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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: So abuse of any kind is a sign that this

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Speaker 2: relationship needs to be done, and I understand the complexity

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Speaker 2: involved when there is abuse. I understand the cycle of

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Speaker 2: abuse that oftentimes it takes us multiple attempts to walk away,

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Speaker 2: But lady, you keep trying.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 2: women like you. We're your hosts doctor Dominique Broussard, a

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Speaker 2: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 3: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 3: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 3: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 3: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where

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Speaker 3: black women can just be.

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Speaker 2: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

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Speaker 2: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 2: of California in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

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Speaker 2: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brussard dot com.

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Speaker 2: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 2: U E B R O U ssard dot com to

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Speaker 2: schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look forward to

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Speaker 2: hearing from you. Our quote of the day. Y'all get

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Speaker 2: ready for this one. Six letters two words, easy to say,

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Speaker 2: hard to explain, harder to do. Move on. Now I'm

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Speaker 2: run that back and say one more time for the

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Speaker 2: people in the back, because, as our quote emphasizes, it

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Speaker 2: is hard to do. Six letters, two words, easy to say,

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Speaker 2: hard to explain, to do, Move on. The author of

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Speaker 2: this genius quote is unknown. Lettie. This quote right here,

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Speaker 2: this quote right here.

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Speaker 3: Ooh mm hmm, this quote right here really hits. And

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Speaker 3: when you read that, IBus just like, but it's so hard,

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Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking, So hard it is. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: what do you think about this quote? Down?

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Speaker 2: You know, when I hear this quote, I think about

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Speaker 2: all of the previous relationships, situationships, quick dating, whatever you

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Speaker 2: want to call it, interactions with men in my life

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Speaker 2: in the past. Right, And I recognize that moving on

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Speaker 2: is so complex and so nuanced, and it truly is

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Speaker 2: dependent upon the circumstances in which you find yourself.

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Speaker 3: I'm with you that. I mean, I think you hit

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Speaker 3: the nail on the head. It is complex. I think

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Speaker 3: that the human experience is just complex. That's that's all

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Speaker 3: I got. It's like, it's complex. So, lady, we're just

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Speaker 3: gonna go ahead and just set the show up and

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Speaker 3: just jump into this juicy conversation because it's complex and

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Speaker 3: it's an important conversation topic to talk about. And as

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Speaker 3: we all know, relationships are a fundamental part of our lives, right,

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Speaker 3: providing love, companionship, support, all that good stuff. But what

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Speaker 3: happens when a once thriving connection begins to fade? How

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Speaker 3: do we know when it's time to let go? Right? So, Lady,

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Speaker 3: in this episode, we are going to cover nine signs

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Speaker 3: that may indicate it's time to move on from a relationship.

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Speaker 3: And these signs are crucial to recognize. They can also

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Speaker 3: help us make difficult decisions our own well being. Even

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Speaker 3: though it may be very challenging and hard to do

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Speaker 3: in the well being of our partners. And so, whether

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Speaker 3: you're questioning the health of your own relationship or simply

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Speaker 3: seeking a deeper understanding of the signs that can signal change,

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Speaker 3: this episode is for you, and you definitely want to

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Speaker 3: stay until the end because we want to give you

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Speaker 3: an opportunity to ponder on some reflection questions and also

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Speaker 3: share your insight on what are the signs that you

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Speaker 3: think we need to be aware of and be thinking

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Speaker 3: of when it comes to leaving a relationship. So, dom,

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Speaker 3: I feel like we should dive into storytime or some

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Speaker 3: reflection questions to help ground us further before we jump

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Speaker 3: into these sevens or these nine signs. Excuse me?

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Speaker 2: Yes, nine, nine?

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Speaker 3: Fine.

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Speaker 2: So I think it's important to think about, you know,

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Speaker 2: what has kept you in a relationship past its expiration date?

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Speaker 2: I know for me personally, when I when I hear

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Speaker 2: that question, the first thing I think about is how

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Speaker 2: do I know that we've hit an expiration date? Because

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Speaker 2: sometimes you might be in denial, you might be not

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Speaker 2: in tune, So the awareness isn't there to recognize that, yeah,

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Speaker 2: this relationship has run its course. And so I think

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Speaker 2: that that might be something that keeps you there past

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Speaker 2: the expiration date because you don't even realize us that

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Speaker 2: you've hit that expiration date.

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Speaker 3: Amen to that, which is why I think relationship checkings

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Speaker 3: are important, because that just gives you space to reflect

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Speaker 3: in aligne without having to potentially have an awkward conversation

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Speaker 3: out of the blue. But girl, speaking of what's kept

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Speaker 3: me in a relationship past this experts date, let's jump

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Speaker 3: into I'm going to share some of my personal experience,

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Speaker 3: but also experiences of friends and whatnot and things that

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Speaker 3: we probably all heard, right, So one, let's let's be rare.

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Speaker 3: Let's keep it a buck. Okay, the sex sometimes shit

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Speaker 3: hit the fan. You know this relationship ain't going nowhere.

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Speaker 3: But she was like that did good.

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Speaker 2: Fast fasts?

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Speaker 3: Good good?

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Speaker 2: Ha's ket plenty of people in a relationship past it's exploration.

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Speaker 3: Wow, And that makes it complex, right because she's like,

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Speaker 3: you do my body so well? Like I really love

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Speaker 3: this part of the connection, but everything else is just

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Speaker 3: shit show? Right, So the sex, right, I would say. Also, Dom,

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Speaker 3: I don't know if this is necessarily me, but I've

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Speaker 3: heard friends talk about the comfort. Right, You're just you're

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Speaker 3: accustomed to this person. You've been Latin. It's routine, it's

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Speaker 3: a part of your routine, right, and you're comfortable, Like

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Speaker 3: why do I I don't want to go meet someone

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Speaker 3: else and do the extra work because this is my

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Speaker 3: comfort zone, right Dating.

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Speaker 2: The knee streets is hard, so you might be like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to do my known, veritable right here,

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Speaker 2: Like why do I need to add new things into

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Speaker 2: the mix?

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm yep, this is what I know. I would say.

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Speaker 3: Another is there's this idea that the time invested in

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Speaker 3: something guarantees longevity or I'm trying to think of how

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Speaker 3: to word that. Does that make sense?

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Speaker 2: Time?

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Speaker 3: But the time invested guarantees longevity? Does that make sense?

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Speaker 2: It makes sense, but it doesn't like you know what

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Speaker 2: I understand?

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Speaker 3: Don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't agree with that to that, Yes.

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Speaker 3: But have you seen people get caught up in that

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Speaker 3: where you're like, you know what, But I've invested fifteen

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Speaker 3: years of my life in this relationship. I gotta make

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Speaker 3: it work. I gotta stay.

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Speaker 2: You don't, No, you don't.

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Speaker 3: That's fifteen years I lived experience. It's fifteen years of

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Speaker 3: lessons learned. And now you you are you can if

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Speaker 3: you so choose, go out and embark on a new

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Speaker 3: journey and begin begin something new. Right, So I would

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Speaker 3: say that boredom. Sometimes it's just like I'm just it's

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Speaker 3: Saturday night. Oh got shit to do. I'm gonna just

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Speaker 3: call up like you know, right right? Two more another

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Speaker 3: not wanting to add to the body count. I think

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Speaker 3: that is a thing.

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Speaker 2: It is a thing that we need to let go.

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Speaker 3: I say, I don't subscribe to the body I feel

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Speaker 3: like it's only the body count is only for women

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Speaker 3: up here, Like when you go to social media or

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Speaker 3: you have conversations with folks, it seems like it's primarily

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Speaker 3: for women because men cannot just do whatever they want

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Speaker 3: to do. That's what That's what I sense. But I

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Speaker 3: don't subscribe to that. Lady. You do what you want

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Speaker 3: to do, Do what you want to do with your body,

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Speaker 3: your body, your choice. Okay. So that I definitely heard

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Speaker 3: friends like, oh man, well, I want to keep my

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Speaker 3: number down to three. So I'm just gonna circle back

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Speaker 3: to this toxic this toxic person, because I just want

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Speaker 3: to keep that number. Girl, you better go, you better go,

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Speaker 3: get you some and be safe and all. That's like,

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Speaker 3: be safe and you know, secure, but go get you something.

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Speaker 3: And then the last thing I would say is least

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Speaker 3: two would be like insecurity and loneliness. So I'm just

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Speaker 3: going to say like, as a you know mother that's

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Speaker 3: two years postpartum, Oh, that experience is something else, right,

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Speaker 3: And I'm thinking about moms stuff talked to where it's like, well,

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Speaker 3: my body's changed. Who else is gonna want my body?

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Speaker 3: After having given birth and had these transitions in My

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Speaker 3: partner knows my body. They've been here, they were on

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Speaker 3: this journey with me. So going into a new person

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Speaker 3: and I'd rather just again go back to that comfort zone, right,

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Speaker 3: So it could be some of the insecurities around body

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Speaker 3: or other things, and then also loneliness. Those are some

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Speaker 3: of the things that I think keep people in a

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Speaker 3: relationship past the expression date, the children as well, the

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Speaker 3: children as well. Yes, girl, hey lady, have you ever

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Speaker 3: been listening to the podcast and been like, damn, I

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Speaker 3: wish I could be in the same room with doctor

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Speaker 3: dom T and the other listening ladies. Well you ain't

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Speaker 3: the only one. Dom and I often talk about how

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Speaker 3: we wish we could bring our authentic sisterhood energy to

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Speaker 3: you in real life.

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Speaker 2: So on Saturday, July eighth, twenty twenty three, at seven pm,

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Speaker 2: we are hosting a live podcast show and meet and

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Speaker 2: greet in Oakland, California. And guess what, lady, You're invited.

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Speaker 2: We even have an exclusive VIP experience where you can

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Speaker 2: meet with us one on one and attend a turk

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Speaker 2: class with us if you so choose. Did somebody say,

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Speaker 3: Visit herspacepodcast dot com to learn more and register today

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Speaker 3: before tickets sell out.

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Speaker 2: People are more likely to say in marriages and say

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Speaker 2: that it's it's for the kids. And I cannot stress

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Speaker 2: enough that the kids should not be the reason that

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Speaker 2: you stay. The kids actually should be the reason that

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Speaker 2: you leave, because the kids, whether they are articulating it

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Speaker 2: to you or not, they are observing and absorbing all

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Speaker 2: of those interactions between you and your partner, and you

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Speaker 2: choosing to stay for them is not going to be

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Speaker 2: healthy for your kids In the long run. Your kids

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Speaker 2: are going to start acting out your relationship with them

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Speaker 2: may change, and you are also modeling for them and

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Speaker 2: setting the foundation for how they view relationships in the future.

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Speaker 2: And so while it might not be easy if the

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Speaker 2: kids are the reason, the sole reason that you're trying

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Speaker 2: to stay, let's turn that around and make the kids

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Speaker 2: the sole reason why you want to leave, because you

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Speaker 2: want to create a healthier environment for them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would agree that, dumb and you hear that

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Speaker 3: often right, People say they stay for the kids, And

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Speaker 3: of course, lady, everyone has their own journey. We always

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Speaker 3: want to say, you're going to, you know, do what's

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Speaker 3: best for you. I personally do subscribe to the belief

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Speaker 3: that mommy, like the parents, need to be okay as

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Speaker 3: individuals in order for them to show up for the children.

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Speaker 3: And the thing about it is children are resilient. I

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Speaker 3: would much rather I think about my upbringing and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I think that, you know, certain people my family probably

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Speaker 3: should have separated versus having us a toxic environment, because

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Speaker 3: my thing is, why be dysfunctional as fuck and have

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Speaker 3: us in this abusive, dysfunctional environment just to say, oh,

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Speaker 3: we stayed together, we've been married for x amount of years,

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Speaker 3: but it was still toxic and detrimental to our growth

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Speaker 3: and development. Whereas you could have just separated, did you had?

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Speaker 3: You know whatever, If the kids are going back and

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Speaker 3: forth to environments, maybe it would be a more positive

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Speaker 3: environment because the two people are not together in this

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Speaker 3: toxic space. So I think that doing what's best for

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Speaker 3: the adult and children ourbis of course, keeping the children

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Speaker 3: in mind, right, so having a safe and secure environment

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Speaker 3: for them, but making sure that the adults are whole

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Speaker 3: and supported and they're on their growth the journey. Because

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Speaker 3: kids are resilient, they're going to be okay. And I

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Speaker 3: think that a child will thrive a lot better with positive, free,

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Speaker 3: happy parents than yours that are just trying to stay

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Speaker 3: together to meet this. I don't know societal expectation or

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Speaker 3: to just to say that they've been together for X

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Speaker 3: amount of years, that just it doesn't mean to me.

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Speaker 2: So it doesn't, it doesn't.

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Speaker 3: Shall we jump into these nine signs.

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Speaker 2: Let's do it.

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Speaker 3: Let's do it. Let's do it. So Number one, Lady

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Speaker 3: is lack of mutual respects. Okay, lack of mutual respect.

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Speaker 3: Respecting the relationship is important in general, right, And I

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Speaker 3: think that when it comes to oh goodness, Dom, this

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Speaker 3: is a This is an interesting one to me because

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Speaker 3: I think that the standard of respect that we have

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Speaker 3: in a relationship will differ. I know that there are

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Speaker 3: some couples and some people that I know who have

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Speaker 3: like a doughs but a long day. I feel like

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Speaker 3: my words are escaping me. But they have a unique

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Speaker 3: sense of humor, i'll say, or a rough sense of humor,

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Speaker 3: so they may call each other names and things like that.

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Speaker 3: For my standard of respect, we won't do that. We're

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Speaker 3: not playing those games, We're not calling each other names.

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Speaker 3: That's just my personal standards. So I think that at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day, you have to have a

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Speaker 3: baseline for what disrespect me and look like to you,

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Speaker 3: and then go from there, right because everyone's everyone's version

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Speaker 3: is going to be different. I know some people who

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Speaker 3: are more rough house. They want to play, they want

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Speaker 3: to have that type of banter, and then others and

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Speaker 3: may not connect with them. Now, when I think about

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Speaker 3: disrespect for me, that's belittling someone, dismissing them, disregarding their

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Speaker 3: feelings or opinions. That's what I see is disrespect in general.

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Speaker 3: What do you think about this particular sign?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you covered it. I think that this

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Speaker 2: is like you as an individual, you know what respect

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Speaker 2: looks like for you, right, you know what's needed for

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Speaker 2: you to feel respected in by your partner, and if

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Speaker 2: you are not seeing that, and conversely, if you are

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Speaker 2: not able to give your partner the respect that they

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Speaker 2: are looking for, because there are times, let's just be real,

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Speaker 2: there are times when you lose respect for a person

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Speaker 2: in your life, and if it's your partner, then that

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Speaker 2: means that you are then starting to engage in unhealthy

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Speaker 2: dynamics with them because you don't respect them. Yes, and

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Speaker 2: so when there is no longer mutual respect, it's time

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Speaker 2: to go. It's time to move on.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a huge one. Dom. It can definitely erode

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Speaker 3: the foundation of a relationship. And I think back to

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Speaker 3: moments where someone where someone did something and I lost

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Speaker 3: respect for them, and it just it gives you a

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Speaker 3: certain type of energy, like there are certain things I

284
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Speaker 3: may not have said or done before, but now that

285
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Speaker 3: I don't have respect for you, it's just like fuck

286
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Speaker 3: all that, Like I talk to you a little crazy,

287
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Speaker 3: like I'll just treat you a certain way because it's like, oh, no,

288
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Speaker 3: you did this, I don't respect you anymore. And now

289
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Speaker 3: I'm moving into dangerous territory right because it's like a

290
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Speaker 3: down slope. Yeah, not good, not good, not good.

291
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Speaker 2: So then that takes us to number two, persistent negative patterns.

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Speaker 2: So to me, persistent negative patterns can look like or hygiene.

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Speaker 2: It could look like substance abuse, not and I want

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Speaker 2: to be clear and differentiate between substance use and abuse.

295
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Speaker 2: It is substance abuse. So, and it's interfering with how

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Speaker 2: they treat you, it's interfering with their day to day functioning.

297
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Speaker 2: It's a problem at that point, it's a problem. Negative

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Speaker 2: patterns can also look like how they engage with you

299
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Speaker 2: and with those around them, and so it can also

300
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Speaker 2: look like they are no longer meeting financial obligations or

301
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Speaker 2: maybe they've picked up gambling or some other addiction that

302
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Speaker 2: is again interfering with your and their day to day living.

303
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Speaker 2: So to me, those are the persistent negative patterns. And

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Speaker 2: when you have these persistent negative patterns that they aren't changing,

305
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Speaker 2: it's a problem. It's time to move on, it's time

306
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Speaker 2: to go our separate ways.

307
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Speaker 3: That is so good. I didn't even think about hygiene

308
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Speaker 3: down That's a really great one to bring up. One

309
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 3: of the things that this particular sign brings that for

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Speaker 3: me is this question of how do you feel in

311
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Speaker 3: your relationship most of the time, because things are going

312
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Speaker 3: to happen, like we all have some type of toxic

313
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Speaker 3: behavior or something right. But when you think about the

314
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Speaker 3: key word here is pattern, what's happening on a consistent basis?

315
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Speaker 3: So is it constant arguments, emotional manipulation, cycles of hurt

316
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Speaker 3: and confusion, or cycles of hurt and forgiveness or unforgiveness

317
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Speaker 3: or confusion where someone's gaslighting, you're trying to make you

318
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Speaker 3: confused and question your reality, things of that nature. So

319
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Speaker 3: I think thinking about the patterns, but also are they

320
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Speaker 3: on a journey to personal growth? Are they trying to change?

321
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Speaker 3: I know when I first got intoid my relationship, I

322
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Speaker 3: was I had some communication, some poor communication. Okay, my

323
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Speaker 3: style of communicating was not very good, but I was

324
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Speaker 3: on a journey to work on it. So I was

325
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Speaker 3: progressively getting better over time, versus me just being stagnant

326
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Speaker 3: and just being like, oh, well, this is the way

327
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Speaker 3: I am. It is what it is, and that's just

328
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Speaker 3: what it is, you know. So I think that's a

329
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Speaker 3: really really yeah, that's a good one. Great points there.

330
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Speaker 3: Now this takes us to number three, which his apologies

331
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Speaker 3: with no change behavior. I mean, if you're going to

332
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Speaker 3: be apologizing, okay, cool, but like what is your action plan?

333
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Speaker 3: That's my question, right, what is your action plan? Kind

334
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,639
Speaker 3: of going back to what we just said to ensure

335
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Speaker 3: that you're progressive, progressively getting better, Like you're actually making

336
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 3: an attempt, You're not just paying me lip service. And

337
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 3: I am a project manager at heart. There are certain

338
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Speaker 3: areas in my life that I want to develop personally,

339
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Speaker 3: and if I don't write it down and create a

340
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Speaker 3: plan for that, it usually isn't going to happen. So

341
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Speaker 3: I think that it may sound a bit prescriptive or

342
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 3: stilly or oh that's too much. Well, if you want

343
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Speaker 3: to change behavior, you really care about your relationship. I

344
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 3: believe that people should be making an effort to reprogram

345
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Speaker 3: them themselves in their mind to do better, because a

346
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 3: lot of us are just working on the program, right,

347
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 3: the programming that we got growing up and what we've

348
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 3: done in all previous relationships, and so it isn't gonna

349
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 3: take just one conversation to undo that. It really does

350
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Speaker 3: take intentionality, reprogramming, some exercises, maybe some journaling, maybe some therapy.

351
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Speaker 3: It's gonna take some work, right. You didn't get there overnight,

352
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Speaker 3: so it's gonna take some time to reprogram yourself.

353
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Speaker 2: What do you think, don So, I think that that's

354
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Speaker 2: an important thing to acknowledge, right that while we're saying

355
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Speaker 2: apologies with no change behavior, we're not expecting the change

356
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Speaker 2: behavior to occur immediately. Right. But if this person keeps

357
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Speaker 2: apologizing and the behavior continues to occur and there is

358
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Speaker 2: no sign of changing the behavior. So let's say that

359
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 2: the behavior looking for them to change is going to

360
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: take ten steps, and they've apologized twice, you don't see

361
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 2: any of the steps taking place. That's how you know

362
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 2: it's time to move on. Right. But if they've apologized

363
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 2: twice and they're on like step three, that's something we

364
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,719
Speaker 2: can work with because they're taking the steps to change

365
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Speaker 2: the behavior. But if they get stuck at step three

366
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 2: and then they're continuing to engage in that behavior, we

367
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Speaker 2: got a problem and it's time to move on.

368
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,360
Speaker 3: Also, Tom, I think a really good question to ask

369
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Speaker 3: a partner, y'all, if you're serious slash your relationship, now,

370
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 3: ask your partner as you're having conversations and you notice

371
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,880
Speaker 3: that certain patterns are coming up, right, Because when you're

372
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 3: in a relationship for a long time, or not even

373
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: a long time, when you're in a relationship for a period,

374
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 3: you start to notice patterns. So at some point when

375
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 3: you can, when you see that the pattern is persistent,

376
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 3: it might be wise to ask, what are you doing

377
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 3: to ensure that this doesn't happen again? Yes, you may

378
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,679
Speaker 3: make a mistake, but what are you actively doing on

379
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 3: your end to ensure that you're at least making some

380
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 3: type of progress Because you can't keep apologizing and keep

381
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 3: doing the same thing over and over because it's not

382
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 3: getting us anywhere. So yeah, yep, great, great points.

383
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 2: And so then that takes us to sign number four,

384
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 2: consistent mind games and gas lighting. Now, lady, we have

385
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:56,199
Speaker 2: multiple episodes where we have addressed this issue. So season seventeen,

386
00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 2: episode three, what gas lighting, red flags and manipulation looks like?

387
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 2: Season ten, episode two is your partner on Narcissists Diving

388
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 2: into Doctor Romany Diversala's narcissism quiz? Season ten, episode three,

389
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 2: how to finally leave your narcissistic partner with doctor Romney Diversala.

390
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 2: So we give you the signs of how to identify

391
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 2: that your partner is gaslighting you, that your partner might

392
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 2: be narcissistic if you believe that your partner is gaslighting you,

393
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 2: and there are frequent mind games and going back to

394
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 2: signs two and three, there's these apologies with no change

395
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 2: behavior and the gas lighting continues, and the mind games

396
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 2: and manipulation continue. It's time to move on, lady. You

397
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 2: deserve much better than that.

398
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 3: Yes, we have a ton of episodes about this topic,

399
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 3: so you could definitely dive in deeper. There are two

400
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 3: things I want to add on, and I really feel

401
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 3: like you put you hit the nail on the head

402
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 3: with this one. I would say, lady, is your in

403
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 3: your relationship and you start to notice these moments of like,

404
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 3: wait a second, that didn't happen, Like if they say

405
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 3: little things like that, start to take notes. I feel

406
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: like taking notes in journaling or creating voice notes about

407
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 3: certain instances that saved me so many times. Because sometimes

408
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 3: we can low key gas like ourselves and or just

409
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 3: believe the other person. We just mean, well, we wouldn't

410
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 3: gas like people intentionally, so when someone doesn't us, we're like, oh,

411
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 3: maybe I did forget that right, So you ask them

412
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 3: a question about you know, where were you at on

413
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 3: Friday night or what'd you do? And the story ends

414
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 3: up changing when you get you know, you get more

415
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 3: details later and you're like, wit a second, that sound right,

416
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 3: or they start to make you question reality, Like you

417
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 3: say one thing and they're like, oh, hey, remember you

418
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 3: left the keys in this compartment. You're like, I definitely

419
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 3: didn't do that. Make a note of those things so

420
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 3: that you can check yourself and have a backup and

421
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 3: have a witness within yourself. All right, lady. That moves

422
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:17,360
Speaker 3: us on to number five, which is misaligned life goals

423
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 3: and values. And honestly, here Dom, I feel like people

424
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 3: just people often row apart, and there's nothing wrong with that.

425
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 3: It's okay. I think that you know, we evolve and

426
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,439
Speaker 3: change at different paces within relationships. And so if you

427
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 3: find that, you know, you really feel called and led to,

428
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 3: I don't know, move to Ghana and I don't know,

429
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 3: pursue a career out there, and your partner really wants

430
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 3: to stay in the Midwest or something, right, Like, you

431
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 3: just have totally different life paths that you did not

432
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 3: foresee when you got together, Like it might be time

433
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 3: you may not want to do that long distance right, Like,

434
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 3: you may not want to do that. It may be

435
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 3: time to shift. Or maybe you're just on a different

436
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 3: path and you adopted new values that conflict with the

437
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 3: other person. Or maybe you're into a different religious or

438
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 3: spiritual lifestyle and it just doesn't connect. I personally believe

439
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 3: that forcing anything is just going to strain the relationship.

440
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,640
Speaker 3: So sometimes you just got to let what they say,

441
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 3: let bygones be bygones, and just be like, all right,

442
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 3: it was some while it lasted. We had a good experience,

443
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 3: We learned a lot, and let's keep it pushing.

444
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And I think the thing is is that

445
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 2: like once you if you've done the work right, like

446
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 2: you and your partner are recognizing that you're misaligned on

447
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 2: your life goals and values, communication is key. You have

448
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 2: the conversation about it. If you all are not able

449
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 2: to get on the same page, maybe you try a

450
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 2: couple's therapy, right, Maybe you have dig into what's at

451
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 2: the root of this, right, because maybe the misalignment is

452
00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 2: more like a misunderstanding that maybe at the root the

453
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 2: goals and values are still the same, but the route

454
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 2: to get there might be different. And if the route

455
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 2: to get there is different, but the goals and values

456
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: are still the same. That's something that can be worked with.

457
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 2: But you all have to have the hard conversations. And

458
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: if you've had the hard conversations and it's still clear,

459
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 2: it's very clear that you are misaligned, it's okay to

460
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 2: let go. And it'll be hard, but it's okay to

461
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 2: let go. That takes us to sign number six emotional

462
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 2: or physical abuse. I would also add in their financial abuse,

463
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 2: sexual abuse. So abuse of any kind is a sign

464
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 2: that this relationship needs to be done. And I understand

465
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 2: the complexity involved when there is abuse. I understand the

466
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 2: cycle of abuse that oftentimes it takes us multiple attempts

467
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 2: to walk away, but latery you keep trying and get help,

468
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 2: get the access the resources that you need to support

469
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 2: you in that decision to walk away. But whenever there

470
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 2: is abuse of any kind, this is not the relationship

471
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 2: for you. It's time to walk away.

472
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 3: Aim into that dime. And I would say even if

473
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 3: that's abuse of your children or children that are in

474
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 3: your care, or even family members, because oftentimes, if someone

475
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 3: is abusing to someone else, a lot of times that

476
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 3: abuse is going to end up coming to you at

477
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 3: some point, right, So they may be projecting that onto

478
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 3: someone else, but it may come back, it may come

479
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 3: around to you. So yes, lady, you got this. Keep

480
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 3: trying and dow, I think you Yeah, I think you

481
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 3: covered that one. So I'm gonna go ahead and move

482
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 3: on to number seven, which is persistent unhappiness and unfulfillment.

483
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 3: And this kind of goes back to that question I

484
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 3: asked earlier where I said, you know, how do you

485
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 3: feel most of the time in your relationship? And yeah,

486
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 3: I mean if you think, if you ask yourself that

487
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 3: question and be reflective. I think sometimes life can be

488
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 3: so busy. We have so much going on, and it's

489
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 3: easy to get caught up into our routine, right, Like

490
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 3: you're just caught up in the routine. And I know

491
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 3: some people who are like that now, and there is

492
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 3: no happiness. There is no joy, there is no fulfillment,

493
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 3: there is no romance. And they're staying because of the children.

494
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 3: They're staying because I literally remember someone we can't give

495
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 3: names and stuff like that. I got to protect you know,

496
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 3: people's identity, but someone literally was like, I'm waiting for

497
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 3: this my partner to pass away. They have children and everything,

498
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 3: and it's a toxic, dysfunctional relationship and they're just waiting

499
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 3: for the other person to die so they don't have

500
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 3: to make them move and leave. And it's just sad

501
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 3: because it's like in the meantime, you're still dealing with

502
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 3: all the dysfunction and you're kind of just you're just suffering,

503
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 3: you know, And so thinking about yeah, personal growth of

504
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 3: your own I just think about sometimes it's so powerful

505
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 3: to be able to step out and find your own

506
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 3: happiness if that relationship is no longer providing you with

507
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 3: the or providing you with the fulfillment or happiness that

508
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 3: it once did, or that you desire or need based

509
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 3: on who you are today.

510
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: And I think, you know, I think it's important to

511
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 2: also clarify that that the unhappiness and unfulfillment is persistent, right, yes,

512
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: that the reality of any relationship is that you are

513
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 2: not going to be happy and fulfilled every single day,

514
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 2: every single moment that relationship. Let's just let's just take

515
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 2: that fantasy off the table. That would be amazing if

516
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: life were like that. But that's why it's a fantasy,

517
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 2: because that's not reality. That's not how real life works.

518
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 2: After that honeymoon phase, because I know we all enjoy

519
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 2: that honeymoon phase of the relationship where you wake up

520
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 2: smiling because you and your boot thing just like y'all's

521
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 2: peaches and cream. It's everything is roses right. And then

522
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 2: you wake up one day and you're like, you look

523
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 2: over and he might be snoring, he might be farting,

524
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 2: and you're like, what did I sign up for? But

525
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 2: that's that's today. Tomorrow you might wake up and you

526
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 2: might be I love his stinky parts, like, and then

527
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 2: the next day you might wake up and you're like,

528
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 2: you know what, that snoring works on my nerves, But

529
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 2: I don't know if I would be happy if I

530
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 2: didn't hear that snoring every night. And then maybe two

531
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 2: months from now, you're like, if this dude don't get

532
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 2: up out my face, I'm I'm so done. I need

533
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:28,400
Speaker 2: a vacation from him. That's the cycle of relationships, Like

534
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 2: it makes sense that that will happen. But if you

535
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,240
Speaker 2: find yourself, it's when you find yourself in a space

536
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 2: of more days than not, more moments than not, you

537
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 2: find yourself feeling unhappy and unfulfilled, and you've communicated what

538
00:34:55,560 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 2: you need. You've communicated what you want nothing is changing.

539
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 2: That's the persistent unhappiness and unfulfillment, and that's when it's

540
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: time to let go.

541
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 3: That is a great distinction, don And the other thing

542
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 3: that I meant to say that I want to emphasize

543
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 3: is that we're not talking about you looking for happiness

544
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 3: and fulfillment from the partner. I believe that that needs

545
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 3: to come from within, so you being happy within yourself,

546
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 3: you being a whole and fulfilled within yourself. But if

547
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 3: there a certain relationship needs that are being met, or

548
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 3: if that person is just down, like they're just bringing

549
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:40,280
Speaker 3: everything down and they're presenting an energy that is bringing

550
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:44,839
Speaker 3: about unfulfillment and unhappiness, then that's and again it's persistent, right,

551
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 3: That's what we're talking about there.

552
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And being clear too that of what that

553
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 2: persistence really looks like, right, and recognizing that, particularly when

554
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 2: you're married, you take that vow of in sickness and

555
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: in health. So we're not saying your partner is sick

556
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: and you're feeling unfulfilled and you're unhappy, I'm walking away.

557
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying. I want to be clear,

558
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:17,399
Speaker 2: So don't come for me. If your partner don't come

559
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 2: for me for that. What I'm saying is all things

560
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 2: being equal, no major life changes. You are finding yourself

561
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 2: feeling consistently unhappy and unfulfilled, then it's time to walk away.

562
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 2: And so then that takes us to sign number eight.

563
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 2: And I believe that this one is one that really

564
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 2: is a catch all violating your non negotiables. I just

565
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 2: want to be clear that when you you are, before

566
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 2: you get into a relationship, you should be clear and

567
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 2: every now and then you go through and you reevaluate

568
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 2: this list because things change as you go through life.

569
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:18,240
Speaker 2: Because my list of non negotiables and needs and wants

570
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 2: has definitely shifted from when I was twenty and so

571
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 2: when you have your list of non negotiables, and I

572
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 2: want to be clear also that a non negotiable is

573
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 2: the thing that if your partner does this, you are

574
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 2: out the door, right And for each individual, your non

575
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 2: negotiables is going to be different. Personally. Physical abuse is

576
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 2: on that list of non negotiables, right. That's something that

577
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 2: if this happens, we don't need to have any conversation.

578
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 2: I'm out, We are done, done, done, Okay, put your

579
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 2: hands on me, and I'm out. Cheating. For some people,

580
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 2: that's a controversial non negotiable. For some people, they might

581
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 2: not automatically walk out that door if their partner cheats.

582
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:31,919
Speaker 2: There may be conversations, so then that's not a non negotiable.

583
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 2: A faithful partner might be a need, but it's not

584
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 2: a non negotiable. Again, your non negotiables are the things

585
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 2: that if X happens, then I am out the door, period, goodbye,

586
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 2: Moving on.

587
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 3: I love don that you mentioned the fact that this

588
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 3: is something we should be thinking about before getting into

589
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 3: a relationship, right, not once you're in a relationship and

590
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 3: they're like, all right, let me figure out. I mean,

591
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,359
Speaker 3: if you do it, then better late than never, right,

592
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 3: But it's so important to I think this just goes

593
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 3: back to the idea and we've talked about this on

594
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 3: the podcast, just knowing yourself, dating yourself, being in tune

595
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 3: with yourself prior to being in a relationship, so that

596
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 3: you are grounded in who you are, what you bring

597
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 3: to the table, what you're going to tolerate, what you're

598
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 3: not going to put up with, what your non negotiables are,

599
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 3: so that you're just very clear in that honeymoon phase

600
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 3: and like, oh my God, I'm someone love that isn't

601
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 3: cloud our judgment? Right, Yes, So we're gonna do a

602
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 3: quick recap. But first, lady, we said we have nine signs. Well, actually,

603
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 3: what we want you to do is go to our

604
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 3: Instagram at her Space podcast and just scroll down the

605
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 3: Instagram based on when this episode's drop and just look

606
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:55,240
Speaker 3: for the red square. When you see the red square

607
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 3: on our Instagram, go ahead and drop your sign as

608
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 3: in not your zodiac sign. Go ahead and drop the

609
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 3: ninth sign. What would you add to this list that

610
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: we've already created for you. So we're gonna go ahead

611
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 3: and circle back. We have number one lack of mutual respect.

612
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 3: We have number two persistent negative patterns. Number three apologies

613
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 3: with no change behavior. Number four consistent mind games and

614
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:30,800
Speaker 3: gas lighting. Number five, misaligned life goals and values, number six,

615
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:37,800
Speaker 3: emotional or physical abuse, number seven, persistent unhappiness and unfulfillment,

616
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 3: number eight violating your non negotiables. And number nine that

617
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 3: is on you, ladies, So go connect with us on

618
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 3: Instagram at Herspace podcast and drop your answer on the

619
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 3: red square. Ay, now, dom, I guess it's time for

620
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 3: us to move to the after show. But lady, we

621
00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 3: do have a reflection question that Domini are going to

622
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 3: We have a couple questions that we're going to dive

623
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 3: into in the after show. So if you went in

624
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 3: tune into the after show, you can visit Herspace podcast

625
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,879
Speaker 3: dot com, click on the Patreon tab and that will

626
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 3: take you over to the after show where you can

627
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 3: see us on video and get more exclusive content. But

628
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 3: the question here is do you recognize any patterns or

629
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 3: themes in your relationship that may indicate a need for

630
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:27,839
Speaker 3: change and what steps can you take to address these

631
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 3: signs and make decisions that align with your well being?

632
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 3: So hopefully you can reflect on the episode, the signs

633
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 3: that we shared and think about where you stand in

634
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 3: your current relationship.

635
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show

636
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 2: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and

637
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 2: mental health, but is by no means meant to be

638
00:41:56,120 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 2: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained

639
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 2: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is

640
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,840
Speaker 2: in need of mental health care, please visit a Therapy

641
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:14,280
Speaker 2: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

642
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 3: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

643
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 3: the conversation going. Visit our website at herspace podcast dot com,

644
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,359
Speaker 3: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get

645
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 3: access to video content bonuses in our weekly after show

646
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 3: and before we meet again, repeat after me, I am

647
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,840
Speaker 3: worthy of what I desire, period