Speaker 1: Okay, you show me films to be buried with. Hello,
Speaker 1: and welcome to Films to be Buried with. My name
Speaker 1: is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian, an actor, a writer,
Speaker 1: a director, a hand sanitizing white and I love film.
Speaker 1: As Albert Einstein once said, life is like riding a bicycle.
Speaker 1: To keep your balance, you must keep moving, which is
Speaker 1: why I like to see all of my films in
Speaker 1: forty X getting jolted around and spilling my sprite and
Speaker 1: popcorn and all that shit. Surprising about that. I didn't
Speaker 1: know how, but Einstein was into that, but then I
Speaker 1: guess he did. Always like inventions. Every week and about
Speaker 1: a special guest over, I tell them they've died. Then
Speaker 1: I get them to discuss their lives through the films
Speaker 1: that meant the most of them. Previous guests include Barry Jenkins,
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith, Doug Benson, Jamie La Jamil, and even Said Mambles.
Speaker 1: But this week it's the brilliant comedian actor and writer
Speaker 1: Zaane ab Johnson. Get over to the Patreon of Aton
Speaker 1: dot com forward slash break Goalsteine, where you're getting extra
Speaker 1: twenty minutes of chat with Zana. We talk about beginnings
Speaker 1: we talk about endings. She tells me a secret. You
Speaker 1: get the whole episode on Cut and Add free and
Speaker 1: as a video. Check it out over at patreon dot com.
Speaker 1: Forward Slash Brett Goalstein, Ted Lasso Season two is all finished,
Speaker 1: available now on Apple TV Plus, so you can watch
Speaker 1: the whole show in one go. And so Make Season
Speaker 1: one is on Amazon Prime, so you can watch that too.
Speaker 1: Why not watching both? You know what I mean? It
Speaker 1: might as well. Nothing else to do? Is there? I
Speaker 1: mean there is Get on me your lives, don't you know?
Speaker 1: You don't have to do any of this. Just I'm
Speaker 1: greatful you're here. So Zaynab Johnson is an excellent comedian,
Speaker 1: writer and actor who I saw at a gig that
Speaker 1: I had in Los Angeles and she was so brilliant.
Speaker 1: I was very excited to get her on this podcast.
Speaker 1: We recorded this on Zoom a few days ago and
Speaker 1: it was such a joy. I think you're really going
Speaker 1: to like it. So that is it for now. I
Speaker 1: very much hope you enjoy episode one hundred and seventy
Speaker 1: of Films to be Buried With. Hello, and welcome to
Speaker 1: Films to be Buried With. It is I Brett Goldstein
Speaker 1: and I'm joined today by an actor, a writer, a
Speaker 1: last comic standinger, a netflixer, a uploader, a hero, a creator,
Speaker 1: a legend, and one of the finest stand up comedians
Speaker 1: I have seen in la Please welcome to the show,
Speaker 1: the wonderful, the brilliant. It's Saint Achatzo. This is huge.
Speaker 1: It is a delight to have you, an honor to
Speaker 1: have you of anything. And we have not really met.
Speaker 1: We met very briefly at an outdoor gig where everyone
Speaker 1: was smoking weed and I felt like I was getting
Speaker 1: high just standing there before going on stage. You went
Speaker 1: on stage, you were fucking brilliant, and I thought, yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to talk. Do you know what I want
Speaker 1: to talk? I want to hear more of this. So
Speaker 1: here's the thing. I looked you up, Okay, good, and
Speaker 1: aside from your incredible career, etc. My shocking thing is
Speaker 1: you're one of thirteen children. How do I know that's
Speaker 1: what you were going to say? Because I guess when
Speaker 1: anyone looks you up, that's surely the thing that they're like, what.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, well, of course he's a comedian.
Speaker 1: You're one of thirty. Where do you fit in this?
Speaker 1: In this mix? I am fifth from the top. So no,
Speaker 1: I'm fifth, You're fifth, Okay, I'm fifth. There's four, there's
Speaker 1: four above me, eight below me. Jesus Christ, how do
Speaker 1: you same mother, same father? I don't know where to start.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see it. Who's Who's your favorite? Um? I
Speaker 1: don't really have a favorite, but I think there have
Speaker 1: been a few favorites, like over the time. Like I
Speaker 1: love my youngest brother, but I think it's because he
Speaker 1: could have he could have been my kid, you know, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like six teen years older than him, so I
Speaker 1: like him. I think I think it depends on the age.
Speaker 1: Like right now, I'm really close to my sister, who
Speaker 1: is eight years younger than me. But like it took us,
Speaker 1: it took me getting into my thirties and her getting
Speaker 1: into her twenties for us to get close, you know,
Speaker 1: for a very long time, she just seemed like a
Speaker 1: little you know, just like But I mean, we all
Speaker 1: have very different personalities. I can't even invent different person.
Speaker 1: It's it's interesting to me because we come from the
Speaker 1: same two people, So for us to be so different,
Speaker 1: it's just it's strange or rather interesting. Yeah, but one
Speaker 1: everybody in my family thinks they're funnier than me. That's one. Uh.
Speaker 1: And when I did, like my one of my first
Speaker 1: TV sets, my younger one of my younger brothers was
Speaker 1: in the audience and he was like, I was so scared.
Speaker 1: He was like, it was the scariest I've been my
Speaker 1: entire life. And I was like, why. He was like,
Speaker 1: because I don't remember you being funny, and he was like,
Speaker 1: and then the first word you said and everybody laughed
Speaker 1: and I just relaxed. And then I listened to you
Speaker 1: and I was like, Oh, she's really funny. He was like,
Speaker 1: but at first, I just I don't remember you being
Speaker 1: funny when we were growing up. And I was like,
Speaker 1: probably because I was yelling at you. Yeah. He just
Speaker 1: thought this was like a Maker Wish Foundation thing. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're perfy. I'm annoyed because I'm aware that
Speaker 1: you have You're one of thirteen. I assume it's something
Speaker 1: you talk about a lot, and I hate talking to
Speaker 1: people about the stuff they have to talk about all
Speaker 1: the time. But it is fascinating purely just in terms
Speaker 1: of the logistics of it. Like I have one sister
Speaker 1: who I'm very very close with. I try and talk
Speaker 1: to her as much as I can. We talked maybe
Speaker 1: twice a week. How do you keep in contact with
Speaker 1: thirteen people on the rank? There's some that I talked
Speaker 1: to more often than others. But I think I definitely
Speaker 1: speak to my siblings like a good amount of time.
Speaker 1: Like I speak to a good five of them a
Speaker 1: few times a week. And it's not long conversations, but
Speaker 1: it's just like it'll be a text or you know,
Speaker 1: like we talk. But you just made me realize something
Speaker 1: I realized in my career. Now, my goal is to
Speaker 1: do something that is more fascinating than having twelve siblings.
Speaker 1: But I've never thought about it before. Surely that's why
Speaker 1: you're a comedian though, right, You've got you've got so
Speaker 1: desperate for attention. If you're fighting twelve other people for attention,
Speaker 1: you have to become a comedian. You have to have
Speaker 1: a TV show where you're a comedian on TV. Guy,
Speaker 1: see now I'm the fucking favorite. Sure, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's funny. That's the theme of the show. Oh is it?
Speaker 1: It is? It is. I do think that it's interesting
Speaker 1: that I chose something that is very independent, you know,
Speaker 1: like I could have joined a sketch group. I could
Speaker 1: have joined an improv group, but I think stand up
Speaker 1: is a very like lonely road, and I just I
Speaker 1: do find it very interesting that that's what I chose. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is interesting. It's interesting that you don't have an
Speaker 1: improv group called family. My family? Tell me this? You
Speaker 1: do your brothers and sisters? Do you have different ones
Speaker 1: for different occases? As in, do you go like if
Speaker 1: I feel sad, I need to call this one if
Speaker 1: I feel you know, they do they serve different purposes
Speaker 1: for you. No, I am like the caretaker of all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I am usually the one that is called upon
Speaker 1: when things are needed whatever. Like I can give everything.
Speaker 1: I can give advice, I can give sentiment, I can
Speaker 1: give money, I can give you know, but I do
Speaker 1: call different ones for different information. I know the wealth
Speaker 1: of information each one of them has. I know what
Speaker 1: their expertise is, so I call according to the expertise
Speaker 1: I need. Fascinating and how long we've been doing stand up?
Speaker 1: Ten years? Was that always your plan? Or was this
Speaker 1: something happened where you were like, I want to get
Speaker 1: into that. So I went to school. I got a
Speaker 1: degree in math and education, and I thought I would teach.
Speaker 1: And then my friend, my really close friend at the time,
Speaker 1: decided she was moving to LA to be famous, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't let her move without me
Speaker 1: because of all the famous women I know, I don't
Speaker 1: know who they're best friend is. You know, like, who's
Speaker 1: Julia Robert's best friend? Nobody knows? Great question, you know,
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, well, I gotta go exactly who knows?
Speaker 1: You know, we may never know. The only best friend
Speaker 1: we know is Gail and Oprah what It's really funny.
Speaker 1: It's just now I'm obsessed's best friend is. We don't know,
Speaker 1: Like George Clooney, I don't know who is her best
Speaker 1: friend could beat We don't know. You're right, we literally
Speaker 1: don't know. So hang on. So your famous friend is
Speaker 1: going and you're like you might be You need to
Speaker 1: be the first famous person than people know who their
Speaker 1: best friend is. Well, yeah, I just thought like I
Speaker 1: can't let her be famous without me. That was my thought.
Speaker 1: That was the thing that motivated me to pack up
Speaker 1: my car in New York City, drive across country and
Speaker 1: move to LA. I was like, I can't let her
Speaker 1: be famous about me. What happened to your friend? Please
Speaker 1: tell me she's she's Julia Robert I. Um, I don't know. Actually,
Speaker 1: so she's not famous and she's no longer your best friend.
Speaker 1: Yes that both both of those things are true. Wow,
Speaker 1: God did she? Is she not cooling you up? Like?
Speaker 1: I want to be your best friend? I want to
Speaker 1: be the best friend of the famous person? How did
Speaker 1: she fuck this up so badly? Um? I don't know
Speaker 1: if she would ever call you. No, it's not like that.
Speaker 1: It's not like it's not like that. It's just like
Speaker 1: a growing apart, you know. But I'm definitely more famous
Speaker 1: right now. You know, things can change in a heartbeat,
Speaker 1: but right now, right now, you went, Yeah, a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff comes up on Google, absolutely fascinated and you
Speaker 1: are currently So you're currently making your own show or
Speaker 1: developing your own show, or making your own show. You're
Speaker 1: somewhere in the developing Yeah, yeah, in the middle of it.
Speaker 1: And this one's your baby. Are we allowed to talk
Speaker 1: about it at all? No? Okay? God, I mean I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like you you you you gave
Speaker 1: it away. It's like you were like you have twelve
Speaker 1: brothers and sisters and you know, and you're fighting to
Speaker 1: be the favorite that's the show. I would watch that show.
Speaker 1: I would buy that show, and I would watch that show.
Speaker 1: I hope everyone else feels that same way. Well, of
Speaker 1: course they do, because it's fucking mad to have that
Speaker 1: many brothers and sisters. I don't know how you cope.
Speaker 1: It's just mad. So I want to see this show.
Speaker 1: When I was younger, when I was little, all I
Speaker 1: ever wanted was to be the only child. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: want it so bad to know what that was like,
Speaker 1: because it's like, you don't have any privacy, you don't
Speaker 1: you you know. And and the thing about it is
Speaker 1: we were very poor, but not because my father didn't
Speaker 1: have a good job. It's just like you you gotta
Speaker 1: have like basels money to take care of thirteen kids,
Speaker 1: you know, in New York City. We grew up in Manhattan,
Speaker 1: like it was oh my god, Yeah you were rich
Speaker 1: for for a full person family, but for thirt eight
Speaker 1: person family, Yeah you need basos money. Poverty. Oh oh
Speaker 1: saying that, Oh shit, I've forgotten to tell you something nuts.
Speaker 1: I should have told you this. I should have told
Speaker 1: you this at the beginning when when we looked on
Speaker 1: if anything, I should have told you. Oh fuck, I
Speaker 1: should have emailed you. Ah man, I just have to
Speaker 1: say it. I feel like a dunce m you. I
Speaker 1: just say you've died, You're dead. Okay, okay, okay, let
Speaker 1: men do that. Well you see mun faced? How did
Speaker 1: you die? Um? I mean I'm actually I'm devastated. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: it's just the tea. I mean, well, the tea is
Speaker 1: what relaxed to me. But it was hard news to hear. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Um okay, So this is probably gonna sound so cheesy. Um,
Speaker 1: but I died laying in my California King bed m
Speaker 1: M California King with and I'm dressed in all white
Speaker 1: linen okay, and the sheets are all white linen. Everything,
Speaker 1: every single thing is all white. The cheets are like
Speaker 1: the most soft organic cotton. It's one thousand thread count.
Speaker 1: My loving, loving husband is rubbing my feet as I
Speaker 1: take my last breath, and I'm laying on my back
Speaker 1: and I just kind of like float away, like I
Speaker 1: closed my eyes like really really softly, and I fade away.
Speaker 1: And I think my mom. I think she'll live like
Speaker 1: way beyond me, Like if I'm ninety, my mom will
Speaker 1: be like one hundred and twenty. Yeah, And I think
Speaker 1: she'll call one last time to tell me to do
Speaker 1: something like yeah, just to parent, like you know, her
Speaker 1: parents have to overparent, so she'll she'll maybe she'll be like,
Speaker 1: you know, Zina, make sure the temperature is right before
Speaker 1: you go something something. She'll be like, make sure your
Speaker 1: old white linen ceiling is clean. Make sure you have
Speaker 1: one clean underwear. Okay, so did you couple of questions? Okay,
Speaker 1: so lovely you know the visuals lovely white linen everywhere?
Speaker 1: I mean everywhere? Okay, everywhere. I like ceiling everywhere, So
Speaker 1: to ceiling, No, not floor to ceiling. Okay, is not
Speaker 1: like bailed in linen. Just all your stuff is it
Speaker 1: is still my bedroom. Okay. So it's your bettering. You're
Speaker 1: ninety that's the age you've chosen today. I'm somewhere in
Speaker 1: between ninety and one hundred. Okay, Well I'm going to
Speaker 1: need specifics. I'm ninety three. Okay, why ninety three? Three
Speaker 1: is my number? I like threes, and so three can
Speaker 1: go into nine three times, and then I just put
Speaker 1: a three after the nineties. So ninety three that's what
Speaker 1: happened in my mind. Just now, that's nice, that's really nice.
Speaker 1: I like that that's made a very magic number. But
Speaker 1: my other question is this husband rubbing your feet? Is
Speaker 1: it currently your husband or is this a future husband?
Speaker 1: He's my future husband. Okay, do you know him yet? No? Okay?
Speaker 1: What does he look like? And what's his what's his vibe?
Speaker 1: What does he look like like eventually or what does
Speaker 1: he look like when he's ninety something as well? Fair question?
Speaker 1: What do you look like when you met him? Oh?
Speaker 1: He was tall and uh like fin but still like
Speaker 1: muscular but not too fit, not like to not like
Speaker 1: all he does is go to the gym, but just
Speaker 1: like you know, like he has a combination of like
Speaker 1: caring about himself but not taking himself too seriously. He
Speaker 1: has a nice beer no no, um, he's probably dressed
Speaker 1: in like jeans and a hoodie and it fits him
Speaker 1: well nice and maybe like some simple but cool sneakers. Okay,
Speaker 1: what's his personality? Like? He's like, uh, super smart and
Speaker 1: like a little bit corny, like I'm totally the funny one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but but he appreciates that. And he goofs himself up
Speaker 1: a bit just to try and make me laugh, like
Speaker 1: he could super goofy just to make me laugh. And
Speaker 1: he does yeah. Yeah, And what does he do? What? Oh? No,
Speaker 1: he's in he does business. Uh Um, I don't care.
Speaker 1: But whatever it is, I respect it. But it's not
Speaker 1: it's not it's not the entertainment business. He could be
Speaker 1: in the entertainment business, but I prefer him to be
Speaker 1: behind the camera, you know, like so I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: mad if he was, like, um, a really talented like DP,
Speaker 1: or like a lawyer or like you know, yeah, a
Speaker 1: finance person. But like, is he a stand up comedian? No, no,
Speaker 1: he can't be his Danne comedian? No on my watch?
Speaker 1: Yeah no no no? And is he an actor? Let's hype, No,
Speaker 1: let's hype. No. You don't want that, No, you deserve
Speaker 1: you deserve better. So this guy, what's his name? What
Speaker 1: is his name? You're gonna have to say a lot
Speaker 1: unless you you know, have a nickname from my space.
Speaker 1: So I mean, I don't know because I haven't met
Speaker 1: him yet, So I guess I have to m his
Speaker 1: name is? What's the name? I would like a name
Speaker 1: that I don't mind saying for sixty years. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: if I want the simple route, maybe like Daniel Daniel
Speaker 1: He's listen, the man you've described is a fucking Daniel
Speaker 1: for sure. For sure you've described the Daniel that is
Speaker 1: an absolute Daniel you describe. Or maybe it's a name
Speaker 1: that I don't know yet, you know, maybe it's a name.
Speaker 1: It's not very common, it said Daniel. No, maybe it's
Speaker 1: a name like janeab We both noticed Daniel. They ain't
Speaker 1: ever Daniel. It goes well together as well. Who's coming
Speaker 1: over Tonight's ain't ever Daniel? Oh great, she's really funny.
Speaker 1: He's a bit goofy, but I love him. I love
Speaker 1: the way he wears a hoodie and jeans. They really fit. Oh,
Speaker 1: so this is all lovely. Your life with Daniels, says great.
Speaker 1: What slightly concerns me is how you died. Daniel's rubbing
Speaker 1: your feet. Yeah, why did that kill you? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: so it actually didn't kill me, right right? So I
Speaker 1: would really like to just die peacefully in my sleep,
Speaker 1: like I would like to just be laying down going
Speaker 1: to sleep. But I would also like to know the
Speaker 1: day so that I could have gotten everything done that
Speaker 1: I needed to get done. You know, I don't want
Speaker 1: to go to sleep and it'd be my last sleep,
Speaker 1: and I don't know it's my last sleep. I want
Speaker 1: to know that it's my last sleep, so that I said,
Speaker 1: oh my goodbyes, that you know, so that I handled
Speaker 1: all the business that I need to handle. But what
Speaker 1: I know is the rubbing of feet is so therapeutic,
Speaker 1: and it's so relaxing, and it's so it's a very
Speaker 1: small gesture, but it's a huge care for a person.
Speaker 1: I was in a hospital before, and it didn't matter
Speaker 1: how many drugs they gave me, like in a hospital bad,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how many drugs they gave me. Nothing
Speaker 1: felt as comforting or as promising or as hopeful as
Speaker 1: when my mom rubbed my feet. And because I remember
Speaker 1: that when one of my friends had her son, I
Speaker 1: went to the hospital that day and everybody bought gifts
Speaker 1: and food and I sat there and rubbed her feet.
Speaker 1: Her son is like ten years old now, and she
Speaker 1: always says, Zaynab, when you rubbed my feet, that was
Speaker 1: the thing that brought me the most comfort. So my
Speaker 1: husband is not like killing me with comfort. He is
Speaker 1: just making my departure the most serene it could be
Speaker 1: because he loves me so much. I mean, he played
Speaker 1: Goofy for sixty years. Yeah, that's Daniel for you. Man,
Speaker 1: that's beautiful. That's beautiful. To rubbing the feet in the
Speaker 1: hospital with a lady that's given birth. I think we should.
Speaker 1: I think we should start a thing where we go
Speaker 1: do that, just go around maternity was rubbing people's feet.
Speaker 1: That's fucking great. I think that they would love it.
Speaker 1: I think they would absolutely love it. We'd have to
Speaker 1: get permission. I mean, if this adminutebo which he's really
Speaker 1: going up this, I think it's better if it's a surprise. Nothing.
Speaker 1: There's nothing more uncomfortable than a surprise and beside yes
Speaker 1: from from a stranger. Yeah, thinking about it, it's a
Speaker 1: terrible idea not to at least cool ahead, Yeah exactly. Okay, Look,
Speaker 1: I have a thing on this podcast which is when
Speaker 1: people say they die peace for him asleep. I usually
Speaker 1: sort of think, yeah, but you died if something something
Speaker 1: happened while you're asleep, like you know, you had a
Speaker 1: heart attack or something happened. Okay, but I've never done
Speaker 1: this before, but I am going to let you die
Speaker 1: peacefully in your sleep because I really really liked it.
Speaker 1: Usually I make people who die peaceful a sleep have
Speaker 1: a horrific death while yours. Yours is genuinely beautiful. And
Speaker 1: I really liked Daniel, and I think it's lovely what
Speaker 1: I did for you, Daniel. Daniel. Also, it says a
Speaker 1: lot because you know, normally the husbands can't survive without
Speaker 1: the white that was Daniel. Daniel was strong. But Daniel,
Speaker 1: Daniel is going to be okay, Daniel is going to
Speaker 1: live your mom and she's going to live two hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty. Oh well, you know what I told him.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell Daniel the moment I die, don't don't
Speaker 1: let her make you do anything else. Omen I die,
Speaker 1: your obligation is defree. Do you do you worry about death?
Speaker 1: Is it something you think about a lot? I do?
Speaker 1: And it's like new recent for me, but like it's
Speaker 1: it's like, um, it causes like great anxiety. And I
Speaker 1: googled it like maybe some months ago, and a lot
Speaker 1: of like the articles that I read said that when
Speaker 1: you start to have like a fear of death, it
Speaker 1: means that you really have work to get done, Like
Speaker 1: you feel like you're not getting done. What you that's
Speaker 1: the anxiety you really want to get You really want
Speaker 1: to accomplish whatever these things, whatever it is, for that person,
Speaker 1: whether it's like you know, a job, or like a
Speaker 1: relationship or being a parent or like whatever it is,
Speaker 1: Like you, that's the thing that's making you fearful of
Speaker 1: death because your worry is like, oh, what if I
Speaker 1: don't accomplish this idea before I go Yeah. Interesting, So
Speaker 1: you've only recently felt this thing of I've got fucking
Speaker 1: shit to do and I need to get it done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if I felt that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like I've always felt that way, but may
Speaker 1: be in the past like year and a half, maybe
Speaker 1: two years. And it's not the pandemic. I know, anybody
Speaker 1: else would say like, oh, well, it's the pandemic, but no,
Speaker 1: it's unrelated to the pandemic. I have this like anxiety.
Speaker 1: I grew up with a very I haven't had many
Speaker 1: people die, Like only my dad died. That's the only
Speaker 1: Oh my father and and and my grandparents. But I
Speaker 1: haven't had to deal with much death even think about it,
Speaker 1: like thirteen kids and we're all just like, you know,
Speaker 1: here just freaking living, you know. And so my I
Speaker 1: always thought that like death was like a release, like
Speaker 1: death was like, um, so I'm Muslim, and so you know,
Speaker 1: we always say from a law, you come in, to
Speaker 1: a law, you return, and so it's always been something
Speaker 1: very natural to me. But lately I have been thinking
Speaker 1: about like the untimely death, not like, yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: the untimely death is the one that is uncomfortable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the untimely thing. There's definitely it's a it's a phenomenon
Speaker 1: of people, particularly people who have near death experiences or
Speaker 1: who nearly die. They then get a lot of stuff done.
Speaker 1: They seem to be like because they know, oh, I lived,
Speaker 1: and so I really need to make the most of this. Well,
Speaker 1: I feel like I had a near death experience, but
Speaker 1: it was when I was very young. Yeah, I was seventeen.
Speaker 1: I got hit by a truck. What the fuck? Hit
Speaker 1: by a truck? I've never heard hit by a truck.
Speaker 1: Hit by a truck is like a fucking cartoon. What
Speaker 1: the fuck happened? And like a truck truck, not like
Speaker 1: a not like a range rover, like a straight up truck,
Speaker 1: like a delivery, like a truck about it? Yeah, fuck
Speaker 1: drunk driver. M So, I was pushing the back of
Speaker 1: a car, right, I'll keep this brief. But I was
Speaker 1: in Atlanta, visiting a friend and like on like a
Speaker 1: winter break I was in high school, and we went
Speaker 1: to the mall, and then on our way home from
Speaker 1: the mall, we stopped at a gas station and she
Speaker 1: got gas. But it's like, I'm a New York City kid,
Speaker 1: so i don't know anything about cars. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to drip, like if I'm not even paying attention
Speaker 1: to street, like I'm not, you know, I'm just so
Speaker 1: long for the ride, right, And so we get maybe
Speaker 1: like a block away from the gas station, and the
Speaker 1: car just shuts down. It just turns off. And I'm thinking, like, well, man,
Speaker 1: I guess we like we just had gas, so why
Speaker 1: would it turn off? You know, later, you know, like
Speaker 1: what now, like fifteen years later, I think about it,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, maybe she put diesel in the car
Speaker 1: instead up, because you know that has like a really
Speaker 1: quick reaction, that has like a really quick negative reaction. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I don't I mean, I don't know, and I
Speaker 1: never knew. But she was you know, it was me
Speaker 1: and two other girls, and the driver was like, just
Speaker 1: let's just push it because we could literally see the
Speaker 1: gas station just left. So she's like just pushed the car,
Speaker 1: and I remember I had on some brand new sneakers,
Speaker 1: so I was like, I do not want to push
Speaker 1: the car, like I don't want to mess up my sneaker.
Speaker 1: And I get out and I pushed the car. Me
Speaker 1: and another friend we pushed the car and then I
Speaker 1: woke up in an ambulance. Oh really, Oh that's it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I woke up in an ambulance. I woke
Speaker 1: up for a few moments in the ambulance and I
Speaker 1: could see like the blood and the the e MT
Speaker 1: worker was cutting off my clothes and asking me and
Speaker 1: asking me like who the president was and who you know,
Speaker 1: like and yeah. And then I woke up like some
Speaker 1: time after that and like an ICU unit in the
Speaker 1: ICU room in the hospital, and that's it. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then yeah, and I had to rehabilitating and that took
Speaker 1: a very long time. And I still have like the scars,
Speaker 1: you know, to show it. But it does make me
Speaker 1: feel like, it does make me feel very purposeful because
Speaker 1: I'm like I could have died, yeah, Like first, in
Speaker 1: so many different ways. I could have died from the hit,
Speaker 1: I could have died from the surgeries. I could have
Speaker 1: died from infection. I could have, you know, like, I
Speaker 1: could do so many things, which is probably why I
Speaker 1: didn't choose like a terrible death, because I'm like, been there,
Speaker 1: done that, and I fucking sensed it. That's why I've
Speaker 1: given you a nice one. You're the first person I've
Speaker 1: let die nice because I sensed it. Wow. Can I
Speaker 1: ask you? And again, I don't want to sort of
Speaker 1: trigger anything. I don't you know, if this is too fun,
Speaker 1: please tell me. But so you've never remembered the thing,
Speaker 1: like in your memory of it, it's pushing the car
Speaker 1: and then you're in the ambulance and you have no Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't remember the hit. That's fascinating that your brain
Speaker 1: protects you from that old you know, I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing. Yeah, I've been told. I mean I've seen
Speaker 1: the police report, but I was told that we were
Speaker 1: pushing the back of the car the drunk the drunk
Speaker 1: driver slammed into us and pinned us in between the
Speaker 1: truck and the car and then yeah, and then backed
Speaker 1: out away from us and then drove off. So it's
Speaker 1: like a drunk driver hit and run. Fuck. And this woman,
Speaker 1: this woman witnessed the whole thing. And she followed him
Speaker 1: as she called the cops on her cell phone, and
Speaker 1: the cops cut him off at an intersection and yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so wow, um, do you what do you think happens
Speaker 1: when you die? Do you have a theory on that?
Speaker 1: Did you see anything? I used to I used to
Speaker 1: have a theory. But the every day it's like changing
Speaker 1: for me because so I used to think that you
Speaker 1: go to heaven like you go to like paradise to
Speaker 1: you know, you know, is what like what you say
Speaker 1: in Arabic. I used to think that you that that's
Speaker 1: what all of this, that's why you try and be
Speaker 1: a good human being. You know, that's all like you know,
Speaker 1: your points to get up there where they say everything
Speaker 1: is perfect and like dandy. But then one day, in
Speaker 1: an attempt to write a joke, I thought, wow, like
Speaker 1: I loved my father and he did great. He did,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, a great job while he was here,
Speaker 1: And I can't wait to see this was the thought
Speaker 1: that day. I was I probably had a dream about
Speaker 1: him or something, and I'm like, oh, man, at least
Speaker 1: when I get to heaven, I don't see my father again, right,
Speaker 1: And then it hit me, I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: the comedian brain. It hit me like what if he
Speaker 1: doesn't want to see you? What if what if his
Speaker 1: heaven does not involved you know he's like that? And
Speaker 1: then I started thinking about it, like we all have
Speaker 1: this idea that our heaven involves other people, but like
Speaker 1: if like, like, can one of my ex boyfriends be
Speaker 1: in my heaven? That's not heaven? This is really interesting.
Speaker 1: You you've really got to curate you're heaven. You're right,
Speaker 1: You're absolutely right. Fuck because because they, you know, like
Speaker 1: religions make it seem like it's just this one big
Speaker 1: place that everybody that is good goes to and then
Speaker 1: Hell is this like one bad place. But I'm just
Speaker 1: like I don't, but you're right. Heaven with everyone is
Speaker 1: in it isn't heaven. Isn't heaven at all. That's like
Speaker 1: now and it's awful. And if heaven, if everybody is
Speaker 1: in heaven, then everything there's a pandemic in heaven. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're blaming my mind. Well listen, I've got news.
Speaker 1: There is a heaven and it is curated. And I've
Speaker 1: gone through your friend's list, I've gone through your close
Speaker 1: friends list on Instagram, and he knows lotter In and
Speaker 1: your dad is there. He's happy to see you. Surprisingly
Speaker 1: he's got He's given me a list in order of
Speaker 1: favorites and you made the top three, so that's good.
Speaker 1: And everyone's very happy to see you. And there's your
Speaker 1: your favorite thing in heaven? What's your favorite thing? This
Speaker 1: is going to be so cliche, say it watching movies.
Speaker 1: Oh well, then you fit right in. You fit right
Speaker 1: in if that's your favorite in the world. This place
Speaker 1: is made of movies. It's like challenging the chocolate factory,
Speaker 1: but instead of chocolate, it's my fies, just DVDs, just
Speaker 1: VHS tapes in a river of VHS tapes and Beta
Speaker 1: Max trees and LaserDisc chairs. And you have a lovely
Speaker 1: time there and perfectly fried French fries. Perfectly fried French fries. Goy,
Speaker 1: I mean, no, no question, they're perfectly fried. Okay. So
Speaker 1: when you get there, they give you a cone of
Speaker 1: perfecly fried French fries and everyone's excited to see you,
Speaker 1: and they want to know about your life, but they
Speaker 1: weren't know about your life through film. And the first
Speaker 1: thing they ask you is what's the first film you remember,
Speaker 1: saying exactly jump. I think the first film I remember
Speaker 1: seeing is a Land Before Time, Lovely Lovely Filmand Before Time,
Speaker 1: Don't Believe Dinosaurs, Happy Sad. It was a cartoon about
Speaker 1: It was like a feature length cartoon about dinosaurs and
Speaker 1: this one dinosaur on the search to get back to
Speaker 1: his parents, right, yeah, yeah, and he made friends along
Speaker 1: the way. It's a beautiful film. Do you remember who
Speaker 1: you saw see at the cinema or on TV? I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I did go to the movies a
Speaker 1: lot with my um, with my family, Like I remember
Speaker 1: specifically seeing Coming to America and being like really really young,
Speaker 1: like probably too young to even watch that movie, but
Speaker 1: my father used to really like going to matinee's and
Speaker 1: so we would just all go to the matinees with him.
Speaker 1: I remember specifically seeing that in a movie theater, But
Speaker 1: Land Before Time maybe I saw it at home. That's
Speaker 1: a really good first one. What is the film that
Speaker 1: made you cry the most? Are you a crier? Ain't Johnson?
Speaker 1: I used Synapia Crier? Are you Synapia Crier? And yeah,
Speaker 1: not at all? And I used to pride myself on it,
Speaker 1: like I ain't crying sixteen years, like I was that person,
Speaker 1: and like, if I did have to cry, I would
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, like it would yeah, I
Speaker 1: would be I would be taken aback by the cry.
Speaker 1: But now, oh my god, the older I get, I
Speaker 1: just comes and I just I can see a commercial, like,
Speaker 1: I mean, it could be a state farm commercial, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, please honor her claim. You know.
Speaker 1: Like the film that made me cry the most, probably
Speaker 1: and it's a very specific scene in this film, Little
Speaker 1: Miss Sunshine. I mean, I'm a huge fan of the film.
Speaker 1: What is the specific scene? Oh my god. So the
Speaker 1: entire film, the brother is like preparing to go to
Speaker 1: the Air Force. Right then at some point when they're
Speaker 1: in the van, it's like you could tell this is
Speaker 1: his life's dream, like this is his out you know.
Speaker 1: And then at some point while they're in the van,
Speaker 1: they discover he's color blind. And because he's colorblind, he'll
Speaker 1: never be able to go to the Air Force. And
Speaker 1: that was devastating. Yeah, that was devastating on so many
Speaker 1: different levels. I'm just like, and I mean, there's so
Speaker 1: many reasons to cry in that movie, but that one
Speaker 1: I was just like, I didn't even know you couldn't
Speaker 1: be colorblind and go to the airport, you know, like
Speaker 1: I didn't. Yeah, it was I felt terrible. I felt terrible. Yeah. Interesting,
Speaker 1: it's about sibling as well. What's the film that scared
Speaker 1: you the most? Do you like being scared saying no, no,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you? No. I do not like being
Speaker 1: scared at all. Right, Um, I think the first like
Speaker 1: scary movie I saw it was like Freddie you know,
Speaker 1: Freddy Krueger, like Friday to thirteen. And I hated it
Speaker 1: because I always, all my life I've dreamt in color
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is exactly where a scary person,
Speaker 1: a scary monster could get me was in my dream.
Speaker 1: So like I grew up in New York. Right in
Speaker 1: New York you live in like you live in skyscrapers
Speaker 1: and stuff. So like the Jason, all the scary movies
Speaker 1: where you go through the woods, I'm like, that will
Speaker 1: never happen. I live in New York. Like, you know,
Speaker 1: the scenario doesn't present itself for a killer. But with
Speaker 1: Friday the thirteenth, with so many stays, there's too many
Speaker 1: stays for them, Jason will get so. Then with Freddy Krueger,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, all you have to
Speaker 1: do is go to sleep. I was like, this isn't good.
Speaker 1: So that scared me. But then you know, like sure,
Speaker 1: I mean after like I don't know, like five or
Speaker 1: six films, then they did Jason takes Manhattan, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, oh no, they did. He did take
Speaker 1: around Hut And I don't even know how he did it.
Speaker 1: He learned to walk upstairs faster. Maybe yeah, I didn't
Speaker 1: even see it, so I'll never know. But I know
Speaker 1: as a kid, I used to be scared. It's not
Speaker 1: the film that scared me the most. I'll get to that,
Speaker 1: But the film that I used to be afraid of
Speaker 1: was Wizard of Us. I used to be afraid of
Speaker 1: the witch with the with the green face. That's it. Like.
Speaker 1: I would even have dreams that a witch would show
Speaker 1: up and then somehow pretend to be my mother, and
Speaker 1: in the dream I had to choose between the witch
Speaker 1: and my mother, and I better make the right choice. Jesus,
Speaker 1: that's crazy, right, Yeah, that's really scary. Did you make
Speaker 1: the right choice? I made the right choice. And you
Speaker 1: know what, I think I made the right choice most times,
Speaker 1: or I would wake up before it was even revealed,
Speaker 1: you know, and maybe I don't know, maybe that sucks
Speaker 1: some really deep rooted something about my feelings about my mom.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, but one summer I did like
Speaker 1: an intensive at Rodah, and so I spent the summer
Speaker 1: in London and I saw Yeah, and I saw Wicked.
Speaker 1: I saw Wicked in London and I was so moved.
Speaker 1: I never was afraid of witches again. Wow. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was like intermission, did not want to get up out
Speaker 1: my seat. I was like, I'm ready for the second half,
Speaker 1: let's go. But I think it's because it told me
Speaker 1: like a story about the witch that I didn't It's like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: she's not a witch at all. Yeah, Which your Mother
Speaker 1: is a great game show for us to pitch to CBS.
Speaker 1: Which to CBS you think CBS about it? Yeah, Which
Speaker 1: your Mom is pretty good. I see the post is
Speaker 1: very easy, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: really like it. What's the prize. What's the prize? Well,
Speaker 1: the prizes you live, I guess. If you pick. If
Speaker 1: you pick, you pick your If you pick your mother,
Speaker 1: you get to go home. If you pick the Witch,
Speaker 1: you have to stay and stay of the week at CBS.
Speaker 1: At like CBS studios. Yeah, let's see that. Radford. Just
Speaker 1: just get put in one of the offices there for
Speaker 1: a week. We do like a sort of magazine show
Speaker 1: about you. Anyway, what's the film that most people don't like?
Speaker 1: It's not critically acclaimed, but you love it. You don't
Speaker 1: care what any of these idiots say about that film?
Speaker 1: What a boy? Oh yeah, great, great shot water Boy.
Speaker 1: It is such a good film. Yeah, he couldn't make
Speaker 1: that film now, just with like PC culture and stuff like,
Speaker 1: he could never make that. He's like, you have to
Speaker 1: ask yourself like as he handed you know, like what
Speaker 1: like you cannot make that film today? Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: loved like I loved it. I loved water Boy. Yeah, funny,
Speaker 1: he's funny. I got no base with him. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: was like, well Medulla oblongata, Like it's just, uh, it's
Speaker 1: too funny that that's that movie is too funny. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm the water Boy. What come on? Sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: What is it the film that alternatively you used to love,
Speaker 1: You loved it, but you've watched it recently and you
Speaker 1: do not like it anymore for whatever reason. That may be. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I don't dislike it, but I don't think it
Speaker 1: age as well. Ferris Bueller's day Off. Why do you
Speaker 1: believe that a well, a few things, Ferris Bueller was
Speaker 1: quite an asshole. I don't know. I just don't think that.
Speaker 1: Like the hero nowadays is not the asshole. You know.
Speaker 1: It took place in like Chicago, and it was like,
Speaker 1: not a black person in sight. It's like this freaking
Speaker 1: teenage kid just got on a float in the middle
Speaker 1: of a parade in Chicago and was like, you know,
Speaker 1: like I just like it just when I watch it now,
Speaker 1: I have to suspend my disbelief so far to really
Speaker 1: appreciate the story being told. You know, but when I
Speaker 1: was a kid, I loved it. I wanted to be
Speaker 1: Ferres Viueler. I hated his sister. Yeah. The only thing
Speaker 1: that age as well and Ferris Bueller is the girlfriend.
Speaker 1: She had on this white fringe leather jacket. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: where is that jacket? That jacket would look amazing today,
Speaker 1: Miss Sarah. Is it Mia Sarah, Miss Sarah's jacket? We must,
Speaker 1: we must get her name. Is that the actress's name? Oh?
Speaker 1: My god, I would love it. I would absolutely love it. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: let's let's make a night, shall we. I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: Daniel what to get you for Christmas? What is the
Speaker 1: film that means the most to you? Not necessarily the
Speaker 1: film itself is any good, but because the experience you
Speaker 1: had around seeing the film will always make it special
Speaker 1: to you. Is that, Nap Johnson? Okay, I have to
Speaker 1: change your question a little bit to answer this. The film.
Speaker 1: But the film isn't special to me. But I have
Speaker 1: never had this experience being a film before. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you know I said I was Ray is Muslim, right.
Speaker 1: I don't know much about the church. But there was
Speaker 1: a time where a movie called The Passion of the
Speaker 1: Christ came out. Yes, I've seen it, and and I
Speaker 1: just kept hearing like that's all that was in a
Speaker 1: news cycle. That's what everyone talked to, you know. And
Speaker 1: this is like a bit before social media, but it
Speaker 1: still has the same like if something could have trended
Speaker 1: before social media. It's one of the biggest films of
Speaker 1: all times, the biggest films of all time. And like
Speaker 1: none of my friends were I was young, you know,
Speaker 1: like none of my friends were talking about it. No,
Speaker 1: but but I remember feeling like, wow, people, there's these
Speaker 1: like there's nobody in the middle. I didn't hear anybody
Speaker 1: with passionate or christ go like I didn't hear that,
Speaker 1: you know, like I can take it or later. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like it was like really opposite ends of
Speaker 1: the spectrum, like amazing or like freaking hate did it right?
Speaker 1: Like Black from This? And I was like, I got
Speaker 1: to see this film and I went by myself to
Speaker 1: the movie theater and I sat there and I watched
Speaker 1: that film, and I probably after the first ten minutes,
Speaker 1: I cried for two hours. Wow, I cried for two hours.
Speaker 1: And I'm talking about like it was painful to cry, right.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't like, um, it wasn't like all, you know,
Speaker 1: it was like really like I felt like I was
Speaker 1: watching the equivalent. This is gonna sound super crazy right now,
Speaker 1: but forgive me. I felt I felt like I was
Speaker 1: watching what somebody today might describe as like George Floyd
Speaker 1: there George Floyd experience. Do you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: Like for me, it was just about like to watch
Speaker 1: somebody be like, forget the religious story, forget forget that
Speaker 1: they're saying that's Jesus. I sat and watched like human
Speaker 1: being be tortured for two hours and that that was
Speaker 1: that that just I just cried. I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1: And so the reason why that's not the reason why
Speaker 1: it stays with me. Though when I got up to
Speaker 1: leave after the film was over, you can see I'm
Speaker 1: visibly like swollen and distressed. And I'm also like this teenager,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm also like this young teenager and that
Speaker 1: the movies by herself that just finished watching this movie.
Speaker 1: And this woman comes up to me and she grabs
Speaker 1: my hand and she says, are you okay? And I
Speaker 1: was like trying to like get my words, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm okay, I'll be okay. And then
Speaker 1: she says to me, see why it's important to make
Speaker 1: Jesus your lord and say like she tried to come
Speaker 1: back me in that moment, and it pissed me. Or
Speaker 1: I went from one emotion who are not? And then
Speaker 1: I was so pissed. I was so upset that she
Speaker 1: made it about the religion. I was so upset that
Speaker 1: she made it about this thing that, you know, this
Speaker 1: thing that everybody is fighting for control over, and then
Speaker 1: she did that it wasn't just about like a human
Speaker 1: being was just tortured right in front of us for
Speaker 1: two hours. And I said that to her. I was
Speaker 1: like what, Like I grabbed my hand away from her
Speaker 1: and I was like what. I was like, No, No,
Speaker 1: this isn't about Christianity at all or Jesus. I was like,
Speaker 1: I just watched the man tortured for two hours. That
Speaker 1: was hard, she say. She just looked at me like, like,
Speaker 1: how dare I she would? I'm sure she wouldn't told
Speaker 1: this story much different, Like, you know, this was a
Speaker 1: girl who didn't care that it was Jesus. You know,
Speaker 1: do you think she was just waiting outside the screen
Speaker 1: and trying to convert people after every every showing. If
Speaker 1: she was doing that and they didn't kick her out
Speaker 1: the movie theater, then I'm gonna have to write amc Ale. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's that's really interesting what it's Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that film is kind of insane. It is just two
Speaker 1: hours of a man being tortured, tortured, and it's brue too,
Speaker 1: and I don't really like it too. It's horriful. It's
Speaker 1: really really really Harway, like, what is what? What is this? Yeah? Yeah, great, sons,
Speaker 1: I have a happier moment though, okay, we can keep
Speaker 1: that one. When I saw a Shrek the First Trek, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll never forget. I'll never forget. My friend she was
Speaker 1: like babysitting her niece that day and she's like, home,
Speaker 1: let me say movie theater, and I'm like to see what.
Speaker 1: She's like, i gotta take my niece to the movies
Speaker 1: to see Shrek. And I'm like a kid, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to do the movie. Like again, I'm like a
Speaker 1: cool teenager. Yeah, so I'm like, no, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do that. It was one of the best experiences.
Speaker 1: I mean, I was laughing so hard. It made me
Speaker 1: realize that these like animated films, for the most part,
Speaker 1: they're not like four kids. Like the visual aspect of
Speaker 1: it are for kids, but the dialogue, the story, they're
Speaker 1: not for kids at all. Like I was laughing, So
Speaker 1: I was laughing so hard. I looked over at my
Speaker 1: friend's niece, who at the time was like four or
Speaker 1: five years old, and she was just like, you keep
Speaker 1: laughing at the donkey, what's funny? And I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: you don't even know. You don't even know how funny exactly.
Speaker 1: What is the film you most relate to zon. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I relate to a film. Is that bad?
Speaker 1: It's very interesting you say that. I find this is
Speaker 1: the question people struggle with the most. It depends. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the reason it would surprise me you saying that
Speaker 1: is because you're obviously you've been so affected by so
Speaker 1: many things in the films you've talked about. You know,
Speaker 1: you're you're obviously very empathetic and sensitive, and you take
Speaker 1: these things and even though it's just the film. You
Speaker 1: could argue to the film, but you're devastated by things
Speaker 1: you've seen or whatever. But that you you don't think
Speaker 1: that you've connected with any of them in a way
Speaker 1: like that relates to you. Is interesting. Like I don't
Speaker 1: know if I've ever watched anything a film and saw myself.
Speaker 1: I have watched things and like wondered, like what that's like,
Speaker 1: you know, but I honestly don't think that I've seen
Speaker 1: a story or a character portrayed on film. And I mean, look,
Speaker 1: maybe this is just like an enlightening moment for me
Speaker 1: that I have some work to do in creating, you know,
Speaker 1: because I don't I don't feel like I see myself
Speaker 1: somebody that I relate to on camera very often. Then, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would take this as really exciting news because that
Speaker 1: means you've got to fucking make something. Yeah, this is
Speaker 1: very cool. At least at least you know whatever you're
Speaker 1: gonna make hasn't been done. Yeah, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to. And there's like films that I love, like
Speaker 1: I loved Film and Louise I love like this, I
Speaker 1: loved Annie. I loved so many films. But I never
Speaker 1: see myself. I'm even thinking about films with like all women,
Speaker 1: Like I'm thinking about like colored purple, women of Bruce,
Speaker 1: of like women of you know, like black Man. I
Speaker 1: don't I watch it, and I'm like, dang, I wonder
Speaker 1: what that was like. But I don't see myself at all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's the sexiest film You've ever seen? Sexiest film I've
Speaker 1: ever seen. It's called Takers. Are you familiar with Takers? Takers?
Speaker 1: I called I called Takers the Fine Boy movie because
Speaker 1: it has every fine boy in the movie. It has
Speaker 1: It's just Elba, it has Michael Ealy, it has Hayden Christiansen,
Speaker 1: it has Chris Brown, like it's like every every fine
Speaker 1: man of the Wait. Wait, wait, Chris Brown, carry on,
Speaker 1: Chris Brown debatable for something. But I'm a huge Chris
Speaker 1: Brown crusher, So okay. But it had like it just
Speaker 1: had like a body of like fine men, right, and
Speaker 1: then they had to like you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it was like a scheme or something. I don't really
Speaker 1: remember the plot. I just remember what they were trying
Speaker 1: to take. They were trying to take something or something
Speaker 1: doesn't better. Yeah they were takers, yeah, but they were
Speaker 1: really what they really take. It was my fucking heart,
Speaker 1: my my libido. Yeah. I didn't know the word for it.
Speaker 1: But it's like it's not like magic, my it's not
Speaker 1: like men being strippers. It's like sexy in a different way,
Speaker 1: you know, just men taking shit. Just say, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: That's a bit. It's a good tagline. They're just fine
Speaker 1: and they're taking and they're taking shit. Well. There's a
Speaker 1: subcategory to these questions ain't have done. Subcategory is traveling
Speaker 1: bone is worrying? Why dones a film you found arousing
Speaker 1: that you weren't sure you should. I mean, I could say,
Speaker 1: and this is totally not this category, but I do,
Speaker 1: I am aroused by stuff like this. I could say,
Speaker 1: like a film like The Notebook, you know, because I
Speaker 1: just think a man's like undying love for a woman.
Speaker 1: It's just super super around. I don't I think it's
Speaker 1: interesting you find that worrying. Why don't that sounds like
Speaker 1: a nice sounds like a nice healthy Why it's like
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, that's the poorn I want to see.
Speaker 1: He just he no, no, no private parts. He built
Speaker 1: a house. Oh that gets me going. Look at him
Speaker 1: really respectful and sticking around forever. Look at him, he's
Speaker 1: he's running to her in the rain. Oh that's that's
Speaker 1: the spot. Oh, I mean yeah. There is a scene though,
Speaker 1: and set it off, which is not like a film
Speaker 1: that you should ever be aroused spy. Well, I could
Speaker 1: see that. It's just like four women, you know, like
Speaker 1: four badass women. Yeah, yeah, that exactly. That's the female Takers.
Speaker 1: But there's a scene where Jada Pinketts character she has
Speaker 1: sex with Blair Underwood h And it's so like sensual
Speaker 1: at first, and then it's just like this perfectly angled
Speaker 1: view of like what it's supposed to be Jada Pinkett's ass.
Speaker 1: And two things happened to me whenever I see it. One,
Speaker 1: I'm like oh, and then two, I'm like, I wonder
Speaker 1: if that's a body double, and then that's it. You
Speaker 1: know who's who is the body double. I'm gonna spoil
Speaker 1: it for you. It's Julia Robert's best friend. She did
Speaker 1: very well as Jada Pinketts. That would be amazing. And
Speaker 1: also she only had one job ever in life and
Speaker 1: that sucks. Yeah, well, she's all right, She's don't worry
Speaker 1: about Oh, what is objectively, objectively the greatest film ever made.
Speaker 1: Might not be your favorite, but it's objective to be
Speaker 1: the greatest. Actually tried to convince an audience of this
Speaker 1: the other day and they were not on board with it.
Speaker 1: Forrest Gump. Wow, okay, what was that reaction? It's interesting.
Speaker 1: If you I'm gonna have to make you listen to it.
Speaker 1: An old episode of the podcast that I had with
Speaker 1: Dame Baptiste where he gives a very, very, very convincing
Speaker 1: argument that Forrest Gump is a film let me hear
Speaker 1: your I will leave it with you. Tell me your
Speaker 1: theory and why it's the greatest. There's so much happening,
Speaker 1: and Forrest Gump is again a film that they could
Speaker 1: not make today. If you walked in a room. Today,
Speaker 1: we'll talk about like a Jenna. I don't know what
Speaker 1: love is Jenna. They would be like they would they
Speaker 1: would run you out of town yea with a hashtag cancelation. Notice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Forrest Gump was somebody that like, Okay, here's here's the
Speaker 1: reason why it's the greatest movie. Because it took one man.
Speaker 1: It took one kind of like I'm just gonna call
Speaker 1: him an autistic savant. I don't know what he was
Speaker 1: right where he managed to be the most unlikely person
Speaker 1: in every greatest moment in history. And because they did that,
Speaker 1: and it was laced with it was effortlessly laced with
Speaker 1: like a love story, a man's undying love for this woman. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was laced with these unlikely friendships that just you know,
Speaker 1: that developed. And then because you travel through decades with
Speaker 1: this person, through this person's life, you get to experience
Speaker 1: via film some of the greatest moments that you weren't
Speaker 1: around to see, some of the greatest music that you
Speaker 1: weren't around to expl you know what I'm saying, You
Speaker 1: get to live through time. Forrest Gump is like it's
Speaker 1: like a happy go lucky history lesson that everybody needs
Speaker 1: of an America? Is it really America? No? But it
Speaker 1: is the idealistic version, Like who else to tell it?
Speaker 1: Forest is not like a straight white guy. We hate
Speaker 1: straight white men right now. Forest is like Forest is
Speaker 1: like a level above special needs, and that's the straight
Speaker 1: white guy we can always get behind. Lcen is like
Speaker 1: a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Speaker 1: That's the greatest film. Yeah, yeah, Forest, Have you ever, sorry, Forest,
Speaker 1: have you ever seen a box of chocolates? They do
Speaker 1: tell you what's in them. You'll see what you're gonna
Speaker 1: get on the inside. But that is so true. But
Speaker 1: have you ever eaten a box of chocolates and you
Speaker 1: know exactly what it says, but you still bite it
Speaker 1: and look inside as if you don't know what it
Speaker 1: actually says. You're absolutely right, Forest, it's the greatest rhapsolutely right.
Speaker 1: You've done it. You've done it. What's the film you
Speaker 1: could or have watched the most over and over again
Speaker 1: coming to America? Correct? What's the film? Now? We don't
Speaker 1: like to be negative saying that it fairly quick? What's
Speaker 1: the worst film we've ever seen? Human Centipede? Fair enough?
Speaker 1: And I saw it while in London. I know it
Speaker 1: takes place in Germany or something like that, but I
Speaker 1: tend to, you know, the entire European you know, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, oh my god, somebody put
Speaker 1: me on a flight immediately. These people are crazy. I
Speaker 1: don't even want my passport stamped. Get me out of here.
Speaker 1: Did you see it in the cinema? No? Okay, did
Speaker 1: friends make you watch it? I watched it on my
Speaker 1: own because I saw, like I think I maybe watching
Speaker 1: My sister's husband is British and so they lived there
Speaker 1: for a while, and I think that maybe I was
Speaker 1: just up late one day. I probably watched it with
Speaker 1: my sister and her husband, but I think I suggested
Speaker 1: it and I was like, it's like uh like, I'm like,
Speaker 1: this can't be like you know how you have to
Speaker 1: watch and then it's so fun task it's so what
Speaker 1: you know. But you also can't look away because you
Speaker 1: have to see how it you You need to be redeemed.
Speaker 1: That's not a film that you just stopped watching. You
Speaker 1: need you need for somebody to get away or for
Speaker 1: some you know, like you but terrible at the end,
Speaker 1: I was like oh no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, no no no no no no no, no
Speaker 1: no no, Europe, we have to change this. Thank you.
Speaker 1: What is that you're in comedy? You're very funny. What's
Speaker 1: the film that made you laugh the most? Sat M.
Speaker 1: Johnson probably forty year old Virgin Funny film. Funny film
Speaker 1: and my favorite part, the funniest part, I believe is
Speaker 1: an improviscene. It is between Kevin Hart and Romani Malco.
Speaker 1: I hope I'm saying his name right. But Kevin comes
Speaker 1: in Kevin's character and this is like before the world
Speaker 1: loves Kevin, but this is like I don't think Kevin
Speaker 1: has done any better, like like he's good, sure, but
Speaker 1: it's like I'm like that that was like pure freaking comedy.
Speaker 1: You know. He comes in and he like he wants
Speaker 1: a discount, and he feels like Romani's character should give
Speaker 1: him a discount just because he's black, right, And so
Speaker 1: he's like, this is not how that works, like you
Speaker 1: know you, and he's like, get your man. Like they
Speaker 1: just go back and forth and I can't I can't
Speaker 1: really say it. I can't really say it because it
Speaker 1: involves the N word. But at some point he's like, no,
Speaker 1: you you wanted the N word. You got the N word, No,
Speaker 1: you got to like it was just it's so I
Speaker 1: can watch that scene over and over and over, and
Speaker 1: I think it's because at some point you see that
Speaker 1: Kevin wants to break, Like you see that. It's it's
Speaker 1: you know when you watch comedians and they're they're one
Speaker 1: up in each other in the scene, and it's like
Speaker 1: in one of them and it's like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's like who's gonna win the battle of this improv?
Speaker 1: You know, And I feel like that's what that movie
Speaker 1: is so hysterical to me. But that scene is hilarious.
Speaker 1: Love it, Love it. Zaynab Johnson, you have been one
Speaker 1: of the greatest. I've loved this. I've loved every aspect
Speaker 1: of this. However, when you were ninety three years old,
Speaker 1: three times three times three times three three out the
Speaker 1: three made nine with the three four threes magic number.
Speaker 1: You were ninety three, you were in your all white
Speaker 1: linen bedroom, all white linen everywhere, not on the ceiling,
Speaker 1: let's be real, just on your furniture, and you were
Speaker 1: laying in your bed and you you were told this
Speaker 1: was the day, this was the day you were going
Speaker 1: to die. You were very healthy. But you said today
Speaker 1: to day didn't die. And you were with Daniel, lovely, lovely,
Speaker 1: lovely Daniel, like a like a young Colin Firth. There
Speaker 1: he was Daniel, and he said, my darling, my angel.
Speaker 1: I've loved you all my life. And he said, I'm
Speaker 1: going to do my favorite things. I'm going to cry
Speaker 1: telling this, and he said, I'm going to do your
Speaker 1: favorite thing. And he rubbed your feet and you said,
Speaker 1: I love you, Daniel, thank you for being goofy for
Speaker 1: all these years. And he said I just liked making
Speaker 1: you laugh. And you close your eyes and you peacefully
Speaker 1: went to a curated heaven where he saw all your favorites. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm walking by with a coffin, you know, I'm like
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I wonder where's Nymies? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I know what day of the week it is.
Speaker 1: I got upstairs. Daniel. He's still at your He's on
Speaker 1: his knees at a better guy. You're okay, Daniel, and
Speaker 1: we hug. That's what Daniel was like. He's a big
Speaker 1: he's a really good huggers, a big old hug. And
Speaker 1: he leaves the room and I say, don't worry. I'll
Speaker 1: take care of this and I'll pop you in the coffin.
Speaker 1: But the coffin I got for you was smaller than
Speaker 1: it was a bit small because you had a narrow corridor,
Speaker 1: so I knew you stay away with his nose again
Speaker 1: up there, sending me different anyway, I really have to
Speaker 1: stuff you in the coffin. But because you've had the
Speaker 1: nicest death we've ever had, this actually goes quite well.
Speaker 1: Just get you in the coffin. But there's really not
Speaker 1: enough room in this coffin for anything else. There's only
Speaker 1: enough room to put a DVD. Slip it in the
Speaker 1: side for you to take across to the other side.
Speaker 1: And on the other side, it's movie night. Every night,
Speaker 1: one night, it's your movie night. What film are you
Speaker 1: taking to show everyone in heaven when it's your movie night?
Speaker 1: Say Nev Johnson. I'm so sorry to give the same
Speaker 1: answer again. Coming to America. It's coming to America. You
Speaker 1: know what it is. I've watched Coming to America so
Speaker 1: many times I can I can recyte this movie to
Speaker 1: you without I don't even need the film playing, And still,
Speaker 1: after one hundred plus views, I enjoy it the same,
Speaker 1: and I discover something different. You know what else is
Speaker 1: one of the rare films from twenty years ago? What
Speaker 1: is it twenty years ago? Yeah, Bertie at this point, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that has red comedy films that has dated very well,
Speaker 1: Like it isn't it's surprisingly kind of progressive and you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like there so many films of
Speaker 1: that era you're watching now and you're like, oh god,
Speaker 1: where It's coming to America is still still holds up
Speaker 1: in every aspect when I agree with you. And I
Speaker 1: realized that I started watching sciencelf for the first time,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is interesting. These jokes don't
Speaker 1: really age well, like they it's like irrelevant what he's
Speaker 1: talking about, right, in my opinion. But when I first
Speaker 1: decided that I was going to do comedy, I went
Speaker 1: to open mics and then someone told me to try
Speaker 1: this class, this comedy class, and the woman who was
Speaker 1: teaching this comedy class told me get up one stage
Speaker 1: and do your favorite joke. And I was like, my
Speaker 1: favorite joke and she was like, yeah, do a joke.
Speaker 1: You want to be a comedian, tell me your favorite joke, right,
Speaker 1: And I got up on stage and I did this
Speaker 1: exactly brat I said, hold up, hold up. Hold A
Speaker 1: man goes to a restaurant. He orders a bowl of soup.
Speaker 1: The waiter brings him a bola stop. The man says,
Speaker 1: uh uh, take this tou back in the way that says,
Speaker 1: what is the soup too hot? The man take the
Speaker 1: stop bag. He's like, what is the soup too cold?
Speaker 1: And he's like, would you just taste the soup? And
Speaker 1: he's like, where's the spoon? Uh huh? Whatever? That joke is?
Speaker 1: That joke at the ENDIM coming to a mecca. I
Speaker 1: told that joke, I told I told that joke. I
Speaker 1: didn't tell a verbatim now, but I told that joke verbatim,
Speaker 1: and everybody watching was like and I was like, he
Speaker 1: told me to tell my favorite joke. And at the time,
Speaker 1: it's like I didn't really know jokes verbatim, you know,
Speaker 1: like I didn't really know people's and that was this.
Speaker 1: That was the joke that I remembered. That's here you
Speaker 1: are now, taste the suit, taste the soup. This has
Speaker 1: been wonderful. Is there anything you would like to tell
Speaker 1: people to look out for, to listen to to watch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they can watch the second season of Upload when it
Speaker 1: premiers UM in January twenty twenty, which is on Amazon. UM.
Speaker 1: I just watched the full second season. Oh oh it's good.
Speaker 1: I am happy. I think that if anybody liked the
Speaker 1: first season, then the second season is just gonna be
Speaker 1: like music. You know, it's just gonna it's just gonna
Speaker 1: double down on the things that you love. Um. They
Speaker 1: can of course listen to my podcast. It's called Honesty
Speaker 1: with z h O n E s t e A
Speaker 1: with z. It's available wherever you get podcasts. And if
Speaker 1: you guys want to check out my social media, it's
Speaker 1: Zane av Johnson on Everything and yeah, I do shows
Speaker 1: and stuff and say stand up and see really fucking
Speaker 1: good right, say no. This has been an absolute joy
Speaker 1: and I'm so excited for you to meet Daniel and
Speaker 1: thank you very much. Thank you, thank you, good bye,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. So it was episode one hundred
Speaker 1: and seventy. Head over to patreon dot com forward slash
Speaker 1: Breck Goldstein for the extra twenty minutes of chat, secrets
Speaker 1: and video with Zanab. Go to Apple Podcast, give us
Speaker 1: a five star rating and write about the film that
Speaker 1: means the most to you and why it's a very
Speaker 1: nice thing. To read, helps numbers, Marian loves it, etc.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. Thank you to Zaynab for doing
Speaker 1: the show. Thanks to Scruby's pipping the Distraction Pieces Network,
Speaker 1: Thanks the Buddy Piece for producing it. Thanks to ACAS
Speaker 1: for hosting it. Thanks to Adam Richardon for the graphics
Speaker 1: and least alladd them for the photography. Thank you all
Speaker 1: for listening. Come and join me next week where my guest.
Speaker 1: I will not tell you until you here next week's episode.
Speaker 1: You were going to love it, so that is all.
Speaker 1: I hope you're all well. That is it for now.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, have a lovely week, and please, now
Speaker 1: more than ever, be excellent to each other.