Speaker 1: Episode to forty three, breaking the cycle of poverty. Welcome
Speaker 1: to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money,
Speaker 1: embrace simplicity right and live with your life. Here your
Speaker 1: host Jen and Jill. MM. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast.
Speaker 1: My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today
Speaker 1: we're doing an episode that I almost changed at the
Speaker 1: last minute because on one hand feel like it's really
Speaker 1: necessary and on the other hand I feel like I
Speaker 1: don't want to be the one to do it. But
Speaker 1: here we are doing this, here we find ourselves doing
Speaker 1: an addressing a very complicated topic. So there are so
Speaker 1: many caveats we can make are about to make. Bear
Speaker 1: with us. This is one fifty minute episode on a
Speaker 1: really complicated topic, and so I want to acknowledge at
Speaker 1: the start here that poverty, issues of poverty, intersect with so,
Speaker 1: so much. To name a few. Poverty intersects with national history,
Speaker 1: family history, systemic racism, mental health concerns, substance use, addiction,
Speaker 1: family cycles, educational background, circumstances outside of our control, privilege
Speaker 1: or lack thereof, and that's not even an exhaustive list.
Speaker 1: So obviously, with this episode we cannot address all of
Speaker 1: those things. We know that the reason people find themselves
Speaker 1: in poverty is not one size fits all. There's not
Speaker 1: one reason we can point to, there's not once a
Speaker 1: motion we can point to, and for some it is
Speaker 1: more difficult to get out of than others. And Jenn
Speaker 1: and I recognize that we are not the best voice
Speaker 1: for all people, like there are some who find us helpful,
Speaker 1: some who don't, and thank goodness that there are plenty
Speaker 1: of people in the space seeking to help others with finances.
Speaker 1: So I also want to say that if you listen
Speaker 1: to this episode or other episodes and you don't find
Speaker 1: your voice represented, it doesn't feel helpful or useful to you,
Speaker 1: then we might not be your platform and hopefully we've
Speaker 1: at least introduced some voices that might be helpful. Otherwise,
Speaker 1: keep searching, like just because we might not be the
Speaker 1: best most useful doesn't mean that it's not out there,
Speaker 1: it doesn't exist. So so so there's just so many
Speaker 1: things that I want to say about this, this issue,
Speaker 1: but also recognize that I am still going to come
Speaker 1: from my own perspective as a middle class Caucasian married
Speaker 1: female without kids who grew up in the suburbs like
Speaker 1: I can't get away from that reality. For me, I'm
Speaker 1: learning and growing and hopefully my mental health background and
Speaker 1: the way that I have cared for others in the
Speaker 1: past can help to inform some of this. But again
Speaker 1: that this is who's talking to you. So if if
Speaker 1: that's not if this perspective isn't even going to be
Speaker 1: helpful then this, then take that into consideration as well.
Speaker 1: But again it intersects with so much and so we're
Speaker 1: we're addressing what's within our control. There's so much outside
Speaker 1: of our control, and that's not to diminish those pieces
Speaker 1: that list I just rattled off again that's not exhaustive.
Speaker 1: Is Very real and needs addressing on micro, Meso macro levels.
Speaker 1: But for where we're at today, for this episode, is
Speaker 1: what can we do, what's withinside of our control? If
Speaker 1: we find ourselves in this place, living at or below
Speaker 1: the poverty line, is there any tangible things that we
Speaker 1: can do to address that? That's where we're going to
Speaker 1: try and go with this episode. But again there's no
Speaker 1: there's no magic here. And then there's nothing exhaustive with
Speaker 1: this episode. Yeah, we're doing this episode for two reasons.
Speaker 1: The first is that we've gotten enough emails over the
Speaker 1: years requesting that we do more episodes for people living
Speaker 1: around or below the poverty line, and so our goal
Speaker 1: with the show isn't too help people live at or
Speaker 1: below the poverty line, it's to help people control their
Speaker 1: spending in whatever way that looks like for them. And
Speaker 1: there are things that contribute to poverty that are outside
Speaker 1: the scope of that that we are not experts in
Speaker 1: and may not be able to be experts in. And
Speaker 1: the second reason is because, when doing research to like
Speaker 1: send something to these people, it's hard for me to
Speaker 1: find something that I am comfortable sending. It's either people
Speaker 1: saying how stacked the deck is against people in poverty
Speaker 1: and just complaining about it, or it is privileged, usually wealthy,
Speaker 1: financial advisor Caucasian people saying how what's the solution to poverty,
Speaker 1: usually at a macro level. So there's not something like
Speaker 1: if I was living in minimum which, and and I
Speaker 1: look at this, if I'm a single mom with kids
Speaker 1: in and out of jobs because I can't afford childcare
Speaker 1: and and my kids need somebody to watch them, maybe
Speaker 1: I am supporting a family member as well because of
Speaker 1: this Um this cycle of of poverty the cycle of lifestyle.
Speaker 1: And if I if I'm in that situation and I'm
Speaker 1: looking for a podcast to be like, where do I start?
Speaker 1: How do I even yet to the place where I
Speaker 1: can start thinking about saving and spending based on my values?
Speaker 1: There is nothing. There is nothing there and we are
Speaker 1: not the best people to do that, but we could
Speaker 1: be the first people, at least on Apple podcasts. So
Speaker 1: that's where we are. M So, if that's you, if
Speaker 1: you're in that situation listening to this, we just want
Speaker 1: to cover things that will be of use to you.
Speaker 1: It is not an all encompassing this. We will not
Speaker 1: offer a solution to poverty or tips for cutting your
Speaker 1: grocery expenses so far that you can live at the
Speaker 1: poverty line. That is not what this episode is going
Speaker 1: to be. Well, I'm glad we're here and I'm glad
Speaker 1: you showed up, John, and didn't make a last minute
Speaker 1: change in this because, financially speaking, I was below the
Speaker 1: poverty line not that long ago. I know that many people.
Speaker 1: If you follow this podcast for a while, you you
Speaker 1: know that, and my goal was not to stay there
Speaker 1: and thankfully I am no longer there. But again, that's
Speaker 1: only financially speaking, I recognized that I had resources in
Speaker 1: other regards that would keep me from becoming without a home,
Speaker 1: without food, but I can commiserate to some level what
Speaker 1: it feels like to be so strapped for for cash,
Speaker 1: for financial resource, and what that can do to someone emotionally,
Speaker 1: mentally and beyond that. I have many friends and clients
Speaker 1: who live at or below the poverty line. So I'm
Speaker 1: I am glad to be doing this and I think
Speaker 1: just a heart felt, empathetic care and concern for those
Speaker 1: who find themselves in this place. So I do want
Speaker 1: those of you listening to to feel that reality, but
Speaker 1: also our our withness and our support to not stay
Speaker 1: in that place, if that's what you desire, if you
Speaker 1: desire to find yourself in a different place years from now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hopefully we can help to provide some of the tangible
Speaker 1: tools for that to be a reality, not neglecting the
Speaker 1: fact that there are a lot of other circumstances outside
Speaker 1: of our control, but let's focus on what's inside of
Speaker 1: our control for the sake of this time together. And
Speaker 1: before we get to those things, let's hear a word
Speaker 1: from our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by
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Speaker 1: beach balls. Every single one going to the beach maybe
Speaker 1: bring a volleyball or an inner tube or something, because
Speaker 1: beach balls are actually pretty impractical for the beach. We're
Speaker 1: giving our frugal friends members at our patreon bumper stickers
Speaker 1: this month, so maybe you go to frugal friends podcast
Speaker 1: dot com, slash patreon and get a bumper sticker and
Speaker 1: bring that to the beach. I don't know. Beach Balls.
Speaker 1: They're not the solution to everything, but they're the solution
Speaker 1: to more than you think. I have beach balls around
Speaker 1: my house. You do for the solution from the party.
Speaker 1: It is the Tory I give to kids because they
Speaker 1: can't break much with them. Amen. So there are some
Speaker 1: good episodes that you can queue up after this uh,
Speaker 1: if you are are interested in some of the topics
Speaker 1: that we talked about today. Thank you for bearing with
Speaker 1: us through the longest introduction that we've ever done in
Speaker 1: the history of the show. So we've got episode two
Speaker 1: twenty three, how to design and afford your Dream Life,
Speaker 1: and then we also have episode one, Thirty Nine, money
Speaker 1: mindset shifts. We all need to work on. So, and
Speaker 1: I think we just did a there might be a
Speaker 1: more recent version of that. Actually, I think we did
Speaker 1: that as a rerun. But yeah, these are some good
Speaker 1: ones to queue up. And so we're breaking this up
Speaker 1: into two parts. Obviously we're going through two articles. Um,
Speaker 1: the first one are things, I'm calling them things to
Speaker 1: lay down, and the second part is things to pick up,
Speaker 1: and so you might get might better understand that once
Speaker 1: we go through the articles. But the first article is
Speaker 1: six sacrifices you need to make to escape poverty. Among
Speaker 1: the many sacrifices you're already making, here are six more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do. I ultimately I do like the article. I
Speaker 1: think that they give some helpful tips, but I that
Speaker 1: word sacrifice makes you uncomfortable because if you're finding yourself
Speaker 1: in poverty, you know sacrifice, you know difficulty and you
Speaker 1: know suffering. So I prefer what you're describing and things
Speaker 1: to lay down, things to look at, things to consider. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so the first one on here is our mentality.
Speaker 1: When we find ourselves in a place of poverty, there
Speaker 1: can be, and I can speak to this from personal experience,
Speaker 1: a poor mentality almost taken on as an identity. I
Speaker 1: know I did this, so again I'm going to speak
Speaker 1: from my own personal how I approached this, and I
Speaker 1: think I've talked about this before on the show, almost
Speaker 1: wearing it as a badge of honor, like I'm poor
Speaker 1: and how low can I get? And I don't have
Speaker 1: all the resources you have, and yet look at what
Speaker 1: I'm able to accomplish and and there's some pride that
Speaker 1: can be taken in resourcefulness. But I think sometimes that
Speaker 1: mentality can go so far that, when it becomes so
Speaker 1: a part of our identity, it can keep us from
Speaker 1: experiencing a different reality in ways that we might not
Speaker 1: even be aware of. The author gives this example of how,
Speaker 1: growing up, one of her dad's favorite statements was the
Speaker 1: rich or never happy. They have so much money but
Speaker 1: they're not happy. I'm happier than the rich because I'm poor,
Speaker 1: and we can kind of see how that can blend
Speaker 1: into a lot of other areas and I can so
Speaker 1: resonate with this like we can take on these different
Speaker 1: statements to support where we find ourselves in, and that's
Speaker 1: a coping mechanism. For sure. Some of it can be
Speaker 1: helpful to sustain in the lifestyle that we find ourselves in,
Speaker 1: but I think we also have to look at in
Speaker 1: what ways are some of those statements, those identity pieces,
Speaker 1: those mantras, keeping us, holding us back from what we
Speaker 1: might be able to see differently for our future? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the idea like. So I highly recommend listening to
Speaker 1: our episode on on mindset, because it's not a like
Speaker 1: a woo woo thing. It's not manifesting whatever that it is.
Speaker 1: It's extremely really relevant to to avoiding these self fulfilling
Speaker 1: prophecies that we create for ourselves, because I know when
Speaker 1: I was making thirty five grand a year, I would
Speaker 1: I'm I I told myself, like and and Jill, I
Speaker 1: know you did the same thing. I am in a
Speaker 1: profession that doesn't pay well. This is all I'm capable of.
Speaker 1: If I were to change, it would be so big
Speaker 1: I could never like I don't know where to start.
Speaker 1: I don't know how. There's just no comprehension of changing
Speaker 1: the way I was living. So I and I know
Speaker 1: so many people, turned to frugality because they're in that place.
Speaker 1: They're like, I can't change my income bracket, so I
Speaker 1: need to just cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, but there's
Speaker 1: only so much that can be cut. Eventually you have
Speaker 1: to to change your mindset to say like, I don't
Speaker 1: have to make big changes, I can just make small changes,
Speaker 1: and those, the magnitude of your changes, can change based
Speaker 1: on your season. Two. So just because somebody made a
Speaker 1: change and we're able to make a change in their season,
Speaker 1: you may be in a different season, you may not
Speaker 1: be able to make that change, and you not being
Speaker 1: able to make that change does not reflect on your capabilities,
Speaker 1: it is a reflection of your season. So second on
Speaker 1: this first one is to change your environment, and I
Speaker 1: do I know that that has a huge impact on mindset.
Speaker 1: And they say, for instance, if your dream business has
Speaker 1: no hope of flourishing, and your they say home village.
Speaker 1: I would say, I don't know, in your environment, if
Speaker 1: the people you're surrounding yourself with, because we say cycle
Speaker 1: of poverty, and it really is a cycle, because it
Speaker 1: is really compounded by the people you have around you.
Speaker 1: It's really hard to surround yourself with new people and
Speaker 1: different people. It's so comfortable to stay in the family cycles,
Speaker 1: especially if you're supporting a parent or other family member.
Speaker 1: It's much more comfortable and easy to stay in those
Speaker 1: circles and they will perpetuate the mindset. But we have
Speaker 1: to make small changes to change the environment, to change
Speaker 1: the people, and I think it starts with the people. Honestly,
Speaker 1: like looking for people who are doing more and living
Speaker 1: more of a lifestyle that you'd like to live and
Speaker 1: you are good enough to hang out with those people.
Speaker 1: You are good enough. Sometimes it can can feel like,
Speaker 1: and I've experienced this impost syndrome in business, because I
Speaker 1: never knew anybody, any business owners. I never knew anybody
Speaker 1: started business growing up. I'm literally the first person I
Speaker 1: met for my childhood like with the business as I
Speaker 1: know it. So like I didn't know how it goes,
Speaker 1: and so I thought that other people that had well
Speaker 1: established businesses they were too good for me, like I couldn't,
Speaker 1: I wasn't on their level, I couldn't, you know, commune
Speaker 1: with them. Totally false, absolutely false. Uh. That's a mindset
Speaker 1: I had to break and once I was able to
Speaker 1: like spend time with those people. They mentor me so
Speaker 1: well and have helped me so much. So, yeah, those
Speaker 1: very much not easy, very uncomfortable, extremely worth it. The
Speaker 1: second one is to sacrifice, sacrifice your free time. The
Speaker 1: second part of each sentence is much better than the first.
Speaker 1: So learn to manage your time like a pro Um.
Speaker 1: And they say time is money. This phrase is more
Speaker 1: than just a snappy aphorism, it's the truth. I just
Speaker 1: like the word aphorism. But yeah, so a lot of
Speaker 1: the times we will spend and people do this across
Speaker 1: the game it, no matter how much money you have,
Speaker 1: spending time on things that kind of are like busy
Speaker 1: work for adults, and really looking at our commitments, where
Speaker 1: we want to be, what's best for our children and
Speaker 1: our futures, and really focusing on doing those things and
Speaker 1: saying no to as much out of possible, as much
Speaker 1: other stuff as possible, like saying no first and then
Speaker 1: only saying yes to the things that are like good
Speaker 1: for you, and that includes self care, because we all
Speaker 1: get twenty four hours a day. You get no more,
Speaker 1: and eight of those need to be sleeping hours. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I really, I really appreciate this one. The next one,
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna read off the sacrifice portions of
Speaker 1: each one of these. We're just going to move on
Speaker 1: to what they say. The third one is talking about
Speaker 1: working hard and working smart. I think someone who has
Speaker 1: their sights on no longer living out or below the
Speaker 1: poverty line. You've got the grit, you you know how
Speaker 1: to work hard. It's a matter of learning how to
Speaker 1: pair it with what's going to be most effective and
Speaker 1: the most efficient use of my time, skill set and energy,
Speaker 1: and I want to address this at this point. So
Speaker 1: many things to say and I know I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: be able to fit it all in, but if you
Speaker 1: if we are living out or below the poverty line,
Speaker 1: chances are we are in survival mode, meaning that hyper vigilance,
Speaker 1: that fight, fight freeze response is consistently at the ready
Speaker 1: trying to make decisions for survival in the moment, whether
Speaker 1: or not we're fully aware of it. But a lot
Speaker 1: of times decisions that are made are short term. oftentimes
Speaker 1: they may not be the long term because we don't
Speaker 1: have what we need to consider the long term if
Speaker 1: we're living at or below the poverty line. And so
Speaker 1: this is a really important piece to address and to
Speaker 1: consider here and it is related to mindset, but I
Speaker 1: think it's also related to the care and the community
Speaker 1: that we need to have around us, and particularly if
Speaker 1: we're a person who has experienced trauma, it's going to
Speaker 1: make it more difficult for us to even be able
Speaker 1: to implement some of these things. And so I think
Speaker 1: addressing some of those pieces simultaneously or before we're able
Speaker 1: to even implement on some of these things of what's
Speaker 1: the best decision to make with my career or job path,
Speaker 1: or how do I make the most of my time,
Speaker 1: energy and attention? If we're experiencing a lot of roadblocks there,
Speaker 1: it's very possible that there are trauma experiences that are
Speaker 1: interrupting this, that there are survival coping mechanisms that are
Speaker 1: interrupting this, and so this might be a reason that
Speaker 1: it has made it difficult to future think, to consider
Speaker 1: what's going to be the most efficient use of my time.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we just okay, what, what? What's the job that's
Speaker 1: gonna make me money, that's gonna buy me dinner tonight?
Speaker 1: What's the job that's gonna make me money that's gonna
Speaker 1: pay my rent this month? That makes sense. It's that
Speaker 1: that is that's okay, but there's gonna be some deeper
Speaker 1: things that are going to need to be a dre us.
Speaker 1: I just want to weave that in here, because there
Speaker 1: are some survival instincts that are probably at play here.
Speaker 1: So addressing those, finding someone trusted that you can talk to,
Speaker 1: getting help from a mental health professional could help if
Speaker 1: those are some of the barriers that you're experiencing, but
Speaker 1: as you're able to kind of knock each one of
Speaker 1: those down one at a time, to consider what's the
Speaker 1: best use of my time in a way that's not
Speaker 1: just short term thinking but also long term thinking, and
Speaker 1: that could be what excites me most when I'm doing
Speaker 1: the jobs that I'm doing, what feels most fulfilling, rather
Speaker 1: than just kind of approaching work and making money like
Speaker 1: one of those Arcade Games. What's the we talked about this,
Speaker 1: the whack, whack the moll, whack them all. Sometimes when
Speaker 1: we're in a cycle of poverty, that can be how
Speaker 1: we approach money making. And so the challenge here is, okay,
Speaker 1: how could I approach it differently? That's not just okay.
Speaker 1: How can I just get quick money here there? The
Speaker 1: other way to to pay my bills? That's good, but
Speaker 1: to get out of that cycle. What's going to be
Speaker 1: the best, most efficient use, and sometimes we're gonna need
Speaker 1: a community around us to help us think in that way.
Speaker 1: But investing in ourselves and investing in the things that
Speaker 1: we actually really enjoy to be able to grow something
Speaker 1: larger than just paycheck to paycheck. Yeah, I don't really
Speaker 1: understand what the article authors trying to say here. abody
Speaker 1: understand what you're saying, like giving yourself space to really
Speaker 1: reflect on why you have the money mindset you do,
Speaker 1: why you are earning money in the way that you are,
Speaker 1: and brainstorming alternatives and getting getting creative, which is what
Speaker 1: we say with frugality. Frugality is not a race to
Speaker 1: the bottom, it's not a race to see how little
Speaker 1: can I spend. It's giving yourself space to to get
Speaker 1: creative and I think is working smart is giving yourself
Speaker 1: that space to do that work. So I very much
Speaker 1: more like what you said than what this article is saying.
Speaker 1: So the next one is to spend less, save and invest,
Speaker 1: and so this is kind of like a like a
Speaker 1: next step. I think you need to you need to
Speaker 1: have these foundational pieces of mindset and working learning how
Speaker 1: to kind of work through trauma, and not even just trauma,
Speaker 1: but just the way you're used to doing things, the
Speaker 1: way your family is used to doing things, and finding
Speaker 1: new ways and building up yourself confidence in your barriers
Speaker 1: to be able to push back against the pushback you're
Speaker 1: going to get for changing, because people around you may
Speaker 1: not like that you're looking to change because they're not
Speaker 1: looking to change. That's another reason, like changing your environment,
Speaker 1: changing your friends, is so important to to be surrounded
Speaker 1: by people that are looking to improve themselves. You have
Speaker 1: to build up that muscle that can take criticism and
Speaker 1: push back. And then once you're starting to build up
Speaker 1: these skills, then we start thinking about how can we
Speaker 1: spend less, how can we save, and then eventually, how
Speaker 1: can we invest? But that's that's a process and it's
Speaker 1: definitely we have over two hundred other episodes that can
Speaker 1: help you with those. That's not necessarily what this episode
Speaker 1: is about, but it is a tri trifecta of the
Speaker 1: spending less, the saving and investing. But you can take
Speaker 1: them in small steps and you don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about them right now. It's not an issue, in my observation,
Speaker 1: for people who find themselves in this situation of like
Speaker 1: not being scrappy or sourceful. It's the how to get
Speaker 1: over that Hump and actually have some reserve money to
Speaker 1: be able to not just live, not even just paycheck
Speaker 1: to paycheck, but pay rent and not be concerned about
Speaker 1: where the next meal is coming from. And and so
Speaker 1: then the next one is talking about focusing on victories again,
Speaker 1: talking about in some ways they're they're leaning towards don't
Speaker 1: pay attention to your emotions, and I would push back
Speaker 1: on that and I appreciate the second portion of this,
Speaker 1: that the focusing on the victories. I think that that
Speaker 1: is going to be important, celebrating along the way, looking
Speaker 1: at what you're doing well, but I think that a
Speaker 1: big portion of this is going to be looking at
Speaker 1: our mentality, our emotions, what's happening inside of us. Are
Speaker 1: Experiences and what needs to shift in order to find
Speaker 1: ourselves in a different place, in a different reality with
Speaker 1: our money. I think we do have to take some
Speaker 1: deep dives emotionally relationally to be able to move forward,
Speaker 1: to keep to interrupt the cycle that has been we've
Speaker 1: got to understand ourselves more. We've got to be curious
Speaker 1: with ourselves more, investing in ourselves more celebrating our getting
Speaker 1: giving so much grace and freedom because of the sacrifices
Speaker 1: that are going to need, that have been made and
Speaker 1: continued to be made here, Um, and and making sure
Speaker 1: that we're able to celebrate along the way, no matter
Speaker 1: how small. Yeah, one of the aspects of a growth
Speaker 1: mindset is to see challenges as opportunities for growth, and
Speaker 1: so living around the poverty line, not having a lot
Speaker 1: of money, you're going to see a lot of challenges.
Speaker 1: So you're going to see a lot of opportunities for growth,
Speaker 1: way more, uh than a lot of other people. And
Speaker 1: it's okay to feel like it sucks, like it's okay
Speaker 1: to be mad, but also, in the midst of the
Speaker 1: anger and the sadness, also look for what you can
Speaker 1: learn from it. It's not saying like don't acknowledge your emotions,
Speaker 1: feel them and also look for how you can grow.
Speaker 1: Just add it on top. So the last one here
Speaker 1: is don't let certificates determine your worth. So the writer
Speaker 1: who now at the very end I can see, is
Speaker 1: from Kenya, and that's why they're using the word village. Um. Said, Um,
Speaker 1: they had a friend that graduated from college got their
Speaker 1: degree to be an actuary, set out tons of resumes
Speaker 1: and received no job offers, and so she decided enough
Speaker 1: was enough. She's going to take matter in your own hands.
Speaker 1: And she said today she owns one of the biggest
Speaker 1: furniture shops in Nairobi. And so the author, and this
Speaker 1: is this reminds me of our interview with led APP
Speaker 1: who received tons, had had like a lot of experience
Speaker 1: and got tons of Um rejections when she was applying
Speaker 1: for for a job Um and she was a single mom,
Speaker 1: she was back living with her parents. There's like she
Speaker 1: was in this kind of place where this ideal listener,
Speaker 1: or a listener who I'm thinking of when when we're
Speaker 1: giving this when we're reading these articles, and and she
Speaker 1: said enough was enough, and so she started her own business.
Speaker 1: She all of her she used all of her experience
Speaker 1: and just started posting things online to see what resonated
Speaker 1: with people, and then, when she found what resonated with people,
Speaker 1: she expounded on that in an e book and started
Speaker 1: selling it. And that's and so she took matters in
Speaker 1: newrons and now she has a seven figure business teaching
Speaker 1: people how to do what she has her experience in,
Speaker 1: and so I think we get tied up in having
Speaker 1: to conform to the traditional nine to five and the
Speaker 1: sational nine five is great if you can find a
Speaker 1: job that you love, but you don't have to conform.
Speaker 1: If the cards are stacked against you, you can go
Speaker 1: a different way. And I'll also caveats that. Ellie didn't
Speaker 1: spend a lot of money to start her business. She
Speaker 1: didn't sink ten twenty grand into something. She didn't sign
Speaker 1: on with an MLM like she did. That she was
Speaker 1: scrappy and if you're willing to be scrappy, you can
Speaker 1: do something different. You don't have to let what you
Speaker 1: thought you were supposed to do dictate what you will do,
Speaker 1: and that doesn't mean knowing everything or being an expert
Speaker 1: on everything. Right. I think the people who I have
Speaker 1: seen be the most scrappy is knowing how to use
Speaker 1: the resources around you, the tangible resources, the people resources,
Speaker 1: and talk to people who are maybe living a lifestyle
Speaker 1: that you want to be living, see if there's anything
Speaker 1: that you can learn from them, any offerings they have
Speaker 1: for you, and just keep investing in yourself in that way,
Speaker 1: from conversations with others in your community to listening to
Speaker 1: podcast to reading books, there are many ways to invest
Speaker 1: in ourselves that doesn't cost money. Yeah, so those were
Speaker 1: the things to lay down and now we're going to
Speaker 1: transition to some things to pick up on your already
Speaker 1: heavy plate. So, no, this is not a list of
Speaker 1: things to add to your plate. This is a list
Speaker 1: of things to essentially just pick up in your lifestyle,
Speaker 1: in your mindset. Yeah, you'll get it when we go
Speaker 1: over the article. It's seven tips for breaking the cycle
Speaker 1: of poverty. Yeah, I love it. Let's get into it.
Speaker 1: So the first one is to educate yourself, and there
Speaker 1: has been a big movement online for online education, people
Speaker 1: selling courses on literally everything, and I can tell you
Speaker 1: that everything that you can buy for hundreds of dollars
Speaker 1: online you can find in a book from the Library
Speaker 1: for Free. I absolutely guarantee you, because I know, at
Speaker 1: least in the finance at least in the finance world,
Speaker 1: because I know I know who they are, I know
Speaker 1: what they're saying, I know you know you're you're actually
Speaker 1: paying for like group coaching things with them and like
Speaker 1: q and aise and stuff, which is why, like, we
Speaker 1: don't sell the course. We we just offer like either
Speaker 1: on our Patreon, you get a bonus episode and pine
Speaker 1: the scenes, or in our challenge membership, you get a
Speaker 1: challenge and a monthly money party with us and accountability
Speaker 1: groups like that's that's what we offer, because you can
Speaker 1: get all the information in books for free and you
Speaker 1: don't have to read them. You can get them in
Speaker 1: audio books. Leaders and successful people are voracious readers, they
Speaker 1: really are, and so educating your yourself on, they say,
Speaker 1: basic financial literacy, how credit works, your options when it
Speaker 1: comes to financial products and institutions and your rights when
Speaker 1: it comes to banking and financial products. I think if
Speaker 1: I had to recommend a book to start with, Um,
Speaker 1: I will teach you to be rich by Ramit Setti
Speaker 1: is my number one pick for a book to like
Speaker 1: start with, and that is definitely available for free. It's
Speaker 1: on audible, it's not. It's for free at the library.
Speaker 1: It's around, so it's a very popular book. Number two.
Speaker 1: You knew it was coming. Change your mindset towards money,
Speaker 1: and I will affirm this. I know that it sounds
Speaker 1: so hard to actually grasp, but I do love that
Speaker 1: they give some actual questions to be pondering, possibly even
Speaker 1: journaling about, and they reference a quote from Bulascunbi, from
Speaker 1: clever girl finance, who talks about improving your personal finances
Speaker 1: and achieving financial wellness is skill and behavior and mindset,
Speaker 1: and I could not agree more from my own personal
Speaker 1: experience and from what I witness and observe and other people.
Speaker 1: For many low income earners and those who find themselves
Speaker 1: in a cycle of poverty, it's the money habits of parents,
Speaker 1: lessons that are deeply ingrained and strongly influence attitudes towards money,
Speaker 1: and so this is another really fantastic place to start
Speaker 1: is consider asking yourself these questions. How were you raised
Speaker 1: with money? What money habits do you have you inherited
Speaker 1: from those who raised you? How did they handle money?
Speaker 1: What triggers you to spend money? Is it a raise?
Speaker 1: Is it a sale? What are your current money beliefs?
Speaker 1: What do you believe about money? Where do your attitudes
Speaker 1: towards it? How much do you own outright? How much
Speaker 1: money do you owe? What small steps can you take
Speaker 1: now start changing these beliefs for the better? We are
Speaker 1: not going to see significant changes in our circumstances unless
Speaker 1: we take a look at some of these deeply rooted
Speaker 1: things again. Behaviors are what come last. Thoughts and emotions, attitudes, beliefs,
Speaker 1: that's what comes first. The behaviors are what flows out
Speaker 1: of what happens in our mind, and so it is
Speaker 1: going to take some of that work, some of that pondering,
Speaker 1: before we see changes in our circumstances. Yeah, I like
Speaker 1: this quote from Sharia Humphrey. You're not poor, she says,
Speaker 1: you're just in a lower wealth status. That is a
Speaker 1: fun way to view it. You're just in a lower
Speaker 1: wealth status. And the article expounds like when you think
Speaker 1: about your financial situation is temporary, you start to understand
Speaker 1: it's something you can change. But when all you see
Speaker 1: around you is people in your same financial situation, it
Speaker 1: can seem like the poor get poorer and the rich
Speaker 1: get richer. And that's not a lie. They do. But
Speaker 1: when you start to better understand how the rich get richer,
Speaker 1: then you can um, increase your wealth status just like
Speaker 1: they do. They capitalize on the fact that lower income
Speaker 1: people do not believe that they can change and they
Speaker 1: capitalize that fact and they market and they just get
Speaker 1: lower income people to pay to buy more stuff to
Speaker 1: make them richer. Um. But when you start to understand
Speaker 1: the system and identify the tactics that you're they're using.
Speaker 1: Then you can start to reject them and not be
Speaker 1: manipulated by them and increase your wealth status. And it
Speaker 1: is harder for some people than for other people. Like
Speaker 1: I'm not going to deny that I think that it
Speaker 1: is harder for some people to get out of financial
Speaker 1: difficulty than it was for me. I think it's easier
Speaker 1: for some people to get out of financial difficulty than
Speaker 1: it was for me. Right we're all somewhere on that spectrum.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, if we're speaking
Speaker 1: to individuals, that mindset is only going to help us
Speaker 1: so far. Understanding and acknowledging difficulty it's useful, but if
Speaker 1: we're actually going to see differences, it's not gonna be
Speaker 1: ultimately helpful for us to focus on how difficult it is.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be more in our favor to look at
Speaker 1: what is within my control and what can I do
Speaker 1: about that. The third is to leverage community resources and
Speaker 1: I would say, federal resources as well, and this is
Speaker 1: going to be the actual things that Um can help
Speaker 1: you change your socioeconomic status. So looking for grants for
Speaker 1: community college or free options online there are so many
Speaker 1: companies now that are offering education online free or with scholarships,
Speaker 1: that are teaching really high level skills that have really
Speaker 1: great income potential that you could get for a couple
Speaker 1: of thousand dollars or possibly free. Those resources are out
Speaker 1: there and looking for them, like I know Google has
Speaker 1: a whole suite of education that teaches their most needed positions.
Speaker 1: Um salesforce is a crm. Like, if you have access
Speaker 1: to a computer, you can figure out how to manage Um,
Speaker 1: this customer relationship management software for companies, and you can
Speaker 1: make six figures a year and all of that education
Speaker 1: is free. SALESFORCE OFFERS UM those education tracks for free.
Speaker 1: So there are resources online that you can use. Hold Up,
Speaker 1: when we originally recorded this episode, we could not find
Speaker 1: a resource that compiled all of the federal, state, local
Speaker 1: and various nonprofit opportunities that are available. But in the
Speaker 1: weeks since recording we have actually found something from the
Speaker 1: National Council for financial opportunities and it's called the opportunity finder.
Speaker 1: The Opportunity Finder allows you to put in some very
Speaker 1: simple facts about your situation and it can help you
Speaker 1: find resources for education, healthcare, jobs, income, whatever is available
Speaker 1: to you and your situation and location. It can help
Speaker 1: you find it. So again, this is called the opportunity
Speaker 1: finder and you'll be able to find it very soon
Speaker 1: at opportunity knocks dot net. And this is actually in
Speaker 1: conjunction with a new PBS program from the National Council
Speaker 1: for financial opportunities called Opportunity knocks, where financial counselors and
Speaker 1: coaches help families through financial difficulties using the opportunity finders.
Speaker 1: So again, head to opportunity knocks dot net to find
Speaker 1: the opportunity finder and check out opportunity knocks on pbs
Speaker 1: when it premiers very soon. And then it's it's figuring
Speaker 1: out Um, like grants and waivers and stuff, Um for childcare, Um,
Speaker 1: so that you actually have the time to take these classes. Um, leveraging,
Speaker 1: so maybe you watch somebody else's kids with yours one
Speaker 1: day so they watch your kids another day so that
Speaker 1: you have time to do this stuff. So it's getting
Speaker 1: creative and leveraging not just the community, like nonprofit organizations
Speaker 1: and stuff, and federal resources, but getting creative with how
Speaker 1: you leverage community resources and the resources around you so
Speaker 1: that you can actually take action on this stuff, because
Speaker 1: that's the hardest part. But there's there are just nonprofits,
Speaker 1: there are public libraries and schools, um their churches and
Speaker 1: community centers. All all of them offer something different and
Speaker 1: you can try. I know the Y M C a
Speaker 1: kind of offers like free gym memberships to certain people
Speaker 1: and they have childcare and I once when I had
Speaker 1: a y membership, I was like, I wonder if I
Speaker 1: could just put my kid in childcare and then do
Speaker 1: some work, like in the locker room, because you just
Speaker 1: have to be on site. So it's like getting creative
Speaker 1: with stuff like getting scrappy Um and utilizing the resources.
Speaker 1: You have to take action as a stepping stone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not necessarily as a place that we set up tent,
Speaker 1: but a stepping stone. Number four on here avoid predatory
Speaker 1: payday lending and, of course, getting out of the cycle.
Speaker 1: That's going to take some some work and some effort
Speaker 1: for sure, but pay day lending charges so much interest
Speaker 1: where you could be paying that loan for years to come.
Speaker 1: They reference to study where about twelve million Americans use
Speaker 1: payday loans every year and spend an average of five
Speaker 1: twenty dollars in fees to borrow just three hundred seventy
Speaker 1: five dollars. As you can see, that math doesn't add up.
Speaker 1: Of course, the reasons for utilizing payday loans at cash
Speaker 1: advances is an emergency need for that money, often times,
Speaker 1: maybe having poor credit or no credit and not having
Speaker 1: accessibility to lower interest loans, lack of awareness about other options.
Speaker 1: So there's very relevant and understandable reasons for utitilizing payday loans.
Speaker 1: But if you can avoid them, find ways to avoid them,
Speaker 1: you are going to find yourself of breaking that cycle
Speaker 1: of poverty because payday loans, the high interest rates on them,
Speaker 1: the fees on them, those are the types of scenarios
Speaker 1: that are going to keep someone trapped in that cycle.
Speaker 1: Borrowing against these high interest loans and never having the
Speaker 1: ability to pay them back is what keeps people down
Speaker 1: and it is predatory and it is super angering the best,
Speaker 1: the lowest hanging fruit here, and getting out of this
Speaker 1: cycle is going to be focusing on building credit so
Speaker 1: that you have access to lower interest loans and then
Speaker 1: eventually finding yourself in a place where you don't have
Speaker 1: loans at all, of course, step by step by step,
Speaker 1: but simple ways of building credit, even connecting, you know,
Speaker 1: paying a cell phone bill to your credit score. Yeah,
Speaker 1: finding ways to build your credit is going to be
Speaker 1: helpful and not needing to have access to those payday loans. Yes,
Speaker 1: so you can either. Um, there are several ways to
Speaker 1: do this. Um, if you have a landlord that is
Speaker 1: kind of like an individual, mom and pop landlord, you
Speaker 1: can maybe ask them to use STESSA. Um. STESSA is
Speaker 1: one option to accept your rent payment and that rent
Speaker 1: payment will be reported back to your credit score and, Um,
Speaker 1: to your credit report, and that will build your credit.
Speaker 1: Another way is to get a secured credit card, and
Speaker 1: this is a credit card that's kind of like a
Speaker 1: like a gift card almost. You load money onto it
Speaker 1: and you can all your credit limit is the money
Speaker 1: that you have given to the bank, and so that
Speaker 1: and you know, it would be the same as a
Speaker 1: debit card, but this builds your credit. So those are
Speaker 1: the two easiest ways to start building better credit, Um,
Speaker 1: so that you can get so even if you're not
Speaker 1: using paid a lending if you need to build your credit,
Speaker 1: because eventually you will need it to get better. It's
Speaker 1: on a car mortgage. Those are the two best ways
Speaker 1: to start. Next is to ask someone you trust. So
Speaker 1: talking with money talking about money with people again finding
Speaker 1: I think the best way, the fastest way, to act
Speaker 1: on the things that we're saying is to build your
Speaker 1: network of people who are already living the life that
Speaker 1: you want to live and like that can be Um.
Speaker 1: You can start with following people on instagram that are
Speaker 1: living the life you want to live. And I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about people sitting in front of Porsches or big
Speaker 1: mansions or whatever. Those people are fake, those cars are rented.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about people who are investing, who are saving,
Speaker 1: who are paying off debt, people that are being financially responsible,
Speaker 1: that have money to be financially responsible. So that you
Speaker 1: can start there. But you need people in your life
Speaker 1: that you can talk about money too. So whether it
Speaker 1: is a manager at your job or, Um, a manager
Speaker 1: somewhere else, meetup dot com has like networking, you know,
Speaker 1: meetups on all kinds of different topics that are you
Speaker 1: know that are free to attend Um, heading to those
Speaker 1: and just kind of like creating relationships with people there,
Speaker 1: just getting outside of your regular network. So you can
Speaker 1: find people to talk about money with. And this this
Speaker 1: ums to be really easy in the in the blog
Speaker 1: of sphere, when when financial blogs were really easy and
Speaker 1: you could like talk to people on the blog. But, um,
Speaker 1: they give some really good names here of people you
Speaker 1: can read. They won't necessarily right back, but Um, so
Speaker 1: bola from clever girl finance, she has she has three books,
Speaker 1: soon to be four, um, that are all fantastic. It's
Speaker 1: the clever girl finance series. Um Tiffany, the budget nista,
Speaker 1: also has a fantastic book. Um Lacy, the military money expert, sharia,
Speaker 1: Humphrey Robert from the college investor. He's more when you're
Speaker 1: in the investing side. But I know all of these
Speaker 1: people that they are all fantastic. But yeah, find people
Speaker 1: that you can trust and and talk to them about money. Yes,
Speaker 1: I can't highlight that one enough. And then number six.
Speaker 1: They talk about focusing on your credit. So, no, we
Speaker 1: just talked about this. Jen gave some excellent resources. Will
Speaker 1: have them in our show notes, of ways that you
Speaker 1: can begin to build credit if you've got low credit
Speaker 1: or no credit, even on things that you're already doing.
Speaker 1: There are ways to connect your your bills and your
Speaker 1: rent and and even get a credit card in in
Speaker 1: a way that might be feasible for you if you've
Speaker 1: got low credit. No credit, but that's going to be
Speaker 1: a massive way that you're going to be able to
Speaker 1: see a shift in your financial circumstances. And then the
Speaker 1: last one is to don't be afraid to walk a way,
Speaker 1: and this is a recom I mean this is for everyone.
Speaker 1: If you have a bad feeling about a financial product, institution, Um,
Speaker 1: person at the bank, financial advisor, if something doesn't sound right,
Speaker 1: it's not you, it's them. They profit from your inexperience
Speaker 1: with the financial sector. And if you feel weird, it's
Speaker 1: not you, it's them. So don't be afraid to walk away.
Speaker 1: You need to be able to ask questions. They need
Speaker 1: to be able to answer it in a way you
Speaker 1: understand and not make you feel dumb. It's their job.
Speaker 1: If they don't do that, walk away. There is just
Speaker 1: so much to be said for how gate kept financial
Speaker 1: services are, and that's not an illusion, that's a fact, um,
Speaker 1: but it's not everybody and it's not everywhere. So you
Speaker 1: don't have to say like, Oh, everywhere is they're gonna
Speaker 1: make me feel stupid everywhere, so I'll just, you know,
Speaker 1: be here. No, it's not everyone, but it is in existence.
Speaker 1: So don't be afraid to walk away. Choose another bank, UM,
Speaker 1: choose another financial advisor, go get your loan from somewhere else.
Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to do that. Yes, mm HMM. You
Speaker 1: know what else? We don't need to be afraid to do?
Speaker 1: That we will always explain. Well, the week. That's right,
Speaker 1: it's time for the best minute of your entire week.
Speaker 1: Maybe a baby was born and his name is William.
Speaker 1: Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died
Speaker 1: and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 1: Tough Bill, Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill
Speaker 1: of the week. Hi, den and Jill, my name is Sarah.
Speaker 1: I'm a longtime listener, first time caller, Um, and this
Speaker 1: week my wife and I bought our first house. Um.
Speaker 1: We have lived in nine different places in the last
Speaker 1: eight years, including a lot of situations like our last one,
Speaker 1: where it was a house that we were renting and
Speaker 1: we moved in and after five months of living there,
Speaker 1: the owner decided to sell the house and not rent anymore,
Speaker 1: so we had to leave at the last minute. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's been a lot of things like that and
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine the amount of money that we
Speaker 1: have spent on changing apartments and all the different fees
Speaker 1: and pet rent and crazy stuff, and I'm so happy
Speaker 1: now to have a mortgage that's going to be consistent
Speaker 1: and we will be paying extra onto that because we
Speaker 1: will be way cheaper than the rent that we've been
Speaker 1: paying in Atlanta, a very high cost of living area.
Speaker 1: So I'm so excited to have a mortgage. Probably the
Speaker 1: obvious person in the world to be getting that bill
Speaker 1: every month. Thanks. Oh my Gosh, Sarah, what a dream.
Speaker 1: I yeah, you you kind of forget like the stress.
Speaker 1: It's not just like you want to build equity in
Speaker 1: a house, but it's the stress of you could get
Speaker 1: kicked out in any time, which is what happened to
Speaker 1: us too. So I get it Um and the pet
Speaker 1: rent and the moving fees and the stress. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that that is over for you. Congratulations, Sarah,
Speaker 1: about this mortgage and where you found yourself and not
Speaker 1: needing to have the fear of getting kicked out and
Speaker 1: being able to have all the pets that you want
Speaker 1: and as many pets as you want. Just don't invite
Speaker 1: Jill and I over. It might be allergic. If you
Speaker 1: all listening, I want to submit your bill, whether it's
Speaker 1: about a mortgage bill that you're so thrilled to be
Speaker 1: paying or a bill that you no longer have to pay,
Speaker 1: or something related to, you know, your pets or the
Speaker 1: buffalo bills. You know the drill. Visit Frugal friends, DOT podcast,
Speaker 1: dot com slash bill. Leave US her bill and now
Speaker 1: it's time for round around. So today's lightning round question
Speaker 1: I also want to acknowledge that drill and bill rhyme,
Speaker 1: and you do that all the time and I just
Speaker 1: realized it. Dot Com slash bill, you know the drill. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're so good. Today's lightning round question. What was a
Speaker 1: significant change you made to change your financial status this
Speaker 1: this was a really good question. When I was reading
Speaker 1: the outline, it did cause me a lot of reflection,
Speaker 1: like what was the biggest pivot? And people might not
Speaker 1: love this answer, but it's the reality. It really was mindset.
Speaker 1: I think that's why I've wanted to harp on this
Speaker 1: so much throughout this podcast episode and, honestly, just in
Speaker 1: our podcast in general. We talk about mindset a lot
Speaker 1: because it it is very pivotal. It's where are changes
Speaker 1: begin is in our mind that's where we can start
Speaker 1: to see new growth, new realities, new circumstances. I know
Speaker 1: I've talked about this before, I'll share it again now.
Speaker 1: There was a year not that long ago where Eric
Speaker 1: and I, my husband, combined collectively made eighteen thousand dollars
Speaker 1: a year. I don't share that. I don't know to
Speaker 1: raise any kind of like look at me flag, but
Speaker 1: to be able to say yes, like I can understand
Speaker 1: that financial aspect of being really strapped and wanting a
Speaker 1: different reality for myself. And I think the biggest shift
Speaker 1: was having the freedom to say I don't have to
Speaker 1: be here anymore, shifting from Oh, this is I'm I'm poor,
Speaker 1: I'm constantly poor and looking for ways for other people
Speaker 1: to care for me. But what can I do to
Speaker 1: care for myself that might make a change? What? Where
Speaker 1: is their freedom and permission to say I could do
Speaker 1: something different? I don't have to find myself in a
Speaker 1: job that I feel takes advantage of me and doesn't
Speaker 1: pay me much but requires and demands so much of
Speaker 1: my energy, attention, skill set resources. And I think when
Speaker 1: I made that realization and actually embraced it is when
Speaker 1: I started to see differences. It wasn't overnight, though. Some
Speaker 1: of it included investing in myself, expanding education and influence
Speaker 1: and knowledge and skill set, giving myself permission to do
Speaker 1: different things, set my hands to even things that I enjoy,
Speaker 1: that I don't have to sacrifice myself over and over
Speaker 1: and over and over again for something that never gives
Speaker 1: back to me, speaking of some of the initial social
Speaker 1: work jobs that I had. So I do think that
Speaker 1: it was mindset first. Then there were some tangible shifts
Speaker 1: that I made, like living in an RV, like getting
Speaker 1: my master's degree, like having this podcast and engaging in
Speaker 1: a community that's going to help me think critically about
Speaker 1: important shifts to be making. But ultimately it began with
Speaker 1: me and it began in my mind. Yeah, I wrote
Speaker 1: something down and now, once I'm reading it, I realized
Speaker 1: there's actually like something deeper than what I wrote. So
Speaker 1: my initial to the question, I wrote my initial answer
Speaker 1: was starting to pay off debt. That was the biggest
Speaker 1: the decision to act before I actually believed I could
Speaker 1: pay off the debt. I essentially had to fake it
Speaker 1: till you may get mentality, and it took starting and
Speaker 1: making small winds in the beginning for me to actually
Speaker 1: start believing that this was something I could do. But
Speaker 1: I realized even before that I had a partner who
Speaker 1: was pulling me up with him, was pulling me into
Speaker 1: the mindset, the growth mindset, that he already had. He
Speaker 1: wasn't pushing me to do something I didn't want to
Speaker 1: do because at the beginning I didn't want to do it,
Speaker 1: I didn't think I could. So I didn't want to
Speaker 1: waste time being miserable doing something I didn't think I
Speaker 1: could do in the end anyway. But he lifted me
Speaker 1: up with him and I had and it was that
Speaker 1: supportive partner that I think, got me to make the
Speaker 1: action before I had the mindset and supported me. And
Speaker 1: so I would say a supportive partner. I mean, yes,
Speaker 1: you can do it on your own, action before mindset.
Speaker 1: Just keep going fake do you make it Um but
Speaker 1: if you have a partner that's not supportive in growth
Speaker 1: and not, yeah, not supportive in your growth, like drop
Speaker 1: them like a bad habit. I just I mean, because
Speaker 1: that was a I'm sorry, I take that back. Don't.
Speaker 1: Don't do that if you don't want to. But seriously,
Speaker 1: like you don't need deadweight. So if you feel like
Speaker 1: you have dead weight hanging on you get it off.
Speaker 1: That's what I'll say. Yeah, be aware of the influence
Speaker 1: others are having, especially that that closest relationship, and at
Speaker 1: least adding more in if they don't currently exist. You
Speaker 1: are going to need support in this process. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: easier to do it on your own than it is
Speaker 1: to be carrying dead weight. It's easiest to do it
Speaker 1: with a really supportive partner. Yeah, nobody will lie to
Speaker 1: you and say it's just as easy to do it
Speaker 1: on your own as it is with another income and
Speaker 1: a supportive partner. No, but he's gonna say that. Um,
Speaker 1: but it is much harder to do it with someone
Speaker 1: who's dragging you down than to just do it on
Speaker 1: your own. Thanks for listening if you've made it this far.
Speaker 1: We know this was not an easy topic. It's complicated,
Speaker 1: it's nuanced. We did not cover all of the things
Speaker 1: that we could possibly have covered, but we hope this
Speaker 1: is helpful in some way. We hope you feel seen
Speaker 1: and supported and and thank you for your support of us.
Speaker 1: Many of you know that we do have a private
Speaker 1: community where we do some of these monthly money challenges.
Speaker 1: We offer accountability and community where you can be further
Speaker 1: supported and we want to congratulate one of our members
Speaker 1: for a big win. Janina said, I've just made my
Speaker 1: way through the dream life videos. Yeah, we've got some
Speaker 1: visuals for you in that membership. I found them very interesting,
Speaker 1: especially recognizing the difference between fixed and growth mindsets and
Speaker 1: how those can affect us. As I would doing the workbook,
Speaker 1: I found that when I began to break down my
Speaker 1: goals into clear steps, they didn't seem so huge and unattainable.
Speaker 1: I look forward to taking off my smaller tasks and
Speaker 1: achieving my goals in the near future and seeing how
Speaker 1: those helped shape my long term future. Amazing. More about
Speaker 1: mindset figure. Yeah, that wasn't that planned. That one just
Speaker 1: happened to be in this episode, but, Janina, I'm glad
Speaker 1: you're just reinforcing what we've spent an hour talking about. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening for being here. If
Speaker 1: you want to check out our monthly challenge community had
Speaker 1: to frugal friends podcast dot com slash club, you can
Speaker 1: see what we have coming up next. Then if you
Speaker 1: want to join us, see you next time. Frugal friends
Speaker 1: is produced by Eric Sirian, Jen Jill onto a more
Speaker 1: lighthearted topic, please. So recently too, family members of mine,
Speaker 1: my mother and my brother, pointed out that my arm
Speaker 1: hair is very long, like the hair on my forearm
Speaker 1: is very long. Thankfully it's light colored hair, so, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe people don't totally notice it, but literally in the
Speaker 1: last two weeks both my mother and my brother are
Speaker 1: like like they were talking to me and mid sentence
Speaker 1: like distracted by it separately and we're like, Oh, Jill,
Speaker 1: your arm hair is really long, and I never really
Speaker 1: noticed because my vantage point, you know, it's just kind
Speaker 1: of looking down at it, you don't really realize until
Speaker 1: you flip the arm over that it had like, you know,
Speaker 1: an inch of two inches kind of hanging off of
Speaker 1: hair on your arms. I was appalled really and thinking
Speaker 1: how many people have noticed this not said anything? But
Speaker 1: I kept forgetting about it until I'd be, you know,
Speaker 1: in bed thinking and then realizing, Oh yeah, my arm
Speaker 1: hair is really longer, like I walked past a gust
Speaker 1: of wind and I feel it on my arm. It's like,
Speaker 1: why did I feel so much wind? Yeah, because my
Speaker 1: hair is like blowing the wind on my arm. And
Speaker 1: the other night I was in bed I was like
Speaker 1: Dang in that kind of verbalize it out loud. I'm
Speaker 1: like I gotta, I gotta do something about this arm
Speaker 1: hair and Eric is like, oh well, literally, like midnight.
Speaker 1: Is like you want, you need to ship you want
Speaker 1: to shave it right now. It's like, Oh my word,
Speaker 1: like you think it's so bad that you're willing to
Speaker 1: get up with me and help me shave my arm
Speaker 1: hair cut too. I did need help, but so it's
Speaker 1: like a hard angle to get at. Eric helped me
Speaker 1: to like, but I don't want to shave it all
Speaker 1: the way, like I don't one stubs that hurt me
Speaker 1: when I wear long sleeves. I want to, you know,
Speaker 1: but I didn't. I didn't know fully how. But he
Speaker 1: helped me and I'm like Eric, did you notice? He's
Speaker 1: like yeah, I mean it's long, like so, like you
Speaker 1: notice and you never said something like you need to
Speaker 1: adopt t s a's approach. See something, say something, don't
Speaker 1: wait for my mother my brother to let me know,
Speaker 1: like this is your role as a spouse and a
Speaker 1: partner in life. He was so eager to help me
Speaker 1: get it gone, but apparently not going to be the
Speaker 1: one to point it out. He's like I don't think
Speaker 1: you realize how bad it could go if I point
Speaker 1: something out to you. Yeah, he's right on that. He
Speaker 1: is right. If I would say him, I would not
Speaker 1: have said anything. I also don't think he cared like
Speaker 1: he made me not that. It makes me wonder what
Speaker 1: else is going on that other people are seeing. They
Speaker 1: don't want to say anything. You're my spouse. You're supposed
Speaker 1: to say something, but you're not going to say anything like,
Speaker 1: don't be so scared of me. I have never noticed
Speaker 1: your arm hair. That's good. Ever. Well, hopefully you won't anymore,
Speaker 1: because we handled that situation, me and I together in
Speaker 1: the shower. I'm not gonna say anything so embarrassing