Speaker 1: Hey, hir He, how's it going. Hi Chris, good to
Speaker 1: see you. You know, I was thinking, we've been friends
Speaker 1: for almost fifteen years. I think it's like fourteen years now,
Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy? It's been quite a while. Everyone's in
Speaker 1: a while. This is Harry Kondabalu. He's one of my
Speaker 1: favorite stand up comedians. And I'm not just saying that
Speaker 1: because we've been friends for so long. You might know
Speaker 1: him from his documentary about a Pooh from The Simpsons
Speaker 1: called The Problem with a Pooh, his Netflix stand up special,
Speaker 1: or from NPRS quiz show Wait Wait, don't tell me,
Speaker 1: But I know him from our early days in comedy.
Speaker 1: Ali Wong opening for me seems so much longer ago. Ah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that seems like a different universe. Her performing after me,
Speaker 1: that seems pretty normal. I've gotten pretty but I think
Speaker 1: about the different openers I've had, either multiple times or
Speaker 1: even once. It's like Ali Phoebe Robinson a partner on
Speaker 1: Chair litt So if you want a career open for me,
Speaker 1: I'll still be here. I'll still be here like me.
Speaker 1: Harry is also going through his first time as a dad.
Speaker 1: His son Argent, is almost two years old now Are
Speaker 1: we young parents or are we newer parents? Were new parents?
Speaker 1: I am not young anymore. I am I am forty
Speaker 1: four years old. I'm not young. After spending all of
Speaker 1: this time with Raffie, I wasn't quite ready to move on.
Speaker 1: I needed a debrief, and it turns out Harry was
Speaker 1: perfect for that. He'd also discovered Raffie through his kid.
Speaker 1: I wanted to share some of that conversation with you.
Speaker 1: Maybe he'll help you find some closure too. From My
Speaker 1: Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch, this
Speaker 1: is the bonus episode of Finding Raffie. I'm Chris Garcia.
Speaker 1: I didn't grow up listening to Raffie like we listened
Speaker 1: to more Um, what's the name Sharon Lewis and bram Oh,
Speaker 1: that's what we were doing. It's basically what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is I eat hydro as a kid, You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Nothing against Sharon Lewis and brand, but I
Speaker 1: just feel like you learn so much more from Raffie.
Speaker 1: He like he's he actually not only is making songs
Speaker 1: that are ridiculously catchy that I find myself singing in
Speaker 1: the middle of the day. Brush your teeth and it's like,
Speaker 1: why why am I saying this? I mean and I
Speaker 1: mean he's the Transformers to their gobots, right, He's just
Speaker 1: the best being able to Maybe part of it is
Speaker 1: just being an adult and seeing how much my child
Speaker 1: loves Raffie, like is happy to hear his voice. He
Speaker 1: does little things that like like he has weird little
Speaker 1: performance things, like he'll say something and then like the
Speaker 1: kids respond and he'd be like third and fourth row
Speaker 1: got it right. And it's like he says things to
Speaker 1: the parents. He does. He does stuff that clearly only
Speaker 1: the parents would find funny, like we've got a hot
Speaker 1: crowd here today, and it's like it's like a bunch
Speaker 1: of kids and fair we got a hot crowd here
Speaker 1: today cracks me up every time. So you mostly watch
Speaker 1: the videos? Do you watch the tapes? Is that what
Speaker 1: you do? Well, it's it's on YouTube. But yeah, Like
Speaker 1: we've done some of the Broadway raf E Live and Broadway,
Speaker 1: and I gotta be honest with the production values are
Speaker 1: a little too high for my taste. There's other people
Speaker 1: on stage, there's the unfortunate rap number. Wait, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: stop you right here, So what's wrong with rapping? Raffi,
Speaker 1: rapp and Raffie, not on. Come on, Chris, he doesn't
Speaker 1: make you craze feel a little awkward. Okay, so did
Speaker 1: you not like it when Dylan went electric? The Raffi
Speaker 1: plays many different genres and played on his entire life.
Speaker 1: Rap is it? Oh my gosh. He if there's no okay,
Speaker 1: there's no image. Okay, imagine this. You're a small You're
Speaker 1: a small child in Toronto, right, Yeah, I know it's
Speaker 1: on Broadway, but your hometown hero Raffi performs Rapp and Raffi.
Speaker 1: It changes your life forever. If there's no rapp and Raffie,
Speaker 1: there's no Drake, my friend, I like, this is a
Speaker 1: young Aubrey Drake Graham was probably sitting on his mom
Speaker 1: or dad's lap, saw Rap and Raffie and was like,
Speaker 1: that's it for me. And this is probably changed the
Speaker 1: trajectory of his life. There's no rap music without Blondie,
Speaker 1: with that, without that verse on rapture, rap doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: Whatever nonsense, Debbie Harry was fitting for the record. Harry
Speaker 1: and his family prefer a young children's concert with Raffi.
Speaker 1: Rafi's first recording. He calls it the Blue Tape the
Speaker 1: Blue tape is just pure songs. There's a little stretching,
Speaker 1: breathing thing that he does for a little break with
Speaker 1: for the kids. Let me see a stretchway out here
Speaker 1: and a stretched way up there, and while are you're
Speaker 1: up there? How about a great big son like this?
Speaker 1: I love it. That's that to me is the raf
Speaker 1: I wanna I want to think of. Isn't he a
Speaker 1: masterful performance like I I'll tell you, I'm a Broadway guy,
Speaker 1: Like that's the one I've seen the most. But the
Speaker 1: way he can engage children as performers ourselves, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this guy's got it. I mean, we're comparing these two specials,
Speaker 1: but I think for people need to understand in the
Speaker 1: children's music world, the specials were describing are like raw
Speaker 1: and delirious to children. Oh yeah, this is we're talking
Speaker 1: about the two biggest, two of the biggest children's music
Speaker 1: specials of all time. They're humongous and well, you know,
Speaker 1: it's interesting. Did you know when you want live on
Speaker 1: raffing on Broadway? Did you know that he hadn't written
Speaker 1: Banana Phone yet? Who isn't that wild? He just pulled
Speaker 1: a banana. He just did the banana phone and pretended
Speaker 1: to talk into it as a small bit. The song
Speaker 1: hadn't even come out yet. Wow, So he's he had
Speaker 1: been dabbling in banana way before the song. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he had been. I mean that was like a little seedling. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he had some banana stuff in his music before, but
Speaker 1: it was just it wasn't quite there yet. And probably
Speaker 1: he's just like a comic. He's like, I just I
Speaker 1: gotta throw that bit out there, like because something, something
Speaker 1: magical might happen if I just throw it out, I'll
Speaker 1: start improvising. And that night it didn't happen, but who knows,
Speaker 1: maybe at night a few weeks later he's like, banana Phone,
Speaker 1: this is it's the premise is killing. The premise is killing.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's there yet. Maybe I'll write it
Speaker 1: on stage. Maybe I'll take it back to the mole
Speaker 1: skin or back to the lab. And then he comes
Speaker 1: up with that that album, that whole album, which to me,
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about it as like one of the
Speaker 1: greatest comeback albums because I don't know if you know this,
Speaker 1: but prior to Bananaphone that album, he kind of took
Speaker 1: a career pivot and made an album for adults, like
Speaker 1: almost like an environmental protest album. What Yeah, And there's
Speaker 1: a grown up Beluga track on there. It's called Belugas
Speaker 1: after Dark. I don't know if you've heard this. You know,
Speaker 1: I have found myself listening to Raffy on my own.
Speaker 1: This sounds crazy, but sometimes in the car it's already
Speaker 1: on my phone because we play Raffi a lot during
Speaker 1: um Sunny's bedtime routine. Right, So, even like this morning,
Speaker 1: I was listening to one of the albums and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm just gonna leave it. It's it's nice
Speaker 1: and pleasant in traffic and some of the songs I
Speaker 1: felt like, we're still relevant to me, you know, it's
Speaker 1: really weird, but then also the musicality of it is
Speaker 1: quite good. Which one did you feel were like relevant
Speaker 1: to your life? Well? I listened to One Light, One
Speaker 1: Sun right, which is a great album. One Light, One Son,
Speaker 1: one sun Lighting everyone. I mean, that song is very pleasant.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've oh, and then like me
Speaker 1: and you do you know this song? I don't. I'm
Speaker 1: not familiar with either of those songs. I'm embarrassed his
Speaker 1: rendition of take Me Out to the Ball game. Oh,
Speaker 1: I gotta hear that. Have you heard that one? No?
Speaker 1: I should though, Okay, take me out to the ball game,
Speaker 1: Take me out with the crowd, buy me some peanuts
Speaker 1: and cracker jack. I don't care if I never get
Speaker 1: back with the root root root for the home team.
Speaker 1: If they don't win, it's a shame for it's one, two,
Speaker 1: three strikes. You're out at the old ball game. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's like so epic and sweeping. And then the harmonies
Speaker 1: of the front are so good that and I was like,
Speaker 1: I love that song, and I was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: let this bump. But the one that really hits me
Speaker 1: in the heart um, which is one of the many
Speaker 1: reasons I love Raffi is that he's like, to me,
Speaker 1: the real formative stuff is Mr. Rogers and the Muppets
Speaker 1: and stuff, which was really fantastic. But the inclusivity of
Speaker 1: Raffie in this song is just very wonderful. And I'll
Speaker 1: play a little bit of it right here. Jing lives
Speaker 1: in China, Olga lives in Russia, Rid lives in Germany,
Speaker 1: Keita lives in Indeed, Pablo lives in Spain, Jose lives
Speaker 1: in Cologne, and each one is much like another child
Speaker 1: of a mother and a father, very special son or daughter,
Speaker 1: a lot like me and you. And that's just like,
Speaker 1: I think, that's just such a beautiful sentiment. And you know,
Speaker 1: for kids all over the world to hear names of
Speaker 1: other kids and stuff, and here like you know, Mosha,
Speaker 1: geta Pablo, like all these different names. I was in
Speaker 1: traffic and I was just like, I'm so calm, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's okay, cut me off, buddy. We're all
Speaker 1: just we're all just small children on this big spinning ball,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's just really beautiful. I
Speaker 1: just I was thinking about the time period that he's
Speaker 1: doing this and why that makes it even more important.
Speaker 1: It's like he's saying to all these different, you know,
Speaker 1: types of kids who might be listening, I see you,
Speaker 1: and all of you are the same. All of you
Speaker 1: are children. I care for all of you, and I'm
Speaker 1: I'm potentially mentioning your name or your heritage. And that
Speaker 1: is so especially when you're a kid who you know
Speaker 1: and you know, I've talked about this in various capacities,
Speaker 1: who doesn't have representation as a kid RAFFI saying like
Speaker 1: I'm from Egypt, Like that's a huge deal. Like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm I'm from Israel, I'm I'm from India,
Speaker 1: Like that's such a big deal. Like it's huge. The music,
Speaker 1: it just it hits, you know, on so many levels
Speaker 1: for these children. And you know, when I see Raffie,
Speaker 1: it's funny because it's not that he's raceless, but it
Speaker 1: almost feels like he's Raffie, Like can Mickey Mouse be racialized?
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Like there's there's a
Speaker 1: degree of like he's it's he has is such a
Speaker 1: figure you don't even associate like human traits with him.
Speaker 1: And then you step back and it's like, that's pretty
Speaker 1: incredible that a dude that has this incredible life story
Speaker 1: has a you know, Armenian born in Cairo, immigrant to Canada,
Speaker 1: and he's singing these songs that are resonating from with
Speaker 1: children all over the world. That's incredible. It's beautiful. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna switch gears for a second and I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you about parenting for a moment. How would
Speaker 1: you describe your parenting style? It's hard because I've been
Speaker 1: thinking a lot about like, am I doing enough lots
Speaker 1: of cuddling? Lots of hugging, lots of laughing and dancing.
Speaker 1: We played little games, We have inside jokes, a lot
Speaker 1: of silliness. The thing I feel like I am lacking
Speaker 1: is I not, It's it's something that I've been talking
Speaker 1: to with my partner and she's generous and that she says,
Speaker 1: like every parent has their journey, you know, and it
Speaker 1: doesn't need to be the same. But I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm not adding enough substance to his life. And you know,
Speaker 1: I mean to be fair, like I'm usually the one
Speaker 1: who does the mornings, so I'm waking up at five
Speaker 1: thirty or six thirty am or whatever it is, and
Speaker 1: at that point, you know, I'm just trying to get
Speaker 1: through the morning, you know what I mean, and just
Speaker 1: stay conscious. But I feel like I I want to
Speaker 1: give him more. I feel like my parenting style is
Speaker 1: a little too lax. And granted he's one, you know,
Speaker 1: he there's a lot more to come. And you know
Speaker 1: he can't talk yet, and you know the books are
Speaker 1: going to get you know he's gonna be able to
Speaker 1: actually understand them. So you're like, you read Howard's into him,
Speaker 1: but you're not sure if he's understanding it. I don't
Speaker 1: think he's getting it. Honestly, don't think he's getting it.
Speaker 1: But don't you Okay, so you feel like you're a
Speaker 1: lax parent and in the morning you're just you're just
Speaker 1: waking up and you're just being there with him. But
Speaker 1: don't you think there is something to like free exploration
Speaker 1: and not trying to force learning onto him or anything,
Speaker 1: and just allowing him to explore the world on his own. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: certainly there's some of that, and he does that, But
Speaker 1: I do think, I don't know, there are times where
Speaker 1: I see him trying to get my attention and I
Speaker 1: I feel like, oh, man, like, how long has he
Speaker 1: been trying to get my attention? And where was I?
Speaker 1: And so I don't know if that answers your question
Speaker 1: about parenting style. I'm being polite to myself by saying
Speaker 1: I'm a lax parent. My goal is to be a
Speaker 1: more attentive, thoughtful, and deliberate parent. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: working towards that. Well. I think you should be easy
Speaker 1: on yourself because it is very difficult to be a parent,
Speaker 1: and it's also hard to manage your career and be
Speaker 1: a parent at the same time. I think you should
Speaker 1: be a little gentle with yourself about this. I'm a
Speaker 1: very loving parent. I know that, and I know that
Speaker 1: whenever he sees me, we're silly and we have a
Speaker 1: fun time, and that's great. But I don't want to
Speaker 1: start the trend of I don't worry. That's just my dad,
Speaker 1: that's just the guy hang out with. But do you
Speaker 1: have any questions? Ask mom over there? Do you think
Speaker 1: like the way your parent was affected by how you
Speaker 1: were raised and a positive And my mom was always
Speaker 1: very physical with us, lots of hugs, lots of like
Speaker 1: she was just around us all the time, like me
Speaker 1: and my brother are very close and and very close
Speaker 1: to our mom. You know, Dad was less present in
Speaker 1: terms of parenting, like he was there, but like Mom
Speaker 1: did the work. Mom did the actual like play with kids,
Speaker 1: teach the kids, feed the kids, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So I think I learned that in terms of the
Speaker 1: kind of parent I wanted to be was it was
Speaker 1: a parent the kid could trust and who like felt
Speaker 1: relaxed and who had a good time with the kid,
Speaker 1: like I'm hanging out with dad and that's fun. I
Speaker 1: think what I also learned is what I didn't want,
Speaker 1: like you know my dad, I wish she was like,
Speaker 1: my dad is incredibly hands on with my with my kid,
Speaker 1: like he's an incredible grandfather. And he's even said, you know,
Speaker 1: I spend more time with origin than I did when
Speaker 1: you were a kid, And I'm like, oh, I know
Speaker 1: me and my therapist no, And you know, so I
Speaker 1: think I also learned like I don't want to be
Speaker 1: someone who doesn't take part, and I want to feed
Speaker 1: my child and I want to you know, um change
Speaker 1: my child's diapers and put my child to sleep. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sort I don't think my dad hadn't changed the diaper either,
Speaker 1: And I don't think my dad really um fed me either.
Speaker 1: It probably defaulted to my mom. But I know, I
Speaker 1: know that my dad had a rough childhood, and I
Speaker 1: know that part of that. My mom explained to me
Speaker 1: that my dad was scared to hurt me or drop
Speaker 1: me or mess up like when I was very young,
Speaker 1: when I was a very young baby. And it's one
Speaker 1: of my favorite things about parenting is to be like, um,
Speaker 1: think about the past and everything that had happened in
Speaker 1: the past, and maybe go, you know, if things could
Speaker 1: be different, maybe this is a way to do it,
Speaker 1: or this is a way to do it in a lovelier,
Speaker 1: more empathetic way. Um, is that something I should talk
Speaker 1: to my therapist about? Or is that is that right here? Um,
Speaker 1: I'm always gonna say yes. I think it's it's good
Speaker 1: that you verbalize. Now, this is a good test run
Speaker 1: for when you do you think respect was present in
Speaker 1: your household when you're growing up, because this is the
Speaker 1: thing that I think about raf He talks about a
Speaker 1: lot um about respecting the whole child and respecting the
Speaker 1: plan and everything, and it's so much of what this
Speaker 1: part the theme of this podcast is, But do you
Speaker 1: felt like you were respected as a child and growing up? Huh? Respected?
Speaker 1: That is a really good question, and that you know,
Speaker 1: I think I think we all grew up one with
Speaker 1: patriarchy in different ways, and I certainly grew up with
Speaker 1: a bit of that, But I also grew up with
Speaker 1: this idea of you know, older people are to be respected,
Speaker 1: you know, you have to be polite, you don't question, Um,
Speaker 1: it was there was definitely like a power thing based
Speaker 1: on like those kinds of divisions. So the idea of
Speaker 1: a child being respected is really tricky because it's not
Speaker 1: how I grew up with the idea of respect rescept respect.
Speaker 1: It goes to your parents. Respect goals to your older
Speaker 1: siblings if you have any or older like elderly people.
Speaker 1: Respect goes to your teachers or so. It's the idea
Speaker 1: of you know, being given respect. I don't even I don't. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I feel strange. I don't know how to process that.
Speaker 1: Isn't it interesting? That's how when I first started thinking
Speaker 1: about it, I kind of didn't know how to answer
Speaker 1: it either, because it always is the other way around
Speaker 1: with kids will define respect? Oh man, um, how do
Speaker 1: I define respect? Um? I guess is it just boiled
Speaker 1: down to treating people in a fair way that they
Speaker 1: would like to be treated, you know? Um, I don't, no, man.
Speaker 1: And also culture, look culture, it looks different. Respect looks different.
Speaker 1: I mean, I God, that's a that question is going
Speaker 1: to be in my head after this podcast? Did I
Speaker 1: I got love? I was allowed to do so much
Speaker 1: of what I wanted to do. I was given items
Speaker 1: like toys and whatever I really needed. My parents were
Speaker 1: doubly hard. I was respected. I mean, I think my
Speaker 1: mom's ability to talk to me and my brother like
Speaker 1: adults at a younger age, maybe a sign of a
Speaker 1: degree of respect, not simply I'm the parent, this is
Speaker 1: the power, this is the line. But it's you know,
Speaker 1: being able to spend time with your kids and have
Speaker 1: honest conversations. Maybe it's a sign of respect. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It isn't to unpack. And you know, parents are just
Speaker 1: trying their best, and immigrant parents have it. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's just the crazy experience you can have is because
Speaker 1: you come here. You know, my parents barely spoken any
Speaker 1: in English and they were trying to um support me. Well,
Speaker 1: what do what do our parents know about raising American kids? Exactly?
Speaker 1: They only know from what how they were raised. They
Speaker 1: were just trying the best they could and within the
Speaker 1: framework that they kind of understood, you know. But I
Speaker 1: think that's the only thing otherwise. I think they always
Speaker 1: really uh you know, really love me and we're very respectful,
Speaker 1: but sometimes like maybe emotionally, um they would either be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, rub some dirt on it, or you're fine
Speaker 1: or something, and that kind of invalidates your feelings when
Speaker 1: when you're a child, you know, I mean I almost
Speaker 1: would I can imagine asking or saying something like that,
Speaker 1: like don't like, where is the where's my respect. If
Speaker 1: I was to say that, I can't even imagine the reaction, Like,
Speaker 1: what the hell does respect have to do with this?
Speaker 1: What is you're the kid? What respect are you supposed
Speaker 1: to get as a kid? Like I can already imagine
Speaker 1: like that being such a bizarre kind of expectation. We
Speaker 1: don't need to respect you. We feed you, you're live,
Speaker 1: you go to school, you get toys, you take care
Speaker 1: of you when you're sick. What do you mean respect?
Speaker 1: What the hell do you want? Do you want us
Speaker 1: to bow to you when we see you, your majesty maharaj? Like,
Speaker 1: what is it that you need? Like it's not even
Speaker 1: part of the equation, Chris, That's why I'm so thrown
Speaker 1: by it. It's really true. But I mean, I would
Speaker 1: hope that when my child looks back on his relationship
Speaker 1: with me, that he does feel that I respected him
Speaker 1: as a person. And it's not to say that I
Speaker 1: was willing to let him do whatever he wanted and
Speaker 1: that his wishes are law, but that like I respected
Speaker 1: the fact that he was having an experience as a
Speaker 1: human being in the world and was trying to navigate it,
Speaker 1: just like I tried to navigate the world and like
Speaker 1: I tried to navigate being a kid, My job is
Speaker 1: to support that child and to ask questions and not
Speaker 1: just dictate. And I hope you see the father that
Speaker 1: does that does respect him, obviously loves him and tried
Speaker 1: as hard as they could. And I hope my kid
Speaker 1: knows that I gave it all I had. I was
Speaker 1: a really beautiful sentiment. Can I Can I say one
Speaker 1: more thing to close? Yes, Chris, I just gotta say,
Speaker 1: this was a hot today. Oh, thank you rapping Harry,
Speaker 1: thank you about a hot crowd here today. We had
Speaker 1: a hot crowd here today. Chris finding Raffie is a
Speaker 1: production of My Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with
Speaker 1: Rococo Punch. It's produced by Catherine Findalosa, Meredith Hanig, and
Speaker 1: James Trout. Production assistance from Charlotte Livingston. Alex French is
Speaker 1: our story consultant. Our senior producer is Andrea swahe Emily
Speaker 1: Foreman is our editor. Fact checking by Andrea Lopez Crusado.
Speaker 1: Rapha's music is courtesy of Troubadour Music Special thanks to
Speaker 1: Kim Layton at Troubadour. Our Executive producers are Jessica Albert
Speaker 1: and John Parotti at Rococo, punch Ty Trimble, Mike Rothman
Speaker 1: and Jeff Eisenman at Fatherly and Me. Chris Garcia, thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. Thank you very much. Thanks right right
Speaker 1: on RYE CEO. Thanks to gain H