the happiness traps that come with striving for

88
00:04:58,116 --> 00:05:01,436
Speaker 1: money and possessions. But another big message of the Harvard

89
00:05:01,436 --> 00:05:03,636
Speaker 1: study is that when it comes to learning the habits

90
00:05:03,676 --> 00:05:06,356
Speaker 1: needed to improve your well being, it pays to start

91
00:05:06,476 --> 00:05:07,556
Speaker 1: as soon as possible.

92
00:05:07,716 --> 00:05:11,636
Speaker 3: What you learn to do as a child really influences

93
00:05:11,716 --> 00:05:13,196
Speaker 3: your happiness as an adult.

94
00:05:13,596 --> 00:05:17,436
Speaker 1: Let's take one key happiness skill emotion regulation. That is,

95
00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:20,756
Speaker 1: the ability to monitor and manage your feelings. We think

96
00:05:20,836 --> 00:05:22,836
Speaker 1: of this as something that adults are supposed to do,

97
00:05:23,196 --> 00:05:25,796
Speaker 1: but kids who are more skilled at regulating their emotions

98
00:05:25,956 --> 00:05:29,556
Speaker 1: do better in school and have stronger family and peer relationships.

99
00:05:29,756 --> 00:05:33,356
Speaker 1: Plus they're less likely to develop anxiety and depression later on.

100
00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:36,276
Speaker 3: And so learning those skills when we're young makes a

101
00:05:36,316 --> 00:05:40,556
Speaker 3: big difference in how well we manage the stresses of

102
00:05:40,596 --> 00:05:43,156
Speaker 3: life that are always coming our way at every age.

103
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,796
Speaker 1: And Robert says that whenever big feelings do pop up,

104
00:05:45,956 --> 00:05:48,556
Speaker 1: there are ways to deal with them that are surprisingly simple.

105
00:05:48,876 --> 00:05:54,316
Speaker 3: Taking time out when you're upset or when something's really difficult.

106
00:05:54,556 --> 00:05:58,396
Speaker 3: Kids can learn to take a few breaths to kind

107
00:05:58,396 --> 00:06:01,956
Speaker 3: of calm down when they're really upset about something that

108
00:06:02,156 --> 00:06:05,916
Speaker 3: helps them figure out how to cope better with a

109
00:06:05,996 --> 00:06:07,156
Speaker 3: challenging situation.

110
00:06:07,676 --> 00:06:10,636
Speaker 1: And teaching tips like these early on is pretty straightforward,

111
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,156
Speaker 1: especially the kids grow up in a home where the

112
00:06:13,156 --> 00:06:16,196
Speaker 1: adults around them take these happiness strategies seriously.

113
00:06:16,356 --> 00:06:19,716
Speaker 3: You know, family life is the first world that we

114
00:06:19,836 --> 00:06:22,796
Speaker 3: come to know. We learn a lot about how to

115
00:06:22,876 --> 00:06:26,116
Speaker 3: be happy from the people we grow up with, and

116
00:06:26,196 --> 00:06:30,276
Speaker 3: so a lot of those models that we get from

117
00:06:30,316 --> 00:06:33,716
Speaker 3: our parents, from our siblings, from other family members are

118
00:06:33,796 --> 00:06:35,236
Speaker 3: really important.

119
00:06:34,796 --> 00:06:36,916
Speaker 1: When it comes to soaking up the behaviors they observe

120
00:06:36,956 --> 00:06:40,276
Speaker 1: around them. Kids are total sponges, and that means that

121
00:06:40,396 --> 00:06:43,316
Speaker 1: children will model both the good and bad habits they

122
00:06:43,316 --> 00:06:45,916
Speaker 1: see their caregiver as using. It's a truth of human

123
00:06:45,956 --> 00:06:48,996
Speaker 1: psychology that Robert took to heart when raising his own family.

124
00:06:49,516 --> 00:06:51,756
Speaker 1: He realized that if he wanted his kids to engage

125
00:06:51,756 --> 00:06:54,756
Speaker 1: in the happiness boosting strategies he observed in his Harvard study,

126
00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:57,556
Speaker 1: then he'd have to model those behaviors himself.

127
00:06:57,796 --> 00:07:00,316
Speaker 3: And so what I began to see was that as

128
00:07:00,356 --> 00:07:02,956
Speaker 3: a parent, the best thing I could give to my

129
00:07:03,116 --> 00:07:08,196
Speaker 3: kids was a sense that what's really meaningful is your

130
00:07:08,236 --> 00:07:12,876
Speaker 3: connections with other people and your engagement in activities you

131
00:07:12,956 --> 00:07:13,436
Speaker 3: care about.

132
00:07:13,716 --> 00:07:16,236
Speaker 1: But adults can't just pull a hey, do as I say.

133
00:07:16,276 --> 00:07:16,516
Speaker 4: Move.

134
00:07:17,116 --> 00:07:19,796
Speaker 1: We have to authentically follow the advice we're giving the

135
00:07:19,836 --> 00:07:20,956
Speaker 1: young people around us.

136
00:07:21,116 --> 00:07:23,676
Speaker 3: And a lot of what we communicate to our kids

137
00:07:24,196 --> 00:07:27,916
Speaker 3: is emotional communication. It's not just what we say, it's

138
00:07:27,996 --> 00:07:32,156
Speaker 3: the feelings that we convey in how we interact with

139
00:07:32,196 --> 00:07:34,476
Speaker 3: our kids. So if we can come to our kids

140
00:07:34,636 --> 00:07:38,596
Speaker 3: from more of a place of equanimity and self care,

141
00:07:39,116 --> 00:07:41,356
Speaker 3: that's what our kids are going to learn from us.

142
00:07:41,516 --> 00:07:42,636
Speaker 3: That's so valuable.

143
00:07:43,316 --> 00:07:45,396
Speaker 1: We might long for the young people in our lives

144
00:07:45,396 --> 00:07:48,116
Speaker 1: to be happy, but we don't always model the behaviors

145
00:07:48,156 --> 00:07:50,636
Speaker 1: we want to see them adopt. We tend to neglect

146
00:07:50,676 --> 00:07:53,316
Speaker 1: our own well being because we're too busy with our careers,

147
00:07:53,476 --> 00:07:56,476
Speaker 1: or with parenting, or with caring for elders. But Robert

148
00:07:56,516 --> 00:07:57,796
Speaker 1: says that's a mistake.

149
00:07:58,196 --> 00:08:00,236
Speaker 3: I mean, I know this as a physician, that if

150
00:08:00,316 --> 00:08:02,476
Speaker 3: you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care

151
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:05,156
Speaker 3: of other people very well. Physicians happen to be not

152
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,756
Speaker 3: very good at taking care of themselves. Parents can be

153
00:08:07,836 --> 00:08:10,156
Speaker 3: not very good at taken care of themselves.

154
00:08:10,276 --> 00:08:12,676
Speaker 1: But if emotional self care is something with which you

155
00:08:12,716 --> 00:08:16,356
Speaker 1: perpetually struggle not to worry, the science shows you're not

156
00:08:16,476 --> 00:08:18,116
Speaker 1: doomed to repeat the cycle endlessly.

157
00:08:18,356 --> 00:08:20,556
Speaker 3: We used to think that once you got to be

158
00:08:20,756 --> 00:08:23,956
Speaker 3: maybe in your twenties, you were cooked, you were done,

159
00:08:23,996 --> 00:08:27,676
Speaker 3: your personality was set. And now we realize that there

160
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:31,756
Speaker 3: is so much growth and change that happens over adult life.

161
00:08:31,796 --> 00:08:34,636
Speaker 1: The Harvard Study of Adult Development found that participants were

162
00:08:34,636 --> 00:08:37,476
Speaker 1: able to build new friendships and learn new skills well

163
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,596
Speaker 1: into old age. And I've seen the same thing myself.

164
00:08:41,196 --> 00:08:43,676
Speaker 1: I've gotten thank you notes from students of all ages

165
00:08:43,916 --> 00:08:46,036
Speaker 1: telling me just how quickly they were able to put

166
00:08:46,076 --> 00:08:48,436
Speaker 1: new happiness strategies into practice.

167
00:08:48,516 --> 00:08:51,436
Speaker 3: And what that tells us is that there's always the

168
00:08:51,516 --> 00:08:54,916
Speaker 3: possibility for new things happening in your life and for

169
00:08:55,036 --> 00:08:56,876
Speaker 3: developing new new skills.

170
00:08:57,116 --> 00:08:59,836
Speaker 1: And so if developing new skills is why you're listening,

171
00:09:00,076 --> 00:09:02,316
Speaker 1: I'll get going and kick off this new season with

172
00:09:02,396 --> 00:09:05,996
Speaker 1: one of Robert's favorite happiness boosting practices a change to

173
00:09:06,036 --> 00:09:09,076
Speaker 1: our thought patterns that so simple everyone can try it,

174
00:09:09,596 --> 00:09:11,316
Speaker 1: and I'm going to tell you all about it with

175
00:09:11,396 --> 00:09:13,916
Speaker 1: the help of the folks at Sesame Street. By the way,

176
00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:15,836
Speaker 1: did I mention that we have a letter of the day?

177
00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:17,276
Speaker 5: The letter.

178
00:09:20,956 --> 00:09:23,556
Speaker 1: And why is g today's letter of the day, Because

179
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,596
Speaker 1: the rest of the episode is about powerful thought change.

180
00:09:26,836 --> 00:09:30,596
Speaker 1: It's called gratitude, the simple act of noticing all of

181
00:09:30,676 --> 00:09:31,556
Speaker 1: life's blessings.

182
00:09:36,396 --> 00:09:39,676
Speaker 3: If we can remember what's right, and particularly what's right

183
00:09:39,716 --> 00:09:43,596
Speaker 3: about other people, it can really change our mindset and

184
00:09:43,636 --> 00:09:47,636
Speaker 3: with that literally make us feel better and literally then

185
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,676
Speaker 3: make us physically healthier.

186
00:09:49,996 --> 00:09:52,556
Speaker 1: As we go about our daily routines, moving from one

187
00:09:52,636 --> 00:09:55,436
Speaker 1: task to the next, it's easy to switch into autopilot

188
00:09:55,556 --> 00:09:57,956
Speaker 1: to forget all the things that are going right, which

189
00:09:57,956 --> 00:10:00,796
Speaker 1: is bad enough, But an even bigger problem is that

190
00:10:00,836 --> 00:10:03,716
Speaker 1: when some annoyance or hassle in life disrupts our routines,

191
00:10:04,076 --> 00:10:07,156
Speaker 1: we definitely tend to notice that. So why do our

192
00:10:07,196 --> 00:10:09,716
Speaker 1: minds zero in on the hassles in life? And how

193
00:10:09,756 --> 00:10:13,116
Speaker 1: can we shift our focus to gratitude instead? Well, I've

194
00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:15,836
Speaker 1: got just the Sesame Street friend to ask. She's someone

195
00:10:15,836 --> 00:10:19,436
Speaker 1: who finds magic in the ordinary. Please welcome my fabulous

196
00:10:19,476 --> 00:10:24,236
Speaker 1: fairy friend, Abby k Dabby. Abby, there you are. I

197
00:10:24,316 --> 00:10:26,516
Speaker 1: love you. Poof him like that. You're already bringing the

198
00:10:26,516 --> 00:10:30,436
Speaker 1: magic to our podcast today. Hi, doctor Lori, h Abby,

199
00:10:30,516 --> 00:10:32,756
Speaker 1: I noticed that your face is all scrunched up and

200
00:10:32,796 --> 00:10:35,636
Speaker 1: that your arms are crossed. How are you feeling not

201
00:10:35,716 --> 00:10:41,556
Speaker 1: so happy? Nothing's going right today? Ah? So you're feeling grumpy?

202
00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:44,116
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm grumpy.

203
00:10:44,996 --> 00:10:48,036
Speaker 6: It started when I wanted a banana with my breakfast,

204
00:10:48,436 --> 00:10:50,476
Speaker 6: but my little brother Rudy.

205
00:10:50,356 --> 00:10:52,516
Speaker 2: Ate the last one.

206
00:10:52,196 --> 00:10:56,516
Speaker 6: He didn't even know I wanted it. But still no

207
00:10:56,676 --> 00:10:57,636
Speaker 6: banana for me.

208
00:10:58,316 --> 00:10:59,636
Speaker 2: And then when I.

209
00:10:59,556 --> 00:11:03,356
Speaker 6: Was getting dressed, I couldn't wear my favorite sparkle socks.

210
00:11:04,036 --> 00:11:05,876
Speaker 2: Do you know why Why?

211
00:11:06,276 --> 00:11:09,316
Speaker 6: Because they were in the dirty, stinky laundry.

212
00:11:10,116 --> 00:11:11,676
Speaker 1: Sounds like you're having a rough morning.

213
00:11:12,076 --> 00:11:15,436
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I can't find my lovey.

214
00:11:15,996 --> 00:11:18,676
Speaker 2: Wait have you seen him, doctor Lorie.

215
00:11:19,116 --> 00:11:23,156
Speaker 6: He's a frog prince and he's got a tiny crown

216
00:11:23,556 --> 00:11:26,636
Speaker 6: and there's a little grape jelly on his belly.

217
00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:30,356
Speaker 1: No, Abby, I haven't seen him. See.

218
00:11:30,996 --> 00:11:32,356
Speaker 2: That's why I'm grumpy.

219
00:11:32,796 --> 00:11:35,556
Speaker 1: I understand why you're feeling grumpy, Abby. That can happen

220
00:11:35,556 --> 00:11:38,796
Speaker 1: when things don't go the way you expected. Yeah, how

221
00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:40,716
Speaker 1: about we try on activity to help you feel a

222
00:11:40,756 --> 00:11:44,596
Speaker 1: bit better. I think you'll like it. It's magical.

223
00:11:46,556 --> 00:11:46,996
Speaker 2: Magic.

224
00:11:47,556 --> 00:11:50,436
Speaker 6: I'll use my magic to make my grumpies go away.

225
00:11:50,956 --> 00:11:53,116
Speaker 1: Wait, Abby, that's not what I meant. I was actually

226
00:11:53,116 --> 00:11:54,436
Speaker 1: talking about gratitude.

227
00:11:54,516 --> 00:11:56,196
Speaker 2: Okay, here goes.

228
00:11:57,556 --> 00:12:03,996
Speaker 6: Let me see I'm feeling grumpy today. Come on, magic

229
00:12:04,116 --> 00:12:09,996
Speaker 6: and pop it away, zippity.

230
00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:11,676
Speaker 4: What do you mean?

231
00:12:11,716 --> 00:12:15,356
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, okay, I think this is a

232
00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:18,436
Speaker 1: good time for a break. The happiness will be right back. Yikes,

233
00:12:18,636 --> 00:12:20,556
Speaker 1: it's okay, Abby, we'll get to the bottom of this.

234
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:33,556
Speaker 5: We're back and things are.

235
00:12:34,916 --> 00:12:41,876
Speaker 1: Doctlorry bananas bananas? Yeah, I guess things are bananas. Wa Abby,

236
00:12:42,076 --> 00:12:43,956
Speaker 1: Why are your bananas all over the studio?

237
00:12:45,276 --> 00:12:50,036
Speaker 2: It's making things worse. Oh it's itchy.

238
00:12:50,556 --> 00:12:51,236
Speaker 1: What's itchy?

239
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:51,756
Speaker 4: Oh?

240
00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:53,196
Speaker 2: My sparkly socks.

241
00:12:53,196 --> 00:12:56,636
Speaker 6: They're on my feet now where they're so itchy and

242
00:12:56,956 --> 00:12:59,516
Speaker 6: scratchy old scratch.

243
00:12:59,756 --> 00:13:00,836
Speaker 2: Oh they're so.

244
00:13:02,676 --> 00:13:05,756
Speaker 1: Abby. I don't mean to interrupt, but is that a

245
00:13:05,836 --> 00:13:06,956
Speaker 1: frog in the studio?

246
00:13:07,316 --> 00:13:07,676
Speaker 3: Prince?

247
00:13:08,036 --> 00:13:11,756
Speaker 2: Doctor Lori, it's my lovey prince. I found him.

248
00:13:12,316 --> 00:13:15,156
Speaker 1: That's great, But isn't he supposed to be a stuffed animal?

249
00:13:15,196 --> 00:13:15,516
Speaker 5: Frog?

250
00:13:17,516 --> 00:13:21,916
Speaker 6: Magic mistake. Ohoy, better go catch that frog. Oh I

251
00:13:22,036 --> 00:13:29,156
Speaker 6: wish he sucks. Weren't so etchy, prince? Come on, no, no, no, no,

252
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,396
Speaker 6: don't you do that.

253
00:13:30,516 --> 00:13:32,916
Speaker 2: No, don't go do that, door prince.

254
00:13:34,796 --> 00:13:38,396
Speaker 1: And there she goes. Well, as you can tell, we're

255
00:13:38,436 --> 00:13:40,516
Speaker 1: still a bit caught up in the hassles this morning.

256
00:13:40,956 --> 00:13:43,196
Speaker 1: So while Abby hops off to catch her frog, I

257
00:13:43,236 --> 00:13:45,596
Speaker 1: think now is a good time to welcome our next guest.

258
00:13:45,836 --> 00:13:48,236
Speaker 1: A champion of noticing the good things in life.

259
00:13:48,396 --> 00:13:50,516
Speaker 4: I was walking across our campus this morning and I

260
00:13:50,556 --> 00:13:55,636
Speaker 4: was just appreciating the huge old trees on our campus

261
00:13:55,676 --> 00:13:58,036
Speaker 4: and just they just were bringing me this joy.

262
00:13:58,196 --> 00:14:00,996
Speaker 1: Sarah Aljo is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at

263
00:14:00,996 --> 00:14:03,956
Speaker 1: the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Sarah is

264
00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:06,716
Speaker 1: an academic expert on the science of gratitude, but she's

265
00:14:06,756 --> 00:14:09,476
Speaker 1: also skilled at noticing good things in her own life,

266
00:14:09,676 --> 00:14:11,716
Speaker 1: whether those things are the trees she sees on her

267
00:14:11,716 --> 00:14:14,156
Speaker 1: commute to work or all the kind things people in

268
00:14:14,196 --> 00:14:15,116
Speaker 1: her life have done.

269
00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:17,756
Speaker 4: My sister sent me a text this morning and it

270
00:14:17,796 --> 00:14:21,636
Speaker 4: was like perfectly timed. I was like, Ah, she's so great.

271
00:14:21,796 --> 00:14:24,116
Speaker 4: That's what I love about her, you know, right on time.

272
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,756
Speaker 1: But Sarah admits that focusing on the blessings in life

273
00:14:26,956 --> 00:14:28,636
Speaker 1: doesn't always come naturally for us.

274
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:32,956
Speaker 4: There are so many opportunities for negativity.

275
00:14:33,516 --> 00:14:37,276
Speaker 1: Our minds spontaneously gravity to all of life's hassles. Those

276
00:14:37,316 --> 00:14:40,356
Speaker 1: missing socks and lost stuffed animals tend to naturally capture

277
00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:44,636
Speaker 1: our attention. It's a tendency the psychologists call the negativity bias,

278
00:14:45,116 --> 00:14:48,676
Speaker 1: and the negativity bias feeds on itself. Focusing on the

279
00:14:48,716 --> 00:14:51,596
Speaker 1: hassles can become the vicious cycle, one that makes us

280
00:14:51,596 --> 00:14:54,276
Speaker 1: feel grumpy but also has a negative impact on the

281
00:14:54,316 --> 00:14:55,276
Speaker 1: people around us.

282
00:14:55,476 --> 00:14:58,156
Speaker 4: If you step back and think about it, other people's

283
00:14:58,156 --> 00:15:02,476
Speaker 4: emotions affect us all the time, and so that means

284
00:15:02,476 --> 00:15:06,036
Speaker 4: that our emotions affect other people too, and so so

285
00:15:06,076 --> 00:15:07,996
Speaker 4: it really can spill out and spread.

286
00:15:09,236 --> 00:15:11,836
Speaker 1: Can we prevent the storm of negativity from hurting us

287
00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:13,956
Speaker 1: and the people we care about? We need a little

288
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:17,276
Speaker 1: dose of g for gratitude. We need to notice the

289
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:20,196
Speaker 1: good stuff in life. But how do we do that

290
00:15:20,276 --> 00:15:23,556
Speaker 1: when everything feels like it's going wrong? Sarah says the

291
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,036
Speaker 1: first step is just a hit pause.

292
00:15:28,116 --> 00:15:31,036
Speaker 4: And that's really hard for people to do, especially when

293
00:15:31,076 --> 00:15:33,516
Speaker 4: it feels like a cyclone of really bad stuff happening.

294
00:15:34,076 --> 00:15:37,476
Speaker 1: Pausing allows us to redirect our attention. It helps us

295
00:15:37,516 --> 00:15:39,996
Speaker 1: divert our minds from all the stuff that's going wrong,

296
00:15:40,076 --> 00:15:42,316
Speaker 1: so we can ask the question, what's going right?

297
00:15:42,916 --> 00:15:45,876
Speaker 4: Okay, well wait, there was something good today? What was

298
00:15:45,916 --> 00:15:47,956
Speaker 4: the good thing? You know? What are it just like

299
00:15:48,036 --> 00:15:50,396
Speaker 4: right in this moment? What is one thing that I appreciate?

300
00:15:50,636 --> 00:15:53,036
Speaker 1: And that gets us to the next step of experiencing

301
00:15:53,076 --> 00:15:54,676
Speaker 1: gratitude noticing.

302
00:15:55,396 --> 00:15:58,716
Speaker 4: If we don't notice, there's no gratitude. That's the bottom line.

303
00:15:58,716 --> 00:16:02,036
Speaker 4: If you have any chance, I guess of increasing your gratitude,

304
00:16:02,076 --> 00:16:05,396
Speaker 4: it has to be through just taking a moment to notice.

305
00:16:05,636 --> 00:16:08,156
Speaker 1: It can often be hard, especially for kids, to take

306
00:16:08,196 --> 00:16:10,316
Speaker 1: a breath and notice the blessings that are out there,

307
00:16:10,996 --> 00:16:13,836
Speaker 1: and that, Sarah says, is where parents come in. They

308
00:16:13,916 --> 00:16:16,596
Speaker 1: can help kids find the good stuff. Of course, that

309
00:16:16,596 --> 00:16:19,596
Speaker 1: doesn't mean dismissing or diminishing the negative stuff that someone

310
00:16:19,636 --> 00:16:22,836
Speaker 1: is experiencing. A cyclone of bad things may really be

311
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:26,036
Speaker 1: happening and probably doesn't feel all that good, but we

312
00:16:26,076 --> 00:16:28,476
Speaker 1: can still point out some stuff that's going well in

313
00:16:28,476 --> 00:16:31,316
Speaker 1: the midst of a bad situation. If we stop to

314
00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:34,876
Speaker 1: take notice Feeling thankful makes us happier and less stressed

315
00:16:34,876 --> 00:16:37,156
Speaker 1: in the moment. It also comes with a host of

316
00:16:37,236 --> 00:16:42,116
Speaker 1: longer psychological benefits. People who self report experiencing gratitude are

317
00:16:42,156 --> 00:16:45,516
Speaker 1: more satisfied with life and less depressed. They sleep better

318
00:16:45,556 --> 00:16:47,996
Speaker 1: and have better connections with the people they care about.

319
00:16:48,196 --> 00:16:49,636
Speaker 4: And that's actually one of the reasons that I've been

320
00:16:49,636 --> 00:16:53,236
Speaker 4: studying gratitude for so long is that it can really

321
00:16:53,436 --> 00:16:56,756
Speaker 4: be so good for shoring up our relationships.

322
00:16:57,596 --> 00:17:00,316
Speaker 1: Sarah's research has focused a lot on the social benefits

323
00:17:00,316 --> 00:17:03,916
Speaker 1: of gratitude, especially those that come from acknowledging the nice

324
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,756
Speaker 1: things that people do for us, like Sarah did earlier

325
00:17:06,836 --> 00:17:09,396
Speaker 1: with her sister's well timed text message.

326
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,556
Speaker 4: You know what's going to happen. I'm going to call

327
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:14,236
Speaker 4: her this weekend. Because of that that feeling of gratitude.

328
00:17:14,516 --> 00:17:18,876
Speaker 1: Gratitude often causes virtuous cycles like this. Feeling thankful prompts

329
00:17:18,956 --> 00:17:20,916
Speaker 1: us to act in ways that increase the bonds we

330
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,836
Speaker 1: have with other people. It's why Sarah proposed what she

331
00:17:23,996 --> 00:17:27,556
Speaker 1: calls the find, remind and bind theory. The theory goes

332
00:17:27,596 --> 00:17:30,716
Speaker 1: something like this, when we take time to find examples

333
00:17:30,756 --> 00:17:32,916
Speaker 1: of the nice things that people do for us. That

334
00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:35,836
Speaker 1: can remind us that we matter to the people around us.

335
00:17:36,276 --> 00:17:39,396
Speaker 4: As soon as we notice that someone's done something nice

336
00:17:39,396 --> 00:17:42,356
Speaker 4: for us, it can really draw attention to the fact

337
00:17:42,356 --> 00:17:45,276
Speaker 4: that we have people in our lives who pay attention

338
00:17:45,316 --> 00:17:46,196
Speaker 4: to us and care.

339
00:17:46,036 --> 00:17:49,316
Speaker 1: For us, and that reminder that we matter can prompt

340
00:17:49,396 --> 00:17:51,356
Speaker 1: us to better bind to the people we love.

341
00:17:51,636 --> 00:17:54,236
Speaker 4: Gratitude really motivates us to make sure that those people

342
00:17:54,796 --> 00:17:58,156
Speaker 4: who just made us feel good really understand that we

343
00:17:58,316 --> 00:17:58,916
Speaker 4: like them too.

344
00:17:59,236 --> 00:18:01,956
Speaker 1: Sarah's research has shown that gratitude can also lead to

345
00:18:01,996 --> 00:18:05,556
Speaker 1: more pro social behavior. It motivates us to spontaneously do

346
00:18:05,796 --> 00:18:07,596
Speaker 1: kind things for the people we love.

347
00:18:07,996 --> 00:18:09,476
Speaker 4: And those are just the kind of thing that we

348
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,756
Speaker 4: want in our families, right, is to really have each

349
00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:12,516
Speaker 4: other's backs.

350
00:18:13,156 --> 00:18:15,516
Speaker 1: It's one of the reasons that Sarah thanks all families

351
00:18:15,556 --> 00:18:18,356
Speaker 1: need a little more gratitude, not just noticing the world

352
00:18:18,356 --> 00:18:21,516
Speaker 1: around them, but specifically noticing the good deeds that one

353
00:18:21,556 --> 00:18:23,036
Speaker 1: relative might do for another.

354
00:18:23,596 --> 00:18:25,196
Speaker 4: And it does take a little bit of a commitment,

355
00:18:25,436 --> 00:18:27,996
Speaker 4: but one of the nice things about family is that

356
00:18:28,196 --> 00:18:31,596
Speaker 4: we can kind of reinforce those opportunities through ritual.

357
00:18:31,756 --> 00:18:35,236
Speaker 1: For example, that might be parents introducing a gratitude practice

358
00:18:35,236 --> 00:18:37,876
Speaker 1: at dinner before we eat, what's one thing that went

359
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:40,756
Speaker 1: well today? Or was there someone who did something kind

360
00:18:40,756 --> 00:18:44,276
Speaker 1: for you today. Parents can also model these practices themselves.

361
00:18:44,636 --> 00:18:47,396
Speaker 1: If your child did something that you appreciated, even if

362
00:18:47,396 --> 00:18:49,636
Speaker 1: it was something they were kind of supposed to do anyway,

363
00:18:50,116 --> 00:18:53,756
Speaker 1: take time to notice and appreciate that behavior. Sarah's work

364
00:18:53,796 --> 00:18:56,556
Speaker 1: shows that such acts of gratitude won't just feel good.

365
00:18:56,916 --> 00:18:59,356
Speaker 1: They can also lead to an upward spiral that makes

366
00:18:59,356 --> 00:19:02,396
Speaker 1: it easier for other family members to notice blessings too.

367
00:19:02,796 --> 00:19:05,356
Speaker 4: Parents have an opportunity, I think, to help lay the

368
00:19:05,356 --> 00:19:08,636
Speaker 4: groundwork for helping kids learn how to cultivate gratitude in

369
00:19:08,636 --> 00:19:09,036
Speaker 4: their lives.

370
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,156
Speaker 1: When we get back from the break, we'll learn other

371
00:19:12,236 --> 00:19:15,436
Speaker 1: practical ways we can put these gratitude strategies into effect

372
00:19:15,836 --> 00:19:20,116
Speaker 1: even during times that are particularly stressful or just frustrating.

373
00:19:20,116 --> 00:19:24,596
Speaker 1: In itchy and uh ribbety as it were, Ibby and

374
00:19:24,636 --> 00:19:27,716
Speaker 1: I and uh maybe Prince. I'm not sure we'll be

375
00:19:27,796 --> 00:19:35,956
Speaker 1: back after the break. Welcome back to the studio where

376
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:38,876
Speaker 1: the magic has stopped. All is in order. I'm here

377
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:41,356
Speaker 1: with Abby and I'm happy to report her spell has

378
00:19:41,396 --> 00:19:41,916
Speaker 1: been fixed.

379
00:19:42,276 --> 00:19:46,556
Speaker 6: No bananas, no witchy socks. And no real frogs.

380
00:19:47,156 --> 00:19:48,636
Speaker 2: But I'm still grumpy.

381
00:19:49,516 --> 00:19:52,796
Speaker 6: I'm happy that my spell is fixed, but why did

382
00:19:52,876 --> 00:19:55,556
Speaker 6: it get all messed up in the first place.

383
00:19:55,956 --> 00:19:58,476
Speaker 1: Sounds like today had some ups like fixing your spell,

384
00:19:58,556 --> 00:20:01,796
Speaker 1: and some downs like well everything going wrong this morning?

385
00:20:02,156 --> 00:20:02,476
Speaker 2: Uh huh.

386
00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:05,076
Speaker 1: But instead of focusing on the ups, you're still stuck

387
00:20:05,076 --> 00:20:07,356
Speaker 1: on the downs, on what the grown ups might call

388
00:20:07,516 --> 00:20:08,196
Speaker 1: the hassles.

389
00:20:08,476 --> 00:20:11,676
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to be grumpy anymore.

390
00:20:12,156 --> 00:20:14,476
Speaker 1: I think I know something that might help, and I'm

391
00:20:14,516 --> 00:20:16,436
Speaker 1: telling you it really is magical.

392
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:21,596
Speaker 6: Huh, But I tried that already. Magic didn't fix my grumpy.

393
00:20:21,796 --> 00:20:23,996
Speaker 1: Well, it's a different kind of magic, one that doesn't

394
00:20:23,996 --> 00:20:26,916
Speaker 1: include any spells or ones. I'm talking about the magic

395
00:20:26,996 --> 00:20:27,836
Speaker 1: of gratitude.

396
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:28,836
Speaker 2: Gratitude.

397
00:20:29,316 --> 00:20:31,996
Speaker 1: What's that Gratitude is when we see and notice things

398
00:20:32,036 --> 00:20:34,996
Speaker 1: that make us feel happy. The ups like how I'm

399
00:20:34,996 --> 00:20:36,796
Speaker 1: grateful that I get to make a new episode of

400
00:20:36,796 --> 00:20:39,196
Speaker 1: my podcast today, or how I'm grateful I get to

401
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,276
Speaker 1: see a really cool tree on my walk this morning.

402
00:20:41,356 --> 00:20:43,596
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, trees are the best.

403
00:20:43,756 --> 00:20:45,996
Speaker 1: When we notice what we're grateful for, it can help

404
00:20:46,076 --> 00:20:48,956
Speaker 1: us get through the day. Noticing and appreciating the things

405
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,476
Speaker 1: around us can make us feel happier. Why don't you

406
00:20:51,476 --> 00:20:53,476
Speaker 1: give it a try. What's something you're grateful for?

407
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:58,476
Speaker 2: Habby huh, well, I think I need a little help.

408
00:20:58,836 --> 00:21:01,636
Speaker 1: Of course, that's what I'm here for. What's something you

409
00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:03,676
Speaker 1: can see that makes you feel happy?

410
00:21:03,836 --> 00:21:04,076
Speaker 4: Oh?

411
00:21:04,316 --> 00:21:07,236
Speaker 6: I see a plant, that little green one over there

412
00:21:07,476 --> 00:21:08,756
Speaker 6: in that yellow pot.

413
00:21:09,596 --> 00:21:11,916
Speaker 2: I got one just like that in my garden.

414
00:21:12,516 --> 00:21:15,276
Speaker 6: Oh. I love being in my garden with my plant

415
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,516
Speaker 6: and flower friends.

416
00:21:16,716 --> 00:21:19,916
Speaker 1: It's great. Abby nature is something to be grateful for. Okay,

417
00:21:20,036 --> 00:21:21,876
Speaker 1: let's try again. What do you hear?

418
00:21:23,036 --> 00:21:28,116
Speaker 6: Uh? Oh, I hear birdie chirps. That's a bird's wave

419
00:21:28,276 --> 00:21:28,956
Speaker 6: saying hi.

420
00:21:29,396 --> 00:21:31,676
Speaker 2: Oh. Aren't animals magicals?

421
00:21:31,796 --> 00:21:32,236
Speaker 3: They are?

422
00:21:32,476 --> 00:21:35,276
Speaker 1: See, you're grateful for animals. How about one more? What

423
00:21:35,516 --> 00:21:37,036
Speaker 1: something you can touch?

424
00:21:37,436 --> 00:21:37,596
Speaker 3: Oh?

425
00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:40,236
Speaker 2: Oh, oh, my lovely prince.

426
00:21:40,876 --> 00:21:43,836
Speaker 6: I'm grateful I can give him a big hug whenever

427
00:21:43,956 --> 00:21:48,036
Speaker 6: I need, like now. Oh, and I'm grateful that he's

428
00:21:48,076 --> 00:21:49,196
Speaker 6: not a real frog.

429
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,876
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm also grateful for that last one. But see,

430
00:21:52,876 --> 00:21:55,436
Speaker 1: I'll be by looking around and using your senses, you

431
00:21:55,476 --> 00:21:57,996
Speaker 1: came up with three wonderful things to be grateful for.

432
00:21:58,396 --> 00:22:03,156
Speaker 6: Yeah, and if I keep looking around, I'll be grateful

433
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:04,436
Speaker 6: about even more things.

434
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:07,996
Speaker 2: And then poof my grumpy day will really go away.

435
00:22:08,476 --> 00:22:11,196
Speaker 2: Oh great idea, doctor Lorie.

436
00:22:11,436 --> 00:22:14,036
Speaker 6: I gotta find more things to be grateful for, like

437
00:22:14,556 --> 00:22:18,276
Speaker 6: my sneakers, Oh in these cool microphones.

438
00:22:17,796 --> 00:22:21,796
Speaker 2: Oh and this shiny door handle, and oh what's over there?

439
00:22:22,116 --> 00:22:23,676
Speaker 2: I think I'm grateful over there.

440
00:22:23,956 --> 00:22:28,236
Speaker 1: Wait, Abby, that's not exactly what I meant. And there

441
00:22:28,236 --> 00:22:30,916
Speaker 1: she goes again. What I was trying to tell Abby

442
00:22:30,956 --> 00:22:32,836
Speaker 1: before she zipped out is that we can also be

443
00:22:32,876 --> 00:22:37,236
Speaker 1: grateful for people. As psychologist Sarah Aljo explained, noticing and

444
00:22:37,276 --> 00:22:39,956
Speaker 1: appreciating the kindness of others can increase our sense of

445
00:22:39,996 --> 00:22:43,596
Speaker 1: belonging and our happiness. And this positive feeling that someone

446
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:46,236
Speaker 1: has our back can be especially important when we're facing

447
00:22:46,276 --> 00:22:49,356
Speaker 1: tough times, and not just the missing sparkly sock mornings,

448
00:22:49,676 --> 00:22:52,116
Speaker 1: but those times that truly challenge us to the core.

449
00:22:52,796 --> 00:22:54,796
Speaker 1: So while we wait for Abby to come back, let's

450
00:22:54,836 --> 00:22:57,276
Speaker 1: chat with someone who's observed the way that gratitude can

451
00:22:57,316 --> 00:23:01,236
Speaker 1: increase connection within families and communities during the worst of times.

452
00:23:01,716 --> 00:23:05,756
Speaker 7: Being grateful is looking at the situation and the experience

453
00:23:05,796 --> 00:23:06,476
Speaker 7: for what it is.

454
00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:07,956
Speaker 1: This is rossio glarsa.

455
00:23:08,196 --> 00:23:10,796
Speaker 7: It is looking at the challenge and acknowledging that there

456
00:23:10,836 --> 00:23:13,956
Speaker 7: are challenges, they're difficulties, but also looking at the good,

457
00:23:14,356 --> 00:23:16,636
Speaker 7: looking at the kindness, looking at the good things that

458
00:23:16,676 --> 00:23:20,236
Speaker 7: are happening around us, not as a way of avoiding

459
00:23:20,276 --> 00:23:23,356
Speaker 7: the challenge, but as a way of taking a break

460
00:23:23,396 --> 00:23:26,676
Speaker 7: and energizing ourselves to be able to cope with the

461
00:23:26,756 --> 00:23:28,116
Speaker 7: challenges and the difficulties.

462
00:23:28,276 --> 00:23:31,956
Speaker 1: Rossio is the vice president of SESAME Workshop Social Impact Division,

463
00:23:32,476 --> 00:23:34,756
Speaker 1: a group that works to help families who are going

464
00:23:34,796 --> 00:23:36,156
Speaker 1: through stressful situations.

465
00:23:36,476 --> 00:23:38,996
Speaker 7: So those are not only the stressors of everyday life,

466
00:23:39,156 --> 00:23:43,196
Speaker 7: but they're huge stressors. We're talking about substance abuse, homelessness, hunger,

467
00:23:43,356 --> 00:23:46,236
Speaker 7: community violence. I mean, there's so many stressors that we're

468
00:23:46,276 --> 00:23:47,316
Speaker 7: supporting them through.

469
00:23:47,796 --> 00:23:50,796
Speaker 1: To face challenges as complex as these, Rossio says that

470
00:23:50,836 --> 00:23:53,396
Speaker 1: families need to go back to the basics. They need

471
00:23:53,476 --> 00:23:57,476
Speaker 1: simple and easy to remember strategies to take care of themselves.

472
00:23:57,116 --> 00:23:59,996
Speaker 7: And many of them do use gratitude as that strategy.

473
00:24:00,556 --> 00:24:03,236
Speaker 1: The first benefit gratitude provides in tough times is a

474
00:24:03,316 --> 00:24:07,356
Speaker 1: much needed infusion of positive emotion, which is important because

475
00:24:07,396 --> 00:24:09,996
Speaker 1: we definitely need positivity and stuff health care when we're

476
00:24:09,996 --> 00:24:10,956
Speaker 1: facing challenges.

477
00:24:11,356 --> 00:24:16,236
Speaker 7: Leeds sometimes think that being strong is pushing through difficulties, right,

478
00:24:16,516 --> 00:24:19,356
Speaker 7: I just have to get through this and I'm just

479
00:24:19,436 --> 00:24:22,596
Speaker 7: going to face it. But we all also need times

480
00:24:22,636 --> 00:24:26,476
Speaker 7: to energize, and gratitude is one of those strategies that

481
00:24:26,596 --> 00:24:28,796
Speaker 7: help us do that, and help us do that in

482
00:24:28,876 --> 00:24:30,796
Speaker 7: a very practical way.

483
00:24:31,556 --> 00:24:33,996
Speaker 1: But the second benefit gratitude provides is the one I

484
00:24:34,076 --> 00:24:36,916
Speaker 1: was trying to tell Abby about. Feeling grateful for other

485
00:24:36,956 --> 00:24:39,596
Speaker 1: people can help to reduce our sense of loneliness.

486
00:24:39,916 --> 00:24:42,796
Speaker 7: One of the biggest challenges for families when they're going

487
00:24:42,836 --> 00:24:47,316
Speaker 7: through big difficulties is feeling alone, is really feeling isolated.

488
00:24:47,956 --> 00:24:51,356
Speaker 1: Remember doctor Sarah al Jo's fine remind and bind idea.

489
00:24:51,476 --> 00:24:54,076
Speaker 1: Noticing the blessings that other people provide can make us

490
00:24:54,116 --> 00:24:57,676
Speaker 1: feel more connected, and during challenging times, that can remind

491
00:24:57,756 --> 00:25:00,036
Speaker 1: us of all the friends and family members who really

492
00:25:00,036 --> 00:25:01,076
Speaker 1: do have our backs.

493
00:25:01,316 --> 00:25:04,356
Speaker 7: That's when you start discovering the people around you that

494
00:25:04,396 --> 00:25:05,316
Speaker 7: are there for you.

495
00:25:05,676 --> 00:25:08,636
Speaker 1: When Rocillo was developing a set of Sesame workshop materials

496
00:25:08,636 --> 00:25:12,596
Speaker 1: dealing with she met many families who'd lost someone important,

497
00:25:12,756 --> 00:25:15,636
Speaker 1: But rather than dwelling just on their loss, she noticed

498
00:25:15,676 --> 00:25:17,996
Speaker 1: that some families tended to focus on the folks who'd

499
00:25:17,996 --> 00:25:20,836
Speaker 1: helped out, people who showed up to watch their kids

500
00:25:20,956 --> 00:25:21,756
Speaker 1: or help with dinner.

501
00:25:22,116 --> 00:25:26,156
Speaker 7: Even though there's really difficult moments in our lives, there's

502
00:25:26,196 --> 00:25:28,156
Speaker 7: always goodness and kindness around us.

503
00:25:28,556 --> 00:25:31,596
Speaker 1: Rossillo was surprised by the resilience of these grateful families

504
00:25:32,076 --> 00:25:34,356
Speaker 1: and just how often they were able to notice good

505
00:25:34,356 --> 00:25:37,156
Speaker 1: things and particularly the good people in the midst of

506
00:25:37,156 --> 00:25:37,676
Speaker 1: their grief.

507
00:25:37,876 --> 00:25:41,596
Speaker 7: And so it was really special because it was gratitude

508
00:25:41,956 --> 00:25:44,676
Speaker 7: that they had in the moment, but also this collective

509
00:25:44,836 --> 00:25:47,316
Speaker 7: sense of oh, this happened to me too. I wasn't

510
00:25:47,356 --> 00:25:49,716
Speaker 7: alone in having this experience.

511
00:25:50,276 --> 00:25:52,276
Speaker 1: But acknowledging the good things in life when you're at

512
00:25:52,316 --> 00:25:55,276
Speaker 1: your lowest point isn't easy. We can feel like we're

513
00:25:55,356 --> 00:25:58,276
Speaker 1: drowning in sorrow, and Rossillo says that's why it's so

514
00:25:58,396 --> 00:26:00,916
Speaker 1: important to learn this skill of gratitude as early as

515
00:26:00,956 --> 00:26:04,276
Speaker 1: we can. The more we practice finding blessings when things

516
00:26:04,316 --> 00:26:07,716
Speaker 1: are going smoothly, the easier it'll be to appreciate blessings

517
00:26:07,756 --> 00:26:09,796
Speaker 1: when times are much tougher, which is one of the

518
00:26:09,796 --> 00:26:13,276
Speaker 1: reasons Sesame Workshop is so focused on teaching gratitude, not

519
00:26:13,356 --> 00:26:15,716
Speaker 1: just to parents and caregivers, but to kids too.

520
00:26:16,316 --> 00:26:18,996
Speaker 7: Being able to have gratitude as part of your toolkit

521
00:26:19,036 --> 00:26:22,076
Speaker 7: from the very beginning. Something that becomes just part of

522
00:26:22,076 --> 00:26:24,516
Speaker 7: the things that you do that we just practice is

523
00:26:24,636 --> 00:26:26,676
Speaker 7: something that we can give them for the rest of

524
00:26:26,716 --> 00:26:27,316
Speaker 7: their lives.

525
00:26:27,676 --> 00:26:30,716
Speaker 1: And so Rosso has some advice, not just for folks

526
00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:33,836
Speaker 1: currently navigating tough times, but for anyone who wants to

527
00:26:33,836 --> 00:26:37,036
Speaker 1: make sure their resilient skills are sharpened before things get tough.

528
00:26:37,436 --> 00:26:39,516
Speaker 7: Let's practice it, let's trive be grateful.

529
00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:43,156
Speaker 1: Oh, Abby, there you are.

530
00:26:43,276 --> 00:26:44,196
Speaker 2: Hi, doctor Laurie.

531
00:26:44,796 --> 00:26:47,796
Speaker 6: I went all around Sesame Street finding things to be

532
00:26:47,836 --> 00:26:51,836
Speaker 6: grateful for, the basketball hoop near the community center and

533
00:26:52,156 --> 00:26:55,196
Speaker 6: Alma blowing bubbles and me popping them like this.

534
00:26:56,956 --> 00:26:58,756
Speaker 1: That's great, Abby, And how do you feel?

535
00:26:59,236 --> 00:26:59,636
Speaker 2: Well?

536
00:27:00,156 --> 00:27:04,236
Speaker 6: I was feeling better, but then I saw stinky sawking

537
00:27:04,476 --> 00:27:06,036
Speaker 6: out of oscars can.

538
00:27:06,276 --> 00:27:07,276
Speaker 1: Sounds about right.

539
00:27:07,316 --> 00:27:10,916
Speaker 6: Yeah, And it made me think about my dirty sparkly

540
00:27:11,156 --> 00:27:14,556
Speaker 6: socks and then how my magic made them all itchy,

541
00:27:15,436 --> 00:27:20,516
Speaker 6: and well I felt grumpy again. I thought gratitude was magic.

542
00:27:21,316 --> 00:27:24,396
Speaker 6: Wasn't it supposed to make all my grumpies go away?

543
00:27:24,876 --> 00:27:27,756
Speaker 1: Gratitude is magic And just like how you practice your

544
00:27:27,796 --> 00:27:30,036
Speaker 1: magic as a fairy in training, you have to practice

545
00:27:30,076 --> 00:27:33,636
Speaker 1: gratitude too. And parents for kids out there without magic

546
00:27:33,636 --> 00:27:35,796
Speaker 1: wands and wings. They can think of it like brushing

547
00:27:35,836 --> 00:27:36,236
Speaker 1: their teeth.

548
00:27:36,356 --> 00:27:40,076
Speaker 6: Oh, I brush my teeth too, in the morning and

549
00:27:40,196 --> 00:27:42,876
Speaker 6: at nine, right, Brushing your teeth is part of your

550
00:27:42,956 --> 00:27:44,396
Speaker 6: routine that you do every day.

551
00:27:44,836 --> 00:27:46,916
Speaker 1: Gratitude is something you can add to your routine too,

552
00:27:47,196 --> 00:27:50,636
Speaker 1: I can't yep. By practicing gratitude a little every day,

553
00:27:50,796 --> 00:27:53,196
Speaker 1: you'll start to notice more and more things you're grateful for,

554
00:27:53,636 --> 00:27:56,836
Speaker 1: and that'll help you feel happy. And that's the magical part.

555
00:27:57,236 --> 00:28:00,036
Speaker 2: Oh, I get it now.

556
00:28:00,516 --> 00:28:03,836
Speaker 6: It gets a little more magical every day the more

557
00:28:03,916 --> 00:28:08,476
Speaker 6: you practice, like learning to tie your shoes, oh, or

558
00:28:08,556 --> 00:28:11,676
Speaker 6: doing it to turn a sandwich into a helicopter.

559
00:28:12,036 --> 00:28:14,956
Speaker 1: Your sandwich into a what a helicopter, you.

560
00:28:14,916 --> 00:28:18,036
Speaker 2: Know, for when you need a yummy lunch that travels well.

561
00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:20,876
Speaker 1: Right, of course, maybe you can make me one someday.

562
00:28:20,716 --> 00:28:21,796
Speaker 2: Oh, I'd love to.

563
00:28:22,996 --> 00:28:27,396
Speaker 6: I just gotta keep on practicing that spell. It takes

564
00:28:27,396 --> 00:28:29,756
Speaker 6: a lot of tries to turn a pickle slice into

565
00:28:29,796 --> 00:28:30,476
Speaker 6: a propeller.

566
00:28:31,036 --> 00:28:34,076
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm sure. But speaking of practice, I've got something

567
00:28:34,116 --> 00:28:36,676
Speaker 1: we can practice together. Here are some things you can

568
00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:38,956
Speaker 1: say each and every day to help you appreciate the

569
00:28:38,996 --> 00:28:41,436
Speaker 1: things and the people around you are you ready to try?

570
00:28:41,716 --> 00:28:42,076
Speaker 2: Ready?

571
00:28:42,196 --> 00:28:44,596
Speaker 1: Okay? Who's one of your favorite people around?

572
00:28:44,716 --> 00:28:48,236
Speaker 2: Oohe my brother Rudy. Great.

573
00:28:48,436 --> 00:28:51,876
Speaker 1: Now think about Rudy and finish this sentence. Rudy is

574
00:28:51,956 --> 00:28:54,996
Speaker 1: kind to me when he Rudy is kind.

575
00:28:54,796 --> 00:28:58,116
Speaker 6: To me when he oh oh, when he helps me

576
00:28:58,156 --> 00:29:01,836
Speaker 6: in the garden. He helps me water the flowers and

577
00:29:01,836 --> 00:29:05,476
Speaker 6: feed the birdies. And when we're done, we make mud

578
00:29:05,596 --> 00:29:10,516
Speaker 6: castles together. Oh, playing with my brother.

579
00:29:10,836 --> 00:29:13,276
Speaker 1: See doesn't it feel nice to be grateful for family?

580
00:29:13,596 --> 00:29:15,236
Speaker 1: And we can be grateful for friends too.

581
00:29:15,356 --> 00:29:19,796
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, uh, I'm grateful for all my friends Emma

582
00:29:20,156 --> 00:29:24,036
Speaker 6: and Big Bird and Rosita and even.

583
00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:27,756
Speaker 1: Oscar, Oscar the Grouch. That's a fun gratitude challenge. Can

584
00:29:27,796 --> 00:29:30,396
Speaker 1: you think of a time when Oscar was kind? Ah,

585
00:29:30,516 --> 00:29:31,796
Speaker 1: that's easy, it is.

586
00:29:32,156 --> 00:29:32,836
Speaker 2: Yeah.

587
00:29:33,076 --> 00:29:37,036
Speaker 6: Oscar is kind when he takes care of his pet worm, Slimy.

588
00:29:37,516 --> 00:29:39,876
Speaker 2: Oh, he just loves that little worm.

589
00:29:40,116 --> 00:29:42,996
Speaker 1: See. We can even be grateful for grouches who no.

590
00:29:43,516 --> 00:29:45,996
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for practicing gratitude with me, Abby, I

591
00:29:46,036 --> 00:29:46,876
Speaker 1: think that's our show.

592
00:29:47,036 --> 00:29:50,356
Speaker 6: Well wait, wait, wait, I got one more thing I'm

593
00:29:50,356 --> 00:29:54,516
Speaker 6: grateful for. What's that for learning a new kind of magic,

594
00:29:55,116 --> 00:29:59,276
Speaker 6: the magic of gratitude? And for you, Doctor Lorie, for

595
00:29:59,436 --> 00:30:00,396
Speaker 6: teaching it to me.

596
00:30:00,796 --> 00:30:07,036
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, Abby Twinkloud. In the next episode of this

597
00:30:07,076 --> 00:30:10,436
Speaker 1: special collaboration are Sesame Street Friends will help us tackle

598
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:13,236
Speaker 1: the challenge of how we can better manage our big feelings.

599
00:30:13,676 --> 00:30:16,396
Speaker 1: Of course, Sesame Street is the place where sunny days

600
00:30:16,476 --> 00:30:19,116
Speaker 1: sweep the clouds away. But when I sat down to

601
00:30:19,196 --> 00:30:22,596
Speaker 1: chat with the next episode's guest, Big Bird, the street

602
00:30:22,756 --> 00:30:25,516
Speaker 1: was not so sunny. Isn't that right, Big Bird?

603
00:30:25,596 --> 00:30:26,876
Speaker 2: That's right, Doctor Lorie.

604
00:30:26,956 --> 00:30:30,316
Speaker 3: I was excited to roller skate around Sesame Street today,

605
00:30:30,676 --> 00:30:34,316
Speaker 3: but now it's all rainy and wet outside and I

606
00:30:34,396 --> 00:30:35,676
Speaker 3: can't skate anymore.

607
00:30:35,836 --> 00:30:38,636
Speaker 1: What strategies should we use when our plans get thwarted

608
00:30:38,916 --> 00:30:42,436
Speaker 1: and big feelings like disappointment or even sadness and anger

609
00:30:42,556 --> 00:30:44,876
Speaker 1: come up? To find out? Be sure to come back

610
00:30:44,916 --> 00:30:48,676
Speaker 1: for our next special Sesame Street episode, all about feelings.

611
00:30:49,116 --> 00:30:50,796
Speaker 2: I feel excited to hear it.

612
00:30:51,156 --> 00:30:58,876
Speaker 1: Me too, Big Bird, Me too. The Happiness Lab is

613
00:30:58,876 --> 00:31:01,876
Speaker 1: co written and produced by Ryan Dilley. Our original music

614
00:31:01,956 --> 00:31:05,316
Speaker 1: was composed by Zachary Silver, with additional scoring, mixing and

615
00:31:05,396 --> 00:31:09,036
Speaker 1: mastering by Evan Viola. Jess Shane and Alice Fines offer

616
00:31:09,156 --> 00:31:12,276
Speaker 1: additional production support. We'd like to thank the amazing Sesame

617
00:31:12,316 --> 00:31:17,196
Speaker 1: Street puppeteers Leslie Carrera, Rudolph Ryan Dylan, Eric Jacobson and

618
00:31:17,236 --> 00:31:19,796
Speaker 1: Matt Vogel, and special thank yous to the folks over

619
00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:25,956
Speaker 1: at Sesame Workshop, Emily Bandy, Alissa Chihi, Gabriella Dejannaro, Jessica Salvo, Mindy, Fila,

620
00:31:26,116 --> 00:31:31,516
Speaker 1: Rossio Galarsa, Akeimi Gibson, Ivan Gonzalez, Karen Leibovich, Rosemary Trulio,

621
00:31:31,716 --> 00:31:35,476
Speaker 1: Ka Wilson Stallings and Steve Youngwood. Special thanks to my agent,

622
00:31:35,516 --> 00:31:38,076
Speaker 1: Ben Davis and all of the Pushkin prew The Happiness

623
00:31:38,156 --> 00:31:41,036
Speaker 1: Lab is brought to you by Pushkin Industries. Any Doctor

624
00:31:41,076 --> 00:31:41,916
Speaker 1: Laurie Santos