1
00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:04,680
Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating Her Space.

2
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:10,840
Speaker 2: Walking into a room and seeing a black patient for

3
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,520
Speaker 2: both of us, and surely it's such a rarity that

4
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,479
Speaker 2: it almost leaves you breakfast for a moment. And I've

5
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,720
Speaker 2: walked into the room and before I could even say

6
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:26,000
Speaker 2: a word, the patients already cry because that changes the

7
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:31,760
Speaker 2: emotional environment and the emotional kind of climate of the

8
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,760
Speaker 2: room almost immediately for a lot of the black patient prices.

9
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,320
Speaker 2: Usually they're just in such shock and they usually ask me,

10
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,120
Speaker 2: you know, are you are you the doctor?

11
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,559
Speaker 3: Hey, lady, have you ever felt like the world just

12
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,199
Speaker 3: doesn't get you? Well?

13
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:53,520
Speaker 1: We do. Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated

14
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,880
Speaker 1: to uplifting and empowering women like you.

15
00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:02,960
Speaker 3: We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard and educator and psychologists.

16
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,040
Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.

17
00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:10,399
Speaker 3: Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from

18
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:15,200
Speaker 3: fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black

19
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,800
Speaker 3: women to just be.

20
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,840
Speaker 1: Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow

21
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,600
Speaker 1: button and leave us a quick five star review. Lady,

22
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,720
Speaker 1: We are black founded and black owned, and your support

23
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,960
Speaker 1: will help us reach even more women like you.

24
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:34,560
Speaker 3: Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

25
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:40,040
Speaker 1: If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps,

26
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,039
Speaker 1: this is for you. Hey, lady, is Tea here and

27
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,280
Speaker 1: I just want to invite you to my free goal map,

28
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,240
Speaker 1: like a pro coaching workshop, where I'll share the five

29
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,240
Speaker 1: proven steps to get unstuck and achieve your goals. Whether

30
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,560
Speaker 1: you're feeling overwhelmed by all your ideas, juggling scattered ideas,

31
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,000
Speaker 1: or maybe you just need confidence to start, this workshop

32
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,120
Speaker 1: will give you the clarity, tools and the motivation to

33
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,760
Speaker 1: take back control. Reserve your spot for free by visiting

34
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:12,040
Speaker 1: her spacepodcast dot com and clicking on the goal map

35
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,959
Speaker 1: like a pro webinar link. Lady, don't miss this chance

36
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,040
Speaker 1: to build a roadmap that fits your life and sets

37
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:21,120
Speaker 1: you up for success. I hope to see you there, Lady.

38
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:25,680
Speaker 1: If you've ever questioned whether you could break barriers, make history,

39
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,440
Speaker 1: and still lead with heart and spaces not built for you,

40
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:32,240
Speaker 1: then you need to hear from today's guest doctor, Chica.

41
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,920
Speaker 1: Stacy o'rioa is our powerhouse and a white coat and

42
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,760
Speaker 1: a force for change in and beyond the world of Medicine,

43
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,120
Speaker 1: named one of Time Magazine's Next Generation Leaders in twenty

44
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,919
Speaker 1: twenty one, and featured on McLane's Power fifty list in

45
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,840
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. She's blazing trails as a psychiatry resident

46
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:56,680
Speaker 1: at the University of Toronto and a proud graduate of

47
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,840
Speaker 1: their Temerity Faculty of Medicine. She's not just making waves,

48
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:06,080
Speaker 1: She's shifting systems, whether serving on boards, inspiring future physicians,

49
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,760
Speaker 1: or advocating for equity and healthcare. Doctor Arioa shows up

50
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,040
Speaker 1: with brilliance and boldness and y'all come in close with

51
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,359
Speaker 1: this one. Okay. If that wasn't enough, Mattel honored her

52
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,400
Speaker 1: as part of their Thank You Heroes campaign with a

53
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,760
Speaker 1: one of a kind barbie made in her image. Yes,

54
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,880
Speaker 1: y'all a barbie, Okay, a whole barbie. She recently established

55
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:32,840
Speaker 1: the Doctor Chica Riowa Award for the Advancement of Black

56
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:37,080
Speaker 1: Health at Tameriti Medicine, ensuring that the legacy of impact

57
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,400
Speaker 1: continues with the next generation of doctors. Trust me, lady,

58
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,840
Speaker 1: you're gonna want to lean all the way in for

59
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:45,600
Speaker 1: this episode. Okay, Doctor Chica Stacey o Rio, We welcome

60
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,720
Speaker 1: to cultivating her space.

61
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,120
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. It is truly

62
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,480
Speaker 2: an honor to be here, and the company would be

63
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,200
Speaker 2: two incredible womens.

64
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:56,680
Speaker 1: You are so welcome.

65
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,920
Speaker 3: We are so yes, yes, we are so looking forward

66
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:05,040
Speaker 3: to this conversation. And so our quote of the day,

67
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:11,000
Speaker 3: Doctor Chica. Our quote will sound very familiar to you,

68
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:19,680
Speaker 3: as these are your words. Celebrating yourself isn't arrogance. It's necessary.

69
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:26,960
Speaker 3: Own your story, your success, your shine. All right, I'm

70
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,240
Speaker 3: gonna repeat that one more time to make sure the

71
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:36,160
Speaker 3: folks in the back heard it. Celebrating yourself isn't arrogance,

72
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:49,279
Speaker 3: it's necessary, own your story, your success, your shine. Okay, Doctor,

73
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,880
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you love hearing it back, so glad.

74
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,400
Speaker 3: And I know when we were getting ready for the

75
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 3: show to start, you told us it was okay to

76
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:09,440
Speaker 3: call you Tika. I at least for the cold of

77
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,680
Speaker 3: the day. I had to put some respect on your name.

78
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:18,640
Speaker 3: And because calling you doctor is part of celebrating your success.

79
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:26,680
Speaker 2: Amen, that's one hundred percent true. You're definitely right about that. Yeah,

80
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:31,040
Speaker 2: And you know it's something it's really weird in medicine

81
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,240
Speaker 2: because I feel like in the common era, at least

82
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,720
Speaker 2: when I was going through medical training, there was a

83
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,080
Speaker 2: lot of emphasis on humanizing doctors, and part of that,

84
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,719
Speaker 2: at least from what I saw with my attendings and

85
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,640
Speaker 2: my mentors, was that when they introduced themselves, would just

86
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,440
Speaker 2: dropped a doctor. But as I was going through my

87
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:53,520
Speaker 2: medical training, I recognized how important it actually was for

88
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:59,120
Speaker 2: me to continue to call myself doctor Rioa and ensure

89
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,719
Speaker 2: that the patient understood that I was a physician, because,

90
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,960
Speaker 2: as I mentioned throughout my book, unlike the rest of

91
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:08,680
Speaker 2: Doctor's Story, there were many times even after I introduced

92
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:13,000
Speaker 2: myself as a physician, where they either forgot or they

93
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,240
Speaker 2: didn't think I was actually the doctor who was going

94
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,520
Speaker 2: to be taking care of them. So I think you're

95
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:22,320
Speaker 2: absolutely right. There's so much power that comes with owning

96
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,919
Speaker 2: and embracing my title, and you're right, every time that

97
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,159
Speaker 2: it is said and spoken into real, real words, real language,

98
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:34,839
Speaker 2: it's a celebration. So thank you for reaffirming that for me.

99
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:40,320
Speaker 1: Of course, that is so beautiful, and we have so

100
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,280
Speaker 1: much that we want to discuss with you, But can

101
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,720
Speaker 1: we start with your origin story? How did you become

102
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,719
Speaker 1: the doctor of Chica Stacey or Rioa that sits with

103
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,280
Speaker 1: us today.

104
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,240
Speaker 2: Absolutely so I would say I have a pretty interesting

105
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,560
Speaker 2: origin story, such that I was one of those individuals

106
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,400
Speaker 2: who knew what they wanted to be ever since they

107
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,520
Speaker 2: old enough to really articulate a dream into the future.

108
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,840
Speaker 2: And so my parents say that I was three years

109
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:10,800
Speaker 2: old when I proclaimed to the world aka my parents

110
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:15,040
Speaker 2: in our living room, that I wanted to be a doctor. Now,

111
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,160
Speaker 2: at this point in time, I had no concept of

112
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:23,040
Speaker 2: the brutally late nights, the painfully early mornings, what it

113
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,440
Speaker 2: felt like to bring in a life in the labor

114
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,480
Speaker 2: and delivery ward, or to hold a hand as they

115
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,880
Speaker 2: took their final breath, and a value of care ward.

116
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,720
Speaker 2: All I knew was that I was placed on this

117
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,520
Speaker 2: earth to help and to heal, and that I had

118
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:42,920
Speaker 2: this immense fascination with the human body, how it became ill,

119
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,880
Speaker 2: how it was we were able to restore it back

120
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,240
Speaker 2: and to get help. And I consider myself exceptionally fortunate

121
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,960
Speaker 2: such that this proclamation that I made at three years

122
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:58,720
Speaker 2: old was really really fit well into the academic interest

123
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,800
Speaker 2: that I had as I was going through elementary school

124
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,120
Speaker 2: in high school, I just really have this profound fascination

125
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,080
Speaker 2: or the sciences for math, like I would just say

126
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,640
Speaker 2: it was whe if my natural gifts was just being

127
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,720
Speaker 2: able to navigate the scientific world. But then also another

128
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,680
Speaker 2: gift that you know, I probably probably wear is my

129
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,080
Speaker 2: love for language, the dexterity that I have when it

130
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,440
Speaker 2: comes to language. I've been writing poetry ever since I

131
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,760
Speaker 2: was six years old, performing it ever since I was twelve.

132
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,720
Speaker 2: I've been public speaking ever since I was twelve, doing

133
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:36,160
Speaker 2: you know, public speaking competitions, and you know, was just

134
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:40,800
Speaker 2: really really strong when it came to English and just language.

135
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,000
Speaker 2: I like, linguistic skills was always something that I was

136
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:46,920
Speaker 2: very strong in. And I actually think that this was

137
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,640
Speaker 2: the perfect fertile ground for my career in medicine. So

138
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:54,920
Speaker 2: it wasn't just the science, because medicine really is the

139
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,400
Speaker 2: aunt of science, right, It's so much more than just theory.

140
00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:00,480
Speaker 2: It's how it is that we trans I got into

141
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:05,080
Speaker 2: the real world, bringing the humanistic element into the scientific world,

142
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,360
Speaker 2: and that is what makes the best doctors, not just

143
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,000
Speaker 2: someone who knows kind of everything. So I considered myself

144
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,280
Speaker 2: really fortunate to have this beautiful marriage of these two

145
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,520
Speaker 2: worlds I call the metaphor and medicine. Those are the

146
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,840
Speaker 2: two worlds that I exist within and kind of further

147
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,920
Speaker 2: to my academic journey. When I was in high school, again,

148
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,640
Speaker 2: I would consider myself definitely a bit of overn. I

149
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,800
Speaker 2: was certainly a very geeky kind of kid, but you know,

150
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,160
Speaker 2: I loved it, and I leaned, I leaned into it.

151
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,920
Speaker 2: But I was also someone that I think just naturally

152
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,440
Speaker 2: commanded respect from my peers. And I think that that

153
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,800
Speaker 2: is owing significantly to my authenticity. Like I've always been

154
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:48,080
Speaker 2: unapologetically black woman, feminine, Like that's always been something that

155
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,040
Speaker 2: I've been unapologetic about. And I was always kind of

156
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,600
Speaker 2: a nerd and that was something I was also unapologetic about.

157
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,160
Speaker 2: And when I graduated from high school, I graduated as valedictorian.

158
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,280
Speaker 2: And then I went on to do bachelor's Health Sciences

159
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:05,040
Speaker 2: honors degree at McMaster University, which was a diversity just

160
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,280
Speaker 2: outside of to Atop, like an hour outside of to Fronto,

161
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:14,439
Speaker 2: and I was the only black student in my undergraduate level,

162
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,520
Speaker 2: which presented with it a host of challenges which I'm

163
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,920
Speaker 2: sure we will dive into. And then when I was

164
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,680
Speaker 2: applying to medical school, I was eager to go to

165
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:29,120
Speaker 2: a medical school where there would be more rich and

166
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:33,760
Speaker 2: robust diversity because of growing up in Brampton, Ontario, especially

167
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,120
Speaker 2: as a daughter of Nigerian immigrants, there was quite a

168
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,080
Speaker 2: good amount of cultural diversity in my hometown and so

169
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,760
Speaker 2: to go from my hometown then to where I did university,

170
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,760
Speaker 2: it was almost a culture shock to see no other

171
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,840
Speaker 2: black kids, which you know, it wasn't accidental. I want

172
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,640
Speaker 2: to make that very clear, was not accidental that there

173
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:58,040
Speaker 2: were so few black kids in my very prestigious premedical program,

174
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,840
Speaker 2: and then to go to medical school and have that

175
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:05,680
Speaker 2: narrative repeated and then in fact prior to my Materrinity Leaves.

176
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,880
Speaker 2: So I just I you know, started residency in twenty twenty,

177
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,040
Speaker 2: right before I went on that lead, it had marked

178
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:17,640
Speaker 2: almost a full decade of being the only block student

179
00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:22,880
Speaker 2: in my post secondary education and slash training. And as

180
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,440
Speaker 2: I mentioned, I'm sure we'll dive into it in our

181
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:30,679
Speaker 2: discussions today, and I really explore this in depth in

182
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,920
Speaker 2: my memoir. Unlike the US A Doctor's story, but I

183
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,800
Speaker 2: you know, I would say, at the heart of my

184
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,440
Speaker 2: story is really one of advocacy and resilience because I

185
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:44,600
Speaker 2: really stared down the barrel of so many different kinds

186
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,640
Speaker 2: of tribunation while I was in medical school, and I

187
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,360
Speaker 2: had to make a lot of calculated and audacious risks

188
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,359
Speaker 2: as it pertained to fighting for equity and medical admissions

189
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:57,200
Speaker 2: that pose a very real threat to me professional were

190
00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:01,800
Speaker 2: also me personal well being and ultimate deciding to stand

191
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,400
Speaker 2: by who I was authentically along myself with my values,

192
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:09,840
Speaker 2: and it's led to this really incredible, beautiful journey. Will

193
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,800
Speaker 2: graduated as valedictorian of my medical school class. I also

194
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:19,680
Speaker 2: can currently owned my master's degree in Innovation and Leadership

195
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:24,359
Speaker 2: and went on to now be in my psychiatry residency

196
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 2: at the University of Toronto, which was my top choice

197
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:32,240
Speaker 2: residency program. And so the story has just been one

198
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,679
Speaker 2: that has been simply unexpected that at its core, it's

199
00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:40,120
Speaker 2: a story of belonging, which is a ubiquitous human sentiment.

200
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,320
Speaker 1: Okay, that is so incredible, and there's so much that

201
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,040
Speaker 1: we can unpack there. I have a couple questions for you.

202
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:50,280
Speaker 1: I just wanted to ask one. You're so impressive as

203
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,280
Speaker 1: you were speaking about you know, I have a four

204
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,080
Speaker 1: year old so you talked about knowing what you wanted

205
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,920
Speaker 1: to be at three years old, and I have a

206
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,360
Speaker 1: couple of things that came up in my mind. First,

207
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, how do we get more doctor Chicas in

208
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:03,080
Speaker 1: the world. I'm wondering, like, where did this unapologetic attitude

209
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 1: and confidence come from? And then also your aptitude for

210
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,360
Speaker 1: science and math. It sounds like you were a self started.

211
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,760
Speaker 1: But I guess the core question I have is what

212
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,400
Speaker 1: type of environment did you grow up in and what

213
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:18,000
Speaker 1: do you think contributed to you having that passion, that zeal,

214
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,360
Speaker 1: that that direction at such a young age. Because I'm

215
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,360
Speaker 1: sure parents are listening and we want we want more

216
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,559
Speaker 1: doctor Chickens in the world, So what can we do.

217
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,640
Speaker 2: Well? I firstly, thank you so much, John, I extend

218
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:34,280
Speaker 2: so much qualitude for that sentiment. You know, it's interesting because,

219
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:38,080
Speaker 2: as I mentioned, I am a daughter of Nigerian immigrants

220
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:42,360
Speaker 2: to Canada. Parents came they actually met in Canada in Montreal,

221
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,000
Speaker 2: but became independently in the nineteen eighties, had myself and

222
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,520
Speaker 2: my three siblings about the nineteen nineties. And you know,

223
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,680
Speaker 2: with African parents, you have the option of being like

224
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,960
Speaker 2: one of three things, right, like a doctor, a lawyer,

225
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,840
Speaker 2: an engineer, maybe a dentist, maybe a nurse. Like there's

226
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,960
Speaker 2: a few things that you can be, and so it's

227
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,880
Speaker 2: one of those things, and oftentimes I reflect back and

228
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,400
Speaker 2: be like, you know, I don't quite remember my life

229
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,360
Speaker 2: before three. Most of us don't. And who knows if

230
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,520
Speaker 2: there was like some subliminal coding or some like explicit

231
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,720
Speaker 2: encoding for my parents being like and you're going to

232
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,320
Speaker 2: be our doctor, and you're going to be our doctor,

233
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,440
Speaker 2: and then it's like, yeah, I guess I'll be a doctor,

234
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,800
Speaker 2: you know. So it's it's kind of it's kind of

235
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,800
Speaker 2: interesting to kind of see where that came from. But

236
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:32,360
Speaker 2: I would say that my drive towards academic success really

237
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,880
Speaker 2: came from both of my parents. My father was an

238
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:40,040
Speaker 2: educator back in Nigeria, and so he really embedded within

239
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:44,400
Speaker 2: as this profound insatiable rust for a meaning. And so

240
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,760
Speaker 2: when I was a kid, I got a dictionary for Christmas,

241
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 2: which at the time, I mean as someone again who

242
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,880
Speaker 2: was very nerdy and who loved languages and who loves words,

243
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,480
Speaker 2: it was something that I was actually like elated about it,

244
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,960
Speaker 2: and I thought it was like really like fun and cool.

245
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,160
Speaker 2: And then I got like a and the encyclopedia and

246
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,360
Speaker 2: like the stories, and I was like, well, this is

247
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,720
Speaker 2: amazing because I love to write poetry and so and

248
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:08,400
Speaker 2: I'm still that person who if I hear a beautiful,

249
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,640
Speaker 2: interesting word or a word that I've never heard before

250
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,680
Speaker 2: that has a certain texture or something, I will write

251
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,200
Speaker 2: it down. And I've had notebooks just like filled with

252
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,240
Speaker 2: different random words. And I think that that came from

253
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,360
Speaker 2: this foundation. This. You know that both of my parents

254
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 2: say doubt, but truly, you know, they had they had

255
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:30,840
Speaker 2: a very rare standard for myself and my siblings, and

256
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,520
Speaker 2: it was very much reinforced. We hadn't, you know, worked

257
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:37,960
Speaker 2: through math textbooks during our summer. And you know, I,

258
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,880
Speaker 2: in retrospect, do I think it was the healthiest way

259
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,800
Speaker 2: to push a child academically. I don't. I don't think so,

260
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,320
Speaker 2: Like I don't necessarily know if it was necessary, especially

261
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,360
Speaker 2: for a kid like me, Like I felt like I

262
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:56,360
Speaker 2: had that natural kind of innate drive towards wanting to

263
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:59,800
Speaker 2: do well academically, and I felt like there's there's a

264
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,680
Speaker 2: way that you can helpuly push a child or with

265
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:05,040
Speaker 2: a growth mindset instead of saying you know that you

266
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 2: are smart, because then if you fail or you make

267
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,320
Speaker 2: a misstep, then you know the contrary to that is

268
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,680
Speaker 2: that you're not smart. And so I had to really

269
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,040
Speaker 2: fight up against that notion. Throughout my life is this

270
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,960
Speaker 2: feeling of I'm either a perfect or I'm a failiate.

271
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,840
Speaker 2: And I feel like a lot of that came from

272
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 2: my upbringing in just the very you know, kind of

273
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,640
Speaker 2: strict standards that my parents had. But also, you know,

274
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,680
Speaker 2: when you're a child of an immigrants, you feel that

275
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:41,400
Speaker 2: you have to achieve in order to ensure that your parents'

276
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 2: sacrifices aren't in vain. And that's still a pressure that

277
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,600
Speaker 2: I continue to live with, and it was a large

278
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,840
Speaker 2: driver of why, you know, myself and my siblings, why

279
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,240
Speaker 2: we all show to be quite successful. I got both

280
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 2: of my sisters or lawyers once about a graduate from

281
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,800
Speaker 2: law school, and my little sister just got admitted to

282
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,000
Speaker 2: law school a couple of weeks ago. And my brother

283
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 2: is a writer for TV and film, and so there's

284
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 2: a lot of you know, we really pushed ourselves to

285
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,080
Speaker 2: kind of, you know, the pinnacle of success. Well, there's

286
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 2: definitely some things that as as I mentioned in the

287
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 2: book as well, that those early years for me really

288
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,000
Speaker 2: laid me led me down this path of what I

289
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 2: call toxic perfectionism, because I really really really struggled with

290
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,639
Speaker 2: the idea of being anything less than perfect, and that

291
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,399
Speaker 2: led me to developing disordered eating in my late teens

292
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,280
Speaker 2: and early twenties, which I talked about in the book

293
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,360
Speaker 2: as well. In front to that and having healed from

294
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,320
Speaker 2: that for sure, old over ten years from that, but

295
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,879
Speaker 2: still you know, really really really struggling with disordered beating.

296
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,360
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for sharing that and sharing your experience,

297
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 3: because I know, as someone who works with college age students,

298
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 3: I see it, right. I see the impact of how

299
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,640
Speaker 3: folks were raised and when they get outside of their

300
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,600
Speaker 3: family home and they're on their own for the first time,

301
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 3: how that manifests. And you're right that it can often

302
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 3: manifest in disordered eating in other mental health concerns, And

303
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:36,679
Speaker 3: so I thank you for sharing that. And if you

304
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 3: don't mind digging a little deeper, and I know you

305
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 3: talk about it in your book, but if we could

306
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:45,399
Speaker 3: dig a little deeper in this interview, what do you

307
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 3: think was the thing that helped you? What was the

308
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:56,000
Speaker 3: catalyst that helped you disengage from some of the disordered

309
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,240
Speaker 3: eating happens.

310
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 2: So I want to say that, you know, when it

311
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 2: came to my disordered eating, it was very, very very

312
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,880
Speaker 2: hard for me to even it was very hard for

313
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,480
Speaker 2: me to disentangle from a disorder eating because it was

314
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,199
Speaker 2: a coping mechanism for me. And I need, you know,

315
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 2: the audience slash the reader to appreciate and really really

316
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,439
Speaker 2: detailed this in my book that for me, there was

317
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:31,240
Speaker 2: no striving towards thinnedness. That was not the case for me,

318
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 2: and actually for a lot of individuals struggling with this

319
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 2: particular psychiatric disorder. For me, it was restricted eating. You know,

320
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 2: we tend to conflate this idea of an eating disorder

321
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,680
Speaker 2: with this wanting to be you know, stick thin or

322
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,479
Speaker 2: rail thing, that for me is not the case. I

323
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 2: simply was thrust into an environment and that for me

324
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 2: included a very tumultuous and unhealthy relationship when I was

325
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:03,199
Speaker 2: from seventeen to those twenty or nineteen or so, it

326
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,919
Speaker 2: was just very very unhealthy. And then the high academic

327
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:12,720
Speaker 2: rigor of my undergraduate program where everybody wanted to get

328
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 2: into medical school and everybody needed to have a perfect average,

329
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,959
Speaker 2: and there were so many things that felt like it

330
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 2: was out of my control. So restrictive eating for me

331
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 2: was a way to regain control in what felt like

332
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 2: the tail spin of my life. And I also talked

333
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 2: about this in the book as well, where I described

334
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:38,719
Speaker 2: that I was also raised very very Catholic, like super strict,

335
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 2: went to Catholic school from kindergarten right up until I

336
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,480
Speaker 2: went to university, and I talk about how, in reflection,

337
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 2: I didn't understand it at the time, but looking back,

338
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 2: I do think that the intense Catholic you know, indoctrination,

339
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 2: which I'm still Catholic, but at that time I went

340
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 2: from being like attending church two to three times a

341
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 2: week and then going to university and feeling that because

342
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 2: so many things were out of control in my life,

343
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 2: I felt that I was almost being tested by God.

344
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,919
Speaker 2: And in the Catholic faith, there was a lot of

345
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 2: notions of like fasting, and there's a lot of notions

346
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,200
Speaker 2: of like if you are able to, you know, rehold

347
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 2: yourself in certain maids and God will reward you. And

348
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 2: this was also a notion that I heard a lot

349
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 2: in my childhood when my mom would talk about her

350
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,919
Speaker 2: mother basting or starving herself for days on end. One

351
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 2: of the children was sick as a means of showing

352
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 2: God that, you know, like I am willing to be

353
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 2: observant and I'm willing to suffer in your name if

354
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 2: you'll just spare my child and say. There was a

355
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 2: lot of again like subliminal encoding when it came to

356
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 2: my religion, of like if I had done something wrong,

357
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 2: that things were going badly, this is one of the

358
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 2: ways I could atone And so a lot of it

359
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: was this like you know, self flagellation, this trying to

360
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 2: be extremely repugnant, and also at the same time feeling

361
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,439
Speaker 2: that I was unworthy or undeserving of proper nourishment and

362
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 2: that I had aired in some way that bringed to

363
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 2: be some kind of karma Greek calibration. So so many

364
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 2: things that were going through my mind. And what was

365
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: kind of unfortunate was that because I was so so

366
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,439
Speaker 2: used to excelling in so many ways, and because my

367
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 2: family was just especially my mom, because she was so

368
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 2: used to me being quite outstanding, they just assumed. And

369
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 2: I also told them that I'm just losing significant weight

370
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 2: because I'm studying so hard, and I was it was

371
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 2: so easy to mask it because I was just I'm

372
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 2: working so hard. I'm a Libi for twelve hourways out

373
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 2: of time, and that's why I'm not eating and therefore

374
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 2: that's why I'm losing weight. So I think step one

375
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 2: for me was recognizing that it was an unhealthy coping

376
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 2: organism which I work in about through therapy. And that

377
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 2: was therapy that at first I was quite reluctant to attend.

378
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 2: But my doctor was that you are so so so

379
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 2: un well. If you don't attend to be like this

380
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 2: could be a matter of life and death. And so

381
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:09,399
Speaker 2: I went. And it was this you know, really hard

382
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 2: confrontation with my reality that this was not a healthy

383
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 2: way to cope. And then I eventually was able to,

384
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: you know, through therapy. And I did all of this

385
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,360
Speaker 2: quite privately, like I didn't even tell my mom at

386
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 2: the time. And it wasn't until things got that again

387
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 2: about a few years later, and I was in my

388
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 2: first year of medical school, and after learning I was

389
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 2: your only black med student, there was a lot again

390
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,159
Speaker 2: that felt very much out of my control. On my

391
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 2: first day of med school, you know, being asked by

392
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,479
Speaker 2: another student in the class if they made it easier

393
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 2: for me to get into the med school because I

394
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 2: was the only black one, I needed lower criteria, if

395
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 2: I needed to have a lower GPA to be there.

396
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 2: So again it set me down. And this is not

397
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 2: me blaming that student, not at all. This was just

398
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 2: kind of in a context of everything, I was on

399
00:23:55,680 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 2: this path of toxic perfectionism that again triggered off the

400
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 2: disordered eating. Now I have a much more robust toolbox

401
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 2: of being able to emotionally regulate, to have the insight

402
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 2: that I didn't have. Now that I understand the origins

403
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,680
Speaker 2: of my disordered eating, I can now cope with it

404
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 2: a lot better. I was also extremely vulnerable and was

405
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 2: able to tell my friends and family what was actually transpiring.

406
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: And I mean, at that point, it was very obvious

407
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 2: I was extraordinarily underweight, and I looked to kept at it.

408
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 2: I looked very basic, and so it wasn't I couldn't

409
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 2: really hide it at that point. And so just having

410
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 2: the alignment of my mom to support and also the

411
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 2: forgiveness I think for my mom was an extraordinary part

412
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 2: of my hearing. And so I just I consider myself

413
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 2: so grateful to even be here, very considering how sick

414
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 2: I was, and now I just have so much to

415
00:24:55,640 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 2: live for that. You know, I'm very much You're able

416
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 2: to tap back into to a box like almost instantreaneously

417
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 2: subconscious and even if I ever do like things are

418
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: out of control, it is not the way that I

419
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 2: go about regulating things.

420
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing. I think there's a lot,

421
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 1: there's a lot to there's a lot to impact there,

422
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 1: and I think this is going to be super impactful

423
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: for the listeners. But one of the things I want

424
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 1: to do, I'm want to go back and talk about

425
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: your memoir titled Unlike the Rest, and if you could

426
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: share with us what does that title mean and what

427
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: inspired you to write this book at this time.

428
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 2: Absolutely so, the title of my memoir, as you mentioned,

429
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 2: is unlike the rest of the all thing is unlike

430
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: the rest of Doctor's story. But the title Unlike the

431
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,879
Speaker 2: Rest is actually a bit of a paradox of sports.

432
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 2: So it's kind of like a double uncentrect because yes,

433
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 2: quite literally, I was unlike the rest of my medical

434
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 2: school class. I was the only black student in a

435
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 2: cross of two fundred and sixty medical students at the

436
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 2: University of Toronto Inlay sixteen to twenty twenty. And the University,

437
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 2: or yes, the University of Toronto, is situated within Toronto,

438
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 2: which is one of the most culturally diverse cities in

439
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 2: the world, let alone the country of Canada, but in

440
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 2: the world, it is one of the most culturally diverse,

441
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 2: and so you know, one would expect that it would

442
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 2: I would not have found myself in that position, and

443
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 2: I certainly did, and so the title is a direct

444
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 2: play on that. But it's also a little bit of

445
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 2: a connundrum because as I was going throughout my medical

446
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 2: school journey and even into residency, I was often asked, well,

447
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 2: what makes you so different from the rest of the

448
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 2: black community that you were the one to be able

449
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 2: to come out and that idea of black exceptionalism. I

450
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 2: wanted to absolutely rip it apart. I do not subscribe

451
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 2: to at all. I actually think I might have been

452
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,439
Speaker 2: unlike the rest of my medical school class, but I

453
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 2: am exactly representative of the tenacity, the intellect to drive

454
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 2: the ambition, the success that can be found within the

455
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 2: black community if only we fully invested in the potential

456
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 2: of the black community, like I am not. I am

457
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 2: not unlike the rest of the black community. And so

458
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 2: I really, you know, and I really really drove that

459
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:33,479
Speaker 2: home and in the memoir as well, to really, you know,

460
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 2: dispel this idea that if they're if just if black

461
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 2: people just try hard enough, there will be more black doctors. Again,

462
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 2: this idea of meritocracy, it's a fallacy that you know,

463
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 2: these things often happen by design. This is systemic discrimination

464
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 2: and action. This is how we end up in these

465
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 2: kinds of places and spaces. And so I, you know,

466
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 2: just completely wanted to tear down this idea of black exceptionalism.

467
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 2: That's just not at all what I wanted to pay into.

468
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 3: Oh thank you for that. Yes, this idea of black

469
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 3: exceptionalism when the reality is that all of us, every

470
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:19,159
Speaker 3: black person is amazing, yes, and has plenty to offer

471
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 3: in any field that they choose.

472
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And that's and that's exactly it. You know, I

473
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: often say that, you know, medicine was where I was

474
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 2: able to find my zone of genius, as well as

475
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 2: public speaking and writing. Like, there's so many different areas

476
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 2: in which I find my zone of genius. But like

477
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 2: there are other areas and sectors where other Black individuals

478
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 2: are thriving and also are living in existing within their

479
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: zone of genius. So this is what it looks like

480
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 2: for me to operate at my highest level of excellence.

481
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 2: They'll look different everyone, And to your point or to

482
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 2: your question Terry about why now. I was actually approached

483
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 2: by Harper Collins when I was in my third year

484
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 2: of medical school. They had actually asked my now agent,

485
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 2: They asked him to reach out to me on behalf

486
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 2: of them, to see if I'd be interested in writing

487
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,959
Speaker 2: a story about my life, because they had seen some

488
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 2: of the articles I'd written, They've seen someone of the

489
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 2: poetry that I had performed, and the release, and so

490
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 2: they said, you must, you know, you must be a writer,

491
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 2: and I absolutely was. I never thought I would write

492
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 2: a memoir. I never thought I would write nonfiction. I've

493
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 2: always wanted to write like a thriller series like that

494
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 2: is so it speaks to my heart is to write

495
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 2: like a psychological thriller of fiction whatever. So at first,

496
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 2: when I was initially approached, it actually took me two

497
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,959
Speaker 2: years to get the book proposal together because a I

498
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 2: was in medical school and transitioning into residency in the pandemic,

499
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 2: and I'm like, there's just so many things going on

500
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 2: right now. So from twenty nineteen to twenty twenty one,

501
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: I kind of sat on the book proposal, and then

502
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 2: when I submitted it, I was able to get the

503
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 2: book deal almost almost instantly, and so you know, for me,

504
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 2: a large reason behind of course being approached to write

505
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: the book, but a large reason why I wanted to

506
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 2: write the book again is to dispel this idea of

507
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 2: black exceptionalism. I truly wanted people to understand, like, what

508
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 2: goes into creating a situation in which someone becomes dooming

509
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: about medical student. This is not accidental, it's not coincidental.

510
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 2: So I wanted to go a little bit into that.

511
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: I also wanted to be extremely vulnerable and candid about

512
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 2: some of the adversity that I'd face, namely the disordered eating.

513
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 2: That was the first time that I, you know, when

514
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 2: I wrote the book on my brest, it was the

515
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 2: first time that I talked publicly about my disordered eating.

516
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: And I've been keynoting and public speaking nationally and internationally

517
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 2: for the last ten years, and it's just been in

518
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 2: the last six months that I've talked about my eating disorder.

519
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 2: When I was, you know, a teenager and into my

520
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 2: early twenties, because I thought for a long time that

521
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 2: if I talked to bother people with these respect for me,

522
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 2: especially as a doctor, if people wouldn't respect a doctor

523
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: who didn't know how to take care of herself at

524
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 2: one point, and so that for me, you know, it

525
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 2: really took a lot of bravery, but also a reclaiming

526
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,719
Speaker 2: of my narrative. And that's exactly why I wanted to

527
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 2: write about that. But then I also wanted to go

528
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 2: into almost excruciating detail about what it was like for

529
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 2: me to be a black medical student in a mostly

530
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 2: you know, white, conservative institution of medicine, and what it

531
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 2: was like for me to kind of rut up against

532
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 2: a lot of the preconceived notions of blackness and femininity

533
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 2: and how these two things intersect within the medical world

534
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 2: and doing so in a very candid way, in a

535
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 2: very honest and painful way. I was hoping to also

536
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 2: close that chapter of my life because I've been talking

537
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 2: about this experience pretty much since twenty sixteen, so it's

538
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 2: been almost ten years that I've been talking about what

539
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 2: my experience was like being the only black met student.

540
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 2: And you know, the thing is, like, I have three

541
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,479
Speaker 2: degrees in science, and I am a best selling author,

542
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 2: and I am all of these different things, and so

543
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: it is time for me to also shift the definition

544
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 2: of my narrative, and I want to be able to

545
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 2: close that chapter to say, yes, this is what happened

546
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 2: to me, but it does not define me. And please

547
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 2: see me for the totality of my personhood, of my accomplishments,

548
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 2: of my intellect, Like what I bring to the table

549
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 2: is so much more than my trauma. So I'm really

550
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 2: hoping that once I leave this there, if anyone has

551
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 2: any questions in the future about like, you know, tell

552
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: me about the most traumatic racial experience you've had, like

553
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 2: it's in the book. And let's talk about the neuroscience

554
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 2: of innovation and neuroplasticity and how we can use affirmations

555
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 2: to change the neuro lungering of our brain. Like that's

556
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 2: the kind of stuff I love to talk about.

557
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 3: So yeah, lady, it's twenty twenty five, and we deserve

558
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 3: a space where we can show up just as we are,

559
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 3: ready to meet others just as they are. But does

560
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 3: that space even exist?

561
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: It sure does. I just created a Field account to

562
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 1: build my community dom and as a newly single woman

563
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,479
Speaker 1: who's dating, I'm looking for great dating experiences, but I

564
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 1: also want to create deeper connections. Let's tell you about Field.

565
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 2: Okay.

566
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: Field is not just a dating app. It's a space

567
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 1: where you can explore your desires, whether that's open relationships, polyamory, cuddling,

568
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: or just finding people who share your vibe. So think

569
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: brunch dates, wine tasting, or even a pottery class crew.

570
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 3: Ooh girl, okay, I think you might have had me

571
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 3: at brunch and wine tasting. But okay, wait, wait, wait wait?

572
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 3: How does Field make it different from the usual dating

573
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 3: apps like.

574
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: What's the energy girl? First of all, you don't have

575
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 1: to worry about that algorithm nonsense. You are in full

576
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: control of your experience and there's no pressure to swipe.

577
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: Oh you know what else I love too? You can

578
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 1: actually go back if you change your mind about someone,

579
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 1: and I know on some of these other apps, you

580
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:14,320
Speaker 1: swipe and you're.

581
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 2: Like, oh wait, I wanted to go I wanted to

582
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 2: the other way.

583
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,360
Speaker 1: So yeah, you can go back. Plus, they have this

584
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 1: constellation feature that lets you link up with your friends

585
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 1: or partners, so it's really like meeting people with your

586
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 1: community already in mind. And also, dom, you're gonna love this,

587
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 1: par okay coming close for this, y'all. Transparency is key.

588
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 1: This is a space where people are upfront about their

589
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 1: relationship styles and what they're looking for. So no more

590
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 1: guessing games, because y'all know how it is where you're

591
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 1: going app. You meet somebody who started like them, and

592
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: you find out they got fifty eleven baby mama's and

593
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 1: this relationship over here. Transparency is key over.

594
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 3: Here, Listen.

595
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:52,360
Speaker 2: I like that.

596
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 3: Okay, transparency. I love that. So no weird swiping games,

597
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 3: no worrying about being catfished. It's a space where people

598
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 3: actually like communicate, use their big people words like this

599
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 3: sounds refreshing.

600
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: Okay, exactly. And you know what else I love too.

601
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 1: It's not just about dating. You can literally use Field

602
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: to find friendships, travel buddies, or even creative collaborators. And

603
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 1: the thing is too dom If your desires or identity evolve,

604
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: it's not a big deal. What I read is that

605
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: sixty two percent of members actually shift their interests in

606
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: their first year on the app.

607
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 3: What okay, lady, I mean you had me at brunch

608
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 3: and wine tasting. But I think now I'm convinced. So

609
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 3: I know if I'm convinced, other people want to know,

610
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 3: where can they check this out?

611
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: I got y'all go download Field spelled fee l D

612
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: and it's pronounced like soccer field. Okay. On the app

613
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: Store or on Google Play. Get into it. And if

614
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 1: y'all see me on Field, stop by Hello. Okay, because

615
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: I'm on now I'm building our community.

616
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 3: All right, y'all, So go check out Field and let

617
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 3: us know what you think. Yes, changing the narrative and

618
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 3: putting that chapter, putting an end to that chapter. And

619
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 3: so you mentioned a few things that you were like, Okay,

620
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 3: once I'm done talking about this book, this is what

621
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 3: I really want to shift to, and I do, I

622
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 3: do want us to come back to that. But first,

623
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 3: as you talk about your experience as a black medical student,

624
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 3: what it makes me think about is if this is

625
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 3: what this was, how you were being treated as a

626
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 3: colleague by your peers, then what must be the experience

627
00:36:54,960 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 3: of black patience. And we know that medical race is real,

628
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 3: particularly we know for sure in the United States, and

629
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 3: so can you talk to us about what your experience

630
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 3: has been advocating for patients who are experiencing medical racism

631
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 3: while at the same time you are navigating your own

632
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 3: racial trauma.

633
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So, you know, it's really interesting and I talked

634
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 2: about this a lot in the book, the experience of

635
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: walking into a room and seeing a black patient for

636
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 2: both of us. Surely, it's such a rarity that it

637
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,839
Speaker 2: almost easy breakfast for a moment, and I've walked into

638
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 2: the room and before I could even say a word,

639
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 2: the patients already crying. Because that changes the emotional environment

640
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 2: and the emotional kind of climate of the room almost immediately.

641
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 2: For a lot of the black patients PIESE. Usually they're

642
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,359
Speaker 2: just in such shock and they usually asked, you know

643
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 2: you are you the doctor? I mean, this was, you know,

644
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 2: especially ten years ago when I started my training and

645
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: we were significantly less black doctors and Toronto them there

646
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 2: are now based to the Blacks and Application program for

647
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,879
Speaker 2: which An is a huge advocate for, and so we're

648
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 2: seeing a lot more black medical chanininge. But ten years

649
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 2: ago that was the case. And so if I were

650
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 2: to walk into and it would be just for the patient,

651
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 2: it felt like it was like almost a life altering

652
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 2: exchange because they needed it to be vulnerable and candidate

653
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 2: and they might not have felt comfortable to do so otherwise.

654
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 2: And I actually talk about a few of these experiences

655
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 2: within the book, and of course for patient confidentiality, I

656
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 2: thought to significantly alter, you know, kind of the details

657
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 2: on the placement and the setting and everything of the

658
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:53,440
Speaker 2: real patients. But one of the anecdotes that I shared

659
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 2: in a clinical vignette in my book was a patient

660
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 2: who was of my gain background, was coming in with

661
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 2: his son to the psychiatric emerge and he had believe

662
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 2: it was schizo effective disorders plenty or something of that nature.

663
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 2: And you know, it was just extraordinarily sick, very very

664
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 2: unwell boredlys a goot it. And it was his son

665
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 2: who had said to me, you know, thank you so

666
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 2: much for being his doctor, and can you ensure that

667
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 2: the other doctors understand that my dad won't hurt them.

668
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 2: He's not violent. He wouldn't hurt anyone, even if he's

669
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 2: as sick as he a. He is not a violent person.

670
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 2: And that patient or that patient son advocating on behalf

671
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 2: of his father and recognizing that especially in a place

672
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 2: like a psychiatric emerge where there absolutely is differential treatment

673
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 2: or that the effort to the frontal treatment is, according

674
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 2: to the research, absolutely permeated, that these environments and need

675
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 2: to you know, either over betificate for medication or even

676
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 2: like a misdiagnosis, or inappropriately, you know, removing someone's voluntary

677
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:11,760
Speaker 2: right to leave the hospital, so higher rates of involuntary admission.

678
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:15,799
Speaker 2: There's just so many things that can penetrate into into

679
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 2: that environment. So to have that teatent time, you know,

680
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 2: just very explicitly say we are so fortunate to have

681
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 2: me here. I feel I feel better knowing that my

682
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 2: dad is in the care of your hands specifically, and

683
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 2: say you know, and that kind of exchange. It happened

684
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 2: all the time every time that we walk into a

685
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 2: room with the black teacher. You know, either they're they're

686
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 2: thanking me, or they're congratulating me, or they're reaping the

687
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 2: sovereign or elated. There was also an experience I had where,

688
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 2: you know, on a much more positive side, I had

689
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 2: a again another critical than yet a father coming in

690
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:58,359
Speaker 2: with his daughter and asking, you know, about her hair.

691
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 2: We have finished most of the medical EPLOATM and then

692
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 2: he had asked about her hair if he saw my

693
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 2: hair was in a particular way, and then it was

694
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 2: kind of healthy and growing and flourishing, and he was like,

695
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 2: I don't know how to take care of my brother's there,

696
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 2: and you know, he really needed some help. So I

697
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 2: spent an extra hour with this patient writing out a

698
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,919
Speaker 2: natural hair care guide that I can provide to them

699
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,840
Speaker 2: so that they on a budget to you know, not

700
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 2: not the super expensive you know brands, but things that

701
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,319
Speaker 2: you could god along the house to make you know,

702
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 2: diy you know, deepconditioner so that you can you know,

703
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,400
Speaker 2: get your curls pop in and get you know, things straight.

704
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 2: And so you know, that was also based on a

705
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,439
Speaker 2: real experience that I had. So there were so many

706
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 2: moments of magic that would transpire between myself and black patients.

707
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: And at the same time, you know, being a doctor

708
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 2: does not provide me to security against racism. Like right

709
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 2: before I went on my maternity lead, I had an

710
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,400
Speaker 2: experience with a patient who came into the psyche emerge.

711
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 2: We spent all night, you know, researching things about me.

712
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: The themselves were very very very sick, very Unwelsh, but

713
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: they had spent all night research and things about me

714
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 2: and came in the emergency department looking for me, extremely

715
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 2: irate and trying to get me removing the hospital because

716
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 2: they didn't believe that I was a real doctor. I

717
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 2: thought it was impossible to clear that they were reading

718
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 2: a lot of the way that I would get for

719
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 2: people who would attack my credentials and my narrative being

720
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 2: at the hospital, which is something that I've had to

721
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 2: live with for the last time years. So there is

722
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 2: really risk to doing this work when you're a public

723
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 2: facing advocate and the new black position as well.

724
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 1: Wow wow, wow, the stories you told were so encouraging,

725
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 1: but also I'm sure relatable because I know I've been

726
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 1: in situations with the black doctor and I'm just like,

727
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's you. You're here, you know. But

728
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 1: then it's so heartbreaking to hear about the fact that

729
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: still people just don't respect the investment that you've made yourself,

730
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 1: the sacrifices and where you are. I'm thinking about black women,

731
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: black people who are listening who may want to pursue

732
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 1: a field in medicine, and I'm trying to think, I'm sure,

733
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,320
Speaker 1: you know, they can find this in the book as well,

734
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 1: which we're add link sports so they can purchase that,

735
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 1: but can you maybe share like five tips or five

736
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 1: truths that can either encourage them on the journey or

737
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: sometime I'm trying to think of things that only you

738
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 1: would know because of your unique experience. It's something that

739
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: you can give them that they can walk away with

740
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:29,280
Speaker 1: if they're in that space by themselves.

741
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, the first thing I would say, it's

742
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:37,879
Speaker 2: just trying to stay deeply connected. And sometimes that form

743
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:42,280
Speaker 2: the connection might come from outside of your academic environment

744
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 2: or your professional world. If I found that for myself

745
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:48,760
Speaker 2: when I was in the depth of my own personal

746
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 2: struggles in medical school, dealing with the anxiety, the depression,

747
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 2: and the perfectionism, the disorder eating, my initial and reflective

748
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 2: kind of thought was to all myself inwards, was to withdraw,

749
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 2: was to get socially disconnected, which is one of the

750
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,359
Speaker 2: signs of detection. And you know, these these other kind

751
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:12,320
Speaker 2: of new disorders of people tend to get distempted from everyone,

752
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 2: even if people who could potentially be a support. And

753
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 2: so one of the things that saved me and field

754
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 2: me was reaching out to even one person, even one person,

755
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 2: even when it felt impossible, even when I thought that

756
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 2: it was making you was pay to help me. Just

757
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 2: reaching out to that one person, I would say, So

758
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 2: that's step one. Is a state connectic. It could also

759
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 2: say it saves lives, right. The second thing I would

760
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 2: say is that if you can find a mentor, and

761
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 2: this is even once that Purdy, even if I'm a sponsor,

762
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: someone who is going to advocate advocate for you in

763
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 2: the spaces that you cannot have to work, right, That's

764
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,439
Speaker 2: what a sponsor is going to be for you. And

765
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 2: what I would say is that a sponsor or, a

766
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 2: mentor might not look exactly packaged in the way you

767
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 2: think they will, right. And I was fortunate to have

768
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,359
Speaker 2: black female mentors in medical school, but I also had

769
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 2: some exceptional non black and non female mentors as well,

770
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 2: and they were riding out for me in places that

771
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 2: I could never step foot, and they were setting up

772
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 2: opportunities for me in the ways that I could have

773
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 2: never imagined in. Some of the people who are the

774
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 2: biggest quarterbacks of my life are neither black nor female.

775
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 2: And so I think it's so incredibly important to not

776
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 2: block our blessings just in case you don't come pack

777
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 2: us in a way that we think that you look.

778
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 2: Especially if you are a black woman in a conservative

779
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 2: academic space, you might not have anyone else that looks

780
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 2: like you, And that doesn't mean that you don't deserve

781
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 2: to still get access to that mentorship. So that would

782
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 2: be the second thing that I would say to be

783
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,440
Speaker 2: incredibly important. The third thing that I would say, you

784
00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:00,880
Speaker 2: know is to find real meaningful way to that's in

785
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: your self care. I would say self preservation, right, it

786
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,280
Speaker 2: goes a step beyond this self care, and I understand

787
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 2: that it looks very different than everyone. Like for me,

788
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 2: some of that only you know. Getting through some of

789
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 2: my hardest ways in my data nights, was was only

790
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 2: possible to listening to an accessive amount of spoken word

791
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:25,319
Speaker 2: poetry like death Dam poetry videos from Like You Know

792
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 2: two thousand and five, two thousand and four whenever it

793
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 2: was aired, and listening to button poetry like Sarah Okay.

794
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 2: And I learnt a lot about this in the book.

795
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 2: Like for me, there were days that I couldn't even

796
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 2: burn myself to get out of bed in medical school,

797
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 2: and so I would just sit there and listen to

798
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 2: poetry on end until I got enough strength to like

799
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 2: get up and go take the shower. You know. So

800
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 2: there are days where you need to figure out what

801
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 2: suff can looks like for you. And I would absolutely say,

802
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 2: you know, if you have the september before, if you

803
00:46:56,520 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 2: have the privilege to have a pack, help to a

804
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 2: therapist or just to a counselor for something of that nature,

805
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 2: that for me was imperative to by hearing of course

806
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:11,279
Speaker 2: in bias and in psychiatry. I think that everybody in

807
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:14,800
Speaker 2: good times and bad which is a huge highlight highlight

808
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:18,319
Speaker 2: high art therapy can be beneficial and is beneficial in

809
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 2: every stage and phase of life. So if you're already

810
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 2: doing well mentally, just helps a preserve it and if

811
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 2: you're not, this will help to restore it. So, you know,

812
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: but I recognize that it is a privilege in Canada,

813
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 2: very expensive. You know, not all in ships covers it,

814
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 2: So I recognize that. And if you don't have the

815
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 2: capacity to access Monty, you know, to act with therapy,

816
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 2: you can still try to do some of that investigative work,

817
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 2: investigative diggings in journaling, which has real profound science in

818
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: the neuroscience around how it is that journaling can be

819
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 2: very neuroprotective for us and help to combat some of

820
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:57,759
Speaker 2: the symptoms of anxiety and depression, you know, and liu

821
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:01,319
Speaker 2: of being able to get connected to as the way

822
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 2: that you can support and protect your brain, helping your

823
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 2: mental health. So I think I might have decided, but

824
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 2: I mean I always have so much, so many words

825
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 2: of advice to give and never forget the power of

826
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 2: your voice. That's a lot. Never ever, ever forget the

827
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 2: power and the strength that comes with your voice, even

828
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 2: if it's a shape, even if it shakes, even if

829
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:28,359
Speaker 2: it's a whisper. Never forget the power of your voice.

830
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you for that. And so I'm just going

831
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:34,919
Speaker 3: to run it back for the folks to make sure

832
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 3: that they caught they caught these. So I heard community

833
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 3: mentors and sponsors self preservation or self care therapy and

834
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:58,280
Speaker 3: if you don't have access to therapy journally and never

835
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:07,880
Speaker 3: forgetting the power of your voice. Yeah, yeah, okay, doctor Chica,

836
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 3: you have dropped so much important information, not just about yourself,

837
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 3: but about what other people can take from your experiences

838
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:30,400
Speaker 3: and their own experiences. And so we keep mentioning your book,

839
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 3: your memoir. Yes, yes, that came out in October. So

840
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 3: let's let's tell the people where they can find it

841
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 3: and how they can connect with you, particularly around the

842
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 3: other facets of your life outside of being an amazing doctor.

843
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, so you can get I'm like, that's the

844
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 2: Doctor's Story any where. The books are so much so

845
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 2: you can get it online at your favorite Cree tailer,

846
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 2: on my retailer, you can also get it can believe

847
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:05,839
Speaker 2: well if you're in a fail that you can get

848
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 2: an in store reading get online. It's also available as

849
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 2: an audiobook, so you can get it through Audible or

850
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,240
Speaker 2: Apple or whatever it is that you get your audio

851
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 2: book and you can stay connected with me. My handle

852
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 2: on social media on social media is at doctor Chica

853
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 2: oh Real Live d R C H I k A

854
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 2: r I U w A, and my website is www

855
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 2: dot doctor Chicaora dot com. So I look forward to

856
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:38,919
Speaker 2: being connected and with your community. And I also love, love,

857
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 2: love hearing people's feedback on the book and how it

858
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 2: resonated with them. And I've heard so many stories back

859
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 2: from other black women, especially who you know, because it

860
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 2: really is a love letter to black women, and so

861
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 2: being able to hear how it is that it would

862
00:50:56,719 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 2: received within our community is something that close with the

863
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 2: long seal gratitude. And so I want to thank you

864
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,399
Speaker 2: to author Dom and Toys for giving me this opportunity

865
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 2: to fait your community with you, but to also be

866
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 2: able to connect with your community here on the podcast.

867
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. We are so grateful for you

868
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 1: and your presence and the work in the world and

869
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 1: what you're going to continue to do because I have

870
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:25,399
Speaker 1: a feeling this is just the beginning and when you

871
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,240
Speaker 1: release your psychological thriller, you're gonna have to come back

872
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 1: ask us that. No, we'll have to do that. Thank

873
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 1: you so much.

874
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,919
Speaker 2: We appreciate you so much.

875
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 4: Hey lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

876
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:45,439
Speaker 4: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

877
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:50,959
Speaker 4: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

878
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 4: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

879
00:51:56,440 --> 00:52:01,919
Speaker 4: That's d R D O M I N I que

880
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:09,279
Speaker 4: B r ou Ssard dot com to schedule a free

881
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 4: fifteen minute consultation.

882
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 3: I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for tuning

883
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 3: into Cultivating her Space. Remember that while this podcast is

884
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:25,319
Speaker 3: all about healing, empowerment, and resilience, it's not a substitute

885
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 3: for therapy. If you or someone you know needs support,

886
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 3: check out resources like Therapy for Black Girls or Psychology Today.

887
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 3: If you love today's episode, do us a favor and

888
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,319
Speaker 3: share it with a friend who needs some inspiration, or

889
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:45,399
Speaker 3: leave us a quick five star review. Your support means

890
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 3: the world to us and helps keep this space thriving.

891
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:53,919
Speaker 1: And before we meet again, repeat after me. My actions

892
00:52:54,000 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: are aligned with purpose, leading to continuous transformation. Keep driving, Lady,

893
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 1: and tune in next Friday for more inspiration from cultivating

894
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 1: her Space. In the meantime, be sure to connect with

895
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at her Space Podcast