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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read that one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, let's go. Let's go buggle up, hold

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Speaker 1: on tight begotten for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: subject Wives submit to your husband's Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm

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Speaker 1: twenty eight years old and my fiance is thirty five.

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Speaker 1: We have a baby on the way, and I recently

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Speaker 1: moved across the country to be with him. Now that

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Speaker 1: I'm living in his home, I'm not sure that I'm

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Speaker 1: making the right choice, and I'm questioning whether or not

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Speaker 1: I should marry him. When it comes to his family.

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Speaker 1: There is an open door policy with his family. They

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Speaker 1: come and go as they please, and his sister has

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Speaker 1: a key to our house. His mom is living with

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Speaker 1: us during the quarantine, and I don't mind her being here.

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Speaker 1: I have been busy planning for the baby, and I

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Speaker 1: got the nursery done and then started fixing up the

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Speaker 1: guest room for my mom. So she could be here

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Speaker 1: for the birth of her first grandchild. My fiance told

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Speaker 1: me that my mom would be staying at a hotel

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Speaker 1: and not at our house. He told me it would

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Speaker 1: be too much to have both our mothers here when

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Speaker 1: he first started dating. When we first started dating, my

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Speaker 1: mother felt like he wasn't good enough for me, and

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Speaker 1: she let him know that he had to step up

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Speaker 1: and take good care of me. My fiance has held

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Speaker 1: a grudge against her since then, but he is cordial

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Speaker 1: to her. When I asked him what the problem, what

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Speaker 1: his problem is, he said, he doesn't care for my

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Speaker 1: mom and she's not welcome in our home. I made

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Speaker 1: the ultimate sacrifice by moving while I was pregnant, and

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Speaker 1: now he tells me this. He said, he is a

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Speaker 1: man of the house, and that's one of the rules.

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Speaker 1: If my mother has to stay in a hotel, the

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Speaker 1: baby and I will be in a hotel too. I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't have to choose between my mother and my fiance.

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Speaker 1: He keeps yelling about submission, but I know this is

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Speaker 1: not what the Bible meant by telling wives to submit.

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Speaker 1: How do I get things to work out in my favor?

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Speaker 1: Should I leave him? Please? Help? Yeah? You're you're probably

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Speaker 1: gonna have to leave him because he's crazy. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he's a control freak. He's disrespectful to your mother. I

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Speaker 1: mean she told him what most mothers would tell their

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Speaker 1: son in law, you know, step up, be a man

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Speaker 1: and take care of my daughter. How dare he say

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Speaker 1: she can't stay, she can't stay in the house and

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Speaker 1: she has to stay in a hotel because she's not

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Speaker 1: welcome in your home. Well, guess what, you live there, right,

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Speaker 1: so it's your home too. He just doesn't have the

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Speaker 1: right to do that. He may think he does, but

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Speaker 1: not to be disrespectful to your mother. And this is

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Speaker 1: her first grandchild. His family, way too much access to

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Speaker 1: the house, his sister having a key and coming and

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Speaker 1: going when she pleases. No, ma'am, no, ma'am. You gotta

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Speaker 1: put your foot down on that. You just have to

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Speaker 1: regulate certain things. You got to speak up for yourself,

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Speaker 1: and you got to speak up for your mom. And

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Speaker 1: what about your baby? I mean, do you want your

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Speaker 1: baby to be raised in this type of an environment

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Speaker 1: where you know, what he says goes. Your mother can't

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Speaker 1: stay here, and I don't care for your mother. No, no,

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Speaker 1: and men kill me using the wives submit to your

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Speaker 1: husband's verse, you know, for it's for their own selfish reasons. Okay,

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Speaker 1: why would someone want to submit to him for what?

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Speaker 1: He's way too mean and nasty with his stuff. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that is not what God meant with that verse. The

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Speaker 1: Bible also says husbands love your wife. It's Christ's love

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Speaker 1: the church. I bet that is never mentioned in the home.

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Speaker 1: If it's not, you should say that, you should mention

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Speaker 1: that to him. Sometimes. I just think, you know, moving

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Speaker 1: across country and then after you know, you get there,

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Speaker 1: all the way over there, then finding out that he's

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Speaker 1: maybe not the man you thought he was, h not good.

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Speaker 1: But if you don't, I don't think you should marry

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Speaker 1: this guy. I really don't. I don't. I don't like

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Speaker 1: what he stands for, especially since he did you said

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Speaker 1: that about your mom, So uh, pack up and leave? Maybe? Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know that might not be so easy, but figure

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Speaker 1: it out when your mom comes and all that. You

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Speaker 1: got a baby to think about. I don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: think this guy is for you. I really don't. You

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Speaker 1: might have to move back, you might have to get

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Speaker 1: a home there, so at least the baby will have

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Speaker 1: both her parents Steve Man. Yeah, Um, she's twenty eight.

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Speaker 1: Just dude is thirty five, baby on the way. I

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Speaker 1: moved across the country to be with him. Now, what

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Speaker 1: I'm noticing in this letter is a lot of sacrifices.

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Speaker 1: You make it. But now here's a problem. Now that

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Speaker 1: I'm living in his home, which he obviously didn't prepare

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Speaker 1: to make it you all's home, You're not sure that

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Speaker 1: you're making the right choice. You're questioning the marriage now

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Speaker 1: because of his family. It's an open door policy with

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Speaker 1: his family. See, that doesn't happen once a woman moves

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Speaker 1: into the house. He doesn't understand that. Now. Obviously he's

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Speaker 1: had this position with his family before you got there,

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Speaker 1: because his sister had a key. She didn't just get

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Speaker 1: the key, she ben had a key, So he got

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Speaker 1: this open door policy. They come and go as they please.

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Speaker 1: His mom is living with us, doing the quarantine, and

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Speaker 1: I don't mind her being here. I've been busy planning

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Speaker 1: for the baby, got the nursery done, and then started

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Speaker 1: fixing up the guest room for my mom so she

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Speaker 1: could come and be here for the birth of her

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Speaker 1: first grandchild. Then your man coming there and told you

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Speaker 1: that your mama would be staying in a hotel and

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Speaker 1: not in our house. Excuse me, that hasn't made clear yet.

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Speaker 1: Here is the problem. You said you moved into his

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Speaker 1: home if he did not make a way for you

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Speaker 1: to feel at home, and as his fiance say, let

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Speaker 1: you know that this is your home because when you

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Speaker 1: getting married, now you you got to be calling some

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Speaker 1: shots in this house. Most women are calling shots in

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Speaker 1: their house. I don't know about this submission stuff that

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Speaker 1: he talking about, but that ain't I didn't. I didn't

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Speaker 1: mad that one and two women on this show is

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Speaker 1: not the submissive type. So I'll give you the rest

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Speaker 1: of it when we're coming back. I don't know where

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Speaker 1: you found him. Hang on, we'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letters, subject wives submit to your husband. We'll

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Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letter, subject,

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Speaker 1: why I submit to your husband's twenty eight year old

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Speaker 1: girl gets pregnant. Fiance say thirty five, she wants to

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Speaker 1: be with him. She moved across the country to be

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Speaker 1: with him into his house that his mother's living there

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Speaker 1: because they're quarantined, and during the corona, the girl doesn't

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Speaker 1: mind that she's been busy preparing for the baby. She

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Speaker 1: was fixing up the other room so her mother could

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Speaker 1: come and be there for the birth of her first child,

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Speaker 1: which is a really important thing when a mother gets

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Speaker 1: to be there for their daughter's birth, and when a

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Speaker 1: daughter gets to have her mother there for her birth.

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Speaker 1: Women women like to share that type of thing, right,

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Speaker 1: So you got the nursery done, you started fixing up

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Speaker 1: the guest room for your mom, and your fiance told

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Speaker 1: you that your mom gonna be staying at the hotel

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Speaker 1: and not at our house. He told me too much

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Speaker 1: to have both our mothers here. Oh hold on you, mammy,

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Speaker 1: him there you go. No, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: You know, I know you like it everything, but who

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Speaker 1: who the other old health in there? But see what

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Speaker 1: you cannot do is I'm carrying your child, Not that

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Speaker 1: I ever have, but that job right there is daunting.

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Speaker 1: Come across the country to be what you're moving to

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Speaker 1: a house. You got to open door policy with your family.

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Speaker 1: You're not letting them respect the fact that this is

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Speaker 1: going to be my house and you're not making me

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Speaker 1: feel like I have any sayts in my house? Why

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Speaker 1: would you sign up for that? Now? Be too much.

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Speaker 1: I have both your mother's here. And when we first

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Speaker 1: started day and your mother felt like he wasn't good

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Speaker 1: enough for you, and she let him know he had

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Speaker 1: to step up and take good care of me. Well,

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Speaker 1: my fiance say that held a grudge against her sins.

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Speaker 1: He's cordial to him. But then you ask him what

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Speaker 1: his problem is. He say, he don't care for your

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Speaker 1: mom and she's not welcome in our home. Hold up, pardon,

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Speaker 1: you gotta be a bigger man than this. Now, this

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Speaker 1: is her mother, this is her grandchild, this is her daughter,

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Speaker 1: and you mean she ain't welcome in your home? Why? Why? Dog?

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Speaker 1: Because she asked you to step up in the beginning?

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Speaker 1: How long ago was that? Yet did you step up?

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Speaker 1: What you're mad about? I made the ultimate sacrifice by

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Speaker 1: moving while I was pregnant, And now he tells me this.

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Speaker 1: He said, he the man of the house, and that's

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Speaker 1: what are the rules? Well, what rules do the women

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Speaker 1: get to have? Because the women, I know, they got

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Speaker 1: rules in their house, and rule number one is the

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Speaker 1: man don't tell them how to do the house now, No, look,

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Speaker 1: look system, I don't don't know why. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what example you the scene of it, but that ain't

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Speaker 1: high work. Women have a say so in that house,

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Speaker 1: and they really have the bulk of the say so.

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Speaker 1: Just to be honest with you. So now, if my

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Speaker 1: mother hasn't stay in the hotel, the baby and I

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Speaker 1: will be at the hotel. I don't know how close

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Speaker 1: you are to conceiving, but that's a crazy ass option

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Speaker 1: because you want to bring the baby home, not bring

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Speaker 1: the baby to the hotel. I shouldn't have to choose

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Speaker 1: between my mother and my fiance. You shouldn't, and he

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Speaker 1: shouldn't make you choose, especially during a time like this.

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Speaker 1: If this dude cannot be considered enough to go, you

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Speaker 1: know what? Hold on this? My girl she going through

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Speaker 1: it now. I'm stressing how she already pregnant? Man, something

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Speaker 1: can none of us do or even we can't even

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Speaker 1: remotely remotely understand that process. We have nothing we've ever

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Speaker 1: done that gives us any idea of what that is. Nothing,

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Speaker 1: we've nothing come close to what we do, And you

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Speaker 1: don't have a He doesn't have enough gumption in him

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Speaker 1: to think better of his potential wife and his child

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Speaker 1: that you wouldn't see. You don't want to see your

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Speaker 1: wife happy at this time, sister. If this man don't

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Speaker 1: want to make you happy and comfortable doing this period

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Speaker 1: of your life, what's gonna happen after the baby? Get him?

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Speaker 1: And if you go along with this right here, you're

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Speaker 1: setting the tone to have to go along with way worse.

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Speaker 1: So now, if I were use, this is what I

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Speaker 1: would do. I would say, Okay, that's fine, I'll go

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Speaker 1: back across the country and then my mother we can

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Speaker 1: go back to her house and my mother can enjoy

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Speaker 1: the birth of her grandchild and I can have this baby.

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Speaker 1: Because what you don't want to do is be in

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Speaker 1: a hotel room and taking the baby to a hotel room.

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Speaker 1: Shame on him. Yeah, I mean, bro, you're being beyond petty.

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Speaker 1: You're at a level of disrespect right now for your girl.

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Speaker 1: Just start with your girl and her wishes in the

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Speaker 1: predicament she must be in carrying this baby of yours. Something. Mission, submission, submission,

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Speaker 1: you know that's like you know, look, man, if you're

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Speaker 1: not a proper leader, what are you asking me to

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Speaker 1: submit to? You're not asking me to submit to nothing

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Speaker 1: that makes it better for me or makes it better

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Speaker 1: for our family. You're asking me to submit to your will.

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Speaker 1: Who'll put you in charge of me? See, let me

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Speaker 1: tell you something. God did not put me in charge

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Speaker 1: of my wife. I'm not in charge of her. I'm

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Speaker 1: her partner. And maybe you need to go back and

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Speaker 1: be with your mom. I think maybe you should say

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Speaker 1: that to him, just saying I'll tell you what so

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Speaker 1: I don't make you uncomfortable. And obviously this is your home.

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Speaker 1: I'll go back home and have my baby and you

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Speaker 1: can come see your child there at my mother's house

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Speaker 1: in the hospital. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: It's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Please now. Coming

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Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes after the hour, George's governor

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Speaker 1: will allow some businesses to open this week. We'll find

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Speaker 1: out which ones right after this. You're listening to this

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Speaker 1: Dave Harvey Morning Show